A Different Divergent: More Today than Yesterday
by moonshine356
Summary: Tris and Tobias face off against enemies new and old in the second installment of the Different Divergent series: More Today than Yesterday. Will they find their happily ever after or will their married life be destroyed before it can really begin. Based on the Veronica Roth's characters from the Divergent trilogy.
1. Chapter 1

My large apartment is buzzing with activity right now. Christina is bitterly complaining about none of her clothes fitting now that she's really starting to show while standing behind Ciara styling her long blond hair into an elegant updo for tonight's Valentine's Day celebration and dance. Marlene and Shauna are on my love seat with their heads huddled close together whispering intently about Uriah and Zeke in hushed tones. Every once in a while they giggle almost uncontrollably causing the rest of us to stop what we're doing and stare at them. They only blush a little at the unwanted attention then continue. Since it's a Valentine's Day party tonight, Kirsten and Ella didn't want to come, which didn't surprise any of us. They really don't get out much since Dante and Samuel's execution six weeks ago. Lynn is in the corner of the room at the bottom of the staircase putting a small puzzle together with Tyler, Tobias' 2-year-old little brother, who has every one of my friends as well as Tobias and me wrapped around his little finger. I'm sitting on a barstool at the island with a peach oatmeal mask on my face that quite honestly smells absolutely divine and is making my stomach growl and rollers in my wet hair waiting for my turn to have Christina work her magic on me.

Looking at Tyler makes my heart tighten a little remembering why he's here, and I can't believe how fast the past six weeks have gone. It still seems like yesterday when Tobias and I got that dreadful phone call. We were celebrating the drama around the lists Asher Parrish and Dru Wright developed being over and the fact I fought off the death serum Cameron Wright gave me at the masquerade ball and survived when we got the emergency phone call from the hospital in the center of the city telling us Evelyn had been admitted to the obstetrics ward with life-threatening pregnancy complications. What was worse, the baby was in severe distress as well. We were told Evelyn went to the emergency department earlier in the day complaining of a terrible headache, blurred vision, severe fatigue, nausea, shortness of breath, and sharp pain in her abdomen. She wasn't sure what was going on; she thought she was losing the baby. Thankfully, she went to have it checked out. The doctors who examined her diagnosed her with severe preeclampsia and immediately admitted her to the hospital to treat her with blood pressure medication, a strict low sodium diet, and bed rest until she's far enough along to safely deliver the baby. At the time she was at 24 weeks and 2 days, and the goal is to have her make it to 37 weeks. I pray every single day as hard as I can that Evelyn can make it and my baby girl will be born healthy.

Tobias and I immediately raced to the hospital that day to make sure our baby was going to be okay and check on his mother. I've never been so scared in all my life. I thought my terrified heart was going to hammer its way out of my chest while Tobias sped maniacally through the snow-covered streets of the city to get to the hospital. When we got there, we didn't know exactly where to go and had a hard time finding anyone who was kind enough to help us, which amplified our increasing stress. Tobias completely lost it and blew up. He was screaming at the top of his lungs for someone to take him to his mother and daughter. Finally a nice older Amity volunteer with kind hazel eyes took pity on us and showed us the way to the obstetrics wing. Tobias and I thanked her profusely.

When we stepped off the elevator, we immediately looked for the nurse's station so we could find out which room Evelyn was in. It didn't take us long to find it once we calmed down and followed the plentiful signs on the walls. We announced our arrival to the first nurse we saw, and she kindly took us to Evelyn's room, which was down a series of long corridors. Finding our way now is like second nature but then we were too amped up to follow the simple verbal directions she gave us at first.

When we walked into the room, it was shocking. She looked absolutely dreadful. Her already pale olive complexion was sallow and sickly. She seemed even more frail-looking than she appeared not one short week earlier when Tobias formally introduced me to her at the train yard, and she told us about the baby. She smiled weakly up at Tobias and reached out for him, and after several tense moments he relented and went to her side to hold her hand. I sat down in one of the two comfortable chairs in the corner of the room not wanting to interrupt them.

After a few minutes, Evelyn asked about his decision to adopt the baby. Tobias turned to me and motioned me forward. I went to stand beside him, and together we told her we wanted to adopt the baby. He didn't stop there. He also told her about our fears and reservations, and she seemed to understand so when he told her we had some paperwork for her to sign giving up her parental rights, she immediately agreed. But when Tobias mentioned the baby's father, she got really quiet. She told us he was reluctant to meet with us because of the fact he's still married and living in Abnegation and doesn't want his wife to find out about the baby. That information caught us both off guard. We thought her lover was factionless just like her. Tobias explained to her that we needed the baby's father's information and signature also for the adoption to proceed. She promised us she would have him get ahold of us. So far he hasn't, which has us both on edge.

Once we found out Evelyn had been stabilized and the baby was out of any immediate danger, we decided it was safe to go home. We were slowly walking past the nurse's station on our way out, both totally exhausted, when we were stopped by a social worker who had been placed in charge of Tyler's care when Evelyn was admitted to the hospital. Sadly, both Tobias and I had forgotten about little Tyler, who had spent the entire day playing by himself in the hospital's daycare center, when we got the call about Evelyn and the baby. After very little discussion, we were happy to do it, he was immediately transferred into our custody until after Evelyn could safely deliver the baby and be discharged from the hospital.

Tobias and I knew we were going to be parents but we weren't expecting it to happen so soon, and we definitely weren't ready for a toddler. Having a rambunctious, inquisitive, and sometimes temperamental two-year-old to look after when you have zero child raising experience – Tobias and I neither one had younger siblings at home to look after and babysitters weren't needed in Abnegation because parents think date nights away from the family are selfish – is like trying to perform delicate brain surgery when you're a classically trained French chef, you don't have a clue as to what you're doing.

The first night was the hardest. We didn't know Tyler's routine or if he even had one since he'd been living among the factionless his entire life. We didn't know what he liked and didn't like. We also had a hard time communicating with him. He can still be talking away and I don't have a clue as to what he's saying. Thankfully, Hana told me that was perfectly normal, and he will get easier to understand in time! He remembered us but was extremely shy and didn't want to leave the hospital or his mother to go home with us but once Tobias put him up on his shoulders to give him a ride, he was as happy as a clam and ready to go. He liked the ride Tobias gave him but riding in the car was even more exciting for him. Thankfully it had a built-in car seat, or I'm not sure what we would have done.

I texted Christina with the news we were bringing Tobias' little brother home so she kindly went out and bought everything she thought we would need for him: Clothes, toys, a toddler bed, which Tobias and I neither one had thought about, additional food, and baby shampoo and other necessities. When we got home, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed but he settled in nicely. He only cries once in a while for his mom, which still breaks my heart. We've established rules and a routine, and he seems to be thriving. Every day it gets a little harder to think about giving him back to his mother.

"Earth to Tris," Christina says with humor in her voice. I look up over my shoulder at her, and she's grinning at me. "Where were you? I've asked you the same question three times. Who's watching Tyler tonight?"

"I'm sorry. I was daydreaming. Avery is watching Tyler tonight," I say. "I wouldn't know what to do without her. Four and I would never get to leave the house except to go to work."

"Avey!" Tyler says with excitement on his face, clapping his little hands together. Everyone grins at him. Avery has been a life saver since Tyler moved in with us.

After we got him to sleep that first night, he had cried for his mommy, which threatened to tear my heart out, Tobias and I stayed up late talking about what having Tyler live with us meant for our relationship. We knew our life had changed drastically and permanently that day, much sooner than we thought it was going to. We promised each other a date night every Saturday and time with our friends every other Friday night. Sunday's were no longer going to be spent in bed for hours on end making love, which we were both a little sad about. We decided they were to be spent together as a family with Tyler and then later with the baby. The three of us have done all kind of things from spending the afternoon making dozens of freshly baked cookies then delivering them to all our friends and random strangers in the Pit to just this past Sunday, which was an unseasonably warm February day, going to the large children's park in town to let Tyler run and get all his bottled-up aggression out. He's not used to spending all his time indoors. He wore himself out playing and slept on Tobias' shoulder all the way home since we had taken advantage of the weather and walked.

We were extremely nervous about leaving Tyler with just anyone so Tobias and I talked to several people with kids throughout the compound and were given a list of responsible babysitters, and a familiar name popped out at me immediately, Avery Parrish. I remembered her name from Dr. Parrish's middle of the night visit the day Asher was arrested. I immediately called him and asked if she liked babysitting. He told me she loved it and was very good at it. I called her that afternoon after upper levels was dismissed and made arrangements for her to meet Tyler. They hit it off and she agreed to be our permanent babysitter. I think we made an excellent choice because she's wonderful with Tyler, and he loves her and looks forward to their time together. A towel hits me in the face bringing me out of my reverie and everyone laughs at me. I blush bright red even though no one can see it under my mask.

"I don't know where you keep going, but you better get that mask off your face," Christina says. I throw the towel back at her but she ducks out of the way. I go to the little powder room, which sits in the corner of the living room tucked neatly under the floating staircase and carefully wash the mask off my face making sure I don't get any water in my now dry hair. I go sit on the end of the couch with my legs resting on the cushions, and Tyler immediately leaves Lynn and the puzzle behind and climbs up on my lap. I hold him in my arms, and he rests his head against my small chest. When I notice his eyes start to flutter, I tickle a little up and down his arm and immediately he falls into a peaceful sleep. The whole world is right when I'm holding him in my arms like I am in this moment. I look over at Christina, and she's watching Tyler with an odd look on her face. I furrow my brows at her, and she smiles brightly.

"I can't wait to hold my little one the way you're holding Tyler right now," she says. "If I'm telling you the absolute truth, I'm a bit jealous."

"Hell, I don't even want kids, and I'm a little jealous," Lynn says, putting the puzzle in its box. "He's a great kid." I look down at Tyler and see he's out like a light.

"I don't want to give him back," I quietly say. I don't look at anyone except the perfect little angel who is asleep in my arms right now. I can't believe I said that out loud when I haven't even allowed myself to think the words in my head before. "I want to be selfish and keep him but I know I can't. He isn't mine but I feel like he is. It's going to break my heart when he leaves."

"You'll have your daughter to think about," Christina softly says.

"I know," I say. I have so much more to say but I need to stay quiet. My friends aren't the ones who should be hearing this revelation, Tobias should. Not that it would make a difference. We can't just take someone's child away from them. Isn't that what I was most afraid of when I was in my fear landscape?

Knowing he's totally out, I carefully get up off the couch and carry him up the stairs and put him in his toddler bed for his nap. Tobias had his old bedroom set taken out of the room closest to ours and put into storage. We set that room up as Tyler's bedroom. We bought a little dresser and a rocking chair to go with the bed Christina picked out. She went a little crazy and bought him more clothes than _I_ have, and she kept bringing him more and more until I had to put my foot down. He has to be the best dressed kid in all of Dauntless, maybe the entire city. He's never worn anything twice. I turn on the baby monitor and bring the receiver downstairs with me. When I go to sit back down on the couch, Christina announces that it's my turn. I go and sit on the barstool directly in front of her and let her start working on my hair. I feel her talking the rollers out of my hair as I stare out the wall of windows at the sun reflecting off the tall glass and metal buildings across the way while Christina babbles on and on about tonight's party, thinking about Tobias.

Things are great between us, but we haven't been spending a lot of quality alone time together, and I miss him terribly even though I see him all the time. It's been more than a week since we last made love. To go from making love daily, sometimes more than once a day, to only once a week is brutal. I was watching him closely this morning while he was making pancakes and bacon for Tyler and me, and I got the distinct impression he feels the same way I do. I plan to make love to him tonight if it's the last thing I do but sometimes life get in the way and you don't get what you want. Sometimes a 2-year-old has a nightmare and wants to sleep with you or you're so exhausted you can't keep your eyes open and you fall asleep during supper or my favorite reason for not being with the one you love more than life itself, you have an absurd argument over the toilet seat not being put down and you won't even talk to each other for the rest of the night let alone touch one another. The reason's we haven't been together are mainly baffling to me, except for Tyler's few interruptions. The sound of my phone telling me I have a message brings me back to the present, and Christina hands it to me.

"Everything is stable with Evelyn and the baby," I say with a sigh of relief, reading from the text message. Tobias spends a couple of hours just him and Evelyn at the hospital every Saturday afternoon making sure she and the baby are okay. He's still hurt and very angry with her but he doesn't want to add to her stress so he's trying very hard to forgive her for abandoning him as a child. "She's now at 29 weeks and 1 day."

"How much longer do they want her to go?" Marlene asks while rubbing lotion into her long legs. "I forget."

"The doctors want her to make it another seven weeks and six days to get her to 37 weeks," I say with a yawn.

"Are you okay, Tris?" Christina asks, worry in her voice. "You sure have been tired a lot lately. It's like you're on those pain pills again." Oh, I remember the pain pills I had to take after I fell off the steep path that leads in and out of the Pit. I would sleep for hours on end but this is a different kind of tired. I don't feel dopey, I'm just _really_ worn out. I've often wondered about it myself lately and concluded that the death serum did more damage than we thought, and it's going to take some time to recuperate but I can't tell anyone that. They are never to know exactly what Cameron gave me the night of the masquerade ball or I could end up a lab rat in Erudite.

"I'm okay," I say, another yawn escaping. "I haven't been sleeping very well. I've also been under a lot of stress since well before Christmas, and for some reason my body likes to sleep its way through a tense situation. I thought everything was going to get so much easier after we found Asher, Dru, and Cameron and that situation was put to rest but then Four and I got the call from the hospital, and it was just one crisis right into another. I'm looking forward to some normalcy once the baby's here and she's healthy and safe in my arms."

"I hope you're right," Christina quietly says. She lets out a little gasp in my ear, and I turn and look at her. She's holding her stomach and has a goofy expression on her face.

"What is it?" I tentatively ask.

"The baby," she says with awe on her face. "I just _felt_ the baby." She holds perfectly still for a moment then tears start to stream down her face. "It feels like little butterflies are moving in my stomach. I've never felt anything like it before. It has to be the baby." Her eyes meet mine, and I give her a bright smile. She wipes the tears away.

"Do you want to call Will?" I say to her. She shakes her head.

"No," she says. "He won't be able to feel it. It's so faint. I'll tell him when we get together tonight." She lightly rubs her fingertips on my cheek for a second. "It feels like that but on the inside." My eyes widen at the feeling. It must be amazing to feel a new life move inside you for the first time. "Turn back around, I have to finish your hair." I do as she says. Everyone tries very hard not to add to her stress nowadays. She can get _very_ testy.

Within minutes, my hair is done, and I'm upstairs slipping into my new lingerie I bought especially for tonight, which consists of my normal style bra and boy shorts but they're a daringly see-through candy apple red, especially for Valentine's Day. Christina talked me into them last week. Maybe later tonight I'll be thankful for that but right now they seem extremely out of character for me. I slide the black long-sleeved see-through crochet swing dress that overlays a removable black spaghetti strap slip lining over my head. It barely comes to mid-thigh on me, so I decided when I bought it to pair it with my black and crimson thigh-high leather boots Tobias got me for Christmas. I'm sitting on the edge of the bed lacing them up when I realize it's the first time I've had them on since the night Tobias was attacked on the path. Thinking of that night makes my heart hurt. I shake off the bad memory and stand in front of the mirror. This is definitely the most daring outfit I've ever worn, and it shows a lot of skin but I love it. I have a sneaky feeling Tobias is going to also. Christina pulled my curls into a messy updo using sparkly diamond-tipped bobby pins to hold them back. She also did my natural-looking makeup for me. She wouldn't take no for an answer. I think she misses working in the salon since she got the promotion to manager of the boutique after Zoe was made factionless for helping Dru and Cameron fool me the night of the masquerade ball. I take one last look in the standing mirror then head towards the stairs but movement stops me at Tyler's room. He's sitting on the floor soundlessly playing with his cars.

"Hi," I say, leaning against the doorframe. He looks up at me and beams. God, he reminds me so much of Tobias, except his eyes are mine. I imagine if we ever have a son, he will look something like Tyler.

"Pitty, Twis," he says.

"Thank you, Tyler," I say kneeling down in front of him. "Do you want to go downstairs and wait for Avery or would you like to play up here?" He looks at his trucks then looks back up at me. "You can bring two trucks with you." He picks up his two favorites, a bright red fire engine and a big yellow dump truck, and carefully follows me down the stairs. When we get to the bottom, Avery is standing in the doorway with a bag. Tyler drops his trucks and runs full speed at her.

"Avey, Avey, Avey," he screams. She bends down and picks him up when he gets to her.

"Hi there, buddy," she says. Then she holds up the black red-heart-covered bag she brought with her. "I brought a new movie to watch and some popcorn." I smile at the pretty, petite auburn-haired girl who has her father's warm light brown eyes.

"We're going to go now, Avery," I say as Ciara, Marlene, Shauna, Lynn, and Christina gather behind me. Christina's already cleaned up my apartment while I was upstairs getting dressed. She amazes me. "There's a cheese pizza in the freezer you can put in the oven. Help yourself to anything in the fridge. You know Tyler's schedule. Four and I will be home before 1:00 a.m. You have our numbers if you need anything. Can I get you anything before we go?"

"No, Tris," she says. "You guys have fun tonight." I follow my friends out into the hallway but turn and look at Tyler before I go. He meets my eyes and gives me a bright, loving smile and a little wave. I return his smile and lock the door behind me.


	2. Chapter 2

I leisurely walk with Christina, who's wearing a skin-tight strapless crimson cotton tube dress that hits her mid-thigh, down to the cafeteria for the special Valentine's Day supper she planned. It accentuates every curve she has and shows off her growing baby bump, which she absentmindedly keeps rubbing. It actually makes her look more pregnant than she really is. She's wearing matching black and crimson 4-inch spike heels and has her black curly hair, which has grown out another inch or two, styled naturally with a sparkly crimson headband holding it away from her face. She walks confidently down the path, not a care in the world. If I was wearing shoes like the ones she has on, I would either fall flat on my face or off the side of the path … _again_. She had to stop at her apartment and get the gorgeous matching diamond tennis necklace and bracelet Will gave her to wear tonight so we sent Ciara, Marlene, Shauna, and Lynn on ahead of us. I notice her eyes on me as we walk down the path.

"When are you going to tell everyone about your engagement?" she asks. "It's been six weeks since Dante and Samuel's executions. Kirsten and Ella should be able to take it by now." I thought it was cruel to exploit Tobias' and my happiness in the midst of their misery so we didn't tell anyone we're getting married. I never stopped wearing my engagement ring, but no one has ever noticed it, except for Christina, or if they have, they never said anything to either me or Tobias.

"Actually, we plan on telling everyone tonight at supper," I say, a smile brightening my face. "And tomorrow afternoon Four, Tyler, and I are going to visit my parents and give them the news about the baby. This is going to be a big weekend for us." My parents inconveniently found out about my engagement to Tobias when I blurted out he was my fiancé when I was being interrogated under truth serum after being accused of being Divergent by Asher Parrish. Of course he was right, but I was able to lie even under the harsh effects of the truth serum and save not only myself but Tobias also. We didn't think the interview room in the middle of Candor was the appropriate place to tell them we're also adopting his baby sister so we made unofficial plans to go to Abnegation and then Erudite to tell Mom, Dad, and Caleb at a later time when things calmed down. Then when Evelyn's complications arose, Tobias and I decided not to tell them until we were 100% sure the baby was going to make it but we did make the decision to tell our friends since we brought Tyler home with us. We knew they would be curious, and they've all been great emotional support.

"Wow, that's a big step," she says. "Are you nervous?"

"Terrified actually," I say with a bit of a grimace on my face. "I don't want to alienate them, my parents especially. I thought I would lose them by leaving Abnegation but we're so much closer now than when we were all living in the same house. It's baffling, I really can't wrap my head around it."

"They'll be shocked at first like my mom was when she found out I was pregnant," she says. "Words might be exchanged but they'll soon realize if they ever want to _see_ their grandchild they can't alienate you or Four for that matter. It will be fine. You'll see. It might be rough for a little while but you'll all get through it. Mom, Will, and I did." Christina finally told me a couple weeks ago just how rough it was when she told Stephanie that she and Will were expecting a baby. Her mom was not happy and tried everything within her power to get them both to not only change their minds about keeping the baby but also break up. When she was able to find her voice, she was in shock, Christina told her mom to back off, that she loved Will, and they were happy with having a baby. She also told her if she ever wanted to see the baby, she could never talk to them like that ever again. Her mom finally relented and calmed down. Christina didn't tell me any of that for a long time, and I think that's why she doubted Will a little when she found out Tobias proposed and she didn't have a ring on her finger yet and was already pregnant.

Christina and I come around the corner by the cafeteria to find Will and Tobias waiting for us. When I meet Tobias' smoldering eyes, which are leisurely gliding up and down my body as I come closer to him, it feels like everyone else in the Pit just melts away, and I'm left walking toward him and him alone. He looks especially handsome tonight in a black pair of boot cut dress pants, a tight long-sleeved button-down shirt in black with a crimson pinstripe, and black leather ankle boots. I rush into his arms, and his mouth lands on mine for a long, lingering kiss. It feels like it's been so long. He slips his tongue between my already parted lips and slowly mates it with mine, causing desire to stir deep within my core. We break away from each other, our breath coming hard and fast. I look up into his passion-clouded eyes, which seem a full shade darker blue.

"I love you, Four," I quietly say. I so want to call him Tobias in this moment because right now he _is_ my sensitive, caring, romantic Tobias. He isn't everyone else's stern, callous, aggressive Four. He takes me back in his arms, leans over, and puts his mouth against my ear making a shiver slowly go down my spine.

"I love you, Beatrice Grace," he says. "You look deathly sexy in that dress. I can't wait to get it off you." I breathe in a ragged breath at his boldness. I have a feeling we aren't going to make it until 1:00 a.m. to steal away.

"Me too," I whisper. We smile at each other, and slowly I realize we are no longer alone in the world. Some have stopped to stare open mouthed at this rare public display but I don't care, I'm with the man I love who loves me just as much, and it's Valentine's Day. He takes my hand in his and guides me into the cafeteria. When we walk into the room, we stop in our tracks. Off white linen table clothes are draped over all the long black metal tables. Down the center of each table top are several black wrought iron birdcages with various height dark pink candles burning and bouquets of red, pink, and white roses in sleek black vases. Each seat has an exquisite place setting consisting of bone china in a light blush pink color, silver of the highest quality that until now has only ever been used on Christmas evening here in Dauntless, and delicate crystal goblets filled with water and champagne glasses filled with sparkling cider. This room has never looked as romantic as it does right now. We finally gather out wits and move toward our table.

"You look absolutely gorgeous tonight," he quietly says. "Just like always."

"Thank you. So do you," I say, placing a kiss on his cheek. I don't want to tempt myself by kissing his lips again. He looks at me and raises his eyebrows. I know what he's asking, and I nod slightly at him. He picks up the champagne glass from his place setting and loudly clears his throat. Every eye at our table lands on us.

"Tris and I have an announcement to make," Tobias says, looking lovingly down into my eyes. We smile brightly at each other, and once again I feel like there isn't another soul on the planet with us. "I asked her to marry me."

"And I said yes," I finish for him. He gently puts his lips to mine and kisses me tenderly. All our friends are whooping, hollering, clapping, and stomping their feet. A high-pitched whistle is coming from Zeke. A blush colors my cheeks when I see nearly every eye in the cafeteria lands on our table.

"Four and Tris are getting married," Zeke shouts for the entire room to hear, and Tobias' and my eyes widen. Neither one of us like being the center of attention. The whole room explodes in celebration. I'm surprised I can hear myself think. The entire crowd is chanting "kiss" over and over, and I can't help but blush a deeper crimson to match my boots. He puts his arms around my waist and I drape my arms over his shoulders. He pulls me close and softly touches his lips to mine. I lose myself in this kiss like I so often do and don't care that there are hundreds of eyes on us right now. The place goes wild. When we break apart, we're breathing hard and red from head to toe. We both sit down at the table then he wraps his arms around my shoulders and puts his lips in my hair. Soon the crowd settles down and goes back to their own celebrations. Out of the corner of my eye I see Peter get up from his table and stalk out of the cafeteria. I try not to think about his declaration on New Year's Eve but I imagine this news isn't the easiest for him. It makes me feel sorry for him a little ... a _very_ little. I push any thought of him out of my mind and think only of Tobias and our happiness.

"Congratulations, guys," Zeke says. "What took you so long to tell us?" I meet Tobias' shocked eyes. He obviously didn't know that Zeke knew.

"How did you know?" Tobias asks.

"The rock on her finger," Zeke says, pointing at my hand. Q"I'm not blind." I look at my diamond that sits atop the infinity band that represents our never-ending love. I will admit it's hard to miss. Ciara, Marlene, Shauna, and even Lynn clamor to look at it. I hold my hand out so everyone can see.

"We didn't want to make the announcement with the executions so fresh in everyone's minds," I quietly say.

"Everyone could have used some good news," Uriah says. "Maybe you should have told us earlier." I think of Kirsten and Ella for a moment. Their lives changed so drastically when it was found out that Dante and Samuel were key players in letting Asher, Dru, and Cameron know what was going on here in Dauntless on a daily basis. For a while Dauntless members tried blaming Kirsten and Ella as well, and they stopped taking meals in the cafeteria and finally disappeared from view all together. Even some sitting at this table right now tried to blame them when none of it was their fault. I remember a time when even I was stunned that Kirsten wasn't involved. I felt bad that they were being persecuted for things beyond their control and went to them and begged them to come back to the cafeteria to have supper with me. They relented and finally followed. When we got to our table, I firmly explained to everyone that I personally witnessed Dante and Samuel's interrogations, and Kirsten and Ella had absolutely _nothing_ to do with the lists, assaults, or killings and that they would be sitting with us from now on since they're our friends. We haven't had any trouble since that day.

"I didn't think it was fair at the time," is all I say and everyone knows my meaning. Just then dozens of male volunteers dressed in black tuxedos bring in tray after tray of delicious smelling food.

We are served a mouthwatering five-course candle-lit supper the likes Dauntless has never seen with delectable choices including prime rib with a creamy horseradish sauce, blackened salmon, rosemary baby red potatoes, spinach salad with goat cheese, creamy cucumber salad, butternut squash soup, creamy tomato soup with fresh basil and mozzarella, crab cakes, and shrimp cocktail but it's the fresh strawberry cheesecake that's the unexpected hit of the night. It's unlike any kind of cake I've ever had in my entire life. As a matter of fact, it isn't cake by traditional definition. It's moist and creamy and one of the best things to ever cross my lips since I joined Dauntless.

After supper is over, Tobias and I as well as all our friends slowly move into the auditorium for the party. Christina's done it again. I don't know where all her ideas come from but she's transformed the plain, boring auditorium into a lovers retreat. It's decorated in the same colors as the cafeteria: Various shades of red, pink, white, and black. All the round tables are decorated with the same off white table clothes, vases of red, pink, and white roses, and black wrought iron candle-lit birdcages. Here and there throughout the room are red and black loveseats brought in from the furniture store just for tonight. Couples are lounging on them, catching their breath before they go back on the dance floor. The pillars that hold up the ceiling have been transformed into columns of red, pink, white, and black balloons. There are hundreds of various-sized silver metal hearts hanging from the ceiling. The black fabric-lined walls have strands of light pink twinkle lights dancing off the hearts. The dance floor is packed with couples clinging to one another, swaying to the soft rock ballad that's blaring through the enormous speakers on the stage. I see Tori with her new boyfriend, Frankie Dutka, who also just happens to be the DJ I saw her flirting with at the masquerade ball, on stage slowly dancing in each other's arms.

Tobias leads me through the crowd of Dauntless members to our table and gets me another glass of sparkling cider. I sit down and look at the crowd of people moving together and think of the last time I was in this room. My chest tightens at the memory of almost losing my life and leaving Tobias behind but also of Cameron's treachery and his hands on me. A wave of strong nausea washes over me, and I take a sip of my cider and inhale slowly in through my nose and out through my mouth.

"Are you alright, Tris?" Tobias asks with worry in his voice, taking note of my now clammy appearance. I look into his concerned, loving eyes, and the nausea dissipates as quickly as it appeared. I nod and shake off the bad memory. I take his hand in mine, pull him out on the floor, and we dance close to each other for hours getting lost in the music and in each other.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asks me well before midnight. I look up into his eyes and see need radiating out of them. I eagerly nod my head, and he takes my hand and leads me toward the exit doors and out into the Pit. We quickly climb our way toward our apartment, desire tightening my stomach muscles, when he takes a sudden turn down a very familiar hallway.

"What are you doing?" I ask him. He looks down over his shoulder at me, and his gaze sets me on fire. He walks down the hallway, takes a key out of his pocket, and unlocks the door. He opens it and steps out of the way letting me enter his old apartment. I gasp at what's before me. In the middle of the large but very familiar space is his old bed, which I thought he put in storage. Behind the bed is a makeshift headboard consisting of soft pink and white steady-glowing twinkle lights. The bed has crisp, clean white sheets with an oversized black quilt thrown over it. Everywhere I look are dozens of red, pink, and white roses. There's also rose petals scattered at my feet, all over the floor, and across the bed. Soft candle light is glowing from the bathroom, the kitchen countertop, and two tables that have been set up on either side of the bed. There's also a bottle of sparkling cider chilling in an ice bucket on the table closest to the bed with two glasses on it.

"Did you do all this?" I whisper as I turn to face him. He has his hands held out to me, and in each hand is a small black velvet box. "Tobias Eaton. You have to stop with the gifts. I didn't get you anything".

"Yes, I did all this for you," he says, emotion thick in his quivering voice. He clears it and takes a deep breath. "As for the gifts, Tris, get used to them. If I feel the need to get you something, I'm going to do it. Also, you never have to get me anything as long as I have you. You are all I ever want. Open one of them at least." I take the small square box out of his left hand and flip the hinge on the top and see a pair of heart-shaped diamond earrings that take my breath away. "Did you know your birthstone is the diamond? I didn't. Now this one." I hold out my trembling hand and pick up the next more rectangular-shaped box after I give him back the first one. I open the lid slowly, and nestled in the black silk is a tiny little platinum ruby covered heart-shaped lock with a tiny little key for my charm bracelet.

"For our first Valentine's Day," he says as he takes it out of my hand and attaches it to the charm bracelet dangling from my left wrist. I also put the earrings in my naked ears. He kisses them softly. I look into his dazzling eyes, and burning desire makes itself known once again. I reach for him, bringing his mouth to mine just as a thunderous knock sounds throughout the apartment.


	3. Chapter 3

Tobias groans loudly, let's go of me, stalks over to the door, and opens it hastily to see who dare interrupt us tonight of all nights. I don't recognize the timid voice in the hallway but the conversation is over practically before it begins. I do hear whoever it is say they're sorry for the mix up and Tobias closes and locks the door. When he turns back to me I forget all about the interruption and boldly lift my dress and get my hands on the waistband of my barely there boy shorts and slide them down my legs and off over my boots then let my dress return to its normal position. His eyes glaze over with lust at the sight. He takes two giant steps toward me, and I'm once again in his arms. His soft, pink lips land roughly on mine, and he kisses me savagely. He forces his tongue into my mouth and claims it as his own.

My hands move to the waistband of his pants where my sure fingers quickly move the button from its home and slide the zipper down over his straining bulge. He picks me up, carries me across the room, and lies me on my back in the middle of the rose-petal-covered quilt and follows me down. I immediately put my hands in his pants, cupping his hard bottom and pull him closer to me. I squeeze rougher than I intend, raking my nails over the sensitive skin, and he pulls his mouth away from mine with a startled gasp, pain flashing in his eyes.

"Sorry," I mouth as no sound except for a long, low guttural moan escapes from my lips. I can't wait any longer, it's been far too long as it is. I push his pants down over his bottom, freeing his rock hard manhood and take his hard length in my small hand and place him at my moist entrance. He plunges himself fully within my depths with one driving thrust that causes me to scream his name in ecstasy. I grind my hips to his in slow, incessant circles then I start rocking frantically beneath him. He continues with the frenzied pace I set, his need as overwhelming as my own. He slips his hand between us and puts a firm, steady, circular pressure on my hard, aching nubbin with the pad of his calloused thumb, and I feel the familiar stirrings of my approaching release. He increases the pace further, and I meet every one of his slamming thrusts with one of my own until I can't hold on any longer, and I slip over the edge into oblivion. I feel him explode in my depths as I spasm uncontrollably around his length. He collapses on top of me, and I welcome the weight I've been undeniably craving and tenderly kiss his cheek. We let our choppy breathing slow and even out. He goes to pull out of me but I stop him.

"No, don't move yet, Tobias," I say, tightening myself around him, grasping him firmly from the inside. A primal moan escapes his lips into my ear. "God, I've missed you. I've missed this." A tear escapes and slides down my face toward my ear. He rolls us so we're on our sides, still joined, and I'm in his arms. He kisses away the moisture the runaway tear left behind.

"I understand exactly what you mean, Tris. I can't believe it's been a week since we last made love. It seems so long," he says tenderly, almost sadly.

"I know, Tobias," I say. "I am _so_ sorry. I really am. I feel like it's all my fault. I've been so busy with work and Tyler, and I'm absolutely exhausted by the end of the day that most nights you're carrying Tyler _and_ me to bed."

"I understand, and I wasn't blaming you," he says, gently caressing my face.

"Are you feeling neglected?" I ask, remorse in my voice. "Please tell me the truth. I can handle it." His eyes penetrate me to my very soul.

"I do _not_ feel neglected. I do feel a bit lonely even though we sleep right next to each other all night, every night," he says. Then he places his swollen lips gently to mine. He glides his tongue along my bottom lip, and I open my mouth so he can explore every inch of mine with his talented tongue. He kisses me passionately until we break apart gasping for air. "And it isn't just you. I haven't made a move to be with you this entire week either. I've been preoccupied, stressed, and tired." He sighs. "I don't want to become one of those couples who only has sex once a week because it's their scheduled date night, then only once a month, then once a year. I don't think I could handle that."

"I don't want that either. I want to be able to make love to you whenever I want to, whenever the desire hits me." The need I feel for him tightens my tummy, and he's already buried deep inside me where I want him. Another tear slides down my cheek. "I'm afraid I don't know how to balance everything, Tobias. I don't know how to do this," I say, emotion thick in my throat causing my voice to waver. "I want to be a good lover to you, and I also want to be a good Dauntless leader. I want to be a good friend to all our friends, and I also want to be a good council member. But most importantly, I want to be a good mother to our children, and I also want to be a good wife to you. How can I be all those things at once? I'm not sure I can. I feel like I'm failing."

"You're not failing," he says. He withdraws from my depths leaving me feeling empty not only physically but emotionally. He sits up, and I do the same. We stare into each other's eyes for a long time before he continues. "I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. Why didn't you say something to me before, Tris? You can talk to me about anything, you know that."

"I didn't know I was feeling this way until it just came out of my mouth. Honest," I quietly say to him. I look down at the soft, fragrant rose petals that are scattered around us the bed. I absentmindedly pick one up and run my fingers over it, crushing it. "I think we've been concentrating a lot on Tyler and getting him settled into this temporary life. Also we've been worried about the baby and making so many trips to the hospital to see Evelyn and check on her condition. Tobias, I think somewhere along the way, even though we said we wouldn't allow it, we forgot about us. Yes, we've had our Saturday nights and occasional Friday's but everything's become so routine, and I feel like I'm on autopilot." I hesitantly raise my shy eyes to meet his, suddenly worried about his reaction. He's slowly nodding his head.

"I think you're right," he says. He raises his hand and gently glides it down my cheek. "We let life get in the way, didn't we?" I slowly nod my head in agreement. "We need to make _us_ a priority each and every day. We need contact ... not necessarily making love ... but some sort of physical contact every single day. It can be as simple as lounging together on the couch watching a movie or lying in each other's arms in bed talking about our day. Maybe a long, slow make out session in the kitchen while supper is cooking, or scrubbing each other's backs in the shower ... just something that makes us feel connected to each other and whole because honestly that's how I've been feeling lately, disconnected and like a part of me is missing." Tears uncontrollably flow down my cheeks now. He tries to wipe them away with his thumbs but they fall faster than he can dry them. "I hope you don't think I'm saying these things because I'm unhappy or angry with you or to hurt you. That wasn't my intention," he says, sounding pained. I shake my head. I know he's not unhappy, and I can tell he's not angry. He's just feeling the _exact_ same way I've been feeling these past few weeks, cut off from him and missing something. I'm missing my other half ... I'm missing him.

"Tobias," I whisper as this overwhelming need threatening to consume me. "You said you've been feeling disconnected and like a part of you is missing. I've been feeling the _exact_ same way. _You_ are my missing piece, and I need you to fill me. _Please_. Will you make love to me again? I need you so much." He moves his mouth toward mine when I suddenly remember Tyler, and I push him away. Confusion and hurt fill his face. "I'm so sorry but we can't. Not here at least. When we get home. I forgot about Tyler. We have to leave soon so Avery can go."

"No, we don't," he says, a smile brightening his already handsome face. "I arranged with Zander and Stella for her to spend the night with Tyler. We don't have to be home until noon tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day, Tris!"

"A whole night with no interruptions ... _that_ is the kind of gift I will always cherish the most," I say.

He slowly slides off the side of the bed and pulls me with him. We then strip the bed down, releasing an overwhelmingly intoxicating rose scent into the air, being extremely careful of the lit candles. We wouldn't want to set the apartment on fire. I step closer to him and push him back down on the bed and finish taking his pants and boxer briefs off as he's kicking out of his shoes and socks. I place targeted kisses here and there starting at his hip bones, working my way down to his toes. I stand at the edge of the bed making sure his eyes are on mine and place my hands on the hem of my dress and slowly raise it up and over my head and toss it to the ground leaving me only in my see-through candy apple red bra and thigh high leather boots. Tobias' eyes nearly pop out of his head when he takes in the sight of me in the daring and totally out of character lingerie. I reach my hands around my back to take the bra off but he shakes his head.

"No," he says, a mischievous smile tugging up the corners of his lips. "Leave it on. I _like_ it." I meet his naughty grin with one of my own. I knew I would be happy I bought this. He reaches his hand out to me, and I take it. He pulls me down on top of him, and I press my small body to his and place my lips on his, kissing him passionately. I eagerly thrust my tongue into his mouth and let it dance with his while my hands roam his perfect body. He runs his hands up and down my curves then starts to take the diamond-tipped bobby pins out of my hair to let my curls fall. The synchronized movements of our kiss continue until he breaks away and draws an uneven breath into his lungs. I sit up, straddling his lap, and I feel his engorged manhood pulsating beneath me. I slowly and methodically rock myself back and forth over his hard length enjoying what the friction of our touching bodies does to my aching nubbin. His already desire-clouded eyes glaze further at the contact, and he reaches up to cover my swollen, aching breasts with his callus-roughened hands. I draw a raspy breath through my clenched teeth as he rolls the hard, little buds between his thumb and fingers. I lean forward slightly and slowly unbutton every button on his shirt while he manipulates my throbbing nipples through the sheer fabric of my bra. He sits up and places his mouth on mine for a hard kiss, his tongue gliding along my bottom lip asking for admittance but I don't open. Finally he nibbles on my bottom lip causing me to gasp, and he powerfully shoves his tongue into my mouth and nearly down my throat searching for mine. I finally meet him, and we let our hungry tongues perform their own special mating ritual. I rip his shirt off his shoulders and toss it to the floor. I move my mouth to his shoulder and place a soft kiss, my labored breaths coming short and fast. He crashes his lips back into mine and flips us over so that I'm once again beneath him.

"Tobias," I manage to say between heated kisses. "My boots."

"Leave them on," he gruffly says. "They turn me on." He looks down into my eyes, and they glaze over further with a powerful lust-filled need. "Do you want me to slow down and take my time or do you want me right now?" I'm nearly delirious with want but I also can't stand the thought of this being over. I don't know what to say.

"Take your time," I breathlessly say, surprising even myself. He smiles lovingly at me and slowly lowers his mouth to mine, once again claiming it as his own. I surrender completely to his talented lips and tongue. He kisses me slowly, purposefully until I think I will die from breathlessness. He moves his hot, wet mouth down to my neck and kisses me while I run my hands up and down his sculpted back. When he sucks gently on the sensitive spot just beneath my left ear, I grab tight to him leaving scratch marks on his back but he doesn't stop. He moves his mouth up and sticks his tongue in my ear, twirling it gently in circles and something happens that's never happened before, a spasm of pure pleasure rockets through my body from where his tongue is mating expertly with my extremely sensitive ear to my pulsating womanhood. He takes his mouth off me with an inquisitive look on his face while I'm trying to regain control of my breathing.

"Did you just come?" he roughly asks. All I can do is slowly nod my head up and down since no sound can escape through my heaving chest. "Hmm." He smiles that cocky grin of his and returns his mouth to my ear. Immediately I feel the spark of another raging fire ignite. I drag his lips back to mine, and he chuckles against my open mouth. He finally breaks away and kisses down my neck to my ravens. He kisses each one in turn until he lands on his. He traces every inch of my largest raven with just the very tip of his wet tongue making the need I feel pulsate even greater between my legs. He then kisses further down my body to my heaving, swollen, tender breasts. He reaches underneath me and unclasps my bra and slowly slides it off. He then cups a breast in each hand, kneading gently, eliciting a groan from the pit of my stomach. His eyes meet mine as he flicks each of my aching peaks with his fingers. He then captures one between his lips and sucks it deep into his mouth. My back arches off the bed, and I'm starting to reconsider the slow down and take your time approach as every touch is felt between my open thighs, which I keep inching further and further apart.

"Tobias," I moan on a ragged breath of air. "Please." I don't know what I'm asking for, I just want it to continue. He switches breasts and draws the hard, aching, sensitive bud deep into his mouth, sucking, nibbling, and licking. He glides his right hand down my body, caressing me freely until he finds my moist center open for him. He insert his middle fingers into my depths and starts thrusting and retreating in a slow, deliberate pace. After a few minutes he adds a second, and I arch toward the exploring fingers. I pull his mouth closer to my breast as he nibbles on the taut bud. He then inserts a third probing finger into my depths and picks up the pace. When he adds a gentle massage to my hard, aching nubbin with the pad of his thumb a fiery explosion of ecstasy rages through my body making me writhe on the bed beneath him. Finally when the last shudder moves through me I collapse on the bed, not sure I can take any more. He kisses his way back up my body until he's lying between my outstretched legs. He places himself at my tight entrance and looks down into my eyes as I let my breath return to a somewhat normal rhythm.

He puts his forehead against mine, looking directly in my eyes as he guides himself slowly, inch by incredibly hard inch, deep inside my moist womanhood. He stills himself then leans down and hooks his arms under my knees and brings my legs back toward my chest, expanding my small body further for his substantial manhood. He kisses my leather-clad knee, and I swear I feel him swell further inside me, stretching me farther than he ever has. He does love the boots. He slowly rotates his hips, and I trust mine up to him trying to achieve an even deeper penetration. His eyes glaze over as he slowly withdraws then slams back into me fully, bottoming out. A scream leaves my lips and he freezes.

"I'm fine. Do it again," I pant. The concern immediately leaves his eyes, he smiles, and repeats the movements for a good five minutes before he loses himself, and I find myself meeting his slamming thrusts. He slows when he senses my approaching orgasm, and I let him. I'm not ready for this to be over. Even though it's only been a week, I've been missing the spiritual connection we have when we make love. We aren't two people making our way through life when we're joined, we are one, and I wish I could find a way to carry this feeling over into our everyday lives. I feel my orgasm approaching again, and I move letting him know I want on top, and he rolls us. I put my hands on either side of his head and rock back hard onto his hips that are thrusting frantically upward, increasing the pace even further. He captures my swollen breast in his mouth and laps gently at the hard, sensitive bud.

"Oh, God," I say. "Shit." I bite my lip to keep from screaming again. We have to be annoying the hell out of his old neighbors.

"Are you ready to come again?" he breathlessly asks, looking up into my eyes and I nod. He rolls us so he's on top. It's amazing how we both give and take control. He slams into me over and over as I shiver beneath him with the most satisfying release of my life. When I hear him scream out my name, tense, and explode deep within me, I'm still riding the wave of orgasmic pleasure he provided. He rolls us before we collapse, me on top of him. We lie still for a long time, enjoying the feel of each other's bodies and letting our breath return to normal. Slowly I feel his arms reach up and encircle me, holding me tight. I gently roll off of him after he slides out of me and cuddle next to his side. I lean my head back and look in his loving eyes.

"What is it with you and shoes?" I ask with a laugh.

"I honestly don't know," he say. "But I love it when you keep them on when we make love."

"I can tell," I say, playfully slapping his chest. I don't want to sleep but I feel the familiar exhaustion starting to drag me down and I yawn. He kisses my forehead then moves away from me. A pout automatically comes to my lips, and I reach out for him.

"I'm just going to take your boots off and get the quilt, love," he says with a smile. "You shouldn't have to sleep in those, and I don't want us to freeze during the night." He slowly unlaces the boots then slides them off of me after he pushes my hands away. Then he goes throughout the apartment blowing out all the candles but he does leave the twinkle lights behind the bed on giving the room a soft pink glow. He puts the quilt over me then pours us each a glass of sparkling cider then climbs into bed. We lie next to each other sipping the cider and staring into each other's eyes. When I'm done with my glass, I set it on the table closest to me then search out his mouth. We leisurely kiss until I once again find myself yawning.

"I am _so_ sorry, Tobias," I say, sadness welling up inside me. "I'm just _so_ tired. I'd rather stay up and make love to you all night long but I think I need some rest."

"It's okay, love," he says. "Get some sleep. We still have the morning." Desire and fatigue battle within me as I lie naked in Tobias' arms, feeling his hard naked body next to mine but soon the fatigue wins, and the darkness of sleep consumes me.


	4. Chapter 4

My eyes gently flutter open and confusion overwhelms me. I feel Tobias' strong arms around me, and the sweet memories of last night come flooding back, and I finally remember where we are, lying naked in bed in his old apartment. Like I've thought many times before, it pays to be a leader. Most people don't have access to an empty space in Dauntless for a romantic rendezvous.

I can't believe he did all this for me. The roses, the candles, the wall of light, the bed, the time. Tears well up in my eyes at the thought of how much he loves me. There are days this baffles me beyond words. I don't understand how this perfect, kind, romantic, sexy man could possibly be mine. I don't understand how he feels for me exactly how I feel for him but he does.

We made love again in the middle of the night. I reached out for him and was lucky enough to find him awake but in that moment I would have woken him if I needed to, I wanted him that much. We took our time again, thoroughly exploring each other's bodies with our hands and mouths until we couldn't wait anymore. What I loved the most was he relinquished total control to me. I made all the moves, I set our pace, and I brought us to fulfillment together. It was a perfect joining of not only our bodies but our souls.

"Are you awake?" he asks me, pulling me from my reverie. I lean my head back and meet his uneasy eyes.

"Yeah," I say. "I just woke up."

"How did you sleep?" he asks, worry in his voice. "You were tossing and turning most of the night."

"I think I slept okay. I'm a bit tired but other than that, I feel great, Tobias," I say. I lean up and give him a long, lingering good morning kiss.

"I'm going to take a shower," he says, kissing my cheek. Then he adds with a nearly irresistible smile, "Would you like to join me?"

"I think I'm just going to lie here and relax if that's okay," I say. "I need the rest." He kisses my forehead.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asks, caressing my face, the worry returning to his eyes. "You've been awfully tired lately."

"I've been thinking about why that might be," I say, remembering a random thought I had yesterday while getting ready for the party. "I think it's the death serum." At mention of the death serum and that awful night, Tobias' entire body tenses up beside me. "I should probably go have it checked out with Dr. Parrish. I think it's having lingering effects on me. I'm sure I'm okay though. Go take your shower. I'm going to sleep a little more. I love you." He kisses me gently, worry still evident in his eyes.

"Okay, I love you, too," he says. I lie back looking at him. He gets out of the bed and goes into the bathroom, leaving the door wide open. I watch every move this gorgeous naked man makes and desire tighten my stomach muscles. _What are you thinking, Tris?_ A magnificent man, the man you love more than anything, wants to take a shower with you – make love to you – and you would rather sleep _. What is wrong with you?_ I quickly slide out of bed.

Suddenly my world no longer feels like my own. My body temperature spikes drastically even though I don't have a stitch of clothing on and there is no heat on in the apartment. A wave of nausea unlike anything I've ever felt before crashes over me causing my mouth to water almost uncontrollably. Dizziness overwhelms me, and I reach out to balance myself but there's nothing to hold on to. An annoying buzzing sounds in my ears, and black spots interrupt my vision then they quickly turn into complete tunnel vision right before blackness engulfs me.

An irritating, rhythmic beeping brings me back to the world. My heavy eyelids fight their way open, and I recognize the sterile white walls, low-hanging fluorescent lighting, and lumpy, uncomfortable mattress of an infirmary examination room bed. To my horror, I realize I'm in a hospital gown. I look around but I'm completely alone. I now realize the beeping that woke me up is the heart monitor that's attached to my chest. I also have an IV in the back of my hand that's delivering some kind of clear fluid into my body, and there's oxygen being forced into my nose. I try to remember what it was I was last doing, but I'm having a hard time concentrating. My last real clear memory was Tobias and I together last night at the Valentine's Day party. I think harder, and I vaguely remember lying in bed talking to him then suddenly it all comes rushing back to me ... his old apartment, my Valentine's presents, making love, waking up in each other's arms. I also remember that I decided to take a shower with him when I started feeling sick. I wonder what happened. I also wonder where everyone is at.

I hear subtle voices in the hallway and think I can make out Tobias' deep, rumbly voice but I'm not sure. If I wasn't attached to all these wires, I would simply get up and see if I could find someone who could give me some answers. I notice a little machine clamped to the end of my left index finger. I squeeze it, and it comes off, sounding an alarm. That should get someone's attention. I hear the sound of rushing footfalls heading my way so I put the little clampy thing back on my finger, and the alarm stops going off. Tobias is the first one through the door, his eyes wild and his chest heaving breath in and out. When he sees me awake he visibly calms.

"You're awake," he says, coming to the side of my bed. I reach out and take his hand in mine. I immediately calm when we touch but I feel his hand shaking in mine. I notice he's wearing his black dress pants and that's all. No shirt and no shoes or socks.

"What's going on, Four?" I quietly ask, a confused fog enveloping me. "Why am I here?" A young man, 25 years old at the most, with dark-colored hair with bright blue highlights, multiple rainbow-colored piercing in his ears and on his face, and a stern look approaches me. He's wearing a stethoscope around his neck and black and purple scrubs. I've often wondered if there were any other doctors working here with Dr. Parrish. "No offense, but I would like Dr. Parrish to examine me. He's been my doctor since I've come to Dauntless." Those aren't the real reasons I want to talk to Zander but I don't know what else to tell him. He sighs dramatically and gives me a hard look. I see Tobias glance at him with an I-told-you-so grin.

"My name is Dr. Young, and like I was just telling Four here, Dr. Parrish is not on duty tonight," he says in a very snippy tone. "You will either have to let me look at you or you can just wait until Dr. Parrish is back on duty the day after tomorrow." I feel Tobias' grip on my hand tighten, and his grin disappears. I look at the smug doctor standing in front of me then narrow my eyes and glare at him. I don't like his tone. I may be young but I _am_ one of Dauntless' leaders, and I deserve respect.

"Four?" I ask, not taking my eyes off of Dr. Young. "Will you please call _Zander_ and have him come down here. I need to speak to _my_ doctor. And you, Dr. Young, need to watch your tone. You may not realize who you are talking to right now but I have the authority to make you factionless. I'd remember that in the future." The doctor looks at me incredulously, throws his hands up in the air, and then walks out of my tiny room.

I could see visible shock on Dr. Young's face for a split second when I called Dr. Parrish, Zander. After the trouble with the lists, Asher's execution, and trusting one another with our deepest, darkest secrets, Zander and his wife, Stella, and Tobias and I have become really good friends. We've even taken Tyler to their apartment for supper with his large-by-Dauntless-standards family. He and his wife have six children ranging from 3 to 15: Zane, Sadine, the twins Nash and Nya, Gavin, and Avery. Zane just turned 3, and he and Tyler get along incredibly well. They're inseparable at daycare. The staff likes to call them the terrible two even though there isn't anything remotely terrible about either one of them.

"I already did, Tris," Tobias says, palming my cheek with his hand. I lean into him. "He's on his way here. Are you okay? What happened?"

"I was asking you that," I say. "I don't remember a lot. It's kind of fuzzy. I think I was following you into the shower but then I ... I don't know what happened. I felt bad ... really bad."

"I found you lying on the floor at the foot of the bed when I got out of the shower," he says. "You nearly scared me to death. I put my pants back on, wrapped you in the quilt, and raced you down here."

"You brought me _naked_ through the Pit?" I ask, a deep crimson coloring my entire body. The heart monitor's steady rhythmic beep surges dramatically and starts jumping all over the place at the thought.

"Calm down, Tris," he says, his hands hovering like they did the night I fell from the path. "I didn't think I had time to redress you. It was just easier to wrap you up like a cocoon and bring you down here. No one but the two nurses who helped you into your hospital gown saw anything, and they're the ones who have helped you in the past." I calm down at that. I guess I had a vision of him running through the Pit with me naked in his arms. That almost sounds like Zeke or Uriah's idea of a great dare for Candor or Dauntless. I better never mention it to anyone.

"I don't care what you think. If Four or Tris or anyone else for that matter _ever_ has an emergency and wants to see _me_ , you damn well best better call me," I hear Zander yelling in the hallway. "I don't _ever_ want to have a patient call me at home because you won't respect their wishes." I hear Dr. Young say something back but I can't quite make it out. Soon Zander is coming into my room and closing the door behind him.

"Thanks for coming, Doc," Tobias says, reaching out to shake his hand. We usually only call him Zander when we're socializing.

"I'm sorry to call you down here in the middle of the night on your day off," I say to him apologetically, a sheepish look on my face. I look up into Tobias' eyes and see fear, which in turn scares me. This isn't anything to really worry about, is it? "We both think this has something to do with the death serum." He straightens up a bit at that. "Otherwise I would have let Dr. Young look at me."

"It's okay, Tris. I totally understand, and I'm glad you called for me. Did you really threaten to make him factionless," he says with a chuckle, sleep still evident in his voice. I nod my head at him and he grins. "What am I going to do with you? You keep terrorizing my staff."

"He wasn't very nice to us," I say. Tobias nods in agreement. This sobers him up, and he looks over his shoulder toward the hallway with a frown on his face. "I thought I needed to remind him who he was talking to."

"He'll be dealt with, Tris. I'm sorry for his behavior and how you've been treated here tonight," he says. "Four told me he found you unresponsive on the bedroom floor. Can you tell me what symptoms you've been experiencing?" He holds up my written chart and flips it open.

"Tonight I got really hot, nauseous, and dizzy. My ears started ringing, there were black spots in my eyes, and then ... nothing. I've been incredibly tired lately ... _unreasonably_ tired." He gazes at me for a moment, his head cocked to one side and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"I want a urine sample and a blood draw. I'm going to check the results of this blood panel against the ones from your last visit to see if there have been any changes. You guys sit tight," he says. He walks out the door, closing it behind him. The heart monitor gives away my nervous state. I hear a grating noise as Tobias pulls the waiting room chair across the floor up to the side of my bed and sits down. He takes my now trembling hand in his.

"It's going to be alright, Tris," he says. I stare at him but I'm not quite seeing him. I'm thinking of the masquerade ball and that damn Cameron dressing up exactly like Tobias and slipping death serum into a glass of sparkling cider. I didn't think twice about taking something from Tobias that night but I should have been more careful, more aware. I should have turned around and looked at him and none of this would be happening right now. I knew Cameron was stalking Dauntless and planned on making a move that night but instead I fell right into his trap. I thought I fought off the death serum that awful night and that I was going to make a full recovery. I felt great for about three weeks but the past three have been hell even though I never told anyone. What if I was wrong, what if we _all_ were wrong. What if it's been killing me slowly? Tears of frustration and anguish flood my eyes. Tobias jumps up when he notices the waterworks and sits on the edge of the lumpy mattress and pulls me into his arms. I sob into his naked chest. He holds me until the tears dry.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I shouldn't let my imagination run away with me. Whatever this is, we can handle it together. Right?" He places his hands on either side of my face and looks deeply into my eyes. I see fear, love, and pain on his face.

"Together we can do anything, Tris. You're going to be fine. I know it," he says before he places his lips on mine. He kisses me until we hear the door open. We break away, and I see Isobel walk into the room.

"Sorry for the interruption," she says, a slight blush on her face. I quickly wipe away the few tears still running down my cheeks. "I'm here to draw your blood and get a urine sample." Tobias gets up off the bed, moves the chair back to its original position, and sits down out of her way. First Isobel draws two vials of blood, which makes me a little lightheaded then she helps me to the little bathroom in the corner of the small room so I can collect a urine sample. Another nurse is waiting in the room when we come out, and I immediately recognize her as Emily, the striking nurse with long curly purple hair and a painful looking stud in her bottom lip who first helped me the night I fell from the path. She thinks I have a bad attitude. I'm glad it's Isobel who is helping me tonight. Isobel hands her the urine sample and blood vials, and she takes them to have them analyzed as Isobel helps me get back into bed and gets me hooked back up to all the machines.

"I don't know what tests he is running so I can't say how long he will be," she says to us. "Can I get anything for either of you? Four, would you like me to get you a pair of scrubs to put on?" He looks down at himself and blushes slightly. I think he forgot he's sitting there bare chested.

"Yeah, I would appreciate that, Isobel," he says. "Thank you." She smiles and heads out of the room. Tobias moves the chair back to the side of my bed and holds my hand. We stare at each other, not saying a word. Within minutes, Isobel brings in a pair of scrubs for Tobias. We thank her, and he goes into the small bathroom and changes into the bright green pants and shirt. He looks really good dressed this way and, unbelievably, desire tightens my tummy and I sigh.

"You look good in those," I shyly say. When he comes back to me, he moves the chair out of the way and sits on the side of the bed.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but you look hot in that hospital gown," he says. I look at him like he's lost his mind. He leans close to me and whispers, "How about I keep the scrubs, you keep the gown, and sometime we can play doctor." Even growing up in Abnegation, I know what that reference means. I roll my eyes at him and start laughing. He joins me with the belly laugh I love to hear from him. I immediately start to relax.

"Tobias?" I ask after we've been quiet for a while. He looks at me. "I'm sorry about this. It kind of put a dent in our morning."

"Don't apologize, love. You have _nothing_ to apologize for," he says, placing a kiss on my forehead. I close my eyes while his mouth is on me. We break apart when we hear the door open, and Tobias gets up and stands by the side of the bed.

"I have some news for you," Zander says after he comes back into the room and closes the door behind him, a serious look on his now wide awake face. "You might want to sit back down, Four." My heart rate picks up as evident by the heart monitor, which is beeping erratically again. Tobias takes my hand in his, bracing himself for the bad news, but he doesn't sit down. "Tris, all the tests have been analyzed and ... you're pregnant."


	5. Chapter 5

I automatically start giggling like I just heard the funniest joke ever told. Tobias drops my hand and backs away from the bed until he bumps into the plain white wall, his public mask transforming him from Tobias into Four. It sounded like Zander just said I was pregnant but I know that's impossible. We were extremely responsible and went to the clinic in town months before we made love for the first time, and I had the birth control shot that protects a woman from pregnancy for 12 months. Then we waited more than the three months that Isobel, the nice nurse who works at the clinic and sometimes here in the infirmary, recommended we wait to make sure it was effective. He has to be mistaken.

"No, I'm not," I say, still giggling. He must be teasing me but it really isn't a funny joke, so why can't I stop laughing? "Your tests must be wrong. I can't be pregnant, Dr. Parrish." He looks at me like he's extremely worried for my sanity, like I've quite possibly lost my mind in the last few seconds while he's been standing here watching me and there isn't anything he can do to help.

"Tris, I'm afraid you _are_ in fact pregnant," he states matter-of-factly. "Along with the other tests I ran this evening, I thought I would run a pregnancy test just to rule it out because all your symptoms are consistent with pregnancy. It's the one and only test that came back positive." Suddenly the humor I'm feeling fades away, and I feel like I'm silently choking. No, I can't be pregnant. There has to be some mistake. Maybe I'm still asleep back in Tobias' old apartment. I slowly start shaking my head. The heart monitor stops sounding for an entire second before it starts beeping faster than I've ever heard it beep before.

"I had the birth control shot in September, Dr. Parrish," I say, disbelief consuming me. "We waited longer than the three months Isobel told us to wait before we made love. I _can't_ be pregnant." I look toward Tobias, who is still as stone, and notice that the Four mask is firmly in place so I can't see what he's thinking or feeling. I wish I knew how he felt about this.

"You need to calm down, Tris. It isn't good for you or the baby," the doctor says. I'm still slowly shaking my head at him. I hear the words coming out of his mouth but I don't comprehend them. My heart is trying to painfully hammer its way out of my chest, and I'm having a hard time catching my breath. "I blame myself for this. If I would have been paying more attention to the blood tests I ordered on New Year's, this could have been avoided. I would have told you that you needed to use another form of birth control until another shot could be administered and its level was protecting you. I was so concerned with the levels of the main toxin in the death serum being eliminated from your system I didn't notice the active ingredient in the birth control shot was decreasing as well. Essentially, the death serum erased the birth control shot allowing you to get pregnant. I'm very sorry. I would estimate you are six weeks pregnant by the blood test but we'll have to do an ultrasound to confirm." Six weeks. It's been _exactly_ six weeks since Tobias and I made love after the masquerade ball fiasco.

Tobias slowly lowers himself into the waiting room chair by the wall. His mask falls away, and when I see the shocked expression on his pale face, tears well up in my eyes. I wonder what he's thinking. Why won't he look at me? My breath starts to come in short, sharp, agonizing gasps. Zander rushes to my side.

"Tris, you _need_ to calm down," he says. I try but I can't. He yells out the door for someone to bring something, I don't understand what it is he's saying mainly because I can't think straight and my world starts to spin. A nurse brings a syringe immediately, and he administers its contents into my IV port. Instantaneously I feel a calming effect spread throughout my entire body, and I stop hyperventilating. He takes his stethoscope from around his neck and puts it to my heart, listening very carefully. I notice the worry in his eyes fade away. "I just gave you a very mild sedative. It shouldn't cause you to sleep, but it will help keep you calm. You need to try to stay calm, Tris. That is very important for you as well as the baby. I'm going to leave you and Four to talk for a little while. You need a pelvic exam and ultrasound. Would you like me to do them or would you be more comfortable if I had one of my nurses do it?"

"I would like Isobel to do them," I say, my voice trembling. He turns to walk out of the room, and I stop him. "Dr. Parrish, what do we tell her about how I got pregnant? She's the one who gave me the birth control shot."

"I know the shot is supposed to be infallible but I'll tell her the truth, the poison Cameron gave you on New Year's Eve rendered the birth control shot useless, and I didn't catch it. I really am sorry, Tris. Four. This is probably the last thing either of you expected with another baby already on the way," he says with a sheepish look on his face. "One positive note though, Tris, you are perfectly healthy. The death serum had no lasting effects." So I'm not dying, I'm just pregnant. Pregnant at 16 with another child already on the way. I feel my heart start to hammer in my chest again. The erratic beeping on the EKG thaws Tobias, and he jumps up and sits on the side of the bed. He takes my face between his hands.

"Calm down, Tris," he slowly says. "Keep your eyes on mine. Breath with me, love." He takes long deep breaths in through his nose and exhales them out through his mouth. He does this several times, and I mimic his every move, my eyes never leaving his. Tears are once again swimming in my wide, confused eyes.

"Are you okay, Tobias?" I ask, my voice still shaky. The moisture in my eyes is now overflowing and running down my cheeks. "Tell me what you're thinking. I need to know."

"I'm just in shock, Tris," he says, his voice wavering slightly. I know it hurts him to see me cry but I can't stop the flow of emotions. "Honestly, hearing you are pregnant is the last thing I was expecting Zander to say. Oh, please don't cry." He gets up from the bed and goes to the other side and lies down with me. He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to his side. I snuggle up against him and look up into his face. "Tell me how _you_ feel, Tris."

"I'm scared," I whisper. I pull a couple of unsteady breaths in. "I wasn't expecting to be told that _I'm_ having a baby, especially now that we're adopting your sister."

"Do you want to stop the adoption?" he softly asks. A fierce fire rages through my veins at his words.

"NO," I say, louder than I intend. "She's mine, too. I already love her so much. How dare you ask me to give her up?" He lets me rage at him then smiles down at me.

"I'm glad to hear you feel that way. I love her, too," he says. Then he adds somberly, "Is there any part of you that's happy at all about this news?" I think about his question for a long time, looking at the carefully guarded expression on his face, before I answer.

I'm pregnant. That in itself is scary as hell to me. There are so many things about being pregnant that I don't know and don't understand. Plus I'm still nervous about being a parent. I don't know if I will be any good at it. Also the idea of childbirth is terrifying on so many levels, and I don't know what to expect. All I know is it will be painful, and I'm not a sadomasochist so I'm not particularly looking forward to that part. It's really not the best time to add yet _another_ person to our family. We just committed to adopting his baby sister who I already love like she's my own. On the other hand. I am pregnant with _Tobias'_ baby. Inside me right now is a little person who is half him and half me. This excites and thrills me beyond words.

"I'm happy," I manage to say, slightly above a whisper, my tears of frustration and confusion turning to those of pure joy. "I'm having _your_ baby, Tobias Eaton." I hold my breath waiting for his reply. A bright smile slowly lifts the side of his lips, and he beams at me.

"Remember when I proposed?" he asks. I think back to that wonderful night sitting on the rocks at the bottom of the chasm where he surprised me with his proposal and nod my head. "I told you I wanted to make love with you and have that love turn into a house full of children. I wasn't kidding. My wish is coming true, Beatrice Grace Prior. Six weeks ago, we shared a wonderful, love-filled morning together and now we have a new little life to show for it." He puts his hand across my abdomen, and I cover it with both of my own. "I'm ecstatic, Tris. You've made me the happiest man in this city, in this world." All remaining fear falls away. He's just as happy as I am. He gently places his lips on mine and is kissing me softly when Isobel comes through the door. She clears her throat, and we look her way.

"I hear congratulations are in order," she says brightly. "Dr. Parrish explained the circumstances. May I ask if this is happy news?"

"Yes, it is," Tobias and I say at the same time, smiling at her. "Very happy news," Tobias adds, beaming. He kisses the top of my head.

"I'm glad to hear you're both happy. Unplanned pregnancies can be difficult on a relationship but I know you two will do just fine. You are the most level-headed teens I've ever seen in all my years at the clinic. I shouldn't even describe you as teens, you are wise beyond your years," she says. "Dr. Parrish said you wanted me to perform your pelvic examination and ultrasound. Is that correct, Tris?"

"Yes, it is, Isobel," I say. She explains to me that since all my test results came back negative, except for the pregnancy test, she can unhook me from the machines I'm tethered to. First she takes the IV out of the back of my hand and the oxygen out of my nose. She takes the clampy little thing off my finger while explaining it monitors the patient's oxygen level. I'd wondered what it was for and why it sounded an alarm when I took it off earlier. She then unhooks me from the heart monitor, and I breathe a sigh of relief. It's kind of frustrating and more than a little bit embarrassing for everyone to see and hear my reactions to a situation before I can comprehend how I'm feeling. She helps me out of bed and takes me to the procedure room just across the hall that she set up for my examination.

First she performs the pelvic examination and, this time, Tobias stays with me, holding my hand throughout the entire procedure, keeping me calm. In the corner of the room is a large, boxy-looking machine that looks like a computer built into a cart. She wheels it over by where I'm lying and turns it on. She then repositions the table so I'm lying in a much more comfortable reclined position. She lifts my hospital gown to expose my flat tummy while keeping my naked bottom half covered with a sheet. She puts an ample amount of cold, clear gel on my stomach and takes the transducer that's attached to the side of the ultrasound machine and gently rubs it over my tummy. After a second the thunder of galloping horses fills the room, and I recognize the sound immediately from when I accompanied Christina to the clinic to confirm her pregnancy. That's the sound of the baby's heartbeat ... _my_ baby ... Tobias' and mine. Tears once again stream down my face.

"That's a strong heartbeat. It's measuring 121 beats per minute," Isobel says. Tobias leans over and places a gentle kiss on my lips, and I notice tears in his bright, shining eyes also. He's so happy right now. _I'm_ extremely happy right now. I raise my hand to caress his face. He takes it in his and laces our fingers together. She gets the wand in just the right place and points at the black, gray, and white picture on the color monitor.

"Do you see that right there," she says. "That is your baby." It looks different than what Christina's baby looked like but I imagine it's because she was a lot further along than I am. My baby looks like a little peanut ... my little baby peanut.

"Everything with the pregnancy looks good. I will take a couple pictures so you can take them home with you. You are in fact exactly six weeks along and your due date is ... October 9," Isobel says with a warm smile on her face. She puts the machine away and wipes the jelly off my abdomen. "Since Dr. Parrish is your treating physician, I will let him give you your prenatal instructions. He will need to transfer your case to me at the clinic if you would like me to continue your care. Is that something you would be interested in?"

"Yes, very much," I say. "I feel more comfortable with you, Isobel. I love Dr. Parrish but he doesn't specialize in pregnancy, birthing, and women's health like you do."

"That can easily be arranged," she says. "Tell him you are going to continue with your care at the clinic with me, and he will contact us. Once he has sent over your records, we will schedule a follow-up appointment. At your June appointment in the clinic you can find out the sex of the baby if that is something you would be interested in. I'm going to leave you so you can get dressed."

"Um, Isobel," I shyly say. "Do you have a pair of scrubs I can have? I didn't have anything on when Four brought me into the infirmary."

"Of course," she says with a smile. "Once you change, you can go back across the hall into the other room to wait for Dr. Parrish." She brings me a pair of bright orange scrubs, and I immediately shed the hated hospital gown and put them on. Tobias takes me by the hand and leads me to the room I woke up in, and we sit side-by-side on the uncomfortable, lumpy mattress. I peek up at him and find him looking down at me. I smile brightly at him, and he leans down and places his lips to mine. This kiss isn't full of passion or lust. It's full of pure joy, unlike anything I've ever felt before.

"So do you want the peanut to be a boy or a girl?" Tobias asks. I grin. We think so much alike.

"Peanut?" I ask.

"Didn't you think the picture kind of looked like a peanut?" he asks slowly, trying not to offend me I imagine. I wrap my arms tightly around his muscled bicep, hugging him, and then look up at him through my eyelashes.

"Yeah, I noticed that, too, and I think I want Peanut to be a boy," I say. "I would love nothing more than a little _you_ running around."

"So his name is going to be Peanut?" he asks with a silly grin. I nod my head at him and he kisses me again.

"I hope I'm not interrupting you two love birds," Dr. Parrish says with a look of relief on his face. Tobias and I look toward him.

"Not at all, Doc," Tobias says. "We weren't expecting to have our own child so soon, but we're extremely happy about it so please don't beat yourself up about missing the test results. We all were concentrating on making sure Tris survived that night, which was the most important thing. Who knew it would have these unintended side effects."

"Did you just call our little peanut a side effect, _Four_ ," I ask glaring at him, suddenly irritated. Tobias' eyes grow very wide.

"There is something you need to know about Tris' hormones, Four," Zander says, trying hard not to smile. This seems to really piss me off, too. What the hell is going on? I'm usually not this temperamental. "First, you need to be extremely patient with her. The emotional roller coaster she will experience won't last forever. The first trimester, weeks 1-12 of pregnancy, will be the worse, so your half way through it already. Don't expect the mood swings to disappear altogether after that though, they just won't happen as often. Also mood swings can get pretty bad toward the end when you're both praying for the pregnancy to be over. Second, don't take her outbursts personally or hold them against her. They aren't her fault. If you respond to her with kindness and indulgence, she will be calmer and more grateful and easier to live with." It seems to me the final part of that last sentence was totally unnecessary.

"First of all, _I_ don't like you two talking about me as if I'm not in the room," I say, knowing I'm being unreasonable but being totally unable to stop myself. "And second, is that why I've been secretly plotting Four's murder every time he leaves the toilet seat up." They both look at me with a touch of concern on their faces. "Seriously, I've figured out multiple ways to do it. I would never _actually_ go through with any of the plans but it seems to calm me down when I plot the details. Should I be worried? You both look worried." I see Tobias swallow and sweat beads form on his brow. "I love you, Four. I would never hurt you." He looks at Dr. Parrish with concern on his face.

"It's fine, Four," he says. "Has she been yelling at you a lot?" He slowly shakes his head, his eyes darting toward mine over and over. I only remember one irrational argument. "It seems to me she doesn't want to fight with you and these fantasies are keeping the peace. Am I right, Tris?"

"Yeah," I say, calm and reason returning to me. "I hate it when I snap at him, especially when he doesn't do anything to deserve it."

"I'm sorry," Tobias says. I can tell he doesn't have a clue as to what he's apologizing for, and I smile at him.

"I love you," I say, feeling a tad bit possessed. He smiles and kisses the top of my head.

"Okay, since we have that out of the way. No jumping on and off trains. Jumping on is okay but jumping off can cause a miscarriage. Sex is fine. If it causes pain, bleeding, or cramping then it should be stopped immediately until after the baby has been born. Also contact Isobel or myself straightaway if this happens." At the mention of sex, even though I'm already pregnant, Tobias and I both go red in the face, Abnegation as ever. "I recommend a diet full of fruits and vegetables and a minimum of three servings of dairy each day, five or six would be even better. I would like you to limit your intake of red meat. Acetaminophen is safe to take for head and body aches. If you have any need for any other medications, you can always ask Isobel, myself, or the pharmacist. From week 28 on, you should feel fetal movement on a daily basis. If you don't feel this movement, you need to contact myself or Isobel immediately for instructions. I'm writing you a prescription for prenatal vitamins and folic acid. I would like you to take one a day of each of them. You can take it to the pharmacy and have it filled. There is a strong chance you will experience morning sickness, which can occur at any time of the day. I recommend eating small meals throughout the day so your stomach is never empty, drink plenty of fluids, especially water, to ward off dehydration, and contact myself or Isobel if you are vomiting constantly, cannot keep liquids down, are dizzy when you stand, or you notice infrequent urination. These all are signs of dehydration that require immediate medical attention. Another thing I recommend to all my patients is to stay away from fatty, spicy, acidic, or fried foods, which can all upset your stomach. Do you have any questions for me?" Boy, he gave a lot more instructions than Isobel gave to Christina.

"I'm going to have my prenatal care at the clinic in town," I say. "Isobel said you need to transfer my care to her."

"I'll do that today," he says. "I want you to know, if you ever need anything, and I mean anything, don't hesitate to contact me."

"Thanks, Doc," Tobias says reaching his hand out to Zander who takes it. "We've got to get home so your daughter can get going."

"Anytime," he says. "Four, Tris, congratulations."

"Thanks," we say in unison.

We slowly walk out of the infirmary hand-in-hand and go to the pharmacy to have the prescriptions filled, then we walk up to our apartment in comfortable silence. We have a lot to talk about but the path in and out of the Pit isn't the place to have the conversation we need to have. When we get home, we find Avery and Tyler sitting on the couch watching the movie _Cars_ he loves so much. I'm glad she's watching it with him. Maybe he won't ask me to watch it again today ... maybe, if I'm lucky! I swear I can recite every line by heart now. We let Avery go home after giving her a bonus for staying all night with Tyler and thanking her repeatedly.

"Do you still want to go see your parents today?" Tobias asks after he fixes us a big breakfast and is cleaning up the kitchen. Tyler and I are on the love seat looking through a favorite picture book of his. I forgot all about our plans to go to Abnegation to give Mom and Dad the news about the adoption.

"Yeah, I think I do." I say. "Do you think we should give them all our news at once?" I'm suddenly extremely nervous. I wonder how they will react. He's quiet for a while, contemplating my question.

"I think we should. We might as well get everything out in the open and tell them everything at once," he says.

"Tyler, do you want to meet some new people today?" He looks at me with his sparkling light blue gray eyes and eagerly nods his head. Tobias and I both laugh at his innocent exuberance. "Okay then. I'm going to introduce you to my mom and dad."


	6. Chapter 6

I can feel the tension radiating off Tobias after I get Tyler in the car and we head toward the Abnegation sector. Normally I would think it's the fact we're going to one of his least favorite places in the city, a place full of painful childhood memories and a person who he would rather forget, but today I know his anxiety is coming from having to face my parents and tell them not only are we adopting a baby in about two months but that I'm pregnant. I have to admit I'm not looking forward to my dad's reaction, and I'm sure that's exactly what's going through his mind right now. When Dad found out about our engagement, he punched Tobias in the jaw. I'm still baffled by his reaction, it wasn't very Abnegation-like. Actually, it seems like a very Dauntless thing to do, and my dad is almost the exact opposite of Dauntless.

After riding for more than half-an-hour, we are getting close to the Abnegation sector, and I feel the need to give Tyler some rules. I turn in my seat and look at him. He's playing with his fire truck and dump truck we let him bring along. He plays so well by himself and never makes a fuss. He's quite extraordinary.

"Tyler," I say and he looks at me immediately. "I told you we are meeting my mom and dad today, right?" He bobs his little head up and down at me with a grin turning up his lips. "Their names are Natalie and Andrew. They live in a different faction than Four and I live in called Abnegation." He frowns a little at the word. He's probably heard about the "horrors" of Abnegation from Evelyn who _hates_ the faction she chose then abandoned. "You should be quiet, respectful, and not run in their house, okay?"

"Otay," he repeats back at me, eliciting a huge grin from me. He is extremely good at following directions so I'm not worried about him acting like a holy terror and tearing my parents' house apart. I don't have a lot of good things to say about Evelyn but she has done a wonderful job raising him.

Tobias seems to have gotten over the jealousy he displayed when we first met Tyler, which is good. I told him it wasn't Tyler's fault his mother kept Tyler and left him. He understands and agrees with that now, but I can tell it still hurts him deeply. We turn into the very familiar neighborhood and pull up in front of my parent's small light gray house that looks like every other house on the block. Tobias and I turn and look at each other for a moment.

"Here goes nothing," I whisper, reaching up and caressing his face.

"Everything's going to be just fine, Tris," he confidently says, capturing my hand in his. "I'll make sure of it. I'll never let anyone hurt you. Try not to stress too much. Remember what Zander said, you need to stay calm." The mild sedative he administered this morning to stop me from hyperventilating is still coursing through my veins so I don't think I'll lose it again. Plus I'm happy about the baby. I realize now I was only freaking out when I didn't know how Tobias felt. Now that I know we feel the exact same way, I can handle anything. I'm just a little nervous about what Mom and Dad will have to say.

"I'll be fine, Tobias," I say right before he plants a quick kiss on my lips. I get out of the car and unbuckle Tyler from his car seat and help him out. He asks politely if he can bring his toy trucks in and, of course, I say yes. There isn't much I don't let him do. The three of us walk up the sidewalk, Tyler in the middle holding Tobias' hand, toward the front door. My parents are expecting us so before we can knock, the door opens. They must have heard the car pull up. Both my parents are on the other side of the door, and they usher us into the house. When they notice Tyler both their eyes widen in surprise. If we hadn't seen each other six short weeks ago and they didn't know better, they would automatically think he was our son. He looks like the perfect blending of me and Tobias.

"Who's this?" my mom asks, recovering her voice first.

"This is my little brother, Tyler," Tobias says proudly as he ruffles the toddler's hair. I notice a look of disbelief on both their faces. They know Marcus doesn't have any other children, and they don't know about Evelyn.

"Hello, Tyler. I'm sorry for staring. Please let me take your coats, and we'll go into the family room and talk," Mom says. "Lunch won't be ready for some time." I take Tyler's jacket off as well as my own and hand them to my mom who can't keep her eyes off Tyler. Tobias shrugs out of his light leather jacket and gives it to my mom. When she opens the small closet, he turns away from it, color draining from his face. I take his hand and squeeze it. He looks down at me and manages a smile, which I gladly return. I wonder if he'll ever conquer his demons. I could kill Marcus for the hell he put Tobias through.

I take Tyler's hand and lead him into the familiar family room with Tobias close behind me. We all sit down on the couch, Tyler between us. He's being shy since he's unfamiliar with the space and doesn't know my parents. This is exactly how he was when he first came to stay with us in Dauntless. Now he talks to everyone and doesn't cling to us at all. My mom sits in her chair and my dad in his, and I can tell they have questions on their minds.

"Tyler is Evelyn's son," I say. "He's staying with us for a little while." I'm not quite ready to get into the reason why just yet.

"I remember you saying something about Evelyn when you were under truth serum, Beatrice, and I never got a chance to question you about it," my dad says. "Four, I thought your mother passed away."

"Honestly, Andrew, I thought the exact same thing until almost two years ago when she contacted me," Tobias says. "Marcus lied to me, and all of Abnegation for that matter, when he said she died in childbirth. She chose to leave us and Abnegation and became factionless to get away from Marcus, and she gave the baby up for adoption." My parents look stunned. They obviously didn't know about Marcus' deception.

"I guess after what we've learned about Marcus we shouldn't be that surprised," Dad says. "Why is it you two have your brother, Four?" We both look at each other. I didn't think we were going to get into this subject right away but I guess I was wrong. Tobias picks up Tyler and whispers something in his ear and Tyler gets off the couch and sits at our feet, playing with his trucks. I scoot closer to Tobias, and he takes my trembling hand in his.

"We have some news for you," I say, "and we wanted to tell you in a more appropriate manner than we told you about our engagement. We're still very sorry about that." My parents exchange a look I'm unfamiliar with.

"This all started when I took Tris to meet Evelyn," Tobias says. Immediately the expression on my dad's face changes. "There's no easy way to tell you what happened, so I'm just going to come out and say it. My mom is pregnant again. Since she's factionless, she doesn't think she can handle raising another child and after giving up my other sister for adoption years ago, she can't handle the thought of not knowing where another child is. Her intention when she asked me to meet her was to request that I adopt my baby sister and raise her as my own. She obviously didn't know about my relationship with Tris. After several lengthy discussions, a lot of thinking, and a very long night talking about our fears and our concerns, Tris and I _together_ decided to go through with the adoption."

"Six weeks ago we got a phone call from the hospital in town," I say, continuing the story not giving my parents a chance to comment yet. "Evelyn was admitted to the hospital with dangerous complications, something the doctors called severe preeclampsia. She's still in the hospital and will be for some time. We were given temporary custody of Tyler until she can have the baby and get out of the hospital." Hearing his name, Tyler looks up at me, smiles, and gives me a little wave. I wave back at him.

"I know a little about adoption laws in our city because of my role on the council," my dad sternly says. "So let me see if I'm getting this right. You're getting married, at a very young age I might add, so you can adopt Four's mother's baby. Is this correct?"

"No," I gruffly say, shaking my head at him. "The adoption is not the only reason why we're getting married. It isn't even the _main_ reason why we're doing it. We are getting married because we love each other and neither one of us can picture what our life would be like without the other. I thought you accepted the fact we are getting married?" My hormones take a drastic left-hand turn and tears flood my eyes. Tobias takes note and puts his arm around me, pulls me close, and rubs his hand gently up and down my arm.

"We do accept your decision to get married," my mom says. "But if we are being totally honest, we don't agree with your choice. I know this seems to go against what I said when I found out but your father and I have been talking about this a lot. You are both so young, and I know you are in love with each other but it makes a little bit more sense why you are rushing into this because of your announcement. Your father thought you got engaged because you were pregnant." Irritation creeps up on me, erasing the tears. Why would he automatically think that? I feel Tobias' eyes on me, and I look at him. We stare at each other for a moment. I swear I can hear him thinking I need to just tell them our other news now.

"Actually ... I am … pregnant," I say looking only at Mom. I'm not ready for Dad's reaction just yet. Her eyes widen drastically, and she drags a sharp breath in through her slack jaw. I wonder if she thinks I lied to her in December when I told her we were being careful and protecting ourselves. "We just found out this morning. I would like to tell you how it happened." She looks at me incredulously, and I spring up off the couch. "That's not what I meant and you know it." I take a long, cleansing breath, trying to calm my runaway emotions. I don't have time for them right now. I look down at Tyler and see he's playing with his trucks like he's the only one in the room, not letting my outburst bother him then look at my parents. "You both already know I was given truth serum while we were at Candor for the interrogations and was able to lie. You were there." They both tightly nod their heads at me. "I've also been 100% aware under any simulation I've ever been under." I turn my head and look toward Tyler again and his innocence motivates me to continue my story.

"The night of the masquerade ball, Cameron Wright dressed in an outfit identical to Four's and gave me a glass of sparkling cider. I drank it before I realized it came from Cameron and not Four. It was irresponsible of me not to check who it was that handed me the drink. He wasn't lying or mistaken in his interrogation when he said he gave me death serum," I say. "He really thought he had killed me."

"Oh ... my ... God," my dad slowly says, shock and fear clear on his face. Tears fill my mom's eyes but she doesn't say anything.

"I was able to fight off its effects and make a full recovery," I say. I turn toward the fireplace and think about this morning. "I've been exhausted for the past few weeks, and this morning, I passed out while Four was in the shower. He immediately rushed me down to the infirmary to have Dr. Parrish examine me. I hate to admit it but I honestly thought the death serum was lingering in my system, taking its time, killing me slowly." I turn back around and face my family. "I told Dr. Parrish what my symptoms were. Unbeknownst to me, he ordered a pregnancy test, and it came back positive. I didn't believe it at first. This isn't easy to admit to both of you, but I went to the clinic in town months ago and had the birth control shot. I was doing the responsible thing but the death serum erased our birth control's protection. We didn't know. Dr. Parrish didn't catch it. I'm six weeks pregnant. I'm due on October 9." There's a mixture of disappointment and happiness in my mom's eyes. My dad is glaring at Tobias.

"You know this isn't Four's fault right, Dad," I say. He drags his hard eyes to mine and they soften only marginally.

"I would love nothing more than to kick _Tobias_ out of my house right now and lock you, young lady, upstairs away from him for the rest of your life but I know that is unrealistic. You would both fight to your last breaths to get back to one another," Dad says, exhaling dramatically. "I don't think I would be a good father if I were to just pat you both on the shoulder and say congratulations though. I need to try and make you both see what it is you are doing to your young lives. I know you both think what you have is true love, and when I look at the two of you, I often think that is the case. But what if it is just a passing fancy? Beatrice, what if you meet someone else a year or two from now and realize _he_ is the love of your life and you're already tied down with two _or_ _more_ kids. Four, what if a girl jumps into the net on the next Choosing Day who catches your eye and you are already married with a baby and one on the way. Would you leave my daughter heartbroken and the mother of two at 17 years old?

"If you two won't think about what you are doing to each other, think about the innocent lives you are bringing into the world and will be responsible for for the rest of your lives. They deserve two parents who love each other more than anything and are 100% committed to one another. Can you say, right now, without a doubt that there will never be someone else or there will never come a time when you think twice about each other? If you have even an ounce of doubt, you need to think twice about your plans."

"How could you ask us that?" I say, indignant. "Dad, I appreciate your concern but I will _never_ love anyone but Tobias. I have _zero_ doubt about that. I also have zero doubt that _he_ feels the exact same way about me."

"I know you're angry with me right now for getting her pregnant, Andrew," Tobias says, "but don't ever think there will be anyone for me except for Beatrice. After I helped her out of the net on Choosing Day I knew my life had changed forever. _She_ has changed me. Before I met her, I didn't think I was capable of love and that I wasn't worthy of receiving it. Why would I throw away everything we have built for something ... insignificant? I _never_ would, and to be honest, I'm insulted you think so lowly of me that you think I would be so easily persuaded by some pretty face. No one has ever turned my head but Tris. I am head over heels in love with your daughter. I have been for almost as long as I've known her. I love everything about her ... her spirit, her mind, her feistiness, her drive, her capacity to love, her honesty, her beauty inside and out. But what I love most about her is that I get to be me ... _Tobias_ when I'm with her. And for some odd reason, which I cannot fathom, she loves me just as much as I love her. I will _never_ do anything to jeopardize our family. I love her dearly, and I will love our children just as much. There is nothing else I can say to convince you."

"Dad, I love him. I'm going to marry him. I'm going to adopt his sister, who I already love just as much as I love him, and I'm going to have his baby. I know this isn't the life you would have chosen for me but lucky for me and Tobias this is the life _we_ choose to live," I say with a sigh. "I want you to be happy for us but if you're not, if you can't accept our decisions, I understand and this will be the last you will see of us on a personal level. I don't want this to sound like an ultimatum because it's not but I have to do what's best for me and my family just like you think what you just said is best for your family. I will not allow my children to be around anyone who thinks their father would abandon them the way he was abandoned as a child. You never thought of that during your speech, did you?" The room is silent except for the little truck sounds Tyler is making.

"Beatrice," my mom finally says. Tobias and I both look her way. "I agree with everything your father just said. I really do. I'm your mother, I love you so very much, and I worry about you each and every day. You are _so_ young ... but I also know you are bullheaded enough to know what you want and strong enough to make it work. I have no doubts about that. This is the last time you will hear anything about this subject from your father or me. I can't stand the thought of not seeing you anymore and not knowing my grandchildren." I look at Dad. He has a resigned look on his face. I imagine they've talked about this subject quite a lot before we confirmed their suspicions.

"Thank you," I say. "Please tell me you are at least a little bit happy for us."

"Of course we are," my mom says. "How can we not? We're going to be grandparents. That is very exciting news." I study my mom's face, and I find no deception in her kind eyes and warm smile. I look toward my dad.

"I am happy for you, too, Beatrice," he says with a contented smile on his face. I see no deception in his face either. "You know what you want out of your life and you're already living your dream. Not many couples twice your age can say that, so yes, I am happy for you. Please don't think that my warnings were anything but me showing concern and love for you. I'm happy for you also, Four. You are a good man. I know that. I harbor no ill will or bad feelings for you. You deserve to be happy. I know you will be a good husband and a good father and will take care of Beatrice and the children. And I am sorry for implying you might leave them one day. I know enough of your background to know that will never happen." I look at Tobias with happy tears in my eyes and can't help but give him a little kiss right here in front of my parents. Then I get up and give each of them a big hug. Soon the aroma of chicken, vegetables, and homemade bread are wafting throughout the house. This catches everyone's attention, especially Tyler's.

"Hungwy, Twis," he says to me. I hold my arms out to him, and he climbs up into them and snuggles into me.

"Lunch is almost ready, Tyler," I say, holding him close to me.

"It amazes me how much he looks like the two of you," my mom says. "Seeing him was shocking to say the least."

"Tris and I have commented on that," Tobias says, smiling at the boy who is snuggled against my chest. "More than likely any child of ours will look something like Tyler here."

"What about his father?" my dad says hesitantly. "Where is he at?"

"Here in Abnegation apparently," Tobias says. "We still don't know who he is."

"Evelyn has promised a meeting but he isn't cooperating very well," I say. I look at Tobias and he shrugs knowing what I want to add. "He's married." My mom gasps then stares intently at Tyler.

"What is it, Mom?" I ask. She sits in her chair shaking her head for a long time then abruptly gets up and heads into the kitchen. We all look at one another, confusion crossing every face. Dad goes to get up from his worn recliner but I stop him.

"I'll check on her if that's okay," I say and he nods. Tobias takes Tyler out of my arms, and I get up off the couch and follow Mom into the kitchen. She must have heard me say I was following her.

"I think I know who Tyler's father is, Beatrice," my mom says never once taking her eyes off our supper, which she just took out of the oven. "You know him."


	7. Chapter 7

"What do you mean you think you know who Tyler's father is and that I know him?" I ask my mom. She is concentrating on the large blue and gray specked roasting pan she just took out of the oven and refuses to turn and look at me. "Mom!" She finally puts down the large carving knife and fork set and turns my way. She leans up against the counter. I see conflict in her pale green eyes.

"I shouldn't speculate, Beatrice," she quietly says. "That would be incredibly selfish of me. What if I'm wrong? Just speaking his name could destroy a very happy marriage ... from what I've seen over the past 10 years." I look over my shoulder and note we are still alone.

"You know about her affair, don't you?" I whisper. The look on her face tells me she knows exactly what I'm talking about. "You do. Just so you know, Evelyn told Four and me that the same man is all three children's father. Do you know who it is? Can you help us? Without him, the adoption can't go through." She is silent for a long time.

"I was at a council meeting dinner with your father at a neighbor's house when I walked in on them having sex in the upstairs bathroom about a year before Evelyn died ... um, left. I've never been as mortified in my life as I was in that moment," my mom says, blushing slightly. "She was with Ethan Black." _Mr_. _Black_ ... Susan and Robert's father? Yes ... I can see why my mom would think he could be Tyler's father. They have similar colored eyes, and Tyler also has wavy hair just like his, although Mr. Black has dark blonde hair similar to Robert and Susan's color. "Shortly after Evelyn passed away, Ethan came to me and begged me never to say anything about what I had walked in on. I didn't want to be selfish and disrupt his marriage, especially with her gone, so I never said a word to Ellie about what I witnessed. Now I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do."

I find it so hard to believe I lived in a neighborhood for 16 years full of such scandal, and I never knew anything about it. Even though Abnegation members are supposed to be selfless, I guess others have as hard of a time with it as I did. I shouldn't judge though. Evelyn's home life was pure hell, but what I can remember of Robert and Susan's parents, they seemed genuinely happy. Marcus knew how to fool people. I wonder if Ethan is the same way. No ... he can't be. There is no way that Evelyn would have an affair for one minute let alone more than 10 years with a man who is anything at all like Marcus Eaton.

"I don't know what to do with this information, Mom," I say with a sigh. "If he is in fact the baby's father, Four and I need him to sign his parental rights away so there's absolutely no possibility of the baby being taken away from us but if he's not, I would hate to knock on his door and accuse him. No, I couldn't do that." Mom turns her attention back to lunch and, after some pleading, she relents and lets me help her. I get the plates, silverware, and napkins out for each of us and routinely set the table remembering the thousands of times I did the exact same thing while growing up in this house.

"Four mentioned fears," Mom softly says, pulling me back to the present. "Is that your fear, someone will take the child away from you?"

"Yes," I say. "I didn't even know I had that fear before I went into my fear landscape. It was agonizing having to hand my little girl back to Evelyn and the faceless father after I had been her mother for more than six months. I've had horrible nightmares about it ever since." I don't know why I'm sharing this extremely private information with my mom. I have a hard time thinking about what happened in my fear landscape let alone talking about it.

"I think every parent has a little of that fear instilled in them," Mom says. "I was scared to death that something bad would happen to you or Caleb for months after each of you were born. I can't tell you where the fear came from, and I don't know if I just learned to live with it or if it in fact went away but it got better with time. Being a mother isn't easy, Beatrice." I meet her eyes and give her a hard look.

"You promised you weren't going to try to talk us out of anything anymore," I say.

"I'm not," she says, much more pleasantly than I deserve.

"I'm sorry," I say, regretting my tone.

"I'm just telling you the truth. Raising you and your brother is the hardest thing I ever did in my entire life but it's also the most rewarding," she says gliding her hand down my cheek. "I love you and Caleb, along with your father, more than anything else on this planet."

"I've gotten a small taste of motherhood having Tyler these past few weeks," I say. My mom narrows her eyes at me.

"You love him like he's yours," she says. There's no question in her statement. She knows me so well. "Try not to get too attached to him."

"I know," I say. "I've been trying not to but ... it's _so_ hard. He is just so easy to love." I hear his little feet running our way, and I turn just as he launches himself at me. I easily catch him and pull him close. "Tyler, remember what I said about running in Andrew and Natalie's house." He sticks out his bottom lip and pouts. My mom chuckles under her breath, being careful not to undermine my authority with him.

"I sowwy, Twis," Tyler says, then he gives me a big hug and of course I hug him back.

"You used to make that exact same face when I would scold you for running in the house," Mom says with a grin. I return her warm smile.

"Are you hungry, Tyler," I say, releasing him from the hug. He eagerly bobs his head up and down. "Will you _slowly_ go and get Four and Andrew and tell them lunch is ready." I put him down, and he carefully walks toward the living room. I decide to follow behind him to make sure he delivers the message and that it's comprehensible.

"Fo, lunch weady," he says to his older brother. Tobias looks my direction and I nod.

"Thank you, Tyler," he says. He then scoops up the giggling boy into his arms and carries him into the kitchen. Tobias gives me a quick kiss on his way by and stands off to the side while Mom and I bring the serving bowls and platters to the table. My parents take their normal seats and Tobias sits Tyler on Caleb's old booster seat right next to him, and I sit down on the other side of him across from my mother. My father says grace like he does at every meal then picks up each bowl, serves himself, then passes the food to the left for others to serve themselves just like every day for the past 20 years. The meal and routine are comforting and reminds me of growing up in this loving home. There isn't anything I don't like about it. We slowly eat, savoring the delicious, comforting home cooked meal, chatting about this and that, catching up with one another. I wish we could do this more often. I tend to forget how much I miss my parents until I'm with them.

"I'm sorry, but we're going to have to leave pretty soon," I say to Mom and Dad while we're all in the kitchen cleaning up after the scrumptious, familiar lunch. "Tyler is going to need a nap soon, and I find it easier to get him to sleep in his own bed." My father puts the dishes he's holding in the cupboard then turns to me.

"You already are a mother, aren't you, Beatrice?" he says. My heart constricts at his words. I so want to keep the little boy who is quietly sitting in the corner of the cozy kitchen playing with his fire truck and dump truck.

"It feels like I am," is all I can say. I plunge my hands into the hot dish water and let the routine action move my mind to another subject. I continue with the dishes, meticulously scrubbing away any leftover particles of food until the simple kitchenware my parents have had as long as I can remember is spotless. I feel Tobias' gaze on me, and I glance up at him. I see worry in his dark blue eyes. I've never told him I would love to keep Tyler but something tells me he knows what I'm thinking.

Once we finish in the kitchen, my mom goes to the small coat closet in the corner of the hallway by the front door and takes out each of our coats. Tobias puts his spring leather jacket on while I'm helping Tyler into his then he holds mine out, and I shrug into it. I give a long lingering hug to my mom then kiss her cheek. I give my dad a quick hug and kiss while Tobias kisses my mom's cheek then he shakes my dad's hand. Tyler wants in on the goodbyes and gives each of my parents a hug as well as a sloppy kiss on the cheek. They seem to be just as taken with him as everyone we've introduced him to. He is a very special child.

We walk out into the chilly February afternoon, the wind billowing around us causing the remnants of last fall's dead leaves to swirl dramatically around our feet. We aren't two steps out of my parent's house when I notice the familiar form casually leaning up against the body of our sleek, black car. Automatically my spirits fall and my heart starts pounding in my chest. This is the first time I've seen him since our altercation in my father's office, which led to his warranted dismissal from the council.

"Marcus," Tobias says, no inflection in his voice at all. "What are you doing here?" I know he would rather scale the outside of the 100-story Hancock building then go ziplining without being buckled into the safety harness than be here right now talking to the man who treated him so abysmally growing up.

"Tobias, it's nice to see you," Marcus says, oozing fake charm. What is he up to now? "When I saw this car, I figured you must be visiting my old friends, the Priors. I hope everything is okay. I thought I would wait for you and see if we could talk." I narrow my eyes at him but he doesn't look my way. I decide to heed Tobias' warnings for once and let him take care of this unwanted situation with his father, so I let my face smooth out.

"Tris and I really have to be going. We need to get Tyler home for his nap." When Marcus examines the small boy who has himself wrapped tightly around my left leg, his eyes nearly pop out of his head. He looks from Tobias to me and back to Tyler. He obviously sees the strong family resemblance. "Wondering who this is? Why don't you ask _Evelyn_?" At the mention of his supposedly dead wife, Marcus pales radically. "Yeah, I know she's alive. I know she left us. I know the baby didn't die, she gave her up for adoption." He runs his fingers through his curls and sighs. "Why didn't you just tell me the truth? Why did you have to tell me she died? You let me mourn for years someone who is still alive. I thought the beatings I suffered at your hands were the worst thing you could have put me through but they were nothing compared to the betrayal of finding out you lied. I shouldn't be surprised though. It isn't much of a stretch to think that anyone who would treat their family the way you treated yours would tell a bold faced lie just to gain sympathy from those around them. Like I said, Tris and I have to be going." Tobias takes my hand and leads me down the walkway. I reach down and take Tyler's hand in mine after extracting him from my leg, and we all move down the sidewalk toward our car. I for one am hoping that Marcus will just go home but he doesn't budge. When I look his direction, he's finally moved his eyes to meet mine, and I see a burning hatred radiating directly toward me. I hold my head up high, don't shrink back, and try not to show any emotion whatsoever. He doesn't deserve my reaction. Hell, he doesn't even deserve my thoughts. For some reason, he blames _me_ for all his problems and, remarkably, he also blames me for how Tobias feels about him.

"Don't you dare look at her like that," Tobias says in a deceptively calm voice.

"Why shouldn't I," Marcus says, raising his voice. He pushes himself away from the car and stares, pointing directly at me. "You took away my one and only son. One day, I'm going to make you pay. You won't see it coming but you will know I'm responsible. Remember that." He thankfully tears his eyes away from mine and looks at Tobias. "You had a chance today to reconcile with me but you chose _her_. Anything that happens to this little ... _whore_ is on your head." My father storms down the sidewalk but Tobias reaches out and stops him.

"He isn't worth it, Andrew," Tobias says, stopping him. "Marcus, I would appreciate it if you would stop calling the woman I love vile names. You don't know her, and you are so off base. Why would you think she took me away from you? Even though we grew up houses apart, it took us both leaving Abnegation to find each other. She has nothing to do with why I don't love you. Also, if you as much as touch one hair on Tris' head, I _will_ kill you. There isn't a person who could or would stop me, and I won't hesitate, and I won't feel a thing except maybe justice. _You_ best remember _that_." His father shakes his head at him then stalks off in the direction of his house. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and pick Tyler up so I have something comforting in my arms. Even though he is entirely too young to understand the exchange he just witnessed, he can feel the tension. He clings to me, comforting me, and I hold him just as tight. We turn to my parents.

"I am so sorry about my father, Andrew and Natalie, and the terrible things he says. I'm sorry I made a scene. I really wish you didn't have to witness that. I wish he didn't garner such a reaction from me but he always seems to," Tobias quietly says. "Tris, Tyler, and I had a very nice time this afternoon but we really do have to get back to Dauntless."

"We hope to be able to stop by again before the wedding," I say. "April 6. It's a Wednesday. Don't forget. Christina and I will be making the final plans this week so expect an invitation in the next week or so. I love you."

"It isn't your fault about that man," my mom says, putting her hand on Tobias' shoulder. "You don't ever need to apologize for _his_ behavior. Hopefully, one day, he will do that for himself but I won't hold my breath. You take care of yourself and you take care of my girl. Beatrice, honey, we love you very much. We love you, too, Four. It was very nice to meet you Tyler. I hope we get to see each other again soon."

After another round of hugs and kisses, we turn and walk to our car. I manage to get Tyler into his car seat then get into the passenger seat and buckle up. We all wave to my parents, who are standing side-by-side in the doorway of their comfortable home waving as the car pulls away from the curb. Before I know it, we are heading out of the Abnegation sector.

"I am _so_ sorry for how my father treats you, Tris," Tobias says nearly inaudibly. "You don't deserve it. I don't know why he insists on blaming you for everything that goes wrong in his life."

"I'm the one who's sorry," I say but he quickly cuts me off. I let out a loud sigh.

" _None_ of this is your fault," he stubbornly says. "It's his. 100%. He shouldn't blame you, and _I_ never should have blamed you either. I was wrong."

"You didn't blame me, Tobias, you warned me about him, and I didn't listen. I understand now why you did it and why you got angry when I didn't listen," I say. "I egged him on until he apparently lost his grip on reality. It _is_ partially my fault. I didn't know when to stop and now he wants revenge against me." It's a good thing my hormones were in check when Marcus turned his verbal assault my way today or I might have scratched his eyes out or broke down in tears. It's a tossup how I react to a situation these days.

I stare absent-mindedly out the tinted window of the car as Tobias tries to argue with me but I just tune him out and think about how I could have made the situation better today. I could have encouraged him to take the time to talk to his father. I know how Tobias feels about Marcus but I can't help but wonder if there will ever come a day when they can be in the same room with each other without another full-fledged war starting. We come around a bend in the road, and I see a very familiar-looking older gentleman dressed in Abnegation gray on the side of the road standing next to a stalled light gray sedan.

"That's Ethan Black," I say, not believing my eyes. "Please pull over." Tobias gives me a suspicious look but pulls over to the side of the road behind the stalled car. I turn around and see that Tyler has already fallen asleep even though we've only been in the car for about three minutes so I think it's safe to leave him. Tobias and I get out and approach Mr. Black, who is bending over the engine. I make sure Tyler and his car seat is within my line of sight at all times.

"I was wondering if you two would stop," Mr. Black says as we approach, taking us both by surprise. "I didn't know how else to approach you, especially here in Abnegation. I need to talk to you about the baby."


	8. Chapter 8

I feel Tobias stiffen beside me, and he once again gives me a suspicious look. I realize I never got the chance to tell him about my mother's suspicions and revelations in the kitchen before lunch earlier today. So Ethan Black, my friends Susan and Robert's married father, is in fact the biological father of the baby I am about to adopt with Tobias. That means he's Tyler's father as well. My mom was right. Although their hair color doesn't match at all, I notice Mr. Black's curls match Tyler's perfectly.

"You're the baby's father," Tobias says, once again sounding more like Four, putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

"Yes, I am," Mr. Black quietly says, straightening himself up from the engine. I hadn't exaggerated his eye color in my memory. They match Tyler's exactly. "I love your mother very much, Tobias. I'm sorry she's going through what she is because of me."

" _Four_ ," Tobias hisses with a scowl on his beautiful face. "My name is Four."

"I'm sorry ... Four," he says, confused like most people when they first hear his usual nickname. "Your mother and father have always called you Tobias. I'm afraid I didn't know you went by a new name. My sincerest apologies." I can see anger quickly spreading through Tobias. He slowly balls his hands up into fists. I decide to intervene.

"Mr. Black, we need you to sign some paperwork with regard to the adoption as soon as you can," I say, cutting to the chase. "It's of the utmost importance."

"Evelyn told me about the documents you need me to sign," he says. "I'm okay with that. I'll sign anything you want me to. I'm very sorry I haven't been able to get in touch with you before now. I didn't have any business outside of Abnegation, and I've only been able to sneak off to the hospital twice to see Evelyn. When I saw you two pull up outside your parent's home, Beatrice, I thought this was my chance to speak with you."

"If you love my mother as much as you claim to, why are you not taking responsibility for these children you've created with her?" Tobias says spitefully. "Don't you care for them at all, especially Tyler? You let him live factionless. I could never do that to my son."

"Even though I love Evelyn with all my heart, and I do, my wife would never understand," Mr. Black says, holding his head high. I can tell that he doesn't like being criticized. "You may not believe this, Four, but I love Ellie, too. I would never want to do anything to jeopardize my relationship with her, jeopardize my family, or jeopardize my home." I think I've just met the most selfish person in Abnegation if not the planet. He wants his cake, and he wants to eat it too.

"We don't have the documents with us," I say, trying to steer the conversation back to its intended purpose, the baby. "Four and I go to the hospital almost every day to see Evelyn and check on the baby's condition. Pick a day and time, and we'll be there." He thinks about this proposal for a little bit, his eyes nervously scanning our surroundings. I look around but there isn't anyone around to witness this meeting, except for the three, well four of us, if you count Tyler. I check and see he's still fast asleep in the car.

"I have business in town on Wednesday. I could meet you in Evelyn's room at ... 4:00 p.m. Is that okay?" I look into Tobias' hard eyes and they soften drastically. He takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to Mr. Black.

"Yes, Mr. Black," he says. "That would be great. Tris and I will be there at 4:00 p.m. but we won't be able to stay long. We have some business back at the compound at 5:30 p.m." _Business? What business,_ I think to myself. I almost ask the question out loud when I realize that's what time one of us leaves the Pire and goes to the Pit to pick up Tyler from daycare on work days since they close their doors at 6:00 p.m.

"Very well," Mr. Black says, respectfully bowing his head in our direction. Then he slams the hood of his car down.

"I take it you're not really having car trouble?" I say.

"I was hoping it would get you to stop," he says.

"It wouldn't have if Tris hadn't told me to stop," Tobias says.

"I had a conversation with my mom earlier today," I say, looking directly into Mr. Black's light bluish-gray eyes, which eerily look like mine. "She wishes now she wouldn't have kept your secret for all these years. That's how I knew to stop or I wouldn't have paid any attention either, and we would have driven right past you." He goes very pale. He knows exactly what I'm talking about. I can tell by Tobias' heated gaze that he's very much interested in my conversation with my mom.

"Wednesday, 4:00 p.m., Evelyn's hospital room," Tobias says before he puts his hand on the small of my back and gently leads me back to our car. I note that Tyler is still sound asleep and relief washes over me before I get in my side of the car. I close my door as quietly as I can but Tobias slams his in frustrated irritation. It doesn't bother Tyler but I give him a frown, and he mouths "sorry" to me. When we pull away from the curb I can feel his eyes on me.

"When I said that the baby's father was still living in Abnegation and was married Mom looked closely at Tyler and saw Ethan Black," I say, unable to meet his gaze. "Apparently, she walked in on the two of them ... in a _very_ compromising position at a business dinner in the neighborhood. After your mother's ... funeral ... he came to my mom and begged her never to say anything to Ellie. She did as he asked because she thought your mom was gone but now she regrets agreeing to it. I swear I've never seen a more selfish man than him in my entire life." I turn to look up at him, and he gives me a little smile.

"I can't help but agree with you on that," he says with a sigh. "I'll feel better after Wednesday has come and gone and we have his signature on the forms. How about you?"

"It will take a lot of stress off me," I say.

"Yeah, you don't need extra stress right now," he says reaching out and taking my hand in his. "I have to ask you something." I look into his penetrating, curious, and somewhat concerned eyes.

"Okay."

"What is going on in that pretty head of yours about Tyler?" he asks, looking at the sleeping boy in the rearview mirror. I bow my head in shame then look out my passenger window. "Tris?"

"I don't want to give him back to Evelyn," I finally say out loud to him. "What kind of a life can she offer him?" Guilt tightens my chest. I know what I'm saying is awful. He is quiet for a very long time.

"I don't either," he finally says. My head snaps in his direction, and I study his face. He is being completely serious right now.

"That just makes it worse, Tobias," I say. He looks into my eyes. "We have to give him back to her. I know that. But I have a feeling I'm going to live my worse fear when we do. I don't know how I'm going to be able to function. I know I'll have the baby to look after but she can't replace him." My words trail off. He reaches out and takes my hand in his. We lace our fingers together.

"I'm sorry. Maybe we shouldn't have brought him into our home," he says.

"There is _no_ way that we could have foreseen feeling for him the way we do," I say. "At first he was just your little brother but somewhere along the way ... he started feeling like my son." My words are barely above a whisper when I finish.

"I know. I've had the same thoughts and the same feelings." He brings our joined hands up to his lips. He kisses me gently. "We'll get through it when the time comes. I promise. Should we tell our friends about the baby?" Tobias asks after we have both been silent for a long time. I look into his eyes, which are bright and shining now and can see the news about our baby has made him extremely happy. I want to do anything in my power to please him but something I read once comes back to me.

"I think it's a little soon," I say. "Don't you? Maybe we should wait until I'm 12 weeks along. When I thumbed through the pamphlet Isobel gave Christina when she found out she was pregnant I think it said it was best to wait until the end of the first trimester to tell people."

"Okay, I understand. That sounds good to me," he says. "What do you think of telling them our news at the wedding or wedding rehearsal?"

"I would be okay with telling everyone at the wedding rehearsal," I say. "Actually that sounds like a great time to do it. I might have to tell Christina a little early because she's been working on me to do a champagne toast. I keep telling her that no one will know if I'm drinking sparkling cider except for me but she keeps insisting. Now I really can't drink." For some reason that makes me very happy.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" he asks in his scary Four voice, which makes me giggle a little. He is so protective of me.

"No, _Four_ ," I say with a chuckle. He slightly narrows his beautiful eyes at me but I just smile brightly at him. I know he doesn't really like me calling him Four unless it is absolutely necessary. I lean over and lightly brush my lips against his and his frown disappears. "Now watch the road please, Tobias. You have a lot of precious cargo in this car." He laughs that deep belly laugh I love so much.

"Speaking of names, now that we know who the baby's father is and he's going to sign away his parental rights, can we start thinking about names for our daughter?" I meet his radiant smile with one of my own. This is the one argument, well except for the toilet seat nonsense and knife throwing, we've had the past six weeks. He wanted to decide on a name, and I didn't want to name her if there was any possibility of the adoption not going through. I nod my head a little at him.

"I will consider a conversation about baby names," I say. "What kind of names do you like? Traditional names like Rebecca, Abigail, or Sarah; popular names like Sophia, Emma, or Olivia; or unusual names like Rhian, Zola, or Greer. Do you have any ideas?" He stares open mouth at me. I furrow my eyes in confusion at him. Why is he looking at me like that? "What?"

"You've been thinking about this for a while haven't you?" he asks, a tinge of hurt in his voice. "And you gave me so much shit about wanting to pick a name."

"Don't be mad but it's kind of hard to know there's a baby's on the way and _not_ think of names every once in a while," I say to him, giving him my best pout. He sighs.

"I'm not angry. Not one bit," he says with a little chuckle. "I know it may seem odd but I like traditional names and the more unusual names. I mean look at me, I go by Four." That makes me smile. "I don't want our kids to have similar names to any of the other kids in their initiation classes. Make sense?"

"Yeah," I say. "I agree by the way. No popular names."

"I have an idea, just tell me what you think," he says hesitantly. "Your name is Tris. My name is Tobias. What if we picked a name that started with a T?"

"One problem though," I say. "My name is Beatrice. My parents and brother call me that. _You_ call me that sometimes. And you just said it yourself, you go by Four in public." I think back to the many times when Beatrice Grace rolled off his lips, and I can't help but smile. I wouldn't want that to stop. He furrows his eyebrows. I know he is thinking really hard about something.

"Okay, I see two solutions," he says, pulling into the underground garage that houses the various cars owned by Dauntless. He shuts off the engine and looks at me with now smoldering eyes. "The first is all boy names would start with a T and all girl names would start with a B, _or_ we could pick out our favorite names that start with both B and T and whichever one we decide on will dictate future children's names."

"Let me get this straight, if we pick a T name for our daughter then all future children, including this one," I say rubbing my flat tummy, "will have T names? And if for some weird reason we name our first daughter, let's say, Beatrice Jr. then future daughters would start with the letter B and any boys would start with the letter T. Am I getting this right?" I ask, turning in my seat to run my hand down his chest.

"I'm all for a little Beatrice running around if that's the direction you want to go," he says leaning his body toward mine after taking his seatbelt off. "And four of our five boys can all be named after me. Tobias Jr, Tobias II, Tobias..." He puts his smiling lips on mine effectively ending the conversation and pulls me in close for a heated kiss. He eagerly pushes his tongue into my waiting mouth when I hear a little giggle. I break away from Tobias, and we both turn toward the sound of the laughter.

"Ew, kissy," Tyler says with a huge grin on his face.

"You think it's gross when Four gives me a kiss?" I say in a sing-song voice. "How about when I give _you_ kisses?" I lean into the backseat and put kisses all over the toddlers face. He's thrashing his head back and forth but not hard enough to hurt me. I retreat back into my seat, and he's laughing like a crazy little person. I can feel Tobias' silent laughter beside me shaking the parked car.

"I think it's time for supper," Tobias says when he finds his voice. "How about we go to the cafeteria and see our friends?"

"Ooh! What do you think, Tyler?" I say. "You want to go to the cafeteria and see all our friends? I'm game, that way I don't have to clean up the kitchen tonight."

"Zeke? Wiah? Lynn? Chwissy?" he asks with a hopeful expression on his face.

"Yeah, and all our other friends, too. Everyone will be there." He nods his head up and down and starts bouncing up and down wanting out. I tell him to calm down then get out of the car so I can free him from his car seat. He climbs out, over the seat, and practically scales me so that I'm holding him in my arms. We are about half way to the cafeteria when fatigue starts to drag me down, and I try to hand Tyler off to Tobias. He doesn't want to let me go until Tobias offers a ride on his shoulders. Now Tyler doesn't care if I come with them or not to supper! I can only laugh at the little stinker.

"You okay?" Tobias quietly asks as we continue toward the cafeteria. I reach out and touch his hand, which is securely holding on to Tyler's foot.

"Just tired," I say. "You know, I'm thankful I know the cause for the fatigue. My imagination was starting to run away with me."

"I for one am glad nothing's wrong with you," he says. I bump my hip into his leg and he laughs lightheartedly. We turn into the cafeteria and Tobias puts Tyler on the ground. Immediately he takes off like a bullet for our regular table, leaving Tobias and me behind. We hear choruses of hellos welcome him before we get half way across the room. Tobias and I smile at each other.

"Uriah, so help me," I say, "if you give him cake before he's had supper I'm going to beat your ... butt." The whole table erupts with laughter. Luckily I remember my language before Tyler can go around all night telling everyone he's going to beat their ass. He's done it before. I'm sure he'll do it again. He's a little magpie.

"Come on, Tris," Uriah says. "Let the kid live a little."

"Uriah," Tobias says.

"Fine," he says. Ugh! Not even my friends take me seriously. I'm confident I could take Uriah easily.

"Come here, Tyler," I say after I get him a plate with cut up hamburger with ketchup to dip it in, mac and cheese, green beans, applesauce, and a handful of fries. He eats every bite so we let him go sit with Uriah and have a sliver of chocolate cake.

"If he's bouncing off the walls when it's his bedtime, I'm bringing him to you, Uriah," I say.

"That's okay isn't it, Mar?" he asks. Her eyes widen, and she starts shaking her head back and forth.

"You know, Uri," Lynn says, "the only reason the kid likes you is because you feed him cake every time he sees you." Everyone laughs except for Uriah.

"You like me, don't you, kiddo?" he asks. Tyler smiles around the huge bite of cake in his mouth and bobs his little head up and down. This brings even louder laughter. "Marlene and I finally got settled into our new apartment. Thank you so much Four, Tris. Candor or Dauntless Friday night, 8:00 p.m. Everyone is expected to be there, _no_ exceptions."

"We can't be there," Tobias says.

"Bring Tyler. He can sleep upstairs while we play," Marlene says. Tobias and I set Uriah and Marlene up in a newly renovated apartment close to the Pit that has an upstairs loft.

"Yeah," Zeke says. "Everyone needs a fun night. Just bring Tyler with you if you don't want to get a babysitter." Tobias and I look at each other for a while.

"I'm not making any promises but Tris and I will talk about it," Tobias says, eliciting nothing but moans and groans from our friends.

"We'll think about it," I repeat. Tobias puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close then kisses my forehead.

"Shall we go home?" he whispers in my ear. I nod my head at him.

"I need you either tomorrow or Tuesday night, Tris," Christina says when we are getting ready to leave.

"Why?" I ask. "I thought we had plans later in the week?"

She leans in close and says, "Your dress is in, and you need to have a fitting as soon as possible."

"Oh, okay," I say. As excited as I am to become Tobias' wife, I think Christina is more excited for my wedding and reception. "I'm free Tuesday night. Four and I are going to the hospital tomorrow night."

"Okay, Tuesday after supper then," she says with a quick hug. "You'll have to tell me about your talk with your parents."

"Yeah, we'll talk then," I say. "Come on, Tyler. You've had enough cake now." He gives me a pouty little look that I swear he picked up from me over the past six weeks.

"Tyler," Tobias says firmly, and he lowers his head, jumps down off the bench, and comes to me. I hold my hand out, and he reaches up and places his hand in mine.

"Shall we go home now?" He raises his eyes to mine and smiles sweetly. We all say goodnight to our friends and tell them we will see them later.

We all slowly walk hand-in-hand with Tyler in the middle up to our apartment in the Pire. We aren't in the apartment two minutes when he brings me the movie _Cars_. I sigh but immediately put it in the DVD player then sit down on the couch and cuddle into Tobias' side. He puts his arm around me and pulls me even closer. Tyler sits on the floor in front of us, the movie absorbing his entire attention. The monotony of the animation has my eyes fluttering within minutes, and I fall asleep huddled close to the man I love.


	9. Chapter 9

My heavy eyelids fight to open but I'm not quite ready to wake up just yet. Even though I fell asleep early last night, I can still feel fatigue weighing my body down. Finally, after several minutes of fighting with myself, I relent and open my eyes to find myself staring into a pair of perfect, bright, light bluish-gray eyes. His little hands are resting on the edge of the mattress, and he's looking at me expectantly. I've seen him do this with Tobias many times so I know he's standing as tall as he can on the very tips of his toes. I chuckle and pat the extra-large black and blue hand-sewn quilt that's covering Tobias and me. He knows he can't get into bed with us until one of us gives him our permission. He eagerly scrambles up onto the mattress, over me, and wiggles his way between us. I help him get under the warm covers, and he lets out a contented little sigh. I see Tobias' eyes slowly open, and after a split second of confusion, a smile brightens his still sleepy face. We all snuggle closely together like we do most every morning, not saying a word. I for one enjoy this special bonding time we have together but it's taking its toll.

"Good morning, Tyler," Tobias and I both say with a chuckle at the same time after a few minutes. I glance at the clock, already knowing what it's going to say: 5:00 a.m. The boy is nothing if not predictable.

"I think I have another reason for being so tired," I say with a big yawn, turning so I can look in Tobias' drowsy eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I love our little morning ritual but 5:00 a.m. is kind of killing me right now."

"I'm sorry," he quietly says. "Do you want me to take him back to his room so you can get some more sleep?"

"I hate to kick you out of bed. It makes me feel like I'm being selfish. This is your bed too," I say, running my hand through his curly locks. I think it's about time for another trim.

"Tris, love, this won't last forever," he says. "You're pregnant. You are _not_ being selfish. If you want anything, ask, and I'll do my very best to make it happen."

"No. I don't want you to leave," I say, reaching out and holding the hand he has laying on his leg. He furrows his eyebrows at me and sighs but doesn't say anything about my refusal. We all cuddle together for about an hour. When Tyler falls back to sleep, Tobias carefully picks him up and carries him back to his own bedroom so I can get some more rest. Tobias uses the bathroom first while I try to go back to sleep but it's too late, I'm already awake so I get up and make the bed. I go to the closet and pick out an outfit more in line with the milder weather we've been having and lay it across the bed. When I turn around, Tobias is coming back into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his hips, drying his hair with another.

"Couldn't fall back to sleep?" he says.

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I tried but I guess I was too awake."

"Are you okay this morning?" he asks, eyeing me.

"I'm fine," I say. "Just a little tired but it isn't too bad. I've had worse. I'm going to take my shower now then I'll get Tyler ready. Can you make us some breakfast?"

"It would be my pleasure," he says gently placing his warm lips on mine. I sigh when we part and head toward the bathroom with the wet towels he places in my hands. I take my time in the shower letting the hot water and invigorating fresh green apple scent of my new body wash, shampoo, and conditioner wake me up further. When I finish, I get dressed, put on my makeup, and dry and style my hair, which is in desperate need of a trim then run a bath for Tyler.

I go into his room and pick out one of the many outfits that Christina bought for him to wear today and wake him up. He follows me into the bathroom, and I help him into the bath. He isn't in the tub very long since we both can smell the pancakes and sausage Tobias is downstairs preparing, and we both decide that we would rather eat than play. I dry him off then dress him in typical Dauntless attire: Black carpenter jeans, a black long-sleeved t-shirt that has a picture of a gray and white motorcycle on the front, and little black combat boots, which are one of the cutest things I've ever seen in my entire life. Since he isn't going outside today, I decide not to put a jacket on him. Tyler and I walk downstairs, and I put him on his chair then sit down beside him at the island just as Tobias finishes with breakfast. He serves us each a plate of delicious smelling food, and we chat about our day.

"What's on the agenda for today?" I ask.

"It's just a routine day, except we have an initiation planning meeting with Uriah and Christina at 10:00 a.m. in the training room," he says. "I think the four of us are properly prepared for the physical part of training but we still have to figure out the details of what we want to teach the initiates."

"You still don't want to teach them knife throwing, do you?" I ask, unclear as to why he feels the way he does about that part of training. He's voiced his opinion to me several times stating he doesn't think it's necessary and that it goes hand in hand with the recklessness of the old Dauntless, but I disagree. Throwing knives makes me feel powerful and in control, which I don't think is bad at all.

"No, I don't," he says, taking a drink of his milk. "That is something the four of us can discuss today. I'll take your opinions into consideration before I make my final decision."

"I think we need to ask Christina if she's going to be able to go through with training the Dauntless born this year. Her due date is only a week of two before Choosing Day," I say.

"I should have thought about that already," he says. "I wonder if Lauren would temporarily fill in until Christina thinks she's ready to start."

"She might not want to do it at all this year with a band new baby, Tobias," I say thinking only about what I would want. I wouldn't want to leave a newborn to deal with a bunch of freaking out teenagers hoping they make it through Dauntless' rigorous initiation process.

"We'll talk about it with her at the meeting," he says. "Once we have her answer, we'll figure out what we need to do."

"Sounds like a plan," I say, getting up from the island with my dirty dishes. I put them in the dishwasher then start cleaning up the kitchen while Tobias and Tyler finish their breakfast. Once they are both done, Tobias volunteers to take Tyler down to the daycare center in the Pit so I don't have to walk all the way there and back and wear myself out. I thank him for his thoughtfulness with a steamy kiss that threatens to lead somewhere it can't go at the moment. He pulls away from me with a groan, and I look up into his desire-filled eyes. I sincerely apologize then give Tyler a kiss goodbye before they leave me to finish cleaning up the kitchen.

When I'm done, I lock the apartment behind me and make my way to my office to work on last week's incident reports. I have paperwork spread across my desk when a flash of navy blue and white catches my attention. I turn my head just in time to see my brother stepping out of a car that just pulled up outside our building. I get up from my desk, step out of my office into the hallway, and go outside to meet him.

"Caleb," I say. "What are you doing here?" He looks up at the sound of his name, and my world tilts for a split second. I've never seen a look on anyone's face like the one on my brother's this instant. He looks like a dead man walking. "What is it, Caleb?" I hold my breath awaiting his answer. I know it isn't going to be good.

"Beatrice," he slowly says, prolonging my agony. "It's Dad." I drag an unsteady breath into my lungs. My heart starts to race painfully in my chest, and I hear my pounding pulse start to sound in my ears. I gradually back up, not exactly sure where I'm going, until my legs hit the ornate black wrought iron bench that sits outside the Dauntless headquarters, and I automatically sit down before my legs give way and I topple to the pavement below.

"W-what happened?" I stutter, meeting his red-rimmed eyes. I can tell he's embarrassed by the fact he's been crying. He shouldn't be, tears are forming behind my eyes, wanting to spill. "Is he okay?" I'm having a hard time concentrating right now. I just saw my dad yesterday. How can something be wrong with him? He _has_ to be okay.

"All I know is Mom found him outside the house early this morning," he says, his voice trembling. "He's been beaten very badly, Beatrice. Mom said she's afraid that if she hadn't found him when she did he would have died. It's that bad."

"Oh, my God!" I say as both my hands fly to my mouth. "Where is he?" I automatically flash back to Asher and Dru's termination list, which had every Prior name on it and wonder if the safety and security of the last six weeks have been a farce and if the lists are still in play. My breath starts coming short and fast thinking of that possibility.

"What's going on here? Caleb?" says the only voice that might calm me in this situation. "Tris, love, what's wrong?" He kneels before me and puts both his hands on my face, cupping my cheeks.

"My Dad," I whisper, looking into his concerned eyes. He freezes, and I look up at Caleb begging with my eyes for more information, _any_ information.

"He's been attacked, Four. It's bad," he says. "He's in the emergency room at the hospital in town being worked on while we speak. Mom sent me to get you and Beatrice." My world is spinning off its axis. I know we need to get to Mom but I can't bring myself to move, and Tobias seems frozen to the ground in front of me. We just spent a very nice day with him and Mom yesterday. Even though he showed concern over the adoption and pregnancy, we worked everything out. He was happy to learn he was going to be a grandfather and wished us well when we left. He didn't deserve this, not at all.

"Can we see him?" I manage to ask Caleb since my flowing tears have nearly robbed me of my voice.

"I'm not sure," he says. "Mom wants us there though. I can drive if you would like. My car is right there." He points at the dark midnight blue sedan at the curb I saw him get out of.

"Yes, thank you," I say. "Four, please come with me." He unfreezes and straightens himself up. He pulls me to my feet and right into his strong arms.

"Of course I'm coming with you, Tris," he says, holding me close, kissing the top of my head. He takes his phone out of his pocket and texts Will and Tori about our emergency and the fact that we'll be at the hospital more than likely for the rest of the day, and then he texts Christina and Uriah postponing our meeting, which is supposed to start in just a few minutes in the training room. "Let's go." I slide into the backseat of the car and am surprised when Tobias slides in next to me leaving Caleb alone in the front seat.

"You didn't have to sit with me," I whisper, not meaning it one bit. I'm glad he's right next to me. I need him more right now than I think I've ever needed him.

"I want to," he says, wrapping me in his arms once again, comforting me. I inhale the scent that can only be described as Tobias and try to calm myself the best I can and not let my thoughts run amuck.

As we pull away from the curb I'm reminded of that terrible day in early January when Tobias and I raced down the snow-covered streets toward the hospital to check on Evelyn and the baby. Now looking out the side window of Caleb's borrowed car, I see green shoots peeking through the typical brown grass of this time of year and early blooming tulips and daffodils in every color of the rainbow lining public walkways because of the unseasonably warm temperatures. But what's so familiar right now is the adrenaline-spiked terror flowing through my veins. What will we find when we get to the hospital? Is he going to be okay, or am I going to lose a parent today?

Tobias holds me close telling me to breathe. He's trying to keep me calm because of the baby. I breathe with him just like I did yesterday morning, in deeply through my nose and out slowly through my mouth. I silently pray, just like I do every day for Evelyn and the baby, asking for my dad to please be okay.

"Mom told me to meet her in the waiting area in the emergency department," Caleb says as we pull up in front of the large hospital. I think he drove faster than Tobias did. It didn't seem like it took any time at all for us to get here. He slams the car to a stop in the last available parking spot alongside the curb, and we all jump out and rush through the large, glass double automatic sliding doors. I see my mom sitting in a row of brown leather armchairs off by herself looking very somber. Caleb and I hurry to her, and when she sees us coming, she stands and takes us into her outstretched arms.

"Beatrice, Caleb," she quietly says, hugging us close and stroking the back of our heads. "My babies. I am _so_ glad you are both here. You, too, Four. You are a part of this family now, also."

"Can you tell us what happened, Natalie? How is Andrew?" Tobias asks taking charge since the rest of us are obviously in shock.

"He went out very early this morning for a business meeting," she says. "I don't know who he was meeting with or where he was going but when I left the house at a little after 7:00 a.m. for my assigned shift at the library I found him lying by our front steps and immediately had him brought here by Ethan Black." Tobias and I both start to ask a question but he lets me go first.

"Was Mr. Black outside when you found him?" I ask, suddenly concerned about his surprising involvement.

"No," Mom says. "I ran to his house since I knew he had immediate access to a car, and he accompanied me back to your father. We loaded him in the backseat and rushed him here."

"How do you know it was a business meeting?" Tobias asks. "Did he tell you that?" Mom is silent for a few minutes, thinking.

"Actually he didn't tell me it was a business meeting, Four," she says, worry on her face. "I just assumed it was. I really don't know why he left so early this morning." Where could he have been going that early in the morning? He never used to leave the house until 7:00 a.m. at the earliest. He has always been such a consistent person, I wonder what would make him change his routine like that.

"Where is he?" Caleb asks, breaking the imposing silence. "Can we see him?"

"He's being taken care of through those double doors right there," she says, pointing to the set of heavy-looking oversized wooden doors not 10 feet away marked with a sign that says no visitors beyond this point. "The doctors are still working to stabilize him." If I didn't know my mother so well, I would think she isn't bothered by this situation at all. I wonder why I don't have her strength.

"Who is looking into what happened?" Tobias asks. "He's the head of the council now. Every faction has a stake in seeing the perpetrator or perpetrators brought to justice."

"Oh, Four," Mom says. "I don't know. I'm not sure if anyone is looking into it. Ethan is the only one I told about this. I'm sure he reported it when he got back to Abnegation though. I was just focused on getting him here."

"Of course, you were. I understand. Do you have a way for me to get in touch with Jonah Thomson or Matthew Williams?" he asks. "I can lend a couple of my investigators to them if needed."

"You should be able to call Andrew's office and talk to his secretary. Ask for either Jonah or Matthew, and she will transfer you to them," Mom says.

"I'll do that right now," Tobias says. "I'll go outside to make the call. I'll be right back." He gives me a quick kiss then heads out the double automatic doors as several hospital personnel rush into the room my mom just pointed out a minute ago. Mom, Caleb, and I hurry after them just in time to see a flat line on the EKG attached to my father's chest. I cry out and nearly collapse to the floor.


	10. Chapter 10

"Get them out of here," a doctor with short, curly blonde hair dressed head to toe in pink shrieks, pointing directly at us. She has a set of paddles in her hands, which are hovering directly above my father's unclothed chest. A bulky, bald-headed, male nurse in bright blue scrubs quickly ushers Mom, Caleb, and me out of the large, bright examination room as I see so many people rushing around my father trying to put a spark back in his lifeless body. He pushes us through the heavy double wooden doors and back into the small waiting area we just left, which seems like our new home away from home for as long as we've been here already. I collapse into one of the comfortable brown leather armchairs that sits just on the other side of the heavy double doors. I pull my feet up into the chair, rocking back and forth, trying desperately to hold myself together.

Tobias is looking at the screen on his phone as he walks back through the automatic doors, and when he looks up and sees the distressed look on my face, he runs directly to me. He sits down in the chair next to me, wraps me up in his protective embrace, and lets me cry into his chest, caressing my hair the entire time.

"He didn't have a heartbeat," I finally whisper as I dry my eyes on his now soaked skintight black t-shirt. "They kicked us out of the examination room. I can't lose him, Tobias. I'm not ready to lose him." A new round of tears fall from my puffy eyes onto Tobias' chest as my heart aches. His embrace tightens as I fall apart.

"I wish I knew what the right thing to say was, Tris," he softly says in my ear. "I wish I could say that everything is going to be alright and that he's going to be just fine but I don't want to give you false hope."

"I know," I say, sniffling pathetically. I lean back and looking in his troubled eyes.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" he asks. "Anything at all?"

"I want my daddy," I whisper.

"I know you do, love," he says. "I know you do. How about some coffee?"

"That sounds good," I say. I need something comforting, something I can hold on to. Something in addition to him.

"Natalie, Caleb," he says as he gets up from his chair and they look at him. "I'm going to the cafeteria to get Tris a cup of coffee. Is there anything I can get for either of you?"

"No thank you, Four," my mom softly says, remembering her polite Abnegation manners even in this time of great stress.

"I would take a cup of black coffee, Four. Thank you," Caleb says. Tobias leans over and kisses the top of my head once again, lingering for a moment, then heads down a hallway clearly marked with a sign saying cafeteria with an arrow underneath it. Mom gets up from where she's sitting and sits in the chair Tobias just vacated. She puts one arm around my shoulders and lovingly pats my knee with the other.

"How are you feeling, Beatrice?" she quietly asks. "Are you okay?" I know she's asking about the pregnancy but I'm not in the mood to talk about my little peanut right now.

"No, I'm not okay, Mom. Nothing about this is okay. I thought the targets were gone from our backs," I say. Caleb's hanging head snaps up, and he stares at me incredulously.

"Wait a minute, you think his assault has something to do with those godforsaken lists?" Caleb asks with disbelief clear in his voice. "We got all the people associated with that scandal, and they were executed, except for that kid who is sitting in jail. I don't believe this has anything to do with that. I-I can't believe that."

"Everyone loves Dad. I don't know of one enemy he has," I say, desperation seeping into my uneven voice. "Asher and Dru wanted us _all_ dead. What are the odds of someone else having a grudge against Dad? What else could this be about? I can't think of anything else. Can you?" Everyone is silent for a while.

"There have been several isolated reports filtering into Erudite of misconduct on the council. Some of the reports are more of the same from when Marcus was leading Abnegation but a great majority of the incidents are directly related to ... Dad." I furrow my brows hearing this. "We haven't released any reports yet because we haven't been able to corroborate any of the statements," Caleb says. "Erudite is trying to change its image by changing its ways. I'm trying my best to make sure of it. We don't want to accuse someone of doing something wrong if they are innocent, especially the leader of the council." Anger starts simmering in the pit of my stomach then quickly spreads outward throughout my entire body like a runaway blaze. No, this isn't right. Who in the world would think my dad would do anything wrong, _could_ do anything wrong.

"Dad wouldn't do anything wrong. He's too selfless," I say, my voice raising, extremely distressed now. "You can't believe those reports, Caleb. Can you? You know him just as well as Mom and I do."

"No, of course I don't believe anything I've read about him," he indignantly says, hating the fact I could doubt him. "I know he would never do the things he's being accused of. I know him far too well, and that is exactly what I have told my fellow leaders. But, Beatrice, that doesn't mean there isn't an individual or a group of people out there in the city somewhere who do believe the accusations or have some kind of unknown vendetta against him. Hell, it might not even be about him at all. It could just be more of the same shit ... Abnegation is bad. Let's destroy them." We sit staring at each other. My mother is giving Caleb a disproving look because of his colorful language.

"Here's your coffee, Tris," Tobias says, startling me a little bit and making me jump. I didn't see him approaching us because of my tense conversation with my brother. I take the cup of steaming comfort from him with barely a thanks. "Caleb." He offers a cup to him. "Am I interrupting something?" Tobias is looking between the three of us, taking in our strained expressions. Mom gets up from beside me to let Tobias sit down.

"Apparently, there have been some unsubstantiated reports coming into Erudite about Andrew," Mom calmly says when no one answers him. "We were just discussing who would do such a thing to him. Beatrice thinks the lists may still be in play. Caleb thinks Abnegation may still have some enemies. I didn't know Andrew had ... _has_ enemies. All this news is quite shocking for me." Poor Mom. This is so hard for her. Caleb reaches his hand out to her and she takes it.

"What kind of reports are there, Caleb?" Tobias asks, suddenly sounding like Four, taking charge once again. I'm glad he is. There isn't anyone more capable than he is and no one I trust more in this world. "Any information I can pass on to the investigators could be of the utmost importance." Caleb looks at Mom. She smiles at all of us.

"I think I will go outside and get some fresh air while you three talk," she says. "I have not one doubt when it comes to your father, kids. Whatever these accusations are, I know 100% in my heart they are false. If any formal charges are read, I will hear the allegations then." She gets up, holding her head high, and walks out the sliding double doors and sits down on one of the benches in front of the tall windows. I don't think I could have left. If people were trying to spread ugly rumors about Tobias, I would want to hear the charges, and I would scream at anyone who would listen that they weren't true.

"Before you begin, I want you to know I sent my two best men, Simon and Tony, to help Jonah and Matthew with the investigation. They seemed very appreciative for the assistance and a bit overwhelmed. They aren't accustom to having to deal with this kind of situation. I think they have always leaned heavily on your father. They are missing him right now," he says. "Now please tell me about these reports." I've learned in the past six weeks that Purple-Hair's real name is Simon McCall and Snake-Tattoo is actually Tony Weatherly, and they are dedicated to Dauntless and to Tobias. They will do anything he wants them to do. He made a good decision sending them to Abnegation to help with this matter.

"Thank you for all you've done, Four. My family appreciates it," Caleb says. He looks all around us and notes we are alone with the exception of an older Candor couple sitting by the automatic doors who have been paying us no attention all afternoon. They are huddled close together, tears in their eyes, comforting each other. I imagine they have no idea anyone else is in the room. "We've had numerous complaints but there have been three repeated accusations. Beatrice, please don't freak out when you hear them, okay." Well that tells me the claims are going to be horrible. I wish he wouldn't have said that. It's making me even more nervous and pissed off.

"I will make you no such promises, Caleb Prior," I say but I catch Tobias' worried expression and try to calm down. "I'll try."

"He's been accused of having a longtime affair with the wife of another council member, taking multiple bribes, and misappropriation of Abnegation funds," he quietly says, barely above a whisper. I can't stop the maniacal giggle from escaping my lips. My father having an affair is absolutely absurd. Caleb looks at me like I'm not taking this situation seriously enough, and the expression on Tobias' face tells me he is worried about my runaway hormones and perhaps my sanity.

"I am _so_ glad Mom went outside," I say, still chuckling. "She shouldn't have to hear such nonsense. Everything you just said is so ridiculous but an _affair_. Do you know who made these allegations?"

"No, each one was anonymous," Caleb says.

"Anonymous assholes," I mutter under my breath. Why must they hide behind their anonymity? Why can't they grow a pair and show themselves? _Assholes!_

"That tells me one of two things about the people hiding behind their anonymity," Tobias says. "Either they are fabricating the entire story for some reason know only to them or the person is scared of repercussion for coming forward." If I had a gun, knife, or death ray, I'd use it on him right now. _Where the hell did_ that _come from?_ Breathe, Tris. You really don't want to kill him. You love him.

"Tris," he slowly says, sensing my ever shifting mood. "I'm not agreeing with the reports. I would never do that. I know what an upstanding citizen your father is. I'm just telling you what anonymous reports usually mean, in my opinion."

"Sorry," I say with a sigh. "This is just so hard to deal with." I put my head in my hands, tears spilling again, and feel him pull we toward him.

"Can you tell me something?" he delicately asks. I look into his apprehensive eyes and nod my head. "Why do you think this has anything at all to do with the lists? We all know that's over with now. We got everyone involved."

"Hearing he had been attacked immediately made me think of my families names on Dru and Asher's hit list," I say. "The news took me right back to that terrible time. I can't think of anyone else who would want to harm him, so it made me think of that. He has to be okay."

"Has there been an update on his condition yet?" Tobias asks.

"No," I say, moving my hands around his waist. "I think that's what's killing me the most, not knowing."

"No news is good news," my mom says with her typical Abnegation-style optimism. I look up at her. I didn't know she had come back into the waiting room. She and Caleb sit down in the chairs facing Tobias and me and wait for news of any kind from the doctors working on Dad. I study her face while we watch numerous people come and go from the examination room, expectation rising every time the large heavy door creaks open and crushing us when no one approaches with any information. She seems so content but I know she has to be dying inside. That is her husband lying in there being worked on. I would be a raving lunatic if it was Tobias who had no heartbeat. I know it's her selfless nature that's keeping her from falling apart right now. This is another reason I question my aptitude test coming back with Abnegation as one of my strengths. I'm only selfless when I get something out of what I'm doing, and I believe that's the very definition of selfish.

Tobias generously offers to get each of us some more coffee and food from the cafeteria after a very long afternoon of waiting for news of Dad that never comes. I try to tell him I'm not hungry but he and Mom gang up on me and quietly remind me I need to take care of myself so I finally relent. He comes back from the cafeteria with a large coffee, turkey and cheese sub with all the accompaniments, and some sliced apples for each of us. I gladly take the coffee and drink it right down then take a bite of the sandwich, which turns out to be quite delicious and hits the spot. I didn't even realize I was hungry. I momentarily think about giving Caleb our news but I know this isn't the time or place. It seems like the only time I get to see my brother is during troubled times, and I don't want to tell him he's going to be an uncle twice over when he's in shock and on edge. I check the clock on the wall and am surprised to find it as late as it is.

"Four, will you please call Will and Christina and check on Tyler," I ask. "It's getting close to his bedtime, and I don't want him thinking we've forgotten about him."

"Sure," he says. "Why don't you step outside with me and get some fresh air and stretch your legs? It can't be good for you to just sit there, Tris. Please?" He holds his hand out to me, and I can't help myself. I take his hand, and he helps me to my feet. He's right, it does feel good to stretch my legs. I've been sitting here for hours.

"Mom, we're going outside so we can check on Tyler," I say. "We'll be right back. I love you."

"Take care of yourself, Beatrice. I hope Tyler is okay," she says. "Caleb and I will be right here."

"Who is Tyler?" Caleb says, confusion obvious on his face. I frown and then sigh.

"I'll tell you about Tyler when we get back," I say.

Tobias and I walk hand-in-hand out the automatic sliding double doors to the front of the hospital. I turn and look back to where we came from and can clearly see my mother and brother sitting by the big double doors that lead to the examination room, which relaxes me almost instantaneously. I'm still worried about my dad's condition but at least I can see if a doctor or nurse approaches my family with an update.

Tobias gives Will a quick call to check on Dauntless and Tyler. He also offers up our apartment for them to sleep in so Tyler's schedule won't be so disrupted and so he will be in a familiar place. He's had enough disruption in his young life. We don't want to cause him anymore stress. Will and Tobias exchange some pleasantries then he says goodnight and hangs up.

"Tyler's fine, love," Tobias says. "He apparently keeps asking for us and they keep having to explain that Andrew was hurt, and we are waiting to see how he is. Christina said he's a bit anxious and worried about your Dad also."

"Oh, poor baby. Thank you, Tobias," I say, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"How are you doing?" he asks after a moment, tipping my chin up so I have to look directly into his sad and worried eyes. I hate seeing him like this. My Tobias should always be happy.

"Physically, I'm fine. I know you're worried about the baby. Please don't be, Peanut's fine," I manage to say with a little smile. "Mentally and emotionally though? I'm not sure. I feel like I'm falling apart." He holds me as close as he can as tears start to run down my cheeks again simply because of sheer frustration. "Why haven't we heard anything? What is _taking_ so long? If they would just tell us something ... _anything_ , I could start to process it. This not knowing is brutal."

"I don't know what's taking so long, Tris," he whispers in my ear. "I wish I did." He holds me close for a long time, running his hands comfortingly up and down my back. "Maybe we should go back inside." He puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me back to the familiar seats we've spent the entire afternoon in. The creak of the heavy wooden door captures all our attention, and we turn and look intently at the older doctor with graying dark brown hair I saw working on Dad who is walking our way with zero emotion on his face. I hold my breath in anticipation of what he has to say.

"Prior family?" he asks. We all nod. "I'm sorry."


	11. Chapter 11

My heart seems to stop for a full minute before it starts to race painfully in my chest, and I finally have to remind myself to breathe. I draw an agonizing breath deep into my air deprived lungs. The doctor can't be telling us what I think he's trying to tell us. Can he? I stare into his bright green eyes and realize I have no words. I crumple against Tobias and feel him tighten his grip around my waist as he guides me into a seat.

"My name is Dr. Phillips," the older doctor standing before us says. "I should have come out sooner to update you on Mr. Prior's condition but it was touch and go there for quite a while, and it took longer than I thought it would to stabilize him." Oh, thank you, God. He's alive.

"How is he?" my mom calmly asks. "When may I see him?"

"He's in serious but stable condition. He suffered a traumatic brain injury and has been put into a medically-induced coma to let the swelling on his brain go down on its own. If this does not work, surgery will be necessary to relieve the pressure," he says, matter-of-factly and with no emotion. Right now I wish Dr. Parrish was the one talking to us. He has a much better bedside manner than this Dr. Phillips. Zander would be trying to put us all at ease. "He has a moderate-to-severe head injury with a nondisplaced skull fracture and sizeable brain contusion. Thankfully, he does not have any bleeding on the brain. That could have proven fatal. He appears to have taken a severe beating around his head and neck. We will be monitoring his condition closely for the next 48 hours to make sure no complications arise. This time is critical as to whether he will make a full recovery or not. Mrs. Prior are these your children?"

"This is my son, daughter, and her fiancé," she says, pointing to each of us in turn.

"I'm afraid only immediate family is allowed to visit tonight," he says looking at Tobias. "You and your children may see him for five minutes then you may all come back tomorrow during regular visiting hours when he has been transferred to a private room in the intensive care unit. Mrs. Prior if you would follow me, I will take you to see him now. Once again, I would like to apologize to all of you for making you wait without updates. I take full responsibility for that."

"You were working on my husband, Dr. Phillips," my mom says with typical Abnegation kindness. "We hold no ill will toward you." Mom squeezes Caleb's hand, glides her hand down my cheek, and pats Tobias' arm, then follows the doctor into the examination room.

"You are family, too," I stubbornly say to Tobias, hugging him tightly. "You should be able to see him tonight."

"It's alright, Tris. I'll come back with you tomorrow and see him then," he quietly says. "If you don't mind, I'm going to go check on Evelyn now that we know Andrew is stable. You'll go in to see him by yourself pretty soon. I promise I'll be right here waiting for you when you come out, and I'll get you home. I love you."

"Okay, Four. Please give her my best," I say leaning my head against his shoulder. "I love you, too." He puts his finger on my chin, tips my head back, and gently places his lips to mine. I have to remind myself we are sitting in a public waiting room across from my brother. It's just too damn easy to lose myself when his lips are on mine.

"I'll be right back," he says after he pulls away from me. He runs his hand down my cheek, just like my mom did a moment ago then gets up and moves toward the now very familiar elevator in the corner of the emergency department that will carry him up to the obstetrics ward to visit with his mother.

"Who is Evelyn? And who is Tyler?" Caleb asks, watching Tobias cross the room. "You never did tell me." I take a couple deep breaths in preparation.

"Evelyn is Four's mother, and Tyler is his 2-year-old little brother," I hesitantly say. "He's staying with us right now."

"His mother?" he asks, surprise then confusion alighting his face. "I could have sworn his mother died years ago. Wait, she _did_ die. I remember going to her funeral. I think I was somewhere around ... eight years old."

"Yeah, I remember her funeral also. I was seven and you had just turned eight. Four was nine. It's a really long story, Caleb," I say. I look around the waiting room then lower my voice. "Basically, Evelyn could no longer live with the abuse she suffered at Marcus' hand so she left him to become factionless. He couldn't take the rejection so he lied to everyone including Four and all of Abnegation and concocted the story about her death during childbirth. She's very much alive. She contacted Four almost two years ago wanting to reconcile. It's very difficult for him to talk about. She not only left Marcus, which I totally understand, but she left him too, which I can't wrap my head around. I don't think I will ever be able to understand how she could have left her own child the way she did."

"That's terrible," he says, leaning back into his chair and running his hand through his typically neat tresses. "Marcus sure is a piece of work, isn't he? He gives Abnegation a bad name. I'm surprised they didn't make him factionless when they removed him from the council. Do you know why they removed him? All I've ever heard was gossip and speculation." I'm not used to this side of my brother. I'm used to the quiet, selfless Caleb I grew up with in Abnegation not the information seeking Erudite he has become. Wanting to hear gossip is very selfish. I let out a sigh remembering the day Marcus verbally assaulted me in Dad's office.

"Mom, Dad, Jonah, and Matthew overheard a statement Marcus made to me in Dad's office," I say. His eyes widen in surprise, and he just stares at me. He obviously wasn't expecting me to be part of the story and hasn't heard a version similar to this before. "Forgive me, I really don't want to repeat what it is he said because it was lewd. Mom slapped him across the face." Caleb sits in awe trying to picture our mother angry enough to hit someone I imagine. "Dad, Jonah, and Matthew made the decision to call the emergency meeting to discuss Marcus' behavior, and he was unanimously removed from the council that very day. Four asked Dad not to have a factionless vote but it was decided by the council that a vote would be held anyway, and he barely kept his status as a member of Abnegation. He is a total psychopath. I can't imagine anyone voting to allow him to stay. He is a master manipulator, and he was awful to Evelyn and Four. He absolutely despises me and blames me for getting kicked off the council. He wants revenge."

"I read the reports about Marcus before and after he lost his seat on the council. I have to admit, I didn't believe them at first, but I've come to see through his deceptions," Caleb says. "Why is Evelyn in the hospital, and why is Four's brother staying in Dauntless with you? Aren't there some sort of rules against that?" Oh, this is getting into the news about the baby. Do I tell him now? I stare at him for a moment.

"She's pregnant and having severe complications. She has to remain here in the hospital under constant supervision and strict bed rest until the baby can be safely delivered," I say, deciding to leave out the part about the adoption for right now. "We were given temporary custody of Tyler six weeks ago by social services because he didn't have any place else to go. That's why he's living with us and, no, we aren't breaking any rules."

"Raising children while being factionless should be against the law," he mutters.

"I'm not sure I disagree with you on that subject, Caleb," I say. I have a hard time thinking about handing Tyler back to Evelyn after she is ready to leave the hospital for so many reasons but now that he's had a taste of living in a faction, it seems cruel to send him back to that hopeless existence. It's the life _she_ chose to live ... the life she has _forced_ on him.

"Can you send copies of the reports coming into Erudite about Dad to Four?" I ask, wanting to change the subject. Thinking about giving Tyler up right now is depressing me more than I already am. "He'll give them to Simon and Tony. Maybe with their help, Jonah and Matthew can figure out who's behind the rumors and the assault."

"Rumors ... that's a very good description of the reports, Beatrice. Do you know of anyone who would want to discredit Dad?"

"No, I've already told you that. I really don't," I say. Just as soon as the words leave my lips a picture of Marcus pops into my mind and a sneer crosses my face. Caleb gives me an odd look. "Actually, it didn't even cross my mind until right now, but Marcus could have done this."

"Caleb, you may go see your father now," Mom says, surprising us. I didn't see her approach. She looks ashen. "He's right through those double doors. You can't miss him. Please don't stay any longer than five minutes." He gets up, gives Mom a quick hug, and goes through the doors to see Dad. "What were you two talking about?"

"We were talking about who we think might be behind the rumors about Dad and who could have hurt him," I say. "How is he, Mom?" She takes a couple deep breaths steadying herself.

"He's not good, honey," she says, her voice cracking once. "I'm afraid he has a long road ahead of him. He's going to need your prayers."

"I've been praying, Mom," I say.

"How are you?" she asks. "Are you feeling okay? You need to promise me that you will take care of yourself and the baby. Try not to let what happened to your father affect you too much." I take both her hands in mine and look her straight in the eyes.

"I promise I'm fine," I say. "I also promise to take care of myself. I won't do anything to jeopardize Peanut."

"Peanut?" Mom asks with a warm grin on her weary face.

"Yeah. The baby kind of looked like a peanut in the ultrasound picture I had ... yesterday, and that's what I started calling him ... her. I hate calling Peanut an 'it'," I say. She leans forward and kisses my forehead. We sit side-by-side still holding each other's hands. She caresses the back of mine, comforting me. Hopefully sitting here with me is comforting her.

Caleb comes out of the examination room looking like he's just seen a ghost. He walks past us despite our calling his name repeatedly and out the front doors. I see him double over and Mom drops my hands and rushes to his side. She wraps her arms around my brother and lets him cry on her shoulder. I'm not sure I want to see Dad if Caleb, who is much stronger than I am, is reacting like this.

The creak of the large, heavy doors captures my attention, and I slowly get up out of my chair like I'm being compelled by some unseen force. My feet slowly move me forward of their own volition straight to my father's side. His appearance is ... shocking. He is deathly pale. He has a tube down his throat breathing for him. He is attached to two different IVs. Both of his eyes are very black and his right eye is completely swollen shut. He looks just awful, like the person lying before me isn't the beloved man who loved and cared for me for 16 years. I shuffle forward and take his hand in mine. I notice no marks on them. The attack must have happened so fast that he wasn't able to defend himself.

"We're going to find out who did this to you, Dad," I say in his ear. "I love you so much. _Please_ get better. You have grandchildren who need to know you. And we have a lot of work to do to make this city a safer and better place to live in. You can't leave us, not now." I bend over and give him a kiss on his pallid cheek. Tears stream down my face and fall onto his. I wipe the moisture off his cheek and turn and run out of the room. After exiting the large wooden doors, I run headlong into something hard and look up through my tearstained lashes and realize I just ran straight into Tobias' arms. He holds me tight as sobs wrack my body. Once the tears have dried, he takes me outside.

"Caleb, I would like to get Tris home now," Tobias says. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I am, Four," he says. He gives Mom a big hug and a kiss on the cheek then slowly walks toward the car. Tobias releases me, and I walk straight into Mom's arms. I'm so emotionally drained that I don't even have any tears left or I would be bawling right now. She whispers that Dad will be okay in my ear then kisses my cheek as she hugs me tightly. We both say goodnight to Mom then get in the backseat of the car. Caleb drives us back to the Dauntless compound much slower than he drove this afternoon. We don't speak. I think we're all too exhausted both physically and emotionally to make conversation.

"Thank you, Caleb," I say when he pulls up in front of the Pire. "Will we see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," he says, looking deflated. "Have a good night." Tobias gets out of the car and starts to help me out. "Beatrice?" I look in Caleb's weary eyes. "I love you, sis. _Please_ take care of yourself. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you, too."

"I will, Caleb," I tell him. "I love you, too. I always have and I always will. Take care of yourself also." I get out of his car and stand with Tobias, waving at him as he pulls away and leaves us behind. Tobias takes my hand and leads me into the building and up the stairs to our apartment. He unlocks the door and opens it to find Will standing there.

"You're home," he says. "I was just going to get something from my place. How's your dad, Tris?"

"Not good, Will," I say. "He has a bad head injury. He's in a medically-induced coma. If the swelling doesn't go down on its own, he'll have to have brain surgery."

"That is awful. I am so sorry," Christina says, coming up behind Will. They both step away from the door and let us through. I collapse on the couch and Tobias sits down next to me and puts his arm around my shoulders.

"How is Tyler?" I ask, needing to get my mind off of Dad's assault.

"He's fine," Christina says. "We had supper in the cafeteria, came back here watched a movie, then he went to bed at a little after 8:00 p.m. I've checked on him several times. He's fine, Tris. What happened to your dad?"

"All we really know is that he was badly beaten this morning," I say with a whisper, my voice quivering. "He could die." Will and Christina sit down on our love seat, and Christina leans forward and puts her hand on my knee.

"Anything you need at all, Tris, I'm here for you," she says. "Whether it's picking up Tyler at daycare or sitting with you at the hospital. I'm here for you. You know that." I lean forward and wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly.

"We'll leave you guys alone now," Will says. "You both look exhausted."

"Thank you so much for looking after Tyler," Tobias says. "We really do appreciate it. We'll see you at breakfast and talk about our schedule. I imagine Tris and I will be spending a lot of time at the hospital this week."

"Goodbye, guys," I say. "Love you." Will and Christina get up off the love seat and move toward our door. "See you in the morning. Thanks again." They quietly go out into the hallway. Tobias gets up after them and locks the door. He comes back and stands in front of me. I look up through the tears on my lashes.

"You need something to eat, Tris," he says.

"I'm not hungry, Tobias," I say. "I just want to go to bed." He sighs.

"No," he forcefully says, taking me by surprise. "You have to not only take care of yourself but our baby." I can't help but give him a little smile when he says _our baby_. "You need to eat."

"You're right," I say. "I think some scrambled eggs would be easy on my stomach tonight. The pancakes were a bit heavy this morning."

"How about a small bowl of fruit with them and some milk?" he asks, heading toward the kitchen. I turn myself sideways on the couch and follow him with my eyes.

"That actually sounds good," I say, my stomach grumbling a little at the mention of food. "Thank you for making me eat. I guess I am hungry after all." He looks over at me and smiles his brilliant smile and takes my breath away.

"I'm going to check on Tyler. I missed him today," I tell Tobias while he's making our supper. "I'll be right back." I get up off the comfortable couch, which is wanting me to stay right where I am, and trudge up the stairs to Tyler's room. He is sound asleep in the middle of his little bed looking like the little angel he is. He is one of a handful of people who could put a smile on my face right now. I lean over and place a light kiss on his cheek then I leave his door ajar and slowly walk back down the stairs and straight to my seat at the island. As soon as I sit down he slides a plate full of fluffy scrambled eggs, a small bowl of oranges, melon, and grapes, and a large glass of milk to me. He carries a plate of eggs and bacon over for him, and I steal a slice of bacon off his plate before he can sit down.

"Would you like me to fix you some?" he asks with a smirk on his face. I reach over and take another one of his.

"No, I think this will be enough," I say, biting off the end of the slice. He kisses the side of my head, and I grin at him as I take another bite of the stolen bacon. I eat slowly, savoring each bite realizing just how hungry I am but it doesn't take long for the familiar fatigue to start weighing me down though. After I finish my last bite, I stack my bowl and glass on my plate and shove them away and lean on my right elbow and stare at Tobias. "Thank you for taking such good care of me." He looks my way.

"You're welcome," he says. "You know I'm glad to do it."

"Thank you also for going to the hospital with me today. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there for me to lean on. I love you so much." I lean over to him and gently place my lips to his. We kiss softly for a moment. When we part, I feel the tears start to run down my cheek again, and I quickly wipe them away. Now isn't the time for tears.

"I love you, too, Tris," he says. He gently glides the back of his hand down my cheek, catching a few stray tears as they descend my face.

"I'm going to go to bed," I tell him. "I'm absolutely exhausted. I hope you don't mind if I leave you to clean up the kitchen on your own."

"Not at all," he says. "Go." He gathers all our dishes and takes them into the kitchen to put them in the dishwasher. I get up off my barstool, go to him, stand up on my tiptoes, and once again place my lips gently on his. We move our mouths together for a moment before I break away.

"Goodnight," I say turning toward the stairs so I can go to bed.


	12. Chapter 12

I lazily roll over in bed and instinctively reach out for Tobias but only find the cold, empty sheets next to me. I open my eyes and see the green glowing numbers on the alarm clock telling me I've overslept. My pulse starts to race when I realize I should have been up hours ago. I sit up, swing my legs over the side of the bed, and slide to my feet. I walk to the bathroom and find it empty. Tyler's door is open and his room is dark. I go downstairs and am baffled when I see it too is deserted. Just as I'm getting ready to grab my phone, I see a piece of paper on the island. I walk over and immediately recognize Tobias' flawless scrawl.

VI

I decided to let you sleep in since you've had a couple stressful days. I'm taking Tyler to the cafeteria for breakfast then to daycare. I'll be back soon and make us breakfast before we go see your dad. I love you.

IV

I decide to take advantage of his thoughtful nature and the peaceful morning to take a soak in the tub, which is something I rarely get to do anymore. I turn the water on, get it to just the right temperature, and put my favorite coconut-scented bath salts in, which came in a set with the coconut butter lotion Tobias bought me at an Amity booth last fall at the farmer's market. I strip out of my short black silk pajamas, toss them in the hamper, and climb into the comfortable, oversized bathtub and stretch out.

My thoughts immediately go to my dad who is still fighting for his life in the hospital after receiving a beating from at least two unknown assailants according to the evidence collected from his body when he was brought to the hospital. The chemically-induced coma Dr. Phillips put him in, thankfully, is working. The swelling on his brain is gradually going down, and it looks like surgery has been avoided. He told us he doesn't want to leave Dad in the coma too long but he also doesn't want to bring him out of it too soon. It's a very delicate situation. I keep praying for him to get better and to come back to us.

The hospital has been allowing Mom to stay with him 24 hours a day since they are a married couple but Caleb and I can only visit during the official posted ICU visiting times, which are 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. and again from 5:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. I spent every hour I could with him yesterday sitting by his side, holding his hand, and I plan to do the same every day until he wakes up. Mom seems to be holding up much better than I would be in her situation. Caleb, on the other hand, doesn't seem like himself at the moment, and he isn't very forthcoming about what's bothering him. At first I thought it was seeing Dad lying in the emergency department with all the tubes and machines hooked to him but now I'm not so sure. Something is nagging me and I can't shake it. I wish I could. Tobias is really helping me right now. Anything I need, he gets me even if I don't know I need it. He spent part of his time yesterday with Mom, Caleb, and me in Dad's large private room in the ICU and the rest of his time in Evelyn's room in the obstetrics ward.

A huge yawn brings me back to the present, and I decide I've spent enough time in the bath for one day. The warm water is starting to get cold anyway. How is it that I'm tired after sleeping for a good eight uninterrupted hours? I hope the prenatal vitamins give me some energy soon. I let the water out and get up. I grab the plush towel off the towel rack by the tub and thoroughly dry every inch of my body. Before I get dressed for the day, I decide to put some coconut butter lotion on. I walk into my bedroom, grab my lotion from the dresser, and retreat to the bed. I'm gently rubbing the deliciously scented luxurious cream into my small firm breasts when Tobias walks into the room.

Our gaze meet, and he leisurely runs his eyes over every inch of my still naked body. His lusty look brings an easy blush to my cheeks, and I smile coyly up at him. I take in a deep breath and tuck my hair behind my right ear, never taking my eyes off of him. The fatigue I was just experiencing moments ago is replaced with a crippling need so deep I swear these might be my last few breaths. I put the lid back on my lotion and set it on the nightstand and turn my attention back to Tobias.

I motion him to me with my finger, and he hurriedly crosses our bedroom in two giant steps and gently pushes me back on the bed. He follows me down, covering my body fully with his but he's holding himself so that even though I can feel every inch of his hard body against mine I can't feel any of his weight. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine for a long, lingering kiss. I mold every delicate curve of my body to every sleek, hard muscle of his while our lips move fluidly together. I leisurely run my hands up and down his back while our tongues dance to a choreographed rhythm all their own. He moves his mouth to my neck, kissing me on the sensitive spot just below my left ear so we can both catch our breath.

I gently push on his chest, and he rolls us both so I'm lying on top of him. I straddle his waist, lean up, and kiss each of his eyelids then place a sweet little kiss on the tip of his nose. I trail little pecks down to his right ear then seductively lick all around then lightly bite and then suck the lobe, causing a groan to escape his mouth. I feel his hands everywhere at once and I let out a sigh of my own. I sit back and smile flirtatiously at him. He sits up and his mouth crashes into mine. Oh how I love this man of mine. He kisses me fiercely until I can no longer think straight, and I break away. I put my hands on the hem of his skintight black t-shirt and slowly pull it up and over his head exposing his perfect naked chest to me.

I shove him back on the bed and plant kisses on every inch of the strong, muscular planes of his chest. Then I capture his right nipple in my mouth and circle it with my tongue. He grabs my head between his large hands, pulling me closer to his magnificent chest, and I feel his manhood throbbing beneath me. I move my mouth to his left nipple and give it the same special treatment I just gave the right, teasing him mercilessly. I release the hard, sensitive bud from my mouth and kiss my way down his tight, muscled stomach to his narrow waist. I grasp the waistband of his sweatpants and pull them and his boxer briefs down and off, freeing his impressive manhood. I put my mouth on his navel and slowly French kiss it before moving my way down and kissing every inch of his lean hips and long, muscular thighs.

He manages to leverage himself up on his elbows, and when I grasp his engorged flesh at its base, he sucks a haggard breath in through his clenched teeth. My heart hammers in my chest with anticipation. I look deep into his lust-filled darkened eyes as I flit my tongue out of my mouth and barely touch the tip of his manhood. Refusing to break our gaze, I lightly lick up and down his shaft then circle the highly sensitive ridge around the head making him close his eyes. A raspy groan escapes from deep inside his throat, and a smile curves the corner of my lips. I continue my worship until every inch of his rigid manhood has been bathed in my saliva at least twice. His arms will no longer hold him up, and he collapses back on the bed, gripping the bed sheets tightly in his big hands as I move over his hard length and take him in my mouth, inch by hard, hot, pulsating inch. Once I move as far as I can, I pull my head back, sucking hard, teasing the underside of his length with my tongue. I hear his harsh and uneven breath, and it turns me on and drives me further. I work my mouth and hand into a synchronized rhythm, loving him. When I feel Tobias getting close, he grabs me by the shoulders, pulls me up, and kisses me hard.

"Tobias," I say while he is kissing my neck. He pulls back and looks into my eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Tris," he roughly says. I recognize the hunger I'm feeling mirrored in his lust-filled eyes, and he rolls us so he's lying between my outstretched thighs. He lets his hand lazily glide down my body, raising goosebumps everywhere his fingertips lightly touch. He softly grazes the fullness of my left breast then slowly travels further down to the heat between my legs driving me absolutely crazy. He gently enters one finger into my moist center, testing my readiness. He withdraws just as slowly and places his throbbing manhood at my entrance and steadily pushes an inch or two at a time into my tight depths. Once he is fully seated he stills himself for a while, letting me get used to the fullness. It is still a very snug fit.

I put both my hands around his neck and firmly grasp his hips with my thighs. He pulls almost all the way out of me before trusting slowly home, eliciting a moan from deep in my throat. I cling to him as he unhurriedly pulls his length almost entirely out, and I move my hips up to meet each and every one of his deliberate thrusts. The powerful emotions I'm feeling combined with the crazy pregnancy hormones are beginning to overwhelm me, and tears stream down my face, pooling just above my ears, wetting my hair. When Tobias looks into my eyes he is completely taken aback and stills himself completely.

"What's wrong?" he asks, concern alighting his face. "Are you okay? I'm not hurting you am I?" I shake my head at him.

"No, you're not hurting me," I manage to say through the tears, my voice trembling. "I just love you so much." I search for the hand that's next to my shoulder. When I find it, I lace our fingers together, squeezing tightly. I put my other hand on the small of his back and hold him close. "I think it's just the hormones. Please don't stop, Tobias. I need you ... I need this." I manage a little smile then lift my hips to meet his and grind them together. I want him so much in this moment, I'm nearly delirious. He returns my smile and pulls nearly out once again then sets a quicker pace this time. I call out with each of his powerful thrusts, feeling myself climb toward the peak of some unknown summit that promises to be nothing less than spectacular.

"Tobias ... oh ... oh ... oh, God ... please!" I plead. I rock beneath him as he thrusts harder and faster into my tight, wet womanhood. I feel myself climbing higher and higher until I have nowhere else to go but over the edge, and I call out just as he places his mouth on mine, capturing my scream of fulfillment. He continues his frenzied thrusting, kissing my mouth, and touching me everywhere he can at once. When he buries his head in my hair and groans in blissful anguish, I draw in much needed oxygen.

He holds himself above me, not moving and worriedly looks into my eyes. He slowly moves his mouth down and kisses tears away that are once again escaping my eyes. He must think I've lost my mind. _I_ think I've lost my mind. I've never cried during sex before. He rolls us on our sides, still joined, and holds me to him, and I try to get my emotions under control but it doesn't work. After I cry into his naked chest for five full minutes, I tip my head back and look into his adoring eyes. I go to open my mouth but Tobias puts a finger over my lips.

"I love you more than anything. You know that," he says. "We'll get through this." At that I manage a genuine smile.

"Yes, we will," I say. I run my hand up and down his muscled arm then join my hand with his. "I should apologize though. You probably think I'm crazy." He starts to say something but this time I stop him. "You'll want to take my apology now while I'm offering it to you. There might be a time when I do something dreadful and don't think twice about it." He laughs and lightly puts his lips to mine and kisses me gently.

"Okay. You're right. I accept your apology," he says. "But I don't think you're crazy, not at all. I think you're just a little emotional." He kisses the top of my shoulder then looks at me again. "I also think you are amazing ... selfless ... wonderful ... womanly ... sexy ... perfect ... beautiful ... mine." With each pause he kisses up my shoulder blade to my neck. On mine, he's passionately kissing me again. We are both smiling as we move our lips together perfectly. I break away and look at him.

"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me," I say, emotion thick in my voice. "Thank you for letting me sleep in this morning, and thank you for making love to me. I really needed both." I manage to roll us so I'm resting on top of him. I suddenly feel the familiar flames of desire, and I look toward the clock. We still have plenty of time before visiting hours start at the hospital. I'd rather love him than eat any day. I sit up and grind my hips to his. He sits up, and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"Tris?" he say. The look in his eye catches me off guard.

"I want you," I whisper, tears forming in my eyes again, suddenly feeling rejected. Damn hormones. "Don't you want me?" A long, deep groan escapes his throat right before he forcefully puts his lips on mine and kisses me savagely.

"You know I want you. I _always_ want you," he breathlessly says with a catch in his voice when he breaks away. "Please don't cry again. You're breaking my heart."

"Then make love to me, Tobias," I say, holding on to him for dear life, tears running down my face. I can feel him growing longer and harder inside me as I massage him from the inside. I see him look at the clock, and he groans again.

"Anything you want, love," he says, caressing the side of my face. "Anything you want." He flips us so I'm lying beneath him, and he pulls out of me. My eyes go wide and a pout crosses my lips but he just grins, shakes his head at me, and places his lips on the sensitive spot beneath my ear. "If I'm going to make love to you again, I'm going to do it right, Tris." Anticipation stirs in the pit of my stomach at his words, and I relax back into the mattress.

He kisses my neck and around my ear for what seems like hours as my hands roam over every rippling muscle of his firm back remembering every memorized detail of his factions tattoo before he slowly moves down my body. He places sweet kisses on every inch of my chest and stomach, carefully avoiding my aching breasts, causing me to squirm beneath him in sweet agony. Finally he turns his attention where I want it, cupping a small rounded breast in each hand. He raises his eyes to mine as he gently kneads the throbbing, tender flesh.

"Your fuller ... bigger. I'm surprised I didn't notice before," he says with appreciation in his eyes, teasing me with his gifted touch. "Do they hurt? I think I heard somewhere they can hurt when you're pregnant."

"A little," I breathlessly admit. He loosens his hold on me but, thankfully, doesn't let go. "It still feels really good when you touch me like that, Tobias. Please don't stop." He smiles at me right before he captures an erect nipple in his mouth and gently starts sucking on it. I let out a sigh as I feel pulsating desire between my thighs at his action. He stops the gentle pulling and slowly circles his talented tongue all around the aching, sensitive bud like it's the best thing he's ever tasted before grasping it between his teeth and gently nibbling.

"Oh shit," I say, gasping at the sweet torture. I tangle my fingers in his hair and hold him to me. "Please don't stop. It feels _so_ good." Soon he turns his attention to my other breast and sucks the nipple into his wet, hot mouth. He nibbles, licks, sucks, and teases until I'm writhing against him, trying to satisfy the building ache between my thighs. He releases the aching bud from his mouth and kisses all around it. Every once in a while he darts his playful tongue out and lightly licks my quivering, throbbing peak, eliciting a long, guttural moan from my parched throat.

I feel his right hand leisurely glide from the breast he's been fondling to my waist. When he moves to caress the inside of my thigh a shiver moves through my small body. A loud whimper escapes my lips when his middle finger finds my moist, throbbing center and enters me. His callused thumb finds my swollen, aching nubbin and starts to lightly circle. He adds a second finger and picks up the in-and-out pace, and my hips thrust up to meet his hand. He drops kisses along my chest, stomach, hips, and thighs as he continues to move further down my body until he is lying between my open legs. He adds a third finger, stretching me to my limits and speeds the pace further. He sucks my hard, aching, sensitive bundle of nerves into his mouth, causing me to arch myself toward his hot mouth. He wraps his free arm around my leg, keeping me in place as he swirls his hot, wet tongue around my nubbin, moving me closer to the summit I've been climbing to for what seems like hours. When he lightly nibbles on the aching bundle of nerves, I can't hold back any longer. My back arches as I cry out with a dizzying explosion of ecstasy. I flop back on the bed trying to catch my breath. When the fog of release lifts I realize Tobias is above me looking down into my eyes with love radiating out of his. He lowers his lips to mine as he rolls us over so I'm on top of him.

"Make love to me, Tris," he huskily says, caressing my cheek. I adore that he trusts and loves me enough to relinquish his control from time to time. I sit up so I'm straddling his hips, move myself back and forth over his rock hard, pulsating rod, and his eyes lustfully roam over my bareness. He reaches up and places his hands where his eyes were just a mere second ago and cups my aching breasts. I reach beneath me, grasp his engorged manhood, and place him at the entrance of my womanhood. I ease myself down on every rock hard inch until he's buried deep inside me for the second time this morning. I lean forward placing my hands on either side of his head and place my lips on his in a satisfying, passionate kiss as I slowly rise and fall on his impressive manhood.

I set a slow, unhurried pace as Tobias moves to take my swaying breasts in his mouth causing a mini explosion of gratification deep within me. I continue to press myself down on his hard shaft, meeting his every upward thrust, increasing our tempo. He frees my breasts and slowly glides his hands down my body to rest on my hips. Our breath is coming shallow and fast as he helps move me up and down a little faster on his length.

I move hard against him for what seems like an eternity, my orgasm building. When the summit is once again within reach, I move frantically on him as he thrusts his hips savagely upward causing me to slip into some unknown abyss. I continue riding him as I quiver around his length causing him to swell further as he thrusts into me with wild abandon. He shakes violently beneath me as he releases himself into my depths. I continue moving on him through his final spasm of relief then I collapse on his hard, muscular body. When my breathing returns to normal, I prop my chin on my folded hands and look into Tobias' dark blue, tender eyes.

"You're too good to me," I say, glancing at the clock. "I think we better take a shower so we can get to the hospital." He laughs a little.

"I don't think so," he says with a smirk. "You're having trouble keeping your hands to yourself this morning." Since my good mood has been restored, I laugh with him.

"Do you mind?" I ask. "Me not keeping my hands to myself, I mean."

"Not at all," he says. "But unless you are actually _wanting_ to leave the bedroom today, we're going to have to stop."

" _Fine_ ," I say with a pronounced, exaggerated pout. "Go take your shower!"


	13. Chapter 13

Tobias heads toward the bathroom to start his shower while I decide which outfit to wear to the hospital to see Dad. It's a little cooler than it has been lately so I chose a long-sleeved black and gray striped t-shirt and a pair of black stretchy yoga pants. I decide to pair these with my favorite pair of fur-lined ankle boots, and since it looks like rain, my shiny black rain slicker. I lay them across the stripped down bed before I go into the bathroom. I know I promised him separate showers this morning since he's worried I won't be able to keep my hands to myself but I decide to throw caution to the wind and open the shower door and step inside. When a gust of cool air hits him, he looks my way.

"I promise I'll be good," I say, looking coyly up at him through my lowered lashes. "You're almost done anyway, aren't you?" He nods his head at me, all the while looking at my naked form, before stepping out of the way so I can get under the spray of hot water. "Can you get my back?" I hand him the almost empty bottle of coconut body wash after I put some on my nylon pouf. He takes it, and I hear him put some in his large hand. He gently applies the deliciously scented gel to my shoulders and back as I lather up the rest of my body. I then step under the hot water spray to let the soap rinse off me.

"Thank you," I say to him. "Would you like me to get your back?"

"That would be nice," he says. I get his shower gel off the small shelf and put some in my hand. I rub them together into a rich, thick lather and put my hands on his shoulders then thoroughly clean his back.

"There you go," I say, kissing his shoulder. "I told you I could be good." When he's done rinsing himself he slowly bends his head down and places his lips on mine, careful not to stoke the flames of desire, and kisses me gently. He releases me a few minutes later. Before stepping out of the shower, he runs the back of his fingertips down my cheeks and smiles brightly at me.

"I'm going to get dressed and start breakfast while you finish your shower," he says. "Don't take too long. I love you."

"I love you, too," I say as he steps into the cool air of our bathroom. I turn my attention back to the shower to finish my daily routine. After I rinse the conditioner out of my hair, I turn off the water. The minute I open the shower door a wave of nausea unlike anything I've ever felt before hits me full force. I hurry out of the shower, landing on my knees just in time as I retch into the toilet. I hear quick footsteps behind me and know Tobias is witnessing my humiliation. He kneels down beside me and rubs my back as I get sick two more times. Then the nausea disappears as quickly as it came on. I sit back on the cool tile floor as Tobias gets up and gets me a cool washcloth to wipe off my clammy face.

"Are you alright?" he asks, concern clear in his dark eyes.

"I think I just had my first bout of morning sickness," I say. "Christina has talked to me about it a little. It literally came out of nowhere." He helps me to my feet so I can brush my teeth. I'm careful at first not to set off my gag reflex. I don't want to get sick again. "I'm not very hungry. Do you think you could just fix me some toast this morning? We'll see if that stays with me." He smiles at me then kisses my forehead.

"Of course," he says. We walk out into the hallway together. I feel his eyes on me as I turn to go to our bedroom. I look over my shoulder at him.

"Go," I say. "I'm okay. I promise." His hovering when I fell off the path and later when I had the flu comes rushing back to me. I loved that he wanted to take care of me, but it got old very fast. I remember feeling like I was suffocating at times. I hope I can keep my emotions in check and not blow up at him when he's just trying to be nice ... overprotective but nice. He slowly turns and walks toward the stairs, and I go and get dressed in the outfit I laid out. I forgo my regular makeup routine in favor of a freshly cleansed face. I put styling product in my damp hair, dry, and style it, and go downstairs to eat my toast. He's made himself a couple scrambled eggs, which look really good to me. I wonder if I can hold them down.

"You want some?" he says noticing me eyeing his plate. I look into his eyes and nod. He slides his plate to me and gets up to make some more.

"Thank you, Tobias," I say. I slowly eat the fluffy deliciousness before me, savoring each buttery bite. I then slowly eat the toast.

"How are you feeling?" he asks. "Think you're going to keep that down?" I gauge how I'm feeling.

"I think so," I say. I lean over and place my lips on his cheek and kiss him lightly.

"What was that for?" he asks, putting another bite of eggs into his mouth.

"Do I need a reason?" I ask, cocking my head to one side. I rest my chin on my hand and lean on the island, staring at him.

"No," he says with a smile. "Are you going to stare at me while I eat? You're kind of creeping me out." He says the last sentence very slowly, trying not to piss me off I imagine.

"Thank you for giving me your eggs," I say, not taking my eyes off of him. I study every detail of his handsome face ... the spare upper lip ... the fuller lower lip ... the faint hollow beneath his cheekbones ... the long eyelashes ... the hooked nose ... the strong jaw ... the ears that stick out just a bit too much for the shape of his head ... the scar on his chin ... the turned down corners of his mouth ... his deep-set, gorgeous dark blue eyes. I wonder how many of these traits our baby will have. I know I want Peanut to look more like his or her father than me. It wouldn't be fair to give my little peanut my gawky features.

"Beatrice Grace Prior," he says and my eyes come back into focus. He's looking at me very intently. "You haven't heard a word I've said, have you? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Sorry," I say, absentmindedly moving my hands down to cover my abdomen. "I was just thinking about the baby." His eyes soften immediately. "I was just wondering what Peanut will look like."

"Oh," he says, a smile spreading over his face. He glides his large hand gracefully down the side of my cheek then moves it down and joins it with mine. "I hope, one day, I have a daughter who looks exactly like you because she would be the most beautiful girl in the world. Well, second only to you." I want to argue with him. The way he sees me is mystifying.

"I basically was just thinking the same thing, except hoping our children looked exactly like you," I say with a smile. "Shall we go? If we leave right now, we should make it to his room just in time for visiting hours." He smiles at me, and I can tell he has something to say. "What?"

"Of course we can leave right now but you're the one who made us late. Don't forget that," he says with a chuckle, kissing my cheek. "Do you want to walk with me to get the car or wait at the curb for me to pick you up? I don't want you to get too tired."

"I want to walk with you," I say, reaching over and wrapping my arms around his neck. I can't help myself. I'm feeling exceptionally lovey-dovey today. I pull his mouth to mine for a loving kiss. "Have I told you how much I love you today? If I have, I'll say it again. I love you very much, Tobias Eaton."

"I love you, too, Tris," he says, moving his mouth back to mine. He pulls away from me sooner than I want and my lips automatically form a pout. "Come on. We need to go. You want to see your father, don't you?" At the mention of my father, it's like someone slaps me across my face. I nod at him.

Tobias takes my hand, and we quickly walk to the underground garage to retrieve the car. Before we leave, he shoots a couple texts to Will and Tori telling them we're leaving for the hospital and won't be back until late tonight. He also double checks that the paperwork Ethan Black needs to sign is still in the car where he put it last night. Soon we are headed into the center of the city.

"I almost forgot to tell you I gave in to Uriah and Marlene and told them we would be at their Candor or Dauntless party Friday night," he says. "They've been bugging me almost nonstop. I told them we wouldn't be there until after 10:00 p.m. and could only stay a couple hours because of Tyler. I asked Avery if she could watch him. I wanted to make sure she didn't already have plans. I hope that's okay."

"Honestly, a Candor or Dauntless party is the last thing I want to do, Tobias," I tersely say, furrowing my eyebrows at him.

"I'm sure that's the truth, Tris, but we've both had nothing but stress this week. We _need_ to blow off some steam. I think a couple rounds of Candor or Dauntless is a great way to do that," he says. "A few hours with our friends isn't going to kill either one of us." I cross my arms over my chest and stare out the side window, pouting. He lets me. We drive the rest of the way to the hospital in silence. After a few minutes we pull into the parking structure by the emergency department. I let out a long sigh then look at Tobias.

"I'm sorry," I softly say. "You're right. A few hours relaxing and playing with our friends isn't going to kill me."

"I'm glad to hear it," he says. "I'm also sorry I made the decision without talking with you but I thought you would try to talk me out of it."

"You're right," I say. "I would have. Sometimes it's annoying how well you know me."

"I'll remember you said that," he says with a chuckle. He secures the important documents we'll need this evening in the oversized glove compartment and locks the car after we get out. We enter the emergency department and take the elevator up to the third floor where the ICU is located then walk to my dad's room. I stop in my tracks and Tobias runs right into me nearly knocking me down. I'm shocked to see Dad sitting up in bed drinking orange juice through a straw with some assistance from my mom.

"Dad," I say. He looks my way and manages a small lopsided grin. I run to him and carefully put my head against his chest and cry happy tears as he pats the back of my head.

"Beatrice," he slowly says. "Don't cry, honey. I'm going to be alright." When the tears dry, I sit back in the chair Mom obviously has been sleeping in and look into his swollen, blackened eyes.

"I am _so_ happy you are finally awake. I was so worried about you," I say, wiping the remaining tears away. Then I look at my mom and add, "When did they take him out of the coma? How long has he been awake?"

"They took the final sedation off last night," she says. "He woke up a couple hours ago. I thought about calling you and giving you the good news but I decided I would let it be a surprise." Her natural spark is back knowing that he's going to be alright.

"Andrew," Tobias says from right behind me, "how are you feeling, sir? You had us all very worried."

"There is no need to call me sir, Four," he says, speaking slowly. "I'm feeling lucky to be alive." I know my father. He could be on fire right now and wouldn't say a single word to let anyone know he was in any discomfort. Huh. Tobias is a lot like my dad. I wonder why I haven't noticed that before.

"Do you remember anything at all about the assault, Dad?" I ask, trying not to get my hopes up. He probably doesn't remember much. Head injuries are tricky. I remember Tobias'.

"I'm afraid the last thing I remember is having lunch with you, Four, Tyler, and your mother on Sunday afternoon," he says. "I've tried to remember but it hurts my head."

"Don't try to remember," Tobias says. "If the memories are going to come back, they'll come back on their own. I know this from experience, Andrew. Until my memory came back, all trying to remember did was give me a severe headache. Have the doctors given an update on your condition?"

"The swelling has completely resolved," Mom says. "They told me the brain bruise is looking better, and the skull fracture is healing as expected. The doctors expect him to make a full recovery but they want to keep him here until Friday to make sure there are no unexpected complications. They are talking about discharging him Saturday morning. The doctor also said almost exactly what you just said, Four, about the memory loss. His memory might or might not come back, and he told Andrew to try and not dwell on it."

"Have there been any updates this morning from Matthew or Jonah as to the investigation," I say. We haven't talked to Purple-Hair or Snake-Tattoo yet today.

"They haven't checked in with me yet," Mom says. "Maybe there has been a development."

"I want to thank you for the assistance of your men," Dad says with a little chuckle. It's good to hear him laugh. "They are scaring everyone they talk to." This makes _me_ laugh. I remember the first time I saw Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo the morning after the initiation rankings were announced and Tobias and I made our relationship public knowledge. They were the two biggest, scariest Dauntless members I had ever seen. Now I know they are just big puppy dogs and unless provoked wouldn't hurt a fly.

"They're harmless," I say. "I didn't think so when I first met them but now that I've gotten to know them, they're both just overgrown babies ... and if anyone _ever_ repeats that to them, I will deny it." Laughter fills the large room just as the brilliant sun comes out from behind a dark storm cloud, flooding the room with its exquisite light, raising our mood even more. "Where's Caleb?"

"He hasn't been in to check on your father yet this morning," Mom says, worry flashing momentarily in her sparkling eyes. "I'm sure he'll be here any second."

"I think I'm going to go see Evelyn for a little while and give you some time with your family," Tobias says.

"They're your family too," I whisper.

"I know," he murmurs in my ear. "It's a privilege to be a part of your family, Tris. I wouldn't know what a normal, loving family looked like if I didn't have you." He leans over and gives me a quick peck on my lips, tells me he loves me, then walks out of the room.

"He's been spending a lot of time with Evelyn, hasn't he?" my mom asks.

"Yes," I say. "He's worried about the baby so he visits her as often as he can."

"Do you think it's a possibility they are trying to mend their relationship?" she asks. I nod slightly.

"I think part of him wants nothing more than to have a normal mother/son relationship with Evelyn but spending time with her is extremely hard for him," I say. "I imagine he doesn't want to get too close because he's afraid she will up and leave him again. That would be my fear. He doesn't talk about it much though, and I've learned never to try to pull any information out of him. When he's ready to share, he will."

"You have a problem with her though," she states. She's very perceptive. I thought my answer was very diplomatic. I stare out the window for a moment before I answer.

"I have a hard time with the fact she left him in the first place," I say. "I don't understand the kind of woman who could leave her child, and she's done it multiple times. I know it's probably selfish of me not to forgive her, but she hurt him. I don't think I can ever forgive her for that." My mom smiles brightly at me.

"You are going to be a wonderful mother, Beatrice," she says just as Caleb walks in the room. Upon seeing Dad awake, he too stops in his tracks.

"You're awake," he says, relief plain on his face. He looks more like the Caleb I've known all my life and less like the stranger who has been hanging around the hospital the past few days. "Why didn't someone call me?"

"We wanted it to be a surprise," Mom says with a warm smile on her face. "He just woke up a few hours ago. Isn't that excellent news?"

"Yes, it is," he says. "Do you remember anything about the attack?"

"I'm afraid I don't, Caleb," Dad says. "The last thing I can remember is having lunch on Sunday afternoon. The doctors tell me memory loss is perfectly normal in this kind of situation. They also tell me that the amnesia could be permanent or my memory could come back at any time. I was also told not to stress about what I can't remember. I'm confident the investigation will get to the bottom of things."

"I wish you could have remembered," he says with a sigh. His eyes slide to mine, and he gives me a strange look. He had to have heard what Mom said just as he came into the room. I wonder what's going through his mind right now.

"Why did Mom just say you are going to be a wonderful mother?" he asks, his face dead serious. I've never seen him look quite like this before. I stare at him with my mouth slightly ajar. I have no idea what to tell him. Do I tell him the truth?

"Because we are going to be parents," Tobias slowly says after shutting the door behind him.


	14. Chapter 14

I watch as my beloved brother turns a disturbingly pale shade of white right before he turns bright red with fury. His eyes are shooting daggers at Tobias, and he has a disbelieving look on his face. This is not the way I wanted to tell him he's going to be an uncle. I get up from the chair I've been sitting in and cautiously approach my big brother, and Tobias moves to make sure I'm not in any danger. Usually I would tell him I can take care of myself, but Caleb's look can only be described as murderous.

"Caleb," I slowly say. He turns his seething eyes toward me. I was hoping ... no, _expecting_ his expression would soften once he looked away from Tobias but it hasn't. I expected this reaction from my father, not my brother. "Four and I have some good news. At least we think it's good. You're going to be an uncle ... twice."

"What do you mean twice?" he asks, confusion filling his features.

"I told you Evelyn is pregnant and staying here in the hospital because of complications," I say. "What I didn't tell you is that Four and I are going to adopt that baby. She doesn't think she can take care of her properly since she is factionless."

"She's having twins?" he asks hopefully.

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I'm pregnant." I begin to tell him about the death serum but he cuts me off.

" _You_ ," he spits. He takes a step toward Tobias, and I automatically maneuver my way in between them. I will _not_ have them fighting. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dad straighten up in his hospital bed and Mom come around to stand close to me in case there is a physical altercation. "I always knew you were a son of a bitch. You got her _pregnant_?"

"That's enough, Caleb," my Dad sternly says. "There were extenuating circumstances. You need to hear them out." His look changes to shock hearing what Dad has to say.

"You know about this and are okay with it," he says.

"Your mother and I have given our opinions to Beatrice and Four. They know our concerns, fears, and hopes," he slowly says. "After discussing it with them, yes, I'm okay with it, and so is your mother. They have our blessing in all they do even though they do not need it."

"Wow," he says. He drags his eyes to mine. "You actually let this big brute touch you, take away your innocence. You're not my sister anymore."

"I wasn't expecting this kind of reaction from you," I say, anger coursing through my veins. I'm happy for the rage or I would be bawling like a baby right now.

"I can't believe you want to have children with this ... this monster," he says, eyeing Tobias. "What if he turns out exactly like his good for nothing father?" I gasp then take two steps forward, shaking Tobias' hand off my arm, and get in Caleb's face.

"If you _ever_ say anything like that about Tobias again, I won't hesitate to kick your ass," I calmly say. "I'm Dauntless. I'm a soldier who has been trained to kill. I _can_ and I will put you in your place. I beat a girl nearly twice my size during initiation, and I wasn't _half_ as pissed at her as I am at you right now." He actually takes a step back. My calm demeanor must be more threatening that yelling. I'll have to remember that. "There is something you don't know, Caleb. I got pregnant on accident. I was trying to tell you earlier but you flew off the handle. What Cameron gave me New Year's Eve had an effect no one knew to look for. It erased my birth control shot allowing me to get pregnant." I had every intention of telling him about the death serum but I thought twice about it after seeing his reaction. I may be his sister but he's Erudite now, and I think _they_ are his main priority. I could be wrong, but I don't think he would hesitate to turn me into the Erudite scientists if he learned I survived the death serum even if it was just to get me away from Tobias.

"You shouldn't be having sex at your age," he says. "You're still just a little girl. Can't you see he is taking advantage of you?" Blinding rage flows through my veins. I take a step forward and level a punch directly at his throat even before thinking. It happens so fast, Tobias doesn't have time to hold me back. I hear both my parents gasp at this turn of events as Caleb staggers backwards, holding his throat and gasping for air.

"I told you not to talk about him that way," I scream, angry tears running down my face. "Why can't you be happy for us? We are thrilled. I want my family to be happy too, but if you can't be happy for us, I don't ever want to see you again."

"Beatrice," my mother says in her calming voice. "Honey, you need to relax. Being this upset isn't good for you or the baby." Tobias reluctantly releases me, and Mom guides me back to the chair I was sitting in just a few minutes ago. "Breathe." I do as she says, breathing in and out like Tobias taught me. "That's it. You're doing a good job." I feel the tears drying and sanity slowly returning. Oh great, now guilt is threatening to crush me.

"I'm sorry I hit you, Caleb. I did warn you though," I say getting up from my chair. I start pacing back and forth in front of Dad's bed. "I think it's time all of you start looking at me differently. I am _not_ a little girl anymore." I make eye contact with Dad, Mom, and finally Caleb. "I am a woman who has a full-time job I love as _leader_ of one of the five factions. A child wouldn't be trusted to do that. I have a seat on the council, and I've never had one complaint. I've been entrusted by social services to take care of my two-year-old almost brother-in-law. Do you think they would have just handed him over to an immature kid who has no responsibilities and no drive? I'm getting married in a little less than two months, and I'm going to be a mother about a month after that. I really need you to stop looking at me like fragile little Beatrice who couldn't take care of herself and needed help at every corner. I'm Tris now. I'm confident. I'm strong. And I'm incredible happy. This is the life _I_ chose to live, the life I _want_ to live. Please stop _fighting_ me on this." I stop pacing and gently sit on the end of Dad's bed. We are all very quiet for a time.

"I'm sorry, Beatrice. I don't know what came over me," Caleb says. "I know you aren't a little girl anymore. It's hard for me to let go. It's been my job as your older brother to protect you. I thought I was still doing that."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to accept your apology," I say, not quite ready to forgive.

"Four, I shouldn't have said what I did," he says. "I may not know you very well, but from what I've seen, I know there is no way you would ever do anything to hurt my sister. You may not remember this but one day at upper levels shortly before you left Abnegation you helped a young red-headed Amity girl who was being bullied by a group of Candor boys. You caught their attention, put yourself in the line of fire, and got them to stop tormenting her then did nothing to defend yourself when they started throwing punches." Tobias blushes a little as Caleb tells the story. "Others, including myself, stood around and did absolutely nothing to help her _or_ you. I was ashamed then, I'm ashamed now. I really am sorry. I never should have made a comparison to your father. That was unfair of me."

"No, you shouldn't have, Caleb," I say. "He is absolutely nothing at all like Marcus." I know one of Tobias' greatest fears is turning into Marcus. Caleb couldn't have said a more hurtful thing to him.

"Tris, it's okay," Tobias slowly says. "Caleb, I strive each and every day not to be like my father. You are right on one account, I would _never_ do anything to hurt Tris or our children. I have to say that your lack of confidence hurts. Tris, I'm going back to see Evelyn. I'll meet you here at 3:00 p.m., and we can get some lunch." He turns and immediately goes out in the hallway. I jump up off the bed and follow him.

"Hey," I say, walking toward him. He stops, turns, and looks at me with a pained expression. "Please don't dwell on what he said. You are _nothing_ like Marcus. You know that, I know that. I wouldn't be with you if you were." He hangs his head.

"But, Tris," he starts to say but I cut him off.

"No buts, Tobias Eaton," I whisper. "You are not your father. You never have been, you never will be. I know what was in your fear landscape, and I wish I could take it away. I wish I could take all your pain and fear away." He looks into my eyes, and I see a tiny spark of hope.

"Thank you," he says, pulling me into his arms. I wrap mine around his waist. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. We cling to each other for another minute before he lets me go.

"I'm alright," he says with a warm smile on his face. "Enjoy your time with your family. Try not to argue with Caleb anymore."

"I can make no promises," I say. He chuckles, kisses my forehead, then turns and leaves me.

"Hey," he says from down the hallway. "Nice follow through on that jab. It was just like I taught you." I grin and shake my head at him. I think back to initiation and his instructions at the punching bags as he gets on the elevator. That was the second time he touched me. Desire again makes itself known in the pit of my stomach but I shake it off. I go back to my Dad's room, sit in the chair next to his bed, and glare at Caleb.

"I said I was sorry, Beatrice," he says with actual sorrow in his voice. "What else can I say?"

"You've made my life harder than it needs to be," I say. "It's going to take me a while to forgive you, Caleb."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"What concept are you having problems with?" I ask spitefully.

"Making _your_ life harder," he says. I stare at him for a moment, not sure if I should tell him any of Tobias' secrets. I probably shouldn't have opened my mouth but I'm still so frustrated with him.

"One of his greatest fears is turning into his father," I softly say. "He battles with himself daily over this fear just like he said. You just made it worse by validating his irrational thoughts. I'm the one who has to talk him out of those beliefs and make him see he's nothing at all like Marcus. You really don't know how good we had it growing up until you take a walk in someone else's shoes. I've done it, _literally_. I've been inside his head, _in_ his fear landscape. I'm surprised he's as good of a person as he is with what his parents put him through. I've said way more than I should. You must _never_ repeat any of this. Promise me. I felt it was the only way to make you understand just how much your words hurt him."

"I really am sorry," he says, hanging his head. "If it makes you feel any better Mom and Dad just chewed me out for how I acted."

"Well, maybe a little," I say, a small grin crossing my lips. "Mom and Dad, I need to apologize to you for my behavior. No matter how angry I got, I shouldn't have hit Caleb. It didn't solve anything. Caleb, I am sorry. I wish I could blame the whole mess on hormones but it really happened because you pissed me off."

"Language, Beatrice! I swear I raised you two better than this," Mom says. "I accept your apology. You didn't do any permanent damage, and you were entitled to your anger in that moment." She gives a disproving look to Caleb, and he shrinks back a little. Dad just nods in my direction.

"I accept your apology," Caleb says. "I hope you can accept mine soon."

We sit around Dad's bed for the next hour talking about everything under the sun, except his assault. We want to give his brain time to heal so maybe he can remember exactly what happened that awful morning. I tell them I had my first bout of morning sickness that morning and my wedding dress is in, and I can't wait for my fitting. I also tell them the father of Evelyn's baby is prepared to sign away his parental rights letting us move forward with the adoption, without confirming his identity as Ethan Black. Caleb tells us he has a first date Saturday night with Cara, who just happens to be the older sister of one of my very best friends, Will. He beams at us when he gives us this news. It's probably just me but three out of the four times I've met her, I've wanted to punch her in the face, so I wonder what he sees in her but I'm polite enough not to ask. Mom tells us she's been volunteering at the redistribution center in the basement of the Hub once a week and reading to children at the library on Saturday mornings now instead of shelving books on Saturday afternoons.

"I hate to bring this up now, but I feel like I don't have another choice," Caleb slowly says to Dad. "What do you know about the anonymous reports coming into Erudite?" Immediately I see Dad's face fall.

"You know about the reports?" I ask, not wanting to believe it. "Why didn't you say anything about them?"

"Because none of the reports are true," he sternly says. "At first I didn't even give them a second thought. I believed if I ignored them, they would go away. Unfortunately they haven't, and they are getting more and more salacious."

"I have a problem. Some of the higher ups at Erudite are getting antsy and want to release the reports," Caleb says. "I have done everything I can to get them to stall but I don't know what else I can do."

"How can Erudite want to release reports without any evidence?" I say, anger creeping into my voice. Caleb is quiet for a long time. "Caleb?"

"I don't think they care," he says. I can tell he has something else to say but I interrupt.

"You would allow lies to be printed about your own _father_ without any proof?" I say, adrenaline racing through my veins making me madder. I get up from my chair and start pacing again. "I thought you told us you and your colleagues are trying to change Erudite for the better. This is not an improvement, Caleb. You told Four, Mom, and me you don't believe Dad has done anything wrong. How could you allow these rumors to be printed and circulated to all the factions? Is this another conspiracy against Abnegation, against our father? Does Erudite want to lead so badly they would throw an innocent man under a bus?"

"You think I haven't been busting my ass trying to make these rumors go away, _Beatrice_ ," he says, jumping off the end of Dad's bed, just as furious as I am now. "He's my father, too, and I don't want to see anything happen to him. You've been acting like all this is happening to you alone, and I know you've been questioning my loyalties."

"Why shouldn't I question your loyalties," I shriek. "You're Erudite now, and Erudite _hates_ Abnegation for some unknown reason."

"Why are _you_ allowed to be Dauntless and still care about Mom and Dad but me be Erudite and automatically have to hate them?" he asks, getting in my face. "It isn't fair." I take a few breaths trying to calm myself. He's right. I should apologize but something still doesn't feel quite right with him. I wish I knew what it was.

"I'm sorry for implying you don't care about Dad. I know you do," I say. "That was wrong of me." I won't concede anything else right now.

"You guys might want to hold it down," Tobias says as he comes back into the room. "I could hear you all the way down the hall. What's going on now?"

"Erudite wants to release the reports about Andrew," Mom says.

"Without proof?" Tobias asks. Caleb lets out a big huff. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"Are you going to jump down my throat now, too?" he asks, plopping down in one of the chairs circling Dad's bed.

"No," he says. "I know you are in a difficult position." I look up into Tobias' face and see him looking down at me with a disapproving look. I tear my eyes away from his before I say something I might regret later. "Has anyone suggested putting Andrew under truth serum? That would dispel the rumors." Truth serum? Why didn't I think of that? He's not Divergent, there is no way he could lie under the serum.

"No, Four. No one has mentioned truth serum," Caleb says, rubbing his hand across his face.

"Would you be opposed to being questioned under truth serum, Andrew, once the doctors clear you to do so, of course?" Tobias asks. "It may be the only way to prove your innocence."

"I have no problem with that," he says. "I swear I didn't do the things they are accusing me of. I can't imagine who started these rumors. At first I thought maybe your father had something to do with them but I've known him long enough to realize this isn't his way of handling things. If he has a problem with someone, he goes right to the source. He doesn't beat around the bush, and he never enlists someone else to do his dirty work. I guess I should have realized sooner he wasn't as upstanding a guy as he pretended to be."

"What are they accusing you of, Andrew?" Mom asks. "I'm ready to hear the allegations now."

"I've been accused of taking bribes and rerouting Abnegation money into personal accounts, which they apparently have proof of," he says. I stare at him before looking at Caleb. He looks like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. That's what he's been keeping secret. They have so-called proof, and Erudite thinks that's all they need to release the reports. He really has been protecting Dad. "Someone ... I don't know who ... has taken various amounts from different Abnegation accounts and deposited it into an account under my name. When I was showed the documentation, I was flabbergasted. I'd never seen any of the records before. This is probably why Erudite wants to release all the reports."

"There is more, isn't there?" Mom asks.

"Yes, I've been accused of having an affair with the wife of another council member," he quietly says. "Natalie, I swear, I've never betrayed you. I wouldn't do that. I love you too much. That is the most ludicrous of all the accusations." I've never heard my dad tell my mom he loves her before. "I've also been accused of everything from abusing Beatrice and Caleb to stockpiling supplies, which I think are holdouts from Marcus' tenure. All I've ever done is try to be a good leader."

"I'm sorry, Caleb," I say. "You've been trying to protect him all this time, and I basically accused you of working against your own father. I hope you can forgive me."

"It's okay, Beatrice. I was under direct orders not to divulge the information about the secret account to anyone," he says. "I probably would have jumped to the same conclusions if the roles were reversed." I look at the clock on the wall and see that it's nearly 3:00 p.m., and the nasty afternoon charge nurse will be around soon to kick Caleb, Tobias, and me out of Dad's room. I'm surprised she hasn't done it already because of all the noise we've been making this afternoon.

"We better get going," I say. "Visiting hours are almost over and to tell you the truth, I'm starving." Tobias smiles brightly at me. "Caleb, would you like to join us?"

"Thank you for the offer," he says, "but I have some phone calls to make. I think the truth serum angle might hold off the leaders who outrank me. Thank you so much, Four, for suggesting it. I don't know why we didn't think of it ourselves." I give Mom a hug and kiss on the cheek and whisper another apology in her ear then turn and do the same with Dad. He kisses my cheek and tells me he loves me. Tobias takes my hands and leads me out of the room and down the hallway after Caleb leaves. Just as we are getting on the elevator to go down to the cafeteria, I see the charge nurse go into Dad's room only to find his guests have already left.


	15. Chapter 15

Tobias and I slowly make our way down a long, narrow hall next to the emergency department to the large cafeteria on the ground floor of the hospital to grab a quick lunch before our 4:00 p.m. meeting in Evelyn's room with Ethan Black. Once they have both signed the parental rights termination paperwork, I will feel so much better about the adoption. We both get a delicious-looking hamburger, pasta salad loaded with fresh veggies, cooked apples with cinnamon, milk, and coffee then find a cozy table in the corner of the large dining room by an oversized window and sit down. We eat quickly knowing we still have to go all the way out to our car, which is parked in the underground garage and get the paperwork that's locked in the glove compartment then walk to Evelyn's room on the fifth floor.

He asks how I'm doing, and I give him the simple standby, "I'm fine," which isn't entirely true. I'm worried about my dad for so many reasons. He's still in the hospital with a head injury and memory loss, and Erudite wants to take advantage of the situation and release false reports claiming he's a criminal. In my opinion, some people at Erudite want the other factions to think Dad deserved the beating he got. I'm worried what allegations of an affair, even if they are false, will do to my parent's marriage. How would I handle someone trying to tell the entire city that Tobias was being unfaithful to me? Would my faith in him falter? I would like to think it wouldn't but I remember how I reacted to learning of Evelyn's existence, before I knew she was his mother. I was insecure enough to think he must have another girlfriend somewhere in the city because I knew I wasn't enough for him. I'm ashamed I ever thought that.

I'm also extremely upset with Caleb. We've never fought like we did today. I still can't believe how he reacted to the news that I'm expecting a baby. His reaction was that of a domineering father, not a protective older brother. I can forgive everything he said to me but I'm having trouble letting go everything he said to Tobias. It seems strange that deep down my father and brother, two of the most important men in my life, really don't seem to like Tobias all that much no matter what they say. Dad punched him in the face when he found out we were engaged, and Caleb hoped he wouldn't turn out to be just like Marcus. I wonder how he could have possibly picked up on the one insecurity Tobias has and beats himself up over.

I'm also upset with myself over how I acted with Caleb. I know I'm upset with him and deservedly so but that doesn't give me the right to act the way I did. I basically sucker punched him right in the throat. It felt good in the moment but the minute I sat down and thought about what I'd done, I felt extremely guilty. I still do. I apologized to him but I'm not sure it was enough. I also had fleeting thoughts he was somehow involved in Dad's attack. I'm glad they proved to be false.

"Tris, you haven't heard a word I've said, have you?" Tobias asks with humor in his voice. My eyes focus, and I realize I'm staring into his smiling eyes.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I was just thinking about our afternoon. What did you say?"

"Do you want to walk to the car with me or stay here?" he asks. "I don't want you getting too tired. We still have a long evening ahead of us." He's right, I'm already feeling fatigued but I can't stand being away from him for one minute if I don't have to be.

"I want to walk with you," I say, getting up from the table. He picks up our trash and tosses it in the garbage can as we exit the cafeteria. He takes my hand in his and leads me through the maze of halls to the underground garage where our car is parked. He gets the life-changing paperwork out of the glove compartment, and we make the familiar journey to Evelyn's room. We don't talk about anything important. We just enjoy each other's company.

We get to her room a few minutes before our scheduled meeting time, and Ethan Black is already there, sitting on the edge of her bed, holding one of her hands in his and caressing her cheek with the other. It feels like we're interrupting an intimate moment, which makes me extremely uncomfortable. I know I'm judging, but _they_ shouldn't be having intimate moments. He's married to someone else, and I momentarily wonder if she's still married to Marcus. I'm going to have to ask Tobias that question. I can't believe I've never thought of it until right now, not that knowing the answer will make any difference. She goes by her maiden name of Johnson but she's never mentioned divorce in my presence. Of course all of Abnegation and the entire city think Evelyn Eaton is dead so it's probably hard to get a divorce when you're deceased.

"Four, Beatrice," Ethan says, dropping Evelyn's hand and getting up off the bed. "I didn't hear you come in."

"We have the forms for you to sign," Tobias says, narrowing his eyes at Mr. Black. "I'm sure you would like to get this over with so you can get home to your _wife_."

"Tobias Marcus Eaton," Evelyn scolds. I always assumed his middle name was Marcus but I never asked. He moves his eyes towards her and glares. "There is no need to take that kind of tone with him. He is here doing you a favor."

"Four," I whisper, moving close to him and putting my hand on his Amity tattoo, reminding him to be nice. He looks down into my eyes but his furious expression doesn't change. "Calm down, please." I do the deep breathing exercise he taught me just days ago. He takes a couple deep breaths with me, not taking his eyes off of mine, and I see his face soften a little bit. He takes a step further into the room, and I let my hand fall away from his back. I close the heavy door, which usually sits propped open, to give us some privacy then sit in the small, uncomfortable chair I've come to know very well right next to Evelyn's bed.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Black," Tobias stiffly says. "That was uncalled for." He walks over by his mother and opens the packet he has in his hands. "Stephanie Misner from Candor is our attorney. She drafted the parental rights termination paperwork as well as the adoption documents so you both only have to be available to sign once." He pulls the documents out of the manila envelope and spreads them out on the large overbed table right in front of Evelyn. "She explained that everywhere there's a blue flag, Mr. Black, your signature goes and every red flag needs your signature, Evelyn." He pulls a black pen out of his jacket pocket and hands it to his mother. She diligently signs every line next to a red flag in both documents then hands the pen to Mr. Black. He takes his time, reading over the documents before signing them. I wonder if he's getting more out of reading them than I did. To me, it was like reading a foreign language. When he's done, he hands the paperwork back to Tobias who looks over every single page very carefully making sure no signature line has been missed.

"Does everything look in order?" Evelyn asks, eyeing Tobias hopefully.

"Yes, it does," he says. His eyes land on mine, and I see a joy in them I've only seen twice before, when I said I would marry him and when we found out I was pregnant. I smile brightly back at him knowing what he's thinking, she truly is our daughter now. "I have a question for both of you, and I want an honest answer. Do you have any reservations giving the baby to Tris and me to raise?"

"No, Tobias. I have no reservations but you already know that," Evelyn says. I look at her and notice a spark I've never seen in her eyes since I've known her. She's like a totally different person with Ethan Black here with her. She continually follows him around the room with her eyes. Anyone who looks at her can tell she is head over heels in love with him. It kind of makes me sad. He gets to live a comfortable life in a faction with his wife at home and a mistress on the side while she lives factionless, giving birth to child after child of his, one of whom she will ever truly know. My hands automatically go to my abdomen and cover my little peanut up. I can't imagine not ever knowing him or her.

"No, Four. I have zero reservations about you and Beatrice adopting her," Mr. Black says. "Evelyn and I have talked about this a lot. Our oldest daughter is out there somewhere in the city, and we will never see her or know her. I have no plans to ever interfere with your raising of this child but if I come upon you in town it will be nice to see her and know that she's okay."

"Thank you," Tobias says. "You don't know how much this means to both Tris and me that you trust us enough to raise your daughter."

"Mr. Black, may I ask you a question? It's about my father," I say.

"Of course," he says.

"Do you know anything at all about his assault?" I ask. "Mom told me you helped get him to the hospital the morning of his attack. Did you see anyone out of place or a stranger hanging around perhaps?"

"A very scary man with a tattoo of a snake wrapped around his neck asked me a lot of these same questions," he says, paling a shade or two.

"We haven't talked to Tony today," I say. "Do you mind repeating what you told him? I would appreciate it."

"Your mom knocked on my door a little after 7:00 a.m. She was frantic, and I had a hard time trying to decipher what it was she was asking me," he says. "When I saw the blood on her hands, I realized she was telling me Andrew was hurt and needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. I grabbed the car keys, drove us to your parents' house, loaded your father in the backseat, and drove him to the hospital. During that time, I didn't see anyone and before your mother came for help, I was in my house eating breakfast and didn't hear anything. I'm sorry, Beatrice. I wish I knew something that would help."

"Thank you so much for helping him," I say, emotion thick in my voice. "My whole family appreciates it."

"You know what," he says, a strange faraway look on his face. "Marcus was standing outside his house when your mother and I were loading Andrew in my car. I just remembered that. I saw him out of the corner of my eye." Marcus, my main suspect for Dad's assault.

"Can you get in touch with Jonah or Matthew and give them this new information?" I ask. "It might not be anything, but I think they need all the information they can get from that morning to help solve this case."

"I'll phone Jonah when I get home," he says, a warm smile on his face that reminds me so much of Tyler that it startles me for a moment.

"Tris," Tobias says, "we should probably get going." I look at the clock and see that it's after 5:00 p.m. and Dad's visiting hours have already started.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to," I quietly say. I don't think Ethan Black or Evelyn are listening to me though, they seem to be absorbed in their own little world. He looks towards his mother and her lover and shakes his head.

"I'd rather be with you, love," he says as he runs the back of his fingertips down the side of my face from my hairline to my jaw, causing an aching desire slightly lower than my navel.

"Okay," I say.

"Evelyn, Mr. Black," Tobias politely says and they both look our direction. "Tris and I are going to visit her father now. Thank you both for signing the paperwork. You don't know how much it means to both of us."

"All I ask is that you take good care of her," Mr. Black says.

"We will," I say. "Goodnight. We'll be back tomorrow to visit, Evelyn."

"Goodnight, Tobias, Beatrice," she says. I wonder why it always seems like she says my name as an expletive. I also wonder if we will ever bury the hatchet.

Tobias firmly grasps the adoption paperwork in one hand and takes my hand in his other, and we walk to the elevator and take it down to the third floor. When we exit, he leads us down several back hallways to my dad's room. Mom and Caleb are sitting on either side of his bed and everyone looks our way when we walk into the room. Tobias and I pull up the remaining two chairs around Dad's bed and sit down. We talk for a good hour about what we did while we were apart. Tobias and I announce that the adoption papers have finally been signed, and we'll be taking them to Candor tomorrow to have them filed. Mom, Dad, and even Caleb give us their sincere congratulations.

Caleb was able to give us some much needed good news. Instead of having supper he talked to his fellow leaders at Erudite, and they have agreed to postpone releasing any reports about Dad until he's well enough to go under truth serum at Candor. Apparently one colleague of Caleb's didn't like this idea and voted no. Briefly, I think maybe someone from Dad's early days in Erudite is holding a grudge but when Caleb mentions his name, Gavin Scott, Dad said it doesn't sound familiar.

"How are you feeling, Dad?" I ask, noticing he looks very tired.

"I'm good, Beatrice," he says. I nod at him but study his face for a while and see him slightly flinch every once in a while. He probably is in need of his next dosage of pain medication but he would never tell anyone including the nurse who is due in at any time.

"I think Four and I are going to go," I say. "It's been a long day and you need your rest." He smiles at me and reaches out his hand. I take it.

"You really don't have to go," he says, but I can see a slight relief in his eyes. He'd never kick any of us out of his room but he's tired, in pain, and needs his rest. Tobias and I get up from our chairs, which he returns to their original positions along the wall opposite the windows. I lean down and give Dad a kiss on the cheek and tell him we'll see him tomorrow.

"I love you, Dad," I say. "I'm so glad you're awake and going to be okay."

"I think I'm going to head out, too," Caleb says. "It's been a long week, and it will be nice to go to bed early." We all say our goodbyes, and Tobias and I go to the elevator followed by Caleb. We all get off in the parking garage and walk to our cars, which are surprisingly parked close to one another.

"I'm sorry again about everything I said today and how I behaved," Caleb says. "I truly don't know what came over me. I really do like you, Four. I don't know where those hurtful words came from. I hope one day you can forgive me."

"It's already forgotten, Caleb," Tobias says, selfless as ever.

"Caleb, I'm sorry, too," I say. "I shouldn't have hit you, and I never should have doubted you have Dad's best interests at heart. I'll try to think before I speak from now on." I hug my big brother then get in our car. The evening has turned off bitterly cold so Tobias turns the heater up in the car to take the chill out of the air before we head toward home. I stare out the window for a while thinking about everything that happened today. When I turn my head, Tobias is looking at me more than he is the road, which makes me a little nervous.

"Would you please watch the road," I say to him with an uneasy smile. "Precious cargo, remember." He sighs.

"I'm not going to let us crash," he says with amusement in his voice. "Are you okay? You sure have been quiet." I suddenly realize we are only minutes away from home.

"Actually, I'm better than I have been since Monday morning when Caleb showed up outside my office," I say. "I have a feeling everything is going to work itself out."

"I'm glad you feel that way," he says. "I was beginning to think you were stewing over something."

"No, just reliving certain events from today," I say letting my eyes leisurely look him up and down.

"Really," he says with a sly smile. We pull into the compounds underground parking garage, and he pulls the car into our normal parking spot. He takes his seatbelt off as I release mine. He reaches across the empty space and cups the back of my head, pulling me toward him. He gently places his lips on mine and unhurriedly kisses me. When the urgency increases, he playfully bites my bottom lip, and I open my mouth to him. Our tongues duel for dominance as our hands explore one another's bodies.

I unzip his leather jacket and slide both of my hands over the hard muscles of his chest as he slips a hand under the hem of my fitted black and gray t-shirt and up to cup a breast, which is aching to be freed. He moves his mouth to my neck, kissing, licking, and nibbling the exposed flesh, making me shiver. When he frees my swollen breast from the confines of my lacy bra, a loud moan escapes my mouth. I move my hands down and under his shirt, resting them on the taut flesh of his ripped abs.

A knock on the car window brings us back to reality, and we momentarily freeze in each other's arms. He groans and takes his hand out of my bra, and I remove my hands from his shirt, move away from him, and straighten my clothes. It's only now that I see all the windows are fogged over, and I can't see who interrupted us. There's another knock on the window and someone says in a low menacing voice, "I know you're in there. Come out and no one gets hurt."


	16. Chapter 16

Fear moves through me at an alarming rate, making me shiver. I love our spontaneous make out session in the car but what I wouldn't give if the windows weren't fogged over so I was able to see who is standing on the other side of Tobias' door threatening us. Do they really mean us any harm? Could this have something to do with Dad's attack? He leans over and retrieves the pistol he keeps hidden under the driver seat in case of an emergency, turns the car key to the on position, and slowly lowers the window about half way, pointing the gun out of it.

"Son of a bitch," Christina squeals when she sees the gun, then she moves her hands over her chest. "Why are you pointing a gun at me, Four? I was just trying to have a little fun." I lean over and glare at my best friend.

"Shit, Christina, you scared the crap out of us," I say. "It's a good thing Four can stay calm in these situations, or he could have really hurt you." I hear Tobias let out the breath he's been holding as he places the gun back in its holster, which is attached to the underside of the driver's seat. I get out of the car and slam my door behind me and walk over to Christina, scowling at her.

"I'm sorry I scared you, Tris. I guess with everything you've been through with your dad this week, I should have known better than to sneak up on you. I wasn't thinking. I was getting ready to meet Will and Tyler in the cafeteria for supper when I saw you two drive by, so I thought I would meet you," she says then she lowers her voice. "What were you two doing in there? I've only seen steamy windows like that in the movies." I frown at her. "Okay, fine. I'll drag details out of you later. Walk with me to the cafeteria. I'm starving." She puts her arm through mine, and we make the short trek from the garage to the cafeteria, Tobias following closely behind us but not saying a word. Of course, with the conversation that is flowing between the two of us, he really can't get a word in anyway.

When Tyler sees me walk through the cafeteria doors, he drops his fork and comes barreling straight toward me. I stop, kneel down, and let him run into my outstretched arms, nearly knocking me over. I suddenly realize I haven't seen him awake since Monday morning. I didn't grasp how much I've been missing him and a single happy tear runs down my face. I pick him up, he's as light as a feather, and carry him to our table. He was sitting between Uriah and Marlene eating his supper but doesn't want to go back to them. He wants to stay with me, which makes my heart swell, so I sit him down between Tobias and me so he can finish his plate of chicken, macaroni and cheese, and apple slices. When he's done he insists on sitting on my lap, which I oblige, and we even share a small slice of Dauntless cake when I finish my supper.

"How is your dad, Tris?" Shauna asks. "Did I hear you say he woke up?"

"Yeah, when Four and I got to his room this morning he was awake. His final sedation was taken off last night, and he woke up this morning. The doctors think he's going to make a full recovery," I say. "He can't remember anything from the morning of the attack though. I wasn't expecting him to but it would have been nice to know exactly what happened."

"I'm glad he's going to be okay," Ciara says. Everyone agrees with her. Soon most of our friends file out of the cafeteria for parts unknown. Only Zeke, Shauna, Will, and Christina are left sitting with us.

"I know you must be tired, Tris, but do you have time to do that thing we talked about Sunday night?" she asks. I look at Tobias and he furrows his eyebrows in confusion at me. He doesn't know I've already picked out my wedding dress, it's here, and in need of a fitting.

"Can it wait until tomorrow night?" I ask. We are supposed to get together to plan the wedding.

"No, it really needs done as soon as possible," she says.

"Okay, would it be alright if we combine that with the other wedding planning we were going to do tomorrow night? I'll probably be at the hospital then anyway," I say. She nods her head at me.

"Four, I'm going with Christina tonight instead of tomorrow night. We have some wedding planning to do," I say with a smile. Tears well up in Tyler's eyes, he stands up on the bench we're sitting on, and wraps his little arms around my neck right before he starts crying. The only time he's acted like this is when he's missing his mom. "Tyler, honey, what's wrong?"

"Twis, no go," he says, tears shining in his eyes. My heart contracts painfully and tears come to my eyes.

"I have an idea, Tyler," I manage to say, trying not to let my runaway emotions show in my voice. "Would you like it if Four takes you to the ice cream parlor? You like ice cream, and you haven't had any for a while," I say. "If you go to sleep before I get home, I promise I will wake you up and say goodnight. I really have to get some things done tonight since I've been spending a lot of time at the hospital with my dad." He releases me from his death grip, sticks his bottom lip out pouting, and nods his head at me. I raise my eyes to Tobias', and I see confusion on his face. Tyler is still clinging to me as we all walk out of the cafeteria onto the busy floor of the Pit.

"Tyler, buddy, you want a ride?" Zeke asks. He nods his head at him then yanks on my hand. I kneel down, and he kisses my cheek then goes to Zeke who puts him on his shoulders.

"Do any of you have an idea what that was all about?" I ask, watching Zeke rush through the crowd of Dauntless members with Tyler, who is now squealing with excitement, on his shoulders. "He's never acted this way unless he's missing his mom." Tobias and I lock eyes. It couldn't be, could it? My heart aches at the thought of Tyler thinking of me as his mom. No, it has to be something else. I shouldn't let my imagination run away with me. It gets me into trouble when I do that. "Four, I have my phone, text or call if you need me."

"Wedding plans?" he asks skeptically.

"Honest," I say putting my hand over my heart. "I know you said you'd be fine with getting married in your pajamas in the middle of the Pit but that isn't exactly my idea of a dream wedding." Although, I'm not entirely sure what my idea of a dream wedding is. Thankfully, Christina is helping me with the details. I stand on my tiptoes and place my mouth on his. When I pull away, a smile gradually turns up my lips. "Maybe we can pick up where we left off in the car when I get home."

"That can be arranged," he roughly says before kissing me passionately. Christina clears her throats, and we break apart. That's twice she's interrupted us tonight. I swear it's time for payback. I need to walk in on her and Will sometime. While Christina and I are walking to the boutique, I tell her about my parent's reaction to the adoption and everything that happened at the hospital the past few days. The only thing I leave out is the news about the baby but I know I'm going to give it to her sometime tonight.

"Can I ask a question?" I say while I'm standing on a little pedestal in the boutique's backroom in my wedding gown with Christina kneeling at me feet. "Has Tyler been clingy the past couple days? I'm trying hard to understand his reaction tonight. It kind of freaked me out. He's never really done anything like that before with me or Four, only Evelyn. It was heartbreaking for me. I didn't want to leave him."

"He's been asking almost nonstop where you are," Christina says, looking up at me. "I will admit he hasn't been the happy go lucky kid these past few days that we've all come to know. He didn't even want to eat cake with Uriah."

"Wow, that's not good. He loves cake _and_ Uriah," I say. "I had to promise I would wake him up if he's asleep when I get home to get him to stop crying. I think we need to make this as early of a night as possible."

"We have a lot to discuss but we'll try," Christina says, pinning the dress to fit my body exactly. "He just misses you."

"Christina, are you leaving any play in this dress," I say. "It seems a little tight."

"It's not tight, just form fitting," she says with a snicker.

"What if I get bigger, what happens then," I slowly say.

"Tris, your body isn't going to change that much in the next seven weeks," she says.

"Um ... it might," I say. I'm so nervous that it comes out sounding like a question. She looks up at me with a questioning look. I look around to make sure we are alone. I don't want this to become public knowledge yet and softly say, "Christina, I'm ... pregnant."

"What?" she shouts after she gets over her initial shock. "You're pregnant?"

" _Sshh!_ " I say. "Four and I don't want anyone to know but I had to tell you. You're my best friend, and you're already pregnant so if I have any questions I can come to you."

"How did this happen?" she asks, then she rolls her eyes and says, "I _know_ how it happened but what about the birth control shot?"

"Whatever poison Cameron gave me the night of the masquerade ball rendered the shot useless," I say, hating to lie to her but I can't chance telling her about the death serum. "We didn't know. Dr. Parrish didn't catch it. I'm six weeks along."

"Are you okay with this?" she hesitantly asks. "How does Four feel?"

"We're both _very_ happy," I say. "We were shocked at first. It wasn't the easiest news to hear. I mean, we have the adoption to think about. I imagine this is going to be one of the hardest times in our lives but woman give birth to twins and triplets all the time so having the babies approximately six months apart will just make them seem like twins. I hope."

"You're going through with the adoption?" she asks.

"Yes, of course," I say. "That little girl already feels like my own daughter, and Four feels the same way. We can't give her up. Plus we finally got the adoption paperwork signed tonight by Evelyn and the baby's father." I quickly explain to Christina who Ethan Black is.

"I'm happy for you," she says with a genuine smile on her face now that the shock has worn off. "I have some news, too. Will and I are having a boy. We just found out on Monday. Will is so excited he's having a son. He's strutting around here like a peacock." We laugh a happy laugh together. "Isobel said the pregnancy is progressing very well. I just want a healthy baby."

"I'm so happy for you ... for both of you," I say bending over to give her a big hug. The pedestal I'm standing on and shoes I'm wearing make me taller than Christina for once. She hugs me back fiercely until one of the straight pins she's using to alter the dress pokes me, and I let out a little yelp. "Sorry, a pin just got me." She lets me go, and I straighten back up so she can finish with the dress.

"Well I doubt you'll be showing by the wedding but with as small as you are your tummy might not be as flat as it is now. I'm going to leave some room for you to grow. I'll also leave some room in the bust, just in case you get fuller there also," she says. "I have to ask, is the only reason you told me you're pregnant because of the dress fitting?"

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I found out Sunday morning that I'm pregnant but I've thought of a million questions for you since then. I imagine if everything had been normal this week I would have told you sooner."

"Any questions you have, I'll be happy to answer," she says. " _If_ I have an answer."

"Do you ever ... irrationally ... want to kill Will?" I ask, not quite meeting her eyes. I don't want to know if she thinks I'm crazy or not. "Four keeps leaving the toilet seat up, and I swear I've plotted hundreds of ways to kill him. It's kind of disturbing to me but I can't seem to help myself." She lets out a little giggle, which sounds out of character for her.

"I thought I was the only one who did that," she says with a sigh of relief. "Will leaves his clothes on the floor right next to the hamper. Does he bend down and pick them up? _No_. _I_ have to, his pregnant girlfriend. I've asked nicely, I've screamed, I've threatened. Nothing seems to work. I have to bend down, pick his clothes up, and put them in the hamper if I want any piece of mind." We laugh at our guys' quirks.

After Christina marks the last alteration with pins, she carefully helps me out of the dress then returns the frock to its hanger and protective garment bag. She puts a tag on it stating my name and date of the wedding and hangs it on a rack in her office. We decide to go to her apartment to talk about the wedding details since all the documentation on what we've already decided is there plus it will be a shorter walk home than if we stayed here in the boutique. I think momentarily about checking on Tyler but I don't want to upset him if he has calmed down and is still awake so we go directly to her place.

Christina calls out for Will but it appears he isn't home yet. I wonder if he's across the hall with Tobias and Tyler. She gets the small black binder she uses for party planning out, turns it to the tab marked with my name, and sets it on the kitchen table between us after she makes a pot of coffee and pours us each a cup.

"Alright, we have your dress, which I will have altered as soon as I can so that you can have another fitting to see how it looks. Because of your little announcement tonight, I would like to do a final fitting two days before the wedding to make sure any needed alterations in the bust and stomach area can be made," she says then writes all the information down on the timetable. I need to remember to give her something extra special for her time.

"I need to thank you again for helping me plan the wedding," I say. "I don't know what I would do without you. Probably get married in my PJs on the floor of the Pit." Now she's looking at me like I'm crazy. "Sorry, it's something Four said to me. What else do we need to talk about?"

"We have the date set for the wedding and the menu planned out. Your dress and shoes are here. You decided against a veil. Unless you want something special for your hair, I have a lot of accessories I can use. The bridesmaid's dresses are here. Four's tux is here. I've ordered the groomsman's tuxes and shoes. The boutique has bowties and cummerbunds in various colors when you decide what color you would like. Four has the rings," she say, reading off her detailed list. "We need to discuss the location, the wedding officiant, colors, invitations, flowers, guest list, and the cake for right now. The main thing you need to decide and soon is the location. Without a place for the wedding I don't know what we'll do. Have you had a chance to think about where you would like to have the ceremony? There are several places here in the city and I've recently found out there's an old farmstead out amongst the Amity fields that's been renovated and made into a bed and breakfast and events hall. From what I've heard, it's really nice and romantic."

"Don't you think it would be a long trip for everyone to go all the way to Amity?" I ask.

"I don't know," she says. "It might be a hardship for your guests but who doesn't want to see what it's like outside the fence. It would also be convenient for you and Four. You could have your ceremony, reception, and honeymoon all at the same place."

"Four wants to take care of the honeymoon himself. That was our deal," I say. "You and I plan the wedding and he gets to surprise me with the honeymoon. I think we can scratch the farm off the list. I like the idea of getting married at the Navy Pier." She makes a notation about my decision in the binder.

"The Navy Pier?" she says. "Where?"

"I'd like it to be outdoors by the Ferris wheel but I would consider taking it indoors in the old Crystal Gardens building. Several years ago they reinforced the building to make it safe. I've heard of other couples using it for weddings and receptions. That could be an alternative to an outside wedding. I don't exactly know why the pier and the Ferris wheel have such a special meaning to Four and me, but they do," I say remembering my times on the Ferris wheel with Tobias. "I think I've made my decision. I would like the ceremony outdoors by the Ferris wheel with the reception under a big tent close by. If it rains then we can have the ceremony and the reception indoors at the Crystal Gardens. How does that sound? Do you think it is doable?"

"Very much so since your wedding is on a Wednesday. No one gets married on a Wednesday," she teases with a happy smile, making another notation in the binder. "That's probably the biggest decision you had left. Do you have any ideas about colors?" I think for a while, sipping my second cup of hot coffee.

"Why is this so hard?" I ask with a sigh. "I just want to marry Four and start our life together. Why does there have to be all these little decisions?"

"I'm going to do a lot of this for you. I already said I would," she says taking in my shifting mood, "but I need you to help with the basics: Who you want to be there, what you want your cake to taste like, what colors you want everything to be. Come on, Tris, help me out."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I think I had a bit of a mood swing there," I say with an apologetic tone. "I like the idea of black and white with a hint of red. I think that would be classy. I would like white roses in any bouquets and boutonnieres. I'll leave any other flower arrangements up to you. I think we should have chocolate and butter cream cake decorated with black, white, and red frosting."

"Keep the ideas coming," she says, excitement clear in her voice, writing my ideas down. "This is great! Do you have a guest list yet so I can get the invitations out?"

"No, Four and I haven't done that yet," I say. "We'll get to it in the next couple days. It's pretty basic though. All our friends, my parents, and my brother."

"What about your uncle and cousin?" she asks. I've only talked to Nathan and Callen a handful of times since Dru and Cameron's executions in January. I should make a greater effort to get to know them but I've been giving them their space so they can grieve.

"I don't know," I say. "I think I should at least invite them. They don't have to come. I'll talk to Four about it. I also need to talk to him about his parents."

" _You_ want to invite his parents?" she asks in disbelief.

"Do I _want_ to invite them? _No_ , not at all," I say. "But that doesn't mean he won't want them there." She looks at me skeptically. "I don't _think_ he wants them there, but we haven't talked about it. I don't want to make the decision for him without talking to him first."

"You're a better person than I am," she says. "I wouldn't even give Four a chance to invite Marcus." Sometimes I forget she knows all about Tobias' background. I start to say something to her when her front door opens and Will comes stumbling into the apartment.

"Hey, I didn't know you two were here," he says, slurring his words. I guess I was wrong about him being with Tobias and Tyler. He smells like a brewery. I've never seen Will like this. From the look on Christina's face, she is sitting there open-mouthed staring at him, she's never seen him this way either.

"I think I'm going to go," I say, suddenly feeling out of place. "Thanks again, Christina. I'll see you in the morning." When I close their door behind me, I hear them start to argue. I can't make out what they're saying because of the door and wall's soundproofing but I can tell she is extremely upset with him. I walk the few steps to my apartment, unlock the door, and let myself in. I'm fully expecting Tobias to be in the living room waiting on me but I'm surprised to see Tyler is still awake. It's 30 minutes past his bedtime.

"What are you still doing up, Tyler?" I say putting my hands on my hips like my mom used to do when I would get in trouble. It's Tobias who gives me a sheepish look.

"He insisted on waiting up for you," he says. "I told him it would be okay this one time. Isn't that right, Tyler?" He bobs his head up and down, gets off the couch and comes over to me. He holds his arms up to me and I pick him up.

"Should we get you to bed now?" I ask. When little tears start to form in his eyes again, it feels like someone just punched me in the stomach. "How about this? I'll stay with you until you go to sleep. You really need to go to bed or you're going to be cranky tomorrow." He lays his head on my shoulder as I carry him upstairs. Tobias already has him dressed in his racecar pajamas and ready for bed so I lay him in his little toddler bed and lie down beside him. He's so tired that within a few minutes he is sound asleep. I lie still for a few more minutes to make sure that when I get up, he won't wake up.

"What I wouldn't give to have a camera right now," Tobias softly says from the doorway. I raise my head and give him a warm smile. I manage to get myself out of Tyler's small bed without waking him, and meet Tobias in the hallway. I leave his door ajar like I do every night and follow Tobias downstairs.

"Tobias?" I ask after we sit down side-by-side on the couch. "I have to ask you something but I don't want to upset you." This piques his interest, and he cocks his head to one side and frowns a bit.

"What is it, Tris?" he asks.

"We really need to compile the guest list for the wedding, and I have to ask you something," I say. I'm quiet for a long time, working up the nerve to say the words. "Do you want to invite Marcus and Evelyn to the wedding? I know how you feel about your parents but they _are_ your parents. Is there a part of you, even a small part who wants to share this occasion with them?" He looks at me for a long while, staring deeply into my eyes causing butterflies to swarm in my stomach. He starts shaking his head slowly.

"No," he says, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Are you sure?" I ask. "I don't want you to look back over your life and wish you had them there."

"Thank you for being selfless enough to ask me. I know how you feel about them," he says then he puts his mouth on mine. "Obviously, Evelyn won't be able to make it since she's on bed rest, and there's no way in hell I want Marcus anywhere near us. This is _our_ special day, and I don't want any reminder of my hellish childhood on the day when my future truly begins." I smile brightly at him.

"How did you get to be so romantic?" I ask, caressing his cheek.

"It's you ... you bring out a side of me I never knew existed," he says. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Tobias," I say. I slowly move my mouth to his when there's a knock on the door. I sigh and hang my head. "I think I know who that is." I get up off the couch and open the door. "Come in, Christina."


	17. Chapter 17

Christina looks like death warmed over when I open the door to her. Tears are streaming uncontrollably down her pale, distraught face, and she falls into my outstretched arms. I barely manage to get her to my loveseat. I glance in Tobias' direction and see shock and slight distress on his handsome face. He looks incredibly uncomfortable right now. I know he absolutely hates it when I cry, so I can't imagine how he feels about seeing my best friend sobbing in my arms.

"How about I make you guys some coffee then make myself scarce," he softly says. I give him a warm smile and nod my head slightly in his direction. He goes into the kitchen, starts a pot of coffee, grabs his keys and phone, and heads out of the apartment. The minute the door closes Christina raises her red-rimmed eyes to mine.

"I'm so sorry I just barged in. Uh, I'm such a mess," she say, fiercely wiping the tears on her cheeks away with the back of her hands. She definitely is a typical Dauntless member, not wanting to show any perceived weakness to anyone, even her best friend. "Will and I just got into the worst fight that we've ever had. I told him I needed some time to myself and that I was going to take a walk so I could cool down but I don't want anyone seeing me this way. I hope you don't mind that I came over."

"It's alright, Christina," I say. "I remember a night not that long ago when I knocked on your door late at night, an absolute mess, and you were there for me, no questions asked. You are welcome here anytime. You know that. Do you want to talk about what happened?" She stares across the loveseat at me, not saying a word. I imagine this has something to do with the state in which he came home. I notice that the coffee pot stops dripping, so I get up and pour us each a cup. I bring the steaming mugs back to the living room with me and hand one to her before sitting back down beside her. "Talk to me, Christina. Maybe it will help you feel better."

"You saw him, Tris. He came home stinking drunk," she says, aggravation clear in her voice. "He's never done that before. I managed to decipher that he decided to stop at the bar for a couple drinks since you and I were at the boutique planning your wedding. He was celebrating our news about the baby being a boy. Apparently he had a lot more drinks than just _a few_. I didn't like seeing him like that, slurring his words, laughing like a fool, barely able to stand, acting like a total idiot ... which he isn't. And I told him just that but I decided that everyone makes mistakes so I would get over it but while we were discussing the situation _and_ his behavior, his phone rang. It was some _girl_ he gave his number to tonight while he was at the bar. You should have seen the look on his face. He didn't like getting caught. Why would he do that to me ... to _us_?" She automatically cradles her swelling abdomen in her arms. She looks like she is on the verge of tears or murdering someone, I can't tell which. Everything she's said sounds so out of character for Will. He's never even looked at another girl since he joined Dauntless. Why would he be giving his number out?

"Do you know if he's done this kind of thing before, giving his number out?" I hesitantly ask. Maybe there are things about my friends I don't know.

"Not that I know of. He lied straight to my face and told me he never gave his number to anyone, not tonight ... not ever," she says. "What should I do?"

"You may not want to hear this but you need to talk to him," I say. "How often has he been drunk?"

"We've had a few drinks from time to time but I've never seen him drunk before," she says.

"Remember when I told you about Four coming home drunk?" I say. She nods her head at me. "He is a _totally_ different person when he has alcohol in his system. He does things he normally wouldn't do when he drinks. Maybe Will is the same way. It's not an excuse but it's a possible reason for his behavior tonight."

"I don't think I can talk to him just yet, Tris," she says. "When I look at him part of me wants to hit him until he's feeling the same pain I'm experiencing right now, and the other part of me wants to crumple to the floor crying. I've never felt this way before."

"I totally understand, Christina. Just don't give up on him, okay. He loves you, you know that, and you love him. You also have your baby to think about," I say. "Do you want to stay here tonight? All I can really offer you is my couch. Our spare bedroom is set up as an office at the moment."

"No but if you don't mind I would like to hang out here for a while longer," she says. "I'm just not ready to go home quite yet."

"You want some more coffee? It's decaf," I say. "We can talk some more about Will or we can talk about something else to get your mind off things ... whatever you want."

"Yes, I would like some more coffee please, thanks," she says handing me her empty mug. I'm getting us each a refill when I hear Tyler start screaming. I immediately set the full mugs down and rush up the stairs two at a time and fly into his room. He's asleep in the middle of his bed, thrashing about. He hasn't had a nightmare like this in over a month. I sit on the edge of his toddler bed and gently put my hand on his back, hoping to calm him down. The minute I touch him his eyes fly open, and he looks around dazed and confused. When his eyes focus on mine, he climbs up the front of my body and wraps his little arms tightly around my neck. He has tears in his eyes and his little body is shaking.

"Hey. You're alright," I say rubbing his back. I hold him close, trying to comfort him but he isn't calming down. "It was just a bad dream, baby. You're alright. Tris is here." I kiss his cheek and feel him starting to relax in my arms. "Why don't we break the rules this one time, and you come downstairs with me. I'll put _Cars_ in, and we'll watch the movie with Christina. She's downstairs visiting me. How does that sound?" He nods his head but doesn't release his grip on my neck. I pick him up and slowly carry him downstairs. "Christina, how about we watch _Cars_ with Tyler? He just had a bad dream."

"Oh, that's too bad," she says. "But I would love to watch the movie with you. I've never seen it before. I hear it's your favorite. Hey, Tyler, why don't we try to talk Tris into making some popcorn? Does that sound good?" He nods at her but doesn't smile. I wonder what his dream was about. I've never seen him this upset.

"Will you do me a favor and sit with Christina while I make the popcorn?" I ask Tyler but he shakes his head no and continues to cling to me with all his might so I carry him into the kitchen. I try to sit him down on the island like I've done numerous times but he still refuses. I put the popcorn in the microwave and get some bowls out of the cupboard all the while holding Tyler in my arms. I take a couple glasses and a sippy cup out of the dishwasher and fill them with ice water while the popcorn is popping. When it's done I pour us each a bowl and ask Christina for some help. She comes to the kitchen and helps me with the popcorn and drinks then puts the movie in the DVD player for me.

We all sit down on the couch watching the old animated movie and eating popcorn. When Tyler's finished snacking he lies his head in my lap and quickly falls asleep. This time I don't move him. I just turn the TV off since Christina and I aren't really interested in the movie.

"You sure are good with him. He's lucky to have you," she says. "I can tell he loves you very much."

"I love him, too," I say, running my fingers through his curls. "I'm not going to lie, I'm going to die a little when he goes back to Evelyn after the baby is born and I don't get to see him on a daily basis. I don't like thinking about it. I know my greatest fear is going to come true."

"Why not try for custody of him then. There has to be a case for it," she sympathetically says. I meet her eyes and find nothing but concern. I really shouldn't be hearing this idea. It's too dangerous. It could give me hope, hope I don't deserve. "You and Four can give him a stable home in a faction with _two_ parents who love him dearly. That's better than a factionless single mother and a father who would rather have his wife not find out about his existence. I'm not saying Evelyn doesn't love him, but is she what's _best_ for him." I look down at the sleeping boy in my lap who stole my heart and think about Christina's idea.

"I can't do that to him. No matter how I feel about Evelyn, _she_ is his mother, and he loves her," I say, my heart throbbing painfully in my chest and tears pooling in my eyes. "And as much as I dislike her, I can't do that to her either. He is _her_ son, not mine." I hear Tobias' key in the lock then he walks into the quiet room. I quickly wipe the tears away not wanting to explain what Christina and I were just talking about. Hell, I don't really want to _think_ about it either. When he looks at me I can tell he notices my red-rimmed eyes but he doesn't say a word about them.

"I ran into Will when I was out taking a walk. He'd been looking all over the compound for you. I told him you've been here with Tris the entire time," Tobias says. "I hope you don't mind but he told me a little about your fight. He didn't remember giving his number to the girl who called. He also didn't think he should be as drunk as he is because he only remembers having three beers so I took him to the control room, and we checked the security footage. You really need to see this." He fishes his phone out of his pocket, finds the video file he's looking for, and hands his phone to Christina. She watches it soundlessly for about five minutes then hands it to me, no emotions showing on her face. The surveillance footage shows Will sitting alone at the bar chatting with the two bartenders, who both happen to be male. A woman with long chestnut-colored hair walks past and sits on the left-hand-side of him almost out of camera range. She seems familiar to me but it's hard to make out her face from the angle of the camera. She looks all around her then strikes up a conversation with Will. She seems genuinely interested in him but he just looks like he's being polite. He orders another drink then becomes distracted by a Dauntless member, a blonde-haired man with shocking pink highlights, for just a moment. When he turns his back to her, the woman slips something into his drink and picks up his phone. That must be how she got his number. I can't see exactly what she's doing because the camera angle once again isn't to our advantage but she has his phone in her hand longer than it takes to look up a phone number.

"Why does she look so familiar?" I say out loud, trying hard to remember where I've seen her before.

"She reminds me of the nurse who is always at the front desk at the infirmary," Christina says. I look at the security footage and study the face. That's exactly who I was thinking of.

"She does kind of looks like that intake nurse with the nasally voice. Erin, I think is her name," I say. "But it's hard to tell because you really can't see her face."

"I took Will to the infirmary for a blood test with the doctor on duty. Erin was the nurse at the reception desk. There's no way she could be in two places at once," Tobias says. "He should be here soon. I told Dr. Young to get me the test results when they are in to see if we have grounds for charges, _if_ we find out who this mysterious woman is."

"I didn't believe him when he told me he didn't give out his number," Christina says, tears swimming in her eyes once again. "I thought he was lying to me. I can't believe I thought the worst of him." There's a knock on the door, and Tobias lets Will in. He looks absolutely dreadful. He comes directly to Christina.

"Christy, I am _so_ sorry," he says, his words still slightly slurring. She gets up off the couch and goes straight into his outstretched arms, wrapping herself around him. "Dr. Parrish came in after you left, Four. He thinks I was drugged. He told me I'm the fourth guy to come into the infirmary this week with these symptoms. Unfortunately, he hasn't been able to find anything in the tox screen but since we had footage of something being put in my beer he's going to run an expanded panel. He's going to call you in a little while with all the details. Let's go home, Christy. I'm sorry we bothered you guys tonight but I am so thankful that I ran into you when I did Four. That crazy bitch could have ended my relationship and for what, a prank?"

"It was no bother at all. I'm glad I could help," Tobias says patting Will on the shoulder once. "You take it easy. If you need some time off tomorrow, let me know, okay."

"I don't think I will, but thanks," Will says.

"And thank you for letting me hang out with you and Tyler and cry on your shoulder," she says leaning over and giving me a big hug. "We'll see you tomorrow. Thanks again." They both leave and Tobias locks the door behind them and comes over and sits down beside me and Tyler on the couch.

"What's Tyler doing down here?" he asks, running his hand over the boy's head.

"He had a bad dream so I let him come downstairs with me. We had some popcorn and watched _Cars_ until he fell back asleep," I say. "I didn't want to chance waking him back up so I just left him where he was."

"You were crying when I came in," he softly says, cupping my cheek with his hand. I can't help but lean into it. "I was expecting Christina to be a mess, not you. Would you like to tell me what had _you_ so upset?" I tell him about my lengthy conversation with Christina about Tyler. A grave look crosses his face.

"I know it's an impossible dream, Tobias. I would never do that to him _or_ to your mother," I say, reaching over and gliding my fingertips down his cheek. We stare into each other's eyes for a moment.

"This isn't the night I had envisioned for us," Tobias says, capturing my hand with his.

"I know," I say, lacing our fingers together. "Me neither." His mouth is moving toward mine when we hear his phone ring and I sigh. We've had too many interruptions today, not that anything can happen when there's a sleeping toddler in my lap. He quickly answers his phone so the ringing doesn't wake Tyler up. He mainly listens to the caller, only grunting short responses here and there. He thanks Zander for the information then switches his phone off.

"He expedited the expanded tox screen but it won't be ready until the morning," Tobias says. "He's had four other men in the infirmary this week with symptoms of extreme inebriation but their blood alcohol have all been extremely low or nonexistent. Will's reading was a 0.036, which is less than half the legal limit for driving. It makes absolutely no sense that he was as wasted as he was. Let's not think about it anymore tonight. Let's just go to bed." He carefully picks Tyler up, not wanting to wake him up, and carries him upstairs while I empty the dishwasher then put the snack dishes in and clean up the kitchen. After I shut off all the lights, I go upstairs and directly into the bathroom to get ready for bed. When I finish with my shower I go into our bedroom fully expecting Tobias to be waiting for me but he's not. I start downstairs when I hear a subtle rhythmic squeaking in Tyler's room. I peek my head inside and find Tobias sitting in the rocking chair in the corner with Tyler, who is asleep with his head on his shoulder.

"He woke up again?" I whisper from the doorway.

"Yeah," he replies. "Do you have any idea what's wrong with him?"

"No, but I imagine he's missing his mom. He hasn't seen her in six and a half weeks. That's a long time for a child," I say walking up to them. "It's going to be a long night, isn't it?"

"I know we agreed never to let him sleep with us but we've broken all the rules tonight anyway," he says. "Maybe if he's with us he'll subconsciously know it and not have another nightmare. I don't think I could stand that. I don't know what else to do."

"It's fine with me," I say. Tobias manages to get up out of the chair without waking Tyler, and we head into our bedroom. After I turn down the sheets, he lies him down in the middle of the bed, and we snuggle in on either side of him.

"Good night, love," he says.

"Good night, Tobias," I say. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I momentarily wonder if I will be able to fall asleep without his comforting touch when I realize that our long day has taken its toll, and I fall into a dreamless sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Tyler has been exceedingly clingy for the past two days. He will barely let me out of his site for more than a minute at a time. I had to promise to not only walk him to daycare myself but also be the one who would pick him up both yesterday and today before he would finally relent and stop crying. I practically had to force him into the daycare center so he could play with his little best friend, Zane. I'm really worried about him. He almost seems depressed, which I know is not normal for a two year old. I tried to get him to tell me what's wrong but all he says is, "Twis don't go." I imagine he's missing Evelyn and needs to see her but the hospital won't budge on its rules, children under the age of 10 are not allowed in patient rooms. I've asked several times for a way for Evelyn and Tyler to see each other, maybe wheel her outside for a few minutes so he can see her but the hospital administration won't budge, not even for a miserable toddler who is missing his mommy. This is making me extremely frustrated. They don't have to see him cry and hold him when nightmares wake him up. I would love to just march him through the front door of the hospital and up to her room so they can see each other but it could get us banned, and I can't do that to Tobias. He's trying to forgive Evelyn and is becoming closer to his mother with each visit.

Just last night before we went to bed he relayed the story of how Evelyn met Ethan Black, which she told him one of the many times he visited her this week while I was visiting my dad. They grew up doors away from each other in Erudite and were best friends and absolutely inseparable. Ethan left for Abnegation two years before Evelyn and was engaged to Ellie when she made her decision to also join Abnegation. Apparently there was no romantic relationship until they reconnected years later when they ran into each other at a council luncheon. Their rekindled friendship quickly turned into something more when Evelyn confided in Ethan that her marriage had turned violent. She told Tobias that if they had known how their feelings would grow, they would have held out for each other instead of marrying other people. Upon hearing that his mother also grew up in Erudite, I idly wondered aloud if Evelyn knew my father. Tobias told me that they in fact did know each other because of common classes in upper levels but were never close. I thanked him for yet another piece of my father's mysterious past in Erudite.

"Tobias, I'm not sure we should leave Tyler with Avery tonight," I quietly say while we're cleaning the kitchen up after supper. We're supposed to go to Uriah and Marlene's apartment in less than an hour for the Candor or Dauntless party but I'm afraid of how Tyler will react to us leaving him with Avery. He usually loves her but he's just not acting like himself. "If he throws a fit, I'm not going to want to leave at all, and we promised Uriah and Marlene we would be there."

"Hey, Tyler," he says. Tyler turns around on the couch and looks at him. "Do you know that Avery is coming over tonight so Tris and I can go to a party? You want to see Avery don't you?" Tyler furrows his little eyebrows and tears come to his eyes and his little bottom lip starts quivering. Tobias stops what he's doing and goes directly to him and picks him up and holds him while he cries. He searches out my eyes, and I shrug my shoulders. I really wish I knew what was going on with him. I finish putting the leftovers in the refrigerator and go into the living room. Upon seeing me, Tyler immediately puts his arms out to me. I take him from Tobias and sit down on the couch with him.

"Can you tell me what's wrong, Tyler," I say, my heart breaking a little. "You sure have been sad this week."

"Twis, no go," is all he says, which is all he's been saying.

"I'll be here when you wake up. I promise," I say. "Are you sure you don't want to see Avery. You really like Avery."

"No Avey. Twis," he says stubbornly. If we keep letting him have his way, he's going to become extremely spoiled, and we don't want that but on the other hand I don't want to disregard his feelings. I look at Tobias who has joined us on the couch.

"Shall I call Avery?" he asks. I nod. "Okay. I'm going to pay her though, is that okay?"

"That's fine," I say. "It's short notice. Tell her we're really sorry. I'm going to go upstairs and get him ready for bed. Come on, Tyler. Let's get you ready for bed. You're going to come with Four and me to Uriah and Marlene's new apartment for a party." He almost gives me a smile when I say this. I put him down on the floor and reach my hand down and he takes it. We slowly walk up the stairs, he's still a bit wobbly on them and into the bathroom. I give him a quick bath then put him in a pair of fire engine footie pajamas. I ask him to play in his room for a little bit while I go get ready for the party. I put on as many layers as I possibly can without being too uncomfortable. I can't stand the thought of taking my clothes off in front of people even if they are my close friends. Tobias comes into the bedroom just as I'm putting on one of his zip up sweatshirts as my final layer. I look over my shoulder at him and notice that his layers make him look a full size larger.

"Are you ready to go?" he asks.

"If I had my way we wouldn't be leaving tonight. We'd shut off our phones and lock ourselves away but I know our friends well enough to know they would never let us get by with it." I say wrapping my arms around his waist and holding myself close to him. He tips my chin up so he can look into my eyes.

"We'll have fun," he says. "I promise."

"I know we will," I say. "Let's go." We leave our bedroom and Tobias picks Tyler up and carries him on his shoulders down to Uriah and Marlene's. We talk about our latest Dauntless troubles on the way. Zander determined that the five men, which unfortunately includes Will, were slipped a GHB derivative which didn't erase their inhibitions but lowered them drastically and made them forget their encounter with the woman who as of yet has not been identified. We've shown Will the tape of him and the suspect several times trying to jog his memory and ... nothing. We all find it odd and incredible frustrating because the night the drug was slipped into his drink he remembered everything that happened to him, he just seemed intoxicated but once he slept, the entire previous night was erased. That makes me think there are more victims out there who don't know they've been taken advantage of, and I say victims because we now know what she does with their phone. Somehow she accesses their points and helps herself. Each man has had various amounts stolen. The first victim we found had one day's worth of points stolen, and Will had a months' worth taken out of his account. Since we can't get her face on the existing cameras, bar-level surveillance is scheduled to be installed the beginning of next month. Hopefully, we can get a clear image of her face so that she can be arrested. When we get to their apartment near the Pit, we knock on their door and Uriah opens it to us.

"Hey guys," he says. "I didn't know you were bringing Tyler. Hey, buddy!"

"Hi, Wiah," Tyler says with a grin. Tobias takes him off his shoulder and sits him on his feet, and we walk into Uriah and Marlene's and look around. I saw the space after it was remodeled and there was nothing in it but it looks totally different furnished and decorated.

"Wow, Marlene. Did you do all this yourself?" I ask, taking in my surrounding. Against the far wall is a nice-sized kitchen with ebony-stained wooden cabinets and stainless steel appliance. In front of the bank of cabinets is a white-washed farmhouse table with plenty of seating that is full of scrumptious-looking refreshments. Tucked in the corner of the room behind the wrought iron spiral staircase that leads to their loft bedroom is a full four piece bathroom. Everything has a young, flirty, and fun appearance to it. Multicolored jewel tone polka dot pillows lie on the black couch, a rainbow colored throw is tossed over one of the two matching dark gray almost black armchairs. Each wall is a different color: Yellow, blue, green, and orange, and the far wall in their bedroom is stripped using all these colors.

"Yeah," Marlene proudly says. "Do you like it?"

"I love it!" I say. "It's definitely you."

"What about me?" Uriah asks with a pout, coming up behind Marlene. "Is it me?"

"I don't see any cake," Tobias says with a straight face. "I thought for sure any apartment you lived in would have intimate photos of you and Dauntless cake on every available surface."

"Not funny, Four," Uriah says but all our friends are practically rolling on the floor with laughter.

"I thought it was funny," Tobias says, mainly to himself.

"Everyone make yourself at home," Marlene says. "The bathroom is behind the stairs, and there are snacks and drinks on the table." I sit down on the couch and Tyler climbs up on my lap. Tobias gets us both a sparkling cider while I dig for Tyler's sippy cup in his diaper bag. After he returns with the drinks, he sits on the floor and leans up against my legs. We all sit around talking and laughing waiting for everyone to get here. Tyler sits quietly on my lap drinking his milk, and before long I notice he's fallen asleep. Tobias carefully lifts him off my lap and carries him upstairs and lays him down in the middle of Uriah and Marlene's bed then comes and sits again at my feet.

"Let's get this party started. You all know the rules. If you refuse the challenge, you have to take a piece of clothing off and shoes and socks don't count," Uriah says, excitement clear on his face. He loves a rowdy Candor or Dauntless party. "Okay, I'll start. Zekey," he says in a sing-song voice, "Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless, you little idiot," he says to his younger brother.

"I dare you to wear your underwear on your head for the rest of the night," Uriah says with a huge grin on his face. Zeke's mouth falls open and he turns slightly red. Although I've only played Candor or Dauntless a couple of times, I've never seen Zeke balk at a dare. He whips his shirt off over his head, and we all stare at him in disbelief. Apparently, this is the first time ever that he has backed down from a challenge.

"What?" he asks defiantly.

"You've never refused a dare before," Tobias says.

"I wouldn't now either except I'm not wearing any underwear," he says matter-of-factly. Everyone laughs even harder. "Enough about me. Four, Candor or Dauntless?"

After thinking about it for a moment, Tobias says with a sigh, "Candor." Disappointment crosses Uriah's face, and he makes a scoffing sound but nothing else. He knows better than to call Tobias a pansycake if he wants to live. At the last party, he did it, and Tobias punched him in the face and threatened him with death. I don't know if anyone else believed him but I personally did.

"Who was your first kiss?" Zeke asks, eliciting a frown from Tobias, like he really doesn't want to answer. Oh! I'm interested in hearing the answer to this one. I think I know who it was, but I could be wrong.

"Tris," he finally says like everyone should already know. I beam at his answer.

"That's what I figured," Zeke says, very proud of himself for actually pulling a personal response out of Tobias.

"Tris," Tobias says. "Candor or Dauntless?" I make a show of thinking about it, but I'm just too tired to do a dare.

"Candor," I say.

"Pansycake," Uriah yells at the top of his lungs, eliciting a frightful glare from Tobias but everyone else just laughs at him, and I shake my head. I don't mind his stupid little supposed put down. It's a part of who Uriah is.

"Who was _your_ first kiss?" Tobias asks, looking at me over his shoulder. I would think he knows the answer to this but I decide to play a bit, suddenly in a teasing mood. I cock my head to one side and look down into his sparkling blue eyes, my hands going to the zipper of my jacket. I unzip it and start to slide it off my shoulders, and his eyes widen to almost twice their size, then I start laughing.

"My first kiss was with you, Four," I say, putting him out of his misery and pulling my jacket back up on my shoulders. I lean over and give him a swift kiss as our friends chuckle at our teasing. I leave it unzipped as all the layers I have on are causing my body temperature to raise at an incredible rate or maybe it's just looking into Tobias' eyes that's doing it. I can tell by the smoldering glance he's giving me that we aren't going to be at this party very late. "Christina, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless," she says.

"Go to the Pit and ask strangers for a hug until someone hugs you," I say. She gets out of the chair she looks very comfortable in and a few of us follow behind her to the bustling floor of the Pit. She asks four different people for a hug before the fifth man shrugs his shoulders and gives her a big bear hug. She thanks him politely then we all go back into Uriah and Marlene's apartment.

"We're back!" Christina says. "That was pretty easy, and I got a big hug out of it! Marlene, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Candor," she says. Then she adds, "Shut it, Uri," at the same time he screams, "Pansycake." Everyone laughs.

"Which fear freaked you out the most during initiation?" Christina asks.

"Wow, there are so many to choose from. I'm not as fearless as Four or Tris," she says. "Killer bees stinging me all over my body. I can still remember each painful sting." A visible shiver runs down her spine. "James, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless," he says with confidence.

"I dare you to go to the cafeteria and steal us each a slice of cake," Marlene says.

"WooHoo!" screams Uriah. "I've been waiting for this dare all night."

"We've only been playing for like five minutes, idiot," Zeke says. Uriah just frowns at him.

"I hate this dare," James mutters. "Fine, I'll be right back but if anyone catches me, you're paying my fine, Uriah."

"Why me? Marlene dared you," Uriah asks, confusion and hurt on his face.

"Because she's only doing it for you," he says closing the door behind him.

"Can you let me up?" I ask Tobias. I returned to my place on the couch when Christina and I came back from the Pit and he leaned against my legs again. He moves away from me and I get up and pour some ginger ale, which I don't normally like but all of a sudden I'm feeling queasy.

"Are you okay?" Christina asks, following me into the kitchen. I run my hand over my tummy and sip the drink. "Oh, I see."

"I prefer when it hits in the morning," I tell her quietly. "It seems to linger when it happens at any other time." Just then the door flies open and James runs in with a full chocolate Dauntless cake in each of his hands.

"Close the door," he says between gasping breaths. "They're coming after me." Tobias gets up off the floor and closes the door just as two Dauntless patrol members come around the corner. They knock on the door and Tobias opens it.

"Oh, Four," one says. I join him at the door. "Tris. We thought we saw someone who stole two cakes from the cafeteria come this way. Have you seen anything?"

"Nope," Tobias calmly says while I hold my breath. "We're good here. Thanks." He closes the door then looks out the peephole until the guards leave. "We need to quit the cake dare before we all end up factionless because of it." I notice Uriah isn't wasting any time. He's in the kitchen cutting the cake.

"Candor or Dauntless, Tris?" James asks. Again already?

"Candor," I say. Uriah can't say pansycake because his mouth is full of cake.

"How many fears do you have?" James asks.

"Oh," I say. "Six." I kind of thought everyone already knew that.

"Really? Four and Six," he says. "You two really do belong together, don't you?" We both smile at him. He's right, we do belong together.

"Lynn, Candor or Dauntless?" I say.

"If you say pansycake, Uriah, I _will_ beat your ass," she says. "Candor." Uriah shakes his head, and the rest of us snicker.

"Have you ever had a one night stand?" I ask.

"Uh, no," she quickly answers.

"Will, Candor or Dauntless?" Lynn asks.

"Dauntless," he says.

"Go to the Pit and kiss the first person you see," she says with a grin and then she finishes, "on the mouth." Will lets out a big sigh.

"Fine," he says. He gets out of the chair he and Christina are sitting in then goes out the door. A few of us follow him down the hall and watch as he walks up to Peter of all people and gives him a closemouthed kiss right on the lips.

"What the _hell_ , Will!" Peter says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and spitting on the Pit floor but Will doesn't say anything. He just turns and walked back to us with a nauseated look on his face. Peter stands there staring at the back of Will's head with his mouth wide open. "That was totally uncalled for."

"I'm not sure I ever want to kiss you again after that," Christina teases when he gets to us then she starts laughing. She wraps her arms around his and leans into him, putting her head on his shoulder.

"I don't want to talk about it," Will says walking into the apartment.

"He kissed Peter," I say with a chuckle.

"Probably the only action Peter's ever gotten," Lynn says with a laugh.

"Ella, Candor or Dauntless?" Will asks when we all settle down.

She contemplates for a moment before answering, "Candor."

"Pansycake," Uriah screams, trying to make up for the two previous Candors he missed. I automatically glance toward the loft but don't see any sign of movement.

"How old were you when you went on your first date?" Will asks. A huge smile crosses her face.

"I was 12 years old and his name was Dillon Wade," she says. "Not only was he my first date but he was also my first kiss and my first boyfriend. I haven't thought about him in years! Those were the days." She sighs. "Ciara, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Yeah! My turn," she says with a huge smile. "Dauntless."

"I dare you to drink 10 shots of pickle juice," Ella asks. She automatically peels off her jacket and wrinkles her nose.

"I hate pickles," she says. "Kirsten, you know the question. What will it be?"

"Dauntless," Ciara says.

"Go out to the Pit and flash your boobs at the first guy you see," she says.

"Seriously! You're not very original, Cici," Kirsten says.

"Does that mean you're chickening out and taking something off?" she asks with hope in her voice. Kirsten is the female equivalent of Zeke, fearless and never turns down a challenge.

"Of course not," she scoffs. "Who's coming with me?" Half our friends jump up and follow her out into the hallway. Tobias and I stay behind. They aren't gone two minutes when they all come back laughing hysterically.

"That was great," Zeke says. "You should have seen that guy's face."

"It wasn't as priceless as his wife's face," Uriah says. "I bet you 10 bucks that they're still standing out there frozen in place wondering what the hell just happened."

"Shauna, Candor or Dauntless?" Kirsten says.

"I was wondering when you guys would get to me," she says. "Dauntless."

"I dare you to eat a raw egg," she says.

"Ew, no. That is disgusting," Shauna says taking her jacket off. "Uriah, Candor or Dauntless."

"Do I need to answer that question?" Uriah says.

"Put lipstick on Zeke without using your hands," Shauna says with a slightly evil grin on her face.

"How did I become a part of this?" Zeke asks.

"You love this game and you know it," she says. "So shut up and let Uriah answer. Are you going to do it or are you going to be a _pansycake_?"

"Alright fine," he says. "Marlene can you get me a lipstick?" She gets off his lap, goes to the bathroom, and comes back a moment later with a bright red shade that will go very well on Zeke. We all get our phones out in preparation of filming this dare. Uriah puts the open tube between his teeth then approaches his big brother. He gets close to his face and carefully paints his brother's mouth getting very little on anything but his lips. It's actually very impressive. It makes me wonder if he's done this before. He steps back, and we applaud, luckily not waking Tyler up.

"You two have done that before, right?" I ask trying to keep the grin off my face.

"No," they say at the exact same time, acting like I've offended them. The rounds go like this for a few more hours. The highlights of the night were when Shauna dared Zeke to lick the bathroom floor for two minute; Ciara dared James to cluck like a chicken every time someone said his name for the rest of the night, and it amazes me how many times we have worked his name into the challenges; Tobias dared Kirsten to go to the middle of the Pit and scream at the top of her lungs, "I am woman, hear me roar," then to start roaring; I dared Uriah to act out a death scene from one of his favorite movies in the middle of the Pit, and he got a standing ovation when he was done; and Ella dared Will to randomly ask people in the Pit for a slow dance while singing the song "Barbie Girl." He must have asked 10 people before he finally talked an innocent-looking young girl with bright pink curls to dance with him. When he stopped singing, the girl grabbed Will and laid a big fat kiss right on his lips. I've never seen Christina move so fast in my entire life. She told the girl that we were playing a game and if she ever touched her boyfriend again, she would kindly pound her into the ground. We had to intervene on the girl's behalf. She didn't know what is going on, and she walks away from us trembling. I momentarily wonder if there will be an incident report about this next week.

"Tris, Candor or Dauntless?" Will asks when we return from the Pit.

"This is going to have to be our last round, guys. We need to get Tyler home," I say. Everyone groans at me. Then I add, "Dauntless."

"Give your phone to James," he says and James sighs then clucks like a chicken, eliciting giggles from everyone, "and let him text anything he wants to someone on your contact list," he says. This sounds harmless enough so I dig my phone out of the pocket of the jacket on the floor and pass it to James. I didn't want to take another piece of clothes off because it would leave me in my bras and jeans. He thinks for a moment then sends a message to someone. Within a second he gets a reply and his face goes blank.

"What?" I ask. "Who did you text, James? What are they saying?" This time he doesn't cluck, not that I was wanting him to. I need to know what he did.

"I texted your brother telling him you're expecting a little bundle of joy," James says. Oh, shit, our secret! "He says, 'I know and why are you bothering me this late?'"


	19. Chapter 19

I can feel every eye in the room penetrating me right now trying to lift the meaning of my brother's response directly from my brain, and I know I'm about to turn a new brilliant shade of red. This is information Tobias and I had planned on keeping to ourselves until I'm at least 12 weeks along, and I'm not even a full seven weeks yet. Why am I so shy? Why didn't I just take my shirt off and show everyone my sports bra? It wouldn't have been a big deal. And how in the world did James come up with that particular joke for my brother?

"Well ... uh ... um ... I," I stutter. My breathing increases drastically, and I realize I'm panicking just as Tobias turns and looks at me with a concerned expression on his face.

"Tris, love, you need to calm down. Think of the baby," he quietly says before turning back to our friends. "This isn't something we were going to share with everyone for a while but we aren't going to lie to you either. You're our friends after all. Yes, Tris is six weeks pregnant." Everyone is silent, and I see shock on face after face looking at me, except for Will and Christina, they just have huge grins on their faces. Of course she told him. I wonder why I would think any different.

"Holy shit!" Zeke finally says, breaking the imposing silence, making me jump. "I'm glad your brother already had this news. That would have been a hell of a way to find out he's going to be an uncle."

"Are you going through with the adoption?" Shauna asks with expectation on her face. That seems to be everyone's first question for us when they hear our news but I can't say too much. It was one of the first things I asked Tobias after Dr. Parrish gave us our news.

"Yes, we are," I say, finally finding my voice. At last the panic subsides, and I'm able to breath normally again.

"Are you ... happy?" Ella carefully asks knowing that this could be a painful subject if we aren't pleased.

"Yes, we are," I say with a bright smile on my face, putting my hands on Tobias' shoulders. He reaches up and takes my hands in his and squeezes.

"Very happy as a matter of fact," he says. "We were just extremely shocked when we found out."

"Which was?" James asks, letting the question fade away.

"Sunday morning," Tobias says. "I came out of the shower and found her lying on the floor at the foot of the bed. I took her to the infirmary, and we were given the news after Dr. Parrish ran several tests."

"Well congratulations," Will says. He gets out of his chair and shakes Tobias' hand. We both get up from where we've been sitting most of the night and are receiving hugs, handshakes, kisses, and congratulations when I hear Tyler calling out for me upstairs. I break away from our friends and climb the steep spiral staircase to the second floor. I'm not sure I would like climbing one of these on a daily basis. I find Tyler sitting up in the middle of the queen-sized bed looking around and rubbing his tired eyes.

"Hey, buddy," I say to him and he smiles up at me. "You want to go home?" I think our announcement of my pregnancy officially ended the Candor or Dauntless game. He eagerly nods his head up and down while yawning. "Come here then." I hold my arms out to him, and he crawls across the bed. When he gets close enough, I lean down and pick him up. Then I kiss his little cheek and whisper, "I love you," in his ear. He hugs me tightly as I carefully carry him down the unfamiliar stairs.

"Are you ready to go?" Tobias asks when I reach his side.

"Yeah, I think we should get him home. It's awfully late," I say. "Will you pick up my extra clothes?"

"Sure," he says. He picks up my little pile of clothes I discarded and stuffs them in Tyler's diaper bag. "You want me to take him?"

"No, I've got him," I say, holding him close. I'm not ready to let him go just yet.

"Okay," he says. "Let me know if you change your mind or get too tired." He leans down and gently places his lips to mine and gives me a quick kiss. "Love you."

"I love you, too," I say. "Great party, Uriah, Marlene. I love your place. We'll see you later."

"Thanks, Tris," they say in unison and Uriah adds, "See ya, Four." We say our goodbyes to the rest of our friends and walk to the path that leads its way out of the Pit. About half way home, Nathan and Callen Wright come out of a dimly lit hallway and nearly run into us. It startles me more than it should because my mind was on the baby, and I really wasn't paying attention to where I was going.

"Whoa!" I say, my heart racing. "Hi, Nathan, Callen. It's been a while."

"Sorry," Nathan says, holding his right hand over his heart. I wonder if it's pounding as hard as mine is right now. "It has been a while. How are you? What has you out this time of night?"

"We're good. We were at a party at a friend's new apartment but Tyler woke up so we decided it was time to get home," I say. When Tyler first came to Dauntless, rumors were spreading like a wildfire, and we made the decision to announce who he was and why he was staying with Tobias and me, so we don't have to explain who the sleeping child is in my arms. "What about the two of you?"

"We're coming from a late supper at a friend's place," he says with a warm smile. "I'm sorry that we never had that dinner you invited us to. Maybe we can get together soon. I'd still love to talk to you about your mother."

"I would love that, too," I say. "Are you busy tomorrow night? Well I guess it would be later tonight actually. Four and I could make dinner, then we could have that talk."

"That would be great," Nathan says, then he turns to his son. "Callen, would you like to join us?"

"Sorry, Dad, I already have plans, remember?" he says. Nathan looks like he suddenly remembers something then nods his head. "Thanks for the offer though, Tris. That was nice of you." Callen seems very out of character for a Dauntless member. I wouldn't be surprised if he were to choose a different faction come Choosing Day but on the other hand I can't imagine him leaving his father after everything that's happened with his mother and brother.

"That's okay, Callen. Maybe another time," I say, returning his warm smile. "How about 7:30 p.m., Nathan? Is that a good time for you?"

"It is," he says. "I'll see you then." We say our goodbyes and go our separate ways.

"Nathan looks like he's getting along much better these days. So does Callen," Tobias says, looking over his shoulder at the backs of my departing uncle and cousin. "Let me take Tyler now. You look like you're tired." He reaches over and takes the sleeping boy out of my aching arms without waking him. We take our time returning to the Pire, and when we finally reach our apartment, Tobias immediately takes Tyler upstairs and puts him in bed. I can barely put one foot in front of the other and collapse onto the loveseat. I had a really good time tonight. Tobias was right, I needed the distraction and time with our friends but it's definitely past my bedtime. I can't wait for my head to hit my pillow.

"Do you want me to carry you up to bed also," Tobias asks. I slowly open my eyes to find him kneeling right in front of me, his dark blue eyes studying me carefully. Suddenly I'm not in the mood for sleep anymore. These hormones are giving me whiplash. I reach out and place my small hands on either side of his handsome face and pull his inviting mouth to mine. I gently move my lips with his for a moment before I run my tongue gently along his full bottom lip, signaling I want him to open his mouth for me. He doesn't disappoint, and I slip my eager tongue in seeking his, and we let them tangle intimately together for what seems like forever. When he moves his hot mouth to the sensitive skin of my neck, I let out a contented sigh. I leisurely run my hands down his body and move his shirt up and over his head. When I see he still has a skin tight black tank top on, I can't help but laugh, and he gives me a strange look.

"How much do I have to take off of you to get you naked?" I ask with a chuckle, running my hands up and down his body while kissing my way up his neck.

"Quite a bit I'm afraid," he throatily says. I look up at him and see a smoldering look in his dark eyes as he slowly runs his fingertips down my sides then takes my t-shirt off over my head. He furrows his eyebrows at me. "Two bras?" I giggle at his question. I have a sports bra and shorts on over a pair of skimpy black lace lingerie. "Maybe I should be asking how much I have to take off of _you_ to get you naked."

"Probably just as much as you," I say, pulling his mouth back to mine where it belongs. I manage to get his tank top off in between passionate kisses then I push him towards the couch until he's lying flat on his back. I lie down on top of him, giving him my weight, and leisurely kiss him for a time, letting my hands tangle in his hair before I kiss my way down his neck. I linger at his spectacular chest, thoroughly running my tongue around each nipple and kissing every inch of skin without actually touching the sensitive buds until they are standing erect and begging for my attention.

"You're killing me," Tobias roughly says, squirming a bit beneath me, moving his hands up and down my body making my desire climb swiftly.

"That's the idea," I say with a grin, moving further down his body placing wet kisses all around his navel as I unbutton then unzip his jeans. I can feel how much he wants me right now beneath my hands. He lifts his hips so I can slide his pants down his legs and off, well one of his pairs of pants. He still has shorts on over a pair of boxer briefs, and I can't help but laugh out loud again.

"What?" he asks, confusion clear on his face.

"You have so many clothes on. It's like unwrapping a never-ending present," I say with a chuckle. He laughs with me before I give him another kiss. When we need to breathe we both sit up, and he peels my sports bra off as I'm pushing his shorts down over his hips and legs. He unbuttons my jeans and pulls them down my legs, and I step out of them. Now he's laughing noticing I still have a pair of shorts on but he doesn't waste any time putting his hands on their waistband and sliding them down and off my body and throwing them to the floor.

"Maybe we should take this upstairs," I say in his ear. "I would hate for Tyler to walk in on us."

"You're right," Tobias says. He picks me straight up, and I tightly wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, leaving our discarded clothes where they fell. He carries me up the stairs and straight into our bedroom, never once taking his lips off of mine. He moves his mouth away from mine, gasping for air, and looks deep into my eyes as he shuts the door behind us. He leans us up against the heavy wooden door, and we stare at each other for at least a full minute before his hungry mouth once again lands on mine in a powerful kiss as one hand grips me tightly so the other can roam freely over my body. He pushes me harder into the door, our bodies practically existing in the same space, and pulls my bra strap down my shoulder with his fingertips so he can take my throbbing breast into his hungry mouth. He moves his free hand and snakes it around me and expertly unhooks my bra. I loosen one arm from around his neck, slide my arm free from the piece of black lace lingerie, then repeat with the other side and let it the garment fall to the floor at our feet. He lightly tugs on my sensitive nipple with his teeth causing a groan to escape my parted lips and my legs to grip his waist tighter. I tangle my fingers in his curls, pulling him closer to me as he switches breasts. He laps at my nipple while his free hand kneads my other breast. I rest my head against the door as Tobias uses his hot, wet mouth and talented hands on my throbbing, aching, tender breasts, driving me absolutely wild.

"I need you," Tobias huskily says, looking deep into my passion-clouded eyes. "Now."

"Then take me, Tobias," I whisper, my chest painfully heaving with exertion. "Right here, right now. I need you, too." He pulls his boxer briefs down with one hand freeing his massive manhood then moves my underwear to the side. He places himself at my moist entrance and buries himself fully within me with one powerful thrust. I gasp at the feeling of him deep inside me and pull his mouth to mine, kissing him with all the love I feel. I tighten my grip around his neck and clasp my ankles tightly around his waist. Tobias has his hands on my bottom, holding my full weight, slowly moving me up and down on his hard length. He moves his mouth to my neck and kisses the sensitive spot beneath my left ear. I immediately feel each touch, caress, and kiss between my legs.

"You are so damn perfect," he says in my ear, thrusting faster and deeper inside me, pressing me harder against the door.

"Oh ... God ... I ... love ... you ... so ... damn ... much ... To ... bi ... as," I say in his ear in between thrusts. We increase the pace and crash into each other over and over, giving ourselves fully to the other. Our mouths, tongues, hands, and bodies move in synchronized harmony, and I feel the familiar pressure start to build just below my navel. We writhe against each other, never getting enough. We increase our furious rhythm further until I explode into a thousand pieces, and he's the only one who can hold me together. He keeps slamming into me at a steady pace, whispering words of love into my ear until he stiffens and releases himself deep within my tight depths.

We let our harsh, uneven breath return to a more normal rhythm before he unburies his head from my hair and looks into my love-clouded eyes. I welcome his soft, pliant lips on mine once again. He kisses me enthusiastically before playfully biting my bottom lip as he pulls away from me causing a gasp to escape my lips. He carries me across the room, lays me on the bed, then follows me down, giving me his full weight, which I absolutely love and long for. We lie together like this getting lost in each other's eyes until he slides out of me, rolls off of me, then gathers me up in his arms.

"I love you, Tris," he says, caressing my messy hair.

"I love you, too," I say, tilting my head back to look into his eyes.

"We should probably get ready for bed. It's really late, and we can't chance Tyler finding us this way," he says running his hand over my naked breasts. If I weren't so exhausted this simple touch could light a new fire deep within me.

"No," I say, holding him closer. "I don't want to move just yet. I just want to lie here with you for a few more minutes."

"I'm alright with that," he says leaning down and placing his lips to mine once again. His hand wanders around my body never staying in one place for more than a few seconds.

"You might not want to kiss me that way and keep touching me if you want any sleep tonight," I breathlessly say, catching his hand in mine. "By the way, I'm taking tomorrow off."

"Yeah, I know," he says while absentmindedly playing with my hair.

"I'm not going to the hospital. They're releasing Dad sometime tomorrow, and he needs his rest. If he's up to it, we can take a couple hours on Sunday morning and go visit him," I say. "I know I have work that's being neglected but I'm going to spend the day with Tyler. He's been so clingy and emotional this week. He's been breaking my heart, and I'm worried about him. I think we need some one-on-one time, just the two of us."

"I think that's a great idea actually," he says with a yawn. He's just as tired as I am.

"Why don't you go get us something to wear," I say forcing myself to move away from his warm body, which is lulling me into sleep. He smiles at me then rolls out of bed and walks across the room to our dresser. I stare at every muscle and every curve of his naked body, cherishing the site. He fishes out a pair of sleep pants for himself and puts them on, eliminating the wonderful view and rummages through one of my drawers. He finally brings me my lone nightgown after turning off our bedroom light and opening our door, and I slide into it then snuggle up next to him again.

"Goodnight, love," he tenderly says in my ear. Then he bends down and kisses my tummy, "Goodnight, Peanut. Your daddy loves you so much." This act nearly brings tears to my eyes.

"Goodnight, Tobias," I say giving him a gentle kiss. I roll over in his arms, he pulls me against him like he has done hundreds of times before, and we fall together into a peaceful sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

I suddenly open my eyes and quickly realize that nausea woke me up. I struggle to free myself from Tobias' strong embrace, slide out of bed, and run as fast as I can into the bathroom. I kneel in front of the toilet just in time. Every time I feel like I'm done getting sick, a new wave of nausea washes over me, and I find myself face down in the toilet again. After about 20 excruciating minutes, I feel like I can finally get up off the floor. I stand in front of the sink and stare at myself in the mirror. I look kind of green, I'm visibly sweaty, and I have a sickly look about me. I pick up my toothbrush and thoroughly brush my teeth and rinse my mouth out.

"Hey, are you okay?" Tobias sleepily asks from the doorway. I turn and look at him. He frowns, comes over to me, and pulls me into his arms. He rubs my back with one hand as he lovingly strokes my messy hair with the other. "No offense, love, but you look like hell."

"I kind of feel like hell," I say into his chest.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" he asks, releasing me from his embrace.

"Do we have any ginger ale left?" I ask, the nausea making itself known again. "Oh, God," I moan. Ever since my first bout of morning sickness earlier this week, I've been drinking ginger ale to settle my queasy stomach even though I find the taste to be less than desirable.

"I don't think so but I'll be happy to go get you some more," he says. "Would you like anything else?"

"How about some crackers, too," I say. "I would really appreciate it, Tobias."

"Why don't you go downstairs and rest while I get ready to go to the store," he says kissing my forehead. When he turns to go into the hallway, I let out a startled gasp. He immediately stops and turns back to me, worry in his beautiful blue eyes.

"I must have scratched you last night ... a lot," I manage to shyly say, a blush coloring my cheeks. I grab his arm, turn his body away from me, and lightly run my fingertips down the four parallel lines about six inches long on his left shoulder and multiple marks over the rest of his back then kiss each and every one of the scratches. I don't remember scratching him but during the throws of passion I know I hold him tight and long for him to be closer still. "I'm sorry, Tobias."

"It's alright, Tris," he says turning back to me and lifting my chin so I'm looking in his devoted eyes. "I think I'll live." He smiles brightly, which erases my bad mood almost as soon as it began. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. I kiss him tenderly until he pulls away from me, and I let out a long drawn-out sigh. Tobias goes into our bedroom to get ready, and I make my way downstairs. I switch the stereo on then turn the volume down so it is just soft background noise and lie down on my side on the couch. I must have fallen asleep while Tobias was upstairs because the next thing I know I hear Tyler coming down the stairs dragging a blanket behind him. He comes to the couch and stands directly in front of me.

"Twis, you otay?" he asks, putting his hand on my cheek.

"I'm okay, honey. I just have a little tummy ache," I say to him, patting his little hand.

"Sit wit you?" he says.

"Sure, buddy," I say, slowly maneuvering myself into a sitting position. Luckily there is no nausea. He climbs up on the couch, and I put him on my lap, wrap us up in his blanket, and we cuddle together until Tobias comes back from the commissary with ginger ale, saltines, and graham crackers.

"Well everyone's awake," he says, putting the few groceries on the counter. "Do you want something to eat?"

"Actually I would like some eggs," I say. "What about you, Tyler? Are you hungry?" He nods at me. "Yeah, Tyler and I would love some breakfast. Do you want some help?"

"No," he says. "You stay right there. You both look awfully cozy. I wish I could join you."

"You can," I say over my shoulder. "There's plenty of room and breakfast can wait for a little while."

"Yeah, Fo," Tyler says, leaning over and patting the couch next to us. "Come sit."

"I can't argue with a command like that," he says with a laugh. He comes and sits down next to us, and we all cuddle close together on the couch.

"How are you feeling, Tris?" he asks me.

"Much better now, thank you," I say. "You probably didn't have to rush to the store to get me ginger ale but I appreciate that you did."

"You know I would do anything for you," he says.

"I love our life," I say looking into Tobias' eyes then kissing Tyler's head. "Promise it will always be this way."

"If you want our life to be like this, I'll do anything in my power to make sure that I can give it to you," he says leaning over Tyler's head and kissing me sweetly on the cheek. "I'll make us breakfast now. I love you, both of you."

After breakfast, Tobias kisses Tyler and me goodbye then heads off to work. I take a quick shower while Tyler plays quietly in his room then get us both ready for our day. I still haven't figured out exactly what to do so I decide to ask him.

"I'm not going to work today. What do you want to do, Tyler?" I ask. "It's your choice."

"Pawk," he says with excitement visible on his face.

"You want to go to the park?" I say and he nods his head at me. "Okay. How about we pack a lunch and go to the park."

"Yeah!" he says jumping up and down, clapping his hands together. "Go bye-bye to pawk with Twis!" Tyler and I slowly walk hand-in-hand down to the commissary in the Pit so we can buy a picnic lunch. After we say hello to Ella who manages the commissary, I lead him to our car. I decide to drive since it's a little far to walk by ourselves. I don't think I could carry him the entire way home if he were to fall asleep without totally exhausting myself. Tyler is so excited but I can't tell if it's because I'm taking him to the park or because he's with me.

I pull our car into one of the large parks many parking lots beside a few other vehicles. There are a handful of families here today, which is perfect. It's not too crowded that we won't enjoy ourselves but it isn't deserted enough to make me feel unsafe. I get Tyler out of the car, leaving our lunch in the little built-in cooler, and we play for hours on all the playground equipment: Slides, swings, seesaws, swinging bridges, merry-go-rounds, and more. I swear I must go down the slide with him a hundred times, and I stand in the same place swinging him for a good 30 minutes.

"I'm going to sit on that bench right there," I tell Tyler, pointing to a black and green wooden park bench. I need to rest but there is no sign of his energy fading. "You can still play." He climbs the stairs to the swinging bridge and runs back and forth for what seems like hours while I sit watching him.

"Hello, Beatrice," says a familiar voice. I look up over my shoulder and see a face I haven't seen in months.

"Robert, how are you?" I say surprised to see my childhood friend, Robert Black, who just happens to be Tyler's half-brother and the oldest son of Ethan Black, Evelyn's married lover.

"I'm good," he says sitting down beside me on the little bench. "What's brought you to the family park today?"

"I'm spending the day with my boyfriend's little brother, Tyler" I say. It's quite easy to see who I'm watching. Tyler is the only Dauntless child playing on the playground equipment. "What about you?"

"I'm here with my girlfriend's family," he says. "We come here quite often when we're in the city. I thought it was you sitting here alone so figured I would come over and say hello." A young girl dressed in yellow and red with flowing strawberry blonde locks comes running up to Robert with a ball in her hands.

"Robby, are you going to play or not?" she asks, pouting. Robby? I've known him my entire life, and I've never heard anyone call him anything other than Robert.

"Yeah, I'll be over soon," he says. "I'm saying hello to an old friend I grew up with."

"Okay," she says. She frowns a bit as she looks me over. I hope she doesn't think there is anything between the two of us. "Just hurry. We're all waiting for you. Mom said we can't start until you're there." She runs back to a small group of Amity playing with a couple different balls in an empty field across from the playground.

"That's Rachel, my girlfriend Martha's little sister. She's very spirited," he says.

"Not used to it are you?" I ask, remembering our rather passive Abnegation upbringing. "Tyler has so much energy. When Four, that's my boyfriend, and I started watching him, he would run me ragged. I wasn't used to kids acting like that."

"Life outside Abnegation is a total mystery that I've enjoyed investigating," he says with a warm smile.

"I know what you mean, Robert," I say with a chuckle. It's nice to talk to another person who has gone through similar life experiences to my own.

"Well it was nice seeing you again, Beatrice," he says giving me an awkward one-armed hug.

"Twis, Twis. Who this?" Tyler asks running over to me, full of curiosity. I hold my breath as Robert takes in the sight of the toddler standing in front of him.

"This is my old friend Robert," I finally say. "We grew up together in Abnegation."

"Hi," Tyler says with a happy grin on his face. "I Ty."

"It's nice to meet you, Tyler," Robert says. If he's suspicious about Tyler's familiar looks, he doesn't say anything about it, and he doesn't let it show. I'm able to breathe a sigh of relief at this turn of events.

"Goodbye, Robert," I say trying to cut this unexpected reunion short. "It was nice to see you again."

"Bye, Beatrice," he says. "It was nice seeing you, too. You've really changed over the past months. It was nice meeting you too, Tyler." He gets up off the bench and jogs across the street to where his friends are patiently waiting for him, never looking back.

"Are you ready for lunch?" I ask Tyler. He nods his head so I go to the parking lot and get our lunches out of the cars cooler. We head to one of the weather-darkened concrete picnic tables under one of the stately oak shade trees throughout the park. We eat turkey sandwiches, baby carrots with dill dip, sweet potato chips, and apple slices with caramel dip. We even share a lemon-lime soda after we each drink a bottle of refreshing water. When we're done eating, we play for another couple hours.

When I notice Tyler slowing down, I suggest we head for home, and he doesn't even argue with me. We aren't in the car five minutes when I glance in the rearview mirror and see that he is out like a light. Luckily I texted Will before we left the park and asked him to meet us in the underground garage to help get Tyler home since Tobias is visiting Evelyn at the hospital this afternoon. I pull into the garage and find Will patiently waiting for me beside our usual parking place.

"Thank you so much, Will," I say after getting out of the car. "I really appreciate this. I probably could get him home myself but Four keeps telling me to think of the baby."

"I'm happy to help, Tris," he says with a smile. "I would like to think that Four would help Christina if she needed help moving something heavy and I wasn't around." He carefully picks Tyler up out of his car seat without waking him up and carries him to my apartment for me. He even puts him in his bed. I thank him profusely, and he assures me that he was happy to do it. I take advantage of the alone time to lie down in bed to rest up from our rambunctious afternoon outing. I didn't think I was tired enough to fall asleep but the next thing I know I'm opening my eyes finding Tobias lying next to me running his fingers through my hair.

"What time is it?" I sleepily ask.

"A little after 5:00 p.m.," he says. "How was your day with Tyler? What did you two do?"

"It was wonderful," I say. I tell him every detail of our outing including running into Robert.

"You really think Robert didn't recognize his own father in Tyler?" Tobias says, furrowing his eyebrows.

"He didn't seem to," I say. "Where is Tyler?"

"Downstairs watching _Cars_ ," he says with a "you already should have known that" kind of grin on his face. "He was in his room playing with his dump truck and fire engine when I got home. I took him downstairs and told him I was coming up here to get you. He seems much more like his happy old self. Thank you so much for that. I was so worried about him."

"I'm glad he's doing better," I say. "I was worried, too." I reach up and run my hand down his cheek then move my lips to his. I kiss him for a time making sure not to ignite a fire we can't put out not only because Tyler is awake and watching a movie downstairs but because we have company coming in less than two hours. I sigh after pulling away from him. "I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too, Tris," he says. "Why don't you get ready for tonight, and I'll start the spaghetti sauce."

"Okay," I say sitting up. "Oh, how's Evelyn?"

"Unfortunately, she wasn't feeling very well today but the nurses assured me the baby is fine. They think it was morning sickness," he says sitting up also.

"I'm glad the baby is okay but I feel bad that Evelyn's not feeling well," I say. I think about my unpleasant morning sickness from just this morning and I can't help but sympathize with his mother, something I never thought I would do. "Does she know about Peanut? Did you tell her?" I automatically put my hands over my tummy when I talk about the baby. I think it's a reflex.

"No, she doesn't know," he says. "We'll tell her together sometime. It doesn't have to be anytime soon."

"Are you sure, Tobias? She is your mother," I say. "We told my family and our friends. We can tell your family if you want to."

"I don't want to," he says matter-of-factly getting out of bed. He paces in front of the bed for a moment before he stops and looks at me. "I know it may seem like I've been getting closer to her these past few weeks but that isn't entirely true. I'm trying, I swear but sometimes I can't even look at her without remembering the hell that her leaving put me through. I'm sorry I haven't told you any of this but I still have trouble thinking about her let alone talking about her."

"I had no idea, Tobias," I say, getting out of bed and wrapping him in my arms. He puts his chin on top of my head and sighs. "I'm sorry. We'll tell her whenever _you_ are ready." Before I let him go downstairs to start supper, I go up on my tiptoes, and wrap my arms around his neck. I draw his mouth to mine and kiss him passionately.

We go our separate ways after we break away from each other, a little more breathless than either one would like. He goes downstairs to start supper, and I go into the bathroom to get ready for our company. I take a quick shower, washing off my hectic day then dress in a long-sleeved dark gray knee-length wrap dress and black leather boots that hit me a few inches below my knees. I do my hair and put on my typical natural-looking makeup before I run a bath for Tyler. I retrieve him from in front of the TV and get him ready for bed. I have to promise that he can watch the rest of the movie before he will come with me though. Tobias almost has to intervene but Tyler finally relents and agrees.

"You look beautiful," Tobias calls out to me as I'm climbing back up the stairs with Tyler right behind me. I tell him thanks as a blush colors my cheeks. After I give Tyler a bath and dress him in a pair of dinosaur pajamas I let him pick out, Tobias comes upstairs to take a shower and get dressed. He tells me that supper is totally under control, and there shouldn't be anything for me to do but sit with Tyler until Nathan comes over. At a few minutes before 7:30 p.m. there's a knock on the door. Tobias tells me to stay put, and he invites Nathan inside.

"Wow, something smells absolutely incredible," Nathan says, taking in his surroundings.

"Four made homemade spaghetti and meatballs," I say getting up from the couch to greet my uncle. "I'm so glad we could do this tonight." I feel Tyler pull on the hem of my dress, and I pick him up. "Nathan, I would like to formally introduce you to Tyler, Four's little brother. Tyler this is my Uncle Nathan. Do you remember Natalie?" He nods his head at me. "This is her brother like Four is your brother."

"Hi," Tyler says reaching his hand out to Nathan. "I Ty." Nathan takes Tyler's little hand in his and shakes it.

"Well, Tyler, you have to be the best behaved boy I've ever met," Nathan says with a warm smile. "It's really nice to meet you. I wish my son Callen could have made it tonight but he already had plans with his friends."

"If you would like to have a seat at the island, I will serve supper in just a few minutes," Tobias says. He has already set four place settings at the island with our good china, which we've never used before, two on the far side of the island and two on the right side, which is a better setup for conversation. I put Tyler in his regular booster seat then sit down beside him and Nathan sits down beside me. Tobias puts serving bowls of pasta, spaghetti sauce with meatballs, lettuce salad with Italian dressing and Romano cheese, and large slices of buttery garlic bread on the island then fills each goblet with ice water and the wine glasses with sparkling cider. He gets Tyler's sippy cup of milk out of the refrigerator, hands it to him, and then finally sits down on the other side of Nathan. We let our guest serve himself first then I dish out some food for Tyler and myself. While I am cutting up Tyler's supper so he can better eat it, Tobias serves himself.

We have a lovely supper. Tobias has outdone himself with the food. It is absolutely the most delicious dinner I've ever eaten, and I've had a lot of his home-cooked meals over the past six months. We talk about Dauntless current events and what our hopes are for the upcoming initiates. Nathan voices his concerns as to whether Callen will stay or go, a worry for every parent throughout the city when their child turn 16. He is very open about the fact that he and Callen both have sought out extensive counseling since finding out about Dru and Cameron's betrayal and witnessing their interrogations and executions. They are slowly coming to terms with what was done to them as well as countless other people. Nathan feels partially responsible for Cameron's actions even though he had no control over his oldest son, especially after he left Dauntless. But what he feels the worst about is looking back over what he thought was a perfect life with his wife and two sons and seeing the signs of how unhappy Dru was with everything and everyone. He didn't even know about Dru's assault by Dawson Andresen. He knew she spent more than a week in the infirmary after what he was told was a nearly fatal accident but she never felt close enough to him to confide her greatest secret. He wishes he could have helped her but he knows she never loved him the way he still loves her.

When we are done with supper, we take our conversation into the living room. Tobias and I sit side-by-side on our love seat and Nathan sits on the couch. Tyler is quietly playing with a book full of wooden puzzles at the foot of the stairs.

"He amazes me," Nathan says staring at the quiet toddler. "He is the best-behaved child I've ever seen in my life."

"He is remarkable," I say with a huge smile.

"Has anyone told you how much he looks like the both of you," he says still eyeing Tyler.

"The first time I saw him it amazed me how much he looks like Four, except for those eyes," I say. "I swear he has my eyes."

"I saw the exact same thing," Tobias says, putting his hand on my knee.

"He could easily pass as your biological child," he says making my heart ache. He doesn't know what his words are doing to me right now. He doesn't know that I already think of him as my son.

"Tell me, Nathan," I say. "What was it like growing up in Dauntless with my mom?" I want to get the conversation off of Tyler as soon as I can. "She's told me a little bit about your parents but I would really like to hear what you think about them." I know that Caleb and I have different views on things so I imagine that my mom and her brother do too.

He tells us almost the exact same story that my mom told Tobias and me back in December when we were trying to figure out if Nathan had anything to do with the lists. He tells us his father, Henry Jackson Wright, was a critical man who was very hard to please and that he died young simply because he drank too much and fell into the chasm one evening after he had an altercation in the bar. There were rumors at the time around the compound that the man who he assaulted in the bar actually pushed him into the chasm but it was never proven. This is the reason why Nathan never touches alcohol and never allows it in his home. He loved his father simply because he was his father but he had no respect for him as a man. He now knows that he withdrew from his family after his father's death. He wanted to make sure that he didn't turn out anything at all like him so he taught himself how to be a good Dauntless soldier or what he thought that would entail. He got into a little bit of trouble growing up with his friends but nothing serious.

He tells us that he loved his mother, Grace Elizabeth Teagues Wright, with everything he had until her death 12 years ago from heart failure. According to him, she was the sweetest, kindest, smartest, most caring person he has ever known in his entire life. In his opinion, her one downfall was how much she loved his father. Nathan encouraged his mother to go out and meet new people and perhaps find someone new to share her life with but she never did. Apparently, she loved Henry Wright faithfully until the day she died more than likely from a broken heart.

He tells us that he and my mother were inseparable when they were children. They did everything they could do together and not because they were forced by their parents to do it but because they actually liked spending time with one another. They were extremely close until their father died. He blames himself fully for their falling out, as he put it. He now wishes he would have told her how he was feeling instead of shutting her out. He was disappointed and completely baffled when Mom chose Abnegation over Dauntless. He tells me that she was the most Dauntless of him and all his friends. He wasn't expecting her to leave, not at all. He knew she had mentioned a boy from Erudite once during upper levels but he didn't know it was serious enough for them both to leave their factions and join another one just so they could be together. He doesn't hold any ill feelings towards my mother, he just misses her terribly and has ever since the day she left.

"She even has a small tattoo under her arm," he says catching me off guard. I can't imagine my mother having a tattoo. "She is the only person I've ever known to get one before initiation. When she did that, I thought for sure she would stay."

"Did she have a lot of friends?" I ask. Mom told me about each of Nathan's friends when we talked but he hasn't mentioned a single friend of hers but neither did she come to think about it.

"She had one close friend named Annora ... Jenkins, I think," he says. "She transferred out of Dauntless the same year as your mother but I never heard where she went." He smiles widely then continues. "They were like two peas in a pod. They did _everything_ together. As a matter of fact, Annora is the one who talked your mom into getting the tattoo but Annie chickened out at the last minute and never got one herself." Annie? Hmmm, Mom's best friend in Abnegation first name is Annie. I wonder if it is the same person. He glances at the clock on the wall and his eyes widen. It is well after midnight. We've been talking for hours. "I really should get going. I didn't mean to overstay my welcome. I've had a lovely time tonight." We all stand up and he moves towards our door.

"It was great listening to your stories about Mom and my grandparents, and you didn't overstay your welcome. You are welcome here at any time," I say. "Thank you so much for coming over tonight. We should get together more often."

"I would like that," he says reaching out and pulling me into a quick embrace. "You remind me so much of your mother at times ... and my mother for that matter. The next time you see her, please give her my love."

"I will, Nathan," I say and then he leaves.

"What a wonderful night," I say to Tobias who is in the kitchen cleaning up. He sat quietly listening to Nathan and me all night except when he put Tyler to bed so our dinner is still sitting out. I help him so we can go to bed together. It doesn't take us long before the kitchen looks brand new and we head upstairs to get a good night's sleep.

"Have you heard from your mom today?" he asks while he's putting his pajama bottoms on. I keep my eyes averted because I'm much too tired to make love to him tonight but I know the flames of desire will burn through me wanting me to change my mind if I see him in his spectacular nakedness.

"She texted me a little after noon and said Dad is home," I say after I finish brushing my teeth. "I asked if we could visit tomorrow and she told me she will get back with me in the morning. Let's go to bed. You must be just as exhausted as I am."

"I am," he says, taking my hand and leading me into our bedroom so we can get a good night's sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**_A/N: Warning, this chapter contains atypical violence and stronger language than I normally use. Read at your own discretion._**

* * *

 _I hope this isn't going to be a new mourning ritual_. I tightly clasp my hand over my mouth and run as fast as I can to the bathroom and get sick. This is the second morning in a row that nausea has woken me up. I would rather have Tyler wake me up at 5:00 a.m. every day for the rest of my life just to cuddle instead of being here on my hands and knees in front of the toilet feeling as if my insides are about to come out my mouth all at once at any moment. After the horrific sensation finally subsides, I thoroughly brush my teeth then step into the shower stall for a long, hot shower using my new invigorating green apple body wash, shampoo, and conditioner. I'm hoping the scent will fully wake me up and get me ready for my day. When I'm nearly finished, I hear the bathroom door open, and I see Tobias stumble in half awake.

"Want to join me?" I ask, sticking my head out the shower door after he relieves himself. He smiles brightly at me, shuts the bathroom door, and joins me in the shower. We play for a time, laughing, teasing, and running our hands all over each other's slippery bodies. I even wash his hair and every inch of his hard body.

"You want to?" he roughly asks, desire and love mingling in his lust-darkened eyes. I don't have to think twice about his proposition. I was about ready to ask him the exact same question. He hastily pulls my mouth to his, kissing me almost brutally. I feel his powerful desire pressing against my stomach. He powerfully pushes me back against the cold tile wall and runs his sure hands up and down my small body. One large hand finally stops at my small, throbbing breast, kneading softly causing an aching want to localize between my thighs, while his other hand finds my moist center. He deliberately enters me with two fingers and circles my aching nubbin with his thumb as I firmly grasp his throbbing, hard length with my small fingers, gliding my glove-like fist easily up and down with the assistance of the water. He impatiently puts his lips on mine and kisses me fiercely. When I open my mouth to his probing tongue, he eagerly thrusts it in and mates it with mine. He quickens the in-and-out pace he sets with his fingers, and I match his speed with my fist on his manhood. When he removes his fingers, I release him from my firm grip. He effortlessly lifts me straight up, and I tightly wrap my arms around his neck and legs around his hips. He buries himself to the hilt with one forceful thrust causing a lustful gasp to escape my parted lips. He carefully turns us around and sits down on the little shower seat in the corner so that we won't fall on the slippery tile. My feet easily touch the ground in this position, and I'm able to lift myself until just the head of his aching shaft is still inside my tight, wet womanhood then force myself back down fully as he powerfully thrusts his hips upwards. His mouth crashes into mine, catching my passionate scream. I hold onto him tightly as I writhe and wriggle against his hips, feeling my orgasm climbing to incredible heights. We move together faster and faster until I shatter round him in a fulfilling release as he empties himself fully into my depths. I rest my head on his broad shoulder for a time letting my heart rate return to normal and I feel his arms tighten around my waist holding me to him. He puts both hands on either side of my face, pulls my mouth to him, and kisses me tenderly.

"Wow, we should do that every morning. I'd rather have _you_ wake me up than the nausea I had this morning," I say, staring into the depths of his stormy blue eyes while running my fingers through his hair. "I love you, Tobias," I whisper against his lips before kissing him lovingly.

"I love you, too, Tris," he says with a chuckle, his lips still on mine. "I'm sorry about the morning sickness." I finally lift myself off his softening manhood and pull him to his feet. We quickly repeat our shower then get ready for our day knowing full well that Tyler's in his room waiting for us. I send Tobias downstairs to make us some breakfast and get Tyler dressed.

"I hope everyone is hungry," Tobias says over his shoulder when Tyler and I come down the stairs. "I made blueberry pancakes and bacon. Milk is already on the island." I know this probably isn't the best thing for me to be eating right now but at the mention of what he fixed, my stomach growls loudly.

"It sounds great to me," I say lifting Tyler into his booster seat.

"By the way, I think you have a message on your phone," Tobias says, putting a platter of pancakes on the island. "It's been buzzing since I started making breakfast."

"Thanks," I tell him. I walk to where my phone is being charged and listen to the voice message from my mom. "Dad had a restless night. Mom doesn't think it's a good idea for him to have any visitors today. Well, there goes our plans. I'll let you decide what you want to do today, Tobias." I make Tyler a plate while I watch Tobias working in the kitchen. I know what Tobias and I would be doing all day if Tyler weren't with us but he is so I shake off the thought. I put his pancakes in front of him and he digs in. Maybe I didn't give him enough supper last night. He seems awfully hungry this morning.

"Slow down, Tyler, or you might choke," Tobias says noticing him shoveling his breakfast in also. "What would you like to do today? I'm going to leave it up to you, Tyler." Tyler's eyes light up as he takes a bite of the crispy bacon. I wonder what he'll want to do today.

"Pawk," he says.

"You want to go to the park again today?" I ask. "We just went there yesterday. I think you need to think of something else to do like swimming or baking cookies."

"No," he says, shaking his head stubbornly. He looks exactly like Tobias right now. "Pawk."

"Tyler has spoken, the park it is," Tobias says shrugging his shoulders at me. We eat the rest of our breakfast then go to the commissary to pack a picnic lunch just like Tyler and I did yesterday.

Tobias drives us to the exact same play area we visited yesterday and parks the car. I notice that there aren't a lot of people around again but I feel perfectly safe since Tobias is here with us today. We play for hours, chasing each other and climbing over every inch of the enormous jungle gym. We use the slide so many times I lose count. Thankfully, Tobias pushes Tyler on the swing today as I sit resting on the little bench while I watch them. Around noon, I go to the car and retrieve our lunch from the cooler. I spread the blanket I brought with us on the ground under the large oak shade tree and unwrap the ham sandwiches and open the packages of chips, carrots, apples, and dips. When I have everything ready, I call them over, and we have a leisurely lunch. After we're done eating, Tyler goes back to the play area while Tobias lies down with his head in my lap.

"Do you want to go home?" I ask as I play with his curls. "You look tired." I run my fingertips along the shadows under his eyes.

"Tyler's having too good of a time to leave yet," he says, raising his head off my lap and looking at his little brother. "Let's give him some more time."

"Sounds good to me," I say. We lounge on the blanket watching Tyler run himself ragged for over an hour. Just when we decide it's time to go, I see Dr. Parrish and his family approaching us.

"Tyler!" Zane screams, running toward his best friend.

"Zane!" They run toward each other and give one another a big hug. Zane takes off for the slide with Tyler right on his heels. It's going to be like pulling teeth to get him to go home now.

"Tris, Four, it's really nice to see you," Zander says as he sits down on the park bench next to us.

"Hi, guys," Tobias says as I say, "Hello!"

"Those two kill me," Stella says watching Zane and Tyler run after each other all over the place. "They have so much energy." We watch all the kids, expect for Avery – she is sitting on the other side of the tree reading a book – play on the jungle gym.

"I wish I had a quarter of their energy," I say with a sigh. "I'd like to bottle it and sell it. I'd make a lot of money."

"I would partner on it with you," Stella says with a laugh.

"Tyler, I'm going to give you 10 more minutes then we're going home," Tobias says. Tyler frowns at us then starts pouting.

"If you don't mind Tyler can stay with us," Zander quietly says making sure that Zane and Tyler can't overhear us. "Zane would love to spend more time with him.

"He hasn't had a nap yet," I say. "He could be grouchy."

"I've raised six kids, Tris," Stella says. "I can handle grouchy." Tobias looks at me and I nod.

"It's okay with me," I say. "We'll ask him."

"Tyler, come here," Tobias says. He comes running over to us. "Would you like to stay here with Zane and his family? Zander and Stella will bring you home later." He stands in front of us for a while.

"We're stopping for ice cream before we go home, Tyler. You're more than welcome to come with us," Avery says, peeking from around the tree.

"I stay with Zane," Tyler finally says before throwing himself into my arms. He hugs me tightly then kisses my cheek.

"Have fun, buddy," I say giving him a big kiss before he takes off.

"Thanks, Stella, Zander," Tobias says. "Text me when you get close to the compound, and I will meet you in the garage."

"Sounds good, Four," Zander says, shaking his outstretched hand. Tobias picks up the blanket, shakes off the debris, folds it, and slings it over his arm. We walk hand-in-hand back to the car after saying our goodbyes. We wave at Tyler and our friends as we drive away from the park.

"Do you want to stop and see your mom," I ask.

"Not really," he says. "What do you say about spending some time in the training room? It's been ages." Excitement rushes through me at the mention of one of my favorite places in Dauntless. He's right, we don't get to the training room enough these days.

"It sounds great," I say, leaning over and quickly kissing his lips, which he turned to me at the last second. When we get back to the compound we park the car, go straight home and change into workout clothes.

"Do you remember the last time we were here together?" I ask as we go through the heavy metal door that leads into the training room. The sweat, metal, and dust smell hits me in the face and comfort washes over my body.

"Together?" he says then smiles. "I brought you down here the morning of the Christmas party for target practice."

"I'd been feeling so down, lost, and out of control, and you knew exactly what to do," I say. "Did I ever thank you for that?"

"Yeah, you did, repeatedly," he say. "What would you like to do today?"

"Target practice, of course," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Of course! I should have known that," he says with a grin. He goes to the locked metal cabinet on the wall and retrieves two guns and plenty of ammunition. He loads both guns and hands one to me. I line myself up with the target just like Tobias taught me my second day of initiation, raise the weapon, and empty it into the target, hitting the center each time. A smile brightens my face. I reload the gun several times and as I repeat each step, I feel a little more centered. I hear his phone buzz, and he looks at his message.

"They just left the park and are going to stop for ice cream at a parlor in the city," he says. "When they're on their way home, Zander is going to text me again. Apparently, Tyler is being really good. He'll need a short nap when he gets home or he'll be a bear later."

"Did you expect anything less?" I say.

"I better get these guns locked back up." I step to the other side of the room where the long row of punching bags hangs while he locks away the weapons. I start my hour-long workout routine and am almost half way through when Tobias' phone sounds again. He stops his workout and goes to his phone.

"They just left the ice cream parlor and are about 20 minutes away," he says. "Do you want to walk with me to the garage and pick him up?" I look at him for a moment.

"I think I'm going to stay here and finish my workout," I say. "I'll meet you at home. It's my night to cook but maybe you could think of something for me to make. My mind is a blank."

"I'll think of something. Don't be long," Tobias says. "Tyler will be missing you after playing with Zane all afternoon."

"I promise, I won't be long, Four," I reply. I stand on my tiptoes and place a light kiss on his lips, trying to avoid touching his sweaty body. "I just want to finish this workout. I love you."

"Love you, too, Six," he says with a huge grin on his face. I shake my head at him right before his eager mouth lands on mine, kissing me passionately, and he presses every inch of his sweaty body is up against mine.

"Go," I say, pushing him away from me and drawing an agonized breath through my lips, "before I do something I can't be held accountable for." I step closer to him and put my mouth to his ear. "Like ripping your clothes off and taking you right here on the mat." He pulls away from me with an even bigger grin on his face.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, little girl," he says. I put my hands on hips and cock my head to one side. "Maybe I'll let you do that to me later though."

"Go, Four," I say, pointing toward the door. He kisses my cheek then turns and jogs out of the training room, looking back at me with a huge grin on his face as the door shuts. My stomach tightens thinking about what it would be like to make love to him in the middle of this room, which has become so much a part of me. Maybe ... one day. I move to the punching bags to finish the rest of my routine that I have memorized and think about what I will let Tobias do to me after Tyler goes to bed.

The sound of the slamming door brings me back to reality. I expect to see Tobias thinking he forgot something but Peter stumbles into the room instead. I haven't seen him around the compound much since he helped us on New Year's Eve, which I'm grateful for. Ever since he announced that he is in love with me, it's been very awkward. I'll see him watching me from time to time in the cafeteria, the Pit, and other places. I'm grateful for his help with Cameron but I wish he'd never said anything to me about his feelings. I turn my attention back to the punching bag wanting to finish my work out trying to ignore his presence. An odd feeling sweeps over me, and I turn my head to the right. Peter is standing within a foot of me with a passive look on his face. I nearly jump out of my skin.

"What are you doing, Peter?" I ask, my heart rate accelerating.

"Why didn't you chose me?" he asks. The smell of alcohol floats across the limited space between us and fear starts to creep up on me. Alcohol can make people do things they normally wouldn't do. "I told you that I love you and ... nothing. You never said anything, you just used me to save yourself. You're still with that walking, emotionless robot of yours. Did you even think for one minute that I might be better for you than _him_?" Anger immediately replaces the approaching fear, and I slap him across the face hard leaving a perfect outline of my small hand.

"Don't you _ever_ talk about him like that," I say. I turn to leave but he roughly grabs me by the throat and pushes me through the punching bags toward the back of the room. He shoves me hard against the stone wall, holding me tightly by the throat, not allowing me to move. I grasp at his hands trying to get him to loosen his grip on me but it does no good. His other hand roams slowly but freely up and down my body. Bile starts to rise into my throat. I want to scream but he has such a tight hold on me that a whisper wouldn't come out right now.

"I think it's time you find out what it's like to be with a real man," he says, crashing his lips into mine. I keep my mouth still as he attempts to kiss me. He gets angry when I don't respond, and he releases his hold on me and punches me in the jaw making my eyes water. One hand goes to my throat and the other goes to my jaw. I flashback to initiation as pain shoots through my face. Eric made me fight Peter the morning after he had Tobias throw knives at me for standing up for Al. Peter put me in the infirmary for over a day with just one punch.

"You promised," I say, still holding my jaw, grasping for anything that will make him stop. I hold my other hand out in front of me hoping to stop anything else he tries. He looks at me with hate and lust in his eyes. "When you told me you loved me on New Year's Eve, you said you were sorry for every bad thing you ever did to me and that you would never hurt me again, Peter. You're hurting me. You promised. Please think about what you're doing." He looks in my eyes for a long moment before he takes two steps forward so that every inch of his body is pressed up against mine and gets right in my face. I have to turn my head to get away from his foul-smelling breath. He places one hand on my pregnancy-swollen breast and squeezes almost brutally and his other hand gropes between my legs. I'm pushing him away from me but he doesn't budge. Tears moisten my eyes but I hold in a scream. I refuse to show him any fear.

"I'm going to fuck you tonight," he says matter-of-factly. My eyes widen, and I can't help but stop breathing. "That's all I've ever wanted since I saw that tight, little, perfect body of yours when I stole your towel in the dorm that day during initiation. I'm sure you remember that don't you but I bet you didn't know that you made me hard almost instantly. I'm hard right now." He forces my hand down to feel the stiff bulge in his pants. "I was going to do it the night at the chasm but Drew and Al weren't very helpful. As a matter of fact Al didn't want any part of it. Drew didn't mind but he wasn't as eager as I was, and then Four got in the way. Well he's not here now, is he?" He puts his mouth up to my ear and whispers, "I'm going to shove my big, fat, hard dick in that hot, tight pussy of yours, and if you're good, I'll even fuck that tight little ass of yours and your hot, wet mouth. I bet you've never done _that_ with Four, you guys being _Stiffs_ and all. As a matter of fact, I think that's what I'm going to start with right now. Get on your knees." He heartlessly shoves me down to the floor. I'm gasping for air as I think of what he just said. Oh, God. He's going to rape me. I've got to get away from him. He can't do this. I can't let him do this. Why didn't I just go with Tobias when he asked me to? Peter rips his t-shirt off over his head and unzips his jeans. I think I'm going to start hyperventilating but I manage to scramble to my feet and run through the punching bags to get away from him but he knocks me down again and kicks me hard in the stomach, knocking the breath out of me. Oh God, my baby.

"Don't, Peter," I beg when I can breathe again, protectively covering my abdomen with both of my hands, tears silently streaming down my face. "I'm pregnant." He stops momentarily, furrowing his eyebrows like he's not sure what the words I'm saying mean but then a murderous look crosses his face. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to tell him. I was hoping it would make him stop and think about what he's doing but it only seems to have made him angrier.

"You let that bastard put a _baby_ inside you?" he screams, then he punches me hard in the nose. "Slut!" I feel blood start to flow down my face and the back of my throat, choking me. My vision goes black around the edges while I'm coughing and sputtering. _NO_ , I can't black out. If I do, there's no doubt I'll wake to him on top of me, inside of me, and I can't have that. I hold on to the light as he takes his erection out of his jeans and tries to put it in my mouth.

"NNNNNOOOOO!" I scream at the top of my lungs, turning my head to the side and kicking out at him. My leg connects with his foot, and I try to get away from him again. This time when he tries to kick me in the stomach, I see it coming, and I move at the last minute. His foot hits me very hard in the right hip, and a loud, agonizing scream bursts through my lips. He forgets my mouth and manages to get my yoga pants off while I'm trying to scramble away, and I can't hold the terror back. Tears are streaming down my face so hard that I can no longer see anything. I roll myself up into a ball when I feel his hands on the waistband of my lace underwear. "NNNNNOOOOO!" I scream hoping someone, _anyone_ will hear and help me. "HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP! _NO_ , Peter. You can't _do_ this. Please stop. _PLEASE_. NNNNNOOOOO!"

"Will you just _SHUT UP_ ," he says, punching me in the nose again with his balled up fist. Once again the power behind his punch tries to make me black out but I hold on to consciousness with all my might. Then I see someone fast approaching us, and they literally pick Peter up and throw him a good 10 feet away from me. Whoever it is, they don't check on me they just start pounding and stomping and kicking and beating him. When I realize Peter somehow managed to get my underwear off, I can't control the sobs moving through my body. If whoever saved me hadn't heard me, he would be inside me right now. My stomach lurches, and I vomit all over the floor.

"Tris?" I hear. It's Zeke. "Oh, my God. Did he?" His words trail off, and he doesn't finish his sentence. I can't speak. I can't do anything but sit here rocking back and forth sobbing, my head down and my arms tightly around my knees. He gathers me in his arms and holds me close to him. Someone comes into the room, and Zeke tells them to find Four and have him go to the infirmary immediately. "Do you think you can stand up?" I look into his face and he flinches. I must not look very good.

"I don't know," I say, barely above a whisper, pain shooting through my face. "He kicked me in the stomach, Zeke. He also kicked me really hard in the leg. He was trying to kill my baby."

"Shit! Are you having any pain or cramping?" he asks.

"No," I softly say.

"Here, let me help you," he says. He helps me to my feet, and the pain makes it very hard to stand. He assists me with putting my underwear and pants back on then gently sweeps me up into his arms and carries me out of the training room.


	22. Chapter 22

Zeke carries me as gently yet as quickly as he can out of the training room, down the path, through the Pit, and into the infirmary yet I feel each and every step he takes vibrate throughout my entire body causing me increased pain. I feel hundreds of pairs of eyes land on me during our speedy journey, and I momentarily wonder how much confidence the Dauntless members can have in me when I'm constantly being taken to the infirmary for one reason or another. I'm surprised they haven't revolted and asked for a new leader.

Zeke doesn't stop to answer questions or for the instructions Erin, the intake nurse who is sitting behind the reception desk, is desperately trying to give. He just pushes his way through the heavy double doors that say "Staff Only Beyond This Point" and takes me directly into the nearest examination room and carefully lays me down on the thinly padded metal examination table and backs up until he runs into the bright white painted wall. Erin must have summoned the doctor because Dr. Young and several nurses come rushing into the room mere seconds after Zeke puts me down. I hear various words swirling around my head but I don't comprehend that questions are being asked of me. I finally hear Zeke say something but what he says doesn't sound right. He keeps saying the word rape. I start shaking my head but I still can't say a word.

"Tris, can you tell me what happened?" Dr. Young asks with more compassion than I thought he was capable of. Just then the examination room door swings open and Zander and Tobias come rushing into the room. When Tobias sees me, he stops in his tracks and staggers back a few steps.

"I don't want him in here," I wail, trying to hide my face from him. "Get him out of here." I see pain transform Tobias into Four right before my eyes. It must feel like I'm rejecting him in this moment but the truth is I can't have him seeing me like this, having him know what Peter did.

"Come on, Four," Zeke says grabbing his best friend by the arm and literally dragging him out of the examination room. "She needs some time."

"I'll stay with her," I hear Zander say. "I need everyone to please leave the room, except for Emily." I hear a lot of shuffling then the door close. "Tris, can you please look at me?" I open my eyes, which I didn't realize I had closed, and turn my head towards the sound of his voice. "Are you sure you don't want Four to stay here with you?"

"Yes, I'm sure," I say matter-of-factly, the thought making me panic.

"Okay, calm down," he says, sensing my anxiety. "What about Christina or another one of your friends?"

" _No_ ," I say. "I would like to get this over with as soon as possible."

"Alright. I'm going to ask you some questions about your health history including your recent sexual history. I'm not asking you these things to make you uncomfortable. This information will help me not only treat your injuries but also help with the prosecution of your case if you decide to press charges." He opens my chart, which is getting quite lengthy, and jots some things down. "Okay, Tris, I already have the date of your last menstrual cycle from your visit on Sunday morning. I marked down that you are seven weeks pregnant. Can you tell me the last time you had sexual intercourse."

"Four and I made love this morning," I say with no emotion, staring straight ahead. He notes this in the paperwork he's filling out.

"What medications, prescribed and over-the-counter, are you taking?" he asks. I'm surprised this information isn't in the chart already.

"I'm only taking the prenatal vitamins you prescribed," I say, avoiding eye contact. "I took one acetaminophen tablet this week for a headache but you told me that was okay."

"That's what I thought, but I figured I would double check, and you are right about the acetaminophen. It is okay to take it while you are pregnant," he says. He takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes. I only see concern. "Now I need you to tell me exactly what happened tonight." I take a deep breath of my own and relay every detail of Peter's attack.

"Please, Zander, I need to know if my baby is okay," I plead, my hands resting on my abdomen. "He kicked me right in the stomach."

"We'll do an ultrasound to check on the baby as soon as your examination is done," he says. "You said he also kicked you in the hip. Which one?"

"The right one," I say.

"Were you able to put any weight on it when you stood?" he asks, still making notations in my chart.

"Yes, but it hurt ... a lot," I say. "Zeke had to help me."

"Can you tell me if anything else hurts?" he asks.

"My nose is absolutely killing me. My jaw hurts where he hit me, and my stomach also hurts where he kicked me," I softly say. Repeating my injuries takes me back to the room that used to be like a second home, takes me back to _him_. I wonder if I will ever be able to step foot through its doors ever again without feeling his hands on my body.

"Are you experiencing any cramping?" he asks, worry in his eyes. This is the first sign of apprehension I've seen in him, and it raises my anxiety level.

"There's a throbbing ache where he kicked me but no cramping," I say, my eyes mirroring his. I _can't_ lose my baby. If I do, I will _kill_ Peter with my bare hands.

"Okay," he says. "I'm going to leave you with Emily. She will be collecting some evidence. When she is finished, I will come back and do a thorough examination and the ultrasound. Depending on my findings I might also order an x-ray of your right hip. You hang in there. We're almost finished." After he leaves the room, Emily helps me out of my clothes and into a hospital gown. This is the first time in my life that I don't complain about having to wear the exposing garment. I just want the clothes that he touched off of my body. They can burn them as far as I'm concerned. She puts my t-shirt, yoga pants, bra, and underwear in individual plastic bags and seals them as evidence and puts them in a large box. She scrapes under my fingernails for any DNA that could convict Peter of my assault and puts the tool and scrapings in a special envelope, seals it, and also places it in the box. Next she takes extensive pictures of my injuries, which makes me feel like I'm being assaulted all over again. I have to keep reminding myself that we need this evidence so Peter can be tried for his crime.

Zander comes back into the room about five minutes after Emily is done doing her duty and talks me through every step of the thorough physical examination. I actually scream and cringe away from him when he puts his fingers on my nose. That's not a good sign. When he finishes, he pulls the ultrasound machine across the room and turns it on. He puts a paper drape sheet over my stomach and legs, exposes my lower abdomen, squeezes a good amount of cold, clear gel across my tummy, then runs the ultrasound wand through the gel over my belly searching for Peanut. When the familiar sound of my baby's fluttering heartbeat fills the room, I can feel myself physically start to calm down. As long as Peanut is okay, I can deal with anything. After a slight adjustment of the wand, I can see Peanut on the color screen as well as hear his or her heartbeat.

"I don't think your hip is broken but I want an x-ray just to be on the safe side. We'll finish up when the films are ready," he says. Emily helps me off the examination table and into a wheelchair and wheels me down the hallway to the x-ray suite. The familiar-looking technician positions me this way and that, taking several views of my hip after putting a lead apron on me to protect Peanut. I think he is the same 12-year-old looking guy who helped me the night I fell off the path. When he's done, he allows Emily to help me back to the exam room.

I'm lying on the uncomfortable examination table, staring at the ceiling when Zander comes into the room carrying several x-rays. He slides the films into the light box on the wall beside me one at a time and studies each one carefully. I see him run his finger along one of the images and lean in close to examine it.

"As I suspected, your hip is not broken but I am afraid your nose is," he says. "You have several contusions on your body and your eyes are black. How is your pain level?" I close my eyes and concentrate on the physical pain and try to block out the psychological pain. My face just plain hurts as does my hip.

"About a 5/10. Is pain medication safe, Dr. Parrish?" I ask. "I don't want to do anything to hurt the baby."

"I'll prescribe something that will take the edge off and won't harm the baby," he says. "Apply ice to your nose to keep the swelling at bay. That will help with the pain level also. It wouldn't hurt if you iced your hip also. You can go home any time you like."

"If you don't mind, I would like to stay here tonight just to be safe," I say. "It's a long trip back down here from The Pire if there is something wrong with the baby."

"I'll set up a room for you," he says. Then a serious yet caring look settles on his face. "Should I send Four in now?"

"Not tonight," I say. "I want to clean myself up before I see him. Please tell him he can come back in the morning."

"Are you sure, Tris?" he asks. "This is me speaking as your friend and not as your doctor. You are going to need him to help you through this. Don't shut him out."

"I'm not shutting him out, Zander," I softly say. "I'm trying to wrap my head around what Peter did and tried to do. I just need a little time to myself. That isn't too much to ask is it? Please tell him to go home and take care of Tyler."

"Alright, Tris," he says with a nearly inaudible sigh. I can tell he thinks I'm making the wrong decision. "I'll tell him." He takes the x-rays and leaves my room. Not five minutes later Emily comes in, administers some much-needed pain medication, and transfers me to a large, quiet, private room.

When she leaves me alone, I slide off my bed onto my feet and pain shoots from my hip down my leg. I hobble into the adjoining bathroom and turn the shower on. I slide the hospital gown off my shoulders and let it pool at my feet on the cracked tile floor. I step into the small shower, let the hot water wash down over my aching body, and pick up the sterile-smelling bar of soap with trembling fingers. As I'm scrubbing Peter's touch off every inch of my skin, emotions finally overwhelm me and tears stream down my face. My heart starts to race, and my breath gets caught in my throat almost choking me. I collapse to the shower floor in a heap and sob into my hands thinking about everything that happened and everything that could have happened. When the river of tears run dry, I force myself to my feet, shut the water off, and wrap myself in the paper-thin, well-used, stiff towel provided by the infirmary. Once I dry off, I put the hospital gown back on and curl up in the fetal position in the middle of the uncomfortable infirmary bed. I stare at the plain white wall trying to keep my mind off Peter when I suddenly hear a knock on the door. I straighten up in bed and see Tobias standing stoically just inside the door looking anywhere but in my eyes.

"You're not supposed to be here, Tobias," I say, my heart aching. He shouldn't have to see me like this. "Didn't Zander tell you what I wanted?"

"I'll go," he says, hanging his head. Right before he turns to leave, I see devastation on his beautiful face and it threatens to crush me.

"Wait, please don't go," I murmur. "I can't stand that I'm hurting you. I'm not meaning to. I just need some time alone." He slowly turns back toward me, and I see tears swimming in his usually strong eyes.

"I love you so much, Beatrice Prior. I can't stand that I wasn't there to help you when you needed me most. Then when I finally made it to your side, you sent me away. It almost ... killed me. I won't pretend to know what you're going through right now but I want you to know that I'm here for you ... you can't get rid of me," he says. We stare at each other. "I'm not going anywhere."

"He didn't ... rape ... me, Tobias, but he would have if Zeke hadn't intervened," I manage to say, finally understanding that he needs to know what happened to me today. He's probably thinking worst case scenario. I know I would be. I see relief flash on his face. "He came in to the training room just after you left. He said absolutely ... _horrible_ things to me." I can't keep my voice from breaking remembering what he said. "He put his hands on me when I didn't want him to. I said no ... I screamed it actually. He punched me. He kicked me. He tried to hurt Peanut. He wanted to _kill_ our baby." He approaches me cautiously and sits down on the side of the bed. I wrap my arms around him, and we cry together for what seems like hours. "Where's Peter?" I'm suddenly worried he will come back to finish what he started.

"We don't know," he softly says, caressing my hair. "He must have come to and taken off while Zeke was rushing you here."

"Zander says everything is okay with the baby but I'm going to stay here overnight just to be on the safe side. I want you to go home so Tyler can sleep in his own bed. He doesn't deserve yet another disruption. He's just a little boy."

"I would rather stay with you," he says.

" _Please_ , Tobias. I need some time alone, to process. I need you to understand and do this for me," I say. "Go home and take care of Tyler then come back in the morning." He kisses the top of my head and slides his hand down my cheek, measuring each move carefully before taking it.

"I'll go but I'm putting Simon and Tony on your door. I'm not taking any chances," he says. "I'll be back first thing in the morning. I love you. Sleep tight."

"I love you, too," I say. "More than you know."

"I will kill him for this," he softly says before quickly leaving the room. _Not if I find him first_.

I roll over on my side and pull my knees up to my chest. I groan when pain shoots through my hip but I don't move. The pain is the only thing keeping me from feeling numb. I go over every minute of the assault thinking about what I could have done differently then I think back to initiation and try to figure out what it was that made Peter set his sights on me. I know what made him focus on Edward. He came in ahead of Peter during the first phase of training, and it cost him his eye and his place in Dauntless but all I did was jump into a new life dressed in gray. That one simple task shone a spotlight on me that is still affecting my life to this day and not in a positive way. I toss and turn trying to get to sleep. I realize that if I want any sleep at all, I'm going to have to go home, which is where I should be anyway. I get out of bed and dress in the scrubs Emily left for me. I peek my head into the hallway and see Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo standing guard at my door.

"I want to go home, guys," I say. "Will you walk with me? I think Four would kill all of us if I walked home alone."

"Of course, Tris," Snake-Tattoo says. "Should we call Four?"

"No," I say. "He's not expecting me home tonight so he might not have his phone on him. Plus it's not like I'm breaking out of the place. Dr. Parrish said it was up to me whether I stay or go." They accept my explanation and walk with me on the long trek from the infirmary all the way to my apartment. By the time I get to The Pire, I'm not only exhausted but my hip is absolutely killing me. My guards walk me right up to my door and wait until I unlock it and go inside. I thank them both before I lock the door behind me. The apartment is dark, exactly like I expected it to be. I slowly climb the stairs and walk toward the bathroom to get ready for bed. I'm in the middle of putting on a pair of sleep shorts and lacy camisole when Tobias comes into the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" he asks. "You nearly scared me to death."

"I couldn't sleep," I say holding my shirt over my naked chest.

"Neither could I," he says. He averts his eyes while I finish putting the camisole on. He takes me by the hand and leads me into our bedroom. We get into bed and lie there not touching one another. This isn't what I want. I'll still be tossing and turning if I'm not touching him.

"I want you to hold me, Tobias, just like it's any other night," I whisper, breaking the imposing silence. He doesn't say anything. He just pulls me close to him and kisses my forehead. "I'm going to need time. A lot changed today. I'm not the same person. I need you to understand and be patient with me. I'm not going anywhere either." I turn my back to him, and he wraps me in a loose embrace making sure I feel safe _and_ comfortable. We both let out a contented sigh at the contact we were both craving.

"I love you, Tris," he says in my ear.

"I love you, too, Tobias," I say. Just as I feel myself falling into sleep there's a loud banging downstairs, and I hear Tyler start crying. Tobias and I both groan at the exact same time.


	23. Chapter 23

Part of me wishes that the loud knocking at our door is just a bad dream but I know it isn't. Tobias goes downstairs to see who it is and what they want, and I go into Tyler's room to check on him. It's just as I suspected, the loud noise woke him up, which scared him and made him cry. I hold him and tell him that everything is okay, and he calms right down. Luckily, he falls back to sleep just as quickly as he woke up. I head back into the bedroom but Tobias hasn't come back upstairs yet, so I go down to see what's going on. I slowly descend the stairs making a mental note to call Zander first thing in the morning and ask for a prescription of pain pills. I have some left over from my fall in December but I'm not sure it they are safe for the baby. Maybe I should have asked for a prescription _before_ I left the infirmary. When I get to the bottom of the stairs and turn into the living room, my heart nearly stops.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, not quite believing my eyes. It's a little after 2:00 a.m. and here stands Marcus Eaton in the middle of my living room.

"I'm visiting my son," Marcus says. I see Tobias roll his eyes at his father's words. Who the hell _visits_ their children in the middle of the night? "What happened to you? Somebody finally smack you in that smart mouth of yours." He laughs at his quip. Tobias and I neither one find it funny. I narrow my eyes and glare at him, which hurts my nose but I don't let it show.

"Like I have said more than once, it's the middle of the night," Tobias says almost hatefully. "What. Do. You. Want?"

"I saw something the morning Andrew was assaulted but no one has ever interviewed me to see if I saw something or not. I can't imagine why. I live right down the street from him," he says. "I thought _you_ of all people would want to hear what I saw, Beatrice." Is he playing a game with me right now? He's already insulted me once, and I've been in the same room with him for less than two minutes.

"And you picked 2 o'clock in the morning _at our home_ to tell us?" I say, disbelief clear on my face.

"I've been calling Tobias but he hasn't answered his phone or returned my calls," he says with a mocking tone.

"I don't blame him for that," I mutter. "I wouldn't want to talk to you either." Even though we are not close to one another, when he takes a step toward me, I shrink back. Confusion changes his face from arrogant to bewildered in an instant. I've never backed down from him and part of me hates myself for doing it now. Tobias must have seen me flinch because he slowly comes to my side but is careful not to touch me.

"What happened to her?" Marcus asks, narrowing his eyes and running them over my body. "She isn't her normally feisty self."

"I walked into a door," I say dryly. "Now, what is the information you have about my father? What did you see that morning?"

"You need to talk to Robert Black," he says. _Robert_? "I saw him talking to your father just minutes before I heard your mother's screams for help." I just saw him yesterday at the park, and he never said a word about seeing my dad.

"Did Robert mention that he saw Andrew when you talked to him?" Tobias asks, reading my mind.

"No, he didn't, and why would someone from Amity be spending so much time in the city?" I say. "And why didn't Mr. Black say anything about Robert being in town that morning when we talked to him?" I almost say in Evelyn's room but stop myself.

"Maybe he doesn't know," Tobias says, giving Ethan Black the benefit of the doubt. "Thank you for the information, Marcus. I think you can go now."

"Are we ever going to be able to have a normal relationship?" he asks with a sigh. Tobias stares at his father in awe and starts shaking his head slowly.

"You don't get it do you?" Tobias calmly says. "In trying to make me into what _you_ think a man should be through your twisted way of raising a child, you made me not only fear you but you also made me hate you. I've never admitted that to anyone before not even myself. I _hate_ you. I have emotional scars that run deeper than if you would have put physical scars on my back. Why would I want a relationship with you? I want you to think about this but I don't need an answer. If you were me, would you ever be able to forgive you and go on as if nothing ever happened? Now, I'm asking you kindly to please leave me and my family alone." He purposefully walks across our living room and opens the door. Marcus just shakes his head and walks to the door.

"This isn't over yet," he says. "I'm not giving up on us having a relationship." He turns and walks down the hallway and Tobias slams the door behind his father then locks it, and we sit down on the couch beside each other.

"Do you believe that he actually saw what he said he did?" I ask.

"Yeah, I do. What would he gain by lying about this?" he says. "I think he went to a lot of trouble to get you this information. His visit is my fault. He's been calling almost nonstop since the day your father was put in the hospital. I didn't know he would come knocking on our door in the middle of the night to get my attention. If I did, I would have answered the phone or simply called him back, anything to save you from having to see him and listen to his insults. I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you when he made that crack about someone hitting you." He moves his hand to touch me, startling me, and I shrink away from him.

"I'm sorry," I say the minute I do it. I pick up his hand and hold it to my face. I'm not scared of Tobias. When he's touching me, I feel nothing but love. But quick movements reminds me of _him_ and it frightens me. "I didn't..." I sigh. "I don't even know what to apologize for."

"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for," he says, caressing my cheek with the hand that I am holding.

"Yes, I do, Tobias," I say. "I pushed you away when I needed you the most simply because I couldn't stand you seeing me that way ... seeing what he did to me." I hang my head not wanting him to look at me now. "Then when you want to comfort me, I cower in fear. I'm not scared of you, I swear. I love you." Tears are gently rolling down my cheeks. "I think he broke me." He slowly moves his other hand to my face, his eyes on mine, and wipes the wetness away. I lean into his shoulder, and he very carefully envelops me in his loving embrace. We stay there wrapped up in each other, not saying a word, for more than an hour.

"Shall we try to go back to bed?" he asks when he hears me yawn.

"Yeah," I say as I nod against his chest. He gently releases me from his embrace and pushes me back, being careful not to startle me again. He gets off the couch and holds his hand out to me, and I take it. He leads me up the stairs and into our bedroom.

"Shall we try this again?" he says in my ear after we get back into bed. "I love you, I truly do. I hope you sleep well." I roll in his arms and raise my lips to his and gently give him a goodnight kiss then return to my previous position.

"I love you, too, Tobias," I say. "Goodnight."

I spend a restless night tossing and turning in his arms. Bad dreams plague what should be a peaceful sleep. I dream about Peter, Drew, and Al kidnapping me during initiation and trying to throw me in the chasm. Peter has his way with me with no objections from the other two, and this time Tobias doesn't hear my screams. Peter kills me slowly, painfully, and I wake up just as my lifeless body hits the rocks jutting out of the rushing water below. I shudder at the remembered images, and it takes me a long time to get back to sleep. Then my dreams are full of incongruent pictures of the training room ... it's morning instead of late afternoon, I'm throwing knives at the targets against the wall instead of working out at the punching bags, Tobias tells me to stay instead of asking me to go. But what stays consistent is Peter's presence. He comes into the room and everything goes dark. I try to fight him off but I'm no match for his strength. He uses one of the throwing knives to cut my clothes off my body and I bolt upright in bed with a scream and start sobbing.

"Tris?" Tobias says sleepily. I jump a little at his voice then fall into his arms and let him hold me while I cry. "Nightmare?"

"Yeah," I say, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand. "What time is it?" I feel him turn his head a little.

"5:30 a.m. Do you just want to get up?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say. "Will you check on Tyler? He's usually up by now. I'm going to use the bathroom."

"Sure," he says. We both get out of bed, and he goes into Tyler's room while I go into the bathroom. I stare at myself in the mirror, examining the injuries on my face. My nose is discolored and swollen and both my eyes are black and puffy. My left jaw has a large black bruise and hurts like hell when I talk. I slowly take off my pajamas, put them in the hamper, and look at my body. I have fingertip bruising on both my breasts, a purplish-black bruise on my left lower abdomen where he kicked me the first time, and a coal black bruise in the general shape of a combat boot on my right hip. Tears come to my eyes and my stomach lurches but I manage to keep myself from becoming sick by taking long, deep, controlled breaths in and out. I take a quick shower then get dressed in a comfortable outfit. I notice the smell of bacon as I walk down the stairs.

"Are you ready for breakfast?" Tobias asks as I step into the living room.

"Yeah. I'm starving actually," I say realizing I haven't eaten anything since our picnic yesterday afternoon. Tyler turns at the sound of my voice with a huge smile that melts away when he sees me, and his eyes widen drastically.

"You otay, Twis?" he asks, taking in my bruised and battered appearance. I sit down next to him and ruffle his hair with my hand. I notice extensive defensive marks on the backs of my hands for the first time. I must have fought back even though I don't remember doing that.

"I had an accident, Tyler, but I don't feel too bad," I say, not quite telling him the truth. "I'll be okay."

"I sowwy, Twis," he says putting his arms tightly around my neck and giving me a big hug. I meet Tobias' loving eyes, and I smile at him.

"Have you called Simon or Tony and told them what Marcus claimed to see last Monday morning?" I ask as we are eating the bacon and eggs Tobias fixed.

"I texted each of them as well as Jonah and Matthew and told them to check out his story," he says. "You plan on working today?"

"Yeah, in my office," I say. "I want things to get back to normal. We don't know where Peter is but patrols are looking for him, right?" He nods his head at me. "Also there is a possibility that we'll never know who hurt my dad so I can't sit around and dwell on it."

"I'll take Tyler to daycare then," he says. "Say bye to Tris, kiddo," Tobias says. Tyler hugs me, gives me a kiss, and tells me he loves me, swelling my heart. Tobias kisses the top of my head and tells me he loves me too before they leave. After I finish cleaning the kitchen up, I decide to leave for work. I have too much work that needs to be done to wait around the apartment for an escort down a flight of stairs. I take my phone and grip it tightly in my hand. I open the door just enough to stick my head out and peek into the hallway but don't see anyone lurking. I make my way to my office, my heart threatening to beat its way out of my chest the entire way. I immediately lock my door when I step into my glass-walled office and begin to relax.

I gather the past two weeks' worth of incident reports and begin to pour over them. I was right. A 14-year-old girl reported being accosted by a group of older teenagers in front of the pizza parlor to a guard shortly before midnight the night of our Candor or Dauntless party. This has to be the girl that kissed Will after the slow dance dare. It's the right time and the approximate place. We're going to have to be more careful about who we do our dares with. The other reports seems rather routine. I don't see any statements from men who were victimized by a woman at the bar. I wonder how many men are out there in Dauntless either too embarrassed to come forward or don't know that they've been a target of a crime.

It's nice to get my mind on business and off of my personal problems, even if it is only for a short time. I'm so interested in the details of the incident reports that the knock on the door makes me jump. I look up and am taken aback. I get up from my desk, cross the room, wondering the entire way about why my visitor is here, and open the door to her.

"Isobel?" I say, my confusion showing in my voice as well as on my face. "Come in. What can I do for you?"

"Dr. Parrish asked me to bring this to you," she says handing me a bottle with 10 pain pills in it.

"Thank you. I really need this," I say, which is the absolute truth. I can't believe I forgot to call Zander.

"I'm working in the infirmary today, and I'm on my lunch break," she says. "Can we sit down?"

"Of course. I'm sorry," I say, moving aside to let her pass me. We cross the room to the leather couch against the wall and sit down.

"To be honest, I didn't just come here for Dr. Parrish," she says. "I came to offer my services, Tris. I council victims of sexual assault. I wanted to let you know that if and when you are ready to talk about what happened yesterday, I'm here for you."

"You must know that nothing happened," I quietly say. "He didn't rape me."

"Even an attempted sexual assault leaves its mark and takes its toll," she says. "Counseling can be beneficial."

"I really don't want to talk about it, Isobel," I shyly say. "I already told Dr. Parrish and Four what happened. Isn't that enough?"

"It might be," she says. "I'm not going to lie to you though. There's a greater chance of developing post-traumatic stress disorder if you don't seek counseling."

"I don't even want to _think_ about what he did let alone talk about it. I hope you understand," she says.

"I do, and it isn't my intention to push you into anything you don't want to do," she says. "Just know that if you ever need me for anything, I'm here." She puts her hand on my shoulder for a time then gets up. "Here's a card with all my contact information. If you ever want to talk, no matter what time it is, call me day or night. I'll be there for you."

"Thank you, Isobel," I sincerely say, taking the business card she's extending. "I appreciate your kindness."

"Take care of yourself, Tris," she says. "I'll see you at your next prenatal appointment." She leaves me to my troubled thoughts. Is she right? Would talking about it help? I just don't think I'm ready for that yet, if I'll ever be.

I look at the clock and see that it's almost lunch time. I go to Tobias' office but he isn't there. I decide to have lunch in the apartment today mainly because my hip isn't feeling well enough to walk all the way down to the cafeteria, and I send Tobias a text telling him to meet me. Plus, until Peter is caught, I don't have any intentions of walking long distances by myself. I don't want to chance it. Hell, it freaked me out to come down here from my apartment this morning and it can't be more than a few hundred feet away. I'm at home warming the leftover spaghetti and meatballs when Tobias comes in.

"Hi," I say. "You are just in time for lunch. I hope leftovers sound good. Sit down and I'll get it for you." I slide a plate of spaghetti and meatballs and a bowl of Caesar salad his way then sit down beside him with my food.

"Thanks, this is great," he says. "What have you been doing all morning? I started to check on you a couple of times but you looked busy."

"I've been over the past two weeks' worth of incident reports. It felt good to get back to my normal routine," I say. "Then Isobel brought me pain pills from Zander." I leave out her offer for counseling but I'm not sure why.

"I have some news on your dad's case," Tobias says with a smile, raising my curiosity. "Simon, Tony, Jonah, and Matthew talked to Ethan Black, and he says he hasn't seen Robert since Choosing Day. He was asked to submit his DNA since he had casual contact with your father that morning, and he gave his consent. The analysis was expedited, and it was determined that a close male relative of his in fact attacked your father. Also, the second DNA profile they found turns out to be your mother's, which doesn't surprise me. Not only would he have her DNA on him on a normal basis, but she helped him get to the hospital that morning. The four of them are traveling to Amity to arrest Robert as we speak since Tyler's too young to be considered a suspect." I can't help myself and I chuckle at his last sentence, and he smiles at me.

"Why would Robert want to hurt my dad?" I ask with a sigh.

"That is one question I don't have an answer for, Tris," he says. "We'll have to wait for his interrogation."

"I'm tired of people hurting each other," I say staring out the window. "I'm just plain tired."

"Why don't you take the afternoon and try to get some rest," he says. "You didn't get much sleep last night."

"No, I didn't. I think I'll take you up on your offer," I say with a smile.

"How about you go upstairs and lie down. I'll clean the kitchen up."

"Will you do something for me, please? Lie down with me," I say. "Just until I fall asleep."

"Of course, Tris," he says, putting the plates he just picked up back down. We climb the stairs and go straight to our bedroom. I lie down on my left side with my head resting comfortably on his chest, and he caresses my hair until I fall asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

I am once again standing on the small platform in the rear of the boutique with Christina endlessly circling me, making sure that my wedding dress fits like a second skin. She has me standing perfectly still in front of the huge three-way mirror with my arms straight out at my side, which is absolutely exhausting. Her seemingly endless energy is starting to annoy me so instead of focusing on my best friend, I focus on Tobias, which brings a goofy grin to my face. I can't believe that in 10 short days I will become Mrs. Tobias Eaton. How in the world did I get lucky enough to actually marry my soul mate, my best friend, the best man I have ever known? And what baffles me the most is that he wants to marry me also.

The past five weeks have been extremely difficult for both of us. Peter is still at large, which gives me mixed emotions. On one hand, it is absolutely wonderful not to have to see him or deal with him on a daily basis but on the other hand, I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, terrified he's lurking around every corner ready to try and finish what he started in the training room. I'm extremely angry with him for what he did and what he tried to do to me but I'm angrier with myself for how I've reacted. I'm jumpy, slightly paranoid, and scared most of the time. I'm just not myself and people are starting to take notice.

I decided one night a couple weeks ago that it was time to talk to Isobel. Tobias and I went to bed, and I tried to push my fearful, anxious feelings aside because I honestly wanted to be with him but something happened when he touched me and it made me flashback to that Sunday in the training room, and I pushed him away. The look that flashed on his face for a fraction of a second crushed me, and I couldn't stop myself from sobbing for almost an hour. He held me the entire time I cried, telling me everything was going be okay but in that moment my world felt like it was falling apart, that nothing would be okay ever again. When I finally calmed down, we talked almost the entire night, lying in each other's arms. I asked him if he wanted to postpone the wedding until things returned to normal – or a semblance of normal – but he assured me that marrying me is all he wanted. I know it's all I want. I finally told him about Isobel's offer to counsel me, and we decided together that it would be in my best interest if I talked to her. He offered to come with me but I thought that my feelings were something I needed to work through on my own. I called her the next morning. I know she told me that I could call her day or night but I couldn't bring myself to wake her up in the middle of the night. I've had six sessions with her already. If I'm being totally honest with myself, I'm not sure it's helping but I'm not ready to give up just yet.

I've thrown myself into my work, which is also adding tension between Tobias and me. The only time I feel totally relaxed and anything at all like myself is when I've locked myself away in my office. I don't know if that's good or bad but I like the feeling of normalcy work gives me so I've been spending more hours at work than I used to. I oversaw the after-hour's installation of a surveillance camera behind the bar with Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo trying to identify the woman who has been drugging men and stealing their hard earned money. Unfortunately, she has not targeted any other victim since the night Will was drugged and taken for a month's wages; however, five additional men have come forward reporting missing time after being in the bar and discrepancies in their point balance. I still believe there are more victims who are too embarrassed to come forward but there isn't anything we can do about that.

"When are your dad and that Robert guy being interrogated at Candor?" Christina asks. She's now sitting on the floor making sure that the length of the gown is just right.

"Later today actually," I say. Dad has been ready for his truth serum interrogation for weeks now. His doctor released him from his care 10 days after his beating and sees no reason why truth serum can't be administered. For some reason though Candor wanted to wait until Robert was brought in to have both interviews, which proved harder than anyone thought it would be. Somehow Robert caught wind that Jonah, Matthew, Purple-Hair, and Snake-Tattoo were on their way to Amity to arrest him for Dad's assault and he disappeared. It turns out he was hiding out with the factionless for four-and-a-half weeks. He was caught when he was at the park visiting his girlfriend, Martha. I told Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo to stake out the playground at the family park in the center of the city because Robert had told me that Martha and her family visited every time they came into the city, and sure enough last Thursday, they came into the city, and Robert chanced coming out of hiding to meet with her. "I can't wait until I hear why Robert did what he did. I've known him almost my entire life, and I just can't fathom why he did what he did. It doesn't make any sense to me. A person I called a friend for most of my life almost killed my dad. I guess I don't have the best judgment when it comes to friends."

"Hey! Did you forget who you are talking to ... your best friend?" she says. I roll my eyes at my overly dramatic friend.

"I wasn't talking about you, Christina," I say. "When can I put my arms down? My muscles are burning." She stands back up and is circling me again and grunts.

"Do you want your dress to fit you or not?" she says with an exaggerated sigh.

"Of course I do but I also want my arms to still function after today," I say.

"Fine, put them down," she mutters. I lower my arms and feel relief immediately. She's tugging on the bodice of the dress and grins at me.

"I was right to leave extra room up here! Your boobs are huge!" she says.

"Look who's talking," I mumble. She snickers at me.

"Why are you so grouchy today?" She asks. "Arms back up." That wasn't much of a reprieve.

"I'm grouchy because you're torturing me," I say, putting my arms back up. She stares at me for a moment then rolls her eyes. "Sorry. I honestly just want all this over with. I don't want you to take this the wrong way because I truly appreciate everything that you've done and everything you still have left to do getting this wedding together for me and Four but I wish it was over. I just want to be his wife. That's all I've wanted since he asked me to marry him. I'm starting to wish we had just eloped."

"Is everything okay with you?" she hesitantly asks.

"I'll let you know two weeks from now," I jokingly say, avoiding the true meaning behind the question. She hasn't asked about the details of that day, and I haven't volunteered them either.

"Tris, talk to me," she says very seriously. "You're not happy. I know you, and you aren't yourself. _Please_ talk to me." Pain shoots through my heart. She's right, I'm not myself and it pains me that yet another person is seeing that.

"I don't know what to say, Christina," I say.

"Put your arms down," she says and I gladly do it. "Tell me what Peter did." She steps in front of me and looks deeply into my eyes. "Talk to me, Tris. Maybe it will help you." Talking to Isobel only seems to have helped slightly. Maybe talking to my best friend, someone who knows me just as well as she knows herself will be more beneficial. What do I have to lose?

"Help me out of this dress. I don't want to talk about that _bastard_ while I'm in my wedding dress," I say, stepping down off the platform.

"Of course you don't," she says. She helps me out of the long gown, and I put on my regular clothes, which are showing off curves I've never really had before thanks to the pregnancy. The dress still needs minor alterations so she hangs it up in her office. We walk to the salon so she can trim my hair then try out different styles for the wedding and I can tell her my story. She unlocks the door, turns the lights on, and then locks the door behind us. She gets us settled at her old workstation and takes all the necessary tools out of the drawers that she plans to use.

"You can start at any time," she says as she trims my hair.

"First of all, I hope it doesn't seem like I've shut you out these past few weeks. I haven't meant to. You're my best friend. I just don't like thinking about this, Christina, let alone talking about it but I know that every time I tell my story it helps me heal so here goes," I say. I take a deep cleansing breath and give her the details of that Sunday afternoon in the training room, not quite meeting her eyes in the mirror. I notice that she slowly stops cutting my hair while I talk. When I finish, I wipe a stray tear from my cheek and look into Christina's face in the mirror.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," she says. "You just told me what happened but you didn't tell me how it made you feel and what you are still feeling. It may be hard, Tris, but you need to get those emotions out. It isn't good to keep things like that bottled up. If you do, one day you could explode." I've never really thought about it but she's right. When I tell someone what happened I just give the black and white details with zero emotion. I don't mention the strong desire to cut his hands off when he touched me. I don't discuss the fact that his pungent breath turned my stomach and lingers in my mind and that the smell of alcohol now triggers a near panic attack.

"When Peter came into the room, I didn't think twice about it," I say. "Soon an odd feeling overcame me and when I turned my head, he was standing right beside me. He startled me momentarily but there wasn't any real fear. After I slapped him for insulting Four is when I first felt the dread. There was something in his face that petrified me. I thought he was going to kill me at first, his grip on my throat was so tight. I grasped at his hand trying to fee myself." I motion with my hand what I did, suddenly reliving each terrifying moment from that day. "That's when he started touching me all over my body. I thought about cutting his hands off, anything to get him to stop touching me. I imagine if he hadn't had such a tight grip on me, I would have thrown up all over him. When he kissed me, I honestly felt nothing but disgust. I was hopeful for a moment when I was pleading with him. I reminded him that he promised he wouldn't hurt me anymore but his demeanor darkened in an instant." I stop and take another deep breath. This is one of the hardest parts to remember. "He had one hand on my chest and the other between my legs groping me and said he was going to ... fuck me." I close my eyes but tears battle my eyelids and escape. I continue without opening them. "After he told me he wanted my pussy, ass, and mouth," all the disgusting words run together, "I was extremely scared but it was his reaction to me being pregnant that truly horrified me. Christina, he wanted to kill my baby, and in that moment, I wanted to kill him. When he was taking my pants off my mind was blank. Thankfully, Zeke came in and pulled him off me. That's when I realized he had gotten my underwear off too. I threw up all over the floor knowing just how close he had come to ... getting what he wanted." I hear Christina exhale loudly. I didn't realize how much I've been editing the story. "I'm scared most of the time but I'm even more pissed off ... at him for doing what he did, he changed me. But I'm mainly angry at myself. I shouldn't give him so much power over me."

"Wow," is all she says.

"Two weeks ago I started counseling with Isobel hoping that talking with her will get my life back to whatever normal will be from now on," I say. "I have mixed feelings as to whether it's working or not."

"You have to give it some time," she says. "What made you seek help?" I sigh. Do I want to talk about this? She won't break my confidence, and she truly just wants to help.

"I hurt Four," I say. She looks at me skeptically like there isn't anything I can do that would hurt him, and I furrow my eyebrows at her. Talking about sex on a good day is incredibly difficult for me so this is excruciating.

"You're not having sex are you?" she asks finally catching my meaning.

"No," I finally say, shaking my head. "We've tried but I always stop us because I get scared. It's taking its toll on us and our relationship. I even asked if he wanted to postpone the wedding but he said no. You have no idea how I wish I would have just went with Four to pick up Tyler that day then I never would have seen Peter. It's all my fault."

"No, it's _not_ your fault, Tris. It sounds like you are punishing yourself," she says, turning me in the chair to face her. "It's _Peter's_ fault. He became obsessed with you and took advantage of finding you alone in the training room and didn't want to take no for an answer. _You_ didn't do anything wrong ... _he_ did. It's time that you forgive yourself. It might not be easy but you should try."

"I didn't even try to defend myself, Christina," I say. "What does that say about me? I just let him touch me and beat the shit out of me. Why didn't I try to stop him?" Tears stream down my face.

"Tris, honey, you _did_ fight back," she says, startling me. How could she know that? She wasn't there, and Four looked at the surveillance footage but Peter must have turned off the camera in the training room because there is no video during the time of the attack. "Don't you remember how battered your hands were?"

"I slapped him when he insulted Four," I say. "I remember that."

"Your hands had more damage than hitting him once," she says. "You looked like you were in hand-to-hand combat." I remember looking at my hands the next morning and seeing what I assumed were defensive wounds. They did look like I'd been in a fight.

"Why don't I remember fighting back? Why do I feel like I rolled over and let him do what he wanted?" I say.

"Tris, you are one of the strongest people I know. Of course you would fight him. It's not in your nature to roll over and give up," she says. "Forgive yourself and maybe you can remember fighting back and then you can start to move on."

"I'll try, Christina," I say, lunging at her and hugging her fiercely. "Thanks for listening, and thanks for making me talk about it, _all_ of it."

"Thanks for trusting me enough to open up," she says pulling away from me and looking directly into my eyes. "I really appreciate it."

"Isn't it time you cut my hair!" I say with a smile, leaning back in the chair. "We have an awful lot of different styles to check out before I have to meet Four." She finishes trimming my hair, which desperately needs it then she styles and restyles my hair using several different combs, barrettes, and bobby pins until I decide on the perfect style that complements my face, my dress, and the style of the wedding impeccably. "You don't know how much I appreciate everything you are doing for this wedding. I know I complain and grouch around, and you deserve neither of that, but without you, I honestly don't know what my wedding would be like. It probably would take place on the floor of the Pit in our pajamas."

"I have to ask. Why do you keep saying that, and why is it always with that smirky little grin," she asks.

"I thought I told you this," I say. "Tobias told me he didn't care what I wore or where we got married. He said we could get married in the Pit wearing our PJs."

"You two are so cute," she says. "The members of Dauntless wouldn't recognize Four if they saw you guys at home."

"I know," I say. "I've always been able to see his true self beneath the mask he wears for everyone else. I'm not sure how or why but I'm extremely thankful." I need to tell him that sometime.

"Well, I think we're done with wedding stuff for today," she says while cleaning up the workstation. "Your final dress fitting is next Monday first thing in the morning. I think we can do it at my apartment. It will need some altering in the tummy area unless you gain some more weight between now and then." My tummy is no longer flat as a pancake, there is a little paunch where Peanut is growing. We go out into the Pit and she locks the salon behind us. "Then on Tuesday night after the wedding rehearsal in the Crystal Gardens building you're staying with Will and me because you can't see Four until you walk down the aisle later the next day. You're mine on Wednesday. We'll spend the morning at the spa getting ready for your big day, have a private lunch, then head to the Navy Pier to get dressed and style your hair. The wedding is at sundown either under the stars or at the Crystal Gardens if it's raining. Supper and an intimate reception will follow in a tent that will be set up in front of the Ferris wheel. Four is whisking you away on your honeymoon at 2:00 a.m. Do you have any questions?"

"Yeah! First, how in the world do you keep all that straight and in your head?" I ask laughing. I for one would have to have all that information written down, which I'm sure she does someplace. She shrugs. "And second, where is Four taking me?"

"Oh, no! My lips are sealed," she says with a grin. "You won't get anything out of me."

"Fine," I say with a pout. "Has everyone RSVP'd, or do I need to make some calls this week?"

"Everyone is coming you invited and your brother RSVP'd with a plus one," she says with a spark of curiosity on her face. "Who is he bringing?" I haven't seen or talked to my brother since my dad was in the hospital so I honestly can't answer that question but I have a guess. He was getting ready for a first date with Cara, Will's older sister so I imagine she's his guest but a lot can happen in five weeks.

"I honestly don't know," I say.

"You're keeping something from me," she says.

"Maybe I am," I say. I contemplate telling her. "I really don't know if she's the one or not but a few weeks back he had a date with Cara."

"Will's sister? Seriously!" she says. "I thought I saw a spark between the two of them back in December when I met them both at Candor. How long have they been dating?"

"It was their first date so it might not be her," I say. "I'm sure you understand why I didn't want to say anything."

"Yeah, I do. You don't want to get Will's hopes up that he will see his sister and then have it be some other girl Caleb brings," she says as we climb the final flight of stairs that lead to both our apartments. It doesn't seem like it takes all that long to get from the boutique and salon area to here when Christina is reminding me of the wedding itinerary.

"Thank you for this morning," I say. "All the wedding stuff and for the talk. You helped. Thanks again." I give her another big hug before I get all emotional on her. I was hoping since my second trimester starts soon that my hormones would settle down. I should have known better. Just because I'm 12 weeks along doesn't mean my body is just going to magically stop with the runaway emotions and the morning sickness that hits at any time of the day.

"You're very welcome, Tris," she says, returning my hug. "If you want to talk some more, you know where to find me." We release each other and head into our own apartments. I walk in, and there is flour all over the island and the floor. I see a trail of tiny footprints followed by larger ones from the kitchen, through the living room, and up the stairs and I can't help but laugh. What in the world have those two been doing while I was away?


	25. Chapter 25

I climb the stairs, following the path of flour-laden footprints straight to the bathroom, which doesn't surprise me one bit. The door is wide open, and I stand in the doorway, leaning up against the jamb, trying not to make a sound. Tobias is on his knees giving Tyler a bath and looks like he's in desperate need of a shower himself. His normally dark curly hair actually looks like it grayed prematurely overnight but I know better. It's obviously from the flour explosion that happened downstairs.

I watch as the love of my life helps his little brother in the tub and my heart swells with love until I think it's going to burst. Tobias has already proven to me what an absolutely wonderful father he is going to be based on how he interacts with Tyler. He treats him with such love, kindness, and patience that it boggles my mind that he worries at all about Marcus' negative influence.

"You ready to get out, buddy?" Tobias asks after rinsing conditioner out of Tyler's hair with the handheld shower. "Tris should be home at any minute, and I really want to get that mess in the kitchen cleaned up. We don't want her to come home to a mess, do we?" Tyler just keeps splashing away and giggling like he doesn't have a care in the world, letting me know that he isn't anywhere near close to wanting to get out of the tub at all. He's having too much fun.

"What in the world have my boys been doing this morning that caused such a disaster downstairs?" I ask, finally letting them know I'm here. Tobias looks at me over his shoulder with a shocked and slightly apologetic look on his face.

"Twis home, Fo. Twis home," Tyler repeats time and again while splashing his hands in the water excitedly. I walk into the bathroom and kneel down beside Tobias.

"He obviously isn't finished with his bath and isn't ready to get out," I say with a genuine smile, brushing some of the flour out of Tobias' hair. "Why don't I stay here with him and you can go downstairs and clean up that horrible mess in the kitchen and living room, and don't forget all the footprints. They led me straight to you." I can't help but laugh. "You can tell me all about what happened later!" I lightly run my hand down the side of his face and surprise lights his eyes. I can count on one hand the number of times I touched him these past few weeks.

"Did you have a good morning with Christina?" he asks with a smile. "Did you get all the wedding arrangements finalized?" I can tell he would like to ask me something else but instead he decides to take advantage of my rare good mood. He draws my mouth to his and kisses me quickly but tenderly. A splash hits us in the face, and we both turn and look at Tyler and his angel face.

"Did you just splash us?" I ask, tickling him. For some reason he isn't too fond of watching us kiss. He just laughs in response. "Christina and I had a really nice time. A couple days before the wedding I'll have the final dress fitting. She says everything else is totally under control. Everyone has RSVP'd so I don't have to make any phone calls. Oh, she told me Caleb is apparently bringing a date."

"Cara?" he asks, getting up off the floor with a groan. He even sounds like an old man at the moment.

"I honestly don't know. I haven't seen Caleb or talked to him since we left the hospital over five weeks ago," I say. "I assume it's her but I told Christina not to say anything, and I don't think we should either. I don't want to get Will's hopes up that he'll get to see his sister and have Caleb show up with a total stranger."

"That's smart," he says. "I'm going downstairs now to clean up. Tyler, you listen to Tris. When she says it's time to get out, don't argue with her."

"Otay, Fo," he says with a warm smile, love radiating out of his eyes. Tyler and I play for a while with the boats we recently bought him that are specifically designed to be used in the bath. We race them all around the tub, Tyler's tug boat beating my houseboat each time. He thinks it's great and keeps laughing. When I can no longer feel my feet below me because I've been sitting on them to long, I think it's time to get him out and dried off. He's very good and doesn't fight me one bit. I dress him in comfortable clothes that won't be too warm since he's going to the park with Zander and his family this afternoon while Tobias and I attend Robert and Dad's interrogations at Candor.

Unfortunately, they are both open to the public, and I imagine there will be quite a turn out, especially since Dad is the leader of the council. I think people are intrigued as to why he's being questioned at all since there has been no news of wrong doing ... yet. Erudite has kept their promise and not released any of the anonymous reports about Dad but some of Caleb's colleagues are faunching at the bit to let the entire city know all of Andrew Prior's _sins_. But I'm more interested in hearing why Robert attacked my dad. What made him do it, and is he working alone or with someone? It's such an odd situation. My stomach growls letting me know that it's lunchtime. I've only had a stale blueberry muffin and a cup of lukewarm coffee in the boutique with Christina this morning. No wonder my stomach is letting me know it wants fed.

"Shall we go downstairs and get Four then head to the cafeteria for something to eat?" I ask. Tyler energetically bobs his head up and down at me then takes off like a wild man down the stairs.

"Tyler!" Tobias and I say at the same time. I decide to let him continue. "You know you aren't supposed to run up and down the stairs. Tris and I love you very much, and we don't want you to get hurt because you slip and fall down the stairs. The next time you run in the house I'm going to take a toy away. Do you understand?" Tyler lowers his eyes and sticks his bottom lip out pouting but he nods his head at his brother.

"Sowwy, Fo," he says. "Sowwy, Twis."

"I know you're sorry, Tyler," I say, ruffling his hair. "Just remember to walk the next time you get excited, okay?"

"Otay," he says.

"Hey, are you two ready for some lunch?" Tobias asks. He must have cleaned himself up while Tyler and I were in his room getting him dressed. "I'm starved, and I imagine Tyler is too. We didn't get breakfast, did we, buddy?" Tyler shakes his head as he takes my hand. "We had an issue with the mixer." Tyler giggles manically at that.

"Snow," he says between snorts. I furrow my eyebrows at Tobias. He has a sheepish look on his face.

"The mixer flung flour everywhere," he says. "I was trying to make some muffins but the mixer got stuck and kept throwing the ingredients everywhere, especially the flour. At one point it actually looked like a blizzard was slowly moving through the apartment. Tyler looked like a ghost. He was covered from head to toe. I couldn't help but laugh." I can't fault him for that, I probably would have too. "I imagine we need a new mixer. It wouldn't stop. I finally had to unplug it." Small kitchen appliance malfunction? I guess it makes sense.

Tyler walks between Tobias and me holding each of our hands, jumping everything that he can on our way to the cafeteria for lunch with our friends. I swear he's midair most of our trip. When we reach the cafeteria, we let him go, and he sprints directly to our table and sits where Tobias and I normally do and starts talking to our friends. We just look at each other, smile, and laugh. He reaches his hand out and I take it and let him lead me to our table.

"Hi, guys," I say as Tobias and I sit down next to Tyler. Our friends greet us happily with a chorus of hellos.

"Bite?" Tyler asks Christina, leaning up against her arm, looking at her with puppy dog eyes. She gives him half her dinner roll. Poor baby is hunger. I fix him a plate first like I normally do but give him slightly more food. He digs into the barbecue chicken, and we have to tell him to slow down. We spend so much time doing our own thing on Sunday's that I forgot how good the comfort food the chef fixes is. I choose barbeque chicken, scalloped potatoes with ham, mixed vegetables, and baked apples while Tobias picks fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, mixed vegetables, and apple salad with grapes and walnuts. I eat so much that I'm absolutely stuffed. Tyler leans up against my side after his sliver of cake and actually falls asleep.

"Are you two excited for next week?" Shauna asks.

"I'm nervous about the wedding," I say. "I'm not entirely comfortable being the center of attention and all eyes usually focus on the bride. I hope my morning sickness doesn't pick that moment to make itself known or I'll probably throw up in front of all our guest."

"Don't worry about anyone looking at you, Tris," Zeke says with a grin. I furrow my brows at him. "I'm going to be dressed in a tux so everyone's going to be admiring how handsome I am." He pretends to straighten a tie as Tobias stands and knocks him in the shoulder.

"You're an idiot," Tobias says. "I think I've made a horrible mistake. Who else can stand up with me?"

"Oh, no you don't," Christina says with real panic in her eyes. "You two can hate each other from now until the end of time but there will be _no_ substitutions. You got it?" Everyone looks at her like planning this wedding is too much for her and she's lost her poor mind.

"Christina," Will says slowly, laying his arm across her shoulders, pulling her to his side. "He was just giving Zeke a hard time. Nothing's going to ruin the wedding." You would think Will was talking to a nervous bride right now instead of the wedding planner! Maybe she isn't the anomaly here, maybe it's me.

"I'm excited," Tobias says, looking at me out of the corner of his eyes. "I can't wait until I can officially call Tris my wife." He's so romantic sometimes. I lean my head against his shoulder being careful not to wake Tyler up.

"Speaking of _official_ , what's your name going to be?" Lynn asks with real interest.

"Tris," I slowly say, keeping my face straight knowing full well that's not what she meant. She rolls her eyes dramatically at me.

"Come on," Uriah says. "What's your last name going to be? You can tell us. What are people in Dauntless going to call you and you kids?"

"Her last name, as well as the name of our kids, will be my last name, of course," Tobias says. "But their _public_ name will be Prior ... as will mine." Tobias and I had a conversation recently about what my name would be. I told him I wanted to be Tris Eaton but since that would give away one of his secrets, we compromised on hyphenating our names ... Prior-Eaton. There's a lot of groans around the table.

"I thought we'd finally get a clue as to your true identity, Four," Ciara says. I give her props for her honesty.

"Maybe one day," he says.

"The interrogation is at 3:00 p.m., right?" I ask Tobias. "Should we take him home so he can nap until Zander picks him up for his playdate?"

"That sounds like a great idea," he says. "We're going to get this little guy home for a nap."

"It was nice to have you all here for lunch," Zeke says. "We'd like to see you more often on Sundays."

"I forgot how good the food is on Sundays," I say. "We'll have to eat with you guys more often."

"Everything was wonderful and the company was pleasant, as usual," Tobias says, carefully lifting Tyler so he can sleep on his shoulder. "Except for you, Zeke."

"Ha ha!" he says with a roll of his eyes. We say our goodbyes and head home. When we reach the apartment, Tobias takes Tyler to his room to nap then comes to sit on the couch next to me.

"I talked to Christina today ... about that night," I say, slowly raising my head to look him in the eyes.

"You hadn't talked to her about it before?" he asks with shock on his face. "I guess I just assumed she was the one person you would talk to about it."

"I didn't talk to anyone about it until I started talking to Isobel," I softly say. "I finally told Christina what happened and she made me realize I didn't give an emotional account so she made me talk about how what he did made me feel. It helped. I would like to tell _you_ my story also. We're getting married next week. I may not consider this a secret but I don't want _him_ to come between us." He nods his head at me then I repeat what I told Christina.

"I'm sorry, Tris," he says, hanging his head when I finish. "I thought I knew what happened but he got further than I let myself imagine."

"Maybe I shouldn't have told you," I whisper painfully. I hate hurting him, and here I am hurting him once again.

"I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough with me to share how he made you feel and how you're feeling now," he says staring deeply into my eyes, penetrating my soul. He slowly wipes a stray tear off my cheek. "I promise you this, Beatrice Grace, _when_ I find him, he's dead. You'll never have to fear him ever again."

"I won't lie. I would give anything to hear the news that Peter Hayes is dead but promise me you won't have anything to do with it," I plead. "If you kill him, they'll take you away from me, and I wouldn't survive that." He frowns at me.

"I will never do anything to jeopardize us ... our family," he says. "I promise."

"She also made me see that I need to forgive myself so that I can move on," I say.

"What do _you_ need to forgive yourself for?" he asks.

"I should have went with you when you asked me," I say. "I need to forgive myself. People keep telling me it's not my fault but if I hadn't been there alone in that room, it wouldn't have happened."

"You don't know that," he quietly says. "I don't want to scare you, that isn't my intention but you said he was drunk and angry. What makes you think he wouldn't have cornered you somewhere else at a different time, alone or not? Would you think it was your fault because you were taking Tyler to daycare or meeting the girls at the boutique or we were going on a date?" I put my head on his shoulder.

"I know you're right but how do I stop beating myself up for not coming with you?" I say. "How do I stop pulling away from you when all I truly want is to get closer? How do I stop tensing up when all I want to do is relax."

"Tris, I'm sorry," he says. "Why haven't you told me any of this before?"

"I don't want to hurt you, Tobias," I say, moving so I can see in his eyes once again. "It kills me when I see pain in your eyes after I push you away. I'm having trouble understanding why you're still here with me. I wasn't kidding when I asked if you wanted to postpone the wedding. I'm going to ask you again if you want out. I'll understand." He sighs.

"Why would you ask me that?" he asks, trying his best not to get angry but not quite managing it. "Have I done something to make you think that the only reason I'm with you is _sex_?" The look in his eyes makes me feel ashamed. "You may not believe this but if we never make love _ever_ again, I'm okay with that. I am completely head over heels in love with you ... _you_. I'm not me without you. Why would I give you up? _Please_ stop asking me to do that." We are quiet for a long time.

"I'm not ready to have sex yet, Tobias," I whisper, suddenly flashing back to a conversation early in our relationship when being intimate with him was one of my greatest fears. The thought of going through my fear landscape to figure out my true feelings tickles the corners of my mind but I don't think I would survive if I find out I'm _Seven_ again. "I want you to do something for me. I want you to kiss me. Don't be afraid that you'll scare me. I want you to kiss me like you mean it." His mouth crashes into mine in a need-filled kiss. He may say he's fine without making love but this kiss says something entirely different to me. The kiss slows then he moves away from me. I smile at him. It's the first time in weeks that I feel comfortable with physical contact. I run my hands down his face and pull his mouth back to mine. I lean my body into his and kiss him leisurely. I run my tongue along his bottom lip, and he automatically opens his mouth to me. After kissing for a time, I tentatively thrust my tongue in his mouth, searching his out, and we let them dance. I feel his hands on my waist but they never wander, they just tighten and release in sync with the rhythm of our mating tongues. When we can no longer breathe, we break apart but I don't leave his arms. I can't stop smiling. No one kisses like Tobias. A thought crosses my mind and my eyes narrow.

"I want you to touch me," I say, barely above a whisper. He furrows his eyebrows at me.

"Are you sure, Tris?" he asks, worry thick in his voice.

"I'm sure. Please touch me." One of his hands leaves my waist, and I see it trembling out of the corner of my eye. I take it and gently place it on my breast. My heart immediately starts to pound, and my instinct is to push him away but I fight it. He slowly moves his mouth to my neck and starts to kiss the sensitive spot beneath my left ear and I relax slightly. His hand gently kneads my aching breast with a loving tenderness for a time. I was right, no one _touches_ me like Tobias. I can actually feel his love for me in each caress. I put my hand on his, lace our fingers together, and move them to his knee. That's enough experimenting for one day. He stops kissing my neck and kisses my cheek sweetly.

"Are you okay? I didn't scare you did I?" he asks.

"I learned something or maybe the correct statement is I _realized_ something. No one kisses me like you do, Tobias, and no one has ever touched me the way you do," I say with tears in my eyes. "Yes, I was anxious but I could feel how much you love me with just your tender touch. I know that may sound crazy but it's how I feel. I just need some time but I'm coming to understand that you're okay with that."

"Of course, I'm okay with that. _I love you_ ," he says with an intense look on his face. "More than anything."

"I love you, too," I say. I hear soft footsteps on the stairs and see Tyler peeking around the corner. I nudge Tobias in his side, and he sees where my eyes are looking. Soon we both hear giggling. I'm sure Tyler thinks he's being quiet but he's not. Tobias soundlessly slides off the couch and walks over to the stairs and snatches up the giggling toddler with a chuckle. I'm laughing as loudly as they both are. Tobias brings Tyler to the couch and he climbs onto my lap.

"Hi, baby," he says leaning over to kiss my tummy. He saw Tobias do the same thing a week or so ago and questioned him about it. So we made the decision to tell Tyler that I'm having a baby, and he seemed to understand. Now he randomly kisses my growing belly.

"Did you have a nice nap?" I ask and he smiles brightly at me.

"Yep," he says. A knock on the door tells me it's almost time for Dad's interrogation and I become anxious.

"Zander is here to pick you up, Tyler," Tobias says on his way to answer the door. Tyler starts bouncing up and down in my lap, and I put him on the floor.

"Tyler!" Zane says running into our living room. The best friends hug each other tightly.

"Zane, don't make me sorry I brought you with me," Zander says.

"Sorry, Daddy," he says over his little shoulder.

"Tyler, are you ready to go?" Zander asks. "We're going to the park then get ice cream in the city before coming home. I'll call when we get back."

"If we aren't home yet from Candor yet, can you keep him until we return?" Tobias asks.

"Of course," he says. "Let's go, boys." Tobias and I grab our phones then we all walk to the garage together.


	26. Chapter 26

Tobias and I say goodbye to our friends and then each of us give Tyler a great big hug and kiss on the cheek, telling him to have a great time but to mind Zander and Stella. We wave goodbye as the Parrish car pulls out of its spot and heads out of the garage. It's a little early to head to Candor but we decide to go ahead and leave anyway. We slowly drive to the Merciless Mart in near silence. My anxiety level is off the charts, and I imagine Tobias can sense that. I'm worried about my dad's interrogation, although I'm not exactly sure why. I'm confident he has nothing to hide yet I can't shake the feeling I'm going to learn something terrible today.

"Are you okay, Tris?" Tobias asks as we pull up in front of Candor's headquarters. I meet his eyes, and the anxiety I've been feeling the entire drive dissipates. I smile at him.

"I'm worried about Dad," I say. "I know he hasn't done anything wrong but I can't shake this bad feeling."

"I wonder if truth serum can force the truth out of your dad," he says. I furrow my brows at him. I wonder what he is suggesting. "That didn't come out quite right. What I mean is, I wonder if he can say what happened to him that Monday morning under truth serum, if it can _lift_ the truth out of his head since he can't remember any details."

"I never thought about it that way," I say. "I'm not sure that's how it works but if it does, doctor's will have a new application for truth serum, that's for sure." I sigh. "Maybe the feeling I'm having is about Robert and not Dad. I can't wait to find out why he did what he did." Tobias takes my hand in his and lightly rubs small soothing circles on the palm with his calloused thumb.

"I'm interested in hearing Robert's story, also," he says. "His involvement just doesn't make sense to me. I wonder if he was working alone."

"That thought has crossed my mind also," I say. A hand knocks on my car window and makes me jump. Tobias and I look toward the sound and see Mom and Dad standing on the sidewalk right outside the car. I get out and go to my parents but Tobias stays in the car to answer a text message he just received.

"You know you didn't have to come today, Beatrice," Dad says.

"Four and I want to be here to support you but we also want an explanation as to why Robert did what he did," I say. Tobias exits the car and joins us.

"Andrew, Natalie. It's nice to see you again," he says. "I'm sorry. I had a text I needed to answer. Tris, Tyler fell and scraped his knee at the park. Zander would like you to call him. Tyler wants to talk to you." I pull my phone out of my pocket and immediately dial Zander's number. He puts Tyler on the phone, and I'm able to calm him right down.

"I love you. You be good and be careful," I say then hang the phone up. "I think he's okay now."

"Does he always ask for you, Beatrice?" Mom asks.

"Yes, he does," I say. "I think he's attached himself to me since he hasn't seen his mom since early January."

"January!" Mom and Dad say at the same time.

"Why haven't you taken him to visit his mother?" Dad asks disapprovingly.

"The hospital won't allow it," Tobias says. "They won't let him in the hospital because he's too young, and her doctors think she's too unstable to move her outside so it's been nearly three full months since they've seen each other. I'm angry with the hospital. They should be working with us instead of against us. It's very frustrating." We've discussed this on more than one occasion, and it's a subject we agree on 100%. Tyler needs to see Evelyn. We just don't know how to make that happen.

"It's awful that the hospital wouldn't let a _child_ see his mother in _three_ months," my mom says with disgust in her voice.

"Maybe we should go inside now," Tobias says, trying to get the conversation off the painful subject. "The interrogations will start in less than 30 minutes." We head through the oversized glass door into the black and white lobby and find Caleb sitting in one of the many intimate groupings right next to Cara. He gets up when he sees us enter the room and comes straight to us, followed closely by his girlfriend. I imagine she is his plus one next week. He hugs Mom and me then shakes hands with Dad and Tobias.

"Hi, Cara," I say, trying to be polite. "How are you?"

"Hey, Tris. I'm good," she says, making awkward conversation. "Are you excited about the wedding?"

"More nervous than excited actually," I say. "I'm not one for a lot of attention so I'll be happy when the wedding is over. I'm really just looking forward to the day that we're married and I can call Four my husband. That's all I've wanted since he proposed." She smiles at me, and it actually seems genuine.

"We have that in common," she says with a nervous laugh. "I've already made up my mind. If I ever get married, I'm eloping."

"I contemplated that but Christina wouldn't hear of it," I say with a chuckle. "She has done everything. I only had to make the major decisions. She's made all the little ones and planned every detail of the wedding. It really took the pressure off Four and me."

"She's great," Cara says.

"Yes, she is," I say with a bright smile. "She's an amazing friend. I don't know what I would do without her."

"We better get upstairs," Dad says. "By the way, I called the hospital. Tyler can see his mother tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. in the obstetrics waiting room for 30 minutes. He can see her at this time each week until she's discharged." Tobias and I stand staring open-mouthed at him.

"How?" I finally say in complete awe. We tried everything to get an arrangement like that. He makes one phone call and Tyler gets to see Evelyn tomorrow.

"I called the administrator at home and told him Tyler's story," he says. "I told him I was appalled that the hospital would disregard the feeling of a child ... _any_ child. He immediately made arrangements for them to see each other. I hope I got her name right, Evelyn _Johnson_." We nod at him. "You all will receive an apology tomorrow as well."

"Thank you, Dad," I say, hugging him tightly.

"Thanks," Tobias says, his voice full of emotion. "You don't know how much this means to Tyler _and_ to Tris and me as well."

"You're welcome, Four. Tyler is a great kid. No child should be hurt in that way. I'm glad I could help," Dad says, hanging his head, rather embarrassed.

"Prior family, your presence is requested upstairs in the interrogation room. Robert Black's examination will begin momentarily," says a short, balding, older gentleman. He leads us to the familiar banks of elevators and puts a key in the center one. I just realized this is the only elevator used to go up to the top floor.

"Tris, I would like to talk to you before you leave about a proposal I've been thinking about," Caleb quietly says when we are all stuffed in the small elevator. "It's about factionless children and the Choosing Ceremony." This piques my interest immediately.

"What about them?" I ask, wanting to hear his idea.

"I believe we should pass a law that will allow factionless children to attend the Choosing Ceremony the year of their 16th birthday just like any other person in the city," he says. This statement gets the attention of everyone in the elevator.

"I for one _love_ that idea, Caleb," I say. "How did you come up with it?"

"Remember when we were talking about factionless children?" he asks. My mind wanders back to one of the days Dad was in the hospital. We were talking about Tyler and Evelyn, and we both agreed we thought it should be illegal to raise a child when you're factionless.

"I remember," I say.

"That's when I got the idea," he says. "Every child should have the opportunity to live in a faction if they want to."

"I think it's a wonderful idea," Dad says. "I'm surprised no one has ever thought of anything like it before. I wonder if there are many factionless children." I look up into Tobias' eyes. I have a feeling he might know a little about this subject because of going into the factionless sector to visit with his mother on multiple occasions. Maybe he has seen something that would give us a clue as to whether a law like this would be beneficial. When the elevator door opens, we all file out one at a time. I slowly walk hand-in-hand with Tobias to the set of ornate double doors that lead into the cavernous interrogation room. Once we find our seats, which have been set up just like the last time we were here for Cameron Wright's interrogation, we sit down. I take in the sizable crowd and notice that it has a large number of Abnegation members. This is unusual. They must be curious as to why their leader is being interrogated under truth serum.

"Well, well," a familiar voice says and I turn to see Jack Kang approaching us. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see your face around here every again, Tris." If it weren't for the warm smile on his face, people would think he was being completely serious with me at the moment.

"I told you that I _hoped_ to never see you again, but I didn't _promise_ you that I would never come poking around Candor again," I say. It amazes me how easy it is to joke around with the leader of Candor under these circumstances.

"I honestly thought that you wouldn't be in such a good mood," he says, narrowing his eyes at me.

"I'm confident that my father has done absolutely nothing wrong," I say. "It's really Robert's interrogation that I'm nervous about. I want to hear why he did what he did."

"You may be surprised by what you learn here today, Tris," he says, turning his head and raising his arm, giving the just a minute sign to Niles who just called out to him. "The interrogation will begin momentarily. It's nice to see you again." He turns and walks away from me, leaving me to wonder what in the world he meant by that.

"What does he mean, I'm going to be surprised?" I ask Tobias.

"I have no idea," he says taking my hand. When Jack and Niles move to the center of the room, everyone quiets down.

"For those of you who do not know me, my name is Jack Kang. I am one of the leaders of Candor," he says in a loud, confident voice. "This is my associate Niles Murphy. He will be administering the truth serum and conducting the interrogations today. I will turn the floor over to him now." Just then a loud bang echoes through the chamber as Robert is brought into the room flanked by armed Candor guards. Although, I'm surprised to see he's not handcuffed like all the previous prisoners were. He calmly sits down in one of the two chairs in the center of the room. Unless he is more arrogant than I've ever known, he's acting like an innocent person. I wonder if this is what Jack was hinting at, that Robert is a sociopath.

"The first interrogation will be of Robert Black, a member of Amity. He is accused of assaulting Andrew Prior, the leader of the council and a member of Abnegation. These are very serious charges. If he is found guilty, he could be sentenced to death," Niles says matter-of-factly. At the word death, there is a loud audible gasp that echoes throughout the entire room, and I'm one of those who Niles is asking to quiet down. I honestly can't believe what I'm hearing. It seems like the city is cracking down on crime if assaulting someone could be punishable by _death_. I momentarily wonder what they would do to a would-be rapist.

"Robert, I am going to be administering the truth serum into a vein on the side of your neck," he says. "You will feel the effects of the serum immediately. Don't fight what you're feeling or you will experience pain. If you answer the questions immediately, there will never be any pain. Do you understand?"

"I do," Robert says, loud and clear for the audience. A side door opens and I see Ethan Black come into the room followed closely by Ellie, his wife. They sit in the closest empty seats they can find. I'm surprised I hadn't noticed their absence until they came into the room. Niles opens the black box that is sitting on the table and hands Robert an alcohol swab. He rips into it, wipes off the side of his neck, then throws it away in the trashcan Jack is holding in front of him. Niles takes a syringe out of the box and sticks it into the left side of Roberts's neck who immediately slumps in his chair. I can't see his eyes clearly because I don't have a straight on view, but I imagine they are glazed over just like anyone else I've seen under the effects of truth serum.

"Please state your full name," Niles says.

"Robert Ethan Black," he says, confusion on his face.

"How old are you, Robert?" Niles asks.

"I celebrated my 17 birthday last September," he says.

"What are your parent's names?" he asks.

"Ethan and Ellie Black," Robert says with a sad sigh. That's right, he hasn't seen his parents since the day of the Choosing Ceremony.

"What faction were you born into and what faction did you choose?" Niles asks. It's like he's going down a mental checklist. He asks everyone the same first four or five questions then they start becoming more personalized to the case and the specific person in the chair.

"I was born in Abnegation, and I chose Amity," he says.

"Can you tell us what you were doing in Abnegation on the morning of February 15, this year," Niles asks, finally getting to what _I_ want to hear.

"I went to warn Andrew Prior of a plot against him," he says. I wasn't expecting that.

"What kind of plot?" Niles asks.

"I honestly don't know," he answers immediately.

"How do you know there is a plot then?" he asks.

"Whenever my girlfriend, Martha, and her family have to come into the city for business, I come with them if I'm available," he says fidgeting in his seat a little bit. "We go to the park in the center of town and take advantage of the playground. I was using the public restroom when two men I don't know came in talking about Mr. Prior. They didn't know I was there because I was in the stall furthest away from the door."

"What were they saying?" Niles asks.

"They were very angry that Erudite hadn't released the reports they sent them about Mr. Prior and the council. Something about hidden accounts and favoritism. They said their plan wouldn't work if Erudite didn't play ball," Robert says, stunning me.

"Tell us what happened the morning you met with Andrew Prior," Niles says. I'm sitting on the edge of my seat wondering how this will unfold. Why would he go from wanting to help my dad one minute to trying to take him away from everyone who loves him the next? Something isn't adding up here. Is his DNA just an innocent transfer like Mom's was?

"Martha and I stayed the night at the rooming house on the edge of the city park where a lot of Amity members stay when they are in the city overnight. I figured this was my chance to talk to Mr. Prior. I didn't want anything to happen to him. I still don't. So I woke early and went to see him. I knew from growing up just down the street from the Priors that he takes an early morning walk nearly every day. I was lucky to find him near my parent's home. I asked if I could join him after apologizing for startling him. We walked and I told him what I heard." I look at Dad. He has a confused look on his face but he also looks a bit sheepish, like he was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I didn't know he took early morning walks. "He asked me several questions about these men. I got the idea that he thought he knew who they were but I could be mistaken about that. I really don't know Mr. Prior well. When we returned to his house, he thanked me for the information. I saw Marcus Eaton watching us so I turned down Mr. Prior's offer of breakfast, said my goodbyes, and left. Within a half-an-hour I was back at the rooming house having breakfast with Martha. Later that day I found out about his assault. Beside Mr. Eaton, I didn't see anyone so I made the decision not to report our impromptu meeting to the authorities. I now know that it was wrong but at the time I thought since I didn't have any helpful information for anyone that it wasn't a big deal. I do wish I would have told Beatrice what I knew when we ran into each other later in the week then maybe she wouldn't think I was capable of harming her father."

"Did you assault Andrew Prior?" Niles asks pointblank.

"No," Robert firmly says and I'm forced to believe him ... unless he's like me. What if he's capable of lying under truth serum?

"Ethan Black's DNA is a familial match to the DNA on Mr. Prior's wounds. Robert Black's DNA is a familial match also. He is not your attacker," he says, turning his back to Robert and speaking directly to my family, especially my dad. After letting that news sink in, he turns back to Robert. "Do you have an uncle or a brother living somewhere in the city?" He's quiet for a time. His visible suffering brings back the memory of going through the exact same thing and I cringe.

"I have a brother," he says. My heart nearly stops. Tobias puts his arm lightly around my shoulders, pulls me to him, and kisses the top of my head, apparently reading my mind once again. What will happen if everyone learns about Tyler? "He is about a year older than me. He was adopted. His name is Jeffrey Walsh." Holy shit! I know Jeffrey. He was in a lot of my classes at middle and upper levels. He was quiet and respectful but all Abnegation are that way, at least in public. I'm learning that they don't always practice what they preach behind closed doors. "My father, Ethan Black, is his father. He has narrowed his mother down to one of two women, Evelyn Eaton or Natalie Prior."


	27. Chapter 27

My mom's head starts slowly moving from side to side as her mouth drops open in shock. If we weren't in the middle of Candor's interrogation room and there wasn't an interview in progress, I would burst out laughing at Robert's absurd accusation. There's absolutely no way on earth that _my_ mother has another child. Now Evelyn Johnson Eaton having yet _another_ secret wouldn't surprise me in the least. I look up into Tobias' eyes and see that he has paled dramatically. Other than that, he's not showing any sign of emotion. I reach out to his left hand and take it in mine. He pulls me closer to him still with his arm that's wrapped around my shoulders.

"Can they have another child?" I whisper. He shrugs, his mask falling away for a split second. I see devastation and betrayal in his eyes.

"I believe we have learned everything we can from you today, Robert," Niles says. "Before we finish, I have one final question to ask you. It's a question we ask every person sitting where you are. What is your biggest regret?"

"I regret running when I found out the authorities were coming to question me," he says. "I was scared, and I acted like a coward. If I had it all to do over again, I would be a man and face the problem head on, especially since I didn't do anything wrong."

"Thank you for your honesty," says every single Candor member in the room simultaneously. I see Mr. Black get up and head toward the door but two Candor guards block his escape.

"Not so fast, Mr. Black," Jack says. " _You_ are our next interview." He hangs his head as the guards direct him toward the chairs in the center of the room. Robert is picked up under the arms and dragged out of the double doors by two armed guards. I'm really surprised they didn't give him the antidote immediately since he's innocent of any crimes.

Mr. Black is pushed down into the chair just vacated by his son. He has a panicked look on his face. I stare across the vast room while Niles readies him for his interview. Ellie Black is sitting head held high among people of all factions. She doesn't really look upset. She looks maybe ... vindicated. I can't help but wonder if she already knows about his indiscretions. Niles finishes injecting the truth serum in the left side of his neck and throws the syringe away. Mr. Black immediately slumps in the chair.

"Please state your full name," Niles says.

"Ethan Aaron Black," he says, typical confusion on his face.

"What are your parent's names?"

"James and Zelda Black," Ethan states.

"What faction were you born into and what faction did you choose?" he asks

"I was born in Erudite and I chose Abnegation." He's obviously very proud of that.

"Are you married?" Niles asks.

"Yes," he responds.

"What is her name?"

"Ellie Jean Black," Ethan says.

"How many children do you have?" he asks. I see Mr. Black pause then cringe. I can tell he doesn't want to answer this question but I remember the fire that pushes you to answer whether you want to or not. This turn of events has to be horrifying for his wife but she still looks as if nothing is bothering her.

"Five." He finally spits the answer out between clenched teeth. Several Abnegation members gasp. This information proves too much for Ellie, and she gets up from where she's been patiently sitting this entire time and walks out of the room. My heart rate increases wondering what's going to be said about Tyler. I can't stand the idea of him being hurt any more than he already had been.

"How many are adult males?" Niles asks.

"Two," he says, hanging his head. "Robert who lives in Amity and my oldest son. I don't know his name or where he lives."

"How old are any other sons you have?"

"My other son is 2-years-old," Ethan says. I squeeze Tobias' hand.

"Back to your oldest child," he asks. I breathe a sigh of relief. "Who is his mother, and would she know his information?"

"His mother is Evelyn Johnson Eaton." Tobias tenses beside me. His rigid posture tells me he's pissed more than likely at his mother for not telling him this information.

"You need to speak up, Mr. Black," Jack says, earning a glare from Ethan.

"She won't know anything about him either. That is part of a closed adoption. You don't get to know anything about where your child ends up. I didn't even know he lived in Abnegation until Robert said so today if in fact Jeffrey is our birth son."

"Do you have any other living male relatives?" Niles asks.

"No, I don't," he says.

"I have one last question for you, Mr. Black." Niles has obvious contempt in his voice for Ethan Black. Candor values honesty above all else and he keeps secrets … lots of them. "What is your deepest regret?" He's quiet for a long time, longer than I thought possible under truth serum without screaming in agony.

"I regret falling in love with two woman at the same time," he says then hangs his head again. I think that is the most honest thing that man has ever said in his entire life.

"We are going to take a 15 minute recess then Andrew Prior's interrogation will begin," Jack says. He walks directly to Four and me.

"Four, may I speak to you in private?" he asks.

"Only if Tris can come with me," Tobias says.

"You might not want to talk about this in front of her," Jack says.

"Tris and I have no secrets," Tobias says.

"Then by all means, she's welcome to join us," he says. We get up from where we've been sitting.

"We'll be right back," I say to Mom, Dad, and Caleb. He leads us through a door, down a hall, and into his office. It feels wonderful to stretch my legs.

"I know who you are, Tobias Eaton," Jack says after we all sit down. I try to keep the shock from altering my features but I don't manage it so if he was fishing for information, I just gave him everything that he needed to confirm his suspicion. "I thought some of your behavior was peculiar for a Dauntless member when we first met. You reminded me of several Abnegation members I've known over the years so I did some digging. Almost three years ago, Marcus Eaton's son defected to Dauntless even though he got a strong Abnegation result on his aptitude test. I put two and two together and realized who you are." What is it with leaders of factions knowing test results for random initiates? I don't like this one bit, and I can tell by his demeanor that Tobias doesn't like it either. "I'm not saying any of this to upset you or to out you. I would like to talk to you about your mother." We all are quiet for a time.

"What about her?" Tobias finally replies.

"I know this is probably a difficult subject for you since she died years ago but I was wondering if you know of any close friends she would have confided in, someone who can confirm her pregnancy."

"Have you talked to Marcus?" he asks.

"We tried to talk to him," Jack says with a sigh. "He slammed the door in our faces."

"That sounds like him," Tobias says. He takes a deep breath then adds, "Evelyn's not dead." Jack's jaw practically hits the floor.

"What do you mean?" he slowly asks, trying to regain his composure.

"Marcus faked her death after she left him. He couldn't stand her rejection so he lied," Tobias says. I can hear the pain in his voice but it's only because I know him so well. I reach out and put my hand on his back, rubbing lightly up and down letting him know I'm here for him. "You can talk to her but I'm afraid you can't put her under truth serum."

"Why not?" Jack asks. Tobias seems at a loss for words at the moment.

"She's pregnant. She's due in a little over four weeks. Truth serum wouldn't be advised," I say. "I doubt she would know much anyway. I'm sure you know about adoption laws. If they had a child they gave up to strangers, they aren't allowed to know any details of where the child goes. Isn't that right?"

"I'm afraid I don't know much about many of our laws. I immediately went into leadership training after my initiation," he says.

"You could try to talk to Evelyn," Tobias says. "But please don't upset her. She's on strict bed rest because of preeclampsia. If you want an official interview, will you please check with her doctor first and have him okay it. That's our daughter she's carrying."

"She's giving another child up for adoption? How many is that?" he says.

"I didn't know about the first adoption," Tobias says not answering the invasive question. "I was only a baby according to the ages Robert gave tonight. I would have been too young to remember her being pregnant. I'm totally baffled by this." Jack looks at the clock on the wall.

"We need to get your father's interrogation underway," he says addressing me.

"Okay," I say. "By the way, Evelyn goes by her maiden name now, Johnson, and we would appreciate your discretion."

"You've got it, Tris," he says shaking my hand. Then he shakes Tobias' hand. "Four, I hope I didn't offend you. I'm just trying to get at the truth." He leaves his office, and we slowly follow behind hand-in-hand.

"You okay?" I ask, suddenly worried about him. I'm sure he's not happy learning in front of a room full of strangers that his mother has been lying to him ... _again_.

"I honestly don't know. What if Jeffrey's my brother? I _know_ him, Tris. It's not like my sister. I've talked to him. I went to school with him. I volunteered with him," he says. "I need to talk to Robert and ask him where he got his information." I stop him before we go back in the interrogation room. I go up on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. He wraps me up in a strong embrace and returns my hug.

"I love you," I say moving my mouth to his for a quick kiss.

"I love you, too," he says after I release him. "Thanks for the hug. I really needed that." He holds the door open for me like the gentleman he is, and we go back to our seats, ready for Dad's interrogation. Mom gives me a concerned look but I just smile at her. If there is time later, I'll tell her about our conversation with Jack. I notice Dad standing in the center of the room talking amiably with Jack and Niles. When they see that Tobias and I have come back into the room, Niles motions for Dad to sit down on the familiar metal chair in the center of the room.

"I will have quiet now," Jack yells. "Niles is going to start Andrew Prior's interrogation." Niles goes through his ritual of prepping a suspect. I cringe when that thought goes through my mind. It's hard to think of my dad that way.

"Please give us your full name," Niles says when Dad visibly slumps in the chair, ready to answer any question given him.

"Andrew Johnathon Prior," he clearly says for all to hear, not a hint of confusion on his face.

"What are your parents' names?" he asks.

"Caleb and Beatrice Prior," he says. I hear Caleb gasp. I forgot he wasn't there when Dad told me about some of his past at Erudite.

"Are you married?" Niles asks.

"Yes," he says, "to Natalie Wright Prior."

"What faction were you born into and which faction did you choose?" he asks.

"I was born into Erudite and when the time came, I chose Abnegation," Dad says.

"What are your children's names?" Niles asks as if the entire city doesn't already know the names of the children who defected to Erudite and Dauntless from Abnegation.

"Caleb and Beatrice Prior," he says proudly with a smile. " _Yes_ , they were named after my parents." He's the oddest person I've even seen under truth serum. He's offering up information without having a question first, and he doesn't seem confused.

"Can you tell me what happened the morning of February 15?" Niles asks. Dad pauses but acts like he's not in any pain.

"No, I can't," Dad says, slowly shaking his head. "I can't remember that day. I heard what Robert Black said happened and it's like it happened to someone else. I don't remember doing any of it, and I don't have a clue as to who attacked me."

"Okay, let's change direction," Niles says. "How long have you been on the council?"

"It will be 18 years this September," he says.

"How long have you been the leader of the council?" he asks.

"Since December of last year," he says.

"Are you aware of the reports coming into Erudite about wrong doing on your part?" Niles asks. "The _anonymous_ reports?" Dad says. "Yes, I am. They are _all_ false."

"Do you have any idea who is sending these reports to Erudite about you?" Niles asks.

"My first guess was Marcus Eaton since I took his position as head of Abnegation but I have no proof of that," Dad says. "I have no other guess of who it could be."

"Do you know Jeffrey Walsh?" Niles asks.

"I know who he is but I don't personally know him," Dad says. "To my knowledge I've never spoken to him before."

"Okay," he says. "Now we are going to go over the allegations." He picks up a manila file folder sitting on the chair opposite Dad and shuffles through some paperwork. "Have you ever transferred assets from an Abnegation account into a personal account?"

"No."

"Have you ever physically, emotionally, or sexually abused your wife or children?" I cringe at that allegation. I've never heard it before.

"No," he says a lot calmer than most people would in such a situation.

"Do you know if and where there are any warehouses with pilfered goods stored?"

"No."

"Have you ever shown favoritism to any person on the council?"

"No."

"Have you ever asked for sexual favors in exchange for your assistance?"

"No."

"Have you ever asked for monetary gain in exchange for your assistance?"

"No."

"Have you been having an affair with another council member's wife?"

"No."

"Have you ever had an affair?" Dad hesitates for the first time since Niles started firing questions at him one after another. I see him cringe but I'm not sure if it's from pain or guilt. I hear the air go out of my mom's lungs like she was just punched in the chest.

"Yes," Dad says, hanging his head. My eyes widen, and I can't hold back a gasp. I immediately look toward my mom. She's sitting there, head held high much like Ellie Black's was when Mr. Black was being questioned. Something tells me she already knew the answer to that question before Dad said anything. "Once, right before I got married I made a huge mistake. My wife knows all about my indiscretion. I promised her then I would never hurt her like that again, and I've kept my promise for more than 20 years. I've never had another affair." It seems like Niles is enjoying this turn of events, watching my dad squirm. He actually has a snarky smirk on his face. I bet Niles is remembering Dru's interrogation last winter when Dad put him in his place about what questions were appropriate to ask a rape survivor and thinks his humiliation is his revenge.

"Who was the affair with?" he asks. My dad's mouth falls open, and he flinches from the pain coursing through his veins.

"Ellie Black," he says.

"You said you haven't had an affair with a council member's wife," Niles says. "How did you lie?"

"I didn't," Dad says. "You asked if I am _having_ an affair. I'm _not_. I had a one night stand over 20 years ago because I was stupid and having cold feet. I was talking with a friend who had just found out her husband was having an affair, and we let things go too far. We both immediately regretted it. I went to Natalie and told her what I'd done. I told her I'd never do anything like that again and I haven't. One positive thing came from that night. I realized how much I loved Natalie and that I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her. My worst grief turned into my greatest joy. She forgave me, and we got married as scheduled. I'm sorry the whole world found out such a personal matter. I'm especially sorry Natalie is having to endure this ... again." Not one person is saying a word. You could hear a pin drop in the enormous room. I see Jack say something into Niles' ear and he nods. He puts the folder he's been holding back in the chair and steps back.

"I'm sorry you and your family had to go through this, Mr. Prior," Jack says apologetically. "It is obvious you are innocent of all the charges coming into Erudite. We have one final question for you then we will administer the antiserum. Tell me, what is your greatest regret?"

"Up until a few moments ago, I would have said my one night stand but now my biggest regret is having my two beautiful children sit not 20 feet away from me and listen to how I betrayed their mother. That is something I never wanted to happen. I am _so_ sorry, Beatrice and Caleb." My mom, who is sitting between Caleb and me, takes our hands in hers and squeezes tightly. I look at her and notice her light green eyes are glistening with tears. This has been so hard on her. I'm having a hard time believing my dad could do something like this. It changes my whole perspective on their relationship. How can she trust him?

"Thank you for you honesty," says all the Candor members. I notice people filing out of the interrogation room looking over toward us. Some have disappointment on their faces. They probably wanted my dad to have committed some scandalous crimes they could go home and gossip about. Others are looking at us with pity on their faces. I want to stand and shout at them to mind their own business but I'm frozen in place. Niles injects the antiserum into my father's neck, and he immediately comes out from under the effects of the truth serum. His eyes clear but shame quickly fills them. He stays seated for a minute before he gets up and slowly walks toward us.

"I'll leave you alone so you can talk," Tobias says, standing up.

"No, sit back down, Four," Dad says. "You are a part of this family, too, and I owe each of you an apology." He takes a deep breath and looks like he's going to fall over. Tobias gets a chair and pulls it around so Dad can sit in front of us. "I'm sorry, Natalie. I know this has to bring up painful memories for you. If there was any way I could have spared you from having to hear about that night again, I would have. I didn't think they would ask that question. I wish he hadn't."

"You know I forgave you years ago, Andrew," Mom says, taking Dad's hands in hers. "You made a mistake. It proves that you are only human. I love you. I won't say these past few minutes haven't been some of the most difficult I've had to face but you don't have to apologize."

"How can you forgive him?" Caleb asks. "How could you have married him so soon after he cheated? Didn't you think you deserved better? I don't understand."

"I thought we had the perfect life," I say. "When I've thought about what I want my marriage to be, I've always looked to the both of you. But it's been a lie. I don't know how I feel about this."

"Caleb, I forgave your father because I loved him. I forgive him every day because I love him," Mom says. "Marriage is hard work. I won't lie. There were times the pain was crippling but through forgiveness I got you and your sister. I got many years with a loving partner. I also got to live the life I planned, the life I _wanted_.

"Beatrice, there is no such thing as perfect, and you already know that. You've just forgotten about the stress and arguments and bad times that go hand-in-hand with the joy and harmony and good times. And don't try to ... _emulate_ our marriage. Make your own way, make your own mistakes – there will be plenty, trust me – and make the life _you_ want to live.

"This news is quite a shock, and we're very sorry for that. Please don't blame your father alone for not telling you. We made that decision together many years ago. We didn't think it was an appropriate thing to let our children know. Believe me, I wish you both were still in the dark on this subject."

"I'm sorry I hurt you with this news," Dad says. "I love you two and your mother more than anything. I hope you believe that." I let my mind wander through my childhood. One of my earliest memories was lying in front of the fire listening to Dad tell stories of how his day went. He always embellished just a bit to make them more entertaining for Caleb and me, something totally against Abnegation rules I imagine. I remember him teaching me to help in the kitchen. Until right now, I only remembered Mom being with Caleb and me but he was always right there with us, too. I don't remember a time when they didn't look and act happy. If she forgave him, who am I to hold his affair, something that happened years before I was born, against him. I get up and wrap my arms around my dad's neck.

"I love you," I say. "I'm glad the truth serum dispelled the rumors."

"I love you, too, Beatrice," Dad says, tears in his eyes, hugging me back fiercely.

"You can forgive him just like that?" Caleb asks with disbelief plain on his face.

"It isn't me who needs to forgive him, Caleb," I say. "It's Mom and she forgave him years ago. Do I like what he did? _No_. Do I condone what he did? _Never_. But I don't want ancient history to affect our relationship _today_. I'm not going to tell you what to do. You never listen to me anyway." He gives me a slight grin. "Try not to hold on to the anger. It could leave you bitter." My soon-to-be father-in-law's face flashes across my mind. He's bitter because he's still angry at Evelyn I imagine.

"I can't say that I will ever be okay with any of this but I will try," Caleb says.

"We better get going before we get locked inside Candor," Tobias says. "I for one don't want that to happen."


	28. Chapter 28

Tobias and I leave the Merciless Mart almost immediately after Dad's heartfelt apology. We say goodbye to my parents, brother, and Cara then leave the Candor sector and drive toward home. I would really like to talk to him about everything we learned today about his mother and my father but he looks like he's a million miles away in his own world, and I don't want to bother him. He'll talk to me when he's ready. I stare out my window watching one glass and metal building blur into the next, thinking about the bombshells that were dropped in the interrogations today. First, Robert isn't the one who attacked my father. I was happy to hear that someone I've known my entire life, someone I consider a friend, isn't capable of the brutal assault but at the same time we still don't know exactly who it was that attacked my dad. If it was Jeffrey Walsh, why did he do it? What's his motive? Second, Evelyn has _another_ child with Ethan Black. I wonder if she would have ever told Tobias he has another sibling on her own. I also wonder why she kept his existence a secret when she told him about the other children. I feel so bad that this information came out in such a public way. It has to be eating at him. The only good thing is not many people know that Dauntless leader "Four" is actually Tobias Eaton, son of disgraced former Abnegation leader, Marcus Eaton, and his supposedly dead unfaithful wife, Evelyn Johnson Eaton. And third, my father had a one night stand with Ellie Black shortly before he and Mom got married. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around that tidbit of information. I thought I knew exactly who my dad was and what he stood for. This has me questioning everything. Tobias turns the car into the underground garage and parks in our usual parking space. He turns the car off and finally looks at me. He's extremely pale and distressed looking.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask, cupping his cheek. He closes his eyes, sighs, and leans into my hand.

"Let's talk about it later. Is that okay?" he asks. I nod and he leans over and brushes his lips against mine. "Let's go get Tyler so we can go home. It's been one hell of a day." He's got that right.

"Okay, maybe seeing him can salvage what's left of this day," I say. We get out of the car and walk hand-in-hand up to Zander and Stella's apartment in the family section of the compound. After knocking on their door, Stella lets us in. She tells us Tyler has just fallen asleep so we elect to get him home and turn down Zander and Stella's offer of a cup of coffee. Tobias carefully picks him up off their couch, we say goodbye, and thank them repeatedly for watching him this afternoon then make the short trek up to our apartment. Tobias carries him directly to his room with me following close behind them. Tyler must have played hard because he doesn't wake up while I'm changing him into his race car pajamas. I tuck him in, and we both kiss his forehead goodnight.

"It's still early," he says. "Let's go downstairs."

"Alright," I say. He goes down first and heads straight to the kitchen and starts a pot of coffee, which tells me it's going to be a long night because he has something to get off his chest. I sit down on the loveseat and watch him while he busies himself. He turns around and leans against the counter with his arms crossed protectively over his chest.

"Can we talk?" he asks. I know him so well.

"What do you want to talk about?" I ask.

"Evelyn," he mutters like it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. I should have known that already. "I don't think I can take Tyler to see her tomorrow. I don't trust myself to be in the same room with her for more than a minute without totally coming undone and saying something that I might regret later, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize the health of our daughter. I am so ... _angry_ ... disappointed ... frustrated ... _pissed_ _off_ ... disillusioned. God, I can't find the _right_ word. I feel like going to the tallest building in the city and screaming at the top of my lungs so that everyone can hear just what kind of person my mother is." He starts pacing back and forth in the kitchen. "I don't know why learning I have yet _another_ brother has thrown me so much. I knew sooner or later she would do something to screw everything up. Why can't I just have _one_ parent who isn't totally self-absorbed? One who loves their child the way a parent is supposed to." He stops pacing and pours two cups of coffee then comes to the living room and sits down next to me on the loveseat. He hands me my cup, puts his arm around me, and I lean into his side. "Will you take him to visit with her tomorrow? I can't punish Tyler just because I'm angry with her. He loves her and doesn't know the same woman I do. Keeping him away from her just because I'm angry wouldn't be fair to him."

"Of course, I'll take him. Should I tell her why you aren't there?" I ask.

"I don't think so," he says. "Even though I would love for her to know, we don't want to stress her out. It's not the baby's fault either. Just tell her I have a lot of work to get done before the wedding next week. It's not a lie. I do have a lot to do before I take two weeks off."

"Okay," I say. "I understand why you're not ready to see her and talk to her. She hid something very important from you. If Evelyn was here right now in front of us and there was absolutely _no_ possibility of her going into premature labor, what would you say to her?"

"I don't know," he says.

"Yes, you do, Tobias," I say. "Get it off your chest. It might help you to feel better." My heart squeezes looking into his eyes. He is in so much pain right now because of _her_. I hate her so much. Part of me wishes she never would have contacted him to let him know she was still alive.

"Okay," he says. He's quiet for a time just staring straight ahead, absentmindedly playing with my hair. "Do you love me at all? Have you _ever_ loved me? Do you have a motherly bone in your body? You keep having unprotected sex with a married man and bringing unwanted children into this world. Are you selfish, just lazy, or incredibly _stupid_? Did you _plan_ on having me with Marcus or was I unwanted too?

"Why did you leave me when I was 9 years old? Did I do something wrong? Was I a bad boy? Why didn't you take me with you? Why did you leave me with that monster? Did you stay awake nights worrying about what he was doing to me? You've told me on more than one occasion that you didn't believe he would ever abuse me the way he abused you when he was _already_ taking his frustrations out on me. Do you actually believe that or is it just _another_ lie? _I_ believe you lied. Do you try to make yourself feel better for lying to me? Did you turn a blind eye to what was happening in your home because you were so unhappy or did you just not care about anyone but yourself?

"How could you keep the existence of _another_ brother from me? Did you think I wasn't strong enough to handle the truth? Why did you abandon me, give _three_ children up for adoption, and keep Tyler? Why didn't you give him a chance at a normal life by putting him up for adoption like you did his three other siblings? Why did you keep him? You make him live a life with no hope for a future, and he doesn't deserve that, not at all. Do you actually _care_ about him at all? How can you be such a selfish human being?

"Do you want to know what hurts the most ... I still love you." His voice cracks on his last sentence. He's still staring straight ahead but I can see tears streaming down his face, and my heart breaks into a million pieces for him. I take our coffee mugs and set them on the end table then wraps my arms tightly around him and pull him close to me. He lays his head on my shoulder, wraps his arms tightly around me, and clings to me with all his might as he sobs like I've never heard him do before. Tears come to my eyes listening to his pain. "I'm sorry, Tris. I didn't mean to lose it." He leans back on the love seat and aggressively wipes the tears off his cheeks. I can tell he's embarrassed by his display even though he shouldn't be.

"Please don't apologize, Tobias. Your mother really hurt you," I say while running my fingers through his hair. "I had no idea."

"I'm sure I did deep down but I never let myself _feel_ it until right now. I have to say it was excruciating," he says looking at me with a sideways glance then he furrows his eyebrows. "I think she's worse than my father. I _know_ who he is and what he's capable of but I keep _forgetting_ who she is. I try to forgive her for what she's done and build a relationship with her and then I learn who she is all over again. She keeps duping me. I don't let Marcus walk all over me. Why do I keep letting her?"

"You want to love her. You want to forgive her. Can you do that unconditionally? If you think you can, you have to accept her for who she is, flaws and all. If you can't, you need to wash your hands of her once and for all. You have to do what is best for you, and only _you_ knows what that is."

"You are an extremely smart woman, Tris Prior. Have I ever told you that?" he says turning his body toward mine then slowly running his hand down my face in a loving caress. "How do I make that kind of decision? I'm not sure I can."

"You can do anything you set your mind to, and you have all the time in the world to make a decision as important as that. Just think about it," I say capturing his hand and bringing it to my mouth. I kiss our joined hands then let them fall between us. "There's no rush but once you make up your mind, commit to it."

"How are you doing with your dad's news?" he asks. "I was surprised when you gave him a hug and told him you loved him. I actually thought he'd get a slap in the face from you." I think about his question for a minute while staring into his eyes.

"I don't know how to answer that question, Tobias. I'm _not_ okay with what he did, not in the least. But I figured it wasn't _me_ who needed to forgive him. Mom forgave him, so who am I to hold it against him. Like I told Caleb, I don't want ancient history to come between us," I say. "I have to tell you what helped me the most was when I thought, _'What's the difference between yesterday when I was ignorant of his indiscretion and knowing what I know today?'_ All I could come up with was the _knowing_." My mind drifts a little bit thinking about Dad's interrogation. "It kind of turned my world upside down ... my view of the world anyway. If someone would have asked me yesterday if I thought my dad could or _would_ cheat on my mom I would have laughed in their face and said there's no way in hell he would ever do that. Learning _he_ of all people is capable of that kind of ... _betrayal_ makes me question who isn't capable of doing something like that."

"Do you honestly think _I_ would ever have sex with someone else? That I would want to," he asks. I stare into his dark blue eyes and think about his question.

"I know you would never cheat on me," I say. "You love me too much to hurt me like that."

"You think I love you too much?" he asks.

"You love me more than I deserve," I say with a sigh, hanging my head. There is still a very large part of me who doesn't think I deserve him.

"Beatrice Grace Prior, you are totally absurd," he says with a sigh. I raise my eyes to meet his. "Sometimes I don't understand you."

"I know," I say. "I am being a bit absurd tonight. Are _you_ having cold feet?"

"Where's _that_ coming from?" he asks with a frown on his face.

"I was thinking about Dad," I say. "He had a one night stand because he was having cold feet. Just to let you know, I'd rather have you tell me you're having doubts so we can talk about it than have you think about having sex with someone else." He moves his face right into mine.

"I'm _not_ your father. I'm _not_ going to fall into someone else's bed because I'm having second thoughts and, by the way, I'm not _having_ second thoughts," he says, leaning in and putting his lips on mine. He pulls away after a minute and slowly adds, "Are _you_ having second thoughts?"

"Oh, God, no!" I say, shaking my head, which brings a huge smile to his face. I love his smile so much. "No cold feet here. If I'm being perfectly honest with you though, I'm a little nervous about the wedding ceremony and reception but I'm looking forward to the marriage. _That's_ the important part to me. I've said this to a couple people but I'd be happy if next Wednesday was already here and gone."

"Really? Most women know exactly what they want their perfect wedding to be and if every little detail isn't just right, they have a meltdown," he says. "I know, I've seen it." The look on his face makes me laugh out loud.

"I know girls like that, too," I say, still laughing. "It might surprise you but I'm not one of them. When I was a little girl, I didn't have my dream wedding all planned out. I didn't fantasize about what kind of flowers I would use or what the perfect dress would look like. I didn't know what colors I just _had_ to have or what songs I'd be playing at the reception. When I thought about getting married, I always tried to envision the kind of guy I would like to spend the rest of my life with. I thought about what qualities a man had to have not what I would dance my first dance to. I dreamt of a perfect husband _not_ a perfect wedding. _You_ are the most important detail for me. You always have been, and you always will be. I will never have second thoughts when it comes to you."

"I'm glad to hear that," he says. He slowly pushes me back, watching my reaction, until he is partially lying on top of me. He is holding himself, making sure I'm not getting his entire weight. He unhurriedly lowers his mouth back to mine and kisses me slowly as I wrap my arms around his neck. As the passion builds, he pushes his tongue into my mouth and explores every inch. I let my hands roam over his back and feel his hands slowly start to climb up my body from where they have been sitting on my waist. I try to keep the panic at bay but when he gently covers my breast, I tense up. He immediately moves his hand back to my waist but doesn't stop kissing me. I immediately relax and let him make love to my mouth with his talented tongue. When we can no longer breathe, he slowly pulls away from me and runs his hand gently down my face. I need to apologize for tensing up, and I start to open my mouth but he stops me.

"Don't you _dare_ apologize, Tris," he says seeing sorrow in my eyes. "This time last week I couldn't even kiss you without you pushing me away. Now look at us. I think we are doing amazing."

"I love you so much for being patient with me," I say. "What irritates me the most is that I want you ... _so_ _much_ ... but when you touch me."

"I said you don't have to apologize," he says, cutting me off.

"I'm not," I say, interrupting him. "You need to know how I'm feeling. Isobel told me to make sure that I'm sharing things with you. It _kills_ me that I'm not ready to make love to you when I want to so badly. Thank you for waiting. I know you say your fine with not having sex but Tobias, I can _feel_ you. I know what you want." He closes his eyes and presses his forehead to mine. When he opens them, he has a sheepish look on his face. He cups the side of my face with his hand, and I lean into it.

"I'm not lying to you when I tell you that I'm perfectly fine not having sex. It's the truth. I'll wait forever for you if that's what you need," he says, an intense fire burning just below the surface of his penetrating gaze. "I _would_ be lying to you, however, if I didn't say that yes, I would give anything right now to be inside of you, making love to you. I want you so bad right now in this moment that it actually hurts." I flinch a little at his powerful words. "Scaring you isn't my intention. I'm sorry." I put my hand on his, and we stare into each other's eyes. Can I make love to him right now? I want to so bad but the thought has my heart hammering in my chest like a freight train. He moves off of me, making my decision for me.

"Maybe we should get ready for bed," I say.

"Okay," he says. "And by the way, I love you, too." He holds his hand out to me and helps me off the couch. When we reach the top of the stairs I hear Tyler start to cry.

"Why don't you use the bathroom first and I'll check on Tyler," I say. He kisses me a little longer than he should and then groans. I imagine a cold shower is in store for him tonight, and I feel really bad about that. I go into Tyler's room and find him sitting up in his bed crying.

"Hi, buddy," I say. "Are you okay?"

"Twis, too dawk," he says.

"I'm so sorry," I say. "Four and I were downstairs. We didn't have the lights on. Did you wake up and not know where you were?" He nods sleepily. "You fell asleep at Zander and Stella's house, and you didn't wake up when we brought you home. I already put you in your jammies. Would you like to rock with me for a little while. I sure could use the company."

"Yeah," he says. I pick him up and carry him across his room and sit down in the wooden rocking chair. He snuggles into me as we rock. I don't know which one of us loves this the most, him or me?

"Did you have fun with Zane and Avery today?" I ask, knowing it will take him a little while to fall back to sleep.

"Yeah. Pawk fun," he says. "Had nilla ice cweam."

"Yummy! I love vanilla," I say. "I'm glad you had a nice time. You better try to get back to sleep."

"Okay, love you," he says around a yawn. It always makes me smile when he tells me he loves me spontaneously.

"I love you too, Tyler, to the moon and back," I say kissing the top of his head. I rock with him until he falls back to sleep then I get up and put him back in his bed. I switch his nightlight on then partially close his door. Tobias is out of the bathroom so I take a quick shower. I'm in-and-out in less than five minutes. I put on one of his old t-shirts and a pair of underwear and slide into bed next to him. I lie my head on his chest and breathe in his scent. He draws me to his side and plays with my hair. We cuddle close together until we fall asleep. My dreams are relatively normal. I only wake up once in a panic from the chasm dream. I remind myself it's not real, and I do the deep breathing Tobias taught me. I relax and fall back into a peaceful sleep for the rest of the night.


	29. Chapter 29

My heart is pounding in my ears as Tyler and I pull into one of the hospital's underground parking garages so he can have 30 minutes of visitation with Evelyn. This is the last thing I want to do today, especially in light of what Tobias and I found out yesterday during Robert and Ethan Black's interrogations but I can't deny Tyler much-needed time with his mother just because I can't stomach looking at her. I get Tyler out of the car and take the elevator up to the fifth floor. We make our way through the maze of hallways to the obstetrics' wing waiting room. We have at least 15 minutes until the charge nurse will bring Evelyn down so I dig around in Tyler's diaper bag and retrieve his dump truck and fire engine. I hand them to him, and he quietly sits at my feet playing. After he has played for a little while, he stands up and gives me back his toys.

"You sure do look handsome today," I say, straightening his black button down shirt.

"Tanks," he says. "Sit wit you?"

"Of course," I say, picking him up and putting him on my lap. "Do you want your milk?" He nods his head at me so I get his sippy cup out of the bag and give it to him. He drinks the milk while cuddling into me. "Do you know what we are doing here?" He looks up over his head into my eyes and smiles.

"No," he says.

"Do you remember Four telling you that I was going to bring you to see your mommy," I say.

"Yeah," he says with a little frown. "You no leave me, Twis."

"I'm not going anywhere, buddy," I say.

"Tris Prior?" a young woman with shoulder length blonde hair dressed in Erudite colors says to me. "My name is Sheila Watkins. I'm Tyler's social worker." She nervously adjusts her glasses then sticks her hand out to me, and I shake it. "I'm sorry we haven't met sooner. I usually speak to your fiancé, Four. How is Tyler doing?"

"I think he's doing very well," I say. "We're here today to visit his mother."

"I know," she says. "The hospital notified me of their meeting. I'm required to monitor their interactions since they haven't been in contact for some time."

"We wanted to bring him sooner but the hospital wouldn't let us," I say, suddenly feeling like _I'm_ the one being evaluated.

"I know," she says with a warm smile on her face. "I, too, tried to get them to loosen their restrictions in this situation but they wouldn't budge. How did you manage to change their minds after all this time?"

"I'm a little embarrassed to say this but my father intervened on Tyler's behalf," I say. Confusion crosses her face. "I was complaining about the fact that he hasn't seen his mother in almost three months. Dad called the hospital's administrator at home and got this meeting arranged." She still looks like she doesn't understand. She must not know who my dad is, which is strange. I thought everyone knows who he is. "My dad is Andrew Prior." Recognition lights her face.

"Beatrice Prior," she says.

"It's just Tris now," I say. "I changed my name when I joined Dauntless last July. I'm sorry. I though you knew."

"If I'd really thought about it, I would have figured it out," she says. "Well I'm glad your father was able to do what we haven't been able to do in all these months. Will Four be joining us today?"

"No, I'm afraid he won't," I say. "It's just Tyler and me today."

"Twis," Tyler says with a frown. "Go home now. Peas?"

"Don't you want to see your mother, Tyler?" Sheila asks. Tyler looks up at me.

"No. Want Twis," he says and I blush. He hasn't been this clingy for weeks. A look of concern comes over Sheila's face.

"Tyler," Evelyn says from a wheelchair down the hallway. He turns his head at the sound of his name and looks at her. He sits on my lap staring blankly at his mother. "Oh, honey. I've missed you so much." Sheila moves across the sizable room to give the mother and son some alone time but I notice that she doesn't take her eyes off of us. The nurse parks the wheelchair in front of Tyler and me and sets the brake.

"I'll be back every five minutes to check on your vitals," she says looking at the numbers on the monitor Evelyn is attached to. "If the baby becomes distressed, you will be taken back to your room immediately, otherwise you have 30 minutes. Have a good visit, Evelyn." I have to keep her calm. We can't have the baby in any danger.

"Why don't you come see me," Evelyn says, holding his arms out to Tyler. He clings to me all the while staring at her with furrowed eyebrows. It's almost like he doesn't remember who she is. She slowly lowers her arms and slides her eyes to mine. "Where is Tobias?"

" _Four_ couldn't come today," I say emphasizing the name he has told her to call him countless times. "He has a lot of work to do before the wedding and honeymoon so he didn't think he could take the extra time off to bring Tyler to see you so he asked me to do it for him. I hope you don't mind."

"I do wish he could be here but I understand," she says. "Thank you for bringing him to see me, Beatrice." Yep, my name still sounds like an expletive.

"Tyler, do you know who this is? It's your mommy! Do you want to say hi?" I say. He sits quietly, holding onto me for dear life. Is it possible for him to have forgotten who she is in such a short amount of time? No, that can't be it even though he's acting like he doesn't know her. I study her appearance and try to put myself in his place. She's a lot bigger than she was the last time he saw her. Her complexion is healthier but she seems like she is retaining fluid so her face is quite a bit fuller. Since she's been in the hospital she's had access to a bathroom with a shower so she's cleaner than she used to be. It is possible he just doesn't recognize her. I think he might recognize her voice if I can get her talking. "Try talking to him. I don't think he recognizes you."

"I sure have missed you," Evelyn says. "It's nice to see your face. You look different wearing all black. Don't get used to that." I see him frown at her, and I can't help but join him.

"Can you tell Mommy what you've been doing lately with me and Four?" I say trying to ignore Evelyn's passive aggressive comment. "Can you tell her about going to the park with your friend Zane yesterday?"

"Went pawk wit Zane and Avey," Tyler shyly says. Evelyn looks toward me.

"That's right. Avery was with you, too," I say. "Avery is Tyler's babysitter."

"How often do you leave him?" she asks with a hateful tone. I take a deep calming breath and smile at her. She is making it increasingly difficult not to be rude to her.

"He goes to daycare Monday through Saturday when Four and I are at work. Avery watches him most Saturday nights and an occasional Friday night.

"That much?" she asks sounding appalled. "I'm surprised he even knows who _you_ are. You don't spend enough time with him."

"Love Avey," Tyler says with a huge pout. "Love _Twis_." He may only be 2 years old but he knows he's being talked about and not in a friendly way. "Go home now, Twis. _Peas_?"

"We'll go home soon, buddy," I say. "I promise."

"It's not his home," she says under her breath but loud enough for me to hear. God, how I hate this woman. She is a horrid human being. If she wasn't so close to delivering the baby ... _my_ baby, I'd unload on her. I can't wait for the day I can tell her just what I think of her. But I swallow my pride and sit Tyler on his feet and pick up his diaper bag. This day is about him, not me. I give him the small bag of cookies we baked especially for Evelyn just this morning and give it to him.

"Remember, you baked those especially for your mommy," I say. "You want to share them with her?" He takes a tentative step forward and then another and hands Evelyn the bag of home baked chocolate chip cookies. After she takes it from his small hand, he comes right back to me and holds his arms up. I pick him back up and put him on my lap. My eyes momentarily slide to Evelyn's, and she is seething. I can't help but flinch.

"Hello, Evelyn," I hear Tobias say, startling me.

"Fo!" Tyler says reaching for him. "Hi! Go home now?"

"Hi, buddy," Tobias says picking Tyler up off my lap and sitting down beside me. "No, we aren't going home yet." He kisses Tyler's head and gives me a quick peck on the cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't come with you and Tris but I'm here now." I reach out and take his hand and squeeze it. I am so thankful he's here as a buffer between his mother and me.

"I am so glad you are here," I say, "but we only have about 10 minutes left."

"Tyler, baby, please come over here and see Mommy," she says. He shakes his head and starts crying.

"Hey, why the tears?" I ask, lovingly wiping them away. "You know you don't have to do anything you don't want to do but, buddy, don't you miss your mommy? She sure misses you. Do you think you can give her a hug if Four holds you?" He says no very loudly, lunges at me, and buries his head in my chest. "I'm truly sorry, Evelyn. I didn't know he would react this way, or I wouldn't have had this visit arranged."

"I know," she says with an exaggerated sigh like she doesn't believe me. "Well, Tyler Aaron, the nurse is coming to take me back to my room. I love you so much." He peeks at her.

"Bye," he says then he looks up at me. "Go home now?"

"Yeah, we'll take you home now," Four says.

"Tobias, aren't you going to stay and visit with me?" she asks. "I'd like at least _one_ son to be happy to see me." I look at Tobias and I see his jaw tighten. That probably isn't the best thing to say to him today of all days.

"No, Evelyn. I'm not staying. I have a lot of work to do. I'm on my lunch hour and came to pick up Tris and Tyler," he says. "And by the look of things, I was right to come." Without another word, the nurse wheels Evelyn back to her room.

"Good afternoon, Four," Sheila says. "I wasn't expecting you here today."

"I honestly hadn't planned on it," he says, "but I'm glad I came. Tyler doesn't look like he did very well with seeing her."

"May I speak to the two of you in private?" she asks. "Tyler can play in the daycare center with the other kids. I won't take up much of your time. My office is this way." We follow her to a small office right next door to the daycare center. We tell Tyler we'll be right back and give him his trucks to play with. He sits down in a corner by himself and plays quietly. After we are seated, Sheila pulls a large file folder out of the cabinet behind her.

"What's this about?" Tobias asks. "Is there a problem?"

"No problems that I can see," she says. "It's just the opposite. I would like to know if the two of you have ever considered adopting Tyler." I can't believe my ears at the moment. I'm not really hearing what I think I'm hearing, am I? I must be having a dream or a nightmare depending on how you look at it. I can't believe that Tyler's social worker is broaching the subject of adoption. I _can't_ hear this unless she truly means it.

"What do you mean?" I timidly ask.

"Just what I said," she says, adjusting her glasses again. "Tyler has flourished under your care. He is _not_ the same boy he was three short months ago. From what I witnessed today, you two can provide him with a stable home that Evelyn cannot."

"You can't take him away from her," I say. Sheila looks at me like I'm crazy but she doesn't know about my greatest fear. "Once he sees her on a more regular basis, he'll get more comfortable with her. He does love her. I've held him while he cried for her. He was just a bit confused and overwhelmed today."

"If it's in his best interest, we can and _will_ take him away from her. She is factionless and has no real means to care for him. She has no home, no job. He was malnourished and frail three months ago. That is what got me involved. I don't cherish the thought of taking a child away from their birth parent or parents but if it needs to be done, I will do it," she gruffly says. "If the determination is made that Evelyn Johnson is not in the best interest of the minor child, Tyler Johnson, I need to know if you would be open to adopting him. This isn't a guarantee by any means but if you say no and he's taken from her, he'll be adopted out to a family in the city and you will have no further contact with him ever again. That being said, it is my opinion after watching your interaction today that he would be best off in your care. He already thinks of you two as his parents, that much is obvious." I hear every word Sheila says but I don't comprehend them. If Social Services takes Tyler from Evelyn, whether I think it's a good idea or not, he could be adopted out, and I would never see him again. No, _that_ can't happen. If he's with his mom, we'll still get to see him at times. I wouldn't survive the crushing pain I'm feeling right now just _thinking_ about never looking into his pale blue eyes or combing his curly dark locks or hearing his angelic little laugh ever again. I look at Tobias and immediately see what I'm feeling mirrored in his eyes.

"If you determine my mother is not what's best for Tyler, Tris and I would be more than honored to adopt him. As a matter of fact that would make us both extremely happy," Tobias says. "Would you need his father's permission also?"

"Yes, do you have his name and contact information?" she asks.

"I do," he says. "His name is Ethan Black. He lives in Abnegation with his wife, Ellie. I guess I can give you his contact information after yesterday." She must know about yesterday's interrogations because she doesn't look confused by his comment. He writes his name, address, and phone number on a sheet of paper and slides it across her extremely neat desk. "His wife knows about his extramarital affair and of the children he's fathered with Evelyn so it won't come as a shock if you speak to her. Tyler's never met Mr. Black before. He's never wanted anything to do with any of the children they had together, at least that's what Evelyn told me."

"May I ask why you call your mother by her first name?" Sheila asks.

"This isn't something I like to talk about, Sheila, but it's something you should know," he says. He's silent for a moment before he continues. "She abandoned me when I was 9 years old. She knowingly left me with my abusive father. It's hard for me to think of them as Mom and Dad. It's more natural to call them Evelyn and Marcus."

"I see. That is interesting news. Thank you for your honesty, Four," she says. "Will you be bringing him back to see her next Monday?"

"Yes," I say.

"Okay," she says. "I will put that on my schedule. I see everything's been going well with the home visits." Once a month, a little old Erudite man with gray hair and black horn-rimmed glasses that looks like he could be blown away in a windstorm has come to our home to check on Tyler's living conditions and wellbeing. Even though he is a man of few words, he's always seemed impressed. "Thank you for stepping up and taking care of Tyler. He's lucky to have you two."

"We're glad to do it," I say. "I can't imagine my life without knowing him."

"Well that is all I have today," she says, standing up. We all shake hands again and walk into the hallway. I can see Tyler through the glass doors, and I start to let myself hope like I've never hoped before. I look into Tobias' eyes with tears in mine.

"Come here," he says. I rush into his open arms. I can't let myself get my hopes up that one day I will hear him call me Mommy. I breathe in Tobias' scent and it calms me immediately. "We can't go there yet, Tris. I know what's running through that beautiful head of yours."

"I know, Tobias. I know," I whisper into his chest. "How did you get here? Did you jump a train?" He nods at me.

"Yeah, I didn't think I should leave you alone in this," he says. "I'm glad I made the right decision. She wasn't very nice to you. Is she always that way when I'm not around?" I hate to add more fuel to the fire but I think the truth is what's needed right now.

"She doesn't like me very much," I say. "She's never said anything specific, it's just how she talks to me."

"I'm so sorry. I was really hoping that one of my parents could treat you with the same respect your parents have shown me," he says. "Let's get Tyler home. Even though you've only been here a little over an hour, I'm sure it was exhausting for you."

"It was," I say. Being around his family is always exhausting for me. He gets Tyler from the daycare center, and we walk to the car. I let him drive home. He's a much better driver than I am. There's still plenty of work day left so we drop Tyler off at the daycare center and tell him we'll meet him for supper at 6:00 p.m. Then we walk hand-in-hand back to the Pire and go into our separate offices for the rest of the afternoon.


	30. Chapter 30

Christina exiled me to my bathroom to take a relaxing bubble bath since my nervous energy has had me bouncing off the walls today. I get the temperature of the water just right, fill the oversized tub, and add the relaxing scent of the lavender bubble bath she let me borrow. It's a pleasant scent, not overwhelming at all like some of my bath salts and lotions. I pull my hair up in a messy bun near the top of my head, slide my silk robe off my shoulders, and hang it on the back of the bathroom door. I put a fluffy white towel on the towel rack then step into the bath and sit down in the mountain of white bubbles. I can't believe that in a little over 24 short hours I can finally call myself Mrs. Tobias Eaton. If I'm being totally honest with myself, it's all I've wanted since our eyes locked when he reached up and helped me out of the net. We have the walk through and wedding rehearsal dinner at the old Crystal Gardens building at the Navy Pier at 8:00 p.m. tonight. Christina and I discussed having it outside at the Ferris wheel where the actual ceremony will be held tomorrow but I'm glad we decided to have tonight's festivities indoors. It's been raining heavily most of the day but luckily tomorrows forecast calls for zero clouds, warm temperatures, and no wind. It will be a perfect day for an outdoor wedding. I need to stop thinking about tomorrow because it's making me even more nervous. I inhale the scent that's encircling me and think about the past week.

I went to Abnegation the middle of last week for a council meeting. We accomplished a lot during the eight hour session. We voted to loosen the restrictions on faction before blood. Faction members can lawfully stay in contact with their family members if they desire to do so. It is now encouraged to get to know members of other factions in hopes of making sure one faction never again wants to overthrow another. Caleb brought up his idea of letting factionless 16-year-olds choose a faction at the Choosing Ceremony just like every other 16 year old in a city does. It was embraced by all and was voted into law that very day. All they have to do is go to Candor and get their birth records. If there is no record of their birth, they have to have a parent accompany them to Candor to fill out some paperwork to get a replacement birth certificate. I could tell by the look on Dad's face he was extremely proud of his son, and I don't blame him. It was an ingenious idea that came out of a two minute conversation we had about Evelyn.

Tobias, Will, Tori, and I had a lengthy meeting yesterday morning preparing them for our almost two-week absence. We went over the incident reports before I filed them away. We've had two more men complain of missing points from their accounts but we've had no video footage of the woman at the bar or any men checking themselves into the infirmary with the intoxication-like symptoms, so she's still a mystery to us. After the meeting was over, Tobias handed over the keys to the kingdom, so to speak, to Tori and Will and instructed them to only disturb us in the event of a dire emergency, and they agreed. They also told us not to worry about work, and that is advice I plan to take.

We still don't know who is behind Dad's attack. Since we're so close to our wedding date, Jack decided to postpone Jeffrey's interrogation until after our honeymoon so we can be present. He has assured us though that his DNA is a match to that found on my dad's wounds. So for the next two and a half weeks he is going to be sitting in a cell at Candor. If he's guilty of the attack, then he deserves to be locked up but if he can explain his DNA away, then we are back at square one, and he's been locked up for nothing just like Robert was. Tobias tried to get ahold of Robert to talk to him about their shared brother but he had no luck. Since it was learned that he did nothing wrong, after his interrogation Robert was free to go back to Amity, and he hasn't returned any of Tobias' phone messages. He told me he would try again after the honeymoon.

Tobias and I took Tyler to see Evelyn again yesterday afternoon but it went no better than it did last Monday. As a matter of fact it actually went worse, and I didn't think that was possible. He ignored her for 20 straight minutes, begging us to go home the entire time. When he broke down and started crying, I couldn't take any more. I figured that right now he's _our_ responsibility, and he didn't want to see her so I picked him up and carried him to the car. I could tell that Evelyn wasn't happy with me but I didn't care. He calmed immediately after we left. I asked him question upon question trying to get a reason for his unusual behavior but it isn't always easy understanding what goes through a 2 year olds mind. He kept saying something over and over but the only thing I could make out was that he wanted to go home. I honestly think he doesn't recognize her. That is the only explanation that I can come up with. Maybe after the baby is born and she's looking more like her old self, he will warm up to her. After about half-an-hour of sitting in the car, Tobias finally came. Once Tyler fell asleep on the way home, he told me the social worker brought up the adoption again and this time in front of his mother. He was appalled with Sheila at first because of putting the baby in danger but apparently Evelyn saw it coming. She doesn't _like_ the idea of giving Tyler up but she isn't totally against it, which I have mixed emotions about. On one hand, she would be giving him a chance at a better life but on the other hand, what kind of mother keeps giving away her children. I have to remind myself quite often not to get my hopes up but it isn't easy. I love that little boy with all my heart, and I know he loves me.

Tobias and I had a date last Saturday night, and I still can't believe he took me to the tattoo parlor. He had me get all dressed up, which I didn't mind doing. I love dressing up for him. When we got close to the Pit, he tied a black cloth over my eyes. I was a bit panicky at first but he kept whispering in my ear the whole way. I noticed it heightened my other senses. I could hear snickers, laughter, and whispers I know were aimed at us. I could smell dirt, dampness, ink, sweat, and metal in the air on our walk. I was surprised I was able to pick out so many different scents. I could feel every brush of Tobias' hand on my lower back, leading me safely down the path to our destination and every feathery touch of his lips in my hair with his phantom kisses he didn't know I knew he was giving me. When he took the blindfold off, I was genuinely astonished. We were in a side room at the tattoo parlor. He had a table set up with a romantic candle lit dinner for two. I kept asking why the tattoo parlor but he wouldn't tell me until after dessert, which was the heavenly cheesecake like we had on Valentine's Day. That is when he told me he was going to get a tattoo that represented me as my wedding present. I burst into tears and immediately blamed it on the hormones. I don't know why I hadn't figured out why he took me there, but I never did. Tori came into the room when we finished eating to do his tattoo, my name, Beatrice Grace, over his heart. She gave me a special ink pen and had me write my name on his chest then she tattooed over it. I asked if we could do something else, and of course he said yes, so I had Tori put infinity symbols on the inside of our left wrists. On the upper left loop, Four was spelled out and on the lower right loop, Six was spelled out ... never breaking the continuous line that has become a symbol of our never-breaking, never-ending love.

Under normal circumstances we would have went home and made love but the trauma of Peter's attack is still weighing heavily on me. I'm getting much better but I still haven't been able to bring myself to relax enough to move things to the next level. When I think that way, I kind of laugh at myself. It makes me sound like a naïve virgin instead of a pregnant woman who is about to get married tomorrow. We actually did try to make love that night, and I went the farthest I've gone since that afternoon in the training room but I stopped him at the last minute. We talked afterward. I tried to apologize once again but he shut me down. I'm not sure I would be as understanding if our roles were reversed. We agreed we would back off and not try again until our honeymoon, and I've been more relaxed about his touch. Knowing it's not going to lead anywhere has really empowered me. I can handle his touch without tensing, and we've been messing around ... _a lot_.

Peter is still at large. Tobias has his best men trying to track him down but he's still evading us. It's like he's disappeared. The one thing I know as fact is he's not hiding out in Dauntless. He's somewhere in the city so I no longer feel scared walking around the compound by myself. I can even go into the training room without feeling like my head is going to explode. Isobel has me go into the training room every day for increasing periods of time, which is beneficial for me on many levels. If I have to train initiates in a few months, I have to be able to enter that room without breaking down.

I'm thankful I've been talking to Isobel. I talk to her nearly every day even if we just text back and forth. She was right the day she came to my office to offer me her services. She's made me confront demons I didn't even know I had. I'm also incredibly grateful that I finally opened up to Tobias and Christina. That helped me a lot. I don't think I would be getting back to _me_ so quickly if it weren't for talking to them.

"That is a lot of bubbles," Tobias says from the doorway. I look at him and smile.

"They are supposed to be relaxing me," I say. "Christina let me borrow this." I reach over the side of the tub and hand him the bottle. He opens it and smells the delicate scent.

"That smells good," he says. "It's very light. Is it helping?"

"If I keep my mind off the wedding, yes," I say bashfully.

"Well, we have to leave in about an hour and have to drop Tyler off at the Parrish's first," he says. "You might want to get ready."

"I'll get ready only if you tell me what you did today," I say. He's been gone since right after breakfast. He smiles that gorgeous smile of his, and it melts my heart.

"Nope," he says with a slightly evil-looking grin. I wonder what he's up to. "You don't need to know what I was doing today. It's honeymoon related." Not knowing where he is taking me is _killing_ me.

"You're mean!" I say finally noticing that he's ready for tonight dressed in a pair of black tailored pants, black loafers, and a long-sleeved black, white, and gray pinstriped shirt. "You look fantastic by the way." I let my eyes wander over his body.

"Thank you," he says. "Tyler and I will wait for you downstairs." He kneels down and kisses me. "I love you.

"I love you, too," I say. "I'll hurry." He kisses my forehead then straightens up, turns, and walks out of the bathroom. I take the plug out of the drain, stand up, and wrap myself in the fluffy towel. After I dry myself thoroughly, I put my robe on, put my hair in an Abnegation style bun at the back of my head only because it won't lay the way I want it to, and do my makeup. I go into my bedroom and put on my new black long-sleeved knee length cocktail dress that clings to my newly found curves but isn't skin tight and 3-inch high heel peekaboo toed pumps. I look at myself in front of the full length mirror and realize my teardrop necklace will look great with the square neckline of this outfit. The pushup bra I'm wearing actually makes me look like I have cleavage, that and the pregnancy. I put the necklace and earrings on and rummage in my dresser drawer for my platinum charm bracelet but I can't find it anywhere. I swear I put it back after I wore it last. I hurry downstairs.

"Tobias, do you know where my charm bracelet is? I can't find it anywhere," I say. He is standing in the middle of the living room, and the look on his face takes my breath away and stops me in my tracks. He is seductively looking me up and down. My mouth goes instantly dry, and I dart my tongue out to wet my lips, and he groans softly.

"You are absolutely gorgeous," he says and I can't help but smile at him.

"Twis, pwitty," Tyler says. I tear my eyes away from Tobias', which is quite a feat and look down at Tyler.

"Thank you," I say. He laughs loudly at me. I look back at Tobias, and he's holding my bracelet. "There it is." I walk up to him and look into his eyes. "What did you do?"

"I got you a wedding gift," he says putting my bracelet on my left wrist. It has a new charm, a platinum bell that actually clangs hanging opposite the last charm he got me shortly after we got engaged, a platinum diamond ring.

"It's beautiful," I whisper. "Thank you." I wrap my arms around his neck and draw his mouth to mine. I kiss him slowly for a while until I hear Tyler's little laugh. He moves his mouth from mine, and we look at the giggle box. He's sitting on the couch covering his eyes with his little hands. When I see him, I can't help but laugh with him. Tobias lets me go and picks him up and puts him on his shoulders.

"Well, it's time to get this party started!" Tobias says. We walk to Zander and Stella's apartment to drop off Tyler for the night. He's also going to spend the 10 days Tobias and I are on our honeymoon with them. I'm going to miss him like crazy.

"You have a good time with Zane tonight," I say when Tobias and I are standing in the Parrish living room. "You need to listen to what Zander and Stella tell you. I'll see you tomorrow night. Give me a big hug." He lunges at me and hugs me tightly. "I love you so much, Tyler. I'm going to miss you."

"Love you, Twis," he says then gives me a big wet kiss on the mouth. "Love you, Fo." He leans over and wraps his arms around Tobias' neck and kisses him, too. "See you 'morrow."

"I love you, too, buddy," he says. "You be good and have a good time. I'll see you in the morning."

"Thanks for everything, Zander, Stella," I say. "I don't know how we will ever repay you."

"Oh, that's easy," Stella says with a gleam in her eyes. "You'll have to watch our six kids so we can go on a 10-day second honeymoon." My mouth drops open as I stare at her in disbelief. "Relax, Tris. I was just kidding." She rolls her pretty green eyes at me. I'm sure she is but I'm still having a little trouble breathing.

"We might be able to watch Zane one night before Tyler goes back to his mother," Tobias says. At the mention of Tyler leaving, fear squeezes my heart painfully.

"He would love that and maybe Mommy and Daddy would too," Zander says looking lovingly at Stella.

"Thanks again," Tobias says. "We're running a little late so we're going to have to go." We say our final goodbyes, kiss and hug Tyler again, and head toward the Navy Pier. "Nervous?" I look at him in the glow of the blue dashboard lights and desire stirs in the pit of my stomach for the first time in ages.

"A little," I say, shaking off the desire. We definitely don't have time for it now. "But I know tonight is to make tomorrow easier for us. Are _you_ nervous?"

"I'll save my nervousness for tomorrow, okay?" he says.

"Okay! Deal," I say with a chuckle. "Let's just enjoy ourselves tonight." There used to be an underground parking garage under the Crystal Gardens that would be very convenient tonight but it hasn't been used in decades so Tobias turns into a gravel parking area across from the Navy Pier. Thankfully, the rain has stopped because we have to walk the rest of the way.

"I never told you how beautiful you look tonight," Tobias says holding my door open for me. He helps me out of the car, and I immediately go into his arms. I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him aggressively, surprising him. When we can no longer breathe, I pull away from him. "Wow! Um, what was that for?"

"I love you, and I can't believe that we will be married this time tomorrow. By the way, you did tell me you thought I looked beautiful earlier," I say with what must be a goofy grin on my face. "I'm just excited." I take his left hand in mine and press my lips lovingly to the pulse point on his wrist that lays directly beneath the infinity symbol tattoo. "Shall we go?"

"You're kind of scaring me, Tris," he says with his eyebrows furrowed. "I haven't seen you this ... _happy_ in quite some time. You're not ... putting on a happy front are you?" I stop in my tracks and whirl around to look him in the eyes.

"Why would you think that?" I say, angry now.

"I'm sorry, Tris," he says with a sigh. "I didn't mean to offend you. You just seem different tonight."

"I _am_ different, Tobias. I thought you knew that already. If you're wondering _why_ I'm happy tonight, there's more than one reason. I get to marry my best friend tomorrow. _That_ makes me happy. I'm with you right now. _That_ makes me happy. Also, I looked at you earlier tonight and actually _felt_ desire for the first time in weeks. _That_ makes me _extremely_ happy. So you see, I have _a lot_ to be happy about," I say, sorrow making tears swim in my eyes but anger keeps them from flowing freely down my cheeks. "Why would I pretend to be happy the night before the happiest day of my life?" He moves to pull me toward him, and I take a step back. " _Don't_ touch me." I turn and stomp off in the direction of the dilapidated carnival. I hear a door open and close but I don't look to see where it's coming from. When I get to the carousel, I find a dry place and sit down.

"I owe you an apology, don't I?" Tobias asks after a couple minutes, sitting down next to me. "I told everyone we'll be in shortly. I'm sorry I asked if you are putting on a happy face, love. You haven't been genuinely happy since that day. I saw your old spark tonight, and I wanted ... no I _needed_ to know if it was real or if you were putting on a brave front for everyone else's benefit. I should have known better. Can you forgive me?"

"I don't want to fight with you. That's the last thing I want. Just know I'm more than happy right now, Tobias, and I plan on staying this way from now on," I say. "By the way, when I kissed you earlier, I was thinking about the honeymoon."

"Yeah?" he says, a smile lighting his face.

"Oh, yeah!" I say returning his smile. "Can we try this again?" I put both my arms around his neck and gaze into his loving eyes for a while before his mouth lands on mine in a kiss reminiscent of our first. It's tentative, passionate, loving. He tightens his grip on me, and I sigh into his open mouth.

"Maybe you two should get a room," Christina says from about 10 feet away. I jump at the sound of her voice and back away from Tobias. She must have a radar as to when we are enjoying an intimate moment.

"Didn't I tell you we'd be in when we were done?" Tobias scowls sounding more like Four.

"Sorry," she says, putting her hands out in front of her. "People are getting antsy."

"Couldn't you have stalled them, Christina?" I ask. "We were having an important conversation."

"Didn't look like a conversation to me," she says in a singsong voice. "Looked like you were making out. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy for the both of you but we have a lot of important things to go over tonight.

"Were you listening to our conversation?" I ask, appalled.

"No, but I heard a little," she says. "People are waiting, Tris, Four. I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

"You're in trouble, Christina Misner. I may have to find a new best friend," I say. I point toward the well-lit windows and say, "Go! I'll yell at you later. _We_ aren't finished here."

"Fine. I'll stall everyone but hurry up okay," she says as she walks away.

"Where were we?" I ask, pulling his mouth back to mine. I kiss him slowly, thoroughly. His hands roam over me, and I don't flinch or tense. My heart rate increases drastically but it isn't from fear or anxiety, which is a good thing.

"We better get inside before Christina sends out a search party," he breathlessly says, kissing my neck. "We don't want your parent's interrupting us next. I'd never be able to look either one of them in the eyes ever again." Thinking about this possibility makes me giggle. "You find that funny, huh?"

"A little bit," I say with a chuckle, "but you're right. We need to get inside so we can get this night over. I'm sorry I got angry. In my defense, it was partially hormonal."

"I'm sorry I doubted your happiness," he says running the back of his hand down my face. "I'm thrilled that you are as happy as you are right now. You are as happy as I am. I'll never doubt you again." We get up and walk hand-in-hand to the ornate glass door of the Crystal Gardens. "You ready?"

"I am," I say. He leans over and kisses my cheek then opens the door for me, and I walk straight into a fairytale.


	31. Chapter 31

This is the first time in my life I've stepped into this building, and it takes my breath away. I don't know what it looked like in its prime but it's absolutely beautiful now. The six-story tall atrium is the typical glass and metal style of the new buildings in the city but you can tell that it's looked like this for centuries. Approximately 25 years ago or so, the city made the decision to reinforce the falling down building and restore it to its former beauty so it could be used for events like ours but coming from Abnegation, I've never had cause to see it before now. Above us is a giant arched ceiling with what looks like thousands of hanging twinkle lights. In front of us are hundreds of live plants and trees in various-sized concrete planters. Just then a stream of water jumps from one fountain to another, and it startles me.

"What is that?" I ask as the water jumps again but from the new fountain to yet another one.

"You just experienced the leapfrog fountains according to a sign over there," Christina says. "Isn't this place awesome? There's room for up to 1,500 guests. The rotating Amity workers who live in an apartment in the back take care of all the plants. They also set the room up for events. Since we have a small party they set up one large table for us. Everyone is waiting on the dance floor for you two. It's this way." She leads us through a maze of live, lush plants and trees wrapped with even more twinkle lights. This place is magical. When we come into view, everyone gives us their hellos. My parents approach us and hug us both tightly.

"Hi, Mom, Dad," I say to them then I add to everyone else, "I am so sorry we're late."

"You were outside making out or you wouldn't have been late," Christina says.

"Christina!" Tobias and I say at the exact same time. I feel a blush color my entire face. My mom has a sweet look on her face, and my dad shakes his head.

"They are in love and getting married tomorrow. Give them a break," Shauna says. I really love her sometimes.

"I was just giving the reason why they're late," she says with a pout. "Okay, we need to get this walk through going. Mrs. Prior you will be seated in the front row in the left hand aisle by Caleb tomorrow during the ceremony. Tonight you can sit here and watch." My mom goes over to the oblong table and sits down in the white folding chair Christina pulls out and turns around for her. "The officiant will stand right here." She puts her hands on Jonah's shoulders and puts him into position. "Four, Zeke, Will, over here." Tobias kisses my cheek, drops my hand, and walks to her side. She makes him stand on the right side of Jonah. Christina positions him just the way she wants him then has Zeke and Will stand on his right. "Okay, Tris, you, your dad, Shauna, and I will be back in the tent. Shauna will walk first then me then, Mr. Prior, you will lead Tris down the aisle and when you reach the alter, you will hug Tris and then Four. After you have given her away, you will sit next to Mrs. Prior in the front row." She pulls her phone out of her pocket and starts the wedding music we picked out. It's not the traditional wedding march but a sappy, romantic piano tune that we thought would work well for the occasion. She has Shauna walk at a measured pace a certain distance and stand in a prearranged spot. Then Christina walks and stands where she will stand tomorrow. When the music swells Christina yells, "Now," and I put my arm through Dad's and he leads me at a pace I find to be a bit slow down the aisle toward Tobias. When we reach him, Christina reminds Dad to hug me and Four, which he does then he goes and stands behind Mom and puts his hands on her shoulders. Just before I turn my attention back to the rehearsal, I see Mom pat one of his hands lovingly with hers. "Jonah, I'll let you go over the ceremony."

"Thank you, Christina," he says. "Four, Tris. I've been told you want the basic wedding ceremony. Is that correct?"

"Yes," we say at the same time and then we grin at each other.

"Are you preparing wedding vows?" he asks. Tobias and I look at each other, and I motion to him so he can speak for both of us.

"No," he says. Tobias and I talked about this, and it didn't surprise me that he didn't want to get all romantic and mushy in front of our guests but I think he was a bit shocked that I didn't argue with him. I don't need the whole world to hear that I can't live without him, I just want everyone to hear me say I do. "We are both going to use these vows." He pulls a small sheet of paper out of his pocket and hands it to Jonah. He skims over them.

"It's very simple then," Jonah says. "I will have each of you repeat these vows. You can use note card if needed." We both nod. Tobias might need to do that but I've had them memorized for weeks. "I will ask you each if you take the other. You will say your I do's. Four, you will kiss your bride." I beam and blush slightly being called a bride. "Then I will introduce you to your guests as Mr. and Mrs. ... Will I be using your given name, Four?" This is something we haven't talked about. We talked about what my name would be after we get married but this never even came into my mind. I for one would love to marry _Tobias_ instead of Four but I see a bit of panic in his eyes. I doubt he will want to do that.

"Jonah, we'll make sure you have our decision before the ceremony tomorrow," I say.

"Okay, after he introduces you as husband and wife, Four, you will lead Tris back down the aisle and into the wedding preparation tent. Zeke and I will soon follow after you two, then Will and Shauna. Caleb and James will release each of the rows of guests, and they will be moved into the reception tent. Once all your guests are seated, we – the wedding party – will go into the reception tent. Supper will be served. After some mingling, you will cut the cake. After cake's been served, dancing will commence. Then at 2:00 a.m., Four?" He nods at Christina. "Then at 2:00 a.m. you will leave for your honeymoon." At the mention of the honeymoon, Tobias squeezes my hand, and I look up into his dazzling eyes and smile. "Does anyone have any questions?"

"Yeah, when do we eat? I'm starved," says Zeke and everyone laughs at him.

"Well if no one has any _serious_ questions we can start supper. Everyone have a seat," Christina says. Tobias puts his arm around my shoulders and leads me to the table. It's just now that I notice it is decorated in the colors I chose for the wedding: Black, white, and hints of red. The table, chairs, and tablecloth are bright white. There are black taper candles in black holders running down the center of the long rectangular table at about three-foot intervals. There are crystal bowls filled with water that have floating red and white roses in them between the candle holders. The place settings consist of winter white china, polished silver, and crystal stemware on black placemats with black napkins. Everything is absolutely beautiful. It is understated just the way I like it. Christina knows me so well.

Tobias and I sit down with Zeke, Shauna, Will, Christina, Mom, Dad, and Jonah at the table for an intimate supper. Two men and a woman I recognize from the cafeteria in Dauntless come through the maze of plants carrying trays of food. We are served tomato basil soup, Caesar salad with freshly grated parmesan cheese and toasty buttery croutons, prime rib with horseradish sauce, grilled baby red potatoes in garlic and olive oil, baby carrots in a brown sugar glaze, and chocolate and white Dauntless cake for dessert. The meal is delectable, and the easy conversation smoothly flows just like the many bottles of chilled sparkling cider. I see my dad and Jonah's eyes nearly bug out at the perceived indulgence but I tell them to enjoy the festivities, they aren't being selfish, and they seem to calm down some. I notice Mom savoring each and every bite she takes. She even closes her eyes and sighs when she takes a bite of chocolate cake.

"I've missed Dauntless cake," she says. "I might have to abstain tomorrow, or I won't be able to stop. You'll have to sneak me slices of cake to Abnegation, Beatrice."

"I forgot you were Dauntless, Mrs. Prior," Shauna says.

"Oh please call me Natalie, Shauna is it?" Mom says.

"Oh my! I haven't made formal introductions," I say, jumping up from my seat and nearly knocking my chair over. "Where are my manners?" I walk around the table and stand behind my parents. "Everyone, I would like to introduce Andrew and Natalie Prior. Mom, Dad, these are our good friends, Zeke and his girlfriend Shauna. I'm sure you remember Christina and Will. Everyone, this is Jonah Thomson, he's a friend of my parents and a member of the council and obviously will be performing the wedding ceremony tomorrow. I'm sorry I didn't introduce you all earlier. My mind has been on other things but that's no excuse."

"It's alright, Tris," Shauna says. "It's not like you're getting married tomorrow or anything."

"I introduced everyone earlier, by the way," Christina says as she puts a bite of cake in her mouth. Of course she did. She's on top of every last detail.

"Thanks, Christina," I say. "No, _really_. I need to thank you for all you've done for me. Without you, this wedding wouldn't have come together as quickly as it did, and it wouldn't be nearly as glamorous as I know it's going to be." She furrows her eyebrows at me, thinking I somehow know what the spaces look like before time. Tobias gets up from where he's sitting and stands beside me. "I promise I haven't peeked in the tent. I just know what it's going to look like because I know you. This is for my thanks." I slide the small box Tobias just handed me across the table to her. She picks up the black velvet square and flips the lid open. Laying nestled in the black silk lining is a white gold necklace with an angel charm holding a small heart-shaped diamond in its tiny hands. "You are my best friend and an absolute angel. Thank you for all you do." She gets up from where she's sitting, and we meet half way for an embrace.

"Thank you, Tris," she says. "I love it but you didn't have to do this."

"You're right, I didn't have to," I say. "I _wanted_ to." She hugs me again and whispers thank you repeatedly in my ear.

"I have a little something for you guys," Tobias says handing an oblong box to Zeke and Will. They open the boxes to find simple matching watches with black leather bands and white gold watch faces.

"Wow! Thanks, Four!" Will says reaching out and shaking Tobias' hand.

"Come here, brother," Zeke says. He pulls Tobias in for a quick manly hug. "Thank you." I put two more boxes down, one in front of Christina and one in front of Shauna.

"Seriously, Tris?" Christina says. They open their bridesmaids' gifts and gasp. I got them matching 1 carat diamond earring and pendant necklace in a white gold setting.

"They're for tomorrow," I say. "I want to thank you both for standing up with me and for your unconditional friendship. I love you both."

"Thank you, Tris," Shauna says giving me a big hug. "I love you, too." When she releases me, Christina grabs ahold of me again.

"Thanks, Tris," she says. "You are one of a kind. I love you, too."

"Zeke, can I have a word with you in private?" I ask. Tobias furrows his eyebrows at me but doesn't say anything.

"Sure," he says. We walk away from my guest and stand next to one of the leapfrog fountains.

"I never thanked you for helping me that night in the training room," I say. He starts to interrupt me but I stop him by putting my finger over his lips. "You need to let me finish. That day was one of the worst days of my life. If it weren't for you, it would have been even worse. I've wanted to ask you something for a while. Did you _hear_ me? Is that how you found us?"

"I just happened to be coming to the training room for a workout," he softly says. I'm sure this isn't easy to talk about for him either. "When I opened the door I heard you screaming 'NO' at the top of your lungs. When I saw what he was doing I-I _snapped_. I actually thought I had _killed_ him. I was astonished when I sent Will to arrest him and he had already taken off. I'm just thankful I was there and he didn't get any farther. I wish I could have found you both earlier so you didn't have to go through what you did. You seem to be getting better."

"I am," I say with a warm smile. "Not totally healed. I may never be the way I was before that day but I decided not to let him change me any more than he already has."

"Good for you," he says. "You are one of the strongest people I know, and I need to thank _you_."

"For what?" I ask looking at him totally confused. What could he have to thank _me_ for?

"Loving Four," he says. "He's become a totally different person since you came into his life. You make him incredibly happy. There was a time I worried constantly about my friend. I fixed him up with girl after girl trying to get him to come out of his shell. The day you jumped into Dauntless he saw something in you that drew him to you. I have to tell you we teased him mercilessly about you. He didn't want to admit he had feelings for you because you were his initiate but he finally came clean to Shauna. Did you know that they were better friends than he and I are at one time. I was thankful when I heard you talking to her the night Uri brought you ziplining. At first I thought you were with my kid brother because you liked him but then I heard you talk about Four and I knew."

"Was I that obvious?" I ask. "I tried so hard to hide it."

"Not openly, no," he says. "You just ... lit up ... when you spoke about him, exactly the way he did and still does whenever he looks at you or talks about you. So _thank you_ for loving him and making him a better man." I hug Tobias' best friend ... my friend tightly.

"Thank you for that, Zeke," I whisper, emotion thick in my voice. "You don't know how much that means to me." We walk back to the small crowd of people. I go up to Tobias and take his hand in mine. He leans down and kisses me tenderly.

"Is everything okay?" he asks. I rest my head against his shoulder and look up at him. I notice the twinkling lights dancing in his sparkling blue eyes.

"Everything is absolutely perfect," I say. He smiles as he lowers his mouth back to mine. I cup the side of his face with my free hand and get lost in his soft lips until I hear someone clear their throat. My face immediately floods with blood seeing my parents standing in front of us.

"I believe _you_ , my girl, are going to be the very definition of a blushing bride," my mom says, making me blush even deeper. "Your father and I are going home, and we wanted to say our goodbyes."

"How are you getting home? The buses have stopped running for the night," I say.

"We're going to walk home with Jonah," Dad says. "It's a lovely night."

"No way," I say, shaking my head. "Four and I will drive you home."

"Oh, no you don't!" Christina says. " _You_ are not leaving here with Four tonight. I'll have you locked inside this building if you try to leave." I sigh loudly.

"Fine. Four, would you kindly drive my parents and Jonah home?" I ask

"Of course, love," he says, kissing my cheek.

"Thank you so much," I say, pulling him down for a hug. I get my mouth right up against his ear and say, "Meet me in the chasm at midnight." When he pulls away he has a slight smile and nods his head once at me.

"Mom, Dad, thank you for being here tonight," I say. "It means the world to me ... to us that you are able to share in our special day. I love you both so much." I hug my parents both in my arms. "Take care of them for me, Four. I'll see you later." I wink conspiratorially at him. "I love you. Be careful." I watch Tobias, Mom, Dad, and Jonah walk out the door and a pout crosses my lips.

"Oh, cheer up, Tris," Christina says. "This time tomorrow you two will be married. We'll have fun tonight, I promise. We've never had a sleepover before."

"Christina, I've never had a sleepover in my life," I say with an exaggerated sigh. "Abnegation, remember." I point at myself, and she shakes her head.

"So tonight will be your first," she says. "Will, Zeke, and Shauna are catching a train back to Dauntless. Can you drive us home?"

"Sure," I say. I hug Will, Zeke, and Shauna then Christina and I walk to the car. We keep the conversation light. She tells me about new clothing styles she brought into the boutique. She tells me that she's already planning the early stages of the Dauntless Welcome Party that won't happen for months. We also talk about how excited we are for our babies to be born. She's seven months along and already counting down the weeks until her son is here. I tell her how nervous I am about the adoption. I tell her all my fears and reservations. She comforts me and tells me I'm going to be a good mother. I assure her that she is also. I pull into the underground garage and park. We walk to her apartment, and I'm surprised to see an overnight bag on her couch.

"Four brought it over earlier," she says.

"That was nice of him," I say, picking up the bag. "I'm going to get ready for bed. I need to get a good night's sleep. I can't be sleeping through the wedding tomorrow." I go into her bathroom and change out of my dress and into the long sleep pants and t-shirt Tobias packed for me. I glance at the clock and see I need to leave here in about an hour to meet him in the chasm. I come out of the bathroom ready for bed and it surprises Christina.

"You really do want to go to bed, don't you?" she asks. "This isn't my idea of a great sleepover, Tris."

"What did you want to do?" I ask afraid I might have to cancel my midnight meeting with Tobias.

"I don't know," she says plopping down on the sofa next to me. "I've never had a sleepover before either." Now I feel guilty for wanting to ditch her and spend more time with Tobias but not bad enough to cancel on him.

"I tell you what, we will have an all-night sleepover after my honeymoon and before the baby is born. We'll have a great time but tonight we need some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day for both of us."

"You're right," she says giving me a hug. "Tomorrow's going to be huge. Have a good night."

"Thanks, Christina," I say. I get up and go into her small guest bedroom and lie down on the twin bed and stare at the clock counting down the minutes until I'm in Tobias' arms. At 11:30 p.m., I peek my head into the living room and find it dark. I sneak over to my apartment, drop off my dress, and then practically run all the way to the chasm. Tobias isn't there yet so I sit on the rocks waiting for him, reminiscing about every minute I've known him.

"Do you remember the first time you brought me here?" I ask.

"How did you know I was here?" he asks, sitting down beside me on the rocks.

"I could feel you," I say, leaning into him and placing my lips on his. I kiss him passionately until I can no longer breathe. "It's going to be a long night."

"I told you that I liked you," he says and I look at him totally confused. "Our first time ... here." There's seduction, love, friendship, and lust mingling in his sparkling blue eyes. "I kissed you for the first time and second and third." I smile brightly and move to straddle his lap. I melt into him as his mouth meets mine. He kisses me fiercely as he knots both of his hands in my hair. I cling to him wanting to be closer still. I move my hands down his back and lift his shirt slowly up his back. "Tris, love. We aren't making love tonight." I groan then frown at him. He pulls his mouth from mine, puts his forehead on mine, and stares into my eyes. "I am _so_ in love with you, Beatrice Grace Prior. You know I want you, I can't hide it." I believe him. I can feel the hard bulge in his jeans beneath me. "But I want to make love to my _wife_. I want us to have a fresh start. Are you okay with that?" It isn't very often he denies me what I'm wanting. Actually, this is the _first_ time.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton. Of course I'm okay with waiting. More than okay actually. It's only one more day," I say. "You know this time tomorrow you'll be my husband. I can't wait. That's why I wanted to come down here tonight. A lot of our special moments happened here."

"Can I ask you to do something for me?" he asks with a pained expression.

"Anything," I say.

"Can you get off my lap?" he says.

"Oh, God!" I say, moving off his lap. Embarrassment moves through me, and I blush crimson. I can't quite bring myself to meet his eyes. Instead I sit next to him and lean my head against his shoulder. He puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses the top of my head.

"Don't be embarrassed, love," he says.

"I'm not," I say even though it's not entirely true. "Let's watch the water for a while then we'll have to go our separate ways. I don't want to. I want to go home with you but Christina's head would explode if she woke up and found me gone." We laugh together. "Just hold me for a little while longer." We sit on the cold, damp rocks watching the water rush by. He has his arms wrapped around me pulling me so close to him.

"We better go," he whispers in my ear after about an hour of sitting here. "We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow." I shift myself so I'm looking into his eyes. We stare at each other. "I love you. I can't wait to marry you tomorrow, make you mine. You are making me the happiest man in the world. I hope you know that. I can't wait to call you my wife." He runs his fingertips lightly down my cheek. "And I think we should use my full name tomorrow. Is that okay with you?"

"Are you sure, Tobias?" I ask. "That's an awfully big step."

"So is pledging my love and my life to another person," he says. "I want to do that as _Tobias_ , not Four." I lunge at him, knocking him off balance, and lie on top of him. I kiss him hard, and he kisses me with the same vigor.

"Thank you," I whisper with tears in my eyes. "I think that is the best wedding present you could have given me. I wanted to marry you, _Tobias_ , not Four but I didn't know how to ask. I didn't know if it was _right_ to ask." He kisses me again then groans. If we don't stop now, we won't be able to. I manage to get myself to my feet and help him up. We slowly walk hand-in-hand back to the hallway between our apartment and Will and Christina's. He puts both hands on my face and lowers his mouth to mine. Just as his lips gently touch mine, the door next to us opens.

"I should have known better than to try to keep you two apart," Christina says with a sour look on her face and her arms crossed over her chest. I can tell she's pissed.

"Sorry," we say at the same time.

"Leave them alone, Christina," Will says very sternly. "It's _their_ wedding. They should get to do what _they_ want to do."

"I _want_ to stay here tonight," I say surprising both Will and Christina. "Four and I had some important things to discuss. I'm sorry I snuck away and didn't just tell you the truth but you seemed dead set against me seeing him."

"My fault," she says. "I'll see you in the morning." It's going to take a lot of apologizing to get her to forgive me. I look at Tobias and kiss him again.

"I love you, Tobias," I say.

"I love you, Tris," he says. "I can't wait to see my blushing bride tomorrow. Sweet dreams." He kisses my forehead and turns and goes into our apartment. I return to my single bed and toss and turn until I finally fall asleep thinking about all my dreams coming true tomorrow.


	32. Chapter 32

The full body massage I'm getting is relaxing me just the way it is intended to. I woke early this morning after tossing and turning most of the night in Will and Christina's comfortable but small twin-sized guest bed. Luckily, the night wasn't plagued with bad dreams but I found it so hard to sleep without Tobias' comforting embrace surrounding me. Every time I woke up I reminded myself that it was just for one night and that from now on I would fall asleep in the strong, loving arms of my _husband_.

Christina is still mad at me for sneaking out of her apartment last night to go see Tobias. I've tried apologizing many times but she keeps rebuffing me. Even though we are lying on side-by-side massage tables, we might as well be hundreds of miles apart. When the spa employee finishes our massages, she moves us to the nail area of the salon and sits us down. Christina picks out a red shade for both of us, and the woman preps our feet for a pedicure. I decide to try to apologize again.

"I'm sorry, Christina," I say, needing her to forgive me. "I shouldn't have lied to you. That was wrong of me. I should have just told you I needed to see him last night. It wasn't fair of me."

"Were you lying when you said we could have a sleepover after your honeymoon, too?" she asks, looking at me out of the corner of her eyes.

"No, I wasn't," I say being transparently honest. "I meant that wholeheartedly. I'll need a ... night off so to speak before the baby comes along."

"Yeah, you'll need a night off alright," she says with a laugh, her voice full of innuendo.

"Christina!" I say, blushing deep.

"I forgive you," she says. "I just wanted to hear you beg a little." Who is she kidding, she wanted to hear me beg _a lot._

"Sometimes you suck," I say with a frown and she bursts out laughing. I love the sound of her laugh. It means that her good mood has finally returned. This would have been a really long day otherwise.

"I really do love you, Tris," she says. "Alicia, I'm going to have to take this color with me so I can do Shauna's nails before the wedding. I'll bring it back tomorrow."

"That's fine, Christina," she says. "Take whatever you need. Congratulations, Tris. We are all very happy for you and Four."

"Thanks, Alicia," I say. "Four and I appreciate it." She smiles sweetly at me as she very carefully paints my toenails after exfoliating and massaging my feet. Earlier I had a thorough waxing that I really didn't want but it had been a while so I was starting to get some stubble, and I do like the perfectly smooth feeling of the end result. It's just the stinging, ripping pain that I hate in the moment. I also had a coconut oil body wrap before the massage, and Alicia put some hair extensions in making my hair so that my wedding hairstyle can be longer. Now that Christina has forgiven me, I'm feeling the effects of my early morning and the massage, and my bones feel like jelly. I relax back into the mani/pedi chair and let Alicia work on my feet. When she finishes my toes, she moves on to Christina. I doze while she works on her toes and then her fingers.

"Tris, I need you to sit forward with your fingers spread out," Alicia says, waking me from a refreshing 10 minute nap.

"Sure," I say, sitting forward and putting my hands where and how she wants them. She replaces my fake nails that I've had since shortly after my accident. She examines the fingers, cleans the beds, and replaces the missing nails. She then shapes all of them, paints the nails the same red color as my toes, and dries them in the hand dryer. When she's done, I examine her work. "Very nice. Thank you. What's next, Christina?"

"Lunch," she says. I look at the clock and notice it's almost 2:00 in the afternoon. This morning has flown by. "Alicia, will you call the cafeteria and let them know we are ready for their delivery. There's a table set up in the back room. You can send them in when they get here." We walk to the back of the salon and into a dimly lit room that has a small table with a large bouquet of red roses and baby's breath. I see a card with my name on it sticking out of the flowers. I look over my shoulder, and Christina shrugs her shoulders at me. I sit down on one of the small fancy wrought iron chairs at the table, which is set for two and pick up the card.

VI

When I saw these, I thought of you. I can't wait until I can call you my wife. I love you with all my heart and soul. I'll see you soon.

IV

I pull the flowers to me and draw the scent into my lungs and smile at my gift. Christina puts a large black velvet box in front of me, and I frown at her.

"What's this?" I ask.

"It's the gift from Four," she says.

"I thought the flowers were the gift. He's never given me flowers before," I say.

"All I know is he asked me to give this to you after you read the card," she says. I flip the large lid up, and the beauty before me takes my breath away. I hear Christina gasp behind me. It's obvious she didn't peek at my present before giving it to me. Inside the box, laying on the black silk lining is a stunning white gold and black diamond infinity pendant necklace, matching pendant earrings, and infinity band bracelet that are identical to my engagement and wedding rings. Tears come to my eyes. He is too good to me.

"God, I love him," I say. "I wasn't expecting _another_ wedding present."

"He's given you more than one?" she says, jealousy clear in her voice. "Will doesn't give me jewelry. I don't know why. I've hinted."

"I'm sorry," I say. "Jewelry wasn't even the best gift."

"What was?" she says sounding curious. I look around to make sure we are absolutely alone.

"We're using his name at the ceremony," I say. "His _whole_ name. I get to marry Tobias instead of Four. That was his most romantic gesture. Even though I love the jewelry, I love that 100 times more."

"Wow," she says with happiness and slight shock in her voice. "That's huge. He really loves you. You are _very_ lucky."

"You're still worried that Will hasn't asked you to marry him yet, aren't you?" I ask. A sad look comes over her face.

"I don't want to bring you down on your big day," she says with a sigh.

"If you're not happy, _I'm_ not happy," I say. "Talk to me, Christina. You made me talk to you about that day and it helped. Did you even talk to him about what you want?"

"I couldn't bring myself to do it?" she says. A light knock on the door frame interrupts us, and the same woman who helped serve dinner last night enters the room through the curtain and brings in a basket full of food.

"You can put it on the table," Christina instructs. "Thank you." The girl sits the basket down and quietly turns and leaves us alone. She reminds me more of a quiet, reserved Abnegation member instead of a hell raiser Dauntless. I move the flowers to the side while she empties the basket full of goodies.

"Grilled chicken salad with lettuce and tomato on a croissant; baked sweet potato with butter, cinnamon, and brown sugar; grapes, melon, and walnuts with honey and yogurt; and sparkling grape juice," Christina says.

"Wow! Everything looks so good," I say. "Why haven't you talked to Will? What are you scared of?" She stops mid bite and stares at me.

"I'm scared of losing him, Tris," she quietly says after a moment. "I don't want to push him into doing something he's not ready to do. I love him too much to risk him walking away."

"You think he would leave you for bringing up the fact that you want to get married?" I say.

"I don't know but I worry about it," she says.

"You don't think you deserve him," I bluntly say and she blushes. "I know that feeling. I still have problems believing Four _wants_ me, _loves_ me. I know he does. I just find it maddening at times."

"Will isn't as open with me as I would like him to be," she says. "Sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get what he's feeling out of him."

"I know exactly what you're talking about," I say. "It took a while but I finally learned that Four shares _only_ when he's good and ready. It doesn't do me any good to pry."

"Men!" she says, effectively ending our conversation. I can tell she doesn't want to talk about it anymore, and I don't want to upset her further. We finish up the light lunch she ordered, and she takes the basket back to the cafeteria while I change out of the short silky robe and into a pair of yoga pants and a comfy t-shirt. I wish I could just wear this tonight. I patiently wait in the small back room of the salon for Christina to return because I know we have to be leaving soon for the Navy Pier.

"You ready?" she asks when she walks into the room.

"I am," I say.

"What's Four been doing all morning? He doesn't have a lot to do today to get ready," she asks as we walk up the path to the garage. She's holding a couple bags we need for tonight, and I have the garment bag that holds my perfectly tailored wedding dress draped over my arm.

"He spent the morning with Tyler," I say. Several people pass by us and offer me their congratulations. I tell them thanks then turn my attention back to Christina. "I imagine he took him to the park if Tyler had anything to say about it. I swear that child would live there if he could. Then he's taking him to get ready with the guys. Are they getting ready at your place? I forget."

"Yeah. I left the tuxes there. Wait until you see Tyler in his," she says. "He is so stinking cute it isn't even funny."

"Can you keep a secret?" I ask after we put the bags in the trunk of the car and my wedding dress flat in the backseat. "The social worker has been talking to us about adopting Tyler."

"What?" she says full of surprise. "How long has this been going on?"

"She's mentioned it twice but it isn't a done deal," I say. "She's even talked to Evelyn about it. I probably shouldn't have said anything yet."

"How did Evelyn react?" she says.

"Better than I thought to tell you the truth but I wasn't there, only Four, Evelyn, and the social worker," I say. "I had taken Tyler to the car because he was causing a scene. He's having a hard time reconnecting with her. He actually doesn't want anything to do with her. It's confusing to me and Four. We both thought he would be excited to see his mother but he acts like he doesn't know who she is."

"That's strange," she says. "Is adopting him something you would want, especially with two babies already on the way."

"More than anything," I say. "I _want_ to be his mother, and I could be wrong about this, but I think _he_ wants me to be his mother."

"And if it doesn't happen?" she asks. Pain rips through my chest.

"Then I'll grieve," I say looking at her briefly. I turn my full attention to driving. I don't want to have an accident on my wedding day. "Tell me what we have left to do. Distract me please. It's hard thinking about losing Tyler."

"I'll set your hair, and while I'm waiting for it to dry, I'll work on Shauna."

"I didn't ask why she wasn't with us this morning," I say. "You did ask her, right? I guess I never thought about it. The longer I'm away from Abnegation, the more selfish I become."

"Tris, it's your _wedding_ day. This is the _one_ day in your life you are supposed to be selfish. Plus you are Dauntless now, not Abnegation," she says. "And of course I asked her to join us but she had to work this morning. She _wanted_ to come with us but the guards are stretched very thin looking for Peter." At the mention of his name, I visibly tense up. "Sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned him, especially today."

"It's okay," I say, willing my racing heart to calm. "Hopefully, one day the mention of his name won't set off _any_ reaction in me."

"I wish we never would have met him," she says. I nod in agreement.

"So after you work your magic on Shauna, then what?" I ask, returning the subject back to the wedding.

"After I get Shauna ready, I'll get ready. Then, we will get you 100% ready. The wedding will start at 7:00 p.m. Sunset is at approximately 7:21 p.m. Hopefully, if the pace of the ceremony works as I planned, then you and Four should be pronounced husband and wife as the sun is going down."

"You, my friend, are absolutely amazing. I'm so lucky that I met you," I say as we pull into the parking lot across from the Navy Pier. I unbuckle my seatbelt, lean across the seat, and give her a big hug. "Thank you for everything. Thank you for planning my wedding. Not many best friends would do that. I wasn't exaggerating last night when I called you an angel."

"Stop it. You're going to make me cry, and we have too much to do today for that," she says wiping her eyes. We get out of the car and unpack it. "You're going to hate this but I don't want you seeing _anything_ until you walk down the aisle." She takes a black blindfold out of her pocket. I furrow my eyebrows at her.

"Why do you have a blindfold?" I ask. She smiles coyly.

"Are you sure you want to know the answer to that question?" she says.

"Forget I asked," I say, shaking my head. She laughs and puts the blindfold over my eyes making my world go black. She carefully leads me along the pier walkway and after a few minutes we enter a tent. "Can I take this off now?"

"Sure," she says. "But look outside this tent and I'll hurt you, got it? I've got to go get the rest of the items out of the car."

"Promise," I say, crossing my heart as I pull the blindfold off. I gasp. How does she do it? She has this tent set up like a mini salon. There is the largest throw rug I've ever seen on the ground covering the green grass. On one side of the tent is a sink with an attached portable tank of water. There's a very large mirror attached to it and a salon chair in front of it. In one corner is a full length black framed mirror. In the opposite corner is a red and black velvet couch and loveseat. On a low black table in front of the grouping is a tray full of cheese, crackers, and grapes. On a buffet style table next to the couch is a pot of coffee and a couple bottles of chilled sparkling cider. Christina walks into the tent and hangs up my dress in the wardrobe that is standing next to the standup mirror.

"How?" I ask. She looks at me and is suddenly confused. I hold out my hand gesturing to the makeshift room.

"Oh!" she says. "I have connections. It's amazing what Dauntless members will let you borrow when you drop you and your fiancé's name. Will you put this on?" She hands me a black silk salon robe. "You can put those clothes in the wardrobe. I'll make sure they get home. It will be easier to do your hair and get you into your dress if you aren't wearing that t-shirt." I go over to the wardrobe and change out of my comfortable outfit and into the revealing garment. I put my clothes where Christina tells me to then sit in front of the sink, and she washes my hair with my favorite coconut scented shampoo. She then puts a deep conditioner in my hair. While she's waiting for the timer to go off, she starts unpacking the bags into the wardrobe. I see lingerie, shoes, jewelry. When the timer goes off, she thoroughly rinses out the conditioner then she wraps my hair around the curlers and secures them to my head. Just as she finishes, Shauna walks into the tent. She looks around with wide eyes as she takes in every detail.

"When I get married, you are going to be my wedding planner, Christina," she says matter-of-factly. "You probably could make a career out of it if you wanted to. People are going to be talking about this for years. It looks great out there."

"No talking about what you've seen," Christina says. "Tris is not to know _anything_ until it's time, and when you get married, I would love to plan it for you. I'd be honored. Will you change into a robe? I need to make sure everything is coming together smoothly. I'll be right back." She walks out of the tent as I get up from the salon chair. I'm feeling a bit keyed up so I pour myself a cup of coffee in hopes of calming myself down.

"How are you doing, Tris?" she asks. "You are awfully quiet."

"I'm starting to really get nervous, Shauna," I say. "It's hard to think that this time tomorrow all this will be just a sweet memory."

"Four asked me to tell you that he loves you," she says as she slips her robe on. At the mention of Tobias, I beam and she smiles at me.

"Shauna, can I ask you something?" She nods at me. "Do you know Four's real name?" She looks at me oddly.

"As a matter of fact, I do," she says. "I don't know if you know this or not but we were in the same initiation class. I know who he is and where he came from. I've just always respected his privacy and need to separate himself from his former self. Why?"

"We're using his name during the ceremony tonight," I say.

"Wow!" she says. I imagine that's going to be the general consensus when he reveals his true identity. "What made him decide to do that, if you don't mind me asking?"

"He wanted to get married as Tobias, not Four," I say. It's nice saying his real name in front of friends.

"I'm glad he's finally opening up a little," she says. "It's because of you, you know that right?" I blush but nod. I know his friends think I've been good for him. "Knowing you has changed him so much and all for the better."

"Thank you, Shauna," I say. Christina comes back into the tent and has her sit at the sink. We chat about nothing in particular while Christina makes over Shauna not that she needs a makeover, she's quite pretty and put together on a daily basis. I lounge with my feet up on the couch while my hair thoroughly dries waiting for my turn to get dressed. I drink coffee after coffee trying to calm my nerves and find myself squirming around after a while.

"Um, where's the bathroom?" I ask.

"It's outside. Put the blindfold on," Christina says. I sigh but do what she says and once again my world goes black.

"Hi, Tris," two voices say simultaneously. I blush bright red being caught walking around in a short salon robe with a blindfold on and curlers in my hair. I recognize the voices but can't quite place them.

"Hello," I say.

"Congratulations," they say.

"Thanks," I mutter. Christina leads me into a building and lets me take the blindfold off. "Who was that out there?"

"I don't know their names," she says. "You call them Purple Hair and Snake Tattoo." She giggles at my nicknames for them. I knew I knew those voices. "They're helping out today. They volunteered since it was their day off."

"Where are we at?" I ask after I'm finished. "I don't remember there being a bathroom here." It's a nice public restroom with a bright white tiled floor, soft white painted walls, black stall dividers, and a dark gray concrete vanity top with dual sinks.

"It's new," she says. I furrow my eyebrows at her.

"It's new?" I ask skeptically. Why would there be a new bathroom here? "What. Did. You. Do. Christina?"

"Put your blindfold back on, Tris," she says with a sigh. "I'll tell you all about it back in the tent." I do as she says, and she leads me back to the makeshift salon. "When you chose this area for your wedding, I contacted your dad with a plan for a permanent outdoor wedding venue to go hand-in-hand with the refurbished Crystal Gardens. He thought it was a great idea, and the bathroom and the area where you are getting married was built. A foundation was also poured where the reception tent is setup for future outdoor events. I talked to one of the Amity workers who is in charge of the Crystal Gardens, and there have been over 50 weddings booked already. Your dad made the right decision okaying this project. You get a wonderful place for your wedding, and the city picked up the tab." I stare at her open-mouthed feeling a bit guilty that all of this was done because of _my_ wedding yet completely in awe of my best friend for think of it. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You're a genius," I say. "What made you think to go to my dad?"

"What I wanted to do for you was expensive so I thought if I could get some help with the cost, it would make your budget go father," she says. "Your dad seemed like the logical person to ask for help."

"Like I said, _genius_ ," I say. She takes the final roller out of Shauna's hair and combs through her hair with her fingers loosening the curls. She stands back and looks at her for a moment then proceeds to style her hair into an elegant updo. She leaves several tendrils hanging down to frame her face. She then applies makeup that enhances Shauna's natural beauty. Next Christina does her own makeup in the same style as Shauna's. She styles her short curly hair by pulling it straight back and securing it with invisible pins topped with little red flowers until it looks similar to Shauna's. She even leaves a few loose curls. I watch as they put on their matching bridesmaids dresses and 3 inch black strappy sandals adorned with diamond-like crystals, which are identical to my shoes. It looks great on both Shauna and Christina even though they have different body types. The knee length dress is black, of course, and sleeveless. It has a gathered bodice that crisscrosses over their chest and enhances their cleavage. It gently glides down the body and flares out at the hips creating a sexy swing at the bottom. When they put on their matching jewelry I got them for today, it's like adding icing to a deliciously rich cake.

"Okay, Tris," Christina says, turning to look at me. "It's your turn."


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: In bold, The Hands Ceremony by Anonymous.**

* * *

I take a deep, cleansing breath trying to calm my runaway nerves. In about an hour-and-a-half I'll be walking down the aisle on the arm of my father toward my future, toward Tobias. I get off the couch and sit in the chair just vacated by Shauna in front of the shiny sink. Christina skillfully unrolls each large roller then runs her fingers through my hair to loosen up the curls. As she is combing my hair back and securing it in place with pins designed to be invisible in my hair, my parents come into the tent, and I can't believe my eyes. My father is standing before me in a perfectly tailored black tuxedo with a crisp white shirt, black bowtie and cummerbund, and shiny black shoes. My mother is wearing a conservative yet elegant V-neck long-sleeved shin length gray wrap dress and gray 1-inch pumps. I've never seen my parents in anything other than the usual Abnegation frocks worn for every occasion, and they look fantastic ... more than fantastic actually. There are no words for how good they look right now.

"Beatrice, honey, breathe," my mom says. My mouth is still hanging wide open as I look them up and down. "You're making me uncomfortable." This finally makes me come to my senses.

"You two look amazing," I say with tears shimmering in my eyes. I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones or seeing them in their unexpected attire that is causing the runaway emotions. "I've never seen you in anything other than Abnegation clothes. It's quite shocking. I wasn't expecting this."

"Christina here forced me into this," my dad says stiffly. "She wanted all the men to match exactly." This gives me an idea of what Tobias will look like. I smile warmly at my father, and he relaxes some. "We have a wedding gift for you." My mom hands me a rather large yet thin square plain white box. I can't help but sigh. My parents don't give gifts. They don't believe in them.

"You didn't have to do this," I say. "As a matter of fact, I'm not sure I can accept a gift from you." I start to hand the box back to my mom but she puts her hand up to stop me and steps toward me.

"This isn't just an ordinary wedding present, Beatrice," she says affectionately, her eyes full of love. "My mother sent this to me on my wedding day." This surprises me. "I unfortunately couldn't wear it because of the Abnegation rules but the moment I saw it, I wished for a daughter to give it to on _her_ wedding day. One day, I would like you to give it to _your_ daughter." My trembling fingers lifts the lid off the simple box, and my eyes widen when I see the stunning diamond, ruby, and sterling silver hair pin in a delicate floral pattern. The rubies are grouped together resembling red roses surrounded by white diamond leaves. "In the note that accompanied the pin, my mom said it was a present from her mother on her wedding day. I've always wondered how she knew I was getting married. Thank you so much for letting me be a part of your special day. You don't have to wear it but I wanted to make sure you got it." I look over my shoulder at Christina.

"Of course, Tris. I actually think this will be a great addition. Let me have it," she says. I hand her the box holding the delicate hair jewelry. She sets it on the side of the sink and starts taking the pins out of my hair. "We can do a similar style and use the hair pin to hold it in place."

"I would appreciate it," I say to Christina then I look at my mom. "It's beautiful, Mom. Thank you for thinking of me. I love you so much. Why don't you and Dad sit down while Christina does my hair?" They agree and sit on the love seat opposite Shauna. Christina chews on her bottom lip as she combs through my hair.

"Instead of your hair going over one shoulder, how about it hangs straight down your back. I'll pull your bangs and the top of your hair back and secure it with the pin," she says.

"Sounds good to me," I say. "I'm sure whatever you do will be great." She teases all the hair on my head making me look a little bit like a poodle but I don't get anxious. I know I am in good hands with Christina. She pulls all my front hair back in loose twists and secures it with several invisible pins then fixes the elegant hairpin that hugs my head perfectly in place. She then lightly mists the back of my hair and forms each and every curl over a curling iron until they are perfect. Then she sprays a touchable hold hairspray all over my head until I'm sitting in a fog.

"That has to be enough, Christina," I say, holding my hand over my mouth, coughing. "You're choking me to death over here." She sprays a little longer any way.

"Okay, makeup next," she says. She does my makeup exactly the way I like it ... a light mineral foundation and powder that matches my skin tone perfectly, charcoal gray liner on my eyes enhancing their light bluish gray color, black mascara on my lashes making them look longer and fuller than they really are, and a very light natural-looking soft pink blush on the apple of my cheeks but instead of regular lipstick, she paints my lips with a long lasting matte lip stain in the same red shade as my nails and puts a satin gloss over it. I admire her work, and I believe I would actually accept if someone called me beautiful because _right now_ , I am. "Mr. Prior, we need to get Tris into her dress. Do you mind waiting outside?"

"Not at all," he says getting up off the couch. He heads out of the tent but promises to not go far. My mom smiles at me then joins Dad outside. Christina and Shauna get my wedding dress out of its garment bag as I slip out of my robe. I quickly change into my wedding lingerie, sheer lacy white boy shorts and a matching strapless bra. My friends help me into the dress and button me into it. I carefully sit back down in the chair by the sink, and Christina slips my shoes on me. I get up and walk over to the full length mirror and stare at myself. I love my wedding dress. It is unlike anything I've ever worn before or will ever again. The soft white, floor length gown has a fitted, strapless draped bodice with a sweetheart neckline and buttons and loops on the center back down to my hips that lead to a full petaled skirt of organza and tulle that reminds me of feathers. There is a dramatic slit up the front that allows for easy walking. My shoes, which are easily seen through the slit look exactly like Christina and Shauna's, except they are in the same soft white as my dress. I turn sideways and see that my curls are hanging just past my shoulders and the hairpin my mother gave me is perfect for today. We couldn't have planned it any better. My father walks up behind me and fastens the infinity necklace Tobias gave me as a wedding gift around my neck. It is the perfect length and sits just above my cleavage.

"You are the most beautiful bride I've ever seen," Dad says with tears in his eyes as I put on the matching earrings and bracelet and my favorite piece of jewelry, my charm bracelet.

"I have to agree," Mom says from his side, emotion thick in her voice. I turn and look at both of my parents. I honestly thought that when I left Abnegation that I would lose them forever but here they are standing in front of me on one of the most important days of my life ... my wedding day.

"Thank you," I say. "I am so glad that you two were able to see that I needed to go my own way in life and forgave me for leaving Abnegation. I worried when I made that decision that I would lose my family forever but I think we're closer now than we were then. I love you two more than you will ever know." I hug my father tightly for a time fighting back tears then take my mom in my arms and cling to her.

"It's almost time, Tris," Christina says. "Can I do anything for you or get you anything?"

"No," I say with a sigh. Christina narrows her eyes then shakes her head at me.

"If you really want to see him, I won't stop you. I'll go get him but it's bad luck for the bride to see the groom before the ceremony." Christina says with a sigh of her own. "Just remember, _you_ are the one who wanted to go the traditional route. You're even wearing _white_ instead of Dauntless black. Do you want to throw that all away when in about 10 minutes you'll walk down the aisle?"

"Of course, I want to see him, Christina. I _always_ want to see him but I'll wait," I say. "You don't have to get _irate_ with me."

"Sorry! Sorry," she says, realizing she overreacted to my sigh. "I'm going to make sure everything is running smoothly. I'll be right back."

"Why don't you sit down and try to relax," Shauna says as Christina heads out of the tent. I sit down on the couch next to her, and my parents sit down on the love seat. I try some deep breathing exercises to calm me but they really aren't working.

"Twis!" I hear Tyler say. The tent opens and a black blur runs straight to me. "Twis, Twis!"

"Hey, buddy," I say, picking him up and giving him a big hug. "I sure have missed you today." I put him on my lap, making sure his shoes aren't touching my dress. "You look so handsome." He has a miniature version of my Dad's tux on right down to the shiny black shoes.

"You pwitty, Twis," he says, making me smile brightly. There isn't anything quite like being told you're pretty by a 2 year old.

"Thank you, Tyler," I say, hugging him again. "Did you have fun at Zander and Stella's last night with Zane?" He smiles and nods. "What did you and Four do today?"

"Fo take me pawk," he says with a contagious bright smile. I look at my parents and Shauna, and they are wearing ones that match his. "We slide and swing. Had fun. Wish you wit us, Twis. What you do?" He is getting so much more verbal. I can't believe he's already talking in sentences. I love him so much.

"I spent the morning with Christina at the salon?" I say.

"Chwissy?" he says.

"Yeah, Christy," I say with a chuckle. He is one of two people allowed to call her that. Will, of course, is the other one. "We had massages and our nails painted. See?" I hold my hand out to him, and he looks closely at the red. He giggles and I kiss the top of his head.

"Don't you dare mess up your makeup," Christina says, coming back into the tent. "Did you say hi to Tris, Tyler?" He bobs his head up and down at her. "That's good. He wouldn't sit down until he saw you." I hear music and people talking but I can't hear what they are saying. My anxiety level starts to rise again so I wrap my arms around Tyler, and I realize he has the same calming affect Tobias has on me. Caleb comes into the tent, and our eyes meet. "Everyone take your places. Mrs. Prior, Caleb is going to seat you and Tyler."

"No!" Tyler says, sounding distressed. I turn him so I can look into his face.

"Tyler, honey. Will you please sit with Natalie and Andrew while Four and I get married? The ceremony won't last long, about 15-20 minutes. Can you do that for me, pretty please? You can sit with Four and me at supper. I promise," I say. He sticks his little bottom lip out in a pout. When he does this, I want to give him whatever it is he wants but today, I can't give into him. "Please?"

"Okay, Twis," he says hanging his head.

"Caleb," I say. "Can you come here?" He comes to me and squats down in front of Tyler and me.

"You look beautiful, Sis," he says.

"Thank you, Caleb," I say. "Tyler, I want to introduce you to someone who is very important to me. This is _my_ brother, Caleb ... like Four is your brother." He shyly smiles at Caleb.

"It's nice to meet you, Tyler," Caleb says reaching out to shake Tyler's hand. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Hi," he shyly says, taking his hand.

"You are going to _slowly_ walk with Natalie and Caleb to sit down," I say. "You'll see Four out there but you must not go to him okay? You sit with Natalie. Andrew will bring me down the aisle, and then he will sit with you and Natalie, okay?"

"Okay, Twis," he says then he wraps his arms around my neck and gives me a big hug. If his grip were stronger, I wouldn't be able to breathe comfortably. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I whisper in his ear. I give him another kiss, ignoring Christina's complaints then sit him on his feet. My mom takes Tyler by the hand and is led out of the tent on Caleb's arm to sit down. I smile at them all.

"Come here, let me double check your makeup," Christina says. I do as she says, not wanting to stress her out any more than she already is. Once again you would think she is the bride and not the wedding planner. She touches up my makeup to make sure that it is perfect. She hands Shauna a small bouquet of beautiful white roses and picks one up for herself then hands me a slightly bigger one made up of stunning large red roses. "You do look beautiful. Okay, Shauna that was your cue." I see Shauna take a deep breath then the flaps of the tent move out of her way, and she walks forward. "Remember, when the swell in the music happens, that is your cue. You got that, Tris, Mr. Prior."

"I've got it, Christina," Dad says. "I'll get her there. I promise." I see her visibly relax. What, does she think I'm going to run off as soon as everyone else leaves the tent? Not a chance.

"Thanks again for everything, Christina," I say with a warm smile. "If it weren't for you, none of this would have been possible. I really do love you." She gives me a quick hug then walks to the edge of the makeshift salon. The flaps move, and she exits the tent. Dad holds his arm out to me, and I put my arm through his. He moves me to the spot just vacated by Shauna and Christina. I look up into his eyes. He has a warm smile on his face.

"I love you, Dad," I say. "Thank you again for being here. You don't know how much it means to me."

"Nothing could have kept me away from you today ... nothing at all. I know that it seemed like I wasn't happy for you and Tobias when you first announced your engagement, but that isn't entirely true," he says surprising me. "I was a concerned father wanting to make sure you knew what you were getting yourself into. Marriage is _hard_ , Beatrice. Don't let anyone ever tell you it isn't but I know that you and Tobias will make it work. You two have a special kind of love that I've never witnessed before not even in your mother and myself, and I love her with all my heart. I love you, Beatrice Grace. I always have ... I always will."

He leans down and lightly kisses my cheek just as the swell in the music tells us it is time to go. The flaps of the tent open, and I look out at a simple elegance that nearly brings me to tears. Where once stood a dilapidated carnival swing ride, is an oversized beautiful white wooden trellis covered in vining greenery and red and white roses. Dad slowly leads me up a white fabric-covered aisle scattered with red rose petals through a sea of dozens of smiling faces turned looking my way. I try to meet as many of the smiling faces that I can but when I meet Tobias' eyes the beauty of the day, the make-shift wedding venue, and all of our guests fade away. The only thing left is me and him. He looks exceptionally gorgeous in his black tuxedo. The one noticeable difference between him and the others is his fitted jacket has a single red rose in the lapel, everyone else's has a white rose. His eyes slide over my entire body from head to toe making me blush then they land on my eyes again. The look on his face is so intense. Dad leads me up two steps to stand in front of my soul mate and hugs me tightly whispering that he loves me in my ear as he does. He releases me and gives Tobias a hug, saying something to him also. He then leaves us standing before one another and joins my mom in the front row.

"Welcome family and friends," Jonah says loudly for everyone to hear. I stare into Tobias penetrating gaze and give him a tentative little smile. He beams when he smiles back at me, and I immediately relax. "We have been invited here today to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, the joining of two hearts as one. In the time that Tobias and Beatrice have known each other, their love and understanding of one another has grown, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife." When Jonah says Tobias, I hear a startled audible gasp travel through our guests. I tear my eyes away from Tobias' for a second and look out at dozens of astonished and slightly confused faces.

"Today we have come together to witness the joining of these two lives. For them, out of the routine of ordinary life, the extraordinary happened. They met, fell in love, and are committing their lives to one another today with this ceremony," Jonah says. I mouth I love you to Tobias, and he mouths it back. "Romance is fun, but true love is something far superior, and it is Tobias and Beatrice's desire to love each other for life. _That_ is what we are celebrating here today.

"Marriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of all human relationships. No ceremony can create your marriage, only _you_ can do that – through love and patience; through commitment and perseverance; through talking and listening; through helping and supporting; through believing in each other wholeheartedly; through tenderness and laughter; through learning to forgive, learning to appreciate your differences, and by learning to make the important things matter and to let go of all the rest.

"A good marriage must be created. In marriage the _little_ things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say, 'I love you' _at least_ once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is standing and facing the hardships of the cruel world together. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is having the capacity to forgive and most importantly forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which the other can grow. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is not only _marrying_ the right person ... it is _being_ the right partner.

"Tobias and Beatrice, **_please take each other's hands_** ," Jonah says. We reach out and grip each other's hands tightly and gaze lovingly into one another's eyes, " ** _so that you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend – young and strong and full of love for you – that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future._**

 ** _"_** ** _These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief temporarily comes to you. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes – tears of sorrow and tears of joy._**

 ** _"_** ** _These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will join your family as one. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it, support and encouragement to pursue your dreams, and comfort through difficult times._**

 ** _"_** ** _And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch._** You may now recite your vows." Tobias grips my hands even tighter as he gazes intensely into my eyes.

"I, Tobias Marcus Eaton, take you, Beatrice Grace Prior, to be my friend, my lover, the mother of my children, and my wife," Tobias says with emotion thick in his voice. "I will be faithfully yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I will trust you and honor you. I will laugh with you and cry with you through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. Whatever may come from this unpredictable life, I will always be there for you. As I have given my hand for you to hold, so I give you my life to keep. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for the rest of my life. I love you with all my heart, my Beatrice Grace."

"I, Beatrice Grace Prior, take you, Tobias Marcus Eaton, to be my friend, my lover, the father of my children, and my husband," I say, repeating his words back to him as tears sparkle in my eyes. "I will be faithfully yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I will trust you and honor you. I will laugh with you and cry with you through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. Whatever may come from this unpredictable life, I will always be there for you. As I have given my hand for you to hold, so I give you my life to keep. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for the rest of my life. I love you, Tobias ... always." A single tear escapes down my cheek, and Tobias reaches to wipe it away. I hear a funny clicking noise and give a sideways glance toward it. Huh, someone is taking pictures.

"Tobias and Beatrice, I would ask that you always treat yourself and each other with the respect you deserve, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together today. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, and kindness that your marriage deserves. When frustration and difficulty assault your marriage – as they do to every relationship at one time or another – focus on what still seems right between you, not the part that seems wrong. This way, when clouds of trouble hide the bright sun and you lose sight of it for a moment, you can remember that its brilliance is still there. And if each of you will take responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by happiness, wealth, joy, and many, many years of love.

"Tobias, do you take Beatrice to be your loving and faithful partner? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect her, forsaking all others until death do you part?" Jonah asks.

"I do," he says loudly for all our guests to hear.

"Beatrice, do you take Tobias to be your loving and faithful partner? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others until death do you part?" Jonah asks.

"I do," I say, my voice shaky but strong.

"May I have the rings please?" Jonah asks. Zeke reaches into his pants pocket and takes out my ring and hands it to Jonah. Christina unties a little ribbon on her bouquet that has Tobias' ring attached and gives it to him. He holds each ring up, my ring in his left hand and Tobias' in his right. "The ring is a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. Love freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver for each is the giver and each is the receiver. May these rings always remind you of the vows you take here today." He hands my ring to Tobias.

"I, Tobias, give this ring to you as my gift," he says as he slips my wedding ring on my left hand and nestles it right up to my engagement ring. It's a perfect fit, just like we are. "Wear it and think of me and know that I love you more today than yesterday but not half as much as I will love you tomorrow." Jonah hands Tobias' ring to me.

"I, Beatrice, give this ring to you as my gift," I say as I slip his wedding ring on the ring finger of his left hand as a symbol of our love and commitment. "Wear it and think of me and know that I love you more today than yesterday but not half as much as I will love you tomorrow."

"To make your relationship work will take love. This is the core of your marriage and why you are here today. It will take trust to know that in your hearts you truly want what is best for the other. It will take dedication to stay open to one another and to learn and grow _together_. It will take faith to go forward together without knowing exactly what the future brings. And it will take hard work to hold true to the journey you both have pledged to today.

"By the power of the city, I now pronounce you husband and wife!" Jonah says. Christina was right. It's just before sunset, and the sky is a gorgeous gray, pink, purple, and orange hue adding to the radiance of the moment. "Tobias, you may kiss your bride!"

"I love you, Mrs. Eaton," Tobias says as he takes me in his arms and slowly lowers his mouth to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him tightly when his lips meet mine. The love I feel for him multiplies many times over, and I think my heart will swell and burst out of my chest. I didn't know it was possible to love this much. He kisses me sweetly, lovingly for a solid minute before he breaks away from me. He then kisses me again quickly before he straightens up and puts his arms around my shoulder and turns me toward our guests but I'm still looking at him. He must sense my eyes on him because he looks down at me and smiles.

"I love you, Mr. Eaton," I whisper and he places his lips on mine again for another hurried kiss.

"It is my pleasure to introduce the happy couple, Mr. and Mrs. Tobias and Beatrice Prior-Eaton," Jonah says and our guests stand and start clapping, hollering, and stomping their feet. My non-Dauntless guests look startled but Tobias and I are used to it, and we both smile radiantly.


	34. Chapter 34

Tobias firmly grips my hand in his and leads me up the rose-petal-covered aisle past all our still smiling and cheering guests and into the tent I got ready in. Soon we are joined by Zeke, Christina, Will, and Shauna. They each hug us tightly and tell us what a wonderful ceremony it was. I still can't believe for all the worrying I've done these past few days that it's over already. Or maybe I should say this is just the _beginning_.

"All the guests are in the reception tent," Christina says peeking outside then she turns back to address us. "The wedding photographer wants to take a few pictures before the sun goes down completely. Come on." We all follow her outside and a familiar-looking young man with windblown blonde hair wearing a black suit with a camera around his neck approaches us.

"Tris," he says. "It's nice to see you again. You look absolutely radiant. Can I get you to stand under the arbor with Four?"

"Gunner! It's been ages," I say following him down the aisle. I see Tobias eyeing him suspiciously. I pull him close and whisper, "He's the artist who drew the chasm picture."

"Oh!" Tobias says. He reaches out and shakes Gunner's hand after he places us exactly where he wants us. "You are very talented."

"Thank you," he says confidently. He has Tobias, Zeke, Christina, Will, Shauna, and me stand for several different quick photos taking advantage of the still setting sun. I look out in between poses and see several things I missed during the ceremony. There are white folding chairs set up on a lush green lawn, which is new. There used to be a rundown carnival ride and cracked and loose concrete everywhere you looked. There are red and white roses intertwined with green garland draped from chair to chair on the outside aisles. The white fabric red-rose-petal-covered aisle starts just outside the tent and ends where Tobias and I are standing under a huge white-painted wooden trellis with vining greenery and hundreds of red and white roses trailing up and over it. I see the new small glass, metal, and brick building that must house the bathroom on the left hand side of a massive sheer white tent that is fixed to a thick foundation of concrete.

"It's beautiful," I say under my breath.

"Did you say something, love?" Tobias asks making me realize I spoke out loud.

"It's so beautiful," I say. "I didn't notice much of our surroundings during the ceremony. I was too focused on you." I lean into him, he wraps his arm around my waist pulling me close, and presses his lips to the top of my head. A flash goes off startling us both.

"That should do it," Gunner says with a smile on his face. I can tell he's extremely satisfied with photographing an unplanned intimate moment between the bride and groom. "I'll take more candid shots inside. Congratulations, you two." He turns and walks into the reception.

"Can you all give us a couple minutes?" Tobias asks our friends.

"Of course," Zeke says. "Come on, guys." They turn and walk over to the tent. When they enter, cheering starts but dies off quickly when our guests realize we didn't come in too. When we are alone Tobias takes me into his arms and gently places his lips on mine. I melt into him, kissing him passionately.

"You are absolutely the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my entire life," he says, his eyes sparkling. "You took my breath away when you stepped out of the tent." I can't help myself, I blush from head to toe. "Awe, there's my blushing bride." I draw his mouth to mine again and kiss him tenderly. He pulls away too soon, always too soon, and glides his hand down my cheek. "Shall we go, Mrs. Eaton? Our guests are waiting for us."

"I love you so much, Tobias," I say, happy tears glistening in my eyes. "And I really love hearing you call me Mrs. Eaton."

"Well, you get to hear it for the rest of your life," he says. "I love you, too, Beatrice Grace." He takes my hand and leads me to the edge of the reception tent and leans over and puts his lips up against my ear sending a shiver of pleasure down my spine. "Take it all in. Christina outdid herself." He kisses me quickly then moves the sheer white tent flap aside and lets me go inside. All our guests start clapping and cheering, and I blush again.

I take Tobias' advice and immediately take in my surroundings. It's absolutely beautiful and understated just the way I wanted it. There is a large rectangular table setup against the far wall where the wedding party is sitting waiting for us. In front of it are three huge round tables and three shorter oblong ones. All the tables are draped with sheer bright white linen tablecloths and the chairs have matching covers over them. There are black lace runner's sprinkled with red rose petals down the center of each rectangular-shaped table. Each winter white china place setting surrounded by silver so shiny I'm sure you can see yourself in it is sitting on black linen placemats. The crystal goblets are already filled with ice water, and the champagne flutes are filled with sparkling white grape cider. On the center of each round table is an elaborate centerpiece made of red and white roses and baby's-breath in a shiny black bowl-shaped vase. On the oblong tables are 4-inch red and black lit pillar candles on 2-inch white pedestal holders alternating with white vases full of red roses. The poles holding up the tent are wrapped with steady-burning soft white lights. Right in front of me is a wooden dance floor that looks remarkably similar to the one I saw last night at the Crystal Gardens, and to my left is all of Frankie's DJ equipment. Hanging from the ceiling are various sized round paper lanterns casting a soft glow on the reception area. In the opposite corner near the wedding party is a small table where our cake is. It's a three tier round chocolate and butter cream cake with white fondant icing embellished with realistic-looking black flower embroidery and red roses also made out of frosting. It is absolutely gorgeous. We walk across the dance floor, through our guests bombarding us with congratulations, and sit down at our table. Tyler immediately gets down off my mom's lap and comes running over to me.

"Up," he says, holding his arms out. I pick him up and carefully sit him on my lap and kiss his cheek.

"Did you like the wedding?" I say in his ear.

"Yes, pwitty," he says looking up over his shoulder at me with a smile. "Hungwy, Twis."

"I bet supper is coming any minute," I say.

"It is," Christina says just as several Dauntless members dressed in identical tux's as the rest of the wedding party come into the tent carrying trays of our first course, lobster bisque.

"Hey, guys. Do you think we could make room for a chair for Tyler?" Tobias asks. "There's plenty of room." We adjust the place settings and bring an empty chair over and set it between Tobias and me. I take a couple bites of the soup watching Tyler eat the special meal of chicken fingers, macaroni and cheese, mixed vegetables, and cooked apples that we ordered for him and the other kids who we didn't think would want the extravagant meal but I'm not really hungry. I watch as our guests eat and mingle amongst themselves. They all look like they're having a good time. The same men come in and take away all the empty dishes then bring in the second course, a classic Caesar salad with buttery croutons and shaved parmesan cheese. It goes this way for the rest of the meal until everyone has had their honey baked chicken with herb roasted rosemary red potatoes, grilled mixed vegetables, grilled peaches with mascarpone cheese, and yeast rolls with fresh Amity honey butter. I don't eat much. I'm still much too nervous or maybe it's the subtle morning sickness that's been threatening to ruin my evening since I sat down. Suddenly a strong wave of nausea crashes over me, and knowing that I won't be able to sit here much longer, I get up from the table and go to Christina.

"Can you help me in the bathroom?" I whisper in her ear.

"Of course," she says then adds to Will, "We'll be right back." I kiss Tobias' cheek and tell him I'll be back soon. We end up having to hurry to the new bathroom where Christina holds my hair back while I get sick. Damn morning sickness. I knew it would happen. The past week it's hit this time of night. I'm three months along, shouldn't it be over by now? When I finally start feeling better, she runs to the makeshift salon and gets a toothbrush and some toothpaste.

"How did you know?" I ask as she hands me the much-needed items.

"I'm going by experience," she says with a sympathetic smile. I brush my teeth thoroughly ... twice ... then rinse my mouth out with water.

"Do we have any ginger ale?" I ask as we walk back to the reception. "I'm still feeling a bit queasy."

"Yeah. I made sure to have a couple bottles just in case," she says. She goes to lift the tent flaps to let us enter but I stop her.

"I know I've thanked you several times for planning my wedding, Christina, but I don't think I understood exactly what that meant," I say. "Every detail of today has been ... _beyond_ perfect. The decorations are classy yet simple. The food was absolutely delicious. This venue," I'm shaking my head in complete disbelief, "I have no words. I am so thankful for you. I truly do love you." I hug her fiercely and let a few tears escape down my face. I wipe them away as soon as I let her go. "Damn hormones!"

"You're welcome, Tris," she says with tears sparkling in her eyes. "It's been my pleasure doing all this for you. We better get back in there before they think you ran off. Let me check you out first." She wipes the remnants of my tears away, checks my dress, and makes sure my hair is still perfect. "You truly are a lovely bride. Let's go." She lifts the flap, and we walk back in. "Mingling time. I'll let you know when you'll cut the cake."

"Thanks again," I say. I come up behind Tobias and put my hands on his shoulders. He looks up at me and concern immediately crosses his face.

"What's wrong?" he asks. Of course he would notice. I hope no one else can see that I'm not as put together as I was before exiting.

"Morning sickness," I say after I bend over and place my lips to his ear. He gets up and wraps me in his arms. I love wearing heels, it bridges the gap between our heights.

"I'm so sorry," he says. "Can I get you anything?"

"Ginger ale as you requested," Christina says, interrupting his question. I take the glass from her.

"Thank you, Christina," I say and she leaves us alone. "And thank you for your offer." I sip the liquid and wrinkle my nose. I wonder if I'll ever get used to the taste. "I love you. Have I told you that today? I missed you by the way, and I didn't sleep very well last night. I tossed and turned wishing your arms were wrapped around me. I had to keep reminding myself that there would never be another night that we would spend apart." I sigh loudly thinking about last night. "How did you sleep?"

"Just as bad as you," he says. "But I had one comfort, I slept on your pillow. Your scent helped a little."

"I'm glad something helped you," I say kissing the spot beneath his right ear. He growls lowly at me.

"You better not start something we can't finish," he says roughly. I gaze into his eyes, and the intense look is back.

"What are you thinking?" I softly say. "You had that same look on your face when I walked down the aisle."

"I'm thinking that I can't believe you're mine, and I can't wait to get you alone later," he says then he puts his mouth up to my ear. "I want you more than I ever have before." I gasp at his declaration but it isn't because he scares me. It's because I know what he means. The need I'm feeling in this moment has my soul aching for him to fill the void. I put my mouth to his and kiss him deeply. Then I move my mouth to his ear.

"I can't wait until we are alone either," I say. "I want my husband to make love to me." A guttural moan escapes his throat. We stare at each other. I let my imagination run away with me. He is probably doing the same. I hear someone clear their voice, and I finally tear my eyes away from his to find my mom and dad standing in front of us. I smile brightly at them hoping that what's been running through my mind isn't written on my face. That would be very embarrassing. I wouldn't be able to meet my parent's eyes ever again. My mom hugs me as Dad hugs Tobias, which reminds me of something.

"What did you say to Four before the ceremony started?" I ask. I look at Tobias and add, "I meant to ask but my head's kind of spinning."

"Back to Four now?" Dad asks and Tobias bashfully nods.

"I'm not ready to be Tobias all the time yet," he says.

"I understand," Dad says. "Beatrice, I told him to take care of you and tell you that he loves you every day. I also told him that if he ever hurts you, he would have to answer to me."

"Dad!" I complain.

"It's alright, Tris," Tobias says with a smile. "I plan to take his advice and tell you that I am head over heels in love with you every single day. I swear as long as I live that no one will ever hurt you again, and when our daughter or daughters," he puts his hand on my tummy, "get married, I'll say the exact same thing to the men they are pledging their lives to. I appreciate the way you love her, sir. You don't want anything bad to happen to her and neither do I."

"We have another wedding gift for you," Mom says and I frown at her. What's with all the gifts?

" _Another_ gift?" Tobias says not knowing about earlier.

"They gave me this hairpin," I say turning my head away from him. "It was my grandmother's. She gave it to Mom on her wedding day." I turn my head back and look at my mom. "This is more than enough."

"That is just too bad," she says. "We wanted to do something for you, so we talked it over. We paid for your wedding." My eyes widen drastically, and my mouth falls open. I start slowly shaking my head.

"That is entirely too generous," Tobias says, recovering before I do. "We can't accept that."

"It's too late," Dad says. "Christina let us know how much you two spent, and I had her transfer the full amount back into your account. Use the money when our grandchildren are born. Kids can be expensive."

"Mom, Dad," I say starting to argue but they stop me. My mom takes a step toward me, places her hands on my shoulders, and looks me in the eyes.

"Some Abnegation rules are harder to follow than others. Never celebrating your birthday ... never celebrating _anything_. I never got to properly celebrate your _birth_. Do you think I like that? No, I don't," she says. "At the very least, _you_ deserve to be celebrated. So please let us celebrate you and all you've become on this, your wedding day. You are an extraordinary young woman, and we are so proud of you." I look at Tobias through the tears that are gathering in my eyes, and he smiles and nods. I hug my mom tightly.

"I don't know how to thank you," I say.

"You just did," she says when I release her. I wrap my arms around my dad and hug him fiercely.

"Thank you, Dad," I say. "I love you both. _We_ love you both."

"Natalie, Andrew," Tobias says, hugging my mom and giving my dad a hearty handshake. "Thank you for thinking of us. Your gift is very generous. We truly appreciate it."

"We won't monopolize any more of your time," Dad says. "There are others who want to congratulate you. Four, take care of our girl. Beatrice, you make a beautiful bride. Your mother and I wish you two a world of happiness." We hug again then they go sit at their table.

We walk around and talk to all our guests. It seems like I've never hugged so many people in all my life. We are given well wishes and sincere congratulations time and again. I'm told what a lovely blushing bride I make, prompting me to blush all over again. Zeke makes a couple innuendos about our honeymoon eliciting a playful punch in the arm from my husband. Tobias is also thanked over and over by our friends for finally opening up and reveling his name. Everyone knows the story of Tobias Eaton so they all understand his need to recreate himself as Four. I know he was nervous about this big step but not one person looks at him with anything other than love and appreciation in their eyes. Happily, Nathan and Callen made it to share in our day. He sat next to my mom during supper. They've been talking almost nonstop. Avery, who is a social butterfly, introduced herself to Callen, and they seem to be hitting it off. Caleb and Cara sat at the same table with my parents. By their body language, they like each other _a lot_. I'm so glad he has found someone. Will got up almost immediately after supper was finished and went to sit with his sister. They have been talking animatedly now for more than an hour. Someone else I invited that I wasn't sure would make it, came. Isobel is sitting with Zander and Stella and has been all night. She's wearing a beautiful blue dress, and I now realize that she comes from Erudite. The Parrish children take up their own table and besides Tyler are the only kids in attendance. Right now he and Zane are sitting under the table playing with cars they were both allowed to bring. Another table is full of our friends, Hana, Tori, and her boyfriend, Frankie. They have been laughing and carrying on all evening. I'm glad everyone is getting along so well, and I'm especially thankful that our Dauntless family and friends are making our out-of-faction visitors feel welcome. After speaking briefly with everyone, Tobias and I make our way back to our table. He is pouring me another glass of ginger ale when Christina comes up behind me.

"It's time to cut the cake," she says, making me jump. "Sorry. I thought you saw me coming. Gunner will definitely want a picture of that."

"It's alright," I say, my hand over my heart willing it to slow down a little. I take a couple sips of the drink Tobias hands me then set it on the table. We walk over to the small table in the corner holding our beautiful cake. We stand behind it and pose for a couple photos then cut the cake. We each take a small piece and feed the other, and we are bombarded with flashes from the camera again. I warned him beforehand that if he wanted any sex whatsoever on our honeymoon that he better not smash it into my face and he doesn't. After we're done, we serve each of our guests a hearty slice of delicious wedding cake then sit down to enjoy a piece of our own.

"I would like to have everyone's attention please," Zeke says, lightly tapping a knife on his crystal champagne glass when everyone is nearly done with their cake. The chatter dies instantly and everyone looks our way. "Tris and Four told us no speeches so Christina and I would like to propose a toast to our best friends." I blush crimson, and I see added color in Tobias' cheeks, too. We really hate the extra attention. These two are going to pay for this later.

"Tris, I am not only honored to be sharing this special day with you as your maid of honor but I'm especially honored that you call me your best friend every day. We are just as close as sisters. I've laughed with you. I've cried with you. I've raised a little hell with you. I've even fought with you," she says eliciting a chuckle from not only the crowd but from me as well. "Four, I have to be honest with you. I wasn't entirely convinced that you were good enough for Tris when I first found out that you two were dating. I even told her that, which I'm sure doesn't surprise you one bit but I've since changed my view on things ... on you. You have made her happier than I've ever seen her, and I can't wait to witness how your love continues to help her grow. I'm so happy that she has you in her life. I am privileged to be able to raise my glass to my wonderful best friend and her new husband."

"Four, I too am honored to be here tonight for you, my best friend, while you celebrate the beginning of the next chapter of your life. I couldn't have been happier when you started casually talking about a mysterious girl last July. I knew she must have been special because up until that time, and I knew you two full years, I never _once_ heard you speak about any other girl. You tried to act like she didn't mean anything to you, but I knew. You couldn't hide the truth from me. I could _see_ it. You lit up every time you spoke her name kind of like the way you're lighting up looking at her right now," Zeke says. I meet Tobias' eyes and return his warm, loving smile then we both turn our attention back to his best man. "And when I saw her kissing you in the middle of the cafeteria after the rankings were announced, I didn't think I could have been any happier for you. But it turns out I was wrong. I had no idea that one little kiss would lead to all this: Marriage, children, a lifetime full of happiness. Tris, I know I've told you this before but thank you for loving Four the way you do. You make him incredibly happy, and you have made him into a better man. I love you both dearly. May today be the beginning of a wonderful new and long-lasting chapter in your lives, and may you always love, honor, and cherish each other just as you do today."

"Everyone, please join us in raising your glasses and toasting the happy couple," Christina says. "To Tris and Four!"

"We love you guys!" Zeke says.

"Congratulations and cheers!" Zeke and Christina say at the same time.

"Cheers!" says a choir of voices, everyone holding their glasses high then sipping their sparkling cider. Tobias gets up and clears his throat and everyone looks his way. I wasn't expecting him to make a speech.

"I would like to thank all of you for being here tonight, sharing in our special day. Tris and I truly appreciate it," Tobias says. "I would also like to thank our very good friend, Christina, for planning this wedding. It has been perfect. But most of all I would like to thank my beautiful bride for loving me so selflessly." He looks down into my eyes. "You are my everything. The day you said you would be my wife, I thanked God for putting you in my path, and today I thank Him again that I am lucky enough to get to call you my wife from this day forward. I love you with all that I have. You do make me a better man." He mouths the words I love you then looks at our guests again. "Now, I have one final wedding present for Tris. If everyone will please follow us outside."

"Tobias," I whisper, tears stuck in my throat. "I love you, too. What did you do? You've given me too much now as it is."

"You'll see," he says with a big grin. We all walk outside and go to a spot just beyond the arbor. "Many of you won't understand the significant of this gift so I will tell you a little story first. We have a tradition here at Dauntless. As part of initiation, and sometimes just for fun, we play a game called capture the flag. We split off into two teams, each hiding a flag, and then we try to capture the other team's flag first. Anyway, Tris was on my team last year. To get a better vantage point, she decided to climb the Ferris wheel." He points in the direction of the big wheel and it lights up as if on cue. I gasp and put my hands over my mouth. The white lights are so beautiful and shine brightly on us all. "Zeke was right. I was constantly trying to talk myself out of the feelings I had for Tris when I first met her but something happened that night when she started climbing. I followed her. This may not seem significant but ... I don't like heights so in that moment I realized that I must love this tiny girl with a big heart, bigger brain, and the guts to do what no one had done before because I would follow her anywhere." The shock wears off and I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him passionately on the mouth. He moves away from me, and I sigh and our guest chuckle at me. "We climbed nearly to the top that night getting to know a little about each other, and she found our opponent's flag. We won the game. But as we were coming down, a bar broke, and it left her dangling." I hear my mom gasp. "I had to conquer my fear to get her down safely, and she ended up taking a little ride but tonight I would like to ask Tris if she would take a proper ride with me." He holds his hand out, and I can't help but take it.

"Is it safe?" I whisper

"It's been restored," he says. "I would never endanger you or Peanut."

"Okay," I say, excitement visible on my face.

"Anyone who would like to take a ride is more than welcome to join us," he says. We climb into one of the freshly painted bright red cars and sit side-by-side. Someone starts the motor, and we start going around at a measured pace. Apparently, no one took Tobias up on his offer because we don't stop to let anyone else on. The lights of the city are extraordinary from the big wheel, unlike anything I've ever seen before. He wraps me in his strong embrace and draws my lips to his. He thrusts his tongue into my mouth finding mine. We let them dance for a time not worrying about anything. When I feel the passion building to another level, I groan but I don't take my mouth away from his.

"We still have dancing," he says in between kisses on my neck.

"I really don't care," I say. "I would give anything to make love to you right now." This time he groans. "I wonder if all brides and grooms feel this way. Even though I would like nothing better than to have my way with you right here, I'll be good."

"One day when we don't have guests watching our every move, I'll bring you back here and we'll give this thing a good ride," he says wagging his eyebrows at me.

"Tobias!" I say, playfully slapping his chest and blushing deeply. "You sound just like Zeke." We laugh again. For the rest of the ride we cuddle next to each other and watch the lights of the city between tender, loving kisses. He doesn't even look like he's bothered by the height of the Ferris wheel so I don't break the spell by asking. When we finally come to a stop at the bottom, we get out and slowly walk to the dance floor. Frankie is playing a romantic ballad and several couples are already in each other's arms swaying to the music.

"May I have this dance?" he says.

"Four, Tris," Zander says. We turn and look his way. "We really need to get going. I have to work in the morning, and the kids are up past their bedtimes." I know what he means. Tyler is going to be a cranky little bear tomorrow. Poor Stella. "I wanted to give you my congratulations again and let you say goodbye to Tyler." We follow Zander back to his table where everyone looks a little worse for wear.

"Tyler, honey, come here," I say after I sit on one of the chairs. He scrambles up off the cold concrete floor and into my arms. I hug him tightly, not wanting to let him go. "You're going home with Zander and Stella while Four and I go away for a while. You'll have a long sleepover with Zane. Won't that be fun?" He smiles and nods. Good! No tears! "If you get to missing me or Four, just tell Stella, Zander, or Avery, and they can call us. Give me a bug hug and a kiss. I miss you already." He hugs me tightly then kisses me sloppily on the mouth tasting of chocolate cake. I hope he can sleep tonight and doesn't have too much of a sugar high. He then looks at Tobias and says goodbye.

"Love you, Twis," he says with a sleepy little smile. "Love you, Fo."

"We love you, too, buddy. To the moon and back," Tobias says.

"Moon back?" he repeats.

"That's right, to the moon and back," I say, kissing his forehead. "You better be good for Zander and Stella. You be a good boy. I love you." I'm going to miss him terribly the next 10 days. Tobias helps me out of the chair, and we stand hand-in-hand watching as Tyler leaves with the Parrish's.

"Would you like to dance, Mrs. Eaton?" he whispers in my ear.

"I would love to, Mr. Eaton," I say with a bright smile. He leads me back to the dance floor where it's my intention not to let go of him for the rest of the night but I should have known better. After our second dance, Uriah asks if he can cut in. We are polite and say yes, and while I'm dancing with Uri, Tobias dances with Marlene. We actually dance with _everyone_. I have to dance with Zeke a few times and Uriah another time so that all the girls can get a turn with Tobias. I notice that Frankie plays a lot of romantic tunes and then other songs have subtle or not so subtle innuendo. All I can think is, _"Christina!"_ I know she picked out the music. When we finally make it back to each other, I sigh. I lay my head against his shoulder and cling to him. My restless night is catching up with me, and I yawn into his chest.

"It's almost time to go," he says. "But the train won't be here until 2 a.m."

"Train?" I say, panic moving through me.

"Don't worry. It's going to stop for us to get on then off at our destination," he says.

"Which is?" I ask.

"Nope," he says with a huge grin shaking his head. "It's a surprise."

"Don't you think you've done enough?" I ask. "I mean the Ferris wheel, the bell charm, the jewelry, the tattoo, using your name. I haven't given you a fourth that much."

"You gave me _you_ ," he says with a fierce intensity. "That's all I wanted. Do you want to sit down for a little bit and rest?"

"Yeah," I say. We turn to go back to our table and stop in our tracks. Standing just inside the tent entrance is Marcus.


	35. Chapter 35

"What are you doing here?" Tobias asks. I feel him tense up beside me, and his mask turns him from Tobias into Four right before all our eyes.

"Do you think I would miss my son's wedding, Tobias?" he loudly says for all to hear. It's a good thing he already let all our friends know his true identity or his father just would have just outed him. "Of course my invitation got lost in the mail but I decided to come anyway." Tobias marches straight at his father. I practically have to run to keep up with him. He grabs Marcus by the arm, wheels him around, and pushes him out of the tent.

" _You_ are not welcome here," Tobias says after he lets his father go. Marcus stumbles a few steps but then rights himself. "I want you to leave. _NOW!_ "

"What? Are you afraid that all your friends in there will learn who you really are, _Four_?" he says hatefully.

"My friends know who I am," he says ambiguously. "Now leave before I call my men over and have you forcefully removed back to Abnegation."

"I'm disappointed, son," he says with a tsk. "Why is it okay for _her_ parents to be here but not me? She didn't let you invite me, did she? It's just as I always thought, the little slut has you by the _balls_ doesn't she?" Tobias loses it. He lunges at his father, grabbing him by the throat, and knocking him to the ground. He starts throwing punch after punch as he hovers above his father.

"Tobias, _stop it_ ," I yell, trying to yank the arm that's holding his father to the ground but it doesn't move one inch. "Stop it! He's not _worth_ this." Zeke and Uriah push me out of the way and drag Tobias off his father. They hold him back as he struggles in vain to get away from them. My dad kneels down and tends to Marcus who is lying bloody and beaten on the ground, and I step in front of Tobias to try to calm him down.

"Please calm down," I say, my heart hammering in my chest. I take a step closer and put my hands on either side of his face. "Look at me, Tobias." His eyes slide to mine and soften immediately, and he stops struggling.

"I'm okay now," he softly, almost apologetically says, and Zeke and Uriah release their grip on him. "I'm so sorry, Tris. I just ruined everything."

"You didn't ruin a thing," I say, caressing his cheek. "He finally pushed you too far. If it hadn't been you, it would have been me who attacked him. We can only take so much from him, Tobias. Please stay here." I make eye contact with Zeke signaling him to stay close to his friend's side just in case Marcus insults me again. I walk over to my father who just helped his old friend up. "Are you okay?" His steely eyes land on mine, and he nods once. "Please leave, Marcus. Can't you tell you're not wanted here?" I turn and walk back to my new husband.

"I'm sorry, Tris," Tobias says again. I take him by the hand and lead him into the salon tent. He washes the blood off his hands in the small sink and changes out of his now bloody tuxedo shirt into an extra Christina thought to bring just in case, though I imagine this scenario never crossed her mind. When he turns and looks at me, my heart contracts. He looks so sad.

"Come here," I say taking him in my arms. I hold him tight. "Let's just go. It's close enough to 2:00." He clings to me and doesn't move. "Tobias Eaton, look at me." He releases me and looks into my eyes. "This is our day. You didn't do anything your father didn't deserve but if you keep dwelling on it you _are_ going to ruin everything. Do you understand me?" By this time I have my hands on my hips like I'm scolding him, which isn't my intention. "You didn't do _anything_ wrong. Please believe me, I wouldn't lie to you." He sighs.

"I love you," he says placing his lips to mine for a soft, quick kiss. "You're right ... about everything." We walk out of the tent to say goodbye to our friends and are surprised to see Marcus still here sitting on one of the white folding chairs, turning a red rose over and over in his hands.

"Please don't," I say when I see him start to transform again.

"Don't worry, I won't" he says as he kisses my forehead. He walks to his father and stares at him. "Just to set things straight, Tris asked me if I wanted to invite you to the wedding, and I told her I didn't want you here. It was _my_ decision, not hers. You have it in your mind that she drove a wedge between us, and I honestly don't know where that came from. _You_ are the one who broke our relationship by the way you treated me growing up and the way you continue to treat me and especially Tris. Unfortunately, you will never own that so there is absolutely _no_ hope for a relationship between the two of us. I am sorry that I attacked you. That was totally uncalled for. Doing it made me like you, and I strive each and every day to make sure I turn out nothing like you." He takes one step closer to his father and leans into him a little. "And know _this_ , one day you're going to wake up and realize everything that you've put me through and want to make amends and have a relationship with me and your grandchildren but you will _never_ have anything to do with _me_ , my wife, or our children. Do you understand? Please leave. Goodbye, Marcus." He straightens up, comes back to me, takes me by the hand, and practically drags me back into the reception tent.

"He left," Dad says coming back into the tent almost immediately after us.

"Thank you," I say.

"I'm sorry that I made a scene," Tobias says addressing everyone in the room. "In case any of you are wondering, that was my father. I'm embarrassed for my actions but he insulted Tris one to many times, and I lost my temper and patience for a moment. Now you know why I separate myself from that life. I'm glad you all know who I am now but I'm still just Four. I'd appreciate you not calling me Tobias." He turns to me and takes me in his arms. I hug him tightly.

"Four and I are leaving now," I say. "You guys are more than welcome to stay, dance, drink, have fun. Thank you so much for coming. You don't know how much it means to both of us." They all gather around us, and we have to hug each and every one of them before we are allowed to leave. Our friends wave at us until we are out of sight. "Are you okay, Tobias?"

"I've been better," he says. Although he is standing right beside me staring at the train tracks, he might as well be a million miles away. This isn't a good start to our honeymoon.

"I need you to do something for me," I say after we've been quiet for a time. He looks down at me. "I need you to forget that the past half hour ever happened. If you can't, we might as well just call off the honeymoon and go home so you can sulk."

"I'm sorry," he says with a drawn out sigh. "I am moping aren't I? I'll try to let it go."

"Oh, Tobias," I say cupping his face with my hand, caressing his cheek lightly with my thumb. "How can I help take the pain away? We're partners now, tied together for life. I need you to learn to lean on me."

"It won't happen overnight," he says. "But I'm trying and one day it will be second nature to me. I love you so much. Now kiss me, Mrs. Eaton. I want our honeymoon to begin now, love." I narrow my eyes and look at him but it seems like he's done as I asked and forgotten his father's visit. I'm kissing him enthusiastically when the train stops in front of us. He gets on then helps me in. Within two minutes, we are moving again.

"Where are we going?" I ask. "Please tell me."

"We have about an hour train ride," he says. "I'll tell you more at our next stop." I can't stop myself from yawning. It's very late ... or early depending on how you look at things. "Why don't you sit next to me and rest?" I move across the small space and sit down on the bench next to him. I lean up against his side and close my eyes. It seems like a minute later I feel the train slow down, and my eyes flutter open. "Good! You're awake." I smile when he kisses my temple. "I was afraid I was going to have to wake you."

"I'm not awake," I say sleepily. I hear him chuckle. "Where are we?"

"The fence," he says in my ear.

"Are we going to Amity?" I ask. I rack my brain trying to figure out where he's taking me, and I'm still coming up short even though I now know we're headed outside the fence.

"We are," he says. "We have reservations at a bed and breakfast by the fence. A Dauntless guard is going to drive us. I heard about this place from Zander. He and Stella honeymooned here years ago. I hope you like it."

"As long as I'm with you I don't care where we go," I say, my eyes threatening to close again. When the train fully stops, he helps me get out. The gate is open, and we walk through.

"Four, Tris," says a voice from the darkness. I automatically move closer to Tobias, not knowing who's there. A typical-looking Dauntless member with wild rainbow-colored hair and multiple facial piercings steps out of the shadows. "I'm Mel. I'm driving you to your destination this morning. Congratulations on your marriage."

"Thank you, Mel," Tobias says.

"Do you have any luggage?" he asks.

"No, it's been taken ahead," Tobias says. He helps me into the backseat of the car then joins me. I lean into him and close my eyes again. "Sleep, love. We have a little bit of a drive." I turn my head, searching for his lips. He lightly touches his mouth to mine with a tender kiss. I smile and sigh when he releases me then fall immediately into sleep. Soon I feel his lips up against my ear. "Tris, wake up. Tris! Beatrice Grace Eaton, wake up." My eyes finally slide open and see his face mere inches from mine. I reach for him forgetting we have an audience. "Can you hold that thought until we get inside?" I blush. "We're here." It's still dark outside but the structure in front of me is dimly lit, and I can't believe my eyes.

"Four, I thought this was _inside_ the fence," I say. I've heard tales of people walking here. Obviously that's not true.

"It's so close to the fence that most people mistake it for being inside," he says. "Come on." He holds his hand out to me, and I take it. He then helps me out of the car.

"I can't believe you brought me to the lighthouse," I say staring up at the massive structure in front of me.

"Thanks for the ride, Mel," Tobias says.

"You're welcome," he says. "Congratulations again you two!" Mel gets back in the car and drives away. We climb up the stairs to a door. He opens it then sweeps me off my feet, lovingly cradling my legs and back. He walks through the door into a foyer. "The entire place has been gutted then remodeled into a bed and breakfast. It will accommodate more than one guest but we have the place to ourselves for the next 10 days. There's an Amity caretaker who lives on the other side. So this building and the tower is all ours." He sits me on my feet. "I'll give you a tour of the place."

"Tobias, there are only two rooms I care about right now, the bathroom and the bedroom," I say. I see him visibly swallow and a cloud of anxiety descends on me but I push it away.

"Okay," he roughly says, desire suddenly radiating from his eyes. "We have quite a climb. Our suite is clear at the top. Are you ready for this?"

"Yeah," I say, not really knowing if he's meaning the long walk to the top of the tower or our night ... actually _morning_ together. He reaches his hand out to me, and I lace my fingers with his. He leads me past a kitchen and eat-in dining room, which he explains is a common room for all guests and the caretaker. We go to the stairs and climb up six flights of spiral stairs past several closed doors and come into a circular room that has a small kitchenette on one side, a small bathroom tucked near the steps, and a cozy living area with a TV.

"Bathroom," he says pointing at it. "Bedroom is on the next level."

"Thanks," I say. "You can use it first." He takes a deep breath and goes into the small bathroom. I look around the room. It's smaller than home but doesn't feel confining. There are four windows that will allow for nice natural light when the sun comes up. I hear the bathroom door and turn and look at him. He has his tux jacket off and his shirt pulled out of his pants. "I need you to unbutton my dress." I don't know why I'm so nervous. It's not like we've never done this before but in truth, we haven't. We've made love but never as husband and wife, and it's been so long. He comes across the room and stands behind me.

"I love your hair," he say, sweeping it over my shoulder. At the mention of my hair, I remember the delicate pin my mom gave me. I need to remember to take it out. I wouldn't want to break it. I feel his fingers on my back as he unbuttons the 50 or so buttons holding my dress on me, and they leave a trail of heat. When he's done, he lowers the dress nearly to the floor so I can step out of it, leaving me only in my lacy white lingerie and high heel shoes. This must be a dream come true for him. I can't bring myself to meet his eyes. I just go straight into the bathroom. I lean against the door trying to calm my runaway nerves. I close my eyes and take a few deep calming breaths. I reach up with trembling hands to take the ruby and diamond pin out of my hair then take the remaining invisible pins out and let my curls fall, framing my face. I wash up after my extremely long day but I decide against a shower. I see a flash of black out of the corner of my eye and I turn. Hanging behind the door is my silk robe. I strip out of my bra and boy shorts and take my shoes off then slip the robe on. I'm not sure why, but I feel more at ease now that more of me is covered. I take another deep breath and open the door but the room is empty.

I go to the stairs and look up but I can't see anything except for a flicker of candle light. I slowly climb the spiral staircase, and when I reach the top of the stairs, the first thing I notice is Tobias standing across the room with his back to me. I look around at what used to be the lantern room, which is constructed of six oversized full glass panels giving it a hexagonal shape. At chair level there is a wooden shelf all around the room that has more lit candles on it than I've ever seen. In the center of the room is a large four poster king size bed with a sheer white billowy canopy. As a matter of fact, all the linens I see in the room are crisp, bright white. Below me is a white oak wide plank wooden floor and above me are exposed beams made of the same wood and a vaulted ceiling.

"This room is ... breathtaking. From what I've seen of the place so far, it's the perfect setting," I say. "I hope you didn't worry that I wouldn't like it because I truly do." He slowly turns around and my breath catches in my throat. His shirt is hanging open exposing his chiseled chest and abdomen to me. He is the very definition of perfect, and I feel the spark of desire low, just below my navel. He turns back around, and I hear him pouring drinks. He brings me a champagne flute full of sparkling cider.

"We don't have to do this," he says, handing me the drink.

"Yes, we do," I shyly say then I have to clear my throat. "I want to."

"Love ... you look petrified," he says.

"I look that bad," I say with a nervous chuckle. I have to look away from his penetrating gaze. Everything comes out in a rush. "Tobias, I won't lie. I'm more nervous now than I was before our first time, and I don't exactly know why. But don't mistake my nervousness for anything else. We just need to go slow. I promise, I won't stop."

"If you _need_ to stop, stop," he says. "I understand."

"I wish _I_ understood," I whisper. I raise my head and look into his eyes. I see a deep love and intense need radiating toward me. We both want this, we both _need_ this. I hold my glass up.

"To my husband, the love of my life, my best friend, my soul mate, the father of my unborn children. I didn't know what love truly meant until I met you, until I was _loved_ by you. I don't know what I would do without you. You've been so patient and loving with me over the past few weeks. I honestly don't know how to repay you," I say. "I love you more and more each day, Tobias. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to love you for the rest of your life. You don't know what that means to me."

"To my best friend ... my lover ... my partner in life ... the mother of my children ... my blushing bride ... my beautiful _wife_ ," he says. I can't help but smile brightly when he calls me his wife. I don't think I will ever get used to it or tire of those sweet words. "You are kind, caring, loving, romantic, passionate, charming, feisty, strong, thoughtful, beautiful. You also have a rare quality ... you don't _know_ that you're beautiful, which makes you that much more attractive and selfless, giving, sensitive, modest, compassionate. I could go on. You make me want to be a better man. I didn't know that love existed in this world until you jumped into my life. I would have faded away into obscurity without you. I love you more than I know how to put into words so please allow me to _show_ you how much I love you, Tris." We toast each other then I take a sip of the cider, never taking my eyes off his handsome face. The bubbles tickle my nose and I giggle. When we're finished, he takes the empty glass from me and puts it back where he got them on a narrow console table against one of the glass walls then turns and walks to me. I'm sure he has to be able to see my heart beating in my chest it's pounding so hard.

I stand on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck and stare lovingly into his eyes. Then I slowly draw his mouth to mine tasting the sweet cider on his lips as they move tenderly, almost tentatively with mine. He manages to pull me closer as the need behind the kiss deepens. I draw a ragged, uneven breath into my aching lungs as he moves his mouth to my neck, kissing everywhere. I slide my hands up his muscled chest and push his shirt off his shoulders, and it lands at our feet. I slowly move my hands to the button of his pants and move it from its home then slowly lower the zipper over his straining bulge causing him to groan at my touch. I push them down until they get past his hips then they fall to his ankles and he steps out of them. He takes my hand and leads me to the bed. He sits down, and I stand in front of him.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton, so much it hurts," I say. "I'm not scared to be with you anymore. I never should have been. I realize that now. What we have is true love. What we do is _make_ love. You would never hurt me like he tried." I step closer until I'm standing in between his parted legs. "Love me please." My voice is laced with desire, lust, and thick need. I can feel my heart hammering away in my chest from the anticipation like it's trying to escape its confines. I slowly untie the belt on my robe while I'm staring into his eyes then let it slide off my shoulders and fall to the floor. His smoldering gaze nearly sets me on fire, and I feel the spark of desire turn into a four alarm blaze inside me.

"You are so beautiful," he says gently putting his hands on my waist. A blush covers me from head to toe as he looks me up and down. "I love you, too," he says to me.

"I want you to touch me," I whisper. He stands up and sweeps me up in his arms, cradling my back and legs. His mouth finds mine, and he kisses me eagerly until he lays me down. I scoot toward the center as he follows me onto the bed. He lies down beside me and once again finds my mouth. He kisses me passionately, almost ferociously, the intense need he's feeling matching mine. I feel his hand glide over my growing belly and a shiver runs down my spine. His feather light touch slowly moves up my body until he covers my aching breast with his palm and kneads gently. He moves his mouth to my neck and kisses the spot beneath my left ear, and I grab onto him as a tiny ripple of pleasure moves through me, and I moan loudly. I pull his mouth back to mine as I arch my body against his. We let our tongues tangle as I move my hands up and down his back. He rolls my sensitive nipple between his thumb and index finger, and I gasp his name against his lips. He moves over me and starts kissing his way down my body. First he kisses the hollow in my neck. I lie back enjoying the sensation of his soft lips and velvety tip of his tongue sweeping ever so faintly against my skin. He kisses my right collar bone then brushes his lips against my chest to my left collar bone making me shiver then kisses each of my ravens, lingering on his as he always does. I keep running my hands up and down his back memorizing every rippled muscle.

"God, I love you," he says as he moves even lower, hovering over my breasts. I raise my head and meet his burning eyes. He lifts a soft mound up to his mouth and circles the aching nipple with just the very tip of his tongue. After a few laps he captures the bud with his lips then gently starts sucking and nibbling on it. I grasp his body tightly with my knees and tangle my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to me. His other hand slides to my free breast and caresses gently then pinches the nipple softly. When he moves his mouth to my other breast, my body arches against him of its own accord. He circles the nipple before drawing it into his mouth. Then he sucks on it making it hard and wet. He nibbles gently making me moan deeply. He moves further down my body planting kisses on every inch of my naked skin. As he lowers himself further, I instinctively open my legs wider anticipating what I know is coming soon. He dips his tongue into my navel, and I feel a pulsating desire between my parted thighs.

"Tobias," I moan as he reaches up and covers a breast with his hand again. He massages and reforms the breast gently as he kisses further down my body. He wraps his other arm around my leg and kisses the inside of my thigh. He lightly moves the tip of his tongue ever so gently across the sensitive skin. I feel his fingertips trail down my body until he's caressing the inside of my other thigh. I know once he touches me it won't take long to reach my climax. The fire he sparked is burning out of control. I feel him move his fingers to the entrance of my womanhood, and I hold my breath with anticipation. He ever so gently slides one finger into my moist tunnel, and I nearly come undone. He pulls his hand back just as slowly as he inserted it then starts the slow in-and-out motion. I feel his hot breath coming quicker against my skin as he glides his tongue all along my opening alongside his finger but avoiding my aching nubbin. An electric shock runs through me when he finally flits his tongue out and ever so slightly touches just the side of the sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Oh, my God!" I say. I've missed how this makes me feel. He quickens the pace he set with his finger as he kisses all around my thighs and exposed sex, making sure he only touches the needy nub once in a while. "Please, Tobias." Hearing the overwhelming desire in my voice, he stops teasing and draws the aching bundle into his mouth and sucks gently. I arch my body against his mouth but it doesn't deter him. He tightens his hold on me before he captures the nubbin between his teeth. He swirls his tongue with the lightest touch, and I come totally undone. I arch completely off the bed, holding his head closer to me making sure his tongue doesn't leave its target as a wave of pleasure so strong crashes over me that I think I'm going to drown in it. He keeps up the pace as I ride the wave to completion. He finally slows then gently removes his finger from my body and starts slowly kissing his way back up making sure he hits every target he missed on the way down. I feel him kiss each erect nipple lightly then finally he captures my mouth with his.

After kissing him for what seems like forever, I gently push on his chest, and knowing what I want, he automatically rolls us so I'm the one in control. I lie on him fully for a time, thoroughly enjoying the feel of his soft lips moving tenderly with mine and our naked skin on one another's. I finally move my mouth off his, and following his lead, I skim just the tip of my tongue to the sensitive spot beneath his right ear. I suck, lick, and kiss gently making him groan loudly causing me to smile against his skin. I had almost forgotten that I can give him just as much pleasure as he gives me. I move down until I'm straddling his left leg, and I kiss every inch of his broad shoulders. I run my hands up and down his chest as my lips explore every inch. I lightly trace my name over his heart with the very tip of my tongue then I finally turn my attention to his already erect nipples. I capture one in my mouth, rolling my tongue over it, making it impossibly harder still. He groans at my touch and wraps his hands in my curls. I bite the bud gently, and he moans loudly. I move to his other nipple and slowly circle it with just the very tip of my tongue.

"Shit, Tris!" he says as I capture the bud between my teeth and suck on it gently. "God, I love you but you're killing me." I release his nipple and kiss my way further down his abdomen, caressing his body with my fingertips as I go. I kiss his taut muscles then I circle my tongue around his navel before diving in and French kissing him. His guttural moans drive me further, and I boldly run just the tip of my tongue up and down his fully erect shaft, which is lying flat against his hard belly. His breathing becomes labored when I circle my small hand around his throbbing manhood, move it away from his body, and glide my fist up and down. I run my tongue up and down the shaft several times, concentrating on the highly sensitive ridge around the head before I take him into my mouth, sucking gently while I look in his eyes, which darken a full shade at my action. After several minutes, he tosses his head back and I smile around his shaft. Soon his hips are thrusting forward as I love him with my mouth, tongue, and hand in a synchronized rhythm. Before long I feel him swell further in my mouth, and he stops breathing for a moment then shudders beneath me as he releases himself. I swallow every drop, keeping the rhythm of my hand until he expels himself fully. I slowly take my mouth off of him and lick up and down his softening shaft a few times before I kiss my way back up his body. I lie on him, giving him my weight fully again, and slowly lower my mouth to his. In the middle of a slow, lingering kiss he breaks away and yawns loudly.

"I am so sorry but would you mind terribly if we got some sleep," he asks.

"No, I don't mind," I say, a contagious yawn of my own escaping. "I'm sorry we didn't get to make love though."

"What do you think we just did?" he asks, running his fingertips lightly down my face.

"You know what I mean," I shyly say.

"Yeah, I do," he says with a sigh, "but it's okay. We'll pick up where we left off later. We have 10 days of uninterrupted 'us' time."

"That sounds great Mr. Eaton," I say kissing him tenderly. "Goodnight. I love you so much, Tobias. Thank you for going slow."

"Goodnight, Mrs. Eaton. I love you more than you know."


	36. Chapter 36

I yawn widely and my eyes flutter open. I reach out for Tobias but his side of the bed is cold and empty, making me pout. I stretch, loosening my stiff muscles then swing my legs over the side of the bed. I sit for a minute trying to get my bearings and look out the glass panel window toward the city. By the placement of the sun, it's midafternoon. We slept for hours naked in each other's arms, the events of the previous 24 hours exhausting us both. I slide out of bed and look around. I pick up his tuxedo shirt and deeply inhale his scent with a smile. I slip it on and button the two middle buttons.

As I start down the staircase, I glance out the window again, and I wonder momentarily what exists beyond the horizon then I continue downstairs. When I walk into the living room, I find it empty. I hear the shower running and know he's in the bathroom. I sit down on the couch then decide to strike a sexy pose – well as sexy as I know how to be – to surprise him when he comes out. I lie down on my side on the couch with my head propped up in my hand and my legs slightly bent, one laying over the other. I make sure that his shirt is covering only the bare necessities, hinting at what lies beneath. He opens the door and steps into the living room wearing only a pair of small, tight boxer briefs. I slide my eyes over his nearly naked body, and the fire of desire starts burning low in my stomach. _Damn_ he looks good. When he looks up, our eyes lock, and he stops in his tracks. One eyebrow raises as he takes in the sight before him then a smile turns up the ends of his lips.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Eaton," I coyly say. "It's a lovely day, isn't it?"

"It is now, Mrs. Eaton," he says continuing to run his eyes over me like a gentle caress. "Would you like to make it even better?" I smile and beckon him to me with my finger just as my stomach growls loudly. I didn't even know I was hungry but it makes perfect sense. It's been hours since the reception. He lets out a small chuckle, and I stick out my bottom lip, pouting and sigh. "How about some lunch then we can get back to uh ... this." He motions to my sexy pose. I get up off the couch, moving as seductively as I can, and go to him. I wrap my arms around his waist, and he leans down and places his lips to mine. He slowly kisses me until the passion threatens to boil over. He tears himself away from me and stands back trying to catch his breath.

"I'd say I'm sorry ... but I'm not," I breathlessly say with a smirk taking a step forward, pressing every inch of my body to his, going up on my tiptoes, and giving him a quick kiss. "I'm going to take a quick shower. Is the shampoo and stuff in there?"

"Yeah and our clothes are in the small closet," he says. "Does anything in particular sound good?" I know what sounds good, and it isn't food.

"Surprise me, Tobias," I say, slowly running my hand across his taut abs before I turn and go into the bathroom. I feel his eyes burning into my back as I walk away from him, and I turn and blow him a kiss. I wonder what's gotten into me. I put the shirt I'm wearing on the back of the door and step into the small shower. I'm in and out within minutes. I dry myself thoroughly then put his shirt back on. It makes me feel like I'm wrapped in his embrace. I towel dry my hair until it's barely wet then return to my husband. Just thinking the word, tightens my stomach. I step out of the bathroom and find him in front of the small stove making eggs. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his Abnegation tattoo.

"Why don't you sit down? Lunch is almost done," he says, covering my hands with one of his. I hug him tightly then sit at the pub table where he serves me scrambled eggs, buttery wheat toast, and freshly squeezed orange juice.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he says then puts a bite of egg in his mouth.

"What are we going to do here for 10 days?" I ask.

"Bored already?" he asks with a smile and chuckle.

"No," I say rolling my eyes at him. "I'd be happy to spend the next 10 days in bed with you but since you packed clothes I imagine you have some other things in mind for us."

"Very perceptive," he says with a twinkle in his eyes. "Would you like to know or would you like to be surprised?" I take his question seriously. He's put a lot of effort into this honeymoon and until very early this morning I didn't even know where he was taking me.

"Even though I would _love_ to know what you have planned, I'm going to let you surprise me," I say.

"Thank you, Tris," he sincerely says, his sexy gaze penetrating me to my core once again. "You don't know what that means. I would have told you if you asked me but I wanted to keep our plans a surprise. I love you." He leans over the table and gives me a quick peck then he gets up and puts our empty dishes in the dishwasher. "Want to watch some TV?" A maniacal giggle escapes me, and I stare at him like he's possibly lost his mind. He laughs at my expression.

" _NO_ ," I say, raising my voice at him. "We can go to the couch or up to the bedroom or stay right here at the table, I don't care but I want you to make love to me." I watch his dark eyes dilate.

"That can be arranged," he says moving close to me and running his hand down my cheek. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"I love you," I say staring into his handsome face then kissing his lips slowly. "I'm not scared anymore, Tobias. I never should have been. I realize that now. When I was walking down the aisle toward you, I felt such strong emotions that I didn't recognize. To tell you the truth, I still don't. But I know one thing, I'm not going to let _him_ steal my intimate moments with you anymore. I know that I needed time to heal after what he did, but I think the longer I waited, the more scared I became of loving you. I'm sorry we had to wait so long."

"You don't have to apologize, love," he says cupping my face. I lean into him. "You said it yourself, you needed time to heal. You took time to do that. If we would have made love before you were _truly_ ready, it could have made things worse. So the way I look at it, _today_ is the right day." Tears run down my face as he speaks. He pulls me close, and I cling to him. He caresses my hair and whispers, I love you in my ear over and over. I swear this is the last time I will cry about this, especially in front of him because I know he suffers when I do.

When the tears run dry, I draw his mouth back to mine, and I kiss him aggressively. I half expect him to stop me but he kisses me back just as ferociously, our desire, need, want, and love showing plainly in our tangling tongues. He picks me straight up, and I tightly wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He carefully carries me up the steep spiral staircase and lays me down on the big bed. He straightens up and looks down at me with equal parts lust and love in his dark blue eyes. I inch back as he slowly crawls across the bed to cover my body with his. I can actually feel every hard inch of him against me but very little of his weight. I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him slowly. I run my hands down the side of his body and rest them on his hips. He runs his tongue against my bottom lip, and I sigh and open my mouth for him. He thrusts his tongue deep into my mouth and mates it with mine. I love the taste of orange on his tongue. I push his boxer briefs down his hips but can't get them very far. He pulls away from me and gets off the bed. He rips his underwear off then covers me again. I move my hand down his body and wrap my small hand around his hardening length and slowly start moving it up and down while we stare into each other's eyes.

"I need you now, Tobias," I whine. "I can't wait one more minute. I feel like we've had weeks of foreplay, and I'm about ready to explode. I want you _inside_ me ... _now_." The words come out like I'm pleading and maybe I am. It's been so long, and I want him so much. He moves his hand between us, and I open my thighs farther for him. I groan at the contact, and I swear it comes from my toes. He gently circles my nubbin with the pad of his callused thumb getting me ready for him. He leans down and kisses me again as he inserts his middle finger into my womanhood. He slowly makes love to me with his hand, his thumb never leaving my nubbin. My hand starts a quicker pace on his steel-hard shaft, and he groans loudly. He withdraws his finger from me and leans back making me release my grip on him. He unbuttons the shirt I forgot I'm still wearing, and I lean up, take it off, and throw it across the room.

I lie back down, spreading my legs as far as I can. He lies down on top of me giving me his weight and tears come to my eyes. He places his forehead against mine and looks deeply into my eyes as he places himself at my moist center. He leans down and kisses the edge of my eye, capturing the escaping tears. I feel him push himself into me a couple inches. A gasp escapes my parted lips.

"It's been so long," I pant looking into his suddenly worried eyes. "I need you to go slow."

"Okay," he roughly says, moving his lips to mine. After he's still for a while, letting my body get accustomed to his welcome invasion he pushes into me another couple inches. He swivels his hips, and I raise my knees closer to my chest to make room for his substantial size. After a couple minutes, he pulls back slightly and slides further into my tight depths. I feel him stretching me, filling me, and I moan deeply. I pull his lips to mine and kiss him intensely. I feel him pull back a few inches then thrust into me harder until he's nearly all the way in. I bite my bottom lip to keep from calling out and grasp his hips tightly, digging my nails in. After a minute, my grip loosens, and he pulls back and seats himself fully within me. I pull his mouth to mine to trap my scream of pleasure. He kisses my mouth aggressively for a time, never moving inside me. He slowly moves his mouth, kissing across my cheek to my ear.

"You're tighter than I remember," he groans into my ear. "It feels _so_ good to be inside you again." I blush brightly at his words.

"You feel bigger than I remember," I breathlessly say, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He's still for a long time, staring into my eyes, caressing my face, kissing the sensitive spots on my neck and throat. When I'm totally relaxed I say, "I'm ready, Tobias. Love me _please_. I need you so much."

"I love you, Tris," he says as he slowly withdraws his pulsating shaft until just the head remains inside the stretching walls of my body then he thrusts forward just as slowly. I gasp at the wonderful feeling. He sets a very slow ... very familiar in-and-out pace trying not to overwhelm me. I whimper and move my hips to meet each and every one of his gentle thrusts. After a few minutes, our need increases, and he speeds the pace marginally. He dips his head down and takes my nipple into his mouth and sucks on it gently, making it wet and hard. He nibbles on it lightly sending a jolt to where my body is joined with his. Then he swirls his tongue around the aching, sensitive bud, and I arch myself against his mouth. He kisses up my body from my chest all the way to my mouth, and I kiss him with a deep need. We increase the speed further as our hip bones collide almost painfully into each other. I feel an overwhelming, overpowering, all consuming orgasm approaching as our pace becomes wanton and frantic. He moves back, resting on his arms and slams into me with thrusts that push me down into the mattress. As he drives aggressively into me, I arch upwards, taking all of him deeply into my wet heat.

"Oh, God! I'm going to come, Tobias," I shout as his thrusts become piston like. "Don't stop. God! Don't stop!" Our breathing is fast and hard and a quite irregular. He keeps up the impressive tempo as I slip over the edge. I swear I black out momentarily as my body quivers and convulses beneath his. I'm spasming almost uncontrollably around his impressive shaft when I feel him stretch me to what must be my limits. His magnificent body shudders above me, and then I feel his pulsing life flowing into me. He doesn't stop the frenzied writhing until he has released himself fully then he slows the rhythm and finally stops. He collapses on top of me, and I welcome his full weight. We both lie there panting hard. After a moment, he turns us on our side and wraps me up in his arms, kissing my forehead and top of my head. I tilt my head back and join my lips with his. I kiss him slowly, sensually.

"This may sound incredibly stupid but I'm so glad we didn't forget how to do that," I say, my breath still coming faster than normal. His silent laughter does something to our still joined bodies, and I clench my pelvic muscles absentmindedly, making him groan loudly.

"You're okay, right?" he asks. I can't really describe the look on his face but it isn't the joyous one I expected. "I got quite ... rough ... with you. I didn't mean to. You asked me to go slow. It had been so long ... I lost myself loving you. I'm so sorry, Tris." I smile brightly at him and run my fingertips lightly, lovingly down his cheek.

"You were gentle when I needed you to, and I appreciate it more than you know," I say, pulling his mouth to mine for a tender kiss. "But when the passion took over, our bodies let us know what we wanted, and we didn't want slow lovemaking, we wanted passion, aggression, fire."

"I guess you're right," he says with a genuine smile on his face.

" _You_ are the one who taught me that there are different ways to make love. Sometimes oral pleasure will be enough for us, just like this morning. Other times one or both of us will want to go slow and make it last for hours. Then there will be times when the passion is overwhelming and a quick release will be what we crave." I feel my face getting warmer and warmer with each word. Here I am a married, pregnant woman, and I'm still uncomfortable talking about sex even with my husband.

"You are _so_ cute when you blush talking about sex," he says, kissing my neck.

"Tobias!" I moan. "I can't believe I was ever afraid of this." I grasp his shaft, which is still buried inside me. "You are gentle when I need you to be, and you are fiery and passionate when I want you to be. I wanted fire just now." I push him onto his back and move my legs to straddle his hips then sit up. He stares at the spot where our bodies are joined as I move myself slowly back and forth while grasping and releasing his hardening length in a slow rhythm. He moans loudly at me. "Tell me, Tobias. What do you want?" His eyes slowly climb my body and meet mine. They are dusky with yearning.

"Right now," he says, thrusting his hips upward causing me to gasp out loud, "I want to make love to my wife and make her come harder than she ever has." I move myself forward and put my hands on either side of his head as I set a satisfying rhythm for us. Every time I push back, he thrusts up, and a loud moan escapes both our mouths.

"Uh, uh, uh, Tobias, uh," I say over and over again as I increase the pace. I close my eyes and lose myself in the feelings as I make love to my soul mate, my best friend, my lover, my _husband_. He lifts his head and captures one swaying breast with his hot, wet mouth and the other with his sure hand. He sucks on my throbbing nipple while his hand gently caresses my aching breast. His other hand is exploring my body. The position I'm in has my nubbin making almost continuous contact with his pelvic bone, and I've already experienced a tremor of pleasure. I relax myself further, and I can feel a full-fledged earthquake approaching. Tobias' breathing becomes labored as we increase the pace again. He's bucking wildly beneath me as I crash down on him. I feel his hard length swell and start to throb as we come at the same time.

"Oh God! TTTOOOBBBIIIAAASSS! Shit, shit, _shit_!" I chant as my body shudders and tremors around his straining shaft, which is still moving hard in and out of me, flooding my body with his love for a second time within the hour. I collapse on top of him sated while he continues to hammer into my body. After a minute, then another, he slows and finally stops. I lie on top of him panting and gasping for much needed air while he pulls in lungful's himself.

"Damn. That was ... wow!" he says in my ear, wrapping his arms around me, tangling his fingers in my hair, and drawing my mouth to his. The kiss starts out fiery, full of passion then gives way to tenderness and romance. I think we've had enough for the moment. He puts his mouth up against my ear and says, "I love you, my wife." I shiver. I lean back a little and look into his loving eyes.

"I love you, Tobias," I say. "I'm not too heavy am I?" He smiles and shakes his head no. I prop my chin up on my hands and stare into his eyes. We don't say a word. We just gaze lovingly at one another. Before long his expression becomes serious, almost severe. I pull his face to mine, laying my forehead against his, and concentrate very hard.

"What are you doing?" he asks, sounding so grave.

"I'm trying to read your mind," I say, concentrating once again. He chuckles a little bit.

"You want to know what's on my mind I take it?" he asks.

"Always," I say.

"You," he says. "How did I get so lucky to find such a beautiful woman who loves me the way you do. I was trying to figure out what I did to deserve you. I must have done something right in the grand scheme of things to receive such a coveted prize. I love you Beatrice Grace Eaton ... with all my heart and soul. I may not exactly know what it means to be a husband but I will do everything within my power to be a good one and make sure that you live the happy life you deserve." His words pull at my heartstrings and bring tears to my eyes.

"I still don't get the way you see me," I say, the tears flowing down my cheeks and settling on his bare chest. "There is one thing that I understand though with all my heart. You love me the way I love _you_ ... unconditionally, fully, slightly irrationally. You are everything to me, Tobias Eaton. Without you, I would be nothing, I would have nothing. There would be a gaping hole in my soul that would never be filled. I'm honored that you call me your wife, and I will do everything within my power to give you a good life with me and our children. I will never intentionally hurt you. I will love you with everything I have for as long as we both shall live." We chuckle. It's like we're saying wedding vows again.

"I love you, Tris," he says. "Turn around and look out the window." I roll off of him, and he gather's me up in his arms. The only light in the room at the moment is that coming from the city. It's an exceptional sight. I thought the way the buildings looked last night from the Ferris wheel was amazing but this is 10 times better.

"It's beautiful," I say. "Look! The Ferris wheel is lit up again tonight. I wonder if anyone is riding on it."

"It's a beautiful sight but not half as beautiful as what I'm looking at right now," he says. I look up into his face and his eyes are gliding up and down my naked body.

"You don't look half bad yourself," I say, reaching out and caressing the area above his sleeping manhood. I see it stir. "Is there a bathtub in this place?"

"As a matter of fact, there is," he says. "I looked at all the rooms trying to figure out which one I wanted for this week. You know what would be fun?" I shake my head. "We should make love in every room of the lighthouse. _That_ would be fun."

"That _would_ be fun. How many rooms are there?" I ask, more than ready to play. We have 10 days ... _and_ nights.

"I don't know," he says. "We can count them, and then we can 'christen' each one of them."

"That sounds like a plan, my sweet, loving, _sexy_ husband," I say laying on him again and pressing my lips to his. This is going to be a _great_ honeymoon.


	37. Chapter 37

The past 48 hours have been some of the most perfect in my entire life. Tobias and I have no set schedule. We eat when we're hungry, sleep when we're tired, clean up when it's necessary, and make love when the mood hits, which quite honestly is most of the time. Tobias took me on a tour of the spectacular lighthouse, and we looked over each of the beautiful rooms. We counted 24 different places that we get to "christen," and we've gotten a good start, though our favorite spot is the beautiful big bed in the old lantern room at the very top of the lighthouse. That's where we spend most of our time. As a matter of fact, I'm lying naked with Tobias right now. We are both trying to catch our breath after making love twice already this morning.

"You're tummy's getting bigger," he softly says when he can finally speak. He's lying with his head just below my breasts, caressing my expanding abdomen. "Hi, Peanut. It's Daddy. I hope you are happy in there. Your mommy and I can't wait to meet you. We love you so much."

"I love you, Tobias," I say, emotion thick in my voice. He lifts his head and looks into my teary eyes. He moves to hold me in his arms. "You're going to be such a wonderful father."

"Thank you," he says. "That is probably the kindest thing you've ever said to me."

"It's the truth," I say, pressing my lips to his. He moves away from me before the passion reignites.

"Are you ready for a honeymoon surprise?" he asks when I start to protest, which makes me instantly forgive him for pulling away from our kiss prematurely. I smile brightly at him.

"I never knew that I liked surprises until I met you," I say. "I know I sometimes complain but I don't actually mean it. So what's my surprise?"

"There is a street fair and concert in Amity," he says. "They call it Strawberry Festival. It happens once a year and it happens to be today. There is also strawberry picking."

"A concert?" I ask, excitement visible on my face. Everything he said sounds amazing but I've never seen live music before. "I've never been to a concert before."

"Neither have I," he says, kissing my cheek softly. "When I was planning our honeymoon, an Amity member reminded me that the festival was today. I thought it would be a perfect activity for us, something to get us out of bed and interacting with the real world. I thought we could have some strawberries for dessert tonight." We drag ourselves out of bed. While I'm showering, he fixes us breakfast. I put my hair in a simple French braid and put on some makeup for the first time in days. I go to the small closet and see what clothes he brought for me. I look at everything twice and don't recognize most of it. I pick out a very nice black with small white polka dot sleeveless sundress with a fitted button down bodice and full skirt that hits me at the knees. I decide to pair it with the black ballet flats instead of the 3 inch heels that are sitting next to them.

"Tobias," I say when I come out of the bathroom. He turns and looks my way. His eyes glide over me, and he smiles brightly. "Where did the clothes come from?"

"Do you like them?" he asks. "I thought you would like some new clothes for the honeymoon. I actually did all the shopping myself." He sounds very impressed with himself.

"All by yourself? Wow! I love them," I say, pulling his mouth to mine for a thank you kiss. "Pancakes!" He has a platter of pancakes and bacon and two glasses of milk on the table. As we sit down to eat breakfast, I ask, "Hey, have you heard from Zander or Stella? I feel really bad that we haven't checked on Tyler. I'm going to be a terrible mother."

"You are not," he admonishes with a frown on his face. "We've been ... preoccupied." He gives me a shameless smile, and I blush from head to toe and shake my head at him. "Stella called while you were in the shower actually. Tyler's doing remarkably well but he misses us. I talked to him for a little bit. He asked for you and was disappointed you couldn't come to the phone but he seemed to understand. I told him you would call him before his bedtime." Disappointment and something else move through me. I wish I could have talked to him.

"I'm sorry I missed him," I sadly say. "Help me remember to call them around 7:30 p.m. tonight so I can tell him goodnight."

"You look beautiful, by the way," he says. "I love you."

"Thank you," I say with a smile. "I love you, too." We finish breakfast, and I clean up while he showers just like we do at home. The routine activity makes me feel more like myself. Just as I finish putting everything into the dishwasher, he comes out of the bathroom dressed in faded black jeans that hug his body making my mind go to X-rated activities, a skin tight dark gray t-shirt, and a black and gray striped button down shirt that he is wearing open. He looks fantastic but then again he always looks great. My mouth goes dry, and desire stirs just below my navel as he walks toward me.

"Wow," I say running my hands up and down his chest. "You look ... gorgeous." He picks me up, catching me off guard, and I laugh heartily. He puts his lips on mine cutting off the laughter and kisses me passionately. I tangle my fingers in his curls after I wrap my arms around his neck. After we come up for air, I breathlessly say, "Keep kissing me that way and we won't be going anywhere today except for upstairs to bed."

"That wouldn't be such a bad thing, would it?" he asks.

"No, it wouldn't," I say moving my mouth back to his but he shakes his head no, and I automatically pout. He sighs and kisses me again but breaks away too soon making _me_ sigh.

"We better get going," he says, sitting me on my feet. He takes my hand and leads me down the flights of stairs and out the lighthouse. It's about a mile and a half walk to the center of Amity but we are used to walking all over the huge Dauntless compound so the distance is nothing. I am glad I wore the flats though. My feet would have been screaming at me by the time we got there. We walk hand-in-hand through a green field full of wildflowers then through a huge orchard of fruitless apple trees while talking about nothing important. We laugh together often. When we come out of the orchard, I see the buildings that make up Amity. In a way it kind of reminds me of Abnegation. All the buildings look exactly the same: Unpainted, weathered, rough-looking dark wood, except for the greenhouses, which are newer looking wide, short glass buildings that seem to be the polar opposite of the wooden structures. We walk down an alley and into the center of the faction, which for all intents and purposes is a city of its own. There are several vendors siting in make-shift booths lining both sides of the street. There are hundreds of people milling around wearing blue and white, black and white, red and yellow, and even a few who are wearing just black. I look down at my dress and hope no one mistakes me for a Candor. Then I laugh out loud at myself. I'm sure my _very_ Dauntless husband would dispel that thought quickly, not to mention the visible tattoos that I have. I see Tobias looking at me strangely.

"It's nothing," I say. "I was just being ... well, kind of stupid." He leans over and puts his lips to my ears making me shiver.

"You are never stupid," he says bringing a smile to my face. He kisses me softly but quickly then asks me what I want to do first.

"Let's start at one end of the street and visit each and every vendor," I excitedly say. He agrees and we keep walking in the direction we are heading trying to take everything in. We see booths selling every kind of handmade item you can imagine. There is jewelry, blankets, home decorating items, soaps, lotions, perfumes, clothes in different faction colors, candles, furniture, and so much more. Other booths are selling different food items from jarred applesauce to bags full of freshly popped popcorn and multiple flavors of fudge to freshly baked homemade pies in every flavor imaginable. There are even some vendors demonstrating their craft. Tobias and I stand for at least 15 minutes watching a young Amity girl who doesn't look as old as me with bright green eyes, flowing red hair, and countless freckles on her face and exposed limbs dip and shape candles. Tobias buys several dozen votives from her, he's that impressed.

I see a knit sweater in a black, dark gray, and light gray variegated pattern that I know will look awesome on Tobias so I ask him to go back a couple booths and get us some apple butter to put on our morning toast, and I buy the sweater as a Christmas gift. I hide it in the bottom of a bag holding two black maternity sundresses he bought me. I tried to talk him out of them but he insisted so I relented and let him spoil me. We are getting near the end of the street when something catches my eye, and I hurry over to it.

"Tobias, look at this," I say. We stand in front of the muted watercolor painting and stare in awe. "Should we?"

"Yes, we most definitely should," he says. We step around the corner and see a familiar face.

"Gunner!" I should have recognized his work but I've never seen any of his paintings before. "Hi. It's good to see you again."

"Well, well. Tris and Four. I didn't think I would be seeing you again so soon," he says with a friendly smile. I feel very at ease with him. He has such a laid back personality. "What can I do for you two?"

"We are interested in the lighthouse painting around the corner," Tobias says. We all go back and stand in front of the masterpiece. It's our honeymoon bed and breakfast depicted at sunset in its prime. The dark blue shimmering waters of Lake Michigan encompass the exquisite lighthouse, and the darkened skyline of the city is backlit by the brilliant pinks and oranges and the dark blues and grays of a beautiful sunset. The colors are subtle and muted like the rest of the painting but it's so beautiful. Looking closely in the background, I can even see The Navy Pier and our Ferris wheel. "How much is it?"

"Well for the two of you, how about 15 points," he says. "I was going to sell it for 25." We don't have to think twice.

"We'll take it," Tobias says. "Can it be delivered to Dauntless the week after next? We're on our honeymoon, and I would hate to damage it."

"I can arrange that," he say. "You know, I could actually deliver it and your wedding photos at the same time. Kill two birds with one stone as they say." I've never heard that before.

"That would be great," Tobias says. "We would appreciate it." Tobias takes the painting down from where it's being displayed, hands it Gunner, and we pay for it.

"I love it, Gunner," I say. "We are staying at the lighthouse."

"A reminder of your honeymoon," he says. "I'm glad I decided to pain it. I've never done one before, and I'll never do one exactly like it again. I like to keep my pieces one of a kind."

"Your work is ... breathtaking," I say. "You have a great talent and your pieces help make our apartment a home."

"That is the best compliment I've ever received," he says with a traditional Amity hug.

"Thank you again, Gunner," Tobias says, receiving a hug of his own. Tobias finds two kids who volunteer to carry our many bags to the lighthouse, and he promises them each a couple points' worth of candy when they return. We sit down on a vacant bench waiting for their return watching the action around us. When they return in record time, they tell us the caretaker took the bags and delivered them to our room. Tobias goes with them to pick out what candy they want, we thank them, and they run off.

"That was amazing," I quietly say. "I'm not sure Dauntless kids would have been so kind."

"Oh, they might have offered us a hand then they probably would have taken off with the bags never to be seen again," he says. He's probably right.

In a field just beyond the final buildings are several long wooden tables and benches where a wonderful smelling barbeque lunch is being served before the concert begins. We find a place to sit at one of the crowded tables then he goes to get us each a plate. I'm pouring us glasses of water out of the communal pitchers when I hear a familiar voice.

"Beatrice?" I look toward the sound of my full name, and I see Robert Black standing not six feet away from me.

"Robert," I say. It's all I _can_ say. I haven't seen him since his interrogation, and to tell the truth, I never really thought I would see him again.

"I thought that was you," he says, his voice a little sad, a little distant. "I'm sorry..."

"You don't have to apologize to me for anything," I say interrupting him. "You didn't do anything wrong." The family sitting next to me finish eating then gets up and walks away. "Would you like to join us? Four is getting us something to eat."

"Your boyfriend, right?" he asks sitting down opposite me.

"He's actually my husband now," I say with a smile. Shock settles in on his face.

"Wow! Congratulations," he says. "I saw him momentarily at Candor, before I was put under truth serum, didn't I? He was sitting with you, right?"

"Yes," I say.

"He looked very familiar to me," he says.

"Robert Black," Tobias says, putting a plate full of barbeque chicken, early sweet corn, potato salad, and a slice of strawberry pie in front of me then he sets one down for himself and sits down beside me. "I've been calling you. Why haven't you returned any of my messages? I want to talk to you about our brother."

"Tobias Eaton," he says, slightly shocked and _very_ confused. "Wait! _You're_ Four?"

"Yes," Tobias says, once again sounding like Four. I touch his Amity tattoo, and he smiles at me. "I was given the nickname Four shortly after I joined Dauntless." Good, he sounds like my husband again.

"I didn't know," Robert says. "I'm sorry I haven't called you back. I've been unavailable to take phone calls. I'm on probation of sorts for hiding out from the men who first came to talk to me. This is actually the first day I've been allowed out of my house. You want to talk about Jeffrey?"

"Very much so," he says. "I knew about my other siblings but not him. How did you find out he's your brother?" Robert looks like this is a difficult subject to talk about but he holds his head high and answers Tobias' questions.

"Jeffrey and I have been friends for as long as I can remember," he quietly says. "Almost two years ago, he got really sick. Everyone thought he was going to die. The doctors didn't know what was wrong with him. After numerous tests, he was finally diagnosed with leukemia, and his only hope for survival was a bone marrow transplant. His parents sat him down after hearing that news and said that the entire family would get tested but they knew that there was no chance there would be a match because they weren't his biological parents. That's when he found out he was adopted as a baby as was his younger brother and sister. But a miracle happened, Laurel was a perfect match. It turns out they have the same biological parents." I gasp. I look at Tobias, and I see the blood drain from his face, leaving him deathly pale. I think we just found his sister. "She donated her bone marrow, and he luckily went into remission. Once he got to feeling better, he started searching for their birth parents. When he was sick, I volunteered to be tested to see if I was a match just in case his family wasn't. The analyst made a mistake and told us we have the same biological father. That's how we learned that we are brothers and not just best friends."

"How did he come up with Evelyn's identity?" Tobias asks, barely above a whisper.

"He talked to several people," Robert says. "Did you know Abnegation people like to gossip? I didn't until this happened. It's one of the reasons I chose to leave. I had trouble being selfless all the time but at least I'm honest about it. Anyway, Jeffrey talked to numerous people and literally asked the right questions until he had my father with Evelyn Eaton and Natalie Prior on multiple occasions. Until Dad's interrogation confirmed Evelyn is his mother, we had no way of knowing short of asking your mom, Beatrice, and how does one do something like that. There is something I don't understand. I was told that Dad said he has five children. I know about Susan, Jeffrey, Laurel and, of course, me but who is his fifth child and who is his or her mother?" I look at Tobias, and he has a blank look on his face. He finally meets my eyes, and we communicate silently. Do we let him in on the secret? I don't see any harm in it so I nod slightly at him. I don't think it's right to keep Robert in the dark anymore.

"Tyler," Tobias says.

"I'm sorry?" Robert says, confusion once again filling his features.

"Four's little brother, Tyler, is your brother also, Robert," I say. "Remember, you met him at the park. I held my breath that day when you looked at him. I thought for sure you would see your father in his eyes."

"How is that possible?" he asks, stunned. "Your mother is dead."

"No, she's not," Tobias says. "As a matter of fact, she's in the hospital about ready to give birth again." Robert stares open-mouthed at him. "Tris and I are adopting the baby."

"Is my father the father?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah," Tobias says. "He is." We all sit quietly letting this new information sink in. I can't believe that we know who his little sister is. I remember Laurel Walsh. She has light hair and light eyes that match Mr. Black's with Evelyn's curls and olive complexion. She is quite the little beauty, and if I remember she has Tyler's disposition. I could see her spending a quiet life in Abnegation.

"Are you alright, Four?" I ask after there has been no conversation for some time.

"I don't know," he says. "I honestly didn't think I would ever know who she was, especially after thinking she was dead all that time." Robert starts to question what Tobias means when I shake my head at him. "Thanks for the information, Robert."

"You're welcome," he says. "I'm sorry but I have a previous engagement. I hope I was able to answer all your questions. It was nice seeing you again."

"You were very helpful," Tobias says. "If I have any more questions, I will get ahold of you. Thanks again."

"Congratulations on your marriage," he says getting up from the table. "You two look very good together and very happy."

"Thanks, we are very happy," I say at the same time Tobias says, "Thank you," then Robert walks away.

"Do you want to go back to the lighthouse?" I ask, certain he will be in a grumpy mood the rest of the day.

"No," he says with a warm smile on his face. "We still have the concert, love, unless you're wanting to get out of here." The look in his eyes tightens my tummy but mention of the concert excites me, too.

"Let's go to the concert," I say. Then I whisper in his ear, "We'll have all night when we get back to the lighthouse." He kisses me lightly on the mouth.

"That's why I love you," he says. "We let our lunch get cold."

"That's okay," I say taking a bite of the potato salad. "Everything is still really good."

"I can't believe I know where my sister is, Tris," he says. "There doesn't feel like there's a piece of me missing."

"I'm glad you know where all your brothers and sisters are now, Tobias," I say. We finish our lunch then head to the bandstand. Several people are finding places to sit and we do the same. We locate a rather large tree that has no one around it. I sit back against it, and he lies down on the ground with his head in my lap like so many other couples are doing. I play with his hair while we chat more about his sister. He remembers Laurel also. He definitely seems more at ease knowing that she's okay. I think that's all he's wanted since finding out she was in fact alive and given up for adoption. I wonder how the two babies that were given up ended up in the same household without the adoptive parents knowing.

We're talking about the wonderful vendors we encountered today when several Amity members carrying different instruments climb up the steps of the weathered bandstand, and the concert begins. For two solid hours we listen to all different kinds of music, some with vocals and some without. I'm mesmerized by the talent not 20 feet away from me. I'm also slightly jealous. Their happiness while they perform is obvious. I can't think of anything outside the bedroom that makes me as happy as they seem right now. Well that's not entirely true. Tobias makes me that happy all the time. Target practice makes me feel strong and centered but I've never thought it made me feel happy but it does. My friends make me happy as does my job. Tyler makes me almost as happy as his brother does. I change my mind. I'm not jealous.

When the concert ends, we go to the large field of strawberries to pick tonight's dessert. We watch two Erudite woman and imitate what they're doing since neither one of us have ever done anything like this before. When we're done, we have a few pounds of plump sweet juicy fresh strawberries to eat over the next few days.

"Are you ready to get back?" he asks. "We want to make sure we make it back before dark. I have a pretty good sense of direction but I'm not familiar enough with Amity. I wouldn't want to get us lost."

"I'm ready," I say, taking his hand. "Thank you so much for a wonderful day. It's been another perfect one. I'm keeping count by the way." He leans over and kisses me passionately but breaks away too soon for me. I notice we have a bit of an audience, and I blush brightly. We walk back through town the way we came, and when we reach the orchard, I feel eyes on me but when I look around, I don't see anything but I can't shake the uneasy feeling. I hear a snap of a twig and look to my right and lock eyes with the last person I wanted to see ... Peter.


	38. Chapter 38

Peter's green eyes leer at me from behind an apple tree, and his lips slowly turn up into an evil grin. Suddenly I'm back in the training room, and every vile thing he said and did comes rushing back to me. I feel his hot breath on my face. I feel his hands moving over me forcefully, unwantedly. I smell the stale alcohol on his repulsive breath. I remember the pain of his repeated beatings and the terror of his actions. My heart starts hammering painfully in my chest, my breathing completely stops for a moment before I find myself silently gasping for air, my stomach heaves making me wish I could throw up, and a nervous energy moves through my body making me sweat bullets. I stop dead in my tracks quick enough that I actually pull Tobias back a couple of steps. When he looks down at me to question what in the world I'm doing, he can tell that there is something terribly wrong.

"What is it, Tris?" he asks putting his hands on my shoulders and leaning down to look in my face. I'm still staring directly into Peter's amused eyes. I honestly don't know what he's doing. If Tobias gets ahold of him, he _will_ kill him, and there is nothing that I or anyone else could do to stop him. Why isn't he running? Why doesn't he seem to be afraid?

"Peter," I whisper, terror filling my quivering voice. Tobias' expression changes from worried to severe in an instant and he straightens up. He is no longer my loving, romantic, caring husband. He is guarded, heartless, unfeeling Four. He glares in the direction I'm staring, and I imagine he sees what I'm seeing. He removes his hands from my shoulders and takes off like a shot after Peter who finally decides it's in his best interest to run from my livid husband. My heavy legs give out, and I can no longer hold myself. I drop to the ground like a sack of potatoes. I wrap my arms comfortingly around my knees and rock back and forth trying to hold myself together. I feel tears streaming uncontrollably down my cheeks and sobs wracking my body. Suddenly I remember that just a couple days ago I swore I would never cry about this ... about _him_ ever again, and I plan to do everything within my power to keep that promise. I inhale deeply through my nose and exhale slowly out my mouth, and I feel the impossible happening ... I feel myself calming slightly and the tears drying up. I listen for sounds of someone's approach but I hear absolutely nothing but the subtle rustling of the apple tree leaves in the gentle breeze.

I'm not sure exactly what I should do. The sun will be setting very soon just like Tobias pointed out, and if I stay here waiting on his return and he doesn't come back, I may not be able to find my way out of the orchard, and I'll be stranded in a strange place until either daybreak or someone finds me. And it might not be Tobias or a friendly Amity person who finds me. That thought makes me shiver. And what about Tobias? How will he find his way back to me, back to the lighthouse? I have to remind myself that not 10 minutes ago he told me that he has a very good sense of direction. He could easily make it back to me but if he catches Peter, and manages to control himself, he'll be busy most of the night. I make the decision to get myself back to the lighthouse on my own. I'm a strong, independent woman; I know I can do this. I get myself to my feet, my legs slightly wobbly, ever aware of my surroundings. I listen for movement and keep my eyes peeled for Tobias ... or Peter just in case his plan is to double back and find me alone. I go over basic self-defense and everything that Tobias taught me during initiation while I keep vigilant watch around me. I practice mental punches and kicks while my feet carry me swiftly through the orchard. When I see the lighthouse off in the distance, I feel my body calm marginally. _I_ need _to get to the lighthouse_. I look across the empty field of wildflowers and see no one approaching so I walk and then sprint toward my safe haven. Within minutes I'm inside the lighthouse gasping for much needed air, and I am able to calm myself down even more. I sit at the small table in the eat-in kitchen of the bed and breakfast getting more and more anxious as the minutes on the clock tick by with no sign of Tobias. Both my legs are nervously bouncing up and down like an out of control jackhammer when I hear a sound at the door more than an hour later. Tobias rushes in with a panicked, severe look on his face but when he sees me sitting here, it softens immediately.

"You left me, Tobias," I say, barely above a whisper, pain spearing through my heart. I didn't even know his actions affected me this way. "I didn't know what to do so I came back here."

"Damn it," he says under his breath. "I am _so_ sorry, love." He takes two giant steps, kneels in front of me, and I'm suddenly wrapped in his strong, loving embrace. I can't help myself, I cling to him. "I am so sorry."

"I was so scared when I saw him," I say, trembling at the memory. I want to cry so bad right now but I do everything I can not to. "Did you find him?" I hold my breath awaiting his answer.

"No, he got away," he softly says. "He really knows his way around here."

"You need to call Dauntless right away and tell them he's been hiding out here," I say, still clinging to him. "He was wearing red and yellow."

"I'll do that," he says. "Tris, will you please look at me?" I let go of him and look into his worried yet apologetic eyes. "When I saw him, I lost it. All I could think about was what he tried to do to you that night and the fact that he put his hands on you ... again." He snarls thinking about the details of my attack. "When our eyes met, that bastard actually _smiled_ at me. All the rage and helplessness I felt that night came back, and I didn't think. I wanted to get my hands on him. I never should have left you. I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Tobias, there's nothing to forgive," I say. "Just don't _ever_ leave me like that again. What if Peter had..." I can't bring myself to finish that thought. He wraps me tightly in his loving embrace once again, and he caresses my hair. I pull him to me needing to feel his closeness. "Let's go upstairs."

"Okay," he says. He reluctantly releases me after another minute, grabs our strawberries off the table, and takes my hand and leads me up to our suite. After he puts the berries in the small refrigerator, he calls Dauntless to update Will and Tori on Peter's whereabouts and instructs them to dispatch guards to hunt him down while I make my promised call to Tyler. He gets so excited when he hears my voice that I have to tell him to calm down. He tells me all about his stay with the Parrish's so far. I hear Stella in the background prompting him with their activities: Movie night Friday, swimming yesterday, and the park and ice cream today. He tells me he loves me and misses me, and he tells me to give Tobias a great big hug from him, at least that's what I _think_ he said. He also asks when we're coming home. He gets a bit upset when I tell him I'll see him in a week but he calms down when I tell him that all he has to do is go to sleep at night seven times and that on the eighth night we'll all be together. When I hear him yawning, I tell him goodnight but before he will hang up, I have to promise to call him every night from now on.

"Thanks again for taking care of Tyler for us, Stella," I say. "Oh, and thanks for letting Four know about the lighthouse. This place is … magical."

"You're welcome for everything, Tris," she says.

"Bye," I say.

"Bye."

"How is he?" Tobias asks after I hang up.

"He seems really happy but he's missing us. I know I miss him," I say with a sigh. "Is it okay if we just go to bed?" He nods at me, and we slowly climb up to the bedroom that I have come to love almost as much as our own. We both strip out of our clothes. I feel Tobias' eyes on me while I slide out of my dress and let it land on the floor. I slip out of my shoes and get up on the bed. He joins me wearing only skimpy black boxer briefs that accentuates his impressive manhood and makes butterflies swarm in my tummy. "Will you please hold me? I always feel better ... safer when I'm in your arms, Tobias."

"Come here," he says. He lies back on the bed with his head propped up on several pillows, and I snuggle up against his side. We wrap our arms around each other tightly, and I tangle my legs with his. "Seeing him today really shook you up, didn't it?" I nod into his chest. We cling to each other not talking for what seems like hours. Actually, it probably is hours. We're watching the lights of the city burning brightly when they suddenly extinguish almost all at once. One minute I feel like a voyeur, observing the lives of countless others, and the next I feel like Tobias and I are the only ones left in this world.

"I should have asked you this sooner but people can't see in here, can they?" I ask.

"The windows are just like ours at home," he says with a chuckle. I feel his lips in my hair. That means we can see out but no one can see in. Good. I can't stomach the thought that Peter has been lurking somewhere, somehow watching our lovemaking.

"I had a wonderful day today, Tobias," I say, looking up into his face. He looks at me skeptically. "I'm not lying. With the exception of running into _him_ , it was wonderful. I'm ... no _we_ are going to forget that ever happened. I loved walking around Amity with you looking at all the booths full of craft items and homemade goodies. Watching that girl make the candles was amazing. I can't believe we found that painting. It's perfect! The food was delicious … even though we _did_ let it get cold. The concert was so relaxing. I was jealous of the musician's for a moment before I reminded myself how good my life is even though I don't have a talent like that." His phone buzzes interrupting our conversation, and he glances at the screen.

"Sorry, it's Will," he says. "I think I need to take this." He answers the phone but says next to nothing. He mostly listens to what Will has to say. "Thank you so much, Will." He hangs up and looks at me with a pleased smile on his now relaxed face. "They got Peter. He apparently has been hiding in the water filtration building on the outskirts of Amity. It looks like he's been there for weeks. He probably ran straight here after Zeke beat him up. They're escorting him back to Dauntless as we speak. They're going to lock him up, and we'll deal with him when we get home." He kisses my forehead. "Now we can relax and enjoy the time we have left on our honeymoon without worrying that we are going to see him again." The weight of the situation lifts when I hear this wonderful news and tears flood my eyes. I don't try to stop these. They are tears of joy. He lovingly caresses my cheek and wipes away the few tears that escape with his thumb.

"Don't worry," I say reassuringly, covering his hand with mine. "They're happy tears for once. I'm so glad he's finally been caught. I was beginning to think he never would."

"I have to be honest, I was thinking the same thing," he says. "It's a relief to know where he is. I knew we wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy ourselves the rest of our time here if he was still out there in Amity someplace."

"I'm glad you didn't do anything to hurt him," I say. "I worried about that when you ran off after him. We've been married for less than a week, and I thought you were going to make me a widow soon." He pulls me closer to him still and kisses away the tears that have gathered in my eyes.

"I really did scare you, didn't I?" he says. "I won't lie, I had murder on my mind when I took off after him, and if I had caught him, he would be dead right now, and I would have made it slow and painful. But I would have regretted it for the rest of my life because that one decision would have taken me away from you, and that is something I never _ever_ want to happen. I love you more than my own life." I back away from him and sit up.

"You can't leave me, Tobias," I say. "You can't do that. I wouldn't survive." He sits up and pulls me to him. He holds my face in his hands and looks at me very intensely.

"I will never leave you. I swear," he says. "I won't allow it." His mouth crashes into mine, and he kisses me aggressively. He lays me back on the bed and covers me with his body. We let our tongues dance a synchronized tango as our hands roam slowly, seductively over each other's body. He moves his mouth to my neck and kisses every sensitive spot twice before he trails kisses to my ravens. After he traces each one with the tip of his tongue, he moves his mouth to kiss all around my lace-covered aching breast. He kisses, licks, nips, and sucks through the fabric making me squirm beneath him. He turns his attention to the other breast and gives it the same pampered treatment making my body ache for him. He finally reaches underneath me and with one swift movement has my bra unhooked and is sliding it off my body, freeing my enlarged, stimulated breasts. He gently lifts each throbbing mound with his hands and buries his face in my cleavage. He kisses every spot and runs his one-day old beard over the sensitive skin, making me moan. He finally captures an erect, aching nipple in his mouth, and I involuntarily arch my body toward the contact. He sucks gently on it for a while, then circles it with the tip of his velvety soft tongue. When I can't breathe right, he actually sucks the nipple up between his teeth and nibbles on it lightly.

"Tobias," I moan, grasping his head and holding him tightly to my chest. He slides his tongue across my chest to my other pregnancy enlarged breast and treats it to the same sweet torture that he just gave the other. By the time he finishes, I'm soaked from head to toe in a thin layer of perspiration, my rapid breath is ragged and shallow, and my soaking wet womanhood is aching for him to fill me. He slowly moves down my trembling body and when he puts his hands on the waistband of my lace boy shorts, anticipation makes it even harder for me to breathe. He slowly pulls my underwear down my legs and off then tosses them away. He kisses the inside of my right knee then moves up and kisses the tender skin of my thigh. I feel his hot, moist breath on my most private area, and I let out a long, intense moan as he dives in. I arch off the bed at the contact and scream with pleasure but he doesn't stop. He wraps his arms around my legs, keeping me still and kisses, licks, sucks, and nibbles all around my entrance and my aching, sensitive nubbin. He grabs the bundle of nerves between his teeth causing me to groan and lightly sucks like it's his last meal. Every muscle in my body tenses and I stop breathing. I come up off the bed, hold his head to me making sure there is no way he can move, then draw in agonized lungful's of air. I scream his name once ... twice ... a third time as orgasm after orgasm surges through me.

"Inside me ... _now_ ... oh my God ... I need you now, Tobias ... NOW!" I manage to say between body-wracking jolts of pleasure. He releases his grip on my legs, moves up my body, and plunges himself into my depths with one driving thrust. I grasp his hips with my knees as he pounds into me with a primal rhythm as old as time. I move with him, meeting each of his powerful thrusts with one of my own. It doesn't take long before I am feeling the familiar stirrings of an approaching release. He increases our frenzied pace even further, and I slip over the edge and scream in fulfilment. He swells further inside me, hot and throbbing, then unloads his passion into my tight depths. I love this moment, the moment when we bring each other to completion. I am wholly his. He is wholly mine. We complete each other. He collapses on top of me and I smile. I don't know why his crushing weight doesn't bother me. Instead, it makes me feel safe, wanted. I wrap my legs around his hips and glide my fingers up and down his back. After a moment he raises up on a forearm, taking the weight off me.

"I love you," he says, his look severe.

"Is something wrong, Tobias?" I ask.

"Did I hurt you?" he asks slowly. I furrow my eyebrows and study his face.

"No," I slowly say wondering why he's asking me this question.

"Are you sure?" he asks. "It seemed like you were in pain. You screamed an awful lot." He's right. I'm not sure what the difference is between home and here except that I try to be quiet because of a toddler sleeping down the hallway. I don't think of myself as a screamer but I feel free to express what's going on in my body when we are making love to each other here. I smile at him, blushing deeply with embarrassment.

"I was thoroughly enjoying myself. _That_ is why I was screaming," I shyly say, hiding my bright red face. "I lost track of how many ... orgasms you gave me. Making love to you hurt only once and that was the first time. Know this, Tobias Eaton, if you _ever_ do something I don't want you to do or don't like or something that hurts, I will let you know immediately and make sure that you stop."

"Thanks for that," he says. "You certainly have become more ... vocal since we got married."

"I wonder if I'll always be this way." I say mostly to myself.

"As long as I know you're just having a good time, I don't mind. It was worrying me but now that I know you're okay, I kind of like it," he says with a sexy smile. "I love you, Tris."

"I love you, too," I say into his ear. "So much." I reach for him, and we make love again. This time isn't slow, sensual lovemaking either. It is need driven, passionate, and slightly rough. It seems like we aren't able to get enough of each other. I wonder if there hadn't been over a six week gap since the last time we made love if the deep need we are feeling for each other would exist. Who am I trying to kid? Of course it would be there. We love each other completely, deeply, passionately, and I know _I_ can't imagine a time when I won't want _this_... want _him_. When the desire goes from a raging fire to a slight simmer, we fall asleep in each other's arms with little more than a long, slow, loving goodnight kiss to cover us.


	39. Chapter 39

"Tris, love, wake up," I hear Tobias say in my ear but I really don't want to wake up. The past two days have been exhausting for me. We haven't stepped foot outside the lighthouse, and we have marked off nearly half the 24 rooms from our "christening" list. Just thinking about it makes me chuckle. Whoever has to clean up after us is going to have one hell of a job. I need to remember to tell Tobias to leave a hefty tip when we go home. By the time we leave, we'll have made love on every bed, in every shower, in every bathtub, and even on the one lonely couch. I giggle again. "What's so funny?" His warm breath sends a shiver down my spine.

"Nothing," I say rolling in his arms so I can look at his handsome face. Every time I see him after an absence, whether we've been apart for hours or just a few minutes, it's like looking at him for the first time. There's a catch in my breath, my heart rate increases, and my stomach tightens. "Good morning."

"Happy birthday, my _beautiful_ wife," he says handing me a small box.

" _Birthday_?" I ask, totally confused. How in the world could I have forgotten that today is my birthday? I remember making note of it when I looked in my file last year, April 13th.

"Yes, it's your birthday. You are officially 17 years old," he says then he makes a little face. "You're getting old." My eyes widen, and I practically tackle him and straddle his hips.

"You need to take that back, right now," I say.

"What are you going to do about it?" he asks teasingly. I narrow my eyes at him and do the opposite of what he thinks I'm about to do. I get off of him, slide out of bed, and head toward the stairs. "Hey, where do you think you are going, birthday girl?" I look over my shoulder to see that he's pouting. "You didn't even open my present."

"You give me too many presents, Tobias Eaton," I say but I turn around and climb back up on the bed. I take the box from him and open it. Nestled in the black velvet lining is an exquisite emerald and diamond ring. The heart-shaped emerald is surrounded by a thin white gold heart with tiny diamonds embedded in it. I look up at him.

"Those are our birthstones. Diamond for April and emerald for May," he says with a smile on his attractive face. I don't have to think about when his birthday is. It's May 6th. I take the ring out of its box and slide it on the ring finger of my right hand. I hold it up to look at it, and the light coming in through the windows catches it and throws prisms all over the bed.

"It's beautiful," I whisper. "Thank you so much." I give him a quick, sweet kiss. "Will we be getting dressed today?" I haven't had a stich of clothes on since Tobias took my bra and underwear off me Sunday night before we made love. I think back to a time when there was no way that we could have been nude around each other for more than a minute or two and now it seems like second nature.

"Unless you want to roam around Amity naked as the day you came into this world, which wouldn't bother _me_ in the least, I would say yes, clothes are necessary," he says with a happy, content gleam in his dark eyes. I run my hand down the side of his face and draw his mouth to mine. I kiss him softly, slowly.

"I love you, Tobias," I say against his mouth. I kiss him a little more before adding, "Thank you for my ring."

"I love you, too, Tris," he says. "Happy birthday, love, and happy one week anniversary."

"I love it when you're so happy," I say staring into his eyes.

"Well that should be all the time then because _you_ make me deliriously happy," he says. I lower my eyes and look at my newest ring.

"When you put your Four mask on you don't always seem happy," I say remembering several transformations. He puts his finger on my chin and tilts my head up until I have to look into his eyes.

"When I become Four, it's usually to protect myself. I know that I should never have to protect myself from you but I'm only human, and I make mistakes. But you _do_ make me happy ... _always_. That will never change." His explanation makes me smile.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" I ask, curiosity getting the best of me.

"We are going to explore Amity," he says. "I've heard of a couple places that are really nice. Why don't you get ready, and I'll pack a picnic lunch."

"Why don't we take a shower _together_ and then we can get ready for the day," I say. "I can keep my hands to myself. I'm doing it right now." I guess walking around the lighthouse naked for days has made is so I don't _have_ to touch him every time I see his perfect, bare, sculpted body but it doesn't mean that I don't want to.

"Okay," he says. "I think that sounds like a good idea." He returns his lips to mine and gives me a quick kiss. We finally drag ourselves out of the oversized, comfortable bed and go down one flight and take a quick shower ... well as quick of one as two people in a tiny shower can take. When we finally finish, we get dressed in comfortable clothes since he let me know there will be some walking. We both chose to wear black sweat pants, a sleeveless black t-shirt, and black and white running shoes. I decide to forgo makeup today and put my hair up in a messy knot while Tobias packs a picnic lunch of turkey sandwiches, potato salad, vegetable salad, and strawberries and fresh sweet whipped cream. He puts the food in a small soft pack cooler and places it and a few bottles of water in a backpack and slings it over his shoulder.

"Ready to go?" he asks.

"I am," I say excitedly. As much as I love staying in and making love to him, I have to admit, it will be nice to get outside. He takes me by the hand, and we walk down the stairs to the garage under the lighthouse.

"We're taking a truck to a certain spot I've heard about then we'll have to walk the rest of the way," he says after he opens the garage door. We get in the ancient faded blue truck ... I'm surprised it actually runs ... and pull out of the lighthouse. He leaves the truck running and closes the door then comes back. We take off down the bumpy road, which is in some desperate need of maintenance that Mel drove us in on the morning after our wedding. We drive until we come to a crossroads and turn left onto the road that will take us into Amity. Just before we reach the faction, we come to a Y in the road and veer off to the right on the clearly unmaintained road and go around the small village. We carefully take this dilapidated road as far as we can, about five miles until we come to a grove of trees. He pulls the truck off onto a small dirt road that I didn't even see until he turned onto it and parks. I get out and look around. A twinge of uneasiness descends upon me. I've never even dreamed about being this far out of the city before. I walk to the front of the truck to meet Tobias, and I wrap my arms around his, still looking around.

"What is it?" he asks, seeing the distressed look on my face.

"Is it safe?" I whisper.

"It sure is," he says kissing the top of my head. I relax at his words. "And I think you'll love it. As far as I know, it's a well-kept secret."

"How did you learn about it then?" I ask as we start hiking through the trees.

"Believe it or not, it was Zeke who told me about this place," he says. That does surprise me. "He dated a fence worker a year before he and Shauna finally got together. That's a story for another time." He smiles down into my face and any residual tension melts away. "He would come to the fence, and she would let him out, which is totally against the rules by the way. They were lucky that they never got caught because that action would have gotten them both immediately thrown out of Dauntless. Anyway, they would look for places to be alone. I would hate to think of how many places Zeke and ... hmm, I don't remember what her name anymore 'christened.' One day they were out wandering and stumbled upon what Zeke called an oasis, which is one of the largest, most complex words to ever cross his lips." We laugh heartily at the expense of his best friend. "When I told him about bringing you to Amity for our honeymoon, he let me in on this secret." We walk for about half an hour over semi rough terrain. He tells me about some more places that Zeke and his mystery ex-girlfriend discovered along the way. We walk through pine trees that reach so high I can't see the tops, yet others are just saplings, barely coming up to our knees. We climb over various-sized rocks protruding out of the earth, and we are careful not to fall over the huge roots providing nutrients to the beautiful trees. We even come to a sharp drop off, and I realize we are walking adjacent to what once was a huge flowing river. Now it's dry like the rivers in the city with the exception of a few puddles from where the rain we had yesterday gathered.

When we come out of the grove, we walk into a haven. Zeke wasn't exaggerating one bit. There is a huge pond filled with dark blue crystal clear water surrounded by a green field filled with white, yellow, purple, and blue wildflowers. There's a run-down house and remnants of what looks like an old barn on the far side of the large pond indicating that at one time a family actually used to live here. There's a large dock leading out into the pond that looks surprisingly sturdy compared to the rest of the ramshackle structures.

"This is amazing," I whisper, still soaking in my surroundings. I turn and look at Tobias, and he's staring, mouth ajar, at the amazing sight in front of us. It's obvious this is the first time he's seen this spot also. I take two steps and lunge at him. He catches me and spins us around.

" _You're_ amazing," he says putting his mouth on mine. We kiss, savoring the closeness of our bodies. I wrap my legs around his waist and grip his body tightly. "Do you want something to eat? I'm starving."

"Me too," I say. I unlock my legs as he bends over to sit me on my feet. He takes the backpack off and pulls a blanket out of one of its compartments and hands it to me. I move closer to the pond and spread the blanket out on the ground in the shade of one of the large trees. The sun is directly overhead beating down on this little meadow making the breeze a touch on the warm side. We sit on the blanket, and he unpacks the picnic lunch he prepared. We eat slowly, savoring each delicious bite. When we get to the strawberries and whipped cream, we take turns feeding them to each other. After every third or fourth bite, we lean into each other and taste the sweet berries on each other's tongues.

"What do you think it was like to live someplace like this?" he asks as I lounge with my head laying on his chest after we finish our romantic, leisurely lunch. I think about his question for a while and realize I have no answer. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I was thinking about living in a place like this," I say. "I can't imagine it. I'm trying. The house reminds me a little of Mom and Dad's place, don't you think." I feel him lift his head.

"Yeah, it does look an awful lot like an Abnegation house," he says.

"We know what living in a house is like but what must it have been like before the Purity War. I know we learned about some of our history in upper levels so that we won't repeat it but they obviously keep a lot from us."

"I can't picture it either," he says. "It would be nice to have this much room for our family, don't you think? Each child could have their own room. There would be more if we added to our family."

"How many kids do you want, Tobias?" I ask, realizing we've never had this conversation before. What if he wants 10 kids?

"I've never thought about it really," he says. "I'd be satisfied with just the two ... or three if we get to adopt Tyler but who knows. A few years from now we might want another baby. What about you?"

"I never really thought about children at all before I met you so I'll be happy with two or six, if that's what we decide," I say.

"You want a brood like Zander and Stella have?" he asks with a chuckle. I roll over and rest my chin on my folded hands that are laying on his chest.

"I'm not sure how many kids we'll have but because we are starting our family so young, I want all the children we do decide to have to be born within the next five to seven years. Then once all the kids are out of the house we can walk around naked and make love when the mood strikes. We won't be too old to still enjoy each other." He starts laughing.

"That sounds like a great plan, Mrs. Eaton," he says still chuckling. I lean up and place my lips to his for a sweet kiss then return to my resting position. "There's something else we need to discuss, love, and I think now is as good a time as any. We really need to come up with a name for our daughter." My heart rate increases at the mention of our soon to be adopted baby girl.

"Do you have any names you like? B's and T's, right?" I ask. He smiles brightly at me. I think he's impressed that I remembered his idea about how to name the children.

"Yeah, I do," he says. "What about you?"

"I've been tossing around a few ideas," I say. "I like the names Bridget, Brennan, Bailey, and Brydie, and I also like Theresa, Thea, Toi, and Taya."

"That is quite a list but I think I can match it," he says, absentmindedly playing with a strand of hair that escaped my messy bun. "I like the name Taylor."

"No," I say interrupting him. "There are way too many Taylor's in Dauntless already and throughout the city for that matter. It's a nice name but we agreed, no popular names."

"You're right," he says. "What about Tessa, Taelyn, Tressa, or Tabitha? I also like the names Becca, Bronte, Brylie, and Bertha?"

"Bertha?" I say, my eyes bugging out of my head looking at him like he quite possibly lost his mind. " _No_."

"Okay," he says with a sarcastic smile, "no Taylor or Bertha. I was kidding about Bertha by the way. I veto Bailey and Theresa off your list."

"Alright," I say. "I like Taelyn, Tessa, and Brylie from your list. What are your favorites from mine?"

"Bridget definitely," he says. "I'm having a hard time choosing between Thea and Taya, probably because they sound a lot alike."

"So, do we throw the rest of the names out?" I ask.

"That sounds good to me," he says. "Where do we go from here? Taelyn, Brylie, Tessa, Thea, Taya, and Bridget. Well with the exception of Bridget and Tessa, it looks like we are leaning toward more unusual names."

"Does that shock you, _Four_?" I ask rolling my eyes at him. He moves and starts tickling my ribs. I roll to the side to get away from his torturous fingers. "Stop, stop, stop! I'm sorry!" I gasp for air as he laughs at me. "It seems to me that we truly like the T names better, so should we just get rid of Bridget and Brylie?"

"It's alright with me," he says with a winning smile. "I guess that means our children will have names that begin with T's."

"Is that what you wanted?" I ask.

"I will admit my favorite name has always started with a T," he say.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I'm not sure it would be fair to tell you," he says. "It might influence your decision."

"Let's see. I really like the names Tessa and Taya," I say.

"So do I," he says, his captivating smile still in place.

"Tessa, huh?" I say.

"Yep," he says. "I absolutely love it."

"You sound like a girl right now, you do realize that," I say with a smirk on my face. He wiggles his fingers back and forth at me and I squeal. "No more tickling! You'll make me pee. Speaking of, your pregnant wife really needs to go." He rifles through the backpack and throws me a package with some toilet paper in it.

"You'll have to squat behind a tree," he says.

"This had the makings of a perfect day before you said that!" I say sarcastically. I get up and go into the grove just out of his line of sight but not far enough to lose my way. I quickly relieve myself and come back to him.

"Feel better?" he says.

"You have no idea," I say. "So Tessa what?"

"Tessa Natalie?" he asks.

"No, that sounds funny," I say. "Tessa Christina. Oh, that sounds even worse." I go through my friends and family but nothing sounds like it goes with the pretty first name.

"How about Tessa Beatrice?" he asks after we've been quite for a while.

"Tessa Beatrice Eaton," I say. I think about it for a moment. "I really like it, Tobias."

"I do, too," he says.

"Tessa Beatrice, get your butt in here," I yell, testing it out. "I think we just named our daughter." Emotion wells up and tears come into my eyes.

"Hey, no tears," he says, wiping away the ones that escape. "This is a happy thing."

"Hormones," I manage to croak. He smiles at me, and I lean my head against him and wait until the tears dry.

"Why don't we do some exploring," he says. "Zeke said the barn isn't safe. Obviously, it's falling down now but he went into the house, and the floorboards are sturdy. He also replaced all the rotten dock boards so we can take a dip later if you want to." So that's why the dock looks more secure than the rest of the buildings.

"We don't have our suits," I say suddenly picking up on what he just said.

"We don't need them," he says with a naughty sparkle in his eyes, kissing me on the cheek and taking off toward the house. Skinny dipping? I've never even thought about doing that. I look around me checking to see if I can spot anyone but we are totally alone. I decide to lower my inhibitions, and I catch up with him just in front of the cracked concrete stairs, which are miraculously still attached to the once yellow painted two-story house. It hasn't seen a new coat in a good hundred years or so, and there is more raw wood than paint. Tobias takes a tentative step and it luckily holds him. He continues up the two other steps and puts his foot on the weathered wrap-around front porch.

"Watch your step," he says holding his hand out to me. I reach out with a shaky hand and take it. "Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you." I slowly and very carefully climb the stairs to stand with Tobias. I look out from the porch and take in the scenery from this perspective.

"I wouldn't mind having this view all the time," I say. He wraps his arm around my waist and looks in the same direction I'm looking.

"This would be something," he says. "I can imagine our children and grandchildren running around playing or swimming in the pond." At his words, I see exactly what he's picturing. I smile up at him, and he slowly lowers his mouth to mine. I turn in his arms, never taking my mouth off his. He pulls me close and thrusts his tongue into my open mouth and mates it with mine.

"Tobias," I moan when he moves his mouth to my neck. I tangle my fingers in his hair. "I thought we were going to explore the house." He straightens up and smiles at me with a sexy gleam in his eyes.

"You're right," he says. He cautiously opens the rough wooden door, and we carefully walk into the dimly lit and very dirty and dusty house. It looks like someone left one day and never came back. Walking through the still furnished living room makes me feel like I'm intruding into someone's personal space. We go into the kitchen, and there's still can goods in the cupboards and moldy, hard as a brick bread on the counter.

"This is unbelievable," I say then I start coughing. I know I shouldn't stay in here long because of the baby. I want a son or a daughter not a dust bunny.

"Look at this," he says. He holds up an old faded photograph he found tucked in between a set of canisters and the wall on the butcher block countertop. In it is a smiling older couple surrounded by several young children. "I'd say these are grandparents and their grandchildren."

"I wonder what happened to them," I say.

"I don't know," he says. "They look too old to have fought in the war but it's obvious they walked away from their home. It's sad really." We snoop around for a while until we've looked over everything on the first floor then go back outside.

"That was interesting," I say wiping the cobwebs I walked through off my arms. "I think I learned more about how people used to live by walking through that house than I did in all the years I attended school."

"Want to take a dip?" he asks as we approach the dock.

"With nothing on?" I ask hesitantly.

"Nothing but water," he says with a sexy grin. I return his smile then roll my eyes at him. He takes his shirt off over his head and tosses it to the ground then moves his hands to the waistband of his sweatpants. I decide to throw caution to the wind and peel my shirt off over my head and put it with his. This action is rewarded with a brilliant smile from my husband. I take my pants off as I watch Tobias reach down and take his boxer briefs off then I take off my bra and panties. He takes my hand, and we run down the surprisingly smooth dock and jump into the cool water. We both come to the surface at the same time and start laughing. The water feels like a gentle caress against my naked body as I swim around. The unseasonably warm spring has made the pond the perfect temperature. It's not cold enough that we freeze, and it's a nice contrast to the warm sunny day. We chase each other around the pond laughing almost constantly. We splash each other while trying to evade the other's assault. When I'm tired of playing, I swim up to him and wrap my arms around his neck. I kiss him soundly, which isn't easy while treading water. He runs a hand over my body and a shiver runs down my spine.

"Let's get out," he huskily says.

"Okay," I say. We swim to the dock, and he gets out of the pond then helps me. The warm breeze brings goose bumps out on my skin, and he wraps his arms around me. I'm sure he means to warm me up but the contact of our wet, naked bodies sends another shiver down my spine from the desire that's building just below my navel. I glance up at him, and he has the same look in his eyes. He sweeps me up in his strong arms and puts his mouth on mine. He kisses me passionately until he lowers himself to his knees while I'm still in his arms then lays me down on our picnic blanket. He lies beside me and starts softly kissing my neck. His left hand slowly moves down my body. He kneads my sore breast gently and I moan. He leans back and moves his hand up to my face. He caresses my cheek as he intensely stares into my eyes.

"I want to make love to you so bad right now," he roughly says, "but I would understand if you would like to go back to the lighthouse. I don't want us going too far if you feel uncomfortable."

"Make love to me … right here," I say, not wanting to stop ... _never_ wanting to stop. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to me. His smiling mouth gently meets mine. We kiss slowly, letting the passion build. He rolls us when I push against his chest. I move my mouth to his neck and kiss the hollow in his throat. "Relax and let me love you, Tobias." He lies back, and I kiss every inch of his damp neck and then move to his shoulders. I love how strong they feel under my small hands and delicate lips. As I move lower on his body, a familiar aching desire begins between my legs and starts spreading outward. I kiss the tattoo that overlies his heart, and I feel his hands on my back.

"I love you," he moans when my lips capture his nipple and suck it into my mouth. I tease the bud until it's hard then I nibble a little bit before swirling my tongue all around it, soothing it. I hear his breathing become increasingly labored.

"I love you," I say as I trail my tongue to his other nipple, which is already distended and wanting my attention. I slowly move my hand down his body and wrap it around his hard manhood. I slowly stroke his length as I wrap my lips around his sensitive, hard bud. He groans at the attention I'm giving his gorgeous body. I play with his nipples for a little while longer then move down his body placing sweet kisses along the way.

"Tris, God, you're _killing_ me," he hoarsely says. I run my tongue up and down his pulsating shaft then take him into my mouth. "Shit. Damn. Oh, God!" He puts his hands on the back of my head as I start moving up and down faster, taking more of him into my mouth. The synchronized rhythm of my mouth, tongue, and hands increases further, and I feel him swell. He groans loudly and thrusts his hips upward in time with my downward lunges. He chants, "Oh, oh, oh," over and over right before he tenses and releases himself with a loud grunt. I continue stroking him with my hand as he fully empties himself down my throat. When I know he's finished, I start kissing my way up his body until I'm lying flat on him, kissing him almost ferociously.

He rolls us until he's on top of me. He takes his time kissing my ear, sticking just the tip in until I'm writhing beneath him. He moves slowly down my body kissing every inch; he kisses my neck, my shoulders, my collar bones, my ravens, and then he stops at my aching breasts. I try to calm my racing heart and slow my ragged breathing but when his tongue slips out of his hot mouth and laps at my throbbing nipple, a jolt of pure pleasure makes me see stars. The warm breeze blowing over my body makes me shiver slightly at the cool sensation everywhere he has been licking but especially my hard, sensitive nipples. I grip his head tightly, and hold him close to my chest. He captures my breast in his hand and strokes it lovingly as he works his tongue around the sensitive peak. When he nibbles lightly, I feel it between my parted thighs. He moves his lips across my heaving chest and takes my other breast in his mouth.

"Oh, God!" I moan. He plays with my nipple until I don't think I can take anymore then slides farther down and settles between my outstretched legs. "I want your mouth on me." I'm not usually this bold but I feel like lava is boiling in my veins and I _need_ him ... _NOW_. He kisses under my breasts, then the bottom of my ribcage. He French kisses my navel then kisses my expanding belly. I move my legs farther apart giving his full access to my aching womanhood. He runs his moist, hot tongue up my opening, stops to suck on the moist folds then slides his tongue across my nubbin and I groan loudly. He kisses my thighs and my pelvic bones then all around my opening. I feel him slowly thrust one finger into my moist entrance and I gasp. He moves his finger in and out slowly while he teases all around the aching bundle of nerves. I tangle my fingers in his hair and grasp him to me. Finally, he enters a second finger into my tight depths and sucks my nubbin into his hot mouth. He nibbles on it gently as he increases the pace he set with his fingers. The heat of the situation has my blood boiling, and I feel the imminent eruption approaching. He sucks on the sensitive flesh like it's the best thing he's ever tasted and I explode. I force his face closer to me as the surge of power arches my body off the ground.

He abruptly removes his fingers from my body and his mouth from the sensitive button. He moves up my body, and while I'm coming down from the heights he just took me to, he gently turns me over onto my tummy. I look at him over my shoulder, my chest heaving.

"Trust me?" he says roughly.

"Always," I say breathlessly. He spreads my legs wide, and I feel him place himself at my moist entrance. He moves his hips forward and slides into me fully with one powerful, steady plunge, and it's unlike any other time we've made love. I gasp at the different sensations I'm feeling. Everything is the same yet completely different. I feel him touching me deep inside, filling me but the sensation seems wrong, not bad just different. He lowers himself so that he is covering me and starts a slow in-and-out pace. He puts his hands over mine and laces our fingers together and kisses the spot beneath my left ear. "Oh, God! It's _so_ good, Tobias." He continues to kiss the side of my neck and my ear as he increases his pace. I move my hips back to meet every one of his powerful thrusts, and it makes me gasp. I feel his need increasing as he quickens the pace even further. He moves back and pulls me up so that I am on my hands and knees. He puts his hands on my hips and thrusts into me, making me cry out with each deep penetration. I hang my head, and he kisses the back of my neck as he pounds in to me over and over again. I feel him mold his body to mine and slide his right hand around and start gently circling my nubbin with his callused finger. My orgasm approaches quickly with his added touch. I'm breathing so hard it actually hurts my lungs. I feel him stretch my walls further, and I know that his orgasm is approaching. I force myself to relax and immediately fall over the cliff that I've been climbing. _"OH GOD, TOBIAS! I'M COMING!"_ My body shivers, shakes, then clamps down on his invading shaft. If anyone is around they are sure to hear my screams of ecstasy. I feel my body clench down further on his invading length, which is pistoning in and out of me at an impressive rate, making him come.

"Oh, oh, _uh_ ," he says in my ear and I feel him release in my depths. He keeps up this pace until he is spent, and then we collapse onto the hard ground, him fully covering my body. He immediately pulls out of me and rolls over, his lungs heaving as he gasps for air. I lay on my tummy trying to catch my breath, too exhausted to move. I turn my head to the right and see that he is staring at me. After our breathing returns to normal, I smile brightly at him and move to kiss him lightly on the lips.

"I love you," I say.

"I love you, too," he says.


	40. Chapter 40

We lie naked on the blanket staring into each other's eyes until we realize that if we don't leave soon we'll be wandering in the grove of trees after dark. Tobias gets up and jogs over to the mouth of the dock on the other side of the pond to retrieve our clothes where we hastily took them off. He carries them back to me, and we get dressed in silence. He picks up the damp blanket, folds it, and tucks it neatly into one of the backpack's pockets then hands me one of the waters. I drink it right down and return the empty bottle to him. He puts it in a side pocket then swings me up in his arms again, surprising me. He kisses me energetically as he starts walking in the direction of our borrowed truck. After he stumbles slightly, I convince him to put me down. He starts to protest but I remind him that he really doesn't want to drop me, not in my condition, and he sits me right down. We walk back to the truck being just as careful as we were on our morning journey but it doesn't seem like it takes as long as it did the first hike. I guess that's because we know where we're going tonight. My stomach starts growling on our way back to the lighthouse, and I feel Tobias' eyes on me.

"Hungry?" he asks.

"Starving actually," I say with a slight blush. "I think I worked off lunch." I hear him chuckling beside me.

"What sounds good?" he asks.

"I know the kitchen probably doesn't have the ingredients but spaghetti and meatballs sounds great," I say with a sigh, my stomach growling loudly once again.

"I know you so well," he says with humor in his voice. "I had the lighthouse keeper get all the ingredients for me so I can make you a nice birthday supper." A smile lights up my face.

"Thank you, Tobias," I say. "Do you have any other surprises?" I look at the beautiful heart-shaped emerald and diamond ring on my right hand.

"Maybe I do," he says with a chuckle.

"Tobias," I say with a sigh. "Do I have to put my foot down? I don't _need_ all these gifts. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate them but you have to stop _spoiling_ me."

"I like spoiling you," he says as we pull up in front of the lighthouse. I slide over next to him.

"You don't have to buy me expensive gifts to say you love me. I _know_ you love me. You show me in so many different ways every day. When you give me jewelry and I haven't given you anything in return or I give you a _shirt_ or something, it makes me feel bad about myself ... that I'm not doing enough to show _you_ how much I love you," I say.

"I had no idea you felt that way," he says reaching out and putting his hands on either side of my face. "I never meant to make you feel bad about yourself. You make me feel loved every single minute of every single day. You don't have to give me gifts. You give yourself to me, which is all I ever want." I raise my eyebrows at him. "I understand, and I'm sorry." He slides one hand down my cheek as the other pulls my mouth to his. He kisses me with a deep need.

"I love you," I say.

"I love you, too," he says. He gets out of the truck and puts the garage door up. I slide over into the driver's seat and pull into the stall, and Tobias puts the door back down. We walk into the lighthouse, and I take the backpack up to our room to unload its contents while he steps into the shower. After he's done, I take a quick shower then I put on a backless, V-neck black halter sundress, put some light makeup on, and style my hair. I start down the stairs when I think about something. I return to the closet in the bathroom and take out my infinity wedding earrings, bracelet, and necklace. He's already given me the gifts, I might as well wear them. I'm still a couple flights from the kitchen when I smell the garlic, onions, basil and tomatoes of the homemade spaghetti sauce, and my stomach lets me know how hungry I am.

"That smells so good," I say as I walk into the kitchen. We both had the same idea and dressed up for dinner. He looks dashing in a pair of black dress pants and a short sleeved black and red pinstripe henley. He turns and looks at me then does a double take and stops stirring the sauce.

"Wow! You look amazing," he says sliding his eyes from the top of my head to the tips of my toes making me blush. I wonder if I will always blush when he looks at me like this.

"You don't look half bad yourself," I say. "What can I do?" He picks me up and sits me on the counter on the left side of the industrial stove.

"It's your birthday," he says. "You don't have to do anything but sit there looking pretty." I smile at his compliment, and he puts his smiling lips on mine and quickly kisses me. I like where I'm sitting watching him work. He is very handy in the kitchen.

"If you don't want to answer this, I'll understand," I say. "Did you cook at home in Abnegation when you were growing up? Your skill level is very impressive. I love watching you cook. I find it very sexy." He takes a deep breath but doesn't look my way.

"I did all the cooking after Evelyn left," he says. "I thoroughly enjoyed it actually. Marcus never once complained about what I fixed, and it really was the only time I wasn't scared of him. They aren't exactly happy memories but they are probably the best ones I have of my father." I watch him for a while, neither one of us saying a word. "You really find this sexy?" I notice he's looking at me out of the corner of his eyes while he's shaping the meatballs.

"Extremely," I say. "I remember a time I practically attacked you while you were making soup."

"I remember that night," he says with a gleam in his darkening eyes. "There was no practically to it. You attacked me in the kitchen and drug me to the couch. You were very aggressive that night." I lean toward him.

"You loved it and you know it," I say.

"I did," he says. "It was the first time _you_ took control, and it was also the first time we made love twice in the same day. I remember it well."

"I remember it too," I say feeling a familiar tingle between my legs thinking about our past lovemaking. "I told you, it's sexy when you cook." I put my lips on is ear. "It turns me on." He turns his head and kisses me deeply, passionately. "Kiss me like that again, and I will be attacking you tonight."

"Promise?" he asks with a wink.

"Tobias Eaton!" I say. "Behave."

"Okay," he says. "I'll behave ... for now." I shake my head at him. He puts the freshly formed meatballs in the oven then cuts the salad up and dresses it. He puts it and the ingredients back into the large refrigerator. He moves over in front of me and runs his hands up my bare legs and under my dress. "Have you had a good birthday?"

"So far," I say with a smile. "But it's still early." I lean up and wrap my arms around his neck. "I'm sure you have another present for me." He looks slightly confused.

"You just told me not two hours ago that you don't want any more gifts," he says. "You're confusing me, Tris." I run my hands down his back and grab his backside and roughly pull him close to me. Then I boldly move my hand between us and cup his manhood, which immediately reacts to my touch.

"I thought maybe you would like to give _this_ to me," I say. I remove my hand and he picks me up and carries us to the table. He sits down on one of the chairs, and I straddle his lap. He kisses me passionately as I slowly grind my hips back and forth over his. He groans into my open mouth. I press my small body into his, and he puts his hands into my hair and pulls my head back exposing my neck. He runs his tongue from my collar bone up to my ear making me moan.

"Tris, love, we really need to stop," he says, his mouth still on my neck. "If we don't, I'm not going to be able to." I'm still moving against him, and I feel him lengthening, hardening. He groans loudly in my ear, and I move back but I don't get off his lap. I slowly lower his zipper, prolonging his agony, and reach into his pants and free his hard, pulsating shaft. I lift my dress and move my panties to the side. I firmly grasp his manhood in my small hand and place him at my entrance then lower myself letting him enter me fully. I move up until he almost slips out of me then let gravity move me back down and start kissing him ferociously, the need overwhelming me. He starts aggressively thrusting his hips upward as I grind my hips downward into his. I quicken our pace and synchronize the rhythm of our love to my tongue in his mouth. We move together fluidly until I feel him stiffen and flood my depths as my body tenses, and I spasm around his length, which is still moving within me. When we stop, I kiss him softly.

"I didn't mean to do that," I say, my lips still moving with his.

"You lie," he says with a chuckle. I move off his length and straighten my clothes as he resituates himself.

"Maybe," I say. "I warned you though, Tobias. When I watch you cook, I'm the one who heats up. I'm going to go freshen up." I turn to go use one of the bathrooms on the first floor of the tower. I look over my shoulder at him. "That was fantastic by the way, and we just crossed off room 21."

"Go clean up, Mrs. Eaton," he says. "Maybe after supper we can have round number three." I move back to him, throw my arms around his neck and draw his mouth to mine. I kiss him passionately until we both are gasping for air.

"Have I ever told you that when you call me Mrs. Eaton I have the strongest desire to rip off all your clothes?" I ask with a coy smile.

"I'll remember that, _Mrs_. _Eaton_ ," he says right before his mouth collides with mine again.

"I need to clean up," I say after I finally manage to pull myself away from him. He lets me go, and I run up the stairs. I clean myself up and am back downstairs in less than five minutes.

"You're beautiful," he says when he sees me walk into the room. He comes up to me and lightly kisses my neck and sighs.

"If the timer goes off while I'm gone, will you take the meatballs out of the oven and put them in the sauce?" he asks.

"Of course," I say. He flies up the stairs, and I sit down at the table. I get my phone out to call Tyler.

"Hello," Stella says on the other end of the line.

"Hey, Stella," I say. "It's Tris."

"Tris! Happy birthday," she says surprising me. I wonder how she knew when _I_ forgot.

"Thanks," I say. "How did you know?"

"Four told us before you guys left," she says. "We just got done with supper. I'm afraid Tyler went to the arcade with Avery, Zane, and the twins. He's going to be sorry he missed your call."

"How is he really doing?" I ask. Stella and I haven't had an in-depth conversation since the honeymoon started. We've only said a few words then I talk to Tyler.

"He is doing very well but he misses you like crazy," she says. "And Four, too. He keeps asking when he'll see you again. He's been no trouble whatsoever."

"We took too long of a honeymoon," I say with a sigh.

"No, you didn't," she sternly says. "You two deserve time to yourselves. He'll be fine. He's a very happy boy and a joy to have around the house."

"You're so kind to keep him for so long while we're away," I say. "I never asked about his visit with Evelyn on Monday. How did that go?" There is silence on the other end of the phone. "Stella? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I am," she slowly says. "Four's mother is something else, isn't she?"

"What did she do?" I say with a sigh.

"The entire 30 minute visit she made small ... passive aggressive is the only way I know how to describe it ... comments to Tyler and me," she says sounding almost apologetic. "He would hardly look at her and when he did, it was with a huge frown on his little face. I've never seen him look so unhappy. I honestly thought you were exaggerating when you said he's struggling with seeing his mother again. Think about this, he would rather sit on _my_ lap than on hers – his own mother."

"He sat on her lap? That's progress," I say with an ache in my heart and a twinge of jealousy. Then guilt descends on me unlike it has ever before. I have to remind myself I have no right to be jealous of his relationship with his mother.

"She practically forced him to sit on her lap for a couple minutes but he was restless the entire time," she says. "He got down the moment she let him and came running over to me. She gave me a very hateful look." I can picture the one Stella is talking about. I've seen it numerous times myself.

"She was just jealous," I say. "She doesn't like that he has gotten so close to me and Four."

"I'd say she's definitely jealous of you," she says. "She doesn't speak very kindly of you. Does your husband know his mother treats you that way?"

"Yeah, he does," I say with a groan. "She especially is jealous of my relationship with Tyler." Tobias comes back into the kitchen just as the timer for the meatballs goes off.

"A woman named Sheila talked to me about Tyler," she says.

"What did she want to know?" I say.

"She asked my opinion of his care and wellbeing in your custody," she says. "She asked if I had witnessed a change in him. She also asked a lot of questions about you and Four." I know I probably shouldn't but I do it anyway.

"Did she say anything about adoption?" I quietly ask. Tobias looks over his shoulder at me and furrows his eyebrows.

"You know about that?" she asks sounding relieved. "I didn't think I should mention that but yes she asked me my opinion of you and Four adopting Tyler. She asked if I thought you were _suitable_. Of course, I told her _yes_. You two are wise beyond your years and the most caring people I've met at Dauntless ... in the city, and that is exactly what I told her. Tyler loves you and after witnessing his interaction with his mother I also told her that I didn't think Evelyn was the right person for him to be with."

"Thank you, Stella," I say, fighting back tears. "We appreciate it. I have to go. Four is putting dinner on the table. Tell Tyler we love him and miss him terribly. I'll call again tomorrow night. Thanks again ... for everything." I switch off my phone and set it aside.

"I take it you didn't get to talk to Tyler," he says as he puts the last platter of food on the table in front of me.

"No," I say. "He went with Avery, Zane, Nash, and Nya to the arcade. I miss him terribly, Tobias."

"I do too," he says. "I didn't know I would this badly though. It's like a piece of me is missing."

"That's exactly how I feel," I say.

"Do you want to go home early?" he asks sitting down in the chair next to mine. We have four nights and an additional morning left here, our own personal paradise.

"As much as I miss him, I can't stand the thought of giving up our alone time and leaving here," I say. "Is that selfish of me?"

"If you're being selfish then so am I," he says. "We need this time just the two of us. I want to stay here with you. I want to talk, laugh, play, make love."

"Right now," I say running my hand suggestively down his chest and resting it on his inner thigh, "I want to eat." I smile widely at him, and we laugh heartily together. I lean forward and kiss him passionately but quickly.

"Keep kissing me like that and you're not going to get any food because I'll carry you up six flights of stairs and make love to you again." I lean forward and look him squarely in the eyes.

"Feed me, Tobias," I say just as my stomach rumbles loudly.

"Okay, okay!" he says. "You don't have to ask again." He dishes up some spaghetti and places it on both plates then tops it with plenty of meatballs in the rich tomato sauce. Then he gives us both a bowl of salad and a piece of garlic bread.

"Sheila called while you were upstairs earlier," he says looking at me. I can tell he's debating whether to tell me what he knows. "From what I overheard of your conversation, I take it she talked to Stella about us."

"Yeah," I say, "she did. What did she tell you, Tobias?" My heart starts hammering in my chest.

"One decision has been made," he says. "Evelyn's parental rights are being terminated by the city. It doesn't matter how many children she gives birth to, they will all be given up for adoption from now on. Sheila told me the main reason they are doing so is because she is factionless and can't care for children properly but she also told me that she doesn't like her influence on Tyler. She thinks we are better candidates for giving Tyler the love and upbringing he deserves." My fork slips out of my hand and clatters on the plate.

"Is he going to be ours?" I whisper, emotion taking over.

"When Ethan Black signs over his parental rights, we will be Tyler's parents," he says with a bright smile on his face. I start sobbing. He pulls me onto his lap. I wrap myself around him and cry into chest making his shirt wet. I can't believe that my dreams have come true, and I finally get to call myself Tyler's mother. The wording sounds so right but more importantly, it _feels_ right. When the tears finally stop, I kiss Tobias passionately. He moves his mouth to my neck, and my stomach growls and we both start laughing. I move back to my chair after giving him another quick kiss.

"I love you," I say. "I can't believe this is happening. He's actually going to be ours."

"I know," he says. "This news couldn't have come on a better day. Happy birthday, love. You were right, I had one more birthday present for you."

We eat slowly, savoring each wonderful bite talking more about Tyler. We decide not to say anything to him until all the paperwork has been finalized, and then when he is officially Tyler Aaron Prior-Eaton, we will tell him.

After a few minutes the conversation drifts on to another subject, cooking in Abnegation. We both, at times, miss the simple foods and actually prefer them in certain situations, like when we're under the weather. He confides in me that Evelyn taught him early on all the basics when it came to cooking, and that Marcus never stepped foot in the kitchen. He elaborates on the happy feelings he has associated with cooking and tells me he would slow cook everything, extending the amount of time he spent in the kitchen. That was the only time he felt safe in Marcus' home. I notice that he never calls the house he grew up in _his_ home, it's always his father's. It makes my heart ache for him, and I silently pledge to always give him the home he deserves.

When we finish the wonderful birthday dinner, I volunteer to help him clean up the kitchen but he won't hear it. He lifts me up and sits me down where I sat earlier, and I watch him move around the kitchen, cleaning everything up. When he puts the last dish in the dishwasher, he turns the harsh overhead lighting off and comes to me and helps me down off the counter. I hold my hand out to him and lead him up the six flights of stairs to our bedroom on the top level. When we reach the bed, I pull him to me. I kiss him passionately for a time.

"I would like one last birthday present from you tonight, Tobias Eaton," I say. "Will you please make love to me?" He picks me up and lays me down in the middle of the bed and lies down beside me. He kisses me slowly. I feel his feather light touch roaming over my body and goosebumps appear on my flesh as a shiver runs down my spine. He reaches up and unties the ties of my halter neckline and pulls it down, exposing my lingerie-covered chest for him to play with. He covers one breast with his tender touch and kneads gently. He moves his mouth to my neck and kisses around my left ear. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of his lips moving against my sensitive skin. He moves away from me and pulls my dress down and off of me, leaving me in only my bra and underwear. I sit up and pull his shirt off over his head then push him back. I move my sure hands to his waistband and unbutton his pants and move them down his hips until they are laying on the floor with the rest of our discarded clothes. I cover his body with my own, and he immediately rolls so that he is lying on top of me again. He moves his hands over every inch of my body as his lips follow along. My hands are clutching at his back, trying to get him to move closer to me still. When he first laid me on this bed, I thought I wanted him to go slow but as the passion reaches the boiling point I start tugging at his underwear. He looks into my eyes.

"Tobias! _Now!_ I need you inside me _now,_ " I say. He reaches down and removes his underwear then slides mine off. He lays down on top of me and enters me swiftly with one driving thrust. I moan with deep satisfaction when I feel him fill me fully. He starts kissing me passionately as we move together with a synchronized rhythm. He wastes no time increasing the tempo. He lowers himself fully so I can feel his entire weight, rocking against me over and over. I meet his deep penetrating thrusts with ones of my own increasing our shared pleasure. He speeds his driving thrusts further, and I moan with pleasure. He moves his mouth to my neck and lightly suck on the sensitive spot directly below my left ear, and I feel the familiar ache of my approaching release.

"God, I love you," I hear him say in my ear right before he leverages himself on his arms and speeds his pounding. I feel like an explosion moves through my body, starting where we are joined and moving rapidly outward.

" _TTTOOOBBBIIIAAASSS!_ " I scream as I spasm around his pistoning shaft. I arch my back, and every muscle in my body tenses as I feel him grab ahold of my hips, abruptly stop moving, and empty himself into me with a deep moan. I flop back on the bed, my release finally calming, and he collapses on top of me. He lies there panting in my ear for a moment before he rolls us so that I'm lying in his arms. I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him hard. He thrusts his tongue through my parted lips into my waiting mouth and mates it with mine. "I'm sorry. I wanted to go slow and make it last a long time but I wanted you too much. I couldn't wait. Do you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Tris," he says with a sigh, kissing my forehead. I yawn into his chest, exhausted from the day's activities including making love three times. I'm really going to miss this when we get back to the real world and we aren't able to be with one another for days at a time. "Why don't we get some sleep? We had a big day. We still have tomorrow or the middle of the night or the morning. You know we'll make love again and soon." He moves his mouth to mine, and I feel him smiling against my lips. "Happy birthday, Mrs. Eaton. I hope all your dreams came true."


	41. Chapter 41

"Tobias?" I whisper in his ear. "Are you awake?" I can see and hear his breath steadily moving in and out of his lungs indicating he's still deep asleep, which doesn't surprise me. We spent yesterday doing nothing but making love – we have now "christened" each room in the lighthouse – and today we were out most of the day exploring the outskirts of Amity. The best thing we found by far was the old homestead by the pond that we hiked to on my birthday but today we came across remnants of an old farm with barns, rusted out machinery, empty grain bins, a huge windmill missing two blades so it can no longer turn, and a shell of an old two-story house that was almost as exciting; a small ghost town full of dilapidated houses, empty storefronts lining a long-abandoned main street, a run-down old water tower with lettering so faded I couldn't make out the name of the old town, and a train depot with a rather large locomotive sitting abandoned in front of it farther out than we really were supposed to go; and large metal signs along the broken down roads with faded advertisements for things Tobias and I neither one have heard of before like Coca-Cola, McDonalds, Bud Light, and others. We came straight home, crawled into bed, not even taking time to eat, and fell directly asleep.

I carefully roll over making sure I don't disturb my sleeping husband and get out of bed. Thinking of him that way tightens my tummy with excitement and love. I've been awake for about an hour turning an idea over and over in my head. I slowly descend the stairs and head into the bathroom. I take a quick shower, washing off the long day then rummage through my lingerie. I'm surprised to see he packed the see-through lacy red bra and boy shorts set I bought especially for Valentine's Day. Well maybe I'm not that surprised! He must have had a thought similar to mine because it seems perfect for my plan. I put on the sexy lingerie then look at the rest of the clothes in the tiny closet. Nothing seems quite right so I put on a pair of comfortable black yoga pants and a black and red pinstriped, long-sleeved button-down shirt of Tobias'. I roll up each sleeve a couple times until my hands are free, and I button the three middle buttons, which is adequate to cover me. I examine the shoes that he packed, and I put on the black open-toed 3-inch pumps embellished with black faux crystals I wore to the Dauntless Welcome Party that always seems to turn him on like no other. I switch off the light and slowly open the door and peek out but he's, thankfully, still upstairs asleep. I look through the small mini fridge to see if there is anything that looks good but I don't find anything. I go down to the communal kitchen and look through the big refrigerator and find our left over spaghetti and meatballs and Caesar salad. I'm about ready to close the door when I spot the still fresh strawberries we picked on Sunday, some whipped cream, and chocolate sauce. I gather it all and put it in a basket. I search through the drawers and cupboards until I find a pencil, a pad of paper, an ice bucket, and a bowl and put them in the basket along with the food. I go back up to our suite and put the food in the fridge and relax on the couch with the pad and pencil. I let my mind wander and write down everything that comes to me. When I'm satisfied with everything I've done, I put some of the black cherry votive candles Tobias bought at the street fair and matches in the basket and head up to the bedroom. I immediately see he's still asleep so I hide the basket of goodies behind the bed.

"Tobias," I say with my lips up against his ear. "Wake up." He groans and rolls over. I lay across his chest and start kissing his neck. "Are you going to wake up?"

"I'm awake," he says, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "By the way, you can wake me up like this any time you want." He gently grabs my face and pulls my lips to his and kisses me passionately. I moan when he thrusts his tongue past my parted lips. Before the desire starts to boil over, I move away from him.

"Are you hungry? Because I'm starved," I say. "I went downstairs and got the leftovers."

"Yeah, I am," he says, sleep still thick in his voice. "It's hard to believe we haven't eaten since breakfast."

"I'll tell you what, why don't you take a shower while I heat up the food," I say.

"That sounds like a plan," he says. I kiss him quickly then roll off of him.

"What in the world are you wearing?" he asks. I look down at myself and shrug.

"Just something I threw together," I say. We get out of bed, and I follow him downstairs. When he goes into the bathroom and I hear the shower turn on, I quickly run back upstairs and place the candles on the wooden shelf that wraps around the perimeter of the room then light them. The scent is delicious and reminds me just how hungry I really am. I quickly tear the sheets of paper apart and place the small slips in the wooden bowl and set it on the narrow console table in front of one of the large floor-to-ceiling windows that make up the walls of the old lantern room then I run back downstairs and put the spaghetti and meatballs on the stove to warm, set the table, and dress the salad then put it back in the fridge. While it's heating, I get a bottle of cider out of the wine rack and put it in the ice bucket then fill it with ice to chill. I arrange the few strawberries we have left on a plate and grab the chocolate and whipped cream and put them in the ice bucket along with the cider to keep them cold. I grab two champagne glasses and take them, the strawberries, and ice bucket up to our bedroom and put them on the table. Tobias is coming out of the bathroom just as I come back into the room. I grab him and kiss him passionately trying to disguise my slight shortness of breath from running all over the lighthouse in such a short amount of time.

"Did you have a nice shower?" I ask as I let him go, totally breathless now.

"I did," he says panting, eyeing me funny. "What have you been doing?"

"Just making supper," I say, not quite ready to let him in on the secret. I take the hot spaghetti and meatballs off the stove, get the Caesar salad out of the fridge and make a plate for each of us. I set them on the small table and finally sit down so that I can eat and relax.

"You're keeping a secret from me," he says.

"Am I?" I say with a coy smile.

"You are, Mrs. Eaton, and I'm not sure I like it," he says.

"Tobias," a loud sigh escapes my lips before I can stop it, "I have a surprise for you after super," I say rolling my eyes at him. "Let's call it a belated wedding gift."

"You said no more gifts," he says quite seriously.

"Oh, that only pertains to _you_!" I say with a grin and he furrows his eyebrows at me. "Plus I didn't _buy_ you anything. I'll make you a deal. You can give me as many gifts as you like as long as you don't spend any money on them. How does that sound?"

"That sounds quite generous of you," he says. We are quiet for a time eating the wonderful meal. "I can't believe we have to go home in a couple days. The time has gone so fast."

"I know," I say, sadness bubbling up. "I've had a wonderful time."

"So have I," he says. "We didn't have to make love once, and I still would have had a great time because I'm with you."

"How did you get to be so romantic?" I ask.

"I told you, it's you," he says leaning over the table and kissing me softly.

"I'm glad we did make love though, Tobias," I say being the one who is serious for a moment. "I feel like _me_ again."

"I'm so glad to hear that. There was a time I was extremely worried about you. I even went to Isobel and asked what I should do. She told me to give you time and that's what I did, and I have my Tris back," he says, reaching out across the table to hold my hand. "So are you going to tell me what you've been up to?" I laugh at his insistence. I don't think he likes surprises.

"Not quite yet," I say. "Let's clean up the kitchen, brush our teeth, and then I'll tell you everything."

"Okay," he says. He gathers up the plates and puts them in the small dishwasher while I put the remaining spaghetti and meatballs and salad in bowls and put them in the mini fridge. He goes to the bathroom and brushes his teeth while I wipe off the countertops and the table. "You're turn." I brush my teeth and rinse my mouth out with minty mouthwash then return to the small living room and find him sitting on the couch. I straddle his lap and put my lips on his and kiss him slowly, softly, sensually. "Will you tell me what you're up to ... _please?_ "

"I woke up a bit earlier than you did, and I watched you sleep," I say starting to tell him my idea. "You are so damn good looking, it literally took my breath away. I was thinking about everything I wanted to do to you when you woke up and an idea popped into my head. How about a little game of Candor or Dauntless?"

"Just the two of us?" he says skeptically. "How's that going to work?"

"Believe me, if this goes anything like I imagine it will, you'll never be satisfied with the plain old boring game we play with our friends ever again," I say with a seductive smile turning up my lips.

"Okay, I'm officially interested," he says.

"Take me upstairs then," I say. I tightly wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he easily stands up like my added weight isn't a hindrance. He moves his hands to cradle my behind and molds his mouth to mine. He slowly kisses me all the way up to the bedroom. When we get to the top of the stairs, the soft, delicious scent of black cherry hits us in the face. He breaks away from our kiss and gasps softly taking in the romantic ambiance of the room. I release my legs and slowly slide down his body until I'm standing on my feet. I walk across the room and retrieve the wooden bowl from the small table and carry it back to him. "The rules are a little different from our normal game. We will each take turns picking a truth or dare out of this bowl." I hold the bowl up. "When it's my turn to choose, you have to do whatever I say, and I have to do whatever it is that you tell me to do. Some will be simple questions to answer, other's ... not so much. Some will be simple tasks and other's will be full-fledged dares. But the biggest difference is there's no refusing." I take Tobias by the hand and lead him to the bed. I put the bowl down on the small console table and he helps me move it and all its contents to the foot of the bed. It actually looks like a natural place for it. "Do you want to play?" I run my hand down his chest and stomach and rest it on his waist. He smiles at me.

"Yeah!" he says. "Definitely!"

"You go first," I say excitedly. He reaches into the bowl and pulls a piece of paper out of it. He unfolds it and raises his eyebrows then looks at me with nothing less than lust in his beautiful dark blue eyes.

"Would you rather have sex with the lights on or off?" he asks, his voice sounding husky all of a sudden. Good! That is one of the easier questions I came up with. I don't even blush.

"On," I say. "I love looking at you."

"What do I do with this?" he says holding up the piece of paper.

"Just sit it beside the bowl," I say. "My turn." I pull out a piece of paper and read it. "Feed me a strawberry out of your mouth." I look at him seductively as I toss the paper with the other one. He picks up a nice juicy berry and puts it in his mouth. He raises his eyebrows at me then slowly moves his mouth to mine. I take a bite out of the strawberry and then another and finally he shoves the rest of it in my mouth using his tongue. He keeps his lips near mine as I eat it then he kisses me softly.

"That was ... good," he says licking his lips, which makes my stomach tighten. Then he reads from another paper, "Take off a piece of clothing."

"That one goes back in the bowl," I say. "I only wrote it down once." I think about what I have on, and I decide on the stretchy yoga pants. I'm not ready to reveal what I have on underneath this shirt and he loves the shoes too much. I put my hands on the waistband of my pants and slowly lower them, bending at my knees and waist as I go, never taking my eyes off of Tobias until I can step out of them. I pick them up off the floor and toss them in his face. I crawl across the bed and laydown in a seductive pose. He swallows sharply and his eyes glaze over. Another idea pops into my mind to save for a later date. I choose a slip of paper and immediately blush when I read it. "Would you rather give oral sex or get it?" He stares into my eyes. It sure does seem like it's taking him a long time to answer.

"Give it," he roughly says, slightly surprising me. I thought being a guy he would say get it. "I love everything about it but I especially love the moment you come. I don't know how to describe it but it makes me feel like a real man." I stare into his face and watch his pupils dilate right before my eyes signaling that the game it doing exactly what I wanted it to, turn us on. He reads another slip of paper and chuckles. "This is a good one. Do you check me out as I walk away?"

"Of course," I say with no hesitation, a bright smile on my face. "I also check you out when you're coming at me. I don't discriminate!" I just realized that this game is helping us do something we both loathe, talk about sex. I guess that makes it a win-win situation. I draw another question out of the bowl. "Is there one place I could kiss or touch that would make you instantly aroused?"

"Yeah, just under my right ear but I think you know that already," he says. "I wasn't kidding at the wedding when I told you not to start something we couldn't finish. That simple little kiss had me hard instantly." My eyes widen. Why don't I know this? "I swore that everyone could see that I was walking around aroused. It was very embarrassing." My breath catches in my throat. I roll over on the bed and move to the edge. I beckon him to me with my finger. When he's standing right in front of me, I slide my body up the front of his and glide my hand down until it lands on the sizable bulge in his pants then I lightly place my lips on the spot we are talking about, and he doesn't disappoint. I feel him lengthen and swell beneath my touch. "You're killing me, Tris."

"I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not," I say, gently squeezing the bulge beneath my hand as I kiss his neck.

"Tell me a sexual fantasy you have," he roughly says. His question snaps me out of my passion cloud, and I take my hand off him as I look into his eyes. I automatically drop my eyes thinking about the one and only fantasy I've ever had. Is it _still_ my fantasy? I had hoped _he_ would get this question.

"I'm not sure ..." I start to say but he interrupts me.

"You are the one who made the rules," he says. "No refusals, remember." I'm quiet for a time, hoping I can get through this without breaking down. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"I've only had one fantasy but I'm not sure I feel the same way anymore," I say opening my eyes and looking into his soulful eyes. He furrows his eyebrows at me. "It goes something like this, Tobias. We are in the ... training room," the minute those words cross my lips he understands my hesitancy and his look turns apologetic, "and we finish our training session early. You walk over to the door, lock it, turn the overhead lights out, and walk slowly back to me, a look of lust in your eyes. We start kissing and slowly running our hands all over each other's bodies. We remove each other's clothes unhurriedly and proceed to make love right on the mat in the middle of the room." Surprisingly, I can picture it all and a smile crosses my lips. The thought doesn't give me any anxiety at all. It actually excites me. "I think it's still a fantasy, Tobias, just not one that I would be able to fulfil any time soon, if ever."

"I'm glad you shared it with me," he says caressing my face. Another idea pops into my mind that widens my eyes.

"I have an idea, Mr. Eaton," I say leaning toward him. He puts his arms around me. "I want each of us to make a list of our favorite places in Dauntless and around the city, and I want us to ... 'christen' those spots like we did with the rooms here in the lighthouse." He starts laughing.

"That sounds like a wonderfully naughty idea, Mrs. Eaton," he says. "You don't have to ask me twice. Is it your turn or mine?" I have to think. I draw a slip out of the bowl.

"Take off a piece of clothing," I say. He releases me from his arms and peels his shirt off over his head as I toss the suggestion back in the bowl and shake the paper around to mix up the questions.

"What is your favorite position?" he says.

"Until Wednesday, I would say you on top of me," I say. "I also thoroughly enjoy being on top but when you took me from behind on my birthday, I thought I was going to lose it. That was the best ... greatest ... I can't explain it. It was _mind blowing_ for me, Tobias. I would do it that way all the time except I would miss looking in your eyes." I slide my hand down his face, and he takes it in his and kisses my palm.

"I had no idea you like it that much," he says. He leans down and puts his forehead on mine. "I really liked it too."

"What do you think I look best in," I say.

"That's easy, nothing at all," he says with a sexy grin, his eyes glazing over as he looks me up and down. He picks another slip of paper out of the bowl and reads, "Oh, take a piece of clothing off. See, I really like you naked." He throws the paper back in the bowl, and I slowly unbutton the three buttons holding the shirt on my body, never taking my eyes off his. I let it slide off my shoulders and land at my feet. I'm carefully watching his face as I reveal the see through red lingerie. A low growl comes from deep within his throat. He pulls me into his arms and kisses me ferociously. I feel his straining bulge somehow grow even larger and a moan escapes my now parted lips as he kisses my neck. I reach down and take what turns out to be a dare out of the bowl.

"Put whipped cream anywhere on my body and lick it off," I roughly say. I put that one back in the bowl also because that sounds like fun. I point towards the ice bucket, and he gets the can of whipped cream. He has a sex starved, naughty look on his face as he leads me to the side of the bed and instructs me to lie down. My heart starts pounding in my chest as he looks my body up and down. He turns the can upside down and sprays a lot of whipped cream into my navel. The contrast between the cold treat and the heat of my body sends shivers up and down my spine. He reaches over and puts the can down on the console table then lowers his head and licks the sweet cream out of my bellybutton with his tongue, and a shudder moves through my entire body. It takes him a couple more laps with his tongue until he has all the sticky goodness cleaned up and when he's done, my core is throbbing with want. He reaches into the bowl and smiles.

"Take an article of my clothing off only using your teeth," he says. I look at him and smile. I must admit, I wished I would get this one. I sit up, slightly breathless, and slide to the edge of the bed.

"Come a little closer, please," I say. I put my hands behind my back and put my mouth just above the waistband of his pants. I kiss his bare skin before I stick my tongue between the knit fabric and his skin and grasp it with my teeth. I move my head down and the front of his pants come with me but I'm having trouble with the back. He cheats a little and helps me move them down. I look up at him with scolding eyes.

"Hey, you didn't say _I_ couldn't use my hands," he says holding his hands up, cheerfully watching me struggle. Once I get them passed his hips, they pretty much fall to the floor, and he steps out of them. I then put my hands on his legs and kiss my way back up his body, even kissing his clothed bulge making him gasp loudly. I pull the next truth or dare out and smile.

"Use your hands on me for 1 minute," I say. He picks me up and lays me down on the bed.

"Anywhere?" he asks.

"Anywhere you would like to place your hands," I say. He doesn't waste any time. He moves my panties to the side and enters my wet womanhood with one finger, making me gasp. After the third or fourth stroke he adds a second. I arch my body towards his exploring fingers and pull his mouth to mine. He adds a soft circular motion with the pad of his thumb on my nubbin, and I groan deeply from the sudden stimulation.

"How will we know when it's been one minute?" he asks, his mouth moving against mine as his fingers are sliding quickly in and out of my body bringing me closer to a sweet climax. I never thought of that.

"I'm sure it's been a minute," I groan. He abruptly stops and removes his fingers from me making me whimper, leaving me incredibly aroused and feeling incredibly empty.

"Oh, my!" he says looking at me. I haven't moved. I'm still sprawled out on the bed, my heaving chest finally slowing. "Would you like me to tie you up one day then have my way with you?" I know I wrote this question but I honestly have no answer to it. I close my eyes and decide to say the first thing that comes to mind.

"I'm not opposed to it but it isn't something I'm dying to do," I say slowly opening my eyes and looking up at him. "What do you think of the idea?"

"Like you, the idea hasn't really crossed my mind but it isn't something I would say absolutely no to," he says. "Do you think we are adventurous enough for that?"

"I don't know," I say. "Maybe. It's something we can talk about later if we want. Let's see." I lean up on my elbows, pick out another slip of paper, and read it. "If you were the opposite sex for 24 hours, what part of your body would you touch the most?" This one makes me smile, and I'm glad he's the one answering.

"I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off my boobs," he says with a laugh of his own. His eyes glaze over thinking about what every guy loves so much ... breasts, and I shake my head at him. "Kiss me using no tongue for 1 minute." I have him sit on the side of the bed, and I crawl to him and sit sideways on his lap, wrap my arms around his neck, and place my lips softly to his. I move my lips with his making sure that my tongue stays put in my mouth. I love kissing him. If I didn't absolutely have to do other things on a daily basis I would spend my days leisurely kissing him. I pull away when I know a minute has passed.

"Does a massage arouse you?" I ask, still sitting on his lap looking into his lust-filled eyes.

"It has," he says, "but not every time. I don't know why." He draws another piece of paper. "Do you prefer morning sex or nighttime sex?"

"If I had to choose, I think I prefer making love to you in the morning," I say. "Would you rather be on top or on the bottom?" He smiles widely.

"Can I say both?" he asks. I shake my head at him. "Fine. Let's see. On top. Would you rather try out new and crazy kinky sex ideas or have romantic sex with me?"

"I would rather have romantic sex," I say. I take another slip and read it, "Do you think I'm a good kisser?"

"Even though I've never kissed anyone else, yes, I _know_ you are the best kisser in the world," he says

"Funny, I thought _I_ was kissing the best kisser in the world," I say with a chuckle.

"What is your favorite part of my body?" he says. I look into his eyes and get lost like I do so many times and the truth falls out of my mouth.

"You may find this hard to believe but it's your eyes," I say breathlessly, caressing his face. "I swear I can see into your soul." He grabs me and kisses me passionately. I let his hands roam freely over my body and by the time he's done, my breasts are aching with want and the aching desire has localized between my thighs. "What is your favorite part of foreplay?"

"I love feeling your mouth on me," I say with a slight blush. "It doesn't matter if it is on my lips ... my neck ... my breasts ... nipples ... or you're simply giving me oral sex. I love it _all_." I draw another slip of paper and grin. "Take off an article of clothing."

"Is it fair for me to be sitting here buck ass naked and _you_ still have your bra and underwear on?" he says. I get off his lap and he stands up. He slowly lowers his underwear down his hips then down his legs leaving him bare and very aroused.

"It might be if my lingerie wasn't completely see through," I say, rolling my eyes at him. My mouth goes instantly dry when I see his beautiful body in the buff. I'm not sure I've ever seen him as aroused as he is right now. I let my eyes roam over every inch of him.

"Lick and kiss my ear for one minute," he says with a groan. I push him down on the bed and crawl up his body letting mine just barely graze his until I'm lying beside him on the right side of course. I start kissing and licking all around his ear teasing him. He grabs handfuls of my hair and the sheets while I play with one if the most sensitive spots on his body. He groans and grasps my hair tighter making me gasp. I quit as quickly as I start. I'm kind of surprised that didn't send him over the edge, which would be something to see ... making him climax without actually touching his erection.

"Would you rather cuddle or fall right to sleep after sex?" I say.

"I definitely like to cuddle," he gruffly says. "If you had x-ray glasses on right now, what part of my body would you be looking at? That one would be better if I actually had clothes on."

"I'll still answer it," I say blushing like a tomato. "Your penis."

"The blush tipped me off in case you were wondering," he says with a sexy smirk. I playfully slap his chest.

"Is there a position we haven't tried that you would like to try?" I say, reading off the slip of paper I drew.

"Yes," he says then silence descends upon us.

"Are you going to let me in on the secret?" I ask.

"One day I might," he says.

"Tobias!" I moan.

"Fine," he says. "How about I just show you."


	42. Chapter 42

Excitement moves through me at an alarming rate. Our little game of naughty Candor or Dauntless seems to be a big hit. I can tell by the hungry look in his eyes that he's just as turned on right now as I am, which is an incredible feat because I'm about ready to boil over at any moment.

"Will you do me a favor and lie down on the floor?" Tobias roughly asks with a sexy gleam in his darkened eyes. "I think it's best not to make a mess on the white sheets." I silently gasp at his words. I wonder what in the world he has in store for me. I edge my way to the side of the bed then carefully drop to my knees. I kneel for a minute beckoning him with my eyes, and I hear him groan. I finally crawl across the floor and lie down at his feet, propping myself up on my arms and spreading my legs for him so he can see every inch of me, and I see his dark eyes darken even further. He grabs the jar of chocolate sauce and can of whipped cream from the ice bucket and lust surges through me. He wants to play some more. He kneels between my parted legs and with no pretense, puts his hands on the waistband of my sheer, lacy red boy shorts and slowly lowers them down my legs. I place my right ankle on his shoulder, and he locks eyes with me. "What has gotten into you?" His voice is raspy with passion, and his desirous stare has flames burning through my veins.

"I was hoping you would ... _soon_ ," I say as I look his magnificent naked body up and down, lingering at his highly aroused manhood. I take a deep cleansing breath trying to quiet my hammering heart. He is breathtaking. I finally meet his eyes again, and he's shaking his head back and forth slightly.

"I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer, love," he says moving my leg off his shoulder. "You may have started this Godforsaken game but I intend to finish it only when I'm good and ready." His words make me tingle with anticipation. He takes the whipped cream and squirts a dollop of it in the hollow of my neck. The coolness of it makes me shiver. He leans over and slowly licks it off making me tremble. I lie back loving every minute of his mouth and tongue on my skin. He dips out some chocolate sauce with his finger and rubs it all over my lips then starts licking it off. I push my tongue out to meet his, and it turns into a fevered, wanton kiss with the sweet taste of chocolate urging us both forward. He dips his finger into the chocolate again and slowly makes a line from my neck to my bellybutton, covering even my bra. He slowly laps up every inch of chocolate making me dizzy with pleasure. I arch my back and take my stained bra off and throw it away from us wanting him to turn his attention to my aching breasts. Knowing exactly what I'm thinking, he puts whipped cream on one nipple then sucks it off noisily, arousing me further. He's really having a good time with the addition of these sweets. This is definitely something we should do at home. I moan loudly when he puts more cold whipped cream on my sensitive nipple, distending it further, and sucks it into his mouth. I arch off the floor toward his heavenly mouth, and he sucks the aching bud even harder.

"Oh, my God!" I say, wrapping my arms around his head.

"Are you turned on, love?" he murmurs against my breast with a chuckle.

"I've been turned on the last hour, Tobias," I groan. "I'm not sure I can take much more." He moves up my body and looks into my eyes. I can smell chocolate and sweet cream on his ragged breath.

"I'm not done playing yet," he says, his eyes full of desire, lust, hunger, longing, and so much more. "You're just going to have to suffer until I decide to let you come then you can play with me. How does that sound?" I grab the back of his head and roughly pull his mouth to mine. The powerful need I'm feeling takes over, and I lose myself in his intense kiss. He tears himself away from my lips, leaving me panting on the smooth, cold wooden floor and kisses his way back to my breasts. He dips his finger in the chocolate and thickly coats each nipple with the smooth cold sauce like he's painting a masterpiece. He looks at his hand and moves it up and puts it in front of my open mouth. I take his finger into my mouth and suck on it gently, removing some of the succulent sauce. Then I lightly run my tongue up and down its length and around the tip, savoring the sweet chocolate flavor. I feel his mouth on my breast, hungrily devouring the sensual treat, and I grasp his body tightly with my legs as a ripple of pleasure moves through me. He drags his finger out of my mouth and dips it in the chocolate and writes I love you on my stomach. His eyes are on mine as he licks every bit of chocolate off my abdomen.

"Tobias," I moan. "You're killing me."

"Do you want me to let you come?" he asks. I can barely breathe to answer his question so I nod my head. He shakes his head at me. "You have to say it, Beatrice Grace. Tell me what you _want_."

"Make me come, Tobias," I say, moaning deeply. "I need you so much. I want you so much. _Please_ , make me come."

"Ask and you shall receive," he says with a smug grin. He grabs the whipped cream and fills my navel then trails it down to my womanhood. He places erotic kisses all around my tummy making the anticipation rise to new heights then licks all the melting sweet cream out of my bellybutton sending a shock straight to my core. He travels his tongue along the trail of whipped cream, lapping it up until he's circling my nubbin with just the very tip of his velvety tongue. He reaches up and grabs the chocolate. He dips his finger in and smears it all around my entrance and nubbin. I hear him growl deeply as he enjoys the extra special treat in front of him. I arch myself toward his whirling tongue and he holds me to him, keeping me still. He swirls his tongue all around for a bit before drawing the aching bundle of nerves between his hot, moist lips. As he sucks on it harder I fall over the cliff I've been climbing.

"Oh my God! Oh _God_! _Tobias_! Oh, shit. I'm coming!" I rise up off the floor, grasping his head firmly to my body as he continues sucking hard on my nubbin. When I come down from my high, I realize he's quickly building me toward my next release. He slowly enters a finger into my soaking wet center and sets a slow in-and-out pace. He starts swirling his tongue all along my aching bundle of nerves, barely touching me with just the tip. I grab his head roughly clutching him to me, enjoying the feel immensely. He adds a second finger and quickens the pace as he moves his mouth to my inner thigh and sucks gently on the sensitive flesh. I somehow manage to raise my hips to meet his probing fingers while keeping his head firmly held in place. "Oh, God! Please, please, please … _please_!" He moves his mouth back to my nubbin and draws it into his mouth, nibbling on it gently. He picks up the pace with his fingers, and I slip over the edge again. My whole body feels like it's on fire, and I find that I can no longer breathe. I spasm and shake all over then find myself gasping in lungful's of much-needed air. He slowly kisses his way up my body until he is tenderly kissing my lips. "God, I love you. Have I told you that lately?"

"As a matter of fact, you have," he says with a smile.

"So tell me something, Mr. Eaton, if I were to just _touch_ you right now do you think you would come?" I ask. He groans loudly. "Can I try something?"

"Of course," he says.

"I need you to lie down on your back," I say. He does and I cuddle up on the right side of his body and start licking and kissing his ear. I put my lips directly against his ear and whisper, "Just relax. I'm going to make you come for me." I start lightly sucking and licking on the sensitive spot beneath his ear and his body tenses. I put my hand on the opposite side of his neck, caressing gently as I tease him.

"Tris," he groans loudly. "Oh, oh. _Oh_ , my God!" His whole body tenses further, and he releases himself all over his stomach and chest. I stop kissing him and lay my head on his shoulder. We lie together as he catches his breath. "Damn! You never touched me." He sounds astonished.

"That's what I wanted to see," I say. "You got so hard just by me kissing your neck. I wanted to see if you could come without me touching you. You did that to me once. I knew you could do it!"

"Don't sound so proud of yourself," he says. I stick my tongue out at him and he smiles. I reach over and grab his underwear and hand them to him, and he cleans himself up.

"So, is it my turn to play now?" I ask.

"It sure is," he says, "but be forewarned, it will turn you on just as much as it will me." His phone rings, and we both sigh. I get up and grab it and hand it to him. "I don't recognize the number." The ringing abruptly stops, indicating the caller hung up. He tries his voice mail but nothing's there so we decide to forget about the intrusive interruption. I pick up the whipped cream, hold it up, and shake it around.

"My turn," I say unintentionally licking my lips causing his eyes to glaze over once again. I slowly push him down on the floor and kiss him hard on the mouth while I put a line of sweet cream on his neck. I deliberately skim my lips over his cheek and ear then proceed to lick the whipped cream off his neck. He's right. That was surprisingly erotic. I make a trail from his neck to his already hard nipple and slowly lap it all up. I dip my finger in the chocolate and feed it to him. He sucks hard on my finger then swirls his tongue all around the tip of it until it's totally clean. I get more chocolate and paint his nipples the same way he did mine then start kissing and licking all around his chest making him moan deeply. I finally flit my tongue out toward the chocolate-covered nub, and he moans deeply, which increases my desire. I didn't realize just how much pleasure I get from his sexual gratification. I draw the hard nipple into my mouth and suck on it roughly while I move my hands across his body. When I've thoroughly cleaned the chocolate off, I move to his other nipple and start sucking on it like a newborn suckles its mother's breast at feeding time.

I pick up the can of whipped cream while I'm still nibbling on the bud and make a line straight down the middle of his chest to his navel. I start kissing and licking the sugary treat off his chest as he groans loudly. I can't help but smile hearing him having such a good time. I dip my finger into the chocolate and spread it all over his rock solid manhood then take the whipped cream and put a dollop on the head. "Tobias, look at me." I don't recognize my husky voice. He maneuvers himself into an inclined position and I stare into his lust-darkened eyes. I start licking up and down his hard shaft never taking my eyes ... or my tongue … off of him. I see him hold his breath for a moment then draw in raspy gasps. When I finally take him into my mouth he moans loudly, and I see his stomach muscles tighten further. I enjoy the chocolate taste on his most intimate body part as I take more and more of him into my mouth. I synchronize the movement of my mouth and my hand, making sure I give him the best pleasure that I know how. He starts lifting his hips off the floor as I increase the suction on his hard length. I feel a pulsating desire on my nubbin and can't stop myself from rubbing myself against the leg I'm straddling. I'm still looking deep in his eyes as I feel his length expand, and he shudders and cries out as he releases himself into my mouth. I keep up the movement with my hand until he expels himself fully then I continue to lick around his length. I take him out of my mouth and lick the remaining chocolate off his still hard shaft. He reaches out and takes my hand, which has some chocolate on it also and starts licking every inch. I gasp when his tongue cleans out the webbing between my fingers then moan loudly. He meets my eyes and smiles around my fingers. Once he licks my hand clean, I kiss my way up his body until my lips land on his. The taste of chocolate on his tongue makes me smile.

"There's something I want to try," I say in between pants. He nods at me, still unable to speak himself. I get up and kneel at the top of his head and slowly lower my mouth to his and kiss him like we saw in a movie we watched once, The Man Who Turned into a Spider or something like that. He thrusts his tongue into my mouth, and I suck on it gently. We both groan at the same time. I get up on my hands and knees and move down his body placing sweet kisses as I go until I'm straddling him, offering my womanhood up for his special treatment, and he doesn't disappoint. As he buries his tongue inside my moist womanhood, I lie down flat on his stomach and take his manhood into my mouth. I've always loved feeling his mouth on me but there's something combustible about feeling his tongue, lips, and fingers work me over as I have him in my mouth. We synchronize our efforts to one another's and build quickly to what I know will be another mind-blowing release. He concentrates on my nubbin, licking, nibbling, and sucking until an eruption surges through my body. I release him from my mouth as I scream in fulfillment. When I can breathe again, I concentrate my efforts on his release. My mouth dances on his shaft as my tongue twirls and my hand dips down over and over. I feel him swell further, tense, and release himself with a cry of satisfaction of his own. I roll off of him after I swallow every last drop, and we both lay on the floor catching our breath.

Soon he gets up and reaches his hand down to me. I take it and he helps me to my feet and sweeps me up in his arms. I wrap my left arm around his neck and caress his cheek with my other one. I draw his mouth to mine and kiss him thoroughly. He kneels on the bed and lays me down in the center then lies beside me.

"I told you there was a position I wouldn't mind trying," he huskily says. "How about we try that now?"

"That sounds like a great idea," I say.

"I need you to lie next to me like you do when we're going to sleep at night," he says. I roll away from him onto my side, my heart hammering with anticipation. He moves and soon I feel every inch of his body mold perfectly to mine then he wraps his arms around me tightly in a loving embrace. I feel his hot mouth on the back of my neck, and a shudder moves through my body. He starts gently caressing my thigh and puts his mouth on my ear. "Put your leg over mine." I lift my leg, and he takes ahold of it and lays it where he wants it. He lovingly runs one hand over my growing tummy while the other one kneads an aching breast. He moves his hand lower until he's caressing my aching nubbin with the pad of a callused finger. I tilt my head back enjoying the growing pleasure, and he places his lips on my neck and kisses me gently. He takes his finger off my nubbin and places himself at my entrance and slowly pushes himself into me until I sheath him fully. I moan deeply and turn the upper half of my body in his arms slightly and search for his mouth with mine. He moves his hand back to my nubbin as he starts moving within me slowly. I sigh as he keeps up the steady, long strokes with his hard length and constant pressure with his finger. He can see that I'm enjoying myself completely so he increases the speed further, his thrusts harder and deeper making me gasp. I arch my back and grab his thigh and squeeze it as a mini spasm of pleasure moves though my body from his deep penetrations, which seem to be hitting a magical spot inside of me and from the constant circular motion of his finger on my aching bundle of nerves.

"Tobias," I say against his mouth. "I love you. I _love_ this. Oh God! This is so good. _You're_ so good." He kisses me passionately, one hand circling my nubbin and the other caressing my aching breast.

"You're so perfect," he says in my ear. "I love you so much, Tris." He continues moving within me, not too slow but not too fast. He's taking his sweet time, letting our orgasms build unhurriedly. "You're so tight and wet." His thrusts increase ever so slightly with his words.

"You're so hard and hot," I moan. He increases our pace further and kisses the sensitive spot beneath my left ear. "Oh, Tobias. I can feel you so deep inside me."

"I love how it feels being inside you," he says then he kisses my shoulder and gently grabs my thigh and moves my leg back towards us opening me for him. He starts moving into my body at a frenzied pace, making me cry out with each powerful trust.

"Oh, my God!" I say as I feel him swell within me, prompting me to shudder uncontrollably around him as a wave of pleasure washes over me. "Uh, uh, uh. _Oh, God!_ " As he plunges over the edge, he tenses and spills into me.

"Oh, God! _I'm coming, Tris!_ " he calls out at the exact same time I scream, " _TTTOOOBBBIIIAAASSS_!" at the top of my lungs. I feel his movement slow then finally stop, and I lie with his arms wrapped around me, air rushing in and out of my aching lungs. He slides out of me, and we both collapse on the bed. He moves his mouth to mine and gives me a deep, need-filled, powerful kiss.

"You're killing me, Tobias," I moan when he moves his mouth to my neck.

"That's kind of my intention, love," he says with a chuckle. His soft touch tightens my tummy. "I told you this would only be over when I was good and ready." An intense look comes over his face, and he stares deeply into my eyes, caressing my cheek. "And I'm not done yet. Not at all." His mouth crashes into mine just as his phone rings again. We both groan … _loudly_. He reaches for the phone just as it stops ringing. " _Son_ _of a bitch!_ If I figure out who keeps interrupting us, I'm going to _kill_ them. Now where was I?" He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me passionately as we run our hands all over each other's bodies. "It's your turn to pick out a position ... or two or three. I'm open to anything." He laughs heartily against my neck making me shiver. "Do you have something else that you would like to try or would you like something familiar?"

"What if I tell you _I'm_ done," I tease.

"Not an option, Mrs. Eaton," he says with a sexy grin, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "It's my mission to wear you out tonight, and like I've said before, _you_ started all this with that damn game that kept me harder than I've ever been in my entire life for far too long."

"Fine," I say with mock exasperation. I lean up and get a strawberry then push him down flat on his back. I straddle his hips and immediately feel his hands on my waist. I take a bite of the berry and rub its juicy flesh over his lips, staining them red then lean over and kiss him feverishly. I run my tongue along his bottom lip until he opens for me then I explore every inch of his hot mouth. The taste is exhilarating and makes me want more. I put the berry in my mouth then proceed to kiss him slowly, thoroughly, sharing the sweet treat with him. I reach back and get another berry and rub it all over his lips again then feed it to him. I run the very tip of my tongue over his lips, tasting the fragrant juice then force it through his soft, pliable lips into his mouth and mate it hungrily with his. I start slowly rocking back and forth on his hard shaft, and he moans loudly. "Will you make love to me? Please." I lean up and look him directly in his eyes. "I want to feel you on me … _in_ me." He groans and rolls us over so that he is once again on top of me. We don't bother with extended foreplay this time, the need we are experiencing it too overwhelming. He thrusts deeply into me as I move my hips to accept him, joining our bodies fully with one driving thrust. He slowly rotates his hips making room within my small body for himself before he starts slowly moving in and out of my pulsating core. My body moves involuntarily to meet each of his possessive thrusts. He keeps the pace steady, not too slow yet not too fast. We stare into each other's eyes as our bodies move as one. He slowly brings his mouth to mine, and he gives me a long, lingering, intoxicating kiss.

"I love you," he huskily says when he finally releases my mouth.

"I love you," I breathlessly say in response. I don't know how I can possibly love him more than I do in the moment. Everything is absolutely perfect. I draw his mouth back to mine and kiss him with a wanton passion that I didn't know I was capable of. I tangle my fingers in his hair as I make love to him with my tongue. He increases the speed, and I lift my hips to his thrusting body in a synchronized rhythm. We move together in perfect harmony, me lifting my hips to his powerfully driving body enjoying the feel of each other. I grasp his back tightly as he kisses his way from my mouth to my breast. He captures my erect little bud between his lips and sucks gently increasing the familiar pressure that's building and localizing where our bodies are joined. He senses my growing need and increased the pace further. I rock beneath him as he thrusts wildly into my tight depths. My breath is harsh and uneven. I'm gasping for air but it isn't coming to me easily. I feel him swell within me, and he hammers away at my body building toward his climax. I arch my back in unspeakable happiness, answering his thrusting hips as I slip over the edge, erupting into a final fiery explosion of ecstasy. He buries his head in my neck as he experiences the longest, hottest release of his life. He grunts and groans in my ear while he continues to spill his love inside me. After what seems like forever, he is finally still and laying on me fully. He leverages himself up on to his elbows and looks into my eyes. Emotion overwhelms me and tears start to flood down my cheeks once again.

"What's wrong?" he tenderly asks, caressing my cheeks.

"Nothing," I say, sniffing and wiping the traitor tears away. "Everything is absolutely perfect, Tobias."

"Then why are you crying, love?" he asks. He rolls us on our side and pulls me close to his chest.

"I honestly don't know," I say. "It could be pregnancy hormones but it could be that I just love you so much, and when I think of that ... it chokes me up." The last words are barely audible as a new wave of irrational emotion washes over me. He holds me, kissing away my tears. I finally draw his mouth to mine and kiss him long and hard. Unbelievably the passion starts to reignite.

"Haven't you had enough?" he asks with a groan.

"Have you?" I ask, staring into his loving eyes, watching them become desire clouded.

"Never," he says with a huge smile on his face. "Come here." He grabs me and rolls us until I'm lying on top of him. He kisses me hungrily as one arm wraps tightly against my body holding me to him and the other tangles itself in my hair. I have my hand between us, moving my glove-like fist along his hardening shaft. The phone rings again and a noise I've never heard comes from deep within his throat. I release my grip on him as he grabs his phone.

"This had _better_ be good," he growls angrily, finally getting a chance to answer the ringing phone. The look on his face instantly worries me. I can tell that something is wrong but I have no idea what it could be. "Okay, my wife and I will be there as soon as we can but I have to tell you we're in Amity so it's going to take us at least a couple hours to get there. Keep me posted." He hangs up his phone.

"What is it, Tobias?" I ask, anxiety rushing through me.

"Tris, I'm so sorry," he says, "but we've got to go ... _now_! Evelyn's water broke. The baby is on its way."


	43. Chapter 43

I freeze when I hear the news. I can't believe our baby is on her way. I meet Tobias' eyes, and he leans into me and places his lips to mine and gently kisses me. All the passion we were experiencing just moments ago disappear the minute we receive that phone call. We get out of bed and take everything that's ours down to the kitchen-living room area of our suite so that I can pack while Tobias is taking a shower. Neither one of us can go anywhere without cleaning up first. I throw all our dirty clothes into one shopping bag and our clean items minus an outfit for each of us into our small suitcase. I gather up the remaining shopping bags and put what items that will fit in the suitcase and lie the rest and the backpacks on the couch. I empty our leftovers into the trash and put all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher after I quickly put away the clean ones. Tobias comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips, and I have to fight off the desire that spears through to the soul of me.

"I laid you out an outfit," I say, pointing at the couch. He reaches out and stops me. I look up into his smiling eyes.

"I'm really sorry we have to go," he says. "I'll make it up to you when things calm down. I swear we'll finish our honeymoon."

"We couldn't have predicted that she would have went into labor early when all her other kids were late," I say. "But if we can sneak off for a couple days, I won't say no. I love you." I kiss him tenderly not wanting to reignite the passion that is simmering just beneath the surface. "Now I have to go take a shower so we can get to the hospital."

"I love you, too, Tris," he says. "When you're done can you take one last look around making sure we haven't left anything? I'm going to take everything down to the truck. I'll meet you downstairs." I take a really quick shower then get dressed. I don't even bother doing anything more than running a wide-toothed comb through my damp hair. I go up to the bedroom and take in my surroundings. I close my eyes running through every sweet memory we made in that bed ... _and_ on the floor. There's nothing that will make me forget every minute I spent with Tobias in this room. I open my eyes and closely look around one last time but find nothing we accidentally left behind. Sadness pierces my heart, and I sigh as I turn off the lights and head back downstairs. I take one final look around the small kitchen and living room but I find nothing. I go into the bathroom and rummage through the drawers. I find a small white box with a pink ribbon tied around it in the last one I open. I take it with me just in case it's ours. If it's not, I'll give it to the caretaker because it looks like a jewelry box, and I'm sure someone is missing it. I turn off the lights and take my final journey down the six flights of stairs to meet Tobias. When I reach the big kitchen at the bottom, I find Tobias talking to the lighthouse caretaker.

"I'll have some Dauntless guards return the truck later today," he is saying to the older gray-haired gentleman with kind but tired eyes. "Thank you again for letting us borrow it to get to the hospital."

"You don't have to thank me, Mr. Eaton," he says. "It's the least I can do to make sure you get to the hospital for the birth of your first child.

"I emptied the mini fridge and put the dirty bowls in the dishwasher," I say, making my presence known. "I didn't bring the trash down. I hope that's okay."

"Oh, that is fine, Mrs. Eaton," he says. "I'm thankful for what you did. It was very thoughtful. Most guests wouldn't have done that much."

"Are you ready, Tris?" Tobias asks.

"I am," I say. "I did find this. Is it ours?" I hold the small box out, and he grimaces letting me know it's ours and more than likely for me. "Don't worry, I didn't open it."

"I'm afraid we left the place quite a mess, and I mean the _entire_ place." I blush slightly remembering our time in every single room in this building.

"It's okay, sir," the caretaker says. "We clean every room after guests leave when they are the only ones here." Now I don't feel so bad. Tobias takes me by the hand and leads me to the truck. Within minutes we're heading toward the city.

"Where did you find that box?" he asks.

"It was in the last drawer in the closet," I say.

"I got it for you before you told me you don't want any more gifts," he says. "I can't believe that I missed it. I'm really glad you found it, and I swear, I'll keep my promise and lay off the presents."

"I appreciate that," I say. I slide closer to him, take his hand in mine, lacing our fingers together, and rest my head up against his shoulder. My entire body seems to be trembling slightly.

"Are you nervous?" he asks, noticing the shaking as we near the fence.

"Nervous … scared … anxious … excited … overjoyed," I say, feeling each emotion as I say it. "I've never felt this way. It's frightening and confusing, Tobias."

"It's going to be okay, Tris," he says, holding our joined hands up to his mouth and kissing them gently. "I'm feeling exactly the same way you are. We'll get through this together just like we do everything else. Before you know it, she'll be here, and we'll get to take her home. We'll finally be a family." Tears come to my eyes.

"We're already a family," I whisper, emotion once again robbing me of my voice. After a moment of silence I ask, "What if I'm not a good mother? What if I do something wrong? I don't know anything about babies."

"Do you remember when Tyler first came to stay with us?" he asks and I nod my head, remembering the trepidation I felt. "Neither one of us knew anything at all about having a child in the house. We were scared to death that something would happen to him but he's grown so much under our care and a lot of that has to do with you. He loves you so much. That tells me we're doing something right. You're not _going_ to be a wonderful mother, Tris ... you already _are_ a fantastic mom. Please don't doubt yourself. We just have to do our best every day and learn from our mistakes. It wouldn't be a bad idea to have a conversation on how we want our kids raised and soon. I know we've talked about it a little but I think there's a lot more we need to discuss."

"You have so much faith in me," I say.

"Yes, I do, but I have more faith in _us._ We can do anything, remember?" he says. I stare out the window and think about his words. Tobias called Will before we left the lighthouse and had him let the fence guards know that we were coming back early, and the gate is open. We don't stop to give our thanks, we just head straight into the city. I'm tired and would love to get a little sleep before we get to the hospital but I'm too keyed up. Instead I just relax into Tobias' side thinking about where this day will take us. I pray that everything goes smoothly and that our little girl will be healthy. In practically the blink of an eye, Tobias is pulling into the underground garage at the hospital. We find a parking place near the elevators and take it to the fifth floor. My heart is hammering in my chest as we run through the hallways to the obstetrics wing. I'm gasping for breath as we reach the nurse's station.

"I'm checking on Evelyn Johnson," Tobias says breathlessly when a nurse we've never seen before asks if she can help us. "We were called and told that her water broke."

"You do know that it's past visiting hours," the nurse says, although her tone is not unfriendly. "You're going to have to come back tomorrow." I glance at Tobias and see him transform into Four. This nurse doesn't know who she's dealing with.

"There must be some mistake," I say, speaking before he can. " _We_ are the baby's parents. I believe we're entitled to be here for her birth, don't you think?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she says shuffling the paperwork that's before her with an embarrassed look on her face. "Mr. and Mrs. Eaton?" We both nod. "I guess I was expecting an older couple. I shouldn't have assumed. Please come this way." She leads us down a hallway we've never been down into a small yet surprisingly comfortable waiting area. Instead of hard uncomfortable chairs, it has cozy, well-used couches. There is a large wall-mounted TV set, DVD player, and hundreds of movies on one wall and a small play area tucked away in a corner. It's definitely a family friendly area. "You'll both have to wait here. You will be given regular updates on Evelyn and the baby. There is a bathroom and small room with vending machines just around the corner. It's marked. I'm sorry for the initial confusion. Congratulations!" She turns and leaves us alone. We sit down on one of the couches and snuggle into each other. Seconds turn into minutes which drag into hours and soon we see the sun coming up. We've been given regular updates just like the nurse told us we would, and her labor is progressing very slowly. Under normal circumstances, she would be given a drug to help her along but it isn't advised in women with preeclampsia so we continue to wait hoping the labor doesn't completely stall.

"Tobias, do you mind if I go home and get a couple hours sleep then get Tyler and bring him back with me? I miss him so much and knowing he is so close is killing me. I read a sign that says siblings are allowed. He is the baby's brother," I say after additional hours have passed with no sign of the baby coming anytime soon. "It sounds like it's going to be a while."

"Of course. You need to take care of yourself," he says. "Plus, I can't wait to see Tyler."

"I can't either," I say, fatigue and excitement battling for dominance in my body. "Please call me if anything changes and I'll rush back. I love you."

"I love you, too," he says. I give him a quick kiss then walk to our car, which was brought to us by Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo who took the old Amity truck we borrowed back to the lighthouse. Within half-an-hour I pull up in front of the Pire. I leave the car at the curb since I'll be going back to the hospital later. I enter the compound right by our offices but don't see anyone around. I head up the stairs to my apartment, fatigue dragging me down. When I step into my living room, a calming effect washes over my entire body, and I'm surprised I don't collapse onto the couch. It's been too many hours since I slept. I slowly climb the stairs to my bedroom. I look around the familiar space and realize how much I've missed this place. I set the alarm for three hours, put my phone on the end table, and lie down on Tobias' side of the bed. Within minutes I'm fast asleep.

The alarm startles me awake in what seems like a minute or two. I hit the snooze button, not quite ready to get up yet. Arms tighten around me, and I immediately tense up. I look over my shoulder and find Tobias fast asleep, and I automatically relax. He obviously decided to get some rest also. I close my eyes and immediately fall back to sleep. The alarm buzzes again a few minutes later and I jump. Tobias reaches out and turns it off and slowly opens his eyes.

"Hi," I say, sleep thick in my voice.

"Hey," he says, sounding just as tired as I do. "We should probably get up." He grabs his phone and scrolls through his messages. "She's still laboring, and she hasn't progressed while we've been gone, and they're starting to worry that her labor has stalled. She might need a C-section. I think we need to get back to the hospital as soon as we can."

"Will you call Stella and let her know we're going to pick up Tyler and take him with us," I say. "I need to use the bathroom." When I finish freshening up in the rest room, I go downstairs and meet Tobias.

"Ready?" he says. "I'm really going to miss the lighthouse but it's nice to be home."

"I feel the exact same way," I say. "Our real lives have been on hold the past week. It will be nice to get back to our old routine." I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. It starts out slow and tender and turns fiery and passionate. "I am going to miss being able to make love to you whenever I want to though. That spoiled me. _You_ spoil me." I go to kiss him again and he groans. "I'm sorry. I know we need to get going."

"I love you," he says right before he gives me what I want. He places his lips gently against mine and gives me a long, lingering, passion-filled kiss leaving us both breathless. "Let's go get Tyler." As we walk hand-in-hand to the Pit, we are bombarded with hellos and congratulations, and I go cherry red all over. I never thought about all the extra attention we would receive once we got home. It reminds me of the early days of our relationship and the first few weeks as leaders. When we enter the daycare center, I spot Tyler playing with Zane. He looks like he's grown. He doesn't see us at first but when he does, his eyes widen, a smile fills his face, and he comes barreling towards us.

"Twis, Fo!" he yells happily capturing everyone's attention in the center. We squat down, and he runs directly into our arms. I knew I missed him but I didn't know how much. I hug him tightly and tears actually come into my eyes.

"I've missed you so much," I say into his ear. "I love you."

"Hi, Fo," he says jovially. "Twis, home now?"

"Yes, Four and I are home now," I say. "As a matter of fact, you are coming with us right now. Mommy Evelyn is having her baby." He frowns at the mention of Evelyn.

"No go," he says with a pout. He must think we're going to force him to see his mother again.

"You don't want to come with me? I've missed you like crazy, buddy, and I want you to keep me company. You'll be with me the entire time, I promise," I say. "Are you sure you don't want to spend the afternoon with me?"

"Otay," he says, his smile returning. "I go wit you, Twis." I pick him up, and I hear Tobias chuckle lightly.

"I don't rate with him at all," he quietly says in my ear and I smile up at him. He knows better than that. His little brother loves him more than almost anything. We slowly walk out of the Pit and up to the Pire. Tobias tries several times to take him from me but he won't budge. Once he's in my arms he isn't leaving. I'm surprised we didn't see Will, Christina, or Tori at the very least. It has to be all over Dauntless that the newlyweds are back early from their honeymoon. I put Tyler in his car seat then give in and sit with him after he begs for a while. I text our friends and tell them we're at the hospital because the baby is on the way while Tobias chauffeurs us toward the center of the city. Immediately upon arriving at the hospital, I take Tyler to the cafeteria to get some lunch when he tells me he's hungry. We invite Tobias to join us but he wants to get upstairs and check on his mother's condition. We eat our turkey sandwiches, sweet potato salad, green beans, and bananas quickly then take a sandwich, some chips, and a bottle of water to Tobias. I ask Tyler if he wants to play but he would rather sit on my lap snuggling with me. I ask him what he did while we were gone, and while he's recounting every little detail, sometimes incomprehensibly, he falls asleep. It feels complete now that we're all together. I don't know how else to explain it.

"He sure did miss you," Tobias says, looking down at the peaceful look on the sleeping boys face. "I can tell that you missed him just as much."

"Now that we're home, I have a request," I say with a tired sigh. "Let's never leave our kids for that long ever again. A day or two is okay but almost 10 days is far too long."

"You may not believe this, but I agree 100% with you," he says. "As good of a time as I had with you, I missed him and I missed this … _us_."

" _Good_ time?" I say scoffing at him. I don't think that's strong enough of a word unless he has different memories than I do.

"You're right," he says with a stimulating grin. "Let's see … wonderful, spectacular, life changing, sexy as hell. Does that sound more like it?" He laughs heartily, and I have to remind him of Tyler. He apologizes and wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me to him. How is it that all my dreams are coming true? Down the hall my daughter is fighting to be born as I'm sitting here with my son asleep in my lap. I shouldn't think those words, not until we've talked to Sheila and I know for certain that I get to be his mother.

"Penny for your thoughts," he asks after I go silent for a while.

"I was just thinking about Tyler. I was reminding myself not to get my hopes up to much," I say.

"You look really sad, love," he says. "I hate seeing you this way."

"I'm not _sad_ … really, I'm not," I say. "I'm happier than I've ever been." We stare into each other's eyes. I start reminiscing over every minute of our delightful honeymoon but have to stop myself. This definitely isn't the place to rip his clothes off and have my way with him but as usual the desire to do so is incredibly strong. Something in his look tells me that he's thinking the exact same thing.

"Mr. and Mrs. Eaton," another new nurse says, interrupting our silent ruminations. "Evelyn's labor has started progressing quickly. She's now dilated at 5 cm and has gained much of that over the past couple of hours. Hopefully it won't take much longer ... as long as it doesn't stall again."

"Thank you," we say in unison. The short conversation wakes Tyler up. He looks around confused and slightly scared.

"Tyler," I say, running my hand through his dark curls. "You're okay. Tris and Four are with you, remember." When he sees us he smiles brightly. I take him to the bathroom, change his diaper, and clean him up. I take him to the cafeteria to get him a snack and some milk then we go back to the waiting room. When we enter the room, Tyler runs to Tobias and gives him the muffin we bought him.

"Thanks, buddy," he says. "Did you have a good time with Zander, Stella, Zane, and his brothers and sisters?"

"Yeah," he says around a mouthful of muffin. "I had lots of fun. Glad you and Twis home now. Miss you."

"We missed you like crazy," Tobias says. "Tris and I got something for you." He reaches behind him and pulls out a handmade wooden toy racecar that we saw when we were at the street fair in Amity. I didn't know that he had bought it. How did I miss that when I was packing? Tyler's eyes get wide as he takes the car from Tobias.

"Tanks, Fo," he says. "Love you." He gives him a big hug and a kiss on the mouth then comes to me and throws his arms around my neck. "Tanks for the caw, Twis! Love you!" He sits at our feet and plays for hours, running it all around the base of the couch and around our boots. The nurse tells us Evelyn's progress has slowed but it is still moving forward. Tobias goes to the cafeteria at suppertime and gets us each a meal and brings it back to the waiting room. After we eat, we put a movie in and Tyler sits transfixed not moving an inch. Tobias and I hold hands on the back of the couch as we try to keep our minds off the long wait.

"Why don't you take him home?" Tobias asks at about midnight. Tyler's lying across my lap fast asleep. "I'll call you when I hear something." Just then the door next to us opens and a tall, older man in a long white lab coat comes into the waiting room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Eaton? My name is Dr. Henry," he says. Tobias stands up and shakes his outstretched hand. "Your daughter was born approximately five minutes ago. She is completely healthy. Evelyn's preeclampsia had no effect on her whatsoever. She weighed 6 pounds, 6 ½ ounces and was 19 ½ inches long at the time of her birth." Joy I've never known surges through me. My baby is here and she's healthy!

"When can we see her?" Tobias says, excitement in his voice.

"Soon," the doctor says, "but there is something else you two need to know first. Evelyn's complicated pregnancy and long, hard labor took its toll on her body. I'm afraid she suffered a massive heart attack while she was giving birth. We did everything we could to save both her and the baby but I'm afraid your mother's condition could not be overcome, and she did not make it. I'm sorry for your loss." I hear Tobias gasp.

"I'm so sorry, Four," I whisper, wishing I could wrap in my arms. He looks like a lost little boy. This is the second time in his young life he's been told that his mother is dead. No person should have to live through that kind of hell.

"Can we see our daughter now?" he asks. I can hear the anguish in his voice behind his Four mask, and I know he's only wearing it now to protect himself.

"Of course," the doctor says. "Please follow me." Tobias picks Tyler up off of my lap, and we follow the doctor into a small, empty birthing suite. He lies the sleeping toddler on the bed then takes me in his arms.

"I can't believe our daughter was born the same day my mother died," he says sounding numb.

"Why don't you sit down," I say not knowing how to help him. It can't be easy losing a parent no matter how you feel about them. He sits in the small chair next to the bed as the door opens. A tall, pretty nurse with blue eyes and hair as dark as night wearing turquoise scrubs wheels in a little pink and white cart and parks it in front of us.

"I've been told that you've been here nearly 24 hours," she says with a warm smile. "I think you should make this visit short and go home and get a good night's sleep." She smiles brightly at us indicting that she doesn't know that Tobias is Evelyn's son and that along with his profound joy he's grieving also. "You won't get much sleep for a while. Is half an hour okay?"

"Yes, thank you nurse," I say. She turns and walks out of the room, and I look at the little creature laying in the center of the bed swaddled in a white blanket covered with tiny pink hearts. She has wisps of barely there dark brown hair and a slightly misshapen head. "She's so tiny." Tobias sets aside his grief, gets up, and comes to stand beside me. He puts his arm around my shoulder, and we stare at our daughter.

"Do you want to hold her?" he asks, emotion thick in his voice. I look at him and nod my head. He gently slides one hand under her tiny head and the other under her body and picks her up. She looks even smaller in his large, steady hands. I instinctively move and Tobias carefully lays her in the cradle of my arms. She's so soft and warm. She squirms a little at first then settles contentedly into me and doesn't fuss at all, which surprises me. I guess I figured all newborns cried all the time but she seems very comfortable at the moment. Tobias leans over and gently puts his lips on her head and gives her a kiss. I notice tears in his eyes.

"Let me give her to you," I say. He puts his arms just like mine, and I slowly and very carefully give her to her father. I watch joy, grief, and love mingle in his face, and my heart breaks for him.

"She's perfect," he says. "She looks a lot like Tyler don't you think." I study her flawless little face and see what he's seeing … the same small nose that turns up just a bit at the end, the same spare upper lip, which Tobias has also, and the same ears that stick out just a bit too much but not distractingly so. Something amazing happens in this moment, my heart expands ... not literally of course but figuratively. I've often wondered how I was going to be able to continue loving Tobias with every fiber of my being and Tyler the way that I do and have anything left over for the baby … no _babies_ but now I know. My heart will keep expanding, letting me love all the important people in my life the way they need to be loved.


	44. Chapter 44

Tobias and I stand staring in awe at our beautiful angelic-faced baby girl. I lean over and lightly touch my lips to her little head and give her a soft kiss. Her clean, innocent scent swirls around my head making me smile. Tobias is cooing at the tiny infant sleeping contentedly in his arms. I've never seen him look so happy and so lost all at the same time. It makes my heart constrict painfully. I really wish I knew how to help him. The door opens, and the same nurse who brought our daughter into the room walks in.

"I'm afraid that your 30 minutes is up," she says with an apologetic smile on her pretty face. "I need to take her back to the nursery. It's almost time for her feeding. I suggest you take my advice. Go home and get some rest. We'll need to have you both back here at 10 a.m. tomorrow. There's a lot of information we need to go over with you before she can be released. If everything goes as expected, she more than likely will be released after her supper feeding. That is pretty standard. Now, go home, and congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter." She expertly takes Tessa out of Tobias' arms and puts her in the portable hospital cart. "Oh, I do have one question for you. I can't believe that I almost forgot. Do you have a name picked out for this lovely little one? I need to put it in her chart."

"Yes," I say.

"Her name is Tessa Beatrice Prior-Eaton," Tobias proudly says, interrupting me. He drapes his arm over my shoulders pulling me close, and I wrap my arm tightly around his waist. We both kiss our daughter's head, tell her we love her, then watch the nurse wheel her out of the room.

"Are you okay, Tobias?" I ask, looking up into his unhappy eyes. He sighs loudly.

"I'm so confused right now, Tris," he says, absentmindedly running his fingers through his mess of curls. "I never told you this but before we got married I made the decision to walk away from Evelyn for good. I knew I couldn't allow her to continue to treat me or my family with such disregard. I was going to tell her everything after Tessa was born and we got her settled in at home. Now I'll never have a chance to tell her how I really feel. She went to her grave with me pretending everything was alright." He goes quiet for a time. "I feel guilty for that. I know I shouldn't ... I was just making sure our daughter was born healthy ... but I do. Although I didn't want anything more to do with her, I didn't hate her, and I certainly didn't wish she was dead. I was hoping that with time I could forgive her and let go of this anger." He shakes his head despairingly. "And I don't understand. How can I be angry at her _now_? She's dead. The anger should have disappeared but it didn't. I'm still incredibly pissed off at her. I'm such a terrible son. How I'm feeling right now also makes me second guess locking Marcus out of my life forever." Surprise has to change my face. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would hear him talk about forgiving Marcus. I wrap my arms around his neck and draw his head down to my shoulder and hug him tightly. He hugs me back just as forcefully.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Tobias," I whisper in his hear. It's all I know to say, "And you're _not_ a bad son." Being a bad son implies being a bad person and he doesn't have a bad bone in his body. "Maybe we should get Tyler home now. We've all had a very long day." He lets me go and carefully picks him up off the bed without waking him. We walk slowly through the maze of hallways to the elevators and go to our car in the underground parking lot. After getting Tyler buckled in his car seat, we drive back to Dauntless in near silence. I wish I knew what to say to him but I don't, so I just stay quiet. After a while, I feel his eyes on me, and I look his way.

"I love you," he says, heartfelt emotion evident in his trembling voice.

"I love you, too," I say. "So much." He reaches across the empty space between us and takes my hand in his. He laces our fingers together and kisses the back of our joined hands. We finish our drive back to Dauntless in complete silence. When we pull into the garage, Tyler stirs and starts crying. After Tobias parks in our regular spot, I quickly get out of the car and get Tyler out of his seat. I hold him for a minute, shushing him lovingly, and waiting for him to settle down. Tobias tries to take him but he won't go to him so I carry him up to our apartment. It's late so we thankfully don't meet anyone along the path. I for one am not in the mood to smile and make nice. When we get home, I kick out of my shoes, take Tyler to his room, change his diaper, put him into his pajamas, and rock him until he falls back to sleep, which doesn't take too long. Tobias comes into the room while I'm tucking him in. We both kiss him goodnight then go into our bedroom

"Can we just concentrate on us tonight?" he roughly says. "Tomorrow we can deal with ... reality. Whatever that is." He steps closer to me and puts his hands on both sides of my face and stares intensely into my eyes. "I remember promising never to use you … use _us_ as a distraction, and that's not what this is. I promise. I just want to make love to you. _Please_ let me make love to you, Tris." His voice is husky, full of need … almost desperate.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton," I say, "but I'm not sure that's such a good idea." I hate that my words are hurting him even more than he already is. I would like nothing more than to take him to bed right now and make love to him all night long but I don't think it's what he _really_ needs in this moment. "You're hurting right now. Making love isn't going to change that. Maybe we should just talk about how you're feeling." His head drops, and I pull him into the circle of my arms. He starts crying, and I hold him close, crying along with him.

"I don't want to talk. I don't want to _think_ ," he gruffly says when he can speak again. "If you won't make love to me ... will you at least hold me?" My heart nearly breaks in half at his words. Am I doing the right thing by not giving him what he wants right now?

"Of course I will," I quietly say. He surprises me by letting me go. He walks to our dresser, rummages through the drawers, and returns with some pajamas. I know why it's necessary but I'm going to miss sleeping next to him with the feel of his naked skin pressed intimately up against mine. I change into the silk and lace camisole and shorts set as he slips out of his clothes and into a pair of silk sleep pants He sets the alarm for the later than usual 8 a.m., which should give us a good night's rest. We climb into bed, and he lies in my arms with his head resting on my chest. I run my fingers through his hair as I try to comfort him the best way I know how. After about an hour of cold silence alternating with body wracking sobs he lets out a long, frustrated sigh.

"Tell me what I can do to help you," I say. His red-rimmed dark eyes lift to meet mine.

"I already told you what I want," he says, sounding somewhat like a petulant child who didn't get to play with his favorite toy. I look into his eyes contemplating what it would hurt to make love to this man ... the man I love more than life itself ... when he's hurting as much as he is.

"I love you. You know that right?" I whisper. He slowly nods. I can't help myself and I pull his mouth to mine. He kisses me with an unfamiliar deep need that borders on agonizing. In this moment I realize it was wrong not to give him what he so desperately wanted, what he desperately _needs_. I didn't believe him when he told me he wasn't using us as a distraction. I do now. He was feeling the need to connect with the one person he should be able to trust, and I took that away from him. Tears fill my eyes. "I am _so_ sorry. I shouldn't have said no. You we're needing a distraction, were you?"

"No," he roughly says, gently wiping the tears out of _my_ eyes. "I needed you. I _need_ you."

"Come here," I say. He unhurriedly moves his mouth to mine and kisses me softly, tenderly. The velvety tip of his tongue running lightly across my bottom lip makes me open my mouth for him. He slowly slips his tongue between my parted lips and strokes it seductively with mine. As the kiss deepens, I feel his hands sliding slowly down my body from my neck to my waist, barely grazing my breasts, and I sigh into his open mouth. He moves his mouth to the sensitive spot on my neck just below my left earlobe and kisses me tenderly, lovingly. I move my hands up his rippled back into his curls, pulling him closer to me. When the need I'm feeling becomes dizzying, I pull his mouth back to mine and give him a long, drugging kiss. He slowly moves my camisole up and over my head then tosses it to the side. I feel his powerful hand delicately reach out to touch my breast and I shiver. As I thoroughly enjoy the attention he's paying my aching breast, I move my hands across his broad muscled chest with a subtle touch, teasing his nipples occasionally. I place targeted kisses across his neck, shoulders, and pecs until I land on his already hard nipples. When I take one into my hot, wet mouth, he groans a low guttural moan from deep within his chest. I swear I can feel him shudder beneath my lips as I circle the hard bud with just the very tip of my tongue. I suck his nipple deep into my mouth and nibble lightly, and I feel his hands travel up my body and grip my head bringing it closer to his chest.

"Oh, God, Tris," he breathlessly says.

"Do you like that?" I lazily murmur around his nipple and he moans something that sounds like a yes, making me smile. I lightly trail my tongue, placing kisses at strategic points across his chest to his other nipple. I lick all around it then suck on it gently. He lets out a long moan and moves his body against mine, letting me feel his growing need and a gasp escapes my lips. I stop playing with his sensitive peak and look up at him. I see the need I'm now feeling mirrored in his eyes. I start kissing my way down his taut abs until I'm lying between his parted legs, French kissing his navel seductively. I move my hands to the waistband of his silk boxers, and he raises his hips ever so slightly so I can slide them down his muscular legs and toss them to the floor. I look up into his eyes and deliberately and very slowly wet my lips with the very tip of my tongue. His eyes glaze over with lust. I glide my hand over his rigid length, and he takes a ragged breath in and growls loudly. I continue caressing his hard shaft with just the palm of my hand while I place kisses all around his hips and thighs. I dart my tongue out and lick up his hot, distended flesh, never taking my eyes off his. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that he has balled his hands up into white-knuckled fists. I run the tip of my tongue along the sensitive ridge of the head, and he groans even louder. I finally take him into my mouth, and I see his eyes glaze further. I start the synchronized movement of my mouth and hand, bringing him closer to release.

"Tris," he moans. " _Please_." I pick up the pace with my mouth and hand knowing he needs relief. Each dip of my head takes him further into my open mouth until he's hammering the back of my throat, seeking entrance. We stare into each other's eyes as he swells then explodes. I keep him completely in my mouth as he empties himself fully. After a minute or two of continued teasing and additional stimulation, I take him out of my mouth and start kissing my way back up his naked body.

When I reach his right shoulder, moving slowly with every intention of teasing his right ear, he moves my mouth to his and kisses me fiercely, his deep need showing. He rolls us until I'm laying beneath his heavy body. He leans back and puts his hands on my silky sleep shorts and slowly pulls them down my legs and tosses them away. He kneels on the bed between my parted legs and runs his eyes up and down my body. It's as if I can actually feel the heat of his gaze everywhere it touches. I move one leg and rub my foot up and down his chest, and he growls causing me to smile seductively. He lies down on his side beside me and places his lips against my neck and starts kissing me tenderly, focusing on the extra sensitive spot beneath my left ear again. He moves me so that one of my legs is trapped between his, effectively opening my body to him. He slowly glides his hand down my body, grazing all the responsive, aching areas while his mouth is on my neck. He slips his hand between my legs, searches the folds, and starts a gentle, ghost-like pressure with the tip of his finger on my nubbin. I moan deeply at the contact and feel his lips turn up into a smile on my neck. He slips his hand lower and slides his middle finger into my tight, moist womanhood. My breath starts coming quicker as he inserts a second into my depths and places a gentle pressure on my aching bundle of nerves with the pad of his thumb. As he quickens the pace, I start thrusting my hips upward to meet his probing fingers. He moves his mouth up and sticks his tongue in my ear, imitating the rhythm of his pounding digits. I feel my release fast approaching as he speeds the pace even further. My body tenses, and I spasm around his penetrating fingers. He keeps up the hectic speed until I come down from my high, and then he slowly stops the motion of his hand and withdraws his fingers from me.

He's nibbling on my earlobe, and I can't stand it anymore. I grab a hold of his head and draw his mouth to mine for a savage kiss. He breaks free from my hold when we are both breathless and starts kissing his way down my body. He does his normal routine of kissing my right collarbone and shoulder then making his way across my chest to my ravens. He kisses them as his hand skims skillfully across my skin, leaving a trail of fire. I drag in a jagged breath as he puts his burning hot, sweltering mouth on my breast and sucks the nipple between his moist lips. I feel his free hand cover my other breast, kneading gently. I arch my back off the mattress as he loves my enlarged breasts. He's always paid special attention to my chest but since they've expanded with the pregnancy, he seems to thoroughly enjoy himself. I grab ahold of his head and wind my fingers in his hair, holding him close to me as he licks, sucks, and nibbles on my hard buds.

"Tobias," I moan. He moves his mouth to my other breast, giving special treatment that only he knows how to give to the nipple, and I feel a ripple of pleasure move from the hard sensitive peak to my aching center. After he releases his hold on my throbbing breasts, he continues placing little kisses along my expanding tummy and pelvic bones. I spread my legs for him, anticipating the moment his mouth is on me. He kisses every inch of one thigh before moving to the other one and giving it the same gratifying yet tortuous treatment. My body starts squirming, trying to get his lips and tongue to land where it wants them but he keeps denying me. " _Please_." It comes out as a long drawn out, pitiful groan. He once again kisses the inside of my thigh. I leverage myself up on my elbows so I can watch what he's about to do. He grins at me and darts his tongue out of his mouth and starts licking all around my moist entrance. The initial contact on my nubbin almost makes me come. He gets a good hold on my legs, keeping me trapped against his mouth and licks lightly from just below my opening clear up and across my nubbin. My body physically shudders and shakes at the faint touch. I start panting as he keeps up the long, wet strokes with his talented tongue. When he draws the aching bundle of nerves between his lips, my head flops back, and he moves his mouth back to my thigh. He kisses me until it feels like the rapidly-departing orgasm will never be found again. He must like me watching what he's doing so I bring my eyes to his then concentrate on his tongue, which is dancing gently across my nubbin, letting him lead me back up the cliff I just so brutally descended. My breath starts coming faster and faster, and I thrust my hips up to meet his hot, wet tongue. I slip over the edge of a mighty cliff as his tongue never leaves the throbbing, sensitive bundle of nerves. He keeps up the swirl as another shock quakes through my body, and I collapse onto the bed, panting like a wild woman. When I open my eyes, he's above me staring at me with that damn cocky grin of his. I can always tell when he thoroughly enjoys _my_ orgasm because he wears this smirk. He slowly leans down and kisses my neck, sending a shiver of pleasure through me.

"Turn over," he huskily says into my ear. My tummy tightens at his words, and I do as he says and roll over onto my stomach. I feel his hands on my legs, spreading them further then I feel his weight on me as he places himself at my moist entrance. He applies a steady pressure and slides into me fully. I gasp at the feeling of fullness that I treasure. It hasn't varied one tiny bit from the first time he made love to me. I love the feeling of him deep inside of me, touching me everywhere at once … stretching me … filling me. There's absolutely nothing like it. He sets a leisurely in-and-out pace as he kisses my neck. I lace our fingers together and relish the feelings that he's providing. As we quicken the pace, our need starts to overwhelm us. He draws me up on my knees and starts thrusting into me vigorously as I forcefully move myself back on his hard length. After a couple minutes of this pace, I move off of him and turn around. I pull him down on top of me, and he covers my body with his and enters me with one driving thrust. I gasp and pull his mouth to mine just in time for him to catch my scream of pure pleasure. He pulls back, taking some of his weight off of me but leaving the majority, and stares into my eyes. He puts his hands on either side of my face and stares at me with such love and adoration as we slow the frenzied pace, prolonging this blissful moment. He kisses me tenderly as he makes love to me with long, slow, even strokes. When we let the passion build again to crazy heights, I push on his chest and he rolls us over. He relinquishes control, and I'm glad to take over. I press myself down fully to meet every one of his powerful upward trusts. I arch toward his possessive drives as I feel him swelling and lengthening inside me as we collide into one another. He flips us over, leans over me on his forearms as his fingers wrap themselves in my hair, and moves within me at a fast and frantic pace. I run one hand up his arm and grasp his shoulder tightly, and I run the other one over his back to cup his butt firmly, pulling him closer to me. He keeps up the impressive pace as my orgasm gets closer and closer. Just as I'm slipping over another steep cliff, falling toward my sweet death, he groans, and I feel him spill his seed into the depths of my body. He shudders as he continues to empty himself into me, and I have mini spasms of pleasure, rhythmically squeezing his manhood. Finally we slow then stop. He once again gives me his full weight for a minute or two. I know one day soon we won't be able to lay like this when we're spent because of the baby that's growing inside me so I take advantage of it right now and grasp ahold of him tightly not wanting him to move. He finally pulls out of me and gathers me into his waiting arms. He holds me close, caressing my cheek lovingly.

"Thank you," he quietly says. I tilt my head back and look into his eyes, his expression pained yet content. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"What, make love?" I ask. "I wouldn't have made love to you if I didn't want to. I wanted to, Tobias."

"I believe you," he says with a physically and emotionally exhausted smile. "We should probably get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a big day. Plus, I don't know about you but I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open."

"Are you going to be okay?" I ask, running the tips of my fingertips below his weary eyes. "I'm worried about you."

"Please try not to worry about me, love," he says kissing my hair. "It's not good for you or the baby to worry too much. I'll be fine. It's just going to take some time." He releases his hold on me, slides out of bed, and retrieves our discarded pajamas from the floor. He tosses me mine and watches me put them back on as he's sliding into his sleep pants. He climbs back into bed, wraps me in his arms, and pulls the quilt up to cover us. He stares into my eyes for a while before he speaks. "I love you, Tris. Thank you for everything you do. You mean the world to me. The news of Evelyn's death was ... shocking. On one hand, it made me ... sad, you witnessed the tears but on the other hand, it made me ... numb. I needed to make love to you tonight not because I was wanting to forget but because I was wanting to feel."

"I didn't know," I whisper. "When I realized you weren't looking for a distraction, I could have kicked myself. I'm so sorry, Tobias. For everything."

"I know you are," he says, moving his mouth to mine for a sweet, soft, tender goodnight kiss. When we part, I roll in his arms and he molds every inch of his body to mine, and I almost instantly fall into a peaceful sleep wrapped in the strong, loving arms of my husband.


	45. Chapter 45

The pitter-patter of little feet moving across the hardwood floor wakes me up, and I can't help but groan. I know it has to be early. It always is when he wants in bed with us. I drag my tired eyes open and find Tyler standing beside the bed staring at me. I can't help but smile at him, and he lifts his little arms up to me. I pull him into bed, and he climbs up and over me, snuggling in between Tobias and me. I look at the clock and realize we still have more than three hours before the alarm goes off so I run my fingers through Tyler's hair hoping he will go back to sleep. After a few minutes I slowly open my eyes and find him nestled up against my chest with a content look on his sleeping face. I stare at him realizing just how much I missed him this past week. I never want to be apart from him for that long ever again.

My eyes slide to Tobias, and I study his face. It's usually peaceful when he's sleeping but right now he looks tense, unhappy. He's taking his mother's death harder than I expected he would. I know I'm projecting my own feelings for her on to him. Of course he's going to grieve for his mother. I would be a mess if our roles were reversed. I've known a few people who have died but I've never had someone close to me pass away unless I count Al so I can't imagine what he's going through right now. I wish there was something I could do to help him through this difficult time. I reach over and run my hand through his hair but he doesn't stir. I close my eyes knowing I need to get more sleep because this is going to be a big day. We get to bring our little girl home today.

I try to go back to sleep but my mind is running a million miles a minute in hundreds of different directions. Tobias and I haven't done any shopping for the new baby yet. We decided to do it when we got home from our honeymoon so we have nothing here for her. I make a mental list of everything we need and wonder if we'll be able to pick it all up before we have to go to the hospital at 10 a.m. After lying in bed stewing about things, I decide that I might as well get up and take a shower. I get out of bed as carefully as possible, making sure I don't wake Tobias or Tyler. I head into the bathroom and turn the shower on, letting the hot water run through the pipes for the first time in over a week. I strip out of my pajamas and throw them in the hamper. I step into the steamy shower and stand under the hot water spray, letting it untangle my frazzled nerves. I take my coconut-scented body wash and squeeze it out on my nylon poof. I get a good lather going before I start spreading it all over my body. When I reach my chest, my breasts feel slightly bigger and they hurt. Just lightly running my hands over them is painful this morning. It's probably from all the recent sex. I move the poof lower, and I can't stop the gasp from escaping my parted lips. There between my hip bones is a protrusion. I swear yesterday I still had a nearly flat tummy. Peanut must have had a growth spurt overnight. I gently cover my bump with my hands and smile. Although I know I'm going to have a baby, it makes it real seeing and feeling the changes in my body. I take my time with the rest of my shower knowing there's no need to hurry. After I step out, I dry myself off. I once again run my hands over my little bump and relish the feel.

"Am I interrupting something?" Tobias asks with an odd sound in his voice. I meet his eyes in the mirror, and he gives me a little smirk. "I mean it isn't every day that I come into the bathroom to find my wife touching herself." I immediately drop my hands and blush from head to toe. I never thought what it would look like if someone walked in. I was just admiring where my baby is growing. I slowly turn to face him. He lets his eyes wander over my naked body, and when they reach my abdomen, they widen.

"I was feeling my tummy," I bashfully say. He takes a couple steps forward and puts his large hand over my small bump.

"How?" he asks, sounding mystified. "You weren't this way yesterday."

"Peanut must have had a growth spurt overnight," I say covering his hand with mine. We look into each other's eyes and smile brightly.

"I'm sorry for that crack about touching yourself. I can see that I embarrassed you. I didn't mean to," he say. "I'm truly sorry."

"It's okay," I softly say. "Will you do me a favor? Will you go get me something to wear? I got so used to running around naked while we were in Amity that I forgot to bring in an outfit." His eyes smolder at me for a moment.

"Do you want anything particular?" he asks when he realizes I'm not really in the mood to make love.

"Something comfortable," I say.

"Okay," he says. He leans over and tenderly kisses my lips then goes into our bedroom. He returns with just what I asked for. While he's in the shower, I put on the cotton bra and underwear set, stretchy black yoga pants, and form-fitting black t-shirt with various sized dark red circles all over it. When I'm done I go into the bedroom and stand in front of the mirror sideways. Yep, I'm definitely showing. I look toward the bed and see that Tyler is still sound asleep so I go downstairs and sit at the island making a list of items we need for Tessa. It has everything from diapers to a baby bed on it. The enormity of it is overwhelming. I look at the clock and pick up my phone. I send Christina a text and am surprised to get an immediate response. Within minutes I'm opening my front door to my overly excited best friend.

"I'm so glad you're home," she says while she's hugging me so tight I can hardly breathe. "Oh my! Look at you. You're showing now. What a difference almost two weeks can make. So is the baby here yet?"

"Evelyn had a long, hard labor and delivery," I say. "The baby was born right before midnight last night. Four and I have a healthy beautiful little girl but," I take a deep breath, "Evelyn had a heart attack and died."

"Oh, my God!" she says with shock on her face. "How is Four?"

"He's taking it pretty hard," I say. "It can't be easy. This is the second time he's been told she died. That has to mess with someone."

"I feel bad for him but I'm excited for both of you," she says with a smile. "What's her name?"

"Tessa Beatrice," Tobias says from the bottom of the stairs with a proud smile. "She was born yesterday, April 16, at 11:48 p.m. She weighed 6 pounds 6 ½ ounces and was 19 ½ inches long."

"Congratulations, Four," she says with a bright smile then her face goes somber and she adds, "I'm sorry about your mom."

"Thank you, Christina," he says. "It was a shock. I'm still processing it."

"I asked you over here to see if you could do us a _huge_ favor," I say. "We put off getting anything ... and I do mean _anything_ ... for the baby thinking we would have plenty of time after our honeymoon and now we have nothing for her and she comes home today. Four, Tyler, and I have to be at the hospital all day, and I have a huge list of things we need, and we don't have time to get them. Would you be willing to go shopping for us?"

"Sure! Anything to help," she says. If there is one constant in my life I can count on it is Christina and her love of shopping. "Do you have a list?" I slide the piece of paper to her. She reads over it and nods her head. "It's sizable but totally doable."

"If they have a baby bed that matches Tyler's bed, we would like that one. I also think we need two bassinets, one for upstairs and one for down here," I say, feeling a slight panic set in every time I think of bringing Tessa home. Tyler comes down the stairs dragging a blanket off his bed behind him.

"I'll get him ready," Tobias says, going across the room and picking him up. He carries him back upstairs for a bath. I instruct Christina to have someone set up one of the bassinets in our bedroom and the other here in the living room so Tessa will have a place to sleep when we get home, and she makes a note of it.

"We don't need a lot of clothes," I say, remembering the wardrobe she amassed for Tyler the day he came to live with us. "Just a few sleepers and gowns for right now. Before we leave for the hospital, we'll stop by the boutique and buy her an outfit to come home in and then go to the home store and get a car seat for her. We'll need you to get everything else."

"Okay," she says excitedly. A knock on the door interrupts our conversation. I cross the room and open the door to Will. "I told you I would be back soon." They exchange an odd look. I wonder what that's about. "Four and Tris' baby is here." Will beams at the news.

"Congratulations, Tris," he says. "What's her name?"

"Tessa Beatrice," I say.

"That's very pretty," he says.

"Have you two decided on a name yet?" I ask eying Christina. She seems about half again as big as she did just a week-and-a-half ago.

"We're still tossing around some things," Will says. "We're having a hard time agreeing. How did you and Four decide on a name?" I think about it for a while wondering why it was so easy to name her.

"Well, Four and I talked about what kind of names we like and don't like then we each made a list of our favorites. I vetoed some off his list, and he did the same with mine then we picked our favorites from what remained off of each other's list. We then took the names that were left and picked our favorite. It so happened to be his favorite name so I guess I did cave just a little but I love it just as much as he does."

"So you like old fashioned names the best?" Christina says. I know what "old fashioned" means to people in four out of the five factions, Abnegation!

"Actually you wouldn't know it by her Abnegation-sounding name, but the list was full of more unusual names," I say. Tyler walks down the stairs followed closely by Tobias and comes straight to me. I lift him up on my lap, and he wraps his arms around me.

"Would you two like to have breakfast with us," Tobias asks.

"We don't want to intrude. It's technically still your honeymoon," Will says. Tobias and I exchange a glance. They're keeping something from us.

"Alright, what's up?" Tobias says. Will and Christina look at each other. " _What_?"

"We don't want to upset you," Will says. Tobias slowly transforms into Four, and I see Will swallow nervously. "Try to stay calm, okay. Peter escaped from custody. We had him on lockdown but he disappeared during a shift change. We watched the security video immediately, it had been turned off … just like the night of Tris' attack. He has someone helping him, and we have no idea who it is. Tori and I questioned all the control room workers but they weren't helpful. They honestly didn't seem like they knew anything. No one was acting suspicious either. We did let them know that you would be speaking with them when you returned." I don't know what's worse, the petrified look on Will's face, the false calm on Tobias', or the fact that Peter escaped.

"Why wasn't I informed of his escape?" he says menacingly. Oh, this isn't good. I quietly tell Tyler to go to his room and play until we come get him for breakfast. I sit him on his feet, and he runs to the stairs then walks up them to go to his room. I get up and move in between Will and Tobias.

"We didn't want to bother you on your honeymoon," he says, raising his chin a bit, trying not to cower.

"That was nice of you," I say trying to diffuse the tension. Tobias glances in my direction with a hard look. "When did he escape, Will?"

"Thursday morning," he says, his voice low and somewhat shaky. My heart immediately starts hammering in my chest knowing there was a possibility that we could have run into him again while we were exploring the outskirts of Amity. Almost like he could read my mind, Will adds, "We put extra workers on the fence to make sure he didn't get back to Amity, and we also have two patrols searching outside the fence at all times. There have been no sightings outside the fence … _or_ inside. I'm sorry, Four. We thought we were doing the right thing by not telling you until you were home." Tobias sighs deeply and closes his eyes. When he opens them I see my husband again.

"I understand why you waited but I would have been happier if I had gotten the information as soon as that little bastard escaped," he says, also now sounding like himself. Will furrows his eyebrows and looks at us.

"If I were in your place I would be upset too," Will says extending his hand to Tobias. "I would have wanted the information if it involved my family."

"It's okay, man," he says shaking his hand. "The offer for breakfast still stands. Would you and Christina like to join us?"

"We would love to," Christina says happily. While Tobias makes us pancakes and bacon, she tries to get as many details as she can out of me about our honeymoon. I relent and tell her all about the lighthouse, street fair, concert, and the exploring. She hangs intently on every word. I'm careful not to give her any intimate details though but she can tell by my glow that things are back to normal. She catches me up on all the Dauntless gossip from while we were gone. I'm not really interested but she looks so happy that I don't have the heart to stop her.

After breakfast is over, we say goodbye to our friends and tell them we'll probably be late and won't see them until tomorrow. Tobias puts Tyler on his shoulders, and we walk down to the Pit. We get numerous congratulations, hellos, and glad your backs as we walk the path. We both blush slightly from all the extra attention. Near the boutique, we split up. I look for an outfit to bring Tessa home in while Tobias and Tyler purchase a baby carrier/car seat combination, which is also a stroller. I never knew such a thing existed. I'm still looking at the overwhelming number of little dresses when they come into the store to get me. They help me pick out the perfect little outfit, a black gown with the word love spelled out in leopard print fabric and a matching black hat with a leopard print heart on it. She's going to look so cute in it, and since it's a gown, it gives easy access to change her diaper. We pay for the item then finally leave. We make it to the hospital with just a few minutes to spare before 10 a.m. We walk up to the nursery and let the nurse sitting behind the counter know that we're here to see Tessa Eaton. She congratulates us on the birth of our daughter and leads us into a large private room. Tyler sits on the floor in the corner and plays with his toys, and Tobias and I sit on the small couch and wait for our daughter to be brought in. I feel nervous energy radiating off of me so I look Tobias' way to try and calm myself. I see a sadness and confusion in him, and if I'm being perfectly honest, there's also an anger about him.

"How are you?" I ask. "Is there anything I can do for you?" He looks into my eyes and smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"I'm upset I wasn't informed of Peter's escape. They should have let me know. We could have run into him outside of Amity. He could have been waiting in our apartment for you. What if he had tried to hurt you again? They should have said something," he says.

"You know that's not what I mean," I quietly say. "Your mom died last night, Tobias. How are you doing? I don't want to pry but you don't have to suffer in silence. I'm here for you." I run my hand down his face, and he gathers me up in his arms. He places his lips to mine for a light kiss. I hear Tyler giggling, and I tear my lips away from Tobias' with a slight groan. "When you're ready to let me in, I'm here."

"Thank you for not pushing," he says, hanging his head. "I honestly don't know how I feel other than guilty like I told you last night. That hasn't changed. And thank you again for last night." I meet his eyes and blush slightly remembering our lovemaking. I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him tenderly again ignoring Tyler's giggles. The door opens up and in walks Isobel pushing a pink hospital cart.

"Hi, Tris, Four," she says. "Congratulations on this beauty."

"You have got to be the busiest nurse in the city," I say with a smile. "I have to be honest, I'm glad it's you. I consider you a friend not just the city's best nurse."

"Thanks, Tris," she says with a blush. "I feel the same way. So, Tessa just ate. Right now I'm going to leave her here with you for some bonding time. Diapers are on the cart. I'll be back in an hour to start going over some important information. If you need anything, just call me at this number, and I'll come right back." She hands me a slip of paper with a phone number on it.

"Thanks, Isobel," Tobias says and I add, "We appreciate it." Tobias gets up and takes Tessa who is sound asleep out of the cart and hands her to me. This catches Tyler's attention, and he stares at us jealously.

"Why don't you come over here and meet your sister," Tobias says. Tyler slowly gets to his feet, leaving his toys where they fall and comes to us. He stands in front of me eyeing the little pink bundle in my arms. Tobias picks him up and places him on his lap so he can get a good look at his baby sister. "This is Tessa." He lifts his hand and strokes the baby's head tenderly. Tyler lifts his hand to imitate his big brother but stops when Tobias speaks. "You have to be _very_ careful with her. You can be nice, right?" He nods his head then strokes her head. She squirms in my arms a bit as he touches her but she never quite wakes up. We sit on the couch as a family, staring at this tiny miracle laying in my arms. After a while Tyler loses interest and returns to his toys. The more I study her face, the more I see Tyler and Tobias, which obviously means she takes after Evelyn yet I don't see her at all. I wonder if Tobias sees his mother when he looks at her. I would love to ask but he seems rather content right now, and I don't want to bring up the painful subject of his mother's death.

Isobel comes back in just as promised exactly one hour later. She starts by giving us information on basic newborn care: Bonding, swaddling, bathing, umbilical cord care, feeding, changing, safety, and what position she should sleep in. I have to admit, the onslaught of information is overwhelming.

"Tris, are you wanting to breastfeed her?" Isobel asks. I know I must be looking at her like she's crazy but her warm smile never falters.

"I can ... _breastfeed_ her?" I slowly ask, still not believing what I'm hearing.

"Of course you can," she says. "Erudite invented a pill that accelerates milk production in a women who is already pregnant. There are a few things you'll need to do to prepare yourself. You need to massage your breasts and let Tessa latch onto your nipples at regular intervals over the next 48-72 hours. Her suckling will speed lactation even faster."

"Yes, it's something I want to do. I didn't think I would be able to do it with her since she's adopted," I say. "I have a couple questions though. It won't be harmful to my pregnancy, will it and what about poor Tessa. She'll get hungry if there's no milk to feed her."

"I'll address your concerns about Tessa first," she says with a smile. "She is being fed donated breast milk until you are able to feed her yourself, and that is how you will continue feeding her until your supply comes in, which won't take long ... two to three days at the most. She won't go hungry, Tris."

"Wow," I say, totally shocked. "I had no idea. I didn't think anything like this was possible."

"For all the trouble Erudite causes, they do come up with some remarkable advances in technology once in a while," she says with a smirk on her face. "As for it harming your pregnancy, breastfeeding triggers the release of oxytocin, which is the hormone that causes contractions, so you will need closer monitoring throughout the pregnancy, especially in the later stages, and there is a chance of stronger-than-usual false labor before you actually deliver or even premature labor." That doesn't sound good.

"I don't know, Isobel. That sounds like it could hurt the baby and if there's even a slight chance that could happen, I don't want to breastfeed her," I say, exhilarated and apprehensive at the same time.

"I promise, we will watch you carefully, Tris, and I will let you know the physical signs of early labor. No, it won't harm the baby at all," she says.

"Yes, I want to be able to feed her myself," I say getting a touch emotional. I feel Tobias tighten his arm around me. I look into his eyes and smile. "I never thought it was possible."

"Hey, it's okay," he says reaching up and wiping away the stray tear. "Don't cry."

"I'm going to go get you the first dose of medication," Isobel says. "You will take it three times a day for the next two weeks. After the dose, we will put Tessa on each breast for 5 minutes and then you can give her a bottle." I look at Tobias and suddenly feel self-conscious. He seems to know what's going through my mind, and he caresses my face and smiles at me.

"I'll take Tyler to get some lunch," he says. "Do you want anything?"

"Tris will be brought lunch by the cafeteria workers," Isobel says. "How about you come back in an hour." Tobias, Tyler, and Isobel all leave the room at the same time leaving me alone with Tessa for the first time. She slowly opens her eyes, blinking a few times then her little pink lips shape a perfect round "O" as she yawns. I see that her eyes are an unfamiliar blue and something I read once comes back to me. A baby's eye color actually changes somewhere around two to three months into their permanent shade. She starts wrinkling her little nose. I can't help myself. I run my finger down her cheek, and she turns her little head toward my touch.

"I see she's hungry," Isobel says when she comes back into the room. I furrow my eyebrows at her then look back at Tessa. She's not crying or even fussing. She's just squirming in my arms a bit, nuzzling into my chest, and making the cutest little face. "Here, take this." She gives me a little paper cup with a large yellow pill in it and a glass of water. I swallow the pill down immediately.

"How do you know she's hungry?" I ask. "She's not crying."

"There are several different feeding cues," she says taking Tessa from me and laying her in the cart. "Crying is a later sign of hunger. With time you'll see them just as easily as I do. Some of the most common are putting her fingers or fist in her mouth; moving her head toward your breast while you hold her; making faces; sucking on her lips, tongue, or someone's skin; fidgeting, fussing, and basically moving around a lot; and sighing or whimpering."

"Am I going to get the hang of this?" I ask with a sigh of my own.

"Of course," she says. "Every first time mother has doubts. I did."

"You have kids?" I ask, stunned. I truly consider Isobel a friend but I now realize I don't know the first thing about her.

"Yeah," she says with a smile. "Twin three-year-old boys, Jace and Alec. I got their names from a really old series of books I loved as a teenager and to be honest still do. My boys are quite the handful. Even though I'm a nurse, and I know the details of childrearing, I totally freaked out. I'll let you in on a little secret. You can read every pamphlet and book available and talk to others, but nothing replaces firsthand experience. Remember that. You will learn to be a mother as you go."

"Okay," I say calming, knowing that even she had trouble when her babies were born.

"This is a nursing drape," she says handing me what looks like a large folded piece of thick but flexible paper. "Why don't you put it on then we'll get started. Like I said, we'll begin with five minutes on each breast then you can feed her for the first time." She turns her back and fusses over Tessa while I change out of my comfortable t-shirt into the revealing paper covering. This thing is worse than a dreaded hospital gown.

"Okay, I'm ready," I say.

"Why don't you sit in the chair? It's recommended to feed the baby on demand, which basically means whenever she's hungry. This is a nursing pillow," she says holding up a U-shaped pink pillow. "Place it on your lap so that the baby is right at breast height." I put the pillow in my lap, and she puts Tessa in my arms again. "That's great. Okay, tuck her tush into the crook of your arm. Run your forearm along the length of her back, supporting her head and neck with your thumb and forefinger behind her ears." I do everything she says as she says it. She adjusts my hold on my daughter a little then says, "You're doing great, Tris. This hold gives you total control over her entire body for the initial latch. With your other hand, hold your breast in a U-shape and put her up to it. This will make nursing much easier."

I take a deep breath, holding my baby the way Isobel showed me, and bring her to my breast. She instinctually starts sucking and it takes me a moment to get her latched on properly. The pulling on my nipple is foreign yet familiar at the same time and slightly painful, but there is nothing sexual about it like I was secretly afraid. I watch as she suckles greedily, amazed at the sight before me. After five minutes, I move her to my other breast while Isobel watches over me, encouraging me the entire time. Tessa latches on easier this time and suckles purposefully expecting milk but not receiving any. I have none to give her … yet. After nearly five minutes she wrinkles her little face and angrily starts wailing. This is the first time I've heard her cry. It's a pitiful little mewing sound that pulls at my heartstrings. My poor baby is hungry, and I'm not providing for her. Even though I know why I'm doing this, it makes me feel like I'm failing as a mother already. I cover myself up, and Isobel gives me a bottle with a few ounces of donated breast milk. I put it in Tessa's mouth, and after she calms down and gets a good hold on the nipple, she starts suckling greedily once again. She slows when the milk starts flowing from the bottle into her waiting mouth. I feel better when I see her getting the nutrition she needs.

After Tessa is finished eating she goes back to sleep almost immediately. I put her in the little bed, get redressed, and then eat the well-balanced lunch the cafeteria delivered while I talk to Isobel about her life, getting to know her better. She's actually younger than I thought she would be. She just turned 27 about two months ago. She was born in Candor but chose Erudite to be with her husband, Carter, who she met in upper levels. They have been happily married for eight years and just have the two boys, although she's been thinking about another baby recently. Her husband is a general surgeon who has hours three days a week at the small clinic across the street where Isobel spends most of her work days. When he's not performing surgeries or seeing patients at the clinic, he is a researcher at Erudite, trying to make all our lives better. He was supposed to attend our wedding with Isobel but he was called away at the last minute to perform an emergency appendectomy.

Isobel excuses herself after receiving a page, and I start to go over the pamphlet detailing breastfeeding she gave me, which includes positioning tips, feeding cues, burping techniques, and so much more. I finally put it in the diaper bag to read over later. My brain is on overload at the moment, and all I really want to do is to hold my daughter. I change her diaper then carry her to the couch just as Tobias and Tyler come back into the room followed by Sheila.

"Hello, Sheila," I say. "How are you?" An anxious feeling starts in the pit of my stomach and moves rapidly outward making me tremble internally. I hold Tessa just a little closer trying to help calm myself. Tobias joins me on the couch and puts his arm around me, expectation on his face. Tyler, not sensing the growing trepidation in the room, goes back to his toys and plays quietly in the corner.

"I'm good, Tris," she says. "Congratulations on the baby. I have some news for you two. Ethan Black was in the process of signing his parental rights away when he received news of Evelyn's death. I'm afraid he changed his mind, and now he wants custody of Tyler."


	46. Chapter 46

I close my eyes and inhale deeply through my nose, trying to calm my breaking heart. I knew my life was going too well lately and things had to start falling apart sooner or later. This day can't get any worse. First Tobias' mother dies giving birth, then we find out Peter escaped from custody, and now the man who didn't want anything to do with Tyler is going to take him away from me forever. The thought makes me start to hyperventilate and tears flood my eyes.

"Please calm down, love," Tobias says with obvious pain in his voice. "We're going to fight this."

"I am so sorry, Tris," Sheila says. "This turn of events was unexpected to say the least. I know it isn't a consolation but I totally agree with Four. You need to fight. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't speak directly to you but you and Four deserve to be his parents, and that is what will be in my reports and, if necessary, what I will testify to in court. Tyler will remain in your custody until a ruling can be made but Mr. Black will have supervised hour-long daily visitation with me in attendance. It's my hope that he realizes his mistake before this goes to court. I won't sugarcoat the situation for you. If it gets that far, the ruling will more than likely be against you. Ethan Black, even though he has shown zero signs of wanting to get to know Tyler, is his biological father, you are only his brother and sister-in-law. I suggest you get an attorney. I really was hoping to bring you some good news today. I'm _so_ sorry." She gets up and leaves us alone. I rest my head on Tobias' shoulder and start crying. I try to control myself but the combination of overwhelming loss and the pregnancy hormones has me sobbing like I've never sobbed before. Tyler gets up and comes over to us.

"Twis, you otay?" he anxiously asks. Words won't come right now so I just shake my head. Tobias takes Tessa from my arms and puts her in the little pink bed so she can sleep, and Tyler climbs up onto my lap. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. His little arms wrap tightly around my neck, and he holds me as I cry. Tobias sits down on the couch next to me and puts his arms around both of us. Finally I pull myself together, and I look into his eyes. I notice tears and realize he hurts when I do. This nearly starts the waterworks all over again. I wipe the tears off his cheeks and kiss his forehead.

"I'm sorry I made you cry," I quietly say. "I'm just sad." My voice cracks, and I practice the breathing technique Tobias taught me when I learned I was pregnant, trying to control my emotions.

"I sowwy you sad," he says putting his hand on my cheek. I cover his little hand with mine.

"I love you. You know that, right?" He smiles brightly, which makes me smile in return, and nods his head aggressively. I want to tell him that everything is going to be okay and that I'll never leave him. I want to tell him that Four and I are going to be his daddy and mommy from now on. I want to tell him so much but I know I can't ... I can't bring myself to say anything.

"Tyler, there is something that I should have told you when you woke up this morning," Tobias says very seriously. "You remember Mommy Evelyn right?" Tyler's demeanor changes immediately, and he frowns but nods his head. "I'm sorry, buddy, but she got really sick when Tessa was being born. The doctors did everything they could but she died. She's gone."

"Gone?" he asks.

"She went to heaven to watch over you," I say. "She loved you very much, and I know deep down inside," I touch his heart, "you love her very much. I'm afraid you won't be able to see her again." He doesn't look upset over the news but not happy either. I honestly didn't know what to expect since he had been acting so standoffish around her. He looks like he's contemplating something very serious when his face changes and he smiles a smile so bright it startles me.

"Stay wit you?" he says. I honestly hadn't anticipated this question but maybe I should have. I look into Tobias' eyes and see anguish on his face.

"Tyler, buddy, we're not sure who you will live with," he says. Tyler frowns at this and then his bottom lip gets to quivering. "Did Mommy Evelyn ever introduce you to a man named Ethan or a Mr. Black?" His head starts slowly moving back and forth. At least she was honest about that.

"Well ... he's your daddy," Tobias says. I want to scream no but I keep myself quiet. "He wants to get to know you, and if a judge says so, you'll go live with him." This brings tears to his eyes, and he holds onto me as tightly as he can.

"No wanna live wit him," he says between sniffles and sobs. "Wanna stay wit you." I look at Tobias and he nods his head at me. I pull Tyler back so we can both look into his worried, scared, and devastated eyes.

"We want that more than anything, Tyler," I say, stroking his hair. "That's why I was crying earlier." My words seem to make sense to him and he smiles. It's almost like he's happy we want to keep him. I pull him close to me and hold him until he falls into a peaceful sleep. We start to talk about the situation with Tyler when Tessa starts to whine. Tobias takes him from me and puts him on the bed while I tend to my daughter. Isobel had told me to nurse her every couple hours so I change into the paper gown she gave me. I have Tobias hand me the pillow, and I position Tessa the way she showed me and put her to each breast for five minutes. I see Tobias watching, and he has an amazed look on his face as she suckles.

"I've always thought you were amazing, Tris, but I see you in a brand new light," he says. I meet his eyes and see something I've never seen before. It borders on awe but I can't quite explain it. "You're feeding our baby."

"Not yet," I say as I look at the clock. I hand Tessa to Tobias and put my shirt back on. I grab my phone and text a new list of items that we need to Christina. She responds immediately, freaking a bit at my breastfeeding news but promising to get me everything I need. I sit down next to Tobias and smile. "She's hungry." Maybe I am getting better at this mother thing.

"How do you know?" he asks with a look on his face, which I imagine is similar to my own earlier.

"Can't you feel that?" I say. "She's sucking on your shoulder."

"No I really don't," he says. I go to the nurse's station, and the nurse on duty hands me the prepared bottle they were getting ready to bring me. This time I let Tobias feed her.

"She's a little piglet," he says after she's done and lying in his arms asleep. "She eats then falls asleep." He looks at her with such love in his eyes. "She's quite amazing."

"That she is," I say watching the man I love dearly hold someone I love just as much. It truly amazes me just how much I love her when I didn't even know her 24 hours ago.

"She reminds me a little of my mom," he says out of the blue. "She mainly looks like Tyler though."

"I see you in her," I say meeting his eyes.

"I can't believe she's gone," he says, tears glistening in his eyes. "I'm not sure I know how to grieve for her." I put my arm around him and lay my head on his shoulder.

"You just have to try," I say. "Cry, remember the good times, try to forget the bad. Live your life being a meaningful member of society. These are ways to honor your mother." He lays his head on mine and he's quiet for a little bit. When I realize he's crying, I move myself to wrap my arms around him. His sobs wrack his body, and I can't help but cry with him.

"I can't believe she left me again," he says in a shallow little voice. I move to look him in the eye.

"She chose to leave you the first time for reasons unknown to either of us," I say. "I'm sorry for that. I know it still hurts you. But there is one thing I know without a doubt. She didn't want to leave you this time. She loved you so much, Tobias. I think you know that deep down. Now she's in heaven watching over you and all your brothers and sisters." I lightly place my lips to his and kiss him.

"Thanks, Tris," he says, wiping away the tears. There's a knock and my mom peeks in the door. "I forgot to tell you, I called your mom and dad and told them about Tessa."

"Come in," I say with a smile. They come in and sit on the couch opposite us. "Would you like to meet your granddaughter?"

"Oh, Beatrice," my mom says with happy tears in her eyes. "It's hard to believe you're a mother already." Tobias gets up and carefully hands Tessa to my mom. "We didn't interrupt something did we?" She must have noticed his red-rimmed eyes.

"No, Natalie," he says. "You are welcome at any time. Tris and I were just talking about Evelyn."

"We're sorry for your loss, son," Dad says. He obviously told them about his mother as well as the birth.

"Thank you, Andrew," he says as he sits down next to me.

"Oh, she is _so_ beautiful," Mom says. "She looks exactly like Tyler. Where is he?"

"Asleep on the bed," I say. Right now he's curled up in a tiny ball at the foot of the big bed. If you're not looking for him, he's easy to miss.

"I take it you'll be adopting him as well," Dad says. I grimace from the pain that rips its way through my heart. "Did I say something wrong?"

"After learning of Evelyn's death, Ethan Black decided he wants Tyler," Tobias says. "I'm going to get ahold of Stephanie Misner first thing tomorrow and hire her to be our lawyer. We _will_ fight to make sure he stays with us where he belongs."

"The worst part of it is he was signing away his parental rights when he learned of Evelyn's death, and _that's_ when he changed his mind," I say. "He's trying to hold on to her by taking custody of Tyler. I'm praying he sees the error of his way and leaves him with two parents who know him and love him as much as we do." I bow my head trying to make sure my parents don't see the gathering wetness in my eyes. I do the deep breathing exercises and am able to look back toward them with a smile after a moment.

"I'm sorry. I wouldn't have said anything had I known," Dad says, sounding uncharacteristically angry. "If either of you need anything … and I mean anything at all, you let me know." His overprotective nature is showing, and I can't help but smile. I wish I would have seen this when I was growing up.

"Tessa is beautiful," Mom says, thankfully changing the subject. "What do you think of her?"

"I love her so much," I say. "The first time I held her I couldn't believe how deeply I felt about the little stranger. She's so tiny and perfect."

"She's amazing," Tobias says. "I didn't think I would ever fall in love with another girl after I met Tris but I was wrong. She stole my heart the first time I laid eyes on her." I move my mouth to his and let him kiss me softly but quickly. I'm not entirely comfortable with public displays in front of my parents.

"You two look so happy," Mom says.

"When it comes to that little girl laying in your arms, I'm ecstatic," I say. "There are other things that are extremely taxing right now but she's definitely not one of them."

"We're sorry that what should be one of the happiest times in your life is being clouded by other things," Dad says. I hear Tyler stir, and look to see him getting down off the bed. He comes to me and I pull him up to sit on my lap. "Look who's here. Andrew and Natalie came to see you and Tessa."

"Hi," he says with a sleepy little smile. "How you?"

"We're great, Tyler," Mom says. "Have you met Tessa?"

"Yeah," he says. "She otay." We all chuckle lightly at his answer. "Twis, I hungwy." I look at the clock on the wall and am surprised to see what time it is.

"Hey, buddy! Why don't we take Natalie and Andrew to the cafeteria and get something to eat," Tobias says. "Tris needs some alone time with Tessa anyway." Mom gives me an odd look.

"Actually, I would like Mom to stay," I say. After they leave, I explain to Mom that I'm going to be breastfeeding, and I have some preparation I need to do. Even though I'm nervous, I remind myself that she's my mom and used to change my diaper and feed me the same way. I get myself ready then have Mom bring me the baby. I do as Isobel instructed earlier and have her latch onto each breast for ten total minutes. When I'm almost done, she starts whining, letting me know she's unhappy with the current situation. "Mom could you go ask for a bottle for Tessa at the nurse's station? They're probably getting ready to bring it to me anyway." Just then the door opens and the nurse who brought Tessa to us last night comes into the room with my next dose of medication and Tessa's bottle. I take the large pill and swallow it along with the small cup of water then take the bottle and feed the baby.

"I have to admit, I didn't know it was possible to breastfeed an adopted baby," Mom says once we're alone again. "I'm proud of you. You have become such a lovely young woman in the past year."

"Thanks, Mom," I say. "To be honest, I didn't know it either until Isobel asked if it was something I would like to do. When she assured me that it wouldn't hurt Peanut, I consented. It's made me feel closer to her already. At first she cried because she wasn't getting fed so now the minute I see she's getting hungry, I do what I need to do to make my supply come in then feed her donated milk."

"She seems so content," she says. "You're very lucky. She's such a sweet baby. I'm looking forward to being her grandma. I'll spoil her with love. Happy birthday by the way. I know I'm a few days late but I guess it's better late than never." I stare at my mother like I'm seeing her for the first time.

"You've never said that to me before," I say in awe.

"Actually I have, you've just never heard me because you were always asleep," she says.

"Why change things now?" I ask thinking about all the Abnegation rules she has broken for me in the past year.

"It may be selfish but I'm tired of living such a restricted lifestyle," she says. "I'm not going to do it anymore. There isn't anything selfish about telling someone happy birthday. Just don't expect any more presents!"

"I don't need any presents. I never have," I say with a sigh remembering all the gifts Tobias has bought me. "Can you take her so I can get dressed?" Mom takes Tessa out of my arms and puts her in the little pink cart then turns back to me when I tell her I'm dressed again. "Do you have any advice about being a mom?"

"Love her the way you want to be loved," she says sitting down on the couch next to me. "You will learn to be a mother as you go. It really isn't something you can learn by reading a book, Beatrice. Every parent's experience is different because every _child_ is different. What works with Tyler might not work for Tessa when she reaches that age, and what you do for Tessa might not be what the new baby needs. You have to adapt for each child and not be hard on yourself. I know you, you have so much Abnegation in you that you've probably already thought at one point today that you're failing or unable to do this. Am I wrong?" I shake my head slowly at her. "Love her. Tell her every day. Show her every day. Those three things are universal for all children."

"Thanks, Mom," I say. "You always seem to know what I need to hear. I love you."

"I love you too, honey," she says.

"Twis, Twis!" Tyler says coming back into the room like a hurricane. "Got this fo you and Tess." He hands me a vase full of pink and white carnations. "Love you so much." He throws his hands around my neck and kisses my cheek. We're all laughing when Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo walk into the room.

"Hi guys. Do you have news on Peter?" Tobias says.

"Four," Purple-Hair says slowly. "I'm so sorry to do this, especially here but there has been a complaint lodged against you, and I'm here to place you under arrest and take you to Candor for reading of formal charges. I need you to put your hands behind your back." Tobias does as he's told and is handcuffed.

This has _got_ to be the worst day of my life. I feel like my world has dropped out from under me leaving only a raging river beneath that I'm now drowning in. Not only is Tobias taking his mother's death harder than I thought but we found out that we have to go through a custody battle with Mr. Black in order to adopt Tyler and there is no guarantee that he will get to stay with us, Peter somehow escaped custody while we were on our honeymoon and no one bothered to tell us, and now, to top it all off, trusted members of Dauntless are putting Tobias in handcuffs to take him to Candor. I have a suspicion I know what this is about but I can't bring myself to think about it. I remember Jack mentioning death is a possible punishment for assault at my father's interrogation, and Tobias _did_ assault Marcus on our wedding night but his bastard father deserved it, and there isn't a person who could have heard what his father said that wouldn't have wanted to beat his ass either. I push through the emotions that are dragging me down and turn to Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo.

"Where are you taking him?" I ask.

"All we know is Jack Kang called and told us to arrest Four and bring him to Candor," Snake-Tattoo says.

"I'm coming with you, Four," I say.

"You have to think about the kids," he says. I look at Mom and Dad.

"Go with your husband," Dad says. "We'll watch the kids."

"I'll be back as soon as possible," I say following Tobias out the door. I tell the charge nurse that I have to go, I'll be back soon, and that my parents are sitting with Tessa and Tyler. They are very understanding, especially when they see the leader of Dauntless being led out of the hospital in handcuffs. I run to the underground garage and drive as fast as I can through town to The Merciless Mart. I rush into the lobby demanding to see Four. Within minutes Jack and Niles meet me.

"He's not here yet, Tris," Jack say. I must have drove faster than I thought. They lead me to the Dauntless holding room where Tobias will be brought when he arrives.

"Can you tell me about the complaint?" I ask. "Was it lodged by Marcus?" The look on Jack's face tells me I'm dead on. "What's going to happen? I need him at home, Jack. Our daughter was born last night. We are supposed to take her home in a few hours."

"Congratulations on the birth of your daughter," he says. "I'm sorry for the timing but the complaint was filed just about an hour ago." The heavy white door on the opposite wall opens, and Tobias is brought into the room. Snake-Tattoo removes his handcuffs, and he comes straight to me and wraps me in his arms. Jack and Niles give us a moment before they begin. "Four, we can start now."

"Okay," he says. "What did I supposedly do? Let me guess? Marcus complained I assaulted him the night of my wedding. I'll save you the trouble of questioning me. I confess. I did it."

"You're right about who made the complaint," Niles says. "We would feel better if we could put you under truth serum though. I'm not suggesting you would lie but it is protocol with a formal complaint."

"Of course, I understand," he says. "Let's do this." He sits down in nearly the same spot Jason Grant sat when he was put under truth serum the first time during the list mess. Niles hands Tobias an alcohol swab, and he wipes off the left side of his neck. Suddenly I'm worried about what questions will be asked. He's Divergent. What happens if for some unknown reason divergence is brought up? I'm not sure I'm going to get through this without losing my mind. Niles injects the truth serum into Tobias' neck, and he slumps against the wall ready for his interrogation.

"Will you state your name," Niles says. I wonder if he ever gets tired of the initial questions.

"Four," Tobias says immediately and without condescension. Niles looks less than pleased with his answer though.

"Your full name please, Four," he says.

"Tobias Marcus Eaton," he says after hesitating for a moment and flinching. I hate that he's having to experience the debilitating fire in his veins.

"What faction were you born into and what faction did you choose?"

"I was born in Abnegation and chose Dauntless," Tobias says.

"What are your parents' names?" Niles asks.

"Marcus and Evelyn Johnson Eaton," he says.

"Are you married?" he asks, although he knows the answer already.

"Yes, to Beatrice Grace Prior-Eaton," Tobias says confidently with a wide grin.

"Did you assault your father the evening of your wedding?" Niles asks.

"Yes," he says matter-of-factly.

"Why?"

"Because he was unforgivably rude to Tris one to many times," he says. "I lost my temper and hit him a few times but he deserved it."

"What did he say to Tris?" Niles asks. Tobias once again pauses and a grimace transforms his face.

"He called her a slut and said she had me by the balls. He thought she wouldn't let me invite him to the wedding but that's not the truth, and I told him that. _I_ didn't want him there. The fight almost ruined everything. She almost called off our honeymoon."

"What else has he said to Tris?" Jack asks, suddenly seeming very interesting in the answers Tobias are giving.

"He is rude to her every chance he gets. He thinks she's the reason we have a very troubled relationship, which is so far off it isn't even funny," Tobias says with a humorless laugh. "He was even removed from the council for saying she must be a wildcat in the sack in front of her parents and a couple council members." I blush with embarrassment as Niles and Jack both glance my way. "He humiliated the woman I love, and I stood there and let him do it. So when he insulted her again at our _wedding_ , I lost it. I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to. He deserved and instigated what happened." Jack and Niles huddle together, talking.

"We have one final question for you, Four," Niles says. "What is your greatest regret?" He sits there with a confused look on his face not speaking. I worry that he must be in excruciating pain but it doesn't seem like he is. His eyes glaze further, and he looks around like he's searching for something.

"I allow my feelings for my parent's to dictate how I live my life," Tobias says, a severe look on his face. "I regret that I'm not strong enough to forgive them and just move on and live my life the way _I_ want."

"Thank you for your honesty," Jack and Niles say at the same time. Niles administers the antiserum to Tobias, and I go sit with him. He grabs ahold of me and hugs me tightly. We hold each other while they deliberate his guilt or innocence. Niles leaves the room and a moment later returns with Marcus.

"Four, once you apologize to your father, you will be free to leave," Jack says. A look transforms Marcus for a split second into the beast I saw in Tobias' fear landscape so long ago before he contains himself and it smooth's over. I imagine he was expecting a harsher punishment for Tobias.

"I'm sorry, Dad," he says sounding more sincere than I ever thought was possible. "I shouldn't have attacked you. That was wrong of me. Can you forgive me?" Marcus looks at Tobias with a strange expression on his face. He slowly nods his head Abnegation-style.

"I forgive you, son," he says. He turns and walks toward the door.

"Evelyn died yesterday," Tobias quietly says but it echoes throughout the empty room so that Marcus can hear it. He stops in his tracks but doesn't turn around. "I thought you would want to know." He hangs his head then continues out the door. Jack and Niles look at each other, furrowing their eyebrows. They obviously don't understand Tobias' relationship with his father.

"We're sorry to have interrupted your night but I knew we needed to handle this situation quickly," Jack says. "Congratulations on the birth of your daughter and the little one on the way." He points at my expanding tummy, and I automatically cover it with my hands.

"Thank you for everything," Tobias says. "Are we free to go? We really need to get back to the hospital."

"Of course," Jack says. We hurry out of the Merciless Mart and drive back to the hospital to relieve my parents and take Tyler and Tessa home.


	47. Chapter 47

Tobias is extremely quiet on our drive back to the hospital, and I wonder what's going through his mind but I decide not to pry. Instead of dwelling on him, I think about his father. Marcus might have said he forgave Tobias but I remember the look on his face. He thought turning him in for the fight the night of our wedding was going to at least land him in jail for a while. Marcus is obviously not done with his vendetta. That much is clear.

"Remember when I said that Evelyn's death made me second guess locking Marcus out of my life?" he asks out of the blue, startling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah," I say. It still surprises me that he said that.

"I changed my mind after his little stunt tonight," he says. "But I _am_ going to do everything in my power to forgive my parents … both of them ... so I can let this anger go and move on. It isn't healthy for me and it isn't good for us or our family."

"I'm so proud of you, Tobias," I say. "You've grown so much just since we met. If you need me to help with anything, I'm here for you."

"I know you are, and I'm so thankful for that, for you," he says. I lean across the seat and kiss his cheek.

"Can I ask you something?" I say.

"Anything," he says.

"Could you lie?" I say. "Under the truth serum, I mean."

"No," he says. "I couldn't. I will admit that I didn't try but I know there's no way that I could sit there lying, letting that fire burn through my body. I hope you never have to go through that ever again."

"I would walk through that fire every day if it meant protecting us," I say. "It's been a rough day, hasn't it? I can't wait to get the kids home so we can relax."

"I swear this has been one of the greatest days and one of the worst all at the same time," he says with a sigh. "If it weren't for Tessa, this would have been a pure shit day." I smile at him.

"I understand," I say. Within minutes we're pulling up in front of the hospital emergency department and parking. We walk up to the room we've spent all day in and find Mom feeding Tessa a bottle and Dad reading Tyler a book. They're going to be wonderful grandparents.

"Twis, Fo," Tyler says being the first one to notice our arrival. "You back!" He gets down off of Dad's lap and runs to Tobias who scoops him up.

"Yes, we are, buddy," I say.

"May we ask what happened?" Dad says.

"Marcus," Tobias replies with a sigh. "He turned me in for assaulting him the night of our wedding. I was interrogated under truth serum and had to apologize to him but it's over now." I still have doubts about that but I'll keep it to myself. I sit down next to mom and take Tessa from her. I feed my little bundle of joy the rest of her bottle then cuddle her. Even though I was only away from her for a couple hours, I realize just how much I missed her.

"Has anyone mentioned discharge?" I ask, suddenly anxious to get home.

"Yes. The nurse who brought Tessa's bottle said to let her know when you got back," Mom says.

"How about we take a little walk, buddy," Tobias says. "We'll be right back."

"I can't believe Marcus," Dad says when Tobias and Tyler leave the room. "Why would he do such a thing? Doesn't he realize what could have happened? I'm ashamed that I ever called him a friend."

"It all worked out," I say. "Four's here with me and the kids. _That's_ what's important."

"How did you grow up so quickly?" Mom muses, a contented smile on her lips. Tobias comes back into the room carrying Tyler followed by the charge nurse.

"We have Tessa's discharge paperwork," she says. "You'll need to fill out the forms, sign where the flags indicate, and then you're free to go."

"Why don't you change Tessa, and I'll fill these out," Tobias says. I put her in the pink hospital bed and get the tiny outfit out of its bag. I unwrap her from her swaddle and change her diaper. I look at her and the outfit and know I need help.

"Mom, can you help me?" I ask. She shows me how to get the gown on without thinking I'm going to hurt her, and then I put the little hat on her head. Even though the newborn outfit is tiny, it's too big for her. She looks absolutely adorable. Nothing can erase the huge grin from my face.

"Mrs. Eaton?"

"Yes," I say, turning toward my new name.

"I forgot to give you this," the nurse says after she comes back into the room. She hands me a packet of pills and a sheet of paper. "It's the remaining two-week supply of your lactation medication and all your instructions. Don't forget to pick up a 72-hour supply of milk to take home with you before you go." Tobias gives the paperwork he just finished filling out to the nurse, and she tells us we can leave when we're ready.

"Remember when I said there would be no more gifts?" my mom says. "That only pertained to you and your husband." She picks up a bag that wasn't here earlier. "You might need this." She hands the bag to me, and I pull out a soft pink cashmere blanket.

"Mom!" I say. "This is too extravagant."

"Do you have a blanket?" Dad asks. I shake my head and he smiles. "Then you _need_ that."

"Thank you, Andrew, Natalie," Tobias says. "We have so much to learn. I don't think either one of us thought of a blanket."

"I still think it's too much," I say under my breath. "Thank you, Mom, Dad. It was nice of you." Dad puts his arm around my mom, and they both smile at us. I cradle Tessa in my arms, and Tobias drapes the blanket over her. After we make sure we have everything, we all walk to our car in front of the hospital. At some point today, unbeknownst to me, Tobias set up Tessa's carrier and installed it in the car. He takes her out of my arms and fastens her in the seat then tucks the blanket all around her. "How are you getting home?"

"The bus," Mom says. "It actually will be passing right by here at any moment."

"Okay," I say, feeling a little better. I don't want them to have to walk home. It's too far and it's much too late. We say goodbye to my parents before they get on the bus then head for home. I look to the backseat often. Tyler falls asleep within minutes, and I don't hear a peep from Tessa.

"It's been a long, hard day," Tobias says.

"It's not over," I say. "This is just the beginning. She's going to be up every couple hours."

"I know," he says. "I'm nervous. I don't know what it's like to have a baby in the house."

"Me neither," I say then I smile brightly at him. "This will be another first for us to experience. I love that we get to do this together."

"Me too," he says pulling the car into our parking space in Dauntless' garage. We both look into the back seat and see two sleeping kids. He looks back at me and lightly glides the back of his hand down my cheek while staring deeply into my eyes. He gently tangles his fingers in my hair and pulls me to him. When his moist lips meet mine a jolt of electricity moves through me. He kisses me softly, tenderly. When he lets me go, my heart is hammering in my chest.

"I love you, Tobias," I say.

"I love you, too, Tris," he says giving me another quick kiss. "We better get the kids upstairs. Tessa will be wanting fed again soon."

"Okay," I say. I carry Tyler who is still sound asleep and Tobias takes Tessa, carrier and all, up to our apartment. We're stopped by numerous Dauntless members wanting to catch a peek at our new addition. We're as polite as we can telling everyone that we really need to get home. We finally make it to our apartment after a longer than normal walk up the path. I immediately take Tyler upstairs and get him out of his clothes and into his pajamas without waking him up. He's out like a light. I have to remind myself that it's been a rough day for him, too. I hope at least he can get a good night's sleep. I turn on his nightlight and leave his door open only a sliver. I turn on our bedroom light just in case he wakes up then go downstairs. Tobias gets the baby out of the carrier and hands her to me. I sit on the couch and stare at her. Yeah, she's getting hungry again.

"Do you need something?" he asks me as he watches me watch her. I smile at him.

"I could use a tank top and button-down sweater," I say. "Could you get that for me?"

"Of course," he says.

"Oh, Tobias. I left the light on in our bedroom for Tyler," I say as he heads up the stairs. I look toward the windows and see an old-fashioned-looking eggshell-colored bassinet with lots of lace. It's beautiful, timeless, and will work well for every baby we bring home in the future. I have to remember to do something especially nice for Christina. I look toward the kitchen and see numerous sacks piled up on the island. We have so much to do.

"Did you ask Christina to set up a nursery?" he asks when he comes back downstairs. I furrow my eyebrows at him, not exactly knowing how to answer. I did ask her to get a lot. "Literally, a nursery upstairs in the office. There's a crib that looks exactly like Tyler's bed, a dresser, a changing table, and another rocking chair."

"Um. Yes and no," I slowly say. "I asked her to get a crib that matched Tyler's toddler bed if she could find one but I never said anything about the other items. She wasn't wrong though. We needed those things too."

"I know," he says with a sigh. "I was just taken off guard." Tessa starts whining, and I realize I haven't been paying close enough attention to her.

"Will you take her for a moment?" He lifts her out of my arms, and I notice her turning toward his chest looking for food. I strip out of my skin tight t-shirt and bra and change into the soft spaghetti strap tank top and sweater. I take her back and ask Tobias to make her a bottle. I sit on the end of the couch and place her to my breast but can't get her to latch on. "Do you see a pillow in one of those sacks? I don't think I can do this without one." I hear him rummaging through the plastic bags.

"Yep, here it is," he says. "Christina sure did buy a lot." He places the specially designed nursing pillow across my lap, and I'm able to get her at the right angle to latch on. She's cranky but she doesn't start crying.

"I know. We needed a lot," I say. "I would have rather we got it, but we'd be screwed tonight if I hadn't sent her."

"I'm not complaining," he says with humor in his voice, "just stating a fact." That makes me feel better. I was beginning to think he was angry with her. Just as I'm finishing, Tobias brings me her bottle. "Will you check the temperature? I want to make sure I did it right."

"I'm sure you did fine," I say. I test the liquid on my inner wrist like Isobel showed me and find it to be perfect. I put the bottle in her mouth and she sucks like crazy. "Tobias, do you think she's okay? I've only heard her cry once. Aren't babies supposed to cry more often than that? I'm worried about her."

"I don't know, love," he says sitting down next to us, putting his arm around me. "I'm sure she's fine. If she wasn't, they wouldn't have let us bring her home, right?"

"You're probably right," I say. "I'm just being a nervous mother." He smiles lovingly at me.

"I love you," he says, placing his lips lightly to my temple. His soft touch makes me smile.

"I love you. We should talk about a few things," I say as I burp her.

"What things?" he asks.

"First, I need to take some time off work to bond with Tessa and figure out how to be a mom," I say. "I'm thinking I will go back on Choosing Day, which just happen to fall on a Monday this year. It's not quite three months but I think it should be adequate time to get my bearings. Does that sound okay?"

"It does," he says.

"If you need to add another person to leadership to take up the slack, I would understand," I say. "Especially since I'll have to take more time off to be with the new baby after only a few more months."

"If I feel that needs to happen, I'll discuss it with Tori and Will," he says. "What else do we need to talk about?"

"We need to do everything in our power to make sure we get custody of Tyler," I say. "We can't lose him, Tobias. _I_ can't lose him."

"I'm going to call Stephanie first thing in the morning," he says. "We will do _everything_ we can but know that it more than likely won't go our way." I flinch at his words. "I don't mean to hurt you. I would never intentionally do that, which you know but I won't lie to you either. It kills me to think of handing him over to his deadbeat dad but if the judge rules that way, there isn't anything we will be able to do."

"I know," I whisper. "Thank you for not sugarcoating it. You love and respect me too much to do that. I need to know if you want me to sleep down here tonight with Tessa so you can get some sleep."

"No," he says somewhat gruffly. "We stay _together_ … always."

"Okay," I say. "I didn't meant to upset you. I just thought that the entire household doesn't need to be turned upside down."

"If you're not sleeping, then neither am I," he says quickly kissing me.

"Let's go to bed then," I say. "Isobel suggested sleeping when she does, especially at night."

"Okay," he says getting up and taking Tessa from me. He puts her against his shoulder and rubs her back. She always looks even smaller than she is when he's holding her. I take my phone off the side table and snap my first photo. "Did you just take a picture?" I get up and show him the shot. He smiles. "Wow. That's a good one."

"Yes, it is," I say. "Why don't you take her upstairs, and I'll meet you in a few minutes." He kisses the top of my head then carries her to our bedroom. After I rinse her bottle and put it in the dishwasher, I gather as many sacks as I can carry and take them upstairs. I drop them in what eventually will be Tessa's room, making sure they're out of the way then go into the bathroom and get ready for bed. I change into a black cotton camisole and shorts set, which looks like it will be easy to nurse in. I take my last dose of medication then go into the bedroom and close the door behind me. Tobias is putting on a pair of sleep pants and Tessa is lying swaddled in the bassinet beside my side of the bed asleep. I'm skimming over the instructions the nurse gave me when Tobias gets into bed.

"What in the world are you reading?" he asks with definite humor in his voice. I give him a questioning look. "Your beet red." I didn't realize I was blushing, which makes me blush even deeper. "Care to share."

"I'm supposed to massage my breasts," I say, not quite meeting his eyes. "It's supposed to help with milk production."

"And this embarrasses you, why?" he asks, his voice full of affection.

"Abnegation rules," I say, quickly looking at him then away. He knows what I mean.

"Oh. We aren't supposed to touch ourselves in a ... _sexual_ manner," he says. "It's a good thing we're Dauntless then, huh?"

"I was worried before I put Tessa to my breast for the first time that I would find breastfeeding sexual in some way," I say, hating to admit it out loud to another person. "I absolutely love it when you touch or kiss my breasts. I was _so_ thankful when I didn't feel that way with her. What if the massage isn't the same?"

"Would it be terrible if you turned yourself on?" he asks completely serious. I'm quiet for a time thinking about his question. Not everything that was taught in Abnegation is wrong, but most of it is misleading.

"No, I guess it wouldn't," I say. "Would it be wrong of me to ask you to help me? It more than likely won't lead anywhere, I'm just too tired. Why would I want my hands on myself when I could have yours on me?" He smiles widely at me.

"That logic makes perfect sense to me," he says. "And I will be glad to help you as long as you promise to help yourself if I'm not home."

"Of course," I say. "I will do anything for her." I hand him the sheet of paper, and he reads it over. "Why don't you sit back against the headboard, and I'll lean against you. Do you think it would be easier with my cami on or off?"

"Off but I'm sure this could be done with it on also," he says, his eyes still on the paper. He sits up in bed, and I take my camisole off. His eyes glide over my naked chest before resting on my eyes. I can tell he's battling with himself to take another eyeful, and I can't help but grin. He's such a guy! I get my coconut oil lotion off the dresser and crawl across the bed and sit between his outstretched legs and lean into him.

"Here you go," I say handing him the luxurious lotion. "It says this is a good choice to use while breastfeeding since it's all natural." He takes the jar from me and opens it up. He dips some out and starts rubbing his hands together. I close my eyes and wait for the massage to begin. He gently starts rubbing my breasts with a light touch. At first he duplicates the motions in the pictures on the paper but soon he shifts, and he begins touching me the way he knows I like to be touched. He kneads each breast as he lightly kisses my neck. He gently rolls my aching nipples between his fingers, and I melt further into him, relaxed and stimulated at the same time.

"Why don't you lean forward and I'll do your back," he says in my ear giving me a chill where his hot breath hits me. I scoot my butt away from him and lean forward, giving him full access to my back, and he starts manipulating each and every muscle. He works on me until I feel like a big ball of goo.

"That feels so good, Tobias," I say on the verge of sleep. "I think I need to lie down." We both shift at the same time. He lies down as I lean back. We have to move our legs out of each other's ways but soon we're lying in each other's arms, totally content and relaxed. I'm almost asleep when I hear Tessa whining in the bassinet. I lean up and see all the signs that she's hungry again. I give Tobias an apologetic look. "It's going to be a long night."


	48. Chapter 48

The past two-and-a-half weeks have flown by faster than any in my entire life even though I swear I have mostly sleepwalked through them. Today is not only the first time I'm going to be leaving Tessa with a sitter but it's the first time she's left the apartment also. Tobias and I have to leave here at about 1:30 to be at Candor at 2 p.m. Jack Kang put off Jeffrey Walsh's interrogation until today as an apology to Tobias for having him arrested and interrogated less than 24 hours after our precious daughter was born. We're going to drop Tessa off later at Stella and Zander's, and I'm freaking out a bit about it. If getting answers about Dad's assault wasn't so important to me there's no way I would leave her.

We have to go to court on Friday for our hearing with Mr. Black to see who gets permanent custody of Tyler. He sees his father daily for 90 minutes of supervised visitation at the park with his social worker, Sheila. I hate seeing him go through this but there's nothing I can do about it except comfort him when he returns to me. I thought his reaction to Evelyn was severe but it was nothing compared to how he feels about Mr. Black. He wants absolutely nothing to do with him. He cries, begs, and pleads with Tobias and me not to make him go. We are strong and don't show our anguish until after he leaves, and then I breakdown and Tobias holds me as I cry, fury raging through him transforming him into Four. Tyler apparently has no interaction with Mr. Black for the 90 minutes they're together. Sheila tells us he plays with the toys we pack in his diaper bag and ignores his father, and if Ethan Black pushes him into talking, he cries. For every wonderful moment there has been with Tessa the past two weeks, there has been an equally painful moment seeing what Tyler is going through. Sheila tells us if it weren't for the judge's order, she wouldn't keep putting him through this traumatic situation. When he comes home, I hold him in my arms until he falls to sleep. Once he's had a nap, he returns to his normal self until the next day when the cycle repeats itself.

I've been successfully nursing Tessa 100% by myself since she was five days old, no donation necessary anymore. It took a lot of work and was somewhat time consuming but it was well worth it. When my supply came in and she was able to nurse, I actually cried. Tobias happened to walk in on me at that particular moment and thought something was terribly wrong. It took me a while to verbalize that everything was actually wonderful. I took my nipple out of her mouth, and he could see milk. He sat with me and together we both experienced our daughter getting sustainable nutrition from my breasts for the first time. It was amazing. He immediately went upstairs and came back down with the familiar-looking little white box wrapped with pink ribbon and a bow that he almost left at the lighthouse. He handed it to me and immediately started explaining that I would have to just be mad at him for giving me another gift. I couldn't help but laugh lightheartedly at him. He took our daughter from me, and I opened the little box, knowing what it was just not what it looked like. My newest charm for my charm bracelet was a handmade silver teddy bear he bought at the Amity street fair that he had customized with a diamond birth stone from the Dauntless jewelry store. I couldn't bring myself to chastise him for my precious gift. Every time I see it dangling off my wrist, I think of our perfect, pint-sized girl.

Little Tessa is the light of my life and the joy in my heart. I feel this way about two others only, her father and her brother. Tyler may not be ours … and may never be … but he'll always be her brother. I'll see to that. She's perfect in every way. I was so worried the night we brought her home that something was wrong with her because she didn't cry much. She still doesn't but it's only because she's so content and so loved. She nurses every two hours like clockwork during the day and every three hours during the night. I don't know how she knows her mommy and daddy need more sleep at night but she does. Tobias tells anyone who will listen that she's a genius!

We are both settling into parenthood quite nicely. I'll be glad when the time comes that she sleeps though the night so I can too. Lack of sleep is one of only two complaints I have right now. The other is a loss of intimacy with Tobias. We haven't had the chance to make love since we brought her home. If I'm in the mood, he's too tired and vice versa. Thankfully he still massages my breasts and back for me morning and night or we really wouldn't have any physical contact. I'm not complaining … I just miss him.

Peter unfortunately is still at large. Multiple patrols are assigned specifically to hunt him down and arrest him again. Tobias interviewed all the control room workers again like they were informed, with Will and Tori in attendance. Apparently, none of them were displaying any deceptive behavior, they all seemed very honest, they made strong eye contact, and they didn't seem to be protecting themselves from anything. When Tobias was done, he came to the same conclusion that Will and Tori did – none of these people are helping Peter. But this assessment doesn't sit well with anyone. Peter obviously has help within Dauntless and that person turned off a specific surveillance camera for a certain amount of time at least two different times. So if none of these people did it, who did? Most Dauntless don't know about the cameras so we need to figure out who outside the control room knows about their existence then interview them.

There has been an update on the woman who has been drugging men, including Will, in the bar and stealing points out of their accounts. She has started back up but she no longer is prowling the bar, she's stalking the nightclub. An additional 12 men have come forward since the wedding with complaints of missing funds after being admitted to the infirmary with extreme intoxication-like symptoms after spending the previous evening at Dauntless' nightclub. The worst part is there are no cameras in there to check. As odd as it may seem, whoever this sneaky assailant is she not only knows about the existence of surveillance cameras but she knows where they are but more importantly, where they're not. We're trying to come up with an undercover sting to capture her, but we're shy on the details.

Late last week, Tobias made the decision to add a fifth and final member to leadership. We had an impromptu meeting at our place so I could be in attendance to decide who the candidates would be. After much weighty conversation, Harrison Cosgrove, a typical middle-aged Dauntless member with long blonde hair he wears pulled back in a ponytail, multiple ear piercing, and numerous tattoos was chosen. Tori was his greatest advocate and biggest cheerleader, and she convinced the rest of us that he was the only candidate we needed to consider. I obviously haven't had a chance to work with him but Tobias says he's personable, intelligent, and humorous. In less than a weeks' time, Tobias is convinced that the right choice was made.

"Hey, love," Tobias says coming into the apartment, interrupting my reverie. "We're home." Tobias comes straight to me and gives me a tender kiss. Tyler follows close behind him and climbs up on my lap and buries his head in my chest. "What would you guys like for lunch?"

"Why don't you surprise us," I say leaning back on the couch holding Tyler. "How was your visit with Mr. Black?" He looks up at me and sticks his bottom lip out, pouting. "I'm sorry. Isn't there anything you like about spending time with him?"

"No," he says with pain in his voice then he sighs. Tessa starts whining, and I look at the clock. It's been two hours. I don't know who is more punctual and predictable, Tessa or Tyler.

"I have to feed your sister," I say, kissing the top of his head. "I love you. You know that."

"Moon back?" he says. His words tug at my heart.

"Yes," I say trying not to get too choked up. "To the moon and back." He hugs me tightly then gets down off my lap and runs over to Tobias who puts him in his booster seat at the island. I pick up Tessa, grab the nursing pillow, and sit down on the end of the couch. "Hey, little one. Are you hungry? Did you think Mommy forgot about you?" I pull my pajama top down, and she latches on to my breast and suckles hungrily. She doesn't need help anymore, she's a pro. When she's done, I change and swaddle her and put her in the bassinet so she can rest. Lucky baby gets a nap. Even as much as I love her, I would kill for a full night's sleep right about now.

"Are you ready for some soup and a sandwich?" Tobias asks.

"Yes, I'm starving," I say. I'm always hungry when I get done feeding her. I have started eating about six small meals instead of three large ones. I sit next to Tyler, and Tobias slides me a bowl of cheesy baked potato soup, half a turkey club sandwich with lettuce and tomato, and a bowl of fruit salad. I wash it all down with a large glass of milk. "Please tell me I have time to take a shower?"

"Of course, you do," he says with a chuckle.

"Good," I say taking my dishes to the dishwasher. "Can you double check the diaper bag and make sure I haven't forgotten anything."

"Sure," he says. As I head toward the stairs, I stop and pull Tobias to me for a tender kiss. I even ignore Tyler's little giggles. I pull away, gently glide the side of my hand down his face, and say, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says, strong emotion in his voice. I sigh and go upstairs to get ready to go to Candor. I've gotten so used to quick showers that I don't break the streak. I'm in and out within minutes. I wrap a fluffy towel around myself and go stand in front of my closet trying to figure out what to wear. I decide on one of the new stylish nursing-maternity dresses that Christina bought for me. It's a somewhat shimmery long-sleeved dark gray wrap dress that skims over my growing abdomen with a decorative tie belt that lies just below my expanding bust line. There's plenty of room in the dress to grow, and I'll even be able to wear it after the baby comes. But what I like most about the dress is that the wrap design makes it extremely convenient to nurse Tessa. I decide to pair the dress with simple black knee-high 3-inch high heeled leather boots and take the time to style my hair and put on my natural-looking makeup for the first time in weeks. I walk into my bedroom and look at myself in the mirror.

"You look fantastic," Tobias says in a husky tone from the doorway, startling me. I whirl around, placing my hand over my racing heart. His eyes roam over me.

"You scared me," I say. "Thank you though. It feels like forever since I dressed up. Where are the kids?"

"Tessa's asleep in the bassinet," he says. "Tyler's asleep on the couch. Poor little guy is exhausted."

"The judge better know what he's doing," I say angrily. "That poor child is going to need therapy if this doesn't end soon." He pulls me into his arms and holds me tight.

"We'll have our answer the day after tomorrow," he says.

"I really don't want to think about it right now," I say, my heart hurting. He puts his finger on my chin and tilts my head up.

"Whatever happens, we'll get through it," he says. He puts his lips on mine, and almost immediately I'm lost in his tender kiss. He slowly moves us until we run into the wall. The kiss deepens, and I groan loudly when I feel his hand glide up my body to cover my full breast. He kneads gently and I moan.

"Tobias," I say against his lips, breaking the trance and he moans. "We have to go."

"You're right," he roughly says, straightening up.

"Soon," I say. "I promise. It'll happen soon." I take his hand and lead him downstairs. "How long do you think we'll be gone?"

"Four or five hours I would think," he says.

"I'm going to pack three bottles just to be on the safe side," I say. "She ate a little over an hour ago, which means we'll have approximately nine hours before I _absolutely_ have to be back to feed her."

"You're a wonderful mother," he says. "I don't tell you that enough." I look up from the diaper bag and smile at him.

"You tell me that all the time," I say. I finish packing the prepared bottles and double check the number of diapers. When I'm confident that there's enough supplies for both kids in the diaper bag, I close it. Tobias picks up Tyler and places him against his shoulder then takes the bag from me. I pick Tessa up from the bassinet and drape the beautiful pink blanket Mom and Dad gave us over her. We walk the short trek to Zander and Stella's apartment to drop of the kids.

"Tessa ate a little over an hour ago," I say, looking down at my peacefully sleeping baby. "She eats every two hours. She hasn't had a bottle since I started breastfeeding so I hope you don't have any trouble getting her to eat. She's a pretty quiet baby. She'll wake up soon and stay awake until right after she eats."

"Tris, we've got to go," Tobias says. Something bordering on panic rushes through my body. Stella must recognize it because she gives me a knowing look.

"I know it's difficult to leave them, Tris," she says, speaking from obvious experience, "but I'll take good care of her _and_ Tyler. I promise."

"I know you will," I say. I put Tessa in her arms and feel the strong desire to snatch her back and run away as fast as I can. _Be brave, Tris_. _You can do this._ "We'll be back as soon as possible. Don't hesitate to call if you need _anything_." I probably sound like a maniac to her. She's had six babies. She knows what she's doing. I kiss Tessa's little head. "Mommy loves you." Then I kiss Tyler on the forehead. "Sleep tight, buddy. I love you, too."

"Tris." Tobias' voice is sounding stressed.

"I know, I know!" I say. We have to practically run to the garage, we're running so late. When we get in the car and are safely on our way to Candor, I decide to apologize to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that would be so hard. It wasn't that hard to leave Tyler at first."

"There's two reasons for that I imagine," he says. "First, you didn't love him when he first came to live with us. That might be harsh to say and hard to hear but it's the truth. Second, he wasn't a baby."

"Aren't you nervous at all about leaving her with Stella?" I ask, mixed emotions battling within me and to be honest I'm a little ticked off at him. "You look so calm and laid back about the whole situation."

"I didn't want to leave her or Tyler today for a lot of different reasons," he says. "We might only have a couple more days with Tyler. Even though this interrogation is of the utmost importance, leaving him with Stella is robbing me of what precious time I might have left with my _son_. I might not ever forgive myself for that." I stare at him. I had no idea he was feeling this way. "And as for Tessa, I can barely stand to leave her with you every morning when I go to work. This feels 100 times worse."

"Are you mad at me?" I ask, barely able to stand the thought of him being upset with me. He sighs.

"Of course not," he says reaching over and putting his hand on my knee. "I understand what you're feeling right now. The anxiety, the fear. It's quite overwhelming. If I sounded like I was angry with you, I didn't mean to come off that way." I close my eyes and relax into the car seat, practicing the deep breathing exercise Tobias taught me when we found out about Peanut. The thought of my unborn child makes me smile. "What are you thinking about?"

"Peanut," I say, turning my head to look at him with a smile on my face. "I have an appointment with Isobel on the 23rd. She's going to do the 20-week ultrasound. She told me that if I want, she can tell me the sex of the baby. Do we want to know?"

"I do," he says. "I think it would be easier to prepare if we knew if Peanut was a boy or a girl, not that knowing helped us with Tessa. Her birth snuck up on us, and we didn't have a thing. I appreciate Christina shopping for us but she always gets _way_ too much." I laugh at the expression on his face but I can't disagree. When her son is born, he is going to be the most spoiled child in Dauntless instead of mine.

"She is a bit excessive," I say with a chuckle. "I'm glad you want to know what we're having because I probably would have found out anyway then had a hard time keeping the secret from you. I just hope I get the news I want to hear."

"You want a boy, and I want a girl," he says matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, that's right," I say. "For some odd reason you want to bless our child with my gawky looks." He gives me a look of censure as we pull up in front of The Merciless Mart. "Sorry, I'm beautiful." I almost sound convincing this time ... almost. He parks the car and turns in his seat and gives me a severe look.

"When will you see yourself properly? Don't you remember our wedding day? Did Christina sit you in front of a mirror? Seeing you walk down the aisle toward me that evening was a high point in my life. You were beyond beautiful. The way you looked was … beyond words." I do remember looking at myself in the mirror before I walked down the aisle toward him. I'll agree. The woman who looked back at me matched Tobias in every way. I lean across the seat and kiss him roughly, passionately. I startle him at first but soon his lips are moving vigorously with mine, our hands tangled in each other's hair. A knock on the window brings us back to the present. I back away from my husband and turn to see my brother staring at me with a bashful smile on his face.

"Thank you for the compliment, Tobias," I say. "I love the way you see me, and I can see it now, I am beautiful." This time there's no hesitation in my voice. I give him another quick kiss then meet my brother outside. We hug each other tightly, and he kisses my cheek.

"Wow, look at you," he says. "Marriage and pregnancy looks good on you. So when do I get to meet my new little niece?"

"Anytime you want to stop by," Tobias says as he reaches us on the sidewalk. "Bring Cara with you, and we'll have a get together with Will and Christina." We know we're running late so we head into the building and up to the top floor for the interrogation. On our walk and elevator ride I tell Caleb all about Tessa and what a joy she is. We also talk about Tyler's custody battle a little, which tightens my heart.

"My little niece is a definite cutie," he says after I show him several pictures on my phone.

"You're not just saying that are you?" I ask with narrowed eyes, irrational pregnancy hormones making me question his sincerity. He laughs at me, shakes his head, and ruffles my hair like he used to when we were young children."

"She's gorgeous," he says. "She looks a lot like your husband. Poor girl."

"Hey!" I say. He puts both hands out in front of him.

"Kidding! Kidding!" he says.

"You better be," I say as we step into the cavernous interrogation room on the top floor of The Merciless Mart.

"I thought you learned when she punched you in the face that day not to rile her in her condition," Tobias says with a smile on his face. I just roll my eyes at him. We sit down next to Mom and Dad and within minutes Jack calls for quiet. A hush falls over the small crowd of onlookers immediately. The large door bangs open with an echo, and Jeffrey Walsh walks in flanked by two armed Candor guards. He sits in the interrogation chair that so many have sat in before him.

"Welcome this afternoon," Jack says. "I'm Jack Kang, leader of Candor." He sounds almost bored. "We are here today for the interrogation of Jeffrey Walsh who has been charged with the assault of Andrew Prior, the leader of the council. I will now hand the floor over to my colleague, Niles Murphy." Niles walks to the center of the room and stands by Jeffrey.

"I will be interrogating Jeffrey Walsh this afternoon. Like Jack said, he is accused of assaulting Andrew Prior, the leader of the council and a member of Abnegation. These are very serious charges," Niles says. "Jeffrey, I am going to be administering truth serum into a vein on the side of your neck. You will feel the effects immediately. Don't fight what you are feeling or you will experience pain. If you answer the questions immediately, there will never be any discomfort. Do you understand?"

"I do," he loudly says. Niles opens the familiar black box that he sat down on the small table just minutes ago and takes out an alcohol swab. He hands it to Jeffrey and instructs him to wipe off the left side of his neck, which he does then throws it away. Niles takes a syringe out of the same box and after tilting Jeffrey's head to expose the left side of his neck, he administers the serum. Like everyone before him, including me, he slumps in the chair and his eyes glaze over.

"Please state your full name for the record," Niles says. I see he learned with Tobias' first question a couple weeks ago to be a little more specific when asking for someone's name.

"Jeffrey Matthew Walsh," he says.

"What is your faction of birth and faction of choice?" he asks.

"Um," Jeffrey says, "I was adopted into Abnegation, and I chose Abnegation."

"What are your parent's names?" Niles asks. Jeffrey hesitates and flinches. "Matthew and Prudence Walsh are my adoptive parents, and Ethan Black and Evelyn Eaton are my birth parents." The pain had his words running together.

"Can you tell me where you were the morning of February 15 this year?" he asks.

"I had recently found out that my best friend, Robert Black, and his sister, Susan, are in fact my biological brother and sister. After learning we have the same father, Susan and I have been spending more time together. That morning I was walking to the Black family home to talk with her," Jeffrey says.

"When did you come across Andrew Prior?" Niles asks.

"The Priors and Blacks live on the same street," he says. "I was taking a shortcut between houses that morning. When I came around the corner near the Prior house, I saw two men dressed all in black assaulting Mr. Prior."

"What did you do?"

"I'm ashamed to admit this but I hid until they left," he said. "I watched as one held him while the other punched him repeatedly in the face. Almost as soon as I saw them, the big one dropped Mr. Prior, who landed in a heap at his feet, and kicked him. After that they turned and ran off. I went to him and checked on his injuries." His eyes seem to glaze further like he's reliving what he saw that morning. "His breathing was extremely shallow. He gasped then stopped breathing. We learned rescue breathing and CPR in upper levels so I did what we were taught until he started breathing again." When I hear just how close my father came to death that morning I can't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. Tobias holds me close, comforting me. I glance at my parents and see them in an almost duplicate position, tears and all. "I heard noises and thought the two men were coming back so I ran off. I was scared. I'm sorry." I see Niles ask Jack a question but can't hear their conversation. So we _still_ don't know who attacked my father. This gets more frustrating by the minute. The only good thing is that Tobias might be able to get to know his brother instead of witness his execution.

"Can you describe these men for us, Jeffrey?" Niles asks.

"Of course. I'll never forget them. Since they were both dressed all in black, I assume they are Dauntless. The first one was quite tall, muscular, and had dark wavy hair. He also had what looked like a tattoo on his upper back. I was able to see part of it coming out of his shirt. The other man was dark skinned and quite a bit shorter than the other one. He also wasn't as bulky. He had black hair that he wore cut close to his scalp." I can't help myself. I tense up and gasp. He just almost perfectly described Tobias and Zeke. I know it wasn't them. I was with Tobias that morning so it rules him out as being a suspect. What am I thinking? He would never hurt Dad. He would never hurt _me_ that way. He knows my family is too important to me. This is madness. I have to stop thinking this way. I see Jack eyeing Tobias suspiciously, and I want to scream.

"We have one final question for you, Jeffrey," Niles says. "What is your greatest regret?" He sits in the chair as still as stone.

"I regret having fallen in love with a girl who turned out to be my biological sister. I believe it could have been avoided if my parents would have just told me I was adopted at an earlier age. My feelings for her still plague my dreams," he says. Oh, that's the most scandalous thing I've heard during these interrogations.

"Thank you for your honesty," rings out, echoing throughout the chamber. I hope that last statement doesn't haunt him because his entire family is here including Susan and Robert. Niles does something that surprises me, he administers the antiserum to Jeffrey.

"Since all charges against Jeffrey Walsh have been proven false, he will be free to go home today," he says. Jack whispers something in Niles ear then comes to stand directly in front of me and Tobias.

"Can we talk, Four?" he asks.


	49. Chapter 49

This sounds remarkably familiar. After Robert and Ethan Black's interrogations, Jack Kang took Tobias aside and let him know that he figured out his true identity, and now here he is again wanting to talk after Jeffrey Walsh's interrogation. Jeffrey's examination under truth serum revealed that he is not the person who assaulted my father either. He said he witnessed two Dauntless members beating my father, and they sounded suspiciously exactly like Tobias and Zeke of all people.

"Do you have any idea who these Dauntless members could be?" Jack asks.

"We don't know for a fact that it _is_ Dauntless members who did this," Tobias says. "We've been fooled at every turn with this case. First we think it's Robert Black. Then we find out that it isn't him and that the DNA on Andrew is a perfect match to Jeffrey Walsh. Now today, we find out that's because he was tending to his wounds and gave my father-in-law CPR. I'm not saying that Jeffrey's memory isn't correct, but remember Cameron Wright. He dressed in a faction's color to blend in. This could be anyone in the city dressing in black to throw suspicions off of themselves and onto a faction that isn't always looked upon favorably." I look at Tobias and see that he's angry. "But there is something that you need to know. I don't want you to think I'm keeping anything from you. Jeffrey just almost perfectly described … my best friend, Zeke Pedrad, and me. But we did not do this. Andrew, I swear. I would never do anything like that."

"I know that, Four," he says. "You would never hurt Beatrice that way."

"He's absolutely right," I say. "He would never do something as horrendous as assault my father." I see Tobias cringe slightly beside me. I know what he's thinking. He may not be capable of hurting my father but he was able to assault his own not a full month ago and most everyone in this room knows it. I reach out and take his hand and silently apologize to him with my eyes. "Plus he was with me that morning. I could give you a timeline. Every single minute of that day is ingrained in my memory."

"I believe you, all of you," Jack says. He looks at us like he's contemplating a huge dilemma. "I'm not going to take any action unless we receive actual evidence pointing at you and your friend. I'm sure there are a lot of Dauntless members who look similar to you."

"You're not wrong about that," he says sounding relieved. I'm sure he doesn't want to go through a truth serum interrogation again anytime soon. Mine was months ago, and I _never_ want to do it again.

"I know how to get ahold of you if I have any questions," he says. He reaches out and shakes Tobias' hand then walks away from us. I look at the clock on the far wall and see that we've been here about two hours. My mind wanders to Tessa. I wonder how she's doing. She's more than likely sleeping right now.

"Thinking about my granddaughter," Mom says with a warm smile.

"Yeah," I say. "How did you know?"

"You kind of had a far off longing in your eye," she says. "I've seen it many times over the years on the faces of first time mothers."

"Does it ever go away?" I ask. "The panic to leave your child, I mean?" Her smile never falters one bit.

"Never, I'm afraid," she says.

"That's not what I wanted to hear," I say with a sigh. "I almost made us late getting here because I kept telling my friend, who is a mother of six by the way, what she needed to do with Tessa. I think she was silently laughing at me."

"I doubt that," she says sounding very serious. "I imagine she was remembering when she had to leave her oldest for the first time." I wonder if she's thinking about the first time she left Caleb.

"Thanks, Mom," I say. "You're so wise. I don't know what I would do without you." I see movement out of the corner of my eye and find Jeffrey approaching us.

"I owe you a debt of gratitude, young man," my father says when he sees his savior approaching. They both nod their heads at each other, respecting their customs. "I had no idea how bad things could have turned out that morning. My wife could be a widow and my children fatherless. Thank you for stepping up when you did and caring for me. I will never be able to repay your kindness."

"Please stop, sir," Jeffrey says with a blush on his fair-skinned cheeks. It seems that Robert, Susan, Jeffrey, and Laurel mostly take after Mr. Black while Tobias, Tyler, and Tessa resemble Evelyn more. "I was selfish that morning and stood by and watched two men beat you nearly half to death. I don't deserve your thanks."

"But you get it nonetheless," Dad frankly says. "You were scared, not selfish, and once you could, you helped me. That says a lot about your character. Beatrice, honey, your mother and I will wait for you in the lobby. I imagine Jeffrey is wanting to talk to Four. I want to see those pictures of my granddaughter before we go home. Caleb tells me you have a lot."

"Yes, I have tons of pictures! I just can't stop. She's so stinking cute," I say, smiling brightly. "We'll see you downstairs as soon as we can."

"I wanted to introduce myself to you," Jeffrey timidly says addressing Tobias after my parents and brother walk away. "Do you prefer Four now? When I spoke to Evelyn she called you Tobias." Wow! He talked to Evelyn? I wonder when that happened. Tobias looks his slightly younger brother over. His expression is guarded, which doesn't surprise me. He's protecting himself right now.

"I do go by Four now," he says. "I know it's an odd nickname, Jeffrey, but it was given to me during my first days of Dauntless initiation and it kind of stuck. May I ask when you saw Evelyn?"

"Jack Kang said he didn't want me sitting in a cell all day, every day not being a productive member of society. He made me volunteer at the hospital. I delivered flowers to an Evelyn Johnson a few times. I mentioned this to Robert when he was visiting me one evening. He told me that was my birth mother's maiden name. I got the nerve up to ask if she knew my father, Ethan Black, and when she confirmed that she did, I asked if she was Evelyn Eaton. I could tell by the look on her face she didn't like answering to that name but she finally said yes. I introduced myself and told her my story. She seemed very happy to meet me. When I told her about Laurel, the nurses kicked me out of her room. I think it was too much good news for one day, and it added undue stress to the baby. I felt really bad. After asking the nurses the next day, I brought Laurel to meet her. I'm looking forward to our next meeting." Tobias and I look at each other. He doesn't know about her death.

"Jeffrey, you need to sit down," Tobias says. He gives my husband an odd look but does what he says. "There's something you need to know. Evelyn went into labor on April 15. The wear and tear of the complicated pregnancy took its toll, and she had a massive heart attack. The doctors worked hard to save her and the baby but they were only able to save the baby."

"She's dead?" he asks, barely above a whisper, looking brokenhearted.

"Yes, I'm afraid she is," Tobias says. "I'm so sorry that no one let you know."

"What happened to the baby?" he asks.

"Her name is Tessa Beatrice, and my wife and I adopted her," Tobias says with a smile. Jeffrey sits staring off in space. I look into Tobias' eyes and see the pain that had started to lessen over the past two-and-a-half weeks return full force. I put my arm around his waist and hold him tight. It reminds me of the multiple times I held him these past couple of weeks as he cried over the loss of his mother. It hurts my heart to think about it. He leans over and lightly kisses me then sits down next to Jeffrey. He puts his hand on his shoulder and squeezes lightly.

"What's wrong, Jeffy," a petite girl with short wavy blonde hair, light olive skin, sparkling pale blue eyes, and a beautiful bright smile says. Tobias looks her over and grins.

"Hey, Laurel," Jeffrey says. "I would like to introduce you to our brother…"

"Tobias Eaton," he says interrupting Jeffrey. "You can call me Four though. That's what all my friends call me." She puts her hands over her mouth and giggles sounding remarkably similar to Tyler.

"I'm Laurel Walsh," she says. "It's nice to meet you, Four."

"It's nice to meet you too, Laurel," he says.

"Hey, kiddo," Jeffrey says, "I just got some bad news. Evelyn died giving birth over two weeks ago."

"Oh!" she says, her happy smile immediately turning into a pained frown. "That's terrible. I'm sorry for your loss, Four. It must be terrible for you since you knew her your entire life. Jeffy and I only met her recently." This little girl who is standing before me is wise beyond her years.

"Thank you, Laurel," Tobias says. "It's been a difficult few weeks."

"Where's the baby?" she asks sadly.

"She's at home with a babysitter," he says. "My wife and I adopted her."

"You're married?" she asks looking a little stunned.

"I am," he says smiling brightly. "This is my wife, Tris." He motions toward me.

"Hello, Laurel," I say.

"Have we met before?" she asks, looking me over.

"I don't actually remember meeting you before," I say, "but I grew up in Abnegation, too. When I learned you and Jeffrey were Four's sister and brother I remembered seeing you both around the faction over the years. As a matter of fact, I had several classes with Jeffrey in middle and upper levels."

"Are you Beatrice Prior?" she asks. I nod at her, surprised that she knows my name. "I do remember you. You volunteered at the soup kitchen with me and my mom sometimes."

"I did?" I say. I remember Saturday afternoon's serving hot lunches to the factionless in the basement of The Hub. It was something I did every week for nearly four years from the age of 10 to 14. "I haven't thought about those Saturday's in ages. You must have been quite young if we worked together."

"I was," she says. "I still wipe off tables there every Saturday afternoon."

"May I ask what happened with Evelyn remains?" Jeffrey asks.

"She was cremated," Tobias quietly says. "There was a service in the factionless sector with all her friends. I couldn't bring myself to go. We haven't scattered her ashes yet. I honestly don't know where to do it. I need to talk with Ethan Black. I think he knew her better than anyone." When he says Mr. Black's name, Tobias cringes a little. I hope Jeffrey and Laurel didn't see how he reacted to the mention of their birth father.

"When you decide where that would be, is it possible for my sister and me to be involved?" Jeffrey asks.

"Of course," he says. "She was your mother also. I'm hoping that we can get to know each other better, maybe have a relationship."

"I would like that a lot, Four," Jeffrey says. He looks over his shoulder toward his parents and brother after hearing his name being called. "Laurel and I need to be going. It was nice officially meeting you, Four, and you too, Tris. I look forward to getting to know you both and Tessa. Come on Laurel. Mom, Dad, and Aaron are ready to go."

"We go to Abnegation from time to time to visit my parents," I say. "Maybe you and Laurel could join us for lunch next time. I'm not sure when it will be. We haven't ventured out with the baby yet."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," he says. He nods towards Four and then toward me. We both respond automatically with nods of our own.

"It was nice meeting you, Laurel," Tobias says. "It was nice seeing you again, Jeffrey. We'll get together soon."

"Bye, Four, Beatrice," Laurel says nodding. They both turn and walk back to their family. It seems strange to see a child of that age not running all over the place carrying on like the kids in Dauntless do.

"I like them. I was afraid that meeting them would be awkward but it seemed very natural. For me at least," he says watching his younger brother and sister walk through the big wooden door with their adopted family.

"I liked them, too," I say. "I don't have a lot of memories of them from growing up but from what I remember the entire family was very nice and much respected. You don't have to worry about them anymore. They were raised well and look like a very close happy family."

"You don't know how that makes me feel," he says. "I worried about Laurel for so long before I knew who she was. That burden lifted today. We better get downstairs before someone locks us in here by accident." We laugh lightheartedly together before he takes my hand and leads me toward the elevator. We ride down to the lobby in comfortable silence. When we reach our destination, we sit in a small grouping of white leather loveseats and glass and metal tables with my parents and Caleb. I give my mom and dad my phone and let them scroll through the numerous photos I've taken. I've become quite obsessed. I'm thinking of taking Tessa for a walk one day soon and visiting Kirsten at the electronics store and buying a nice camera so I can document every moment of my kids' childhoods. Mom and Dad sit there with goofy grins I've never seen before on their faces, oohing and ahhing all over the place.

"Who are you people, and what have you done with our parents?" Caleb says staring, looking quite astonished. I can't help but laugh at his expression.

"Once you meet this little darling," Mom says holding up the phone with a picture of Tessa lying in the bassinet looking like a little angel in a pink gown and matching hat with a black and pink diagonally striped heart on the front, "you'll know why we're acting this way."

"Thank you, Natalie," Tobias says. "We think she's pretty special, too."

"When is the custody hearing?" Dad asks.

"Friday morning," Tobias says. "I'm taking tomorrow off, and the four of us are going to spend the day together as a family. I hope the hearing goes our way but in case it doesn't I want to make sure he has the best memory possible of our last day together."

"I hope things go your way. You deserve to be his parents," Dad says. "Natalie and I gave the judge our affidavits last week, and we told him you are wonderful with him."

"Thanks, Dad," I say. "We're keeping our fingers crossed." The mention of Tyler brings the panicky feeling back. I know how much Tobias resents his mother for abandoning him when he was a child. If we lose the fight on Friday, is that how Tyler will view me or will he just forget about me. I don't know which thought is worse.

"Let's not talk about Friday anymore," Tobias says, tightening his grip on my shoulders. "It isn't a very happy subject for either of us." My family respects our wishes and the subject of Tyler's custody hearing is forgotten, well not exactly forgotten but tucked away neatly in a corner of my mind. "I wasn't kidding earlier when I invited you and Cara over soon, Caleb. You can meet your niece and Cara can see her brother."

"I know she would love that," he says. "She's been talking about wanting to get together with Will and Christina since your wedding. I'll talk to her then I'll give you guys a call and we'll make some plans."

"That sounds great," I say.

"Is something wrong?" Tobias asks.

"I think we should get home," I say. He gives me a knowing look and nods his head.

"I think Tris is going through withdrawals," he says. "She needs to see the kids." I give him a dirty look but he's not wrong.

"Here you go honey," Mom says handing me my phone. "Why don't you come to our place Sunday for lunch?" I look up at Tobias and raise my eyebrows at him.

"Can we play it by ear?" he asks. Mom and Dad know exactly what he's saying. "We'll let you know."

"Okay, Four," she says. We get up, say goodbye to my family with hugs and handshakes, and walk out to the car. I lean my head back in my seat and within minutes exhaustion overwhelms me and I fall asleep. The car turning onto gravel wakes me, and I look around totally confused. We're not home. We're at the Navy Pier.

"What are we doing here, Tobias?" I ask. "We really need to get home."

"We gave Stella three bottles. She hasn't even had to use the second one yet," he says. "We can take an hour and have some alone time."

"I'm not sure," I say slowly shaking my head, my brain and heart battling each other as to what I want right now. "I think we should go. I don't want to take advantage of Stella's good-natured generosity. What if she finds out we didn't come straight home after the interrogation?"

"I think she would understand," he says, getting a very intense look on his face. Right before he pulls me close to him, he hits the release button on my seatbelt. He moves his mouth painfully slow toward mine, never taking his eyes off mine. The smoldering gaze he's giving me makes me feel like I'm melting in a desire-induced fire. When his soft warm mouth gently touches mine, I sigh and automatically part my lips. He takes full advantage and thrusts his velvety soft tongue into my mouth and meets mine aggressively. I wrap my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers in his curls as the kiss deepens past the point of yearning. We move our lips ferociously together, our tongues tangling wildly. When he moves away from me, I try to pull him back. I'm not finished.

"Do you still want to go home?" he asks, his eyes locked on mine.

"No," I roughly say. "We need time just you and me. I know that. I'm sorry I keep fighting you on it."

"Do you want to take a ride on the Ferris wheel?" he asks. Although that isn't _exactly_ what I want in this moment, I nod my head. We both get out of the car and cross the empty street hand-in-hand. We walk beside the partially abandoned buildings, past the carousel and trellis where we got married to the giant wheel.

"Hey, Four," the Amity operator says. "How are you?"

"I'm good," he says. "How has business been since opening it up to the public?"

"Busy," he says. "We've actually made enough money to start on the carousel restoration soon. Hopefully, one day this will be a city-wide destination like it was back when it was new. Are you two here for a ride?"

"We sure are," Tobias says. "We really haven't had a chance to enjoy my wedding gift." As he's handing the operator his identification card, it slips out of his hand and falls to the ground. They both lean over to pick it up at the same time and laugh.

"I'm sorry about that," the operator says handing the card back to Tobias. "I'm a bit clumsy today."

"That's alright. After you, Tris," he says putting his hand on the small of my back and leading me into the car. We sit down on the cold metal bench side by side, and the wheel starts moving. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me close. I rest my hand on his knee as I enjoy the feel of the cool breeze as the wheel slowly turns and look at the breathtaking view. From near the top, I swear I can see the entire city and when I turn my head to look toward Amity, I see the lighthouse.

"Are you okay?" Tobias asks interrupting my daydreaming.

"Of course," I say, looking up into his eyes. "Why?"

"You just sighed," he says moving his hand up to run his fingers through my hair.

"I did? I didn't realize I made a sound," I say. "If you look that way," I point off in the distance, "you can see the lighthouse. I was thinking about the honeymoon … reliving every moment."

"I miss it," he says. I feel his lips lightly moving on my neck and a shiver runs down my spine.

"So do I," I say. "I think we need to go back there every year on our anniversary."

"That's an absolutely wonderful idea. I wish I would have thought of it," he says obviously excited at the idea. "Every year, either the weekend before or after, you, me, and the lighthouse. Deal?"

"Deal," I say.

"I miss you," he says with a low sigh. I stare into his eyes and see a deep love radiating back at me. I also see much more. There is need, desire, longing, and arousal.

"We can't make love here, Tobias," I whisper. "Someone could see us. I want you, too, but," I shake my head, " _we can't_."

"Yes we can. We're nearly 15 stories up, love. No one can see us or hear us up here," he says as the wheel stops turning, leaving us stranded at the top.

"You planned this didn't you," I say accusingly.

"Yes, I did," he states. "I want you. I know you want me. I can see it in your eyes. You need it as much as I do."

"But they'll know what we're doing," I say barely audible, a blush heating up my face.

"I don't care," he says matter-of-factly as he takes my hand and drags it across his lap to the hard bulge in his pants. "Feel this. I _need_ you, Tris." Can I do this? At the very least the Ferris wheel operator would know we're up here having sex. Amazingly enough not only does that knowledge embarrass the hell out of me, I also find that it excites me. " _Please_." My body moves before my brain catches up with me, and I lunge at him knocking us off balance, and we crash to the cold, metal floor of the gondola with me sprawled on top of him. I kiss him fiercely as our hands run all over each other's body. I'm busy undoing his jeans as he is unwrapping my wrap dress so he can have full access to my overly excited body. He flips us over so he's laying between my parted thighs and places his lips over one of my fabric-covered mounds and kisses then sucks gently. A moan escapes my parted lips at the long overdue contact. I move his jeans and underwear down in one fluid motion as his hands reach down and slide my panties off my body. He positions himself at my moist entrance and plunges into me in one driving thrust, never taking his eyes off of mine. When I feel him deep inside of me – hot, hard, and throbbing – a calm settles over me. I'm home when I'm in his arms. I reach up and caress his flushed face.

"Make love to me, Tobias," I huskily say. "You're right, I want this." I pull his swollen lips back to mine and kiss him deeply as he slides himself slowly in and out of me. This unhurried pace doesn't last long as the profound desire we are both feeling overtakes us. I wrap my legs around his waist as he rapidly moves deep within me. After not much time, I feel his strokes shorten as he hammers into my tight depths searching for fulfillment. My breathing quickens and my heart races as I lift my hips to meet every one of his powerful thrusts. I know that neither one of us is going to last long. I pull his mouth to mine once again and kiss him fiercely as I come – violently, explosively. I feel his hard pounding length pulsate deep within me then he releases himself as he groans loudly. He collapses on top of me for a moment then rolls off. I lay there on the cold metal floor of the Ferris wheel gondola staring up into the cloudless blue sky waiting patiently for my labored breathing to return to normal. I turn my head and find Tobias staring intently at me.

"I should apologize for pushing you into something that I could tell you really weren't wanting to do. I've done that more than once lately. I'm so sorry." He stares intently at me then smiles brightly. "We did just made love at one of the places on my list though," he says. I chuckle at him.

"It was on my list also, although I will admit I thought it would be at night ... in the dark … with no one else around," I say reaching out and caressing his face. He captures my hand and draws it to his mouth. "And I'm not sorry. You know I wouldn't do anything I didn't want to. I _am_ embarrassed that a total stranger is on the ground right now knowing we had sex but on the other hand ... _knowing_ excited me and pushed me further."

"Really?" he says raising his eyebrows in surprise.

"I know. It surprised me too, Tobias," I say. "Does that make me awful?"

"Not at all," he says. "I'll be honest, there's no way in hell I would want anyone watching us make love but there is something about having someone _know_ that makes it hotter. I think that is one of the reasons the honeymoon was so good. Everyone knew we were having sex all the time."

"I never thought about it that way," I say with a violent blush. He leans over and lightly touches his lips to mine.

"We should get dressed," he says with a sigh. "I only had him stop us for 30 minutes."

"When did you ask him to do that anyway?" I ask, sitting up and reaching for my discarded panties, which are dangerously close to falling out of the car.

"When I intentionally dropped my identification card when I was paying," he says with a smirk on my face. "I asked him to stop us for 30 minutes when we got to the top. I think it was genius."

"Pure genius, Mr. Eaton," I say with a little laugh. After straightening his clothes, he gets up and holds his hand out to me, helping me to my feet. As I'm closing my dress, I realize I leaked some milk when he sucked on my breasts but thankfully the pads caught it all or my dress would be a bigger mess than it is.

"I really need to get home," I say removing the wet shields.

"Did I do that?" he asks pointing at my chest. I nod at him and it's his turn to flush crimson. I chuckle at him.

"I imagine that unless we totally stop making love while I'm breastfeeding that it's going to happen from time to time," I say, surprisingly being the strong one at the moment.

"Well there's no way in hell I can keep my hands off you," he says. We sit back down on the bench, he wraps me in his embrace, and he puts his mouth on mine for a long, slow, mind-altering kiss. Almost on cue, the Ferris wheel starts moving, taking us from our impromptu lovemaking session back to reality.


	50. Chapter 50

Tobias and I get back to Dauntless from Jeffrey Walsh's interrogation at Candor and our spur-of-the-moment Ferris wheel date shortly after 7 p.m. We immediately go to Zander and Stella's apartment to pick up the kids. I missed them too much to wait one minute longer. Tyler is happy to see us and eager to go home, and Tessa is sleeping contentedly in Avery's arms. I ask Stella how Tyler was, worried that he was upset to wake up from his nap and find that Tobias and I had left him but she confirms he was just like his old self when he woke up. She also tells me the baby was good but a little fussy, which shocks me. Tessa is a very content and happy baby, she never acts up at home. Stella states that she will be wanting to eat again soon so I take her from Avery, put her up against my shoulder, and rub her back. I don't know if it's comforting for her, but it is for me. I really missed her today. I thank Stella for taking good care of the kids then Tobias and I take them home. Stella was right about Tessa wanting to eat soon. We barely walk through the door when she starts sucking on her lips and rooting around.

"I'm going upstairs to feed her," I tell Tobias. I take her to her room, which is no longer a nursery-office hybrid. It's all hers. I sit down in the comfortable rocking chair, put the nursing pillow across my lap, and put her to my breast. "You sure are hungry, little one. Maybe you didn't get enough to eat today." I watch as she enthusiastically suckles, wondering why she would have been fussy today and getting a little jealous because someone else witnessed one of her firsts. Okay, maybe I'm losing my mind, crankiness really isn't a documentable first. "Did you miss your mommy today? Is that why you were grouchy with Stella? Your mommy missed you like crazy."

"Is she a good conversationalist?" Tobias asks from the doorway with a chuckle.

"She's kind of quiet but she's a _very_ good listener," I say, meeting his smiling eyes with a roll of mine.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to make some popcorn, and we're going to watch a movie with Tyler," he says.

"Isn't he supposed to be going to bed soon?" I ask. He hangs his head a little.

"Yeah," he says. "I guess I'm breaking the rules."

"I think it's okay for tonight," I say. "He'll more than likely fall asleep within a half an hour anyway."

"You're probably right," he says.

"Tessa and I will be down after she finishes, and I get her ready for bed," I say. He comes to me and gives us both a quick kiss, tells us he loves us, then turns and leaves me alone with our daughter. After she's done eating, I change her diaper and put her in a pink sleeper with black polka dots all over it and head downstairs. Instead of putting her in the bassinet, I decide to hold her. While I was still upstairs, Tyler picked out the movie _Cars_ , of course, and Tobias made some hot buttered popcorn. I sit down on the couch and put my feet up on the ottoman. Tyler sits next to me, excitedly bouncing up and down. Tobias brings us each a bowl of popcorn and some ice water, puts in the movie, and we sit side-by-side as a family and watch Tyler's favorite movie for what seems like the millionth time. I thought for sure he would fall asleep quickly but he's still wide awake, staring at the television screen while I'm feeding Tessa again. When the credits roll, I tell Tyler that it's time for bed, and he looks at me and starts pouting.

"Don't look at Tris that way, young man," Tobias sternly says. "We already let you stay up past your bedtime." He pouts even more hearing the scolding tone his brother is using.

"No wanna go to bed," he says, his bottom lip trembling slightly. "Wanna stay wit you."

"You know we have a special day planned tomorrow, right?" I ask. He nods his head at me. "Don't you think you should get a good night's sleep?" He looks at me with such a sad little face and something dawns on me. He's just as worried about losing us as we are about losing him. "I'll make you a deal, Tyler. How about I lie down with you until you fall asleep. Does that sound okay?" This gains me a smile, and he nods again. I hand Tessa to Tobias, and he puts her in the bassinet and proceeds to clean up the kitchen and living room from our spontaneous movie night. I pick Tyler up and carry him to his room where he puts on his favorite racecar pajamas and climbs into bed. I tell him I'll be right back, go to my bedroom and quickly change into a pair of sleep pants and a tank top then lie down beside him on his toddler bed, which isn't big enough for me to fully stretch out.

"Love you, Twis," he says around a huge yawn.

"I love you, too," I say as I stroke his hair. Within minutes he's fast asleep. I don't want to move to soon and chance waking him up so I rest my eyes while I hold him tight. When I drag my tired eyes open I look around confused. Although it takes me a moment, I soon realize that I must have fallen asleep in Tyler's bed. It's got to be close to time to feed Tessa again so I carefully get out of bed not waking Tyler and go into my bedroom to check on her only to find it deserted. The alarm clock's green glowing numbers catch me off guard when they let me know that it's nearly 7 a.m. That's impossible. I haven't fed Tessa once during the night. When I concentrate on how my chest feels, I realize how true that statement is. I go down the hallway to her room and find Tobias rocking her, feeding her a bottle. He looks very tired.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I quietly ask as I walk into the room.

"I came to get you around midnight but you were sound asleep and looked so peaceful with your arms wrapped around Tyler. I couldn't bear the thought of waking you up," he says. "You needed a good night's sleep, not that Tyler's little bed could be all that comfortable. You were exhausted." I put my hand on her head and watch as he feeds her and my heavy breasts start to throb.

"I'll be downstairs pumping," I say.

"Yeah, you're kind of huge," he says.

"Missing a number of feedings in a 24 hour period of time will do that," I say. I kiss Tessa's little head and then give Tobias a soft but quick kiss on the mouth. I make my way downstairs and take care of the uncomfortable sensation in my chest. Just as I'm putting the machine away, Tyler comes down the stairs. When he sees me, he runs full speed ahead at me.

"We go to the pawk today?" he asks when I'm holding him in my arms.

"We sure are," I say. "First we all need to take baths and eat breakfast. Then we're going to go to the commissary and get a picnic lunch that _you_ are going to pick out." He claps his little hands together then wraps his arms around my neck and holds me close.

"What next?" he asks.

"Then we'll go to the park," I say. "Just you, me, Four, and Tessa."

"Tess have to go?" he asks.

"Yes, your sister has to come with us," I say trying to hide a laugh. I know he loves her but he doesn't like that she gets some of the attention that used to be all his.

"Okay," he says. "What else?"

"We will spend the day at the park playing, we'll eat lunch, and if _everyone_ is good, then maybe we'll go have ice cream at the parlor in the city where Stella and Zander have taken you a couple of times," I say with a huge smile. "Does that sound like a fun day?"

"Yeah," he says. I take him upstairs and watch as he takes his bath. I feel better than I have in weeks since I was able to sleep all night. I was slightly irritated at first but this is one of the nicest things Tobias has done for me in a while. I need to remember to properly thank him. When Tyler is done with his bath I take him out of the tub and wrap him in a big fluffy towel then dry him off. I dress him in a comfortable outfit so that he can play unrestrictedly.

"Why don't you play in here while I take a shower?" I say. He agrees and I go into the bathroom. I take a quick shower, pull my hair back into a ponytail, and then head into my bedroom to get dressed in something comfortable with easy access to feed Tessa. Just as I'm slipping into a button-down sweater, Tobias comes into the room carrying our daughter. He puts her in the bassinet and just stares at her. I walk over to two of my favorite people in the world, and I suddenly wished I could see her through his eyes. I put my hand on Tobias' back and gently caress it up and down. He glances my way as I raise my eyes to his. I'm about to say something when his lips touch mine and my thought process goes out the window. We wrap our arms around each other, and he picks me straight up so he doesn't have to bend over anymore. I wrap my legs around his waist, never once letting my lips leave his. When he moves his mouth to my sensitive neck, I moan. He pulls back and looks into my eyes.

"Good morning," he says.

"Good morning," I say in return. "Thank you for letting me sleep last night. You don't know how much that means to me. I'm not exactly sure how I'll ever be able to properly thank you."

"That kiss was thanks enough," he says with a slight growl, which makes me giggle.

"As much as I would like to lock myself in this room with you all day, we have places to go," I say. "You better go take a shower. I'm going to take the kids downstairs and start breakfast." Before I let him go, I capture his mouth for another long, slow kiss. I know it's time to part when I hear a guttural moan escape his throat. I pull back and see tell-tale signs of arousal in his eyes. I look at him apologetically, and he sets me back on my feet. "I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too." he roughly says. While he's taking a cold shower, I imagine, I pack the kid's diaper bag with every necessity I can think of. First I take Tessa downstairs and gently place her in the bassinet, which I moved out of the sun, and then I follow Tyler as he walks down the stairs dragging the diaper bag behind him. It's so cute when he wants to help.

"Can you think of anything else that we need to take with us, Tyler?" I ask as I'm making bacon and eggs. He furrows his eyebrows as he looks up at me.

"Fo," he says with perfect sincerity and I can't help but laugh.

"We won't forget Four," I say.

"Is someone trying to leave without me?" Tobias asks as he comes into the living room.

"We would never leave you," I say with another chuckle, giving him a kiss when he reaches me.

"I would hope not," he says. "How would I ever survive?" I know he's kidding with us right now but there is a touch of pain in his eyes thinking about the possibility of not having Tyler around anymore. Tobias picks him up and puts him in his booster seat at the island and helps me in the kitchen with breakfast. We eat quickly, all of us excited for our day together.

"I think we have everything unless you can think of anything else," I say, rifling through the diaper bag one last time to make sure I haven't forgotten anything.

"No, I think we're good," Tobias says as he tosses Tyler up over his shoulder, making him giggle wildly. Then he hoists the heavy diaper bag up over his other shoulder. I pick up Tessa, lovingly cradling her close to my body, and we make our way down the path to the commissary so Tyler can pick out a picnic lunch for all of us. While they are busy doing that, I excuse myself and sneak over to the electronics store and buy a new camera from Kirsten. She talked me into a standalone camera when I was showing her all the pictures I have taken of Tessa and Tyler on my phone when she first came to visit me shortly after we brought the baby home. Now seems as good a time as any to buy one.

"This is the one I was telling you about," she says holding up a compact shiny black camera. _Of course it's Dauntless colored_. "It has a great zoom on it and takes wonderful pictures. We sell a lot of them, and I've never heard a single complaint."

"I'll take it," I say. "Does it have everything I need to use it in the box?"

"The camera, battery, charger, and memory card are all included," she says. "You might want to buy a case for it and at the very least another battery." She talks me into those extras along with another memory card so I'll never run out of room for pictures. She is really good at her job. I can see why she likes it. I pay for the items while she's fussing over Tessa then meet Tobias and Tyler right outside the commissary.

We walk as quickly as we can to our car in the garage, being stopped several times so different members can get a good look at Tessa. Many comment on how much she looks like Tobias then give us an odd look. I feel like screaming, "No, he didn't cheat on me," at the top of my lungs but I take deep, cleansing breaths instead and just smile and agree with them. After finally getting both kids fastened into the car, we drive to the park. Tyler is so excited about our day that he's literally bouncing up and down in his seat. Tobias drives us directly to the spot where we've had picnics and played in the past. While I set us up under a giant shade tree, Tyler and Tobias head toward the playground equipment. We brought a compact travel sleeper with a sunshade on it to keep Tessa out of the elements but it's such a beautiful day, I don't worry about her getting cold. I lounge against the tree on the blanket I spread out watching Tyler and Tobias run around, swing, slide, and play for about an hour. After I feed Tessa, I carry her over to Tobias. He sits on the little bench holding her while Tyler makes me push him on the swing for about half-an-hour.

"Who's getting hungry?" Tobias asks sensing I need a break.

Tyler pokes his hand up in the air as far as he can, and I say, "I could eat." We all go back to the fuzzy blanket. Tobias puts Tessa into the sleeper, and I unpack our picnic lunch from the car's built-in cooler, which consists of peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches, cottage cheese, bananas, potato chips, sliced apples with caramel dip, and a slice of chocolate Dauntless cake for each of us. I can't help but laugh at the mishmash of foods before us. You can tell it was picked out by a two year old. We eat slowly enjoying what could be one of our last meals together.

"Play some moe?" Tyler asks when he finishes his lunch.

"Of course you can," I say. "Just stay where we can see you. When you get tired, please come back and lie down and rest."

"Otay, Twis," he says. He kisses my cheek then runs toward the slide.

"I could use some of his energy," Tobias says with a yawn.

"Why don't you lie down," I say. "If you fall asleep, I'll wake you when it's time to go."

"I don't want to miss a single minute with him today," he says.

"I understand," I say. "Neither do I." After I clean everything up I sit down with my back up against the tree again. I coax Tobias into lying down with his head in my lap. I play with his curls as I watch Tyler sliding over and over again. After he's gone down the slide at least 50 times, I see a tall obviously factionless man approaching him. I shake Tobias awake and point toward Tyler. "There's a factionless man getting ready to talk to Tyler." He immediately gets up and goes to him. I see him talking but can't hear what he's saying so I just watch as the familiar-looking man interacts with Tobias ... and Tyler, which surprises me. Tyler shies away from most people, and he _never_ talks to strangers. Tobias picks up Tyler and carries him toward me followed by the man. I look him up and down and although I didn't recognize him at first the black eye patch is a dead giveaway. It's Edward.

"Tyler knows Edward," Tobias says sitting Tyler on his feet so he can sit down next to me. He yawns and lays his head in my lap where his brother's was just minutes ago and closes his eyes.

"How do you know Tyler?" I ask.

"Evelyn helped me when I became factionless," he says. "If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here right now. How is it you know Tyler and Evelyn?" I look up at Tobias and see him battling with himself.

"Tyler is my brother," he says. "He was staying with us while Evelyn was in the hospital."

" _You're_ Tobias Eaton?" he asks, shocked. I always thought of Edward as quite sharp but maybe he isn't as smart as I thought he was. I wonder why he thought we had Tyler.

"Yeah," he says.

"I'm surprised you weren't at Evelyn's memorial service," he says. "It was a touching ceremony. Not a dry eye in the place."

"I guess I wasn't ready to say goodbye to her yet," he says, once again sounding like Four, guarding himself.

"What's going to happen to Tyler?" he asks. I guess it's an appropriate question but it seems like it's a bit prying.

"We'll find that out tomorrow," is all I say. "Where is Myra?" He lowers his head and his expression becomes grim.

"We aren't together anymore," he slowly says. "After initiation was over and Drew and Molly were made factionless, I ... lost my temper I guess you would say. She left me after I nearly killed Drew."

"I take it you haven't seen Peter hiding out in the factionless sector then," Tobias says. Edward's expression becomes terrifying.

"No," he sternly says. "I learned a lot from your mother including forgiveness but if I were to lay my remaining eye on Peter Hayes, he would be a dead man. I owe him that much. My life was supposed to be ... different than this." His anger immediately takes me back to the dorms in the middle of the night when I found him with a butter knife sticking out of his eye. I think he is entitled to his anger with Peter.

"What is he wanted for?" he asks.

"Attempted rape," I say not letting on that I was another victim of his.

"I knew he was a son of a bitch but I didn't know he had _that_ in him," he says and I can't help myself, a scoff escapes my lips before I can stop it.

"He did some terrible things to other initiates after ... you," I say. "Unfortunately, we had the wrong kind of leaders at the time and nothing was done to him."

"Who is your leader now?" he asks sounding a little wistful.

"Me, Tris, Will, Tori Wu, and Harrison Cosgrove," Tobias says. "Even though I am technically the head leader, I like to think of us as equals." He's never treated me any differently than his equal.

"I take it you two are a couple," he says looking at our rings and matching tattoos on our left hands.

"We're married," I say. "We started dating right after initiation last year."

"Congratulations," he says. "I guess it makes sense that two Abnegation who joined Dauntless would find each other. Is that a _baby_?"

"She's adopted," I say.

"Ah, Evelyn's baby," he says leaning down to get a good look at her. "She looks just like Tyler. What's her name?"

"Tessa," I say.

"Beautiful name," he says then adds under his breath so low that I'm not entirely sure it's what he says, "Beautiful family."

"I'll ask Drew and Molly if there old friend has been in contact with either of them," he says.

"You're friends with them?" I slowly ask, shocked.

"I wouldn't call them ... _friends_ but they came and made amends," he says. "It wasn't easy but I forgave them with Evelyn's guidance. Even though I only knew her a very short amount of time, she was like a second mother to me. I was so sorry to hear of her passing."

"It sounds like you knew my mother very well," Tobias says.

"I did," he says.

"Can I ask you what some of her favorite places in the city were," he asks. "At some point in time I have to scatter her ashes, and I'm having a hard time figuring out an appropriate spot. I was going to ask her ... _boyfriend_ but we aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment."

"I didn't care for him either," Edward says. "He was a bit slimy if you ask me. Let's see. She loved the train yard, took Tyler there nearly every day. She would sometimes meet her boyfriend at the Navy Pier ... carousel, I think. Other than that, she really didn't stray much from the factionless sector."

"Thanks for the information," Tobias says getting a far off look in his eye.

"Well it was nice running into you two," he says. "If I hear anything about Peter, I'll get word to you, Four. You two have a nice family." He abruptly turns on his heels and briskly walks away.

"Are you okay?" I ask. He still has a far off daze to his eyes.

"Evelyn took me to the Navy Pier carousel from time to time when I was little," he says. "I'd totally blocked those memories out until he just said that. She would break the rules and let me play." He straightens up. "I saw her with Ethan Black." He looks into my eyes. "She took me with her to meet her lover. Nothing I learn about her ceases to amaze me."

"She let you be a real kid for a little bit," I say. "That has to count for something." My loving parents never let me play that I can remember.

"You're right," he says with an exasperated sigh. Tessa starts whining loudly, and I realize that I haven't checked on her for a little while. I take her out of the sleeper, change her diaper, and then latch her onto a nipple. Tobias lifts the blanket I have covering me – I may be more comfortable with breastfeeding but I don't need strangers watching me – and stares for a while.

"I love watching you nurse our daughter," he says, "and it isn't for the reason why you think. Although I _love_ your girls for _so_ many reasons, it still amazes me that you can feed her. I like witnessing the miracle firsthand." He replaces the blanket and puts his lips against mine. I kiss him tenderly, making sure not to let the passion build. I literally have two children in my lap.

"I love you," I say. " _Girls_?"

"Just trying it out," he says with a smirk. "Would you prefer boobs? Melons? Tata's?" By the time he's done, he's laughing loudly. I try to shush him but he wakes Tyler up anyway. "Sorry." He may say it but he has the devil in his eyes telling me he might not mean it.

"When did someone replace my strong, intelligent, self-assured, _mature_ husband with a horny teenage boy?" I ask rolling my eyes at him. I can tell Tessa is done so I hand her to her father and straighten my clothes up.

"I think Mommy is just jealous because she knows that I love you so much," he says, talking baby talk to her. "She thought I would only love her but then you came along."

I put my mouth against his ear and feel him shudder then say, "You're nuts!" then kiss his cheek with a loud smack.

"Ice cweam?" Tyler asks rubbing his eyes, looking at us like we have both quite possibly lost our minds.

"Are you ready to go to the ice cream parlor?" I ask, tickling him a little. He laughs and laughs. I love hearing him so happy. He hasn't had one bad minute today.

"Yeah, 'nilla," he says.

"Well it looks like we're done here at the park," Tobias says. We promptly gather up our belongings, pack the car, and head toward the center of the city where Zander told us there is a nice little ice cream parlor that makes homemade waffle cones fresh daily. The minute we pull up in front of the very normal looking building, Tyler starts clapping his hands indicating to me that we must be at the right place. We get the kids out of the car and walk into the very small shop and are transported back in time. The floors are made of what looks like black and white marble 12 x 12 inch tiles in a checkerboard pattern. On one side of the room runs a very long Carrera marble bar lined with chrome bar stools with crimson-colored vinyl seats. On the other side of the room, tucked under the windows are wooden booths with padded vinyl seat pads in the same crimson color. There is a white-painted tin ceiling and exposed ductwork running the length of the room. Behind the bar is an ornate soda fountain made of oak that's been stained a very dark color with shelves lined with fancy stemware and dishes. We walk up to the bar and order two single scoops of vanilla in a waffle cone bowl and a double scoop of chocolate in a dish. When we receive our order we sit in one of the booths to eat it. I savor every delicious bite of the extraordinary creamy treat, Tobias seems to rush through his, and I'm not sure how much of it actually ends up in Tyler's mouth. It seems like he's wearing most of it.

"What do you guys say to going home and having another movie night," Tobias says. "We can even make some pepperoni pizza in between films." He looks down at Tyler, and he's bobbing his head up and down excitedly. We finish our treat, and I make a mental note to come back here in the future. This was the best ice cream I've ever tasted. It would go _very well_ with Dauntless cake.

The rest of our night is uneventful. Tyler picks out _Finding Nemo_ and _Monsters Inc._ instead of _Cars_ for once for us to watch. After the first movie, Tobias makes a homemade thin crust pepperoni pizza, Tyler's favorite, and I take him upstairs to give him a bath and get him ready for bed so I won't have to do it at the end of the night. After the second movie, Tobias carries him upstairs and tucks him into bed, we both kiss him good night and retreat to our bedroom.

"Today was a wonderful day," I say as I lie Tessa in the bassinet. "I wish every day could be like this one." Tobias comes to stand next to me. He glides his hand down my face and stares into my eyes.

"I want to say something profound, meaningful," he says.

"Don't," I say, shaking my head and interrupting his speech. "I think's it best not to say _anything_ about tomorrow. Whatever happens, we'll deal with it, right? You and me ... always." He nods his head and sighs. He turn out the lights and crawl into bed. We wrap ourselves up in each other's arms, and I lay my head on his chest. "Just hold me, Tobias."


	51. Chapter 51

I can't fall asleep no matter how hard I try even though I'm safe and secure wrapped up in Tobias' arms. My mind just won't quiet down. At around midnight I take Tessa downstairs instead of to her room to nurse her. I fitfully doze on the couch between feedings the rest of the night instead of going back to bed to make sure Tobias and Tyler get a good night's sleep. Today is going to be a long, hard day for all of us, so I don't think we all need to be tired. Around 6:30 a.m., Tessa's crying wakes me up. Just as I'm putting her to my breast, Tobias comes downstairs.

"What are you doing down here?" he asks, sleep still evident in his voice, walking past me to make some coffee.

"I came down around midnight when Tessa got hungry," I say. "I couldn't sleep so I figured I'd stay down here and let you and Tyler get a good night's sleep."

"You didn't have to do that," he says from behind me. I feel his lips in my hair, and I look up at him and he gives me a quick kiss. "You know it doesn't bother me when she cries."

"I know," I say. "Let's call a full night's sleep a birthday present. Happy birthday, Tobias."

"Thank you," he says as he places a steaming cup of hot coffee on the side table next to me then sits down.

"She sure is hungry this morning," I say as I move her to my other breast. "Didn't mommy feed you enough in the night?"

"Thank you, love," he says. "You were hesitant about adopting her. I never thanked you for changing your mind. I can't imagine my life without her."

"Neither could I," I say, looking at the baby in my arms. "I love her more that my own life. I love her just as much as I love you. I didn't know such a thing was possible." He caresses my cheek with his fingertips then pulls my mouth to his. I momentarily get lost in his kiss until Tessa starts squirming between us. I look at her and she's giving us a dirty look.

"Is it just me or is she giving us the same look Tyler gives us when we're kissing?" he asks with such an odd look on his face. I study her face and see what he sees. I stroke her head as she continues to eat.

"You don't like Mommy and Daddy kissing do you, especially when you're all squished between us huh?" I say. "We're sorry."

"Twis, Fo," Tyler says as he comes into the living room. "Hi!"

"Hi, buddy," Tobias says. "Are you hungry?" Tyler nods his head at him. "Does anything sound good?" He wrinkles his nose in deep thought.

"Bluebewwy pancake and bacon," he says. "Milk."

"That sounds really good, and I think I might know how to make that," Tobias says, trying to suppress a smile. "Can you help me in the kitchen just in case I forget how?" Tyler runs past the island and Tobias sits him on the counter. I finish nursing Tessa, who just ate the most she's ever eaten before, as Tobias and Tyler make a delicious-smelling breakfast. I change her diaper then put her into a new little black and white polka dot dress that Tobias bought for her with a built-in bodysuit bottom and red cardigan sweater but I don't put her headband on yet. I'll do that right before we leave. She looks absolutely adorable in the simple little outfit. I put her in the bassinet, cover her with the soft cashmere blanket my parents gave her then sit at the island just in time for breakfast. We eat at a leisurely pace, thoroughly enjoying not only the delightful meal but the wonderful company.

When we finish eating, Tobias takes Tyler up to get him ready while I clean up the kitchen. I pick Tessa up and take her to our bedroom and place her in the bassinet. I pop into Tyler's room and find him sitting on the floor looking at one of his favorite books. I head into the bathroom knowing Tobias is almost done with his shower. I strip out of my pajamas and step into the stall with him. He's under the spray of hot water and didn't feel the temperature change. I let my eyes wander up and down his glistening naked body and a deep yearning hits me deep in the pit of my stomach. I reach out and touch his shoulder, and he turns and brightly smiles at me but his expression changes when he sees the desire burning in my eyes. I draw his mouth to mine and kiss him deeply.

"Happy birthday," I breathlessly say in his ear when I release him. I run one hand up and down his muscled chest as the other one wraps around his lengthening shaft. He stares down into my eyes as I stroke his rigid flesh. "I know it's supposed to be your day but can I ask you to do something for me?" He slowly nods his head. "Make love to me."

"I thought you'd never ask," he roughly says. His mouth lands on mine as he picks me straight up. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him forcefully. He immediately turns us around and sits on the little bench. I lift myself with my feet positioning myself over his throbbing manhood then slowly sink down onto every hard inch of him until we are fully joined together. We stare at each other for a minute savoring the feel then start moving against each other simultaneously. I lift myself then fall over and over on his hard length as he delves deeper into me with each upward rhythmic push. Our mouths mate hungrily as our hands grip each other tightly. I hold his head against my chest as I ride his thrusting extension, our bodies writhing against each other. We're both gasping for air when I feel him swell inside my tight depths. Wave after wave of intolerable pleasure wash over me as he groans in my ear, and I feel him explode deep inside of me. We collapse against each other, panting.

"God, I love you," I say. "Happy birthday."

"I love you, too," he says. He kisses me tenderly and lets his hands move to my oversized chest.

"Twis, Fo," Tyler yells over the water. "I thiwsty." We freeze in each other's arms.

"Will you go back to your room, and I'll bring you a glass of water soon," Tobias says, his face turning a bright shade of red in front of me. "We're almost done."

"Otay," he says. I see the door open and close through the distorted glass, and we start laughing hysterically, uncomfortably.

"Well _that_ just happened," Tobias says not quite meeting my eyes. "Ever since he moved in I've been petrified he would walk in on us." I'm too embarrassed to say anything so I just lift myself off of him and let him quickly finish his shower. He gives me another spine-tingling kiss then goes to tend to Tyler, leaving me gasping for air in the corner of the shower. Once I gather my wits I quickly finish my shower then get dressed in a Dauntless outfit that's suitable for court: A pair of black maternity dress pants, a dark gray slightly shimmery short-sleeved mock-layer nursing shirt with a gathered design on the front that glides down over my expanding abdomen, and a pair of black leather ankle boots with two-inch heels. I quickly style my hair and do my makeup then go downstairs. We have about an hour before we have to leave for Candor, and I intend to spend every minute that I can with Tyler.

"Hi, Twis," he says. "Look pwitty." I pick him up and carry him to the couch and sit down. Tobias is holding Tessa who is awake and looking around.

"Thank you, Tyler," I say. "You look very handsome in your shirt and tie." He has on a pair of black jeans and a black shirt with a dark gray, white, and black tie. "Is this new?"

"Yeah, Fo bought it fo me. He loves me," he says with a smile.

"Yes, he does," I say. I put my lips to his ear and ask him, "Have you told Four happy birthday?" His eyes widen and he smiles brightly.

"Happy biwthday, Fo," Tyler says. He carefully leans over Tessa and gives him a kiss on the cheek." I sit him down on the couch and go to an underused cabinet in the kitchen and return with two wrapped boxes. I hand the smaller one to Tyler, and he gives it to Tobias. I sit the other box on the table next to him and take Tessa from his arms. I sit down on the loveseat and watch as Tobias opens his gifts. He rips into the package and uncovers a simple black picture frame with a photo of Tyler in it. He's sitting at the base of the slide with a huge smile on his excited face. I see pain spasm through his features before a smile settles on his face.

"Did you get me this?" he asks Tyler. He nods his head enthusiastically.

"You like?" he asks.

"I love it," he says. "How about we put it on the bookshelf by the door?" They get off the couch and put it on a prominent spot right next to my Ferris wheel Christmas ornament. Tobias picks up Tyler and hugs him tightly. His eyes meet mine, and I see his heart breaking knowing this could be one of the last minutes we spend with him but when he pulls back and looks at the boy in his arms, it never looked like there was any pain there to begin with.

"You have another present from Tessa and me," I say pointing at the other package. He returns to the couch and sits down. He picks up the square box and unwraps it, looking at me while he does it. I just smile at him. He lifts the lid off the heavy cardboard box and is visibly taken aback. Inside is a small sculpture replica of the farmstead we found on my birthday, pond included.

"How did you do this?" he says just above a whisper.

"I made a call to Gunner the day after my birthday and told him about the area," I say. "It was supposed to be a Christmas gift but he called early last week and said it was done. I was amazed that it didn't take him any time at all to finish it. I arranged for him to bring it to me when you were out. As a matter of fact, our wedding pictures and lighthouse painting are here also, I just didn't want to spoil the surprise. We can look at them later. I promise, I haven't peeked."

"I swear he's such a talented guy," Tobias says. "When I look at this, a lot of wonderful memories come back to me." I silently reminisce with Tobias for a moment before he stands up and puts the statue on the bookshelf also, although on a different shelf. He comes back to me and Tessa and gives us each a kiss. "Thank you both very much." When he takes our daughter from me, she starts whining. We both look at her and try to determine if she's hungry again already. All the signs seem to be there so I take her back and sure enough she enthusiastically nurses.

"Should I call Zander and ask why she seems to be eating more all of a sudden?" I ask, unexpectedly worried about my sweet baby girl.

"Let me check something out. I'll be right back," he says. He runs upstairs and comes back within two minutes with one of the pamphlets Isobel gave me. "It says here that babies eat more and/or more often when they go through a growth spurt."

"I'd forgotten that," I say as I finish feeding her. "Are you going through a growth spurt, little one?" She just closes her eyes and falls asleep like my question thoroughly bored her. I change her diaper then put the little red headband adorned with three flowers with black crystal centers on her that goes with her dress. She's so adorable.

"It's time to go, Tyler," Tobias says as I put Tessa in her car carrier. Tobias carries her to the car as I walk hand-in-hand with Tyler right behind them. We all drive to Candor in near silence and pull up in front of the Merciless Mart more than five minutes before our court hearing is to begin. Since we don't know exactly where we're going, we head into the building and are escorted to the family court by a young dark haired boy. We walk through a wide monochromatic hallway to the back of the first floor to a large room I'm not expecting in Candor. It's has 10-foot dark cherry wood paneled walls and deep coffered ceilings in a matching wood tone. On the far wall is the oversized judge's bench in an ebony-stained oak. I look around and notice that all the benches and tables are ebony also. The only thing in this room that's typical Candor black and white is the checkerboard marble floor. There are no windows in this room to let in natural light so there are several fluorescent lighting fixtures above us casting a harsh light about the room. The heavy wooden door bangs open and Stephanie comes into the room followed closely by my parents.

"Thank you for coming, Mom, Dad," I say. "Today of all day's Tessa decided that she needs to eat more often so you might have to take her out during the proceedings and give her a bottle. That wasn't my intention. I had it so she would eat when we broke for lunch."

"Babies are unpredictable," my mom says to me. "She's grown quite a bit since we saw her last. That's why she's eating more. Oh, I love her little dress. Can I hold her?"

"Of course," I say with a smile lifting Tessa out of her little seat and handing her to my mother. I love seeing them together.

"Tris, Four, I need to speak with you," Stephanie says. "This hearing will be incredibly informal. That's how this judge likes to do things. Instead of calling several witnesses to the stand and questioning them he relies heavily on the affidavits that were gathered beforehand, which he has already read. He will take each of you and Mr. and Mrs. Black to his chambers individually and have an informal talk. The only one he will question here in the courtroom is Tyler's social worker, that way all parties involved can hear her conclusions and opinions. Do you have any questions for me?"

"How long does it usually take for him to make his decision?" I ask. "Will we know today?"

"Yes, he will deliver his decision today," she says. "A lot of your time this morning will be taken up with waiting. I'm sorry for that. In my opinion it makes a hard day, longer and harder."

"Give it to us straight, Stephanie," Tobias says, "do we have a chance at all to gain custody of him?" I give her credit for looking each of us in the eye and not shying away from the question.

"There's a chance, although only a slim one," she says. "All the judges in family court lean their decisions toward birth parents. The case of Evelyn losing custody was pretty rare but her factionless status was a big negative against her. The outcome today is going to be hard to predict. Both parties are married although you two have only known each other a fraction of the time Mr. and Mrs. Black have been married. You both have Tyler's best interest at heart: A healthy, stable, and happy home. Like I said, I can't guess which way the judge will decide."

"Do you think the fact that he was literally signing away his rights when he changed his mind and sought out custody will be a negative for him?" I ask. "And what about the fact that he had never acknowledged him before. Evelyn told Four that he never made an attempt to meet Tyler before all this happened. That has to be a strike against him."

"If I were the judge, yes. I don't look kindly on parents who abandon their children," she says, "and in my opinion, that's what he did." The opening door sounds throughout the courtroom, and we turn to see Mr. and Mrs. Black come into the room followed by their Candor attorney. I can't really bring myself to look at them. Tyler cowers when he see his father walk into the room, and Tobias turns the chair they're sitting in so he doesn't have to look at him. They sit at the table across the aisle from us and not a minute later the judge comes into the room.

Stephanie, Tobias, and I sit down at our table while Mom, Dad, Tessa, and Tyler sit behind us in the first bench. The door sounds again, and Sheila walks into the room and takes a seat next to Tyler. The judge picks up a heavy-looking gavel and bangs it down signaling the proceedings have started.

"My name is Judge Elliott Patterson," the older, white-haired gentleman says. "I have instructed your attorney's to tell you how these proceedings will go today. Have they given you these instructions?"

"She has," Tobias and I say at the same time Ethan Black says, "Yes."

"Very well," Judge Patterson says. "I have read every submitted affidavit. I will tell you right now, this will not be an easy decision. The minor child could be placed in either of your custody. For me to determine who is in the best interest of the child, I need to speak to each of you and to Tyler. We will then break for lunch then I will question Ms. Watkins on the stand. My final judgment will be delivered after a recess. It could be as little as five minutes or as much as hours long. Mr. Black will you please follow me. You may bring your attorney but it is not mandatory." He gets up from the long ebony table along with his attorney and they follow the judge through a small side door. I have nothing to do while the judge speaks to the others but sit and stew so I try to keep my mind off what's going on. I turn around in my chair and watch my mom fuss over my daughter while my dad sits quietly talking with Tyler. This is how my life should always be, surrounded by family. Tobias reaches out and holds my hand. We don't talk, we just try to enjoy this time with Tyler.

After about 30 minutes Ethan Black comes back into the room and Ellie follows the attorney out the same small door. I wonder what questions the judge asks. I wonder what I can say to make sure that he comes home with us. I stare at Tyler until I hear Tessa. She's wiggling around in my mother's arm. I let her be until she's rooting around.

"You better take your daughter. I think she's hungry," my mom says handing me the squirming infant who has her fist shoved as far as she can into her mouth. I cover myself and put her to my breast. I have to pry her fist out of her little mouth before she'll eat, she's getting so strong. Just as she finishes, Ellie Black comes back into the room. Their lawyer comes back in the room and speaks quietly to Stephanie. She nods her head and thanks her colleague then turns to us. It's our turn. Who wants to go first?"

"I will," Tobias says. He gives me a quick kiss then disappears with Stephanie into the judge's chambers. I hold Tessa close to me wishing I could be peacefully sleeping like she is right now. My body starts to tremble from the anxiety I'm feeling.

"Would you like me to take her?" my mom asks when the door to the judge's chambers opens and Tobias comes out.

"I'll give her to Four," I say with a smile. "Thanks for the offer though." I stand up when Tobias approaches me, and I gently place Tessa in his arms. "How did it go?"

"I think it went well," he says. "Just answer his questions. It's more like a conversation than an interrogation.

"Okay, thanks," I say giving him a quick kiss. I walk to the small door, take a couple deep breaths trying to calm my runaway nerves, and lightly knock. I hear someone say come in then walk into the small room that looks remarkably similar to the courtroom.

"Mrs. Eaton, please sit down," the judge says, pointing to the large leather wingback chair next to where Stephanie is sitting. "I see here your name is Beatrice but you go by Tris now. When did you change your name, Tris?"

"When I joined Dauntless last July," I say. "I wanted a new name for my new life. It's pretty standard where I live." He nods his head acknowledging that he knows a little about my faction.

"You left Abnegation also," he says. There is no question in this statement. "Did you and Tobias know each other as children?"

"I knew who he was growing up but I didn't meet him until he helped me out of the net my first day in Dauntless," I say. I see confusion on his face so I elaborate. "When you join Dauntless you have to literally _jump_ in. It's the first initiation test. If you don't jump, you're factionless."

"Okay," he says. The look on his face makes me think he loves gaining new information just like an Erudite does. "How long have you two been involved?"

"We started dating shortly before initiation ended," I say feeling the need to be completely honest in this situation. "We fell in love quickly. We've been married one month today." I can't believe I hadn't thought of that until right now.

"Congratulations," he says. "When did you meet Tyler?"

"I don't remember the exact date," I say. "It was sometime last December. Tobias took me to meet his mother, Evelyn. We were both surprised to find out he had a little bother. He didn't have a clue." The judge furrows his eyebrows and stares at me for a moment.

"Why wouldn't he have known about having a brother?" he asks. I scoff at his question.

"Evelyn abandoned Tobias as a child," I say. "He had only learned she was alive a year or so earlier. They weren't close."

"Alive?" he asks getting more confused by the moment.

"When he was nine-years-old, Tobias' father told him that his mother died during childbirth," I say. "That obviously was a lie. She left them and gave the baby up for adoption."

"Can you explain to me just how Tyler came to be in your custody?" he says looking down at a sheet of paper in front of him. I imagine he's checking to see if my story matches everyone else's.

"Of course," I say. "We we're called to the hospital on January 3rd with the news that Evelyn had been admitted with severe pregnancy complications. Tobias and I were in the process of adopting her baby so we raced to the hospital. When we learned that she needed to stay in the hospital until the baby could be safely born, we were asked to take Tyler home with us and given temporary custody."

"Was it difficult to take him home with you?"

"I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't hard at first," I say. "Neither Tobias or I had any experience with children let alone caring for one on a daily basis. We spoke with some friends who have children, and they gave us some advice. That helped us tremendously."

"You love Tyler," he says.

"More than almost anything," I say. He shuffles the paperwork in front of him and is quiet for a moment.

"Why do you think he should stay with you and your husband instead of his biological father?" the judge asks, staring intently at me.

"Tyler knows us and loves us," I say. "I believe he already looks at my husband and myself as his parents. I can honestly say I don't know how that happened, it wasn't something that was encouraged, but it did. All we did was make rules, enforce them, and love him with all our hearts just like any parents would do. I wish I could tell you exactly why, but he doesn't know Mr. Black, and I've witnessed the ... _stress_ it's put on him to be forced to see him on a daily basis. It's heartbreaking."

"Impressive answer," he says nodding. "I think that will be all. Stephanie will you please have Sheila bring Tyler in please."

"Of course, your honor," she says. We get up and leave his chambers and return to the courthouse. Stephanie relays the judge's instructions to Sheila, and she takes Tyler away. I go to sit next to Tobias.

"What did he ask you?" I say when I sit down next to Tobias.

"He asked some basic questions then he asked why I thought we would be better parents than the Black's," he says.

"Me too," I say relaxing a little. "I hope I answered his questions correctly."

"If you both answered his questions honestly, then you did the right thing," Stephanie says. "I don't know which way he's leaning. I can't even guess." I take the baby from my dad and place her against my shoulder. I pat and rub her back and place little kisses on her head from time to time. After a couple minutes, Tyler, Sheila, and the judge come back into the courtroom. He takes his seat behind the bench, Sheila sits down in the witness box, and Tyler goes to the gallery to sit with my mom and dad.

"We are running ahead of schedule, so I'm going to question Sheila about her observations before we break for lunch," the judge says. I reach under the table and lace my fingers with Tobias' and hold his hand tightly. "Sheila I would like to hear your opinion as to who you think should get permanent physical custody of Tyler."

"My professional opinion is that Tyler should be placed into the custody of Mr. And Mrs. Eaton," she says. "I have witnessed personal growth since he has been with Tobias and Tris. He was frail and malnourished when I first met him and displayed antisocial behavior. Within weeks of being in the Eatons' custody, he was completely healthy and opening up to people.

"I've observed Tyler with Ethan Black and I've never been so disturbed in my life. If the visits had not been mandated by the court, I would have discontinued them. Tyler's antisocial behavior returned, and he cried nonstop in the company of Ethan Black. I asked for Ellie Black's presence but was told that she didn't have the time to come to the visitations. In my opinion, Tyler should be left where he is."

"Thank you, Sheila," he says. "You may step down. I'm going to chambers. We'll recess for 15 minutes." We all sit tensely wondering how the judge will rule. Tobias and I sit staring at each other wondering what this day will bring. About 20 minutes after he left the courtroom, the judge returns to the bench. I can't tell by the look on his face what his decision is.

"This has not been an easy decision for me to make," the judge says. "Both parties have their pros and cons. I could easily see the minor child being raised by either couple. For that very reason I feel like I must give this child a chance to get to know his biological father. Therefore, physical custody of Tyler Aaron Johnson, goes to his father, Ethan Aaron Black, and his wife, Ellie Jean Black. Visitation for Tobias and Beatrice Eaton is terminated for 12 months to allow time for Tyler to bond with them. After that time, a schedule for supervised monthly visits will be drawn up." The judge slams down the gavel shattering my heart into a million tiny pieces, never to be whole again. Even though we half expected this decision I never in a million years thought that we wouldn't be able to _see_ him for an entire year. I don't think I'm going to survive this. I look over my shoulder at Tyler who is sitting looking very confused next to Sheila with tears running down his face. I manage to smile at him, he gets down, and runs full force at me.

" _Mommy, NO!_ " he cries at the top of his lungs when he rushes into my arms. He holds onto me with trembling arms. " _Wanna go wit you!_ " he wails. I thought it was bad before. My heart no longer exists. How am I supposed to love again after this moment? I've longed to hear him call me Mommy and when he does it's, he's being taken away from me. I'm just crushed. There's no other word for it.

"Tyler," I whisper in his ear as I hold him tight against my heaving chest. I can't catch my breath, and the room starts to spin. "I love you, Tyler. Tris loves you _so much_. Don't ever forget that. I'm going to miss you so much." Pain unlike anything I've ever felt before in my life spasms through my chest, my arms go limp, and my world goes black.


	52. Chapter 52

I drag my heavy eyelids open and find myself in an unfamiliar sterile room surrounded by several hospital-type machines making a lot of odd beeping sounds. I look around and find Tobias uncomfortably slumped in a small chair snoring lightly. He must be overly tired and stressed about something, it's the only time I hear him snore. On the other side of my uncomfortable hospital bed lies Tessa sound asleep in a little pink portable baby bed. She looks very content swaddled in an unfamiliar fuzzy white blanket.

I try to remember why I might be in the infirmary, my eyebrows furrowing in concentration involuntarily, but nothing comes to me. I take a physical inventory of my body and find no aches or pains so all I can do is wonder why I'm here. I think back to the last thing I can remember and when it finally comes back to me, my broken heart starts to race. I'm surprised that it still beats since it shattered like a glass ball into a million shards in that courtroom. The steady beep of the EKG jumps around irregularly and takes off like a racehorse. Tobias jumps out of his chair and lands on the bed, moving it a few inches in his haste.

"Tris, love, you're awake," he says, obvious anxiety in his voice.

"Where am I?" I ask. My voice sounds rough, distant.

"You're in the hospital in the city," he says, "in the obstetrics ward."

"The baby?" I ask fretfully. He wraps me in his arms, and I grasp his back tightly, wadding his shirt in my hands.

"Calm down," he says. "You're going to pass out again if you can't keep yourself calm." I close my eyes, breathing his scent in and out while I count the deep breaths I take. "If you think about it, you're hearing Peanut's heartbeat." I listen to the beeps sounding throughout the room. I try to ignore the erratic sounding coming from my EKG and pinpoint the galloping beat of the baby's heartbeat.

"You're right. I can hear it," I say, relief settling over me. "So why am I here? I remember most of what happened today but not everything. After a certain point it all gets pretty ... fuzzy. Maybe I shouldn't ask." A new wave of anxiety and grief wash over me as I cling to Tobias, sobbing. Everything that I can remember from what happened today in court replays in my mind. I want to run as far away as I can but I know this pain will never leave me. How am I supposed to live without him?

"You passed out in court," he says. "You scared the hell out of everyone, especially Ty…"

"Don't say his name," I say interrupting him. "I'm sorry but I-I just can't h-hear it right now."

"I know how you feel," he says, his voice just as tight as his grip on me. "My heart is breaking right now, too."

"What's wrong with me?" I ask.

"I don't know," he says. "The doctor hasn't been in to update me on your condition. You were brought here from the ER because they have more experience caring for pregnant women." Tessa's whimpering breaks through my grief and a small smile crosses my lips.

"Will you bring her to me, please?" I ask releasing my grip on Tobias. He gets up from the bed, walks to the other side of the room, and changes her diaper then carefully picks up our daughter. He gently places her in my arms, and I study her face for a moment. The fact that she looks so much like her brother sets my heart to hammering painfully in my chest, and tears come to my eyes again. The look on Tobias' face tells me he knows what's going through my mind. She starts rooting toward my chest, and I know that she's really hungry so I feed her. I usually let her sleep in peace after she finishes but today all I want to do is to hold her, mostly to remind myself that no one can ever take her away from me.

"How's our little princess doing?" Tobias asks, sitting down on the bed beside me.

"She's sleeping, like usual," I say, meeting his eyes with as much of a smile as I can muster. "She gets her belly full then she sleeps. I wish my life was that easy? Eat, sleep, have all my needs taken care of by others, not have a care or a worry in the world." I sigh. "I miss him so much, Tobias. I thought nothing could feel worse than when the judge gave him to the Black's but then he called me _Mommy_. I was elated and devastated at the same time. How am I supposed to come back from that? How am I ever going to recover from this? I feel like someone died."

"He didn't though," he says.

"I'm sorry, Tobias," I say with a grimace on my face. "That was thoughtless of me."

"You don't have to apologize," he says. "I know what you mean about how you feel. I'm going through the exact same thing that you are. Just remember that I'm here for you. You're not alone in this."

"I'm so thankful for that or I wouldn't make it through this," I say. "I love you. I wish this would have been a better birthday for you."

"I won't lie, I wish it was better also," he says. "I love you, too. Kiss me." I turn my head towards his and slowly lean in, barely touching my mouth to his. I purposefully move my lips with his. The kiss starts out tender, full of love then it deepens and becomes grief driven and pain laced. Someone clears their throat making us break away from each other. Just inside the door stands a young doctor dressed head-to-toe in white scrubs, shoes, and lab coat. It's a striking contrast to his dark skin and jet black hair.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Mr. and Mrs. Eaton," he says. Tobias takes Tessa from me and puts her back in her bed then sits down in the small chair to listen to what the doctor has to say. "My name is Dr. Wilson. I examined you when you came into the ER, Tris. I have looked over all the tests we ran, and it has been determined that you had a panic attack and passed out. We would like to keep you overnight for observation but it's just as a precaution. I don't anticipate any lasting effects from your spell. May I ask if anything like this has happened to you before?" I quickly think back over my life to this point.

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I passed out once before but it's because I'm pregnant."

"Okay," he says, making some notations in my chart. "I think it's safe to unhook you from the EKG but I'm going to keep the fetal monitor on overnight. Please don't worry yourself about this. Everything with the pregnancy looks good. I consulted with both Dr. Zander Parrish and Isobel Michaels. I updated them on your condition and received their progress notes on your clinic and infirmary visits." He looks at the chart again. "We normally don't allow overnight guests but since it says here that you are breastfeeding, we'll make an exception. Mr. Eaton, you may stay also if you would like. Do you have any questions for me?" Tobias and I look at each other.

"Do you think it was stress that brought on the panic attack?" Tobias asks.

"I normally don't like to speculate but after learning what you went through today, I would say yes, stress had a lot to do with it, especially if you have no previous history of panic attacks or psychological issues," he says. "Tris, I could give you the name of a psychologist if you think it would help to get you through this tough time."

"Thank you for the offer but I don't think that will be necessary," I say. "I have several people including my family who I can talk to if I think it's necessary."

"If you change your mind, please just let me know, and I will be happy to get you the contact information," he says. "If you don't have any other questions, I'll see you in the morning to evaluate how you are doing."

"Thank you, Dr. Wilson," I say, "but I don't think I have any other questions. I'm just going to rest. It's been a very stressful day."

"Some rest will do you good," he says. "I will see you in the morning." He leaves us alone and I scoot down in bed and stare at Tobias. He's gazing thoughtfully out the small window in the corner of the room. I know what's on his mind, it's what's on mine. There's a knock on the door, and Ellie Black sticks her head inside the room. I try to keep the anger off my face but I'm not sure I manage it. It isn't her fault that _my_ son was taken away from me and given to her to raise.

"May I come in?" she quietly asks.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," Tobias says, much too heartbroken to sound like Four at the moment like I'm expecting. "Tris isn't feeling well, and I don't want to jeopardize the health of our baby. I'm sure you understand. Plus we really don't have anything to talk to you about." He sounds so fragile right now. My heart breaks all over again.

"It's important that I say what I came to say," she says. "Believe me, you'll want to hear this."

"Okay, but if the monitors change, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," he says, sighing loudly. He gets up from the small chair he's been sitting in as I sit up again and takes a seat on the edge of my hospital bed. He holds my hand tightly making sure I don't fall apart.

"Ethan lied to me one too many times," she says. This is something that I wasn't expecting. "I think I need to start at the beginning. I've always been too trusting ... naïve, especially when it comes to that man. I'm sure you've heard the expression love is blind but I'm sure you've never heard anyone say that it is deaf and dumb also but in my case it is. Even though I knew about his relationship with Evelyn long before it turned physical, I turned a blind eye to it because I loved him ... and I still do ... with my whole heart. I told myself that as long as he kept coming home to me every night I was okay with him only giving me part of his heart. I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm just now beginning to realize that I'm not okay he cheated on me for our entire married life and has manipulated me along the way.

"When I learned that his affair produced not one child but _four_ , I thought about ending my life. I was _humiliated_. It was mortifying to find out about their existence not only in front of so many of our faction friends but the entire city during his interrogation. My one consolation was that I would never have to look those children in the eyes. I know how that makes me sound, but until you've walked a mile in my shoes, please don't judge.

"When Ethan told me Evelyn had died, I was ... well let's just say a lot of emotions went through me at that moment but I mainly was thankful that I no longer had to share my husband." I glance over at Tobias and see his jaw tighten. "I don't mean to mock your grief, Tobias. I know she was your mother and that you loved her and must miss her. That isn't my intention. I was just glad she was finally out of his life. Then he tells me that he wants to bring his youngest son home to live with us. To be raised as _ours_. I said absolutely not. I was not going to bring the product of _his_ affair into _my_ home. I couldn't do it. I didn't _want_ to do it. I told him that many times but he didn't listen to my concerns and ignored my feelings. He was only worried about _his_ feelings.

"To get me on his side, he told me he had a very close relationship with Tyler before he came to live with you two and that it hurt him terribly not to be with his son. I did what I always do – I believed him and gave in to his demands. So I stood beside him as he got a lawyer and filed for custody and got supervised visits. I wanted to go with him so I could get to know Tyler but Ethan said it wasn't a good idea quite yet. He told me they were getting to know each other again after you two wouldn't let them see each other the four month's he lived with you and were growing closer with every supervised visit. He kept telling me, 'next time.'" The EKG monitor goes berserk for a moment, beeping erratically all over the place hearing what that good-for-nothing _man_ told his overly trusting wife about how we supposedly manipulated Tyler. Nothing could be further than the truth.

"I didn't know how he was torturing that sweet boy until I heard the testimony of Tyler's social worker today. If I had known, I would have put a stop to it. As a mother, I wouldn't have been able to witness something so sickening and Ethan knew that. No child should be put through that. _That_ is the reason why he would never let me attend the visits. I realize that now. I just wonder how he was planning on spinning the fact that Tyler wants nothing to do with him once he brought him home. Anyway, upon learning these things and hearing Tyler call you Mommy – that was heartbreaking by the way – I told Ethan that if he wanted to stay married to me then he had to give up his parental rights to Tyler and give him to his rightful parents, you two." The only sounds in the room come from the EKG hooked to my chest and the fetal monitor hooked to my abdomen. She sticks her head out into the hallway and says something then Ethan comes into the room with his head hanging low.

"Can you leave us alone, Ellie? I don't want you to hear this," he asks. She crosses her arms defiantly over her chest and shakes her head sternly. It seems that Ellie Black finally found a backbone today. "Fine but this isn't anything I ever wanted you to know. I hate that I keep hurting you." He turns his back on his wife and looks at us. "I literally had the pen on the signature line of the termination paperwork, getting ready to sign away my parental rights to Tyler so you could adopt him, when I heard about Evelyn's death. I went into a tailspin. It felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest while it was still beating, leaving a gaping hole for the entire world to see. I couldn't bring myself to sign those papers and tell the whole city that I don't love him. To me he looks just like his mother, and I thought if I got to see him every day, I would be keeping a part of her alive inside of me. I was being extremely selfish and only thinking of what I wanted. Even though I could see he was resisting getting to know me, I wouldn't _allow_ myself to see that he already thought of you two as his parents long before Evelyn left this world. I'm sorry, Tobias, Beatrice." Almost on cue Sheila comes into the room with some paperwork. Ethan hesitates only momentarily before he signs everywhere she tells him to.

"You no longer have any legal rights to the minor child known as Tyler Aaron Johnson," Sheila says. She pulls out another set of paperwork from her briefcase and puts it on the bedside table. "These are Tyler's adoption papers. I assume you want to sign them now." She has a huge, vindicated smile on her face. We both nod enthusiastically since we are speechless. She points out where Tobias needs to place his signature then where I need to sign. She carefully looks over the entire file, making sure everything is in order. She nods her head as she looks at each sheet of paper then looks up at us with a bright smile. "Congratulations! The minor child, now known as Tyler Aaron Prior-Eaton, is officially now and forever your son. He's outside. Do you want me to bring him in? He doesn't know what's transpired here." I open my mouth to say something but realize that my happy tears have robbed me of my voice.

"Yes we want to see him," Tobias roughly says. "Ellie, I don't know how to thank you. If it weren't for you, we'd still be heartbroken and going home without our son. I'm forever in your debt." He abruptly gets up off the bed and wraps his arms around her for an awkward hug. She just stands there, her arms dangling straight at her side with a somewhat terrified look on her face. "I am so sorry. I shouldn't have hugged you. I'm just so happy." He nods his head Abnegation-style at her, and she does the same after she unfreezes.

"You don't have to thank me, Tobias," she says, the fright gone from her face. "I just did what was right for the child. Ethan, we need to leave so we don't traumatize Tyler any more than he's already been." She takes her husband by the hand and forcefully leads him out of the room. I sit next to Tobias, the EKG skipping around fitfully revealing exactly how anxious and excited I am in this moment. The door opens up and Sheila leads Tyler into the room. His little bottom lip is sticking out and quivering slightly. His red-rimmed eyes are lowered to the floor.

"Hi, buddy," Tobias says. Tyler's head whips around toward the sound of his name and his eyes light up drastically and his bright smile heals my broken heart. "You never have to see that man ever again unless you want to, okay?" Tyler sprints toward Tobias, and silent tears stream down my face.

"I'll leave you alone," Sheila says. "I'm glad that things turned out the way they did. Congratulations. Feel better, Tris."

"Thank you, Sheila," Tobias says then he looks at Tyler, who is sitting comfortably in his arms with a huge smile on his face. "We have some things we need to talk to you about, okay?"

"Otay," he says.

"Remember we told you that today we would find out who you get to live with," he says. Tyler nods his head looking sad again. "Well Tris and I just signed some papers, and you get to come home with us. I hope that makes you happy because we've never been happier."

"No have to go?" he asks, caution on his face. This whole situation has been rough for my poor little man.

"You will stay with me and Four," I say.

"Fo evah?" he asks excitedly.

"Forever," I say, strong emotions rushing through me.

"There's something else we want to talk to you about, buddy," Tobias says, sitting back down on the edge of the bed. He looks my way. I reach out and take his hand, and he squeezes it hard. "Do you remember how we adopted Tessa and brought her home even though Mommy Evelyn carried her in her tummy?" Tyler nods his head then looks over at his sister who is still sound asleep in the little portable hospital baby bed. "Tris and I just adopted you." Tyler's eyes light up with surprise. "You are _our_ son just like Tessa is our daughter. Nothing will ever change that. Do you want Tris and me to be your mommy and daddy?" I find that I'm holding my breath waiting for his answer.

"Yes," he quietly says.

"Well, when you feel comfortable enough to do it, you can call me Daddy ... if you want to," Tobias says with a smile as bright as the sun. "And you can call Tris Mommy. Something tells me that would make you very happy." Tyler moves his eyes toward mine and smiles.

"You my mommy?" he asks, a little smile on his face. "Get to stay wit you? Don't have to go."

"That's right, Tyler," I say. "You will _always_ stay with us. No one can ever take you away again." He lunges at me, wrapping his arms around my neck. I wrap my arms around his little body and hold him close to me.

"I love you, Mommy," he says in my ear.

"I love you, too, Tyler," I say, closing my eyes and letting tears streaming down my face, wetting his hair. He releases me then looks at Tobias.

"Fo, you my daddy now?" he asks, confusion on his face.

"That's right, Tyler," Tobias says with such pride in his voice. "I'm your daddy, and I love you so much. Just as much as your mother and your sister."

"No have to see mean man," he says.

"You don't ever have to see Mr. Black again unless _you_ decide you want to," Tobias says. "You belong with us. I've known that since the day I met you. You snuck into our hearts, and there was no way we were going to be able to let you go." Tyler crawls across my legs and up into Tobias' arms and hugs him tightly.

"I don't want to see him," he says.

"You don't have to then," he says.

"I love you, Daddy," Tyler says sounding completely natural.

"I love you too, buddy," he says, happy tears in his eyes also.

"Happy Birthday, Tobias," I whisper, moving to wrap my arms around my husband and son. "I couldn't have given you a better gift if I tried."

"I never need another gift as long as I live," he says moving one arm so he's holding us both. "I have everything I have ever wanted right here in this room."


	53. Chapter 53

I'm standing in front of the floor length mirror that matches my bedroom set, looking at my new outfit from every angle making sure it looks good. I love everything about it. The sleeveless design shows off my strong, defined shoulders and arms. The black and dark gray chevron pattern is trendy, stylish, and screams that I'm Dauntless while the asymmetrical hemline is flirty and playful. Even though it is technically a nursing dress with a mock layered bodice, the black tie belt at the empire waistline and flowing, stretchy fabric makes it a great maternity dress also. I was going to wear a pair of old heels with it but Christina wouldn't hear of it. She talked me into a new pair of shiny open-toe slingback stilettos. Thankfully I've gotten used to heels or I'm afraid these would send me tumbling down the path face first.

I turn to find Tobias casually leaning against the doorjamb looking more like a Greek God than anyone has the right to. He paired an old comfortable pair of faded black jeans with a new dark gray lightweight long-sleeve skintight V-neck sweater and his favorite pair of combat boots. His hungry look set butterflies to fluttering in my tummy. I slowly move to him, prolonging the anticipation. On my last step, he straightens up and smiles down at me, taking my breath away. He leans over and places his lips to mine and gives me a long, slow, lingering kiss.

"I love your hair," I breathlessly say running my hair through his freshly cut locks. "Have you worn it this way before?" The sides and back are cut close to his head and blend perfectly into the casual soft, short spikes on top. "I know you haven't since we met. Tobias, I have to tell you, it's ... sexy."

"No, I haven't but I'm never changing it again," he says kissing my neck.

"You better stop," I say with a groan. "Our company will be here at any moment. I don't want them walking in on a compromising position." I feel him smile against my neck. "Are Tyler and Tessa downstairs?"

"Yeah," he says straightening up. "They want to say goodnight to their mommy." I love being called mommy. There isn't anything in this world that I love more. I was born to be a wife and mother. I know that now. I feel silly for ever having any doubts about either. He takes my hand and leads me downstairs. "By the way, you look stunning tonight." He glances at me over his shoulder. The smoldering look in his eyes burns through my veins, nearly lighting me on fire. "I love that dress. I also love what Christina did with your hair." After much begging on her part, I took the kids to her place this afternoon, and we had a spa day. While they were napping, she put my wet hair in rollers, waxed my legs, gave me a mani/pedi, and then styled my curls into a casual updo all in preparation for our quadruple date tonight. She still has a lot of energy for being less than a month from her due date. I hope I'm that way when I'm as big as she is. Tobias and I are taking Will, Christina, Zeke, Shauna, Caleb, and Cara to a fancy Italian restaurant in the city. As a matter of fact, they all should be here at any moment.

It isn't going to be easy leaving the kids with Avery tonight but I know it needs to be done. Tobias and I need time with other adults, no kids allowed. He hasn't been able to talk me into leaving them until tonight. As a matter of fact, I haven't let either one of them out of my sight once in the past two weeks since I got out of the hospital. I don't know if it's an irrational fear of losing them, which I know is impossible now that we have adopted both Tessa and Tyler but something has me playing the role of overprotective mother. I think the only one who is worried about my actions is Tobias. He finally had to put his foot down and insist on a date night tonight ... without the kids. I kept telling him we could make a nice dinner for my brother, his girlfriend, and our friends at home but he wouldn't hear of it. I can't say that I blame him, we need to be Tris and Tobias instead of Mommy and Daddy even if it's just for a little bit.

"Thank you," I say to him. I kiss him again then wipe the red lipstick off his lips. "You do like my hair curly don't you? I might have to make a permanent change after the baby comes. I like it too."

"That would be nice," he says.

"Mommy, pitty," Tyler says.

"Come here, buddy," I say. He gets off the couch and runs over to me. I lift him into my arms and place kisses all over his face until he's squirming and laughing. "I love you."

"Love you," he says, his eyes sparkling. He's adjusted to his new life quite well, although there have been some rough spots. He's called me Mommy since that horrible moment in the courtroom when I thought we'd lost him forever. It took him longer to call Tobias Daddy on a regular basis. One time it would be Four and the next it would be Daddy. He's been having nightmares about having to live with Ethan Black, and he wakes up screaming and crying, which breaks my heart. Thankfully, they've tapered off over the past few nights. Hopefully, they end very soon. The second night the episode was so bad that I immediately called Zander and asked if he thought I should get him some professional help but he told me to give it a little time that he had been traumatized and the feelings wouldn't go away overnight. I'm glad I took his advice. I don't want to overwhelm and distress Tyler any more than he already has been. A knock on the door echoes throughout the apartment and Tobias answers it letting Caleb and Cara in.

"Hi everyone," he says with a happy smile on his face.

"Tyler, do you remember Caleb and Cara?" I ask, wiping all the red kisses off his face. "You met them at Mommy and Daddy's wedding." He studies their faces for a while before he smiles his shy smile for them indicating that he remembers who they are but still doesn't know them.

"Hi, Tyler," Caleb says coming to sit next to us. He reaches into the bag he's carrying and pulls out a thin box wrapped in colorful polka dot paper with a big blue bow on it. Tyler's eyes light up when he sees the gift, and he looks at me with a hopeful expression. I nod at him, and he rips into the package. Inside is a wooden alphabet puzzle.

"Tanks!" Tyler says. He gets down off my lap and sits at the base of the stairs and starts playing with his new toy.

"You didn't have to do that," I say. "He doesn't need gifts."

"He's my nephew now," Caleb says, watching Tyler play, with a smile on his face. "It makes up for the birthdays and Christmas' I've missed." I can't argue with that logic. He gets another box out of his bag and hands it to me. "Here's a little something for Tessa."

"Caleb!" I say with a look of censor on my face. I open the lid of the pink box and pull out the cutest fuzzy brown teddy bear with a pink bow around its neck. It's her first stuffed animal. "Thank you. It's so cute. Do you see this, Four?" He nods at me. I get up and go to the window and find Tessa awake. When I smile down at her, she smiles up at me, pulling my heartstrings. "Hello there, beautiful." I pick her up, carry her back to the couch, and give her to Caleb. "Watch her head. She's getting stronger but she still needs some support." He holds her, carefully cradling her head and neck, and stares at my daughter.

"She really does look like you, Four," he says. Tobias comes to stand next to me and lightly drapes his arm around my shoulder.

"She's beautiful," Cara, who came to sit on the couch next to Caleb, says.

"Thank you," I say. "We think she looks a lot like Tyler who in my opinion is just a miniature version of Four."

"How far along are you, Tris," Cara asks pointing at my obviously pregnant belly.

"I'll be 20 weeks tomorrow," I say. "Isobel tells me that we're half way through."

"Do you know what you're having?" she asks being more personable with me than she ever has.

"Actually we find out on Monday," I say excitedly looking up at Tobias. "I can't wait. I would like to have a boy but Four wants a girl." We smile at each other for a moment then he gives me a quick kiss.

"I hope it a boy," Tyler says from the foot of the staircase, never taking his eyes off his new toy.

"You told him to say that, didn't you?" Tobias says. I smile up at him but shake my head.

"Nope," I say. "He told me the other day that one sister was enough. He wants brothers from now on." We all chuckle at his way of thinking. Another knock on the door startles Tessa, and she starts crying, which is very unusual. I hope she doesn't give Avery much trouble tonight. I take her from Caleb, and she quiets down immediately.

"In case you haven't noticed, Tessa is a mommy's girl," Tobias says opening the door to let Zeke, Shauna, Will, Christina, and Avery in.

"Look who we found in the hallway," Will says pointing at our babysitter for the night.

"Avey!" Tyler says. He gets up and runs to her, and she lifts him up and gives him a big hug and kiss.

"It's been so long since I got to watch you," she says. I feel a bit guilty at her words. It's my fault she hasn't been able to watch the kids because I don't want to leave them.

"Everyone come in," I say. "I have to go over some things with Avery so please make yourselves at home." I hand Tessa back to Caleb now that she's calmed down, and she smiles up at him.

"She just smiled at me," he excitedly says. "She's so cute!"

"That's not fair," Christina whines trying to catch a glimpse. "You meet her for the first time tonight, and within minutes she's smiling at you. _I_ spend all afternoon with her today, and all she does is sleep." I laugh at my best friend. She's going absolutely stir crazy. As I'm counting the weeks down, she's counting the days.

"Do you want to hold her?" he asks.

"I do but I'll let you keep her," she says. "I can see her anytime. I only live across the hall. You guys live clear across town."

"Tyler, come give Uncle Zeke some love," Zeke says. Avery puts Tyler back down, and he runs full spend at his honorary uncle. Zeke lifts him into his arms and Tyler hugs him tightly and gives him a big kiss on the lips. "That's my boy." Avery follows me into the kitchen where I go over the list I left for her including feeding times, bedtimes, and emergency phone numbers.

"If you need us for anything, don't hesitate to call me or Four," I say. "And if there's a medical emergency please get ahold of your dad as soon as possible then contact us immediately."

"I will, Tris," she says.

"We'll be home by 2 a.m.," I say. "Instead of having to run up and down the stairs, you can put Tessa down in her bassinet here in the living room and Tyler can sleep on the loveseat. When we get home we'll put them to bed. Do you have any questions?"

"Do you have something planned for supper?" she asks.

"Yeah, there's a pizza in the oven – sausage, green pepper, and onion," I say. "I forgot about that. The timer is set. There's ice cream in the freezer. Tyler can have one scoop after supper. I'm sure he'll try to talk you into more but he knows he can only have one. Thank you for doing this."

"I don't mind at all," she says. "I'm glad you have faith in me to take care of Tessa. You guys go and have a good time. If I need you for anything, I'll call. I promise they're in good hands."

"Thank you, and I know they're in _great_ hands when they're with you," I say again, giving the slight teenager a big hug. It's hard to believe that we're only a little over a year apart. In another lifetime, we would be the best of friends instead of me being good friends with her mother. "Tyler, come give Mommy a kiss and a hug goodnight." Zeke puts him down, and he runs to me, and I scoop him up in my arms. I hold onto him tight and kiss his cheek. "Mommy, loves you."

"To moon and back?" he says.

"Yep, to the moon and back," I say, hugging him a little tighter. "You be good for Avery. She'll call me and tell me if you're not behaving."

"I be good," he says, kissing me again.

"Why don't you go say goodbye to Daddy," I say putting him down. He runs across the floor to Tobias who is talking to Caleb and Cara.

"Whoa there boy," he says with a chuckle, picking him up.

"Bye, Daddy," he says. I swear every time Tyler calls him Daddy, Tobias smiles a little brighter. "Love you."

"I love you, too, Tyler. You be a good boy tonight and do what Avery tells you to do," he says giving him hugs and kisses then sitting him at his feet. Tyler automatically goes back to play with his new puzzle. "Well, we better get going. Our reservations are in 45 minutes. We can't be late, or they'll give our table away." He looks directly at me when he says this, and I can't help but sigh. I go to Caleb and take Tessa out of his arms. I really don't want to leave her but I know if I don't do this now it will be even harder later.

"Mommy loves you, little one," I say and she smiles brightly at me. She smiled at me for the first time the day before yesterday and it brings tears to my eyes and chokes me up every time I see it. "You be good for Avery. I love you." I kiss her little head and breathe in her soft scent making it just that much harder to leave her.

"Tris," Tobias quietly says from right behind me putting his hands on my shoulders. "They'll be okay. I promise." He lets me go and leans down and places a kiss on her forehead. She gives him a smile also.

"I love it when she smiles," he says. "Let's go." I kiss her again, tell her and Tyler both that I love them and will miss them, then we leave.

Earlier, Tobias parked Dauntless' one and only van at the curb just outside our offices so we only have a short walk instead of having to go all the way to the garage. Tobias and I get in the front of the van while Will, Christina, Zeke, and Shauna get in the back and drive to the same small building near the center of the city where the old fashioned ice cream parlor is located followed closely by Caleb and Cara in their sedan. Once we park in a secluded lot around the corner from the restaurant, we get out and walk to the door, talking about babies and pregnancy the whole way. I notice a wistful look in Shauna's eyes that I've never seen before. I wonder what that is about. Tobias opens the door, allowing our friends to enter then we follow behind them. The minute I step into the small bustling room, the most delectable scent I've ever smelled slaps me right in the face, and my mouth starts to water profusely. We approach the hostess who is standing behind a slim wooden podium that looks like it has seen better days, and Tobias gives her our name. We are immediately taken to a table for eight in the back of the restaurant with two other larger tables full of patrons while the remaining tables are two- and four-tops, which are also packed. Christina and I sit next to each other flanked by Tobias and Will. Zeke and Shauna sit across from me and my husband, right next to Caleb and Cara. We each order something different so that we all can try everything. While we wait for our entrées, we are served baskets full of freshly baked garlic bread, bowls of perfectly dressed Caesar salad, and two platters of bruschetta. We casually talk about everything and eat until our entrees are served.

"This is so good," Christina says with a contented sigh after taking a bite of her vegetable lasagna.

"The chicken Alfredo with broccoli is to die for," Cara says. "I think it's one of the best things I've ever tasted. How is the cheese ravioli, Tris?"

"Delicious," I say. "It's almost as good as the spaghetti and meatballs that Four makes me from time to time."

"You need to taste _this_ , Tris," Tobias says holding out a forkful of aromatic spaghetti and meatballs. I take the bite and chew it slowly, savoring every single moment. "It's better than mine." I hate to admit it but he's right, and I didn't think that was possible.

"I'm not sure I want to share this," Will says as he puts another bite of chicken parmesan in his mouth. "Four, if you know how to cook like this, you need to teach me. I wouldn't even care if it wasn't this good. I'd settle for half as good."

"I've never had that dish before but if you really want to learn how to cook and want a good teacher, contact Hana," he says. "She's the best there is."

"I thought my mom was the best cook in the city but I'm having second thoughts right now," Zeke says around a mouthful of ricotta-stuffed shells in a thick Bolognese sauce. Right now he kind of reminds me of what Uriah looks like when he's eating cake.

"Want to know what good is?" Caleb asks. "This eggplant parmesan is the best thing I've _ever_ tasted."

"I always thought Hana's pepperoni pizza was good but this is … amazing," Shauna says with a silly smile on her face. "Although I'm not sure I want to give any of this up, why don't we switch plates now? I can't wait to try everything." Over the next hour we each sample every dish, and I for one can't pick out a favorite. They're all exceptional.

"I think we need dessert," Tobias says.

"I couldn't eat another bite," Christina says draping her arms over her enormous belly.

"Neither could I," says Cara.

"There's always room for dessert," says Will who flags down the waitress. "We would like some dessert. What would you recommend?"

"I recommend the tiramisu, which is the house special," she says. "I also recommend the homemade ricotta cannoli and chocolate gelato. We have a full dessert menu. I could bring it to you."

"That won't be necessary," Will says. "Please bring us one of each of the desserts you recommend. Thank you."

"Very good, sir," she says.

"You're trying to make me fatter than I already am," Christina says, shooting daggers at her boyfriend. He leans in close to her and caresses her cheek with the back of his hand.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you're not fat," he says with a look on his face so intimate I feel the need to look away. "This is my son you're carrying." He puts both hands on her swollen abdomen. "You are radiant. Stop putting yourself down."

"I love you," she says, her eyes sparkling with tears.

"I love you, too," he says, moving his mouth to hers. He kisses her slowly. Tobias reaches under the table seeking out my hand. He takes it and squeezes it gently. I look over at him, and he gives me a tender kiss. When I break away from him I notice Cara pulling away from Caleb and Zeke kissing Shauna. Tonight has a perfect romantic atmosphere. Just as Will pulls away from Christina, the waitress comes carrying a tray with three dessert dishes. She sets them on the table in various places and gives each of us a spoon to sample the sweets with. I take a small scoop of the tiramisu and think I've died and gone to heaven. I moan a little and Tobias laughs at me.

"Taste this," I say, getting another scoop and putting my spoon in front of his mouth. He takes the bite and groans.

"Damn," he says. "I could eat that three times a day. Dare I say it? This is better than Dauntless cake."

"Don't let Uriah hear you say that," Zeke says with a chuckle. "I happen to agree with you though. Try this one." He points at the chocolate gelato, which is a very rich ice cream yep dessert. We both savor a small bite. This is so good. I wonder if they ever cater events.

"I don't know," Christina says. "It's definitely something to check out." I furrow my eyebrows at her.

"You just asked if they cater," she says. I laugh.

"I didn't know I said that out loud," I say. "But I would attend that event with no questions asked."

"It's still early," Will says. "Why don't we head to the Navy Pier?"

"Oh honey, I'm really tired," Christina says. "You know that I'm usually in bed by now."

"Come on," he says. "We can ride the Ferris wheel. That would be relaxing." I think of my last time at the Navy Pier, and when I drag my eyes to Tobias', I can tell he's thinking the exact same thing and I blush bright red.

"Alright," she says. Tobias pays our bill, leaving a generous tip, and we head to our cars.

"That was wonderful, Tobias," I quietly say. "Maybe next time we can come back just the two of us then have some ice cream at the parlor."

"I would like that," he says wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "So you're alright with leaving the kids?"

"Not really," I say. "I'm so full of anxiety right now. I just have to find a balance. Please be patient with me."

"Of course," he says. "I know it might not seem like it but I didn't want to leave them tonight either. I just wanted to be with you more."

"I understand," I say. "I really do. I feel torn in different directions. I don't know how to be Tris the wife and lover and Tris the mommy all at the same time."

"Yeah, you do because you're doing it and you're doing it well," he says. "You are the best wife; a remarkable, affectionate, sensual lover; and the most caring, loving mother. We'll both figure it out."

"I love you," I say just as we reach our car. Zeke, Shauna, Will, Christina, Caleb, and Cara aren't far behind us but not close enough to be listening to our hushed conversation. We get in our cars and promise to meet each other at the gravel parking lot across from the Navy Pier. After about half an hour, the eight of us are walking by the carousel, which is being refurbished.

"Do you remember the first time we came here, Christina?" Will asks breaking the silence of the still night. I see her smile brightly at him.

"You mean alone? Yeah," she says with a little giggle. "We sat on that little yellow bench right there and talked for hours about everything under the sun. It's when I realized that I was in love with you."

"We should leave them alone," I whisper, turning to walk away.

"Wait a minute," Tobias says in my ear, wrapping his arms around me keeping me in place.

"I remember that too, but I was already in love with you," he says with a big smile on his face. "I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. You are the very best part of me. You've given me so many gifts … some as simple as a smile after a long, hard day at work making me feel like the luckiest man in the world and others as extraordinary as making me a father. I don't want to live a single day without you." He pulls a small black box out of his jacket pocket and Christina gasps. Tears come to my eyes thinking about how happy my best friend is in this moment. "Christina Louise Misner, I will love you forever. Will you marry me?" He flips the hinge on the little black velvet box, and she starts crying. She doesn't look like she can answer so she starts vigorously nodding her head up and down. He takes the large yet simple solitaire diamond ring set on a white gold band and slips it on her left hand. After she stares at it for a moment, she grabs ahold of Will and kisses him passionately. I turn in Tobias' arms and look up into his eyes.

"You knew about this didn't you?" I quietly ask.

"Yeah," he says. "He wanted a romantic setting with friends and family around. I told him to pick a place that was special to the both of them. Kind of like I did when I proposed in the chasm."

"Tris!" Christina squeals with such happiness and excitement in her voice. Tobias lets me go, and I wrap my arms around her, hugging her tightly. "Can you believe this? He proposed. He wants to marry me!"

"I told you this would happen," I say with a huge smile on my face. "I'm so happy for you, Christina."

"I'm so happy right now," she says. "When I saw him pull that box out of his pocket I thought my water was going to break." We laugh together.

"Shall we take a ride on the Ferris wheel?" Caleb asks. "It's approaching midnight, and I for one want to see what the city lights look like from the top of the wheel before they turn them off."

"I'm game," Will says, letting his sister go. I notice that her eyes have happy tears in them also. "What do you say, Christy?"

"I say that if you call me that again, you're going to be a bachelor for the rest of your life," she says. We all laugh together, and he wraps his arms around her as much as he can. We all walk from the carousel to the Ferris wheel, an air of celebration about us. We each get in separate cars and begin our ride.

"What a night," I say. He wraps his arm around me, and I lay my head on his hard chest. I look up at him, and he has a faraway look in his eyes. "What's on your mind?"

"You," he huskily says meeting my eyes. One glance and I can tell what's on his mind. He's remembering the last time we were on the Ferris wheel. He moves his lips to mine and kisses me passionately, exploring my mouth with his tongue. "I can't wait to get home. I'm going to make love to you."

"You seem pretty sure of yourself, Mr. Eaton," I manage to say when he moves his mouth to my neck, kissing every inch of the sensitive skin. "You mean you aren't going to talk me into having sex right here on the wheel?"

"I'm game if you are," he says moving his mouth back to mine.

"Not with my brother a car above me," I breathlessly say when he lets go of me.

"I was just kidding," he says with a sexy glint in his eye. He's making it increasingly difficult to keep my hands off him. "But you better watch out when we get home. I think I'll take you on the kitchen island after I walk Avery home."

"So help me God, Tobias Eaton," I say with as much of a scolding look that I can muster, "if my brother can hear you right now."

"He can't," he says. "I'm sure he's making out with Cara. A wedding proposal has a way of putting people in the mood." He slowly drags the hem of my dress up and puts his hand on my bare thigh and I moan. About that time the gondola comes to a sudden stop at the bottom. He quickly removes his hand from my clothing and helps me out of the car. We stand waiting for Caleb, Cara, Zeke, Shauna, Will, and Christina staring into each other's eyes.

"Did the wheel really go around twice?" Christina asks. She, Cara, Shauna, and I all giggle at that comment. It didn't seem like it to me either. Now all I want to do is run home and make love to my husband. "I hate to be a party pooper everyone, but I'm exhausted. I really need to get home." She has a definite sparkle in her eyes but she also looks extremely tired. "This is the latest I've been up in ages. This little one really has me dragging my ass right now." We all agree to call it a night just as the lights of the city turn off. We walk to our cars talking about what a lovely time we all had and the fact that we need to do this on a regular basis, like once every other month. We all agree.

"Thank you for supper tonight," Caleb says as he's hugging me tightly. "Cara and I really had a good time. I love seeing her so happy."

"That makes you happy, doesn't it?" I say.

"Very," he says. "I love her."

"I hope you've told _her_ that," I say with a happy smile on my face.

"Of course," he says. I imagine there's a blush on his face but it's too dark to make it out. "We've even been talking about the future."

"I'm so happy for you both," I say. I didn't like Cara at first but we put our differences aside and have learned to tolerate each other. Maybe one day we'll even like each other.

"Bye Tris," Cara says after she steps away from her brother. "It was nice seeing you and Four tonight, and I know Caleb can't wait to see his niece and nephew again."

"The next time we go to Mom and Dad's on a Sunday, I'll let you two know," I say. "We can have a big family dinner."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," she says, sounding genuine. It seems she's gotten over her aversion to Abnegation. We give an additional round of hugs before we go our separate way. The six of us get in our van and take off toward Dauntless chatting about the wonderful meal we shared.

"Tris, are you busy tomorrow?" Christina asks.

"We don't have any plans do we?" I ask Tobias.

"None that I'm aware of," he says.

"I want to go over some ideas with you about my wedding," she says. "I'm going to need your help. You're going to be my maid of honor after all." I squeal happily at her news even though it doesn't surprise me. She was mine after all.

"You got it," I say. "Just let me know a time that's good for you."

"Will you be another bridesmaid, Shauna?"

"Of course," she happily says.

We pull up in front of the Pire and say goodnight to Zeke, Shauna, Will, and Christina who get out of the car and make their way into the building.

"Aren't you going in to see the kids and let Avery go home early?" he asks.

"No, I want to stay with you," I say. "We'll walk home together."

"Okay," he says with a smile. The van slowly pulls away from the curb, and he drives around the corner, down the block, and into the garage. As Tobias parks the car, I'm looking around the cave-like room out of habit but I see no one.

"Tonight was wonderful, Tobias," I say. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. It was my pleasure, and I had a wonderful time also," he says. "Let's go home."


	54. Chapter 54

Tobias and I slowly walk hand-in-hand from the garage up to our apartment, stealing glances at each other along the way. I can tell we both have the same thing on our mind. We're looking forward to spending a little uninterrupted husband and wife time with each other. Tobias unlocks the door then we walk in to a surprise. Before us sitting on the couch next to each other are Avery and Callen looking a bit disheveled, red faced, and extremely guilty. I would say by the hectic look on their both their faces that we just walked in on them making out. At least I hope that's all they were doing.

"What's going on here?" Tobias says, sounding more like Four than I think is necessary at the moment. I touch his Amity tattoo hoping he will calm down then walk over by the window to check on Tessa. I smile when I see her sound asleep, swaddled in one of her pink receiving blankets. I then turn toward the loveseat and see a very content look on Tyler's sleeping face. Avery jumps up from the couch nervously.

"I am _so_ sorry, Four, Tris," she says, a slight blush coloring her cheeks. "I invited Callen over to keep me company after Tyler went to sleep. I didn't think you would mind but I guess I should have asked you first."

"Is this the first time you've invited a friend over?" I ask.

"It is," she says. I glance up at Tobias who has finally visibly calmed down. I don't want him scaring them any more than he already has.

"Avery, we really don't want you to have friends over when you're supposed to be watching our children. _They_ are to be your first priority," I say. "You could get distracted and one of them could get hurt. We know that accidents happen from experience but let me ask you one thing … how would you feel if something happened and your attention was on a friend … or a boyfriend?"

"I would feel absolutely awful," she says, hanging her head.

"Tris and I are not opposed to you making a phone call or two after they've gone to bed to help you pass the time," Tobias says. "But no more boys over."

"Yes, Four," she quietly says. It's hard to reprimand someone you think of as a friend.

"I'm sorry, too, Tris, Four," Callen says. "I should have known better. It won't happen again." I think this is the most I've ever heard him say. "I should leave."

"Oh no," Tobias says. "As soon as Avery is able to go home, you're going to walk her to her door like a gentleman." His eyes widen and he flushes bright red at Tobias' comment as does Avery but he nods in compliance. "And both your parents may or may not be told about what we just walked in on. It'll keep the two of you on your toes."

"Tobias," I say under my breath with a chuckle. He's playing with these two now, and he's enjoying himself. "Stop it."

"Whatever you want, love," he says.

"When did you last give Tessa a bottle?" I ask.

"A little before 10 p.m.," she says. "Tyler laid down on the couch at 7:30 p.m., although he didn't fall asleep until around 8:30. I didn't have a problem with either of them, and you're right, Tyler tried to talk me into two scoops of ice cream but I didn't give in, and it was tough. He's turning into a world class pouter."

"Okay," I say with a smile. She's absolutely right about Tyler. I'm going to have to talk to him about this bad habit I'm sure he's picked up from me. "Thank you. Remember no guests from now on."

"Okay, Tris," she says. "Sorry again." Callen gets up off the couch and meets Avery at the door.

"We're really sorry," he says.

"You guys have a good night," Tobias says coming up beside me. "Straight home, both of you."

"Yes, Four," they say at the same time. Callen opens the door, lets Avery out then closes it behind them. Tobias starts laughing.

"Did you like torturing them?" I ask.

"Actually, I loved it," he says. "Do you think we should say something to their parents?"

"No. I think we handled it but if they do it again, yes. I'll go straight to Zander, Stella, and Nathan," I say going across the room to pick up Tessa. "Will you take Tyler and put him to bed."

"Of course," he says. He gently eases Tyler off the couch without waking him, carries him upstairs, and is back sitting next to me within two minutes. Tessa woke up when I picked her up, and she doesn't seem very happy with me at the moment. I take her out of her swaddle and check her diaper but it's dry.

"What, no smiles for your mommy right now," I say.

"That's what you get for waking her up," Tobias says. "Maybe she'll smile at me. Hey, princess, did Mommy make you mad?" She whines and makes the cutest little frowny face. "I think she may be hungry."

"She's getting there," I say. I pick her up from my lap and lovingly cradle her in my arms then lean up against Tobias. "Did you have a nice time tonight?"

"I did," he says. "I really loved the restaurant. The food was the best I've ever tasted in my entire life. The ambiance was perfect. Even though I knew Will was going to propose, I honestly didn't know it was happening tonight. There's something special about witnessing someone else's happiness. I'm so glad that we were there. I'm also happy that I made the decision to restore the Ferris wheel. I love when we get to use it. And after you feed our little princess there," he puts his mouth on my ear, "I'm going to make love to you." He takes my breath away.

"That's still your plan, huh?" I breathlessly say with a slightly nervous giggle.

"Damn straight," he says. He puts his mouth on my neck and starts kissing me. I close my eyes and find myself melting into him. Tessa starts crying, and I realize that Mommy and Daddy are ignoring their hungry little princess. I sit straight up and begin to feed her. Tobias puts his chin on my shoulder and watches us intently.

"Happy five week birthday, little one," I say, caressing her chubby little cheek. "It's been a wonderful ride. You make our life so full. I love you so much."

"Do you talk to her like that every time you feed her?" he asks. I move my eyes to his and smile somewhat shyly.

"Yes," I say. "It's just something I do. It's kind of embarrassing but I forgot you were here with us." I give him an apologetic look. "I'm used to doing this alone."

"Does it make you uncomfortable with me watching you?" he asks. "I could go get ready for bed." I kiss him hard, which catches him off guard.

"It bothered me a little in the beginning. Does that surprise you?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Could I have just anyone sitting with their chin on my shoulder watching me feed our daughter? Absolutely not. But when _you're_ watching, I don't know. It kind of feels like a spiritual connection." He kisses my cheek. I move her to my other breast and she continues eating.

"I love you, Tris," he says. "I love you, too, my little princess." He runs his hand over her head.

"We both love you very much," I say.

"I'm going to let you finish up down here," he says. "When you're done, come find me." I can't help but smile at him.

"Okay," I say. I watch him nimbly move across the room then dart up the stairs. He's the very definition of perfection and watching him takes my breath away and heightens my arousal. I have to concentrate on Tessa to get my mind off what Tobias has in store for us. She just eats and eats. It seems like any time we have to give her a bottle the next time she eats, it's three times more than normal. "Are you finally done, little one? As much as you just ate, you shouldn't need fed for the rest of the night. Wouldn't that be something? Are you finally going to let Mommy and Daddy sleep … or maybe do something else?" Her perfect little mouth forms a tiny "O" and she yawns her adorable little yawn then her eyes flutter shut. I turn off all the lights and head upstairs. I change her dirty diaper, put a white sleep gown with pink bunnies on her, and I lay her in her bed then kiss her head. I turn on her monitor then walk into our bedroom, shut the door, and stop dead in my tracks. There lounging in the middle of my king size bed in the soft glow of moonlight is my tempting husband … bare ass naked. My mouth immediately goes bone dry as I become damp between my thighs.

"Awe, you found me," he says. I try to swallow past the lump in my throat but it's difficult without an ounce of moisture to help. "Why don't you come here?" I slowly walk to my side of the bed and set the baby monitor down on the end table. He rolls over on his back and looks me up and down. "Hi."

"Hi," I say, taking in the picture-perfect site before me.

"You know it really isn't fair that I'm lying here naked and you're standing there fully clothed. I would really like to look at you, too," he says with an excited shine in his eyes. I slip out of my heels then slide my dress off each shoulder and shimmy my way out of it, letting it pool at my feet. I reach behind me, unhook the clasp on my bra, and let it fall to the floor. I put my hands on my boy shorts but he stops me. "Come here and I'll help you with those." He holds his hand out to me, I take it, and he pulls me down onto the bed. I'm finding it increasingly uncomfortable to lie on my tummy these days so I lie down on my side next to him. He rolls up on his side and puts his hand on my leg right below my knee. He moves his mouth to my neck as I run my steady hand up his chiseled arm up to the back of his neck. I cup his head, drawing him closer to me, missing his curls.

"Kiss me," I breathlessly whisper, pulling his mouth to mine. He just barely touches his lips to mine then pulls away, teasing me. I moan loudly with a strong want. "Tobias, don't tease." He brushes his lips against my cheek and up to softly kiss one eyelid then he barely grazes his lips down to my neck where he nibbles gently on my left ear. " _Please_." I feel his breath on my skin, warm and erratic, as his parted wet lips finally land on mine. I mold my body to his the best as I can with my expanded abdomen between us and kiss him fiercely until we are both pulling in lungful's of much-needed air.

"I've missed this," he says, slowly running his hand from my shoulder down to my legs. "We really haven't taken the time to stretch out and explore each other for quite a while."

"It is nice," I say, caressing his face with my fingertips.

"Why don't you lie back and let me pamper you," he roughly says.

"Okay," I say rolling onto my back. He gets off the bed, and I watch him closely as he retrieves my coconut oil lotion then walk back to me. He sits down beside me and starts massaging the luxurious cream into my neck and shoulders. To make sure that he doesn't relax me into sleep he trails kisses all over my body while his hands find their targets, keeping the fire I'm feeling on simmer. I notice that he skips right over my breasts and massages the lotion into my tummy while he mumbles quietly to himself. "Are you saying something?"

"I was just talking to Peanut," he says. I smile warmly at the mention of our unborn child. "I was asking him if he was comfortable in there. I also told him that I loved him and that we can't wait to meet him."

"Him?" I ask, running my hand through his hair and down the side of his face. He leans into my gentle touch.

"Or her. I really don't care," he says. He sweetly kisses my tummy then begins rubbing the lotion into one leg first then starts with my other foot and works his way up to my thigh. He takes a large dollop of lotion out of the jar and starts rubbing his hands together all the while looking in my eyes. "I love you." I mouth the words back at him as he puts his lips over my heart and starts gently kneading my swollen breasts eliciting a spontaneous moan from my lips. I graze my fingernails down his back causing him to gasp. After massaging me for a time, he moves his mouth to my breast and kisses the very tip of a hard, aching peak. I hold my breath wondering if he's going to get milk when he takes me into his mouth but when he captures the throbbing bud and licks all around it, nothing happens except for immeasurable pleasure. I grasp his head closer to me never wanting him to stop.

"Oh, Tobias," I moan. "It feels so good." He continues with his ministrations until I'm writhing beneath him begging. "Please. Oh, God, please, Tobias. I need you. I want you. _PLEASE_." He trails the very tip of his wet tongue over the small hill of my tummy while he slides my small lacy boy shorts down my legs. He places his hands on my knees and spreads my legs wide. He catches my eye and gives me a wicked grin right before he dips his head down and kisses one thigh and then the other. I realize I'm holding my breath when I draw in an agonizing breath into my aching lungs just as he darts his tongue out of his hot, wet mouth and lightly laps at my aching bundle of nerves. He takes away his delicate touch as soon as he gives it and kisses all around my spread thighs. I automatically arch toward him when I feel a finger at my moist entrance. He slowly sinks into my tight, moist depths with one steady drive then begins a leisurely in-and-out pace. I feel a warmth spread throughout my body as he relentlessly teases me with his talented tongue, moving all around my nubbin, not quite giving me what I want. Finally, after a lot of pleading, he energetically laps at the protruding button making me clench against his invading finger as a ripple of pleasure moves through me. He adds a second finger then quickens the tempo. I thrash my head around on the bed and grasp the sheets tightly as he sucks lightly on my nubbin then grips it tightly between his teeth and swirls his tongue all around it. I come harder than I ever have against his pounding fingers, lifting my hips to meet his still hammering digits and probing tongue. "No more, no more." I push against his head to get him to stop and he does. He kisses his way back up my body, never placing any of his weight on me.

"Are you okay?" he asks, slight worry on his handsome face.

"Yeah," I say. "I just couldn't take anymore." I roughly grab his face and kiss him fiercely, surprising him for a moment. "I want to feel you inside me … _now_ … but I don't think you should be on top anymore. We don't want to hurt our Peanut." I put my hand on his chest and push lightly. He automatically turns us so I'm on top of him. I sit up, straddling his hips. I move my hand down, wrap my fingers around his hard length, and slowly slide my glove-like fist up and down a few times. I hold myself over him then drop down onto his shaft, fully joining us as one. We both sigh at the same time. I grind my hips in small incessant circles to his and he groans. After I'm accustom to his size, I lift myself nearly off him then force myself back down, meeting his answering thrusts. I place my hands on his stomach to steady myself as I ride him like I never have before.

"I want you from behind," he huskily says. I lift myself off him and move onto my hands and knees and look at him over my shoulder. He kneels between my parted legs and enters me fully in one driving thrust making me moan loudly. He holds onto my hips and starts a hectic pace, bringing me closer to my second orgasm of the night. He wraps his body around mine and cups my swaying breast, massaging it gently. With his other hand he starts lightly circling my aching bundle of nerves, pushing me that much closer to my summit. Even with both hands on my body he never slows his hammering pace even slightly.

"Oh, God!" I roughly say, my heart racing in my chest making it hard for me to breathe. I feel his lips on my neck and hear his labored breathing in my ear. "I'm so close." A familiar noise makes us first freeze then quickly break away from each other. I don't know how I missed the subtle change in the light in the room but, there, right inside the now open door stands Tyler.

"Mommy?" he asks sounding very confused.

"Mommy and Daddy are just having some private time, honey," I say, trying to control my irregular panting, embarrassed as hell but remembering my conversation with Tobias after Tyler nearly caught us in the shower a few weeks ago. "Is something wrong?"

"I got tummy ache," he says in a pitiful little voice. "No feel good." Instantly I go from lover to mother.

"Can you go to the bathroom for Mommy? I'll be in in one minute," I say. He turns around and walks into the bathroom.

"I have to take care of him," I say, kissing him lightly on the lips. "I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," he says almost painfully. I look at his still engorged manhood. "Don't worry about me. Go take care of Tyler." I kiss him again then get out of bed, hurry to our dresser, and put on a pair of pajamas. I'm heading out of the bedroom when I hear Tessa start to cry in her room. She really shouldn't be hungry right now.

"Tobias, can you check on Tessa, please?" I say. When I walk into the bathroom I hear him softly groan in completion. I wish _I_ was that lucky. I flip on the light, and I notice how pale my boy looks. "Can you tell me what hurts?" I rest one hand on his shoulder and the other on his forehead.

"My tummy and head," he says. I get the thermometer out of the cupboard along with some medicine. "Daddy huwt you." I close my eyes and take a deep breath before releasing it. I'm sure this is one of every parent's nightmares.

"Oh, baby," I say sitting the items on the sink and picking him up, putting him on my lap, and wrapping my arms comfortingly around him. "Your daddy wasn't hurting me. I promise. Can you tell me what you saw?"

"He was hitting you and you was cwying and making funny noises," he says. Crying?

"Did you _see_ Daddy hitting Mommy?"

"No, heawd it," he says. Thank God, he really didn't see anything, he only heard us, which I'm sure was traumatizing enough for him. I know it was for me.

"There are different ways that people love each other, Tyler," I try to explain. I take the thermometer off the side of the sink and put it to his ear. "Mommies and Daddies love each other a little differently than Mommies or Daddies love their little boys and girls or brothers and sisters love each other or friends love each other. Daddy was just showing me that he loves me. I swear he wasn't hurting me. Did we scare you?"

"Yeah," he says wrinkling his little nose up and getting tears in his eyes. "Don't want you to bweak up. No wanna go live with that man." I hold him tightly for a moment unable to speak because of the emotional upheaval rocketing through my body.

"I tell you what, let's get you doctored up then Mommy and Daddy will talk to you together," I say once I can speak. He nods at me. I double check his temperature and find it to be 100.1 degrees. I give him the fever reducer medicine recommended by Zander the other time he didn't feel well then I follow him downstairs and give him a sippy cup full of warm, weak, ginger tea to help calm his upset stomach. We're cuddled together on the couch when Tobias comes downstairs carrying Tessa who is obviously not happy at the moment.

"She's hungry," he says. "I tried to get her to calm down but it's not working. She wants you."

"Give her to me," I say holding my arms out. "We need to talk to Tyler. He's worried we might break up because he thinks you hurt me." He flushes slightly, just as embarrassed as I am and nods. He gently places our daughter in my arms and picks up Tyler and sits down on the loveseat with him. He hugs him tightly at a loss as to what to say. I stand up and try to calm Tessa so she can eat. I've learned that she latches on a lot easier if she's calm. After walking with her for a minute she calms. I sit down in the oversized club chair and put her up to my breast where she suckles vigorously. I'm surprised she's this hungry again so soon. "Tyler thinks we're going to break up and that he'll have to go live with Mr. Black."

"Oh, Tyler, buddy, that will _never_ happen," he says, an emotional roller coaster sounding in his voice. "I love your mother more than anyone or anything. I'll _never_ leave her. But even if we were to separate, you wouldn't have to go live with someone else. You're _our_ son. No one else's. Do you understand that?"

"Yeah," he says.

"I'm sorry we scared you," he says. Tobias meets my eyes and says, "Did mommy tell you I wasn't hurting her?"

"Yeah," he says taking a drink out of his sippy cup. Tobias kisses his forehead, checking his temperature and frowns.

"Maybe I should get you back to bed," he says. "I think you need some rest. Is your tummy feeling better?" He shakes his head.

"Why don't you lay down with Daddy on the couch," I say. "Sissy and I are going to be a little while." As I'm feeding Tessa, Tobias and Tyler lay down on the couch and within minutes are both fast asleep. When she's done, I put her in the bassinet and drape the throw over my husband and son then lay down on the love seat until it's time to nurse my daughter again.


	55. Chapter 55

_What a long day_. I'm standing under the hot spray of relaxing water in the shower stall. I've been taking very short showers lately so I purposefully linger this evening, letting the stress of the day wash down the drain. Tobias, Tyler, Tessa, and I all slept downstairs last night, and I'm more fatigued than normal. As a matter of fact, I think the only one who did sleep soundly was Tessa who only got up twice in the night.

Tyler was rather restless all night and got sick three times. He lounged on the couch most of the day, watching movies and sleeping. When I nursed Tessa after she woke up in the morning, I noticed that she seemed warm too so I immediately took her temperature. She was running a slight fever also. I immediately called the infirmary and talked to Zander who just happened to be on duty and asked if it was okay to give her the same medication I gave Tyler. He told me to give her just half a dose and that if her fever goes any higher to bring her and Tyler down to be checked out. I gave them both medicine at regular intervals during the day. It seemed to work. At the very least I didn't have to take them to the infirmary.

I called Christina early in the day and told her that the kids were sick and we wouldn't be able to get together to start planning her wedding. She kept me on the phone for over an hour running different ideas by me though. She's really leaning toward the Amity farm that she told me about when we were planning my wedding for the location. After witnessing the beauty of an Amity bed and breakfast firsthand, I tell her that I think the farm is a great idea if Will wants to travel that far. She also contemplated contacting the Italian restaurant we ate at last night to see if they cater events. I told her she needed to contact the venue and see if they allow outside caterers before she contacts the restaurant. If she continues planning at this blurring pace, she can have her wedding next week. When I asked about the date, she told me that she and Will want to wait until after initiation is over … September, October timeframe. She also wants to make sure that they're comfortable leaving their baby with someone for a few days. I told her that she'll never be 100% okay with that. I finally got her off the phone when Tyler woke up and wanted some ginger tea for his upset stomach.

Tobias and I apprehensively tiptoed around each other all day, not quite bringing ourselves to look at each other. We were so embarrassed for getting caught making love by Tyler that we didn't know how to face each other. He seems to have forgotten about it or at the very least is satisfied that Tobias wasn't hurting me and that we're not breaking up. We were making a light lunch when we finally glanced at each other at the same time, our eyes locked, and we started laughing nervously. After we ate and the kids were asleep, we sat down on the couch, cuddled up with each other, and talked. Of course we were both mortified to be caught having sex, who wouldn't be, but we agreed that we handled the situation to the best of our abilities. I'm glad we had talked about how to handle it after he nearly caught us in the shower. We decided that we need to lock the door wherever we are, be it the bedroom or bathroom, and that unless the kids are out of the house, all other rooms are off limits.

After supper, I cleaned up the kitchen while Tobias took each of our sleeping children upstairs. He tucked Tyler into bed then brought Tessa up to our room and placed her in the bassinet. He also brought her rocking chair into the room for the night. She hasn't been eating very well and nursing about every hour so it's going to be another long night. I let Tobias get ready for bed, using the bathroom first, then it was my turn.

Once I realize I can't put off getting out of the shower anymore, I turn off the water, step out of the stall, and wrap my hair and body in fluffy towels. I put on the pajamas I brought in with me and dry my hair. When I walk into the bedroom, I notice Tobias is already asleep. I check on Tessa when I hear that she's awake. I take her out of the bassinet and sit down with her in the rocking chair in hopes of getting her back to sleep but I soon realize she's rooting again so I nurse her but just like the rest of the day, she doesn't eat much. It goes this way pretty much the entire night. About an hour of rest, I nurse her, then the three of us fitfully sleep.

"How's our girl?" Tobias asks, walking into the bedroom. He went downstairs to make us a pot of much needed coffee and brings two cups back with him.

"She's still not eating very well," I say, rocking my fussy baby who I'm extremely worried about. "She wants to eat every hour or so but she doesn't stay latched on very long. Her fever is 99.9, which is holding steady from yesterday. I think we need to take her to the doctor."

"I think you're right," he says. He picks up his phone off the night stand and hands it to me. I immediately dial the infirmary.

"Infirmary. Erin speaking," the nasally sounding intake nurse who doesn't like Tobias and me says.

"Hi, Erin. This is Tris Prior," I say trying to keep the contempt I feel for her out of my voice. "I need to make an appointment for Tessa and Tyler to see the doctor. I called and spoke to Dr. Parrish yesterday and he told me that if they didn't improve to have them seen." I hear her flipping through some pages in a book.

"Dr. Parrish has an opening at 10 a.m. this morning," she says. Damn that's when my prenatal appointment with Isobel is in the city.

"I'll take it," I say. "Thank you, Erin." I hang up and give the phone back to Tobias who puts it in his front pocket. "Dr. Parrish has an opening at 10 a.m. The only problem with that is I have a prenatal appointment at the exact same time. I can't do both. Maybe I should cancel."

"You keep your appointment, and I'll take the kids to see Zander," he says. "I know we're supposed to find out if Peanut is a boy or a girl today, and I would love nothing more than to be with you but I think it's more important that I take Tessa and Tyler to the doctor."

"I agree 100%, although I wish you were going with me," I say. "It doesn't seem right that I find out the sex without you. Should I have her wait until next month to do the ultrasound?"

"No," he says. "We've waited long enough already to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. I'm too excited. I really want to know."

"Me too," I say with an excited smile. When Tessa stops nursing, I take her temperature and it's still 99.9. Part of me is happy that it's not rising, but the other half is terrified something is really wrong with not only Tessa but Tyler, too. I change her diaper and put her in the same gown and hat outfit that we brought her home from the hospital in. I can really tell that she's grown in this outfit. The last time she wore this, it was too big and now it fits her perfectly. I put her in the bassinet then pick up my lukewarm coffee and drink it down needing a shot of caffeine. I go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I look very tired, and there are dark circle under my eyes. I love my kids with all my heart but they're making me look like hell. That thought makes me chuckle. I wouldn't change a thing.

"Are you feeling better?" I ask Tyler when I walk into his room. I sit on the side of his bed, place my lips on his forehead, and kiss him. He still feels warm and his complexion is very pale.

"No," he says.

"I'm sorry," I say. "Daddy is going to take you and sissy to see Zander at the infirmary. Hopefully, you'll start feeling better really soon."

"Mommy go wit me?" he asks.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I have my own appointment with Isobel today." I run my hand over my tummy. "I need to make sure the baby is okay."

"Him sick, too?" he asks. I love him so much.

"No, the baby isn't sick," I say, suppressing a laugh. "It's just a routine appointment but I can't miss it. How about we get you dressed then I'll take you downstairs and make you some toast. How does that sound?"

"Otay," he says. I get him out of bed, change is diaper, and dress him in a comfortable pair of lightweight sweat pants and a t-shirt then follow him downstairs where I make him a piece of toast. It's the only thing I've been able to get him to eat and keep down since he told us he didn't feel well. We sit down on the couch after he eats, and he lays down next to me with his head in my lap. Tobias comes downstairs carrying Tessa and puts her in the bassinet and goes into the kitchen to make us some scrambled eggs and toast.

After we eat, I feed Tessa again then we have to leave for our appointments. I walk with Tobias and the kids as far as the turn to go to the garage. I kiss each of the kids then kiss their father, tell them I love each one of them, and go my separate way. I'm preoccupied while I walk to the car, fretting over not being with my family when the kids are sick. I get in the car and have to force myself to concentrate on the road while I drive to the clinic. I find myself sulking because I'm not with Tobias and the kids and it makes me feel even guiltier so I think about Peanut trying to cheer myself up. It works. The gloomy cloud lifts just as I turn into the hospital's parking garage and I find that I'm terribly excited to find out if Peanut is a boy or a girl. I park on the first floor and walk across the empty street to the clinic. I stare out the waiting room window, waiting for my appointment after giving my name to the intake nurse but I don't have to wait long. Isobel comes for me and takes me back to the familiar examination room.

"Hi, Tris," she says. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm really tired," I say. "The kids are both sick, and I haven't gotten much sleep over the past 36 hours."

"Oh, that's too bad," she says. "I take it that's why Four's not with you today."

"He took them to the doctor," I say. "Unfortunately our appointments were at the same time. I was feeling a bit guilty for not being able to take them myself but I reminded myself how important these appointments are."

"If it helps, there's a bug going around the city," she says. "It's nothing serious – slight fever, abdominal distress. Does that sound like what they have?" I nod at her. "It lasts about 48 hours from beginning to end." Good it should be over soon for Tyler at least and hopefully Tessa doesn't get any worse before she gets any better.

"Thanks," I say. "That does make me feel a lot better."

"Well we better get down to business," she says opening the file folder in front of her. "This will take longer than other appointments because of the ultrasound." She looks through my chart. "How is the breastfeeding going? You haven't had any contractions have you?"

"It's going great. She has no problems nursing one bit. I like to joke and say she's a pro," I say with a happy smile. "There haven't been any contractions."

"That's great," she says making notations the entire time I talk. "How have you been feeling the past four weeks?"

"It's been an emotional rollercoaster because of the custody battle but since we signed the adoption papers, I haven't noticed the erratic mood swings I was having earlier," I say.

"No more planning Four's death?" she asks with a chuckle. I blush slightly remembering my unpredictable frame of mind when I first became pregnant.

"No," I say. "No more death threats." We both laugh lightly.

"Have you still been experiencing nausea and morning sickness?" she asks.

"You know I haven't for the past two to three weeks," I say. "I've been so busy I hadn't even noticed."

"Have you felt the baby move yet?" she asks.

"No, I haven't," I say, suddenly worried that something could be wrong with Peanut. "Is that normal?"

"Calm down, Tris," she says with a little bit of exasperation in her voice. She knows my tendency to overreact when it comes to my family. "It's perfectly normal. I imagine that anytime within the next couple weeks you'll feel movement for the first time. Have you experienced any pain or bleeding during or after sexual intercourse?"

"No," I say. I'm becoming more and more comfortable talking to her about sex. I'm actually more comfortable with _Isobel_ than Christina but I would never tell my best friend that. She would disown me or kill me depending on her mood. "Neither of those things. I have felt more … aroused the past couple weeks. Is that normal?"

"Perfectly," Isobel says. "That's actually a perk of the second trimester. As long as you and Four are comfortable and you're having no complications, you can enjoy sex right up until you deliver. I would say that from now until delivery that he shouldn't put any pressure on your abdomen."

"We've noticed that already," I say. "It's not exactly painful with him on top but there's an uncomfortable pressure so we tried other positions."

"I'm glad you changed things up when you felt something wasn't quite right. You would be surprised how many women don't listen to their bodies," she says shaking her head. "Have you had any spotting or bleeding?"

"No," I say.

"Okay then," she says. "I have every confidence that if something were wrong you would let me know immediately. Alright let's proceed with the physical examination." She has me get off the examination table and stand on the scale. I've gained seven pounds total. She assures me that is quite normal and a good number. I go into the bathroom just across the hall and fill a specimen cup for the routine urinalysis. When I come back into the room, she instructs me to sit back down and proceeds to check my blood pressure, which is in the normal range. She tells me that all the tests run last visit came back normal while she draws another couple vials of blood. She tells me what they're checking for including preeclampsia. When I hear that word I visibly tense not hearing another thing Isobel says. "What's wrong, Tris?"

"Four's mom had that," I anxiously say. "Is it possible for me to get it? Preeclampsia, I mean."

"Actually, it is," she says. "I will watch your blood pressure and urinalysis closely. Some things you can watch for are swelling, sudden nausea and vomiting, headaches, sudden weight gain, changes in vision, anxiety and shortness of breath, back pain, upper quadrant pain, and shoulder pain, which is a referred pain from the abdomen."

"How do I differentiate these from normal everyday pregnancy symptoms?" I ask, suddenly fearful that I could end up in the hospital like Evelyn ... or worse. I can't leave my kids without a mother and Tobias without a wife.

"I don't want you to worry about getting this. Just be vigilant with the symptoms. Upper right quadrant pain is usually felt under the ribs on the right side. It's often confused with heartburn, indigestion, or a gallbladder attack. Shoulder pain is referred pain that radiates from the liver under the right ribs to the shoulder. Lower back pain is different from muscle strain that is commonly felt in pregnancy because it is usually acute and specific instead of chronic and ambiguous. Pain in these areas is very serious and you should not dismiss it. You should go to the infirmary as soon as possible. I would rather have you over react than be sorry later.

"A headache that won't go away is cause for concern. If you've taken acetaminophen with no relief, it is _extremely_ painful, or it is accompanied by light sensitivity, call me or the infirmary and schedule an appointment for that day and we'll check you out

"If you develop sudden onset nausea and vomiting, go to the infirmary and insist on a urine protein test and a blood pressure check to rule out preeclampsia. You really shouldn't have these symptoms now that you're in your second trimester.

"I want you to go to the infirmary every Monday morning and have your blood pressure checked. I will contact Dr. Parrish with this order and have the results sent to me so I can enter the readings into your chart," she says. "If we notice it raising, I will prescribe a home monitoring cuff but it's expensive and not necessary when you have access to a doctor on a regular basis. Does this information help, or did I concern you further?" I take a couple calming breaths.

"I have to admit, all this information is a bit overwhelming," I say, automatically cradling my tummy. "But I'll do anything though to keep my baby safe."

"I know you will," she says with a warm, friendly smile. "I won't say there will never be complications but I will tell you this, Tris, to date your pregnancy is quite unremarkable. I know that sounds harsh but in truth an unremarkable pregnancy is what every woman wants. You are right on track in every category that I've checked today. Speaking of which, it's time for your ultrasound. You can change into a paper drape or you can pull your pants down and shirt up to display your abdomen to me.

"You know how I feel about those paper drapes," I say lying back on the examination table in a reclined position, pulling my pants down around my hips, and lifting my shirt under my breasts.

"I know but I like to ask anyway," she says with a grin. She gently feels all around my abdomen then takes a flexible tape measure out of the drawer on the ultrasound machine cart she pulled over before she got started. She tells me she's measuring the fundal height, which lets her assess the baby's position, growth rate, and size. "Perfect just like I thought, 19 cm. Ready to hear your baby?"

"Yes," I say. She puts the cold, clear gel on my tummy and starts running the transducer through it, searching for my little peanut. The roaring gallop throughout the room brings a smile to my face. I look toward the monitor but there's no picture yet.

"Heart rate is 143 beats per minute," she says. "I have to ask, do you still want to know the sex of the baby since Four isn't with you?"

"We talked about it before I left," I say excitedly. "We still want to know."

"Okay," she says. She switches the monitor on and turns it to face us. What I see on that screen takes my breath away and brings tears to my eyes. Peanut no longer looks like a tiny peanut, he … or she looks like an actual baby. I don't know why this surprises me but it does. "This is the head. You can see the nose and lips. Right here is the ear." She is pointing out each thing as she says it. "Here is a hand. Look at the little fingers." Sure enough. On the screen is a tiny little hand that looks like it's waving at us. "Obviously this is the body. Here is a foot. Here's the other one. I am confirming your due date as October 9. Are you sure you want to know the sex?"

"Yes," I say barely able to contain my excitement.

"Okay," she says moving the wand and focusing on a specific part of my baby. "Do you see that?" I study the screen for a moment.

"I do," I say. "What am I looking at? It kind of looks like a blob to me." She chuckles.

"I get that a lot," she says. "These lines here? That's her little girl parts."

"Girl," I whisper, tears flooding my eyes. I didn't think that's what I wanted to hear but knowing that I'm carrying Tobias' daughter makes me extremely happy, and I now realize I didn't care as long as my little peanut is healthy. "Tobias' girl."

"I'm taking a few different shots for you to show Four," she says. She takes a picture of her head and her waving at us. She then gets a full body shot and a close up telling us she is in fact a girl, although I still can't see it.

"Thank you," I say wiping away the stray tears when she hands me the pictures. "Four will love this."

"You're welcome," she says. "Let's go over everything from today's visit." She starts at the beginning and recaps all the important topics. She reminds me of the preeclampsia symptoms and gives me a pamphlet so I'll have a reference in case I get one or more of the symptoms. She also gives me a pamphlet detailing sex during pregnancy, and I turn bright red. She laughs off my embarrassment and tells me there are some great tips in there for different positions. It also gives symptoms of complications to watch out for. I quietly thank her because I know it will come in handy. "I'd like to see you back in four weeks. Don't forget to make an appointment before you leave. Do you have any questions?" I think about her question for a moment.

"I don't think so," I say getting down off the examination table and adjusting my clothes. "I'll see you in a month." I go out to the waiting room and make my next appointment for four weeks from today, June 20. I cross the street to the hospital garage to retrieve my car. I quickly drive back to Dauntless excited to see not only Tobias and give him the news but hear what Zander had to say about Tyler and Tessa. I park the car in our usual spot and try to figure out how to tell Tobias that Peanut is a girl. I want to make the moment special but I don't have a clue how to do that. Maybe I should ask Christina her opinion.

I hear footsteps rapidly approaching me from behind and just as I turn my head to look in their direction someone slams into me and puts their hand over my mouth. I try to scream but it's no use, the hand covering my face is too large. When I feel a sharp pinch on the side of my neck, I slump back into my attacker, and my world spirals away into black.

When I come to, I'm tied to a chair in an unfamiliar space. Everything about it – the smell, the moisture in the air, the stone walls – reminds me of a dark, damp cave. I'm confident I'm still in Dauntless somewhere near the river but I know I've never been here before. I struggle against my bindings to no avail. I can see someone in the shadows in front of me and hear someone else pacing nervously behind me.

"What's going on?" I ask, my voice pitifully low.

"You're awake," says a familiar voice that makes me skin crawl ... Peter. Fear and anger run through me, mixing in my veins. "I was going to do this a different way but my new friend here said it would be better to _tell_ you what I have planned for you."

"You don't _have_ any friends, Peter," I say, my head throbbing. I hear an evil laugh and immediately know who Peter's new friend is ... Marcus. How the hell did _they_ meet? I wonder what they have planned. I feel him come up beside me, and I look up into his face.

"I told you I would get you one day and you wouldn't see me coming," he says with an evil grin. I can tell he's holding something in his hand but I can't quite make it out. "You're wondering what this is aren't you." He holds his hand up, and I can see a syringe. Are they going to give me death serum? Can I fight it off again? What will it do to my baby?

"Please don't," I say.

"You don't even know what we intend to do," Peter says.

"In this syringe is something very near and dear to my heart. I'm going to administer it to you, and you are going to forget all about Tobias, Tyler, and Tessa. It's going to be like they never existed to you. I've programmed this syringe of memory serum to make you think you, your parents, and brother came from Dauntless and that they all died shortly after you joined Candor," _Candor?_ "and that you are about to marry Peter here," Marcus says with a vicious smile on his face. I can feel tears overflow my eyes and stream down my face. They are going to erase my life with Tobias and give me to Peter, the man who tried to rape me. "Oh, you'll also think the little bastard you're carrying is Peter's. I hope you enjoy my revenge, because I'm going to." He laughs maliciously. "Then I'm going to give you is a shot to make your milk supply dry up. You won't miss it since you won't know you even _have_ a baby." He takes the last few remaining steps to me and roughly inserts the needle into my neck and injects the serum into my bloodstream. I hang my head, defeated, as this new serum rushes through my body, carried in my adrenaline-spiked blood. _You can't forget Tobias or Tyler or Tessa, you just_ can't. _Remember, remember, remember._ I chant the mantra to myself as my world slowly goes black.


	56. Chapter 56

I wake up with a headache that I swear could kill an adult male rhinoceros instantaneously and groan loudly. I stretch my heavy arms and hit a hard body, which is lying next to me and I frown. I really wasn't expecting him to be in bed with me this morning since we're getting married later today. We've been looking forward to this day for so long. I can't believe it's finally here. He rolls over and catches me looking at him, which I know he hates. His tired dark green eyes startle me for a moment. I wonder what set off that reaction. They're the same beautiful eyes I've been waking up to for months.

"Good morning, Peter," I say with a bit of a frown. "What are you doing in bed with me?" Shock changes his face, and he starts to stutter uncontrollably.

"Uh ... I'm ... we … um," he says, all the color slowly draining from his face.

"We're getting married this evening," I say, rolling my eyes at him. I've never seen him so flustered. "Why are you here with me? You promised me that you would sleep at a friend's place last night and make yourself scarce today. It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding." I see him visibly calm and his color return to normal.

"You know I don't believe in old wives' tales like that," he says, smiling warmly at me. Maybe it's cold feet or stress but that smile used to set off swarms of butterflies in my tummy and today … nothing. He moves closer to me, wrapping me tightly in his arms and gently, almost tentatively, places his full lips to mine and softly kisses me. For some reason it feels all wrong. We break apart, and he looks down at me, love and something else that I can't quite touch radiating from his eyes. I manage to muster a smile for my almost husband but something is off this morning. That kiss seemed like a mediocre first kiss not a kiss between familiar lovers who are expecting their first child together in 20 short weeks. I remember kisses between us that could melt steel. Why did this one feel so different? I'm sure everything will go back to normal once we say our "I Do's" in our simple ceremony tonight. He puts his mouth on my neck, kissing me tenderly. His hand, which is lightly on my waist then starts to slowly glide upward under my sleep shirt toward my sore breasts but I catch it and gently push him away.

"No way, mister," I say. "You may not believe in old wives tales but I do. It's bad enough that we've already seen each other today. There is absolutely no way on earth that there will be sex on the morning of our wedding." He looks at me with puppy dog eyes. "You can beg all you want. It's _not_ going to happen."

"Fine," he says somewhat gruffly, the look on his face a complete 180. "I want you down in the kitchen making breakfast. I have a couple errands to run. Don't leave the apartment. You promised. Remember?" _That_ I remember. He begged me last night not to go out alone anymore. The last time I was out, I was cornered by two factionless men begging for food. They roughed me up a little bit. I still think he's being overprotective but he tells me he's doing it because he loves me.

"Of course, Peter," I say. Why does this man in front of me seem like a totally different person than who I fell in love with? I also wonder why he's in such a bad mood this morning. It should be one of the happiest days of his life. "I'll make your favorite." Suddenly I'm not sure I know what that is anymore. "Bacon and eggs, right?" He nods once, kisses my cheek, and then rolls out of bed and heads into the bathroom. When I look at his naked backside a flash of a large detailed faction tattoo crosses my mind. I try to remember seeing it in the Dauntless tattoo parlor I frequented when I was a kid but nothing comes to mind except for more aching in my head. I sit up, pull on my silky white robe, and walk out into our apartment. I look around and my temples throbs painfully. I go to the kitchen and search though the cupboards until I find everything I need to make breakfast. I'm just finishing his eggs as he walks through the door. He gives me a bright happy smile, walks toward me, and gives me a quick kiss on the mouth.

"I'm sorry I was grouchy with you earlier, Beatrice. I think I was having a case of cold feet but I'm better now," he says. "I love you more than anything. You know that right?"

"Of course, I know that," I say, although I still have this nagging doubt in the back of my mind flashing something's not right over and over. "I love you, too, Peter. I wouldn't be marrying you this evening if I didn't." I pick up the plates off the counter, give him a quick kiss on the cheek, then we sit down at the small whitewashed wooden table in our tiny dining room. I watch him carefully as we eat. He seems exceptionally content and agitated all at the same time. I would like to talk to him about what's going on in his mind but he's so moody right now that I'm afraid of his reaction, and I've never been frightened of him before. God I hate feeling this way about him, especially on our wedding day.

"Have you given any thought to what we discussed yesterday?" he asks, interrupting my reverie and pulling me back to the present. I furrow my brows in concentration but nothing comes to me. "I make plenty of money as a clerk of court. I would like you to stay home with the baby. We don't need two incomes."

"A stay-at-home mom?" I ask. "Wow, I don't remember talking about that at all."

"You've been so distracted lately," he says. "I think it's the wedding. Well, what do you think?"

"I'm not sure," I say. "I can't imagine staying at home all the time. Don't get me wrong I love this baby more than anything but I think I'll need adult company from time-to-time."

"Aren't _I_ adult company enough for you?" he asks with a hard look on his face. I sigh loudly. I pissed him off.

"I need more in my life than just you and the kids, however many we decide to have," I say with a smile. He doesn't smile back. "You're mad. I didn't mean to make you angry. Just think about this, Peter. What if I asked you to stay home, never go out without you? How would that make you feel?"

"Loved, protected, important," he says without hesitation. I see that I can't argue with him. I breathe deeply, feeling the need to make peace.

"I'll make you a deal. I'll stay home until the kids are school aged then I'll go back to work," I say. I can see the wheels turning in his mind deciding if he likes my offer or not.

"You have a deal, Beatrice," he says his hard look turning into a winning yet vindictive smile. "I knew we could compromise." My head starts throbbing again, and I wince involuntarily. "Hey, are you okay?"

"No," I say. "My head is absolutely killing me." I look toward the clock on the wall. "There's plenty of time for me to lie down before I have to get ready. Are you staying home today?"

"Yeah," he says.

"Will you do me a favor? Wake me up in a few hours?" I ask. "I'm hoping some rest will make me feel better." I head down the hallway into our bedroom. I go straight into the bathroom and take two acetaminophen tablets then lie down. I close my eyes and fall into a fitful sleep. My dreams are plagued by unfamiliar sights and people: A clear blue pond, a tall muscular man with dark hair and gorgeous dark blue eyes wearing a black tuxedo smiling down at me, a veil of tall trees, a rundown house, my mother and father dressed in gray standing in the doorway of a plain gray house, a very happy young boy going down a slide, climbing a very tall tower, my brother pushing fake glasses up his nose, a little dark-brown-haired baby girl smiling brightly at me. I wake with a start when someone touches my shoulder.

"I didn't mean to startle you," Peter softly says. "You've been asleep for hours. How are you feeling? You look really pale. I'm worried about you." He runs his hand across my forehead then down my cheek. "You are a tad bit warm."

"I've felt better," I say, "but at least the headache is gone." I look at the clock on the nightstand. "We need to get ready."

"I'm going to my parents to get dressed," he says. "I'll be back to pick you up after a while."

"I can't believe you made me wait to meet your parents until our wedding day," I say, shaking my head.

"I told you that I didn't want to introduce you to them until we knew where the relationship was heading. When we finally figured out how serious we had become, we didn't want to share each other so we made the decision to wait," he says. "You agreed."

"I'm not complaining," I say putting my arms around his neck and pulling his mouth to mine. I kiss him tenderly but don't let it deepen. Why does it feel so wrong? "I just want them to like me."

"They'll love you just like I do," he says, putting his lips back on mine. He kisses me aggressively, and I break away breathless.

"I love you, too," I say. "I need to get ready. Now go!" I push him away, get up, and go into the bathroom. I hang the robe on the back of the door and strip out of my pajamas. I take a long hot shower, trying to let the doubt I'm having wash down the drain. I don't even know where the hesitation is coming from. I haven't felt this way before. Until right now, I've been completely certain about him … about us. Now I'm not so sure. I take a couple deep, cleansing breaths and concentrate on the hot water beating down on my naked body. I decide to push away any reservations and just enjoy my wedding day.

I exfoliate every inch of my body leaving a silky smooth canvas. I step out of the shower and wrap myself in a scratchy towel. I quickly dry myself off not wanting prolonged contact with the uncomfortable fabric. I look through the medicine cabinet for some lotion. I finally find a blue bottle of delightful smelling coconut oil lotion and rub it in all over my body paying special attention to my expanding abdomen, sore breasts, and chafed nipples. I wonder momentarily how they got that way. I stare at myself in the large mirror trying to figure out what to do with my hair but I'm at a loss. I open the drawer on the vanity and find several cosmetics that look brand new. I line my eyes with the dark gray liner bringing out their blue, put a light pink blush on my cheeks that enhance my high cheekbones, and paint my lips with a barely-there light coral-colored lip stain that improves upon my natural coloring. I run my hands through my hair and sigh. This is going to be a disaster.

I slip into my robe and walk into my bedroom. I walk directly to my closet, and when I open it up, it's full of men's clothes. "What is _wrong_ with me?" I sigh. "Why can't I _find_ anything today?" I shut the door and go to the other closet and I gasp. It's nearly as big as this room. I slowly walk in and look at everything. There are racks upon racks of shoes, purses, skirts, pants, blouses, jackets, dresses, and so much more. In the back, hanging off a black decorative hook, is a white garment bag. As I slowly lower the zipper, pain shoots through my head again. When my eyes focus I see a beautiful wedding dress in front of me. I can tell by the cut and style that it's the maternity dress I picked out just one short week ago. I have a flash of shopping with someone for a dress but I can't place the face. It's kind of a blur and when I try to remember who the tall, pregnant, dark-skinned woman is my head hurts like hell. What's going on? I rub my sore head then take the dress out of its cover. I look at the beautiful soft white garment and smile. It's knee length instead of floor length. The V-neck wrap design has a gentle ruffle-like detail and elegant diamond brooch on the princess waistband that emphasizes my growing belly. It's beautiful but it is not the timeless, traditional gown I've always envisioned myself wearing on my wedding day.

I slip out of the robe and find a set of lacy white lingerie to wear then I put on the dress. I look at myself in the full length mirror also located in this cavernous closet and love how I look. I turn and search through the numerous shoes until I find a simple pair of 2-inch white pumps. I step into them and slowly twirl a few times in front of the mirror. Now I need to figure out my hair. I go back in the bathroom and retrieve a small tray of hair accessories out of the same drawer my makeup is in. I decide on a simple bun at the back of my head and put two large matching diamond studded semicircular combs on either side of it making it look sparking diamonds encircle the bun. I double check how I look and realize that I'm ready.

I turn off all the lights in the sizable master suite and go into the living room to wait for Peter. I sit down on the couch and look around the room. When I focus on items that don't look familiar my head starts pounding. I close my eyes wishing to make the pain go away. I doze off and strange images play in my mind like an unfamiliar slide show. I see myself standing on top of a tall building wearing Abnegation gray before jumping into a dark pit. I feel myself sitting on slippery, damp rocks next to rushing water in a dimly lit space watching a ring slide onto my left hand. I see and smell black cherry votive candles lining a hexagonal-shaped room with a huge bed in the center. I see myself walking up a red-rose-petal-covered white aisle wearing a traditional wedding gown toward a fuzzy figure in a black tuxedo. I watch myself put a squirming tiny infant to my breast. I feel my heart rip out of my chest as a small boy calls me Mommy. I see Peter looking extremely angry standing with his body pressed up against mine. My heart races, and I wake with a start just as Peter walks in the door.

"Good, you're ready," he says with a smile. When he looks my way the smile fades. "Are you okay, Beatrice?"

"I dozed off waiting for you," I say. "I just had a very disturbing dream."

"I'm sure it was nothing," he says, although his face doesn't show that. "Dreams are just a way of working things out." No matter how hard I try, I can't erase the image of Peter's livid face in my mind.

"I'm sure you're right," I say. "Is it time to go?"

"It sure is," he says. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," I say. I get up from the couch and move to my fiancé who I have to admit looks handsome in a black tux, crisp white shirt, and a cummerbund the same green color as his eyes.

"You look beautiful," he says. "But I think this will make you look even better." He takes an emerald and diamond heart-shaped necklace out of his pocket and puts it around my neck. It lays just above my impressive cleavage.

"Thank you!" I say. "It's beautiful." I give him a quick, soft kiss. "We better go." He opens the door of our apartment, places his hand on the small of my back, and leads me out into the hallway. He looks around nervously as he leads me toward the small elevator at the end of the corridor. We take it down to the lobby where we then exit the building, cross the courtyard, and make our way into the next building. As we move closer to his parent's apartment, my heart rate increases nervously. I take several deep, cleansing breaths trying to slow my hammering heart but it doesn't decrease one bit. We step off the elevator and walk to the first door on the left. I look up at Peter, and he gives me a reassuring smile then knocks on the door. It opens almost immediately to reveal a tall dark-haired man with unruly, bushy eyebrows wearing a tuxedo matching his son's and a short timid-looking woman with chin-length red hair dressed in a black skirt with an asymmetrical hemline and white camisole with a lace overlay. I have a strong sense of déjà vu looking at his parents. I swear I've seen them before. I have a flash of them standing next to Peter but he's head-to-toe in black, and I know I've never seen him dressed that way. When I concentrate on the picture, my head throbs painfully.

"Beatrice," Peter says, worry and aggravation in his voice. "Did your headache come back?"

"Yes," I quietly say. This isn't making a good first impression on my soon to be in-laws. Peter crosses the room to the kitchen and retrieves me two acetaminophen tablets and a glass of water. He brings it back to me, and I immediately take the medicine. "Thank you, Peter."

"I would like to introduce you to my parents, Porter and Ruth Hayes," he says. "Mom, Dad, _this_ is Beatrice."

"Mr. and Mrs. Hayes," I say, "it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I'm sorry Peter and I waited so long to get together with you."

"It's our pleasure to make your acquaintance," Ruth says. "Please come in and sit down." She ushers us into the small living room that looks disturbingly similar to ours, and I sit on the couch next to Peter.

"Tell us a little about yourself," Porter says. "Our son has told us a little but not much I'm afraid."

"Well I was born in Dauntless. Unfortunately I lost my parents and brother almost a year ago in an auto accident. They were on their way to Amity for pumpkin picking when the car malfunctioned and flipped over killing them instantly." A couple tears gather in my eyes as I tell my story but in my heart it doesn't feel true. Maybe I'm still in denial that I'll never see my family ever again. "Peter and I met during initiation. I'm afraid we didn't hit it off right away. I thought he was a bit … rough around the edges."

"I'm afraid I have to agree with her," he says, laughing lightly. "I thought she was a bit overbearing but one day I looked at her and realized I liked her spunky attitude."

"He asked me out, and once we got to know each other I realized he was really a teddy bear in a gruff exterior," I say with a smile. "I love him very much." He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to him.

"So do you know if you're carrying our granddaughter or grandson?" Porter asks loudly. I think my soon to be father-in-law might be hard of hearing.

"We haven't found out yet," Peter says. I furrow my eyebrows.

"I guess I dreamt that a nurse told me we're having a girl," I say, feeling a bit confused. "It seemed so real but Peter's right, my next appointment isn't until early next month. That's when my ultrasound is."

"Do you want a boy or girl?" Ruth asks.

"I really would like a boy," I say.

"Me too," Peter says. I could have sworn he wanted a girl. I must be losing my mind today. It must be the stress of getting married and meeting his parents. "We decided just today that Beatrice will stay at home with the baby. Isn't that exciting?"

"I stayed at home with Peter," Ruth says. "I loved being a mother. I still do. If you ever need any advice you can come to me, dear."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hayes," I say.

"Please call me Ruth," she says. "I know we will become great friends one day."

"I feel the same way, Ruth," I say. "It will be nice to have a mother figure in my life again."

"I hate to cut this visit short but you have an appointment with the justice of the peace in 30 minutes. It's going to take us 20 minutes to get there. If we leave right now we'll be just in time," Porter says. The four of us get up and move toward the door. Peter walks close beside me with his hand on my back, his eyes darting back and forth suspiciously taking in our surroundings on our way to the Merchandise Mart.

"Are you okay?" I ask as we walk into our headquarters. He looks down at me nervously. "You look like you want to run the other way. If you're having second thoughts we don't have to go through with this." I wonder why the thought of him backing out relieves me.

"I'm just nervous," he says. "I want to marry you and make you mine." For some reason I don't like the way that sounds.

"Stop fretting then," I say anyway. We follow Porter and Ruth to the elevator and head up to the 12th floor. We walk through the monochromatic maze-like hallways to the correct room. I'm glad they weren't following me. I would have gotten us all lost.

"Can we have a moment, Mom and Dad?" Peter asks. They knock on the door then enter when prompted and leave us alone. "I just wanted a minute alone before we go in." He takes my hands and looks down in my eyes. "I can't believe that all my dreams are coming true today. I'm going to give you a good life, Beatrice. I love you." He puts his hands on either side of my face and slowly moves his mouth to mine. He gives me a hard, intense kiss before breaking away. He holds the door open for me, and I move forward toward the rest of my life.


	57. Chapter 57

Peter and I walk hand-in-hand into the quaint judge's chambers to get married in an intimate family only ceremony. It reminds me of a room I was once in but I can't quite place when or where. The walls are covered in a dark cherry wood. There's actually an electric fireplace on one of the walls giving the room a very homey feel. The tall ceiling has a deep coffered detailing in the same color as the walls. Again a strange sense of déjà vu washes over me, giving me an uncomfortable feeling. Have I been in this room? We walk toward his parents and an older-looking gentleman in a pair of recently pressed black dress pants, crisp short-sleeved white button-down shirt, and black tie with diagonal white stripes. I guess I was expecting him to be wearing a judge's robe instead of pedestrian clothes. Suddenly I find myself wishing my own parents could be here witnessing my wedding day like his mom and dad are, and grief rains down on me. I take a moment to wallow in self-pity then shake it off. This is my day. There's no need to be sad. I know they are looking down on me smiling.

"Hello, Peter, Beatrice," the judge says when we reach him. "My name is Judge Hansen. I'll be the one performing the ceremony today. Are you ready to get started?"

"Yes," we say at the same time.

"Beatrice, will you please stand here?" he asks pointing to his left. I stand exactly where he tells me to and Peter stands directly across from me. His parents stand on either side of us to witness the ceremony. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses to join Peter and Beatrice in lawful marriage. It is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly but respectfully and soberly. If any of you can show just cause why these two shall not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." He pauses for a moment to allow someone to voice their concern but none of us speak so he smiles and continues.

"This is the day you have chosen to join your lives together as one. We are here, not only to witness your commitment to each other, but also to wish you every happiness in your future life together," he says. "Peter, will you take Beatrice to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her for as long as you both shall live?"

"I will," he says staring into my eyes with a severe look on his face.

"Beatrice, will you take Peter to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you love, honor, comfort, cherish, and obey him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?"

"I will," I say with a forced smile. _Obey?_ The doubt I was feeling earlier creeps back up on me.

"Please take each other's hands and repeat after me," the judge says. Peter takes my hands in his, and we stare into each other's eyes. "I Peter take you Beatrice to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward."

"I Peter take you Beatrice to be my wedded wife," he repeats, his voice quivering with emotion, "to have and to hold from this day forward."

"For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish, till death do us part," the judge says.

"For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish, till death do us part," he repeats.

"I Beatrice take you Peter to be my wedded husband," Judge Hansen says, "to have and to hold from this day forward."

"I Beatrice take you Peter to be my wedded husband," I repeat, my voice sounding loud and clear, "to have and to hold from this day forward."

"For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love, honor, and cherish, till death do us part."

"For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love, honor, and cherish, till death do us part," I repeat.

"May I have the rings?" the judge asks. Peter reaches into his pocket and draws out two simple gold rings. As he hands them to the judge, I see a flash of an infinity symbol in my mind. The judge holds up our rings. "The ring is the symbol of the commitment which binds these two together. There are two rings because there are two people, each to make a contribution to the life of the other, and to their new life together." He hands my ring to Peter.

"With this ring, I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of my love and commitment," Peter says as he slips my simple stoneless wedding ring on my left hand. Then the judge hands me Peter's ring.

"With this ring, I thee wed," I say, slipping his ring on his finger. "Wear it as a symbol of my love and commitment."

"Now that Peter and Beatrice have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, the joining of hands, and giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce they are husband and wife. Congratulations. Peter, you may kiss your bride." Peter slowly inclines his head toward mine and places his lips on mine. We softly move our lips together for a moment then his parents are on us with their congratulations.

"I can't believe my baby is married," Ruth says, happy tears evident in her eyes. "Congratulations! I am so happy for you and Beatrice. Welcome to the family, sweetheart." She hugs me tightly.

"Peter, I wish you every happiness, son," his father says with a stiff handshake. "Beatrice, welcome to the family. I can't wait to get to know you better." He puts a stiff arm around my shoulder and gives me an awkward hug. He is definitely not a touchy-feely kind of guy. That is evident.

"Thank you for welcoming me so graciously into your family, Mr. and Mrs. Hayes," I say. "I truly appreciate it. It's been hard since I lost my parents and brother. I look forward to once again being a part of a family."

"Now dear, you really need to start calling us Porter and Ruth," she says. "No more of this formal nonsense. We're family now."

"Of course, Ruth," I say shyly. "You are absolutely right."

"I hate to cut this celebration short but Beatrice and I have plans to keep," Peter says. "Thank you for being our witnesses, Mom and Dad. We'll get together soon for dinner." We say our goodbyes and walk out into the hallway. He leads me back down the unfamiliar corridors to the elevator, which we take to the lobby. We stroll hand-in-hand from the Merchandise Mart to our apartment building in comfortable silence. He seems much more at ease than he did before the ceremony but I notice his eyes still scanning our surroundings like he's on the lookout for trouble. Within minutes we're walking through the doorway of our apartment and I gasp. Standing in the middle of the living room is a tall, pretty woman with dark auburn-colored hair.

"I'm so sorry, Pete," she says embarrassedly, looking directly in my eyes with a startled look in her eyes. "You guys got home before I could finish setting everything up." Once I look around I realize there is a dinner for two in our small dining room complete with roses and candlelight.

"It's okay," he says, his voice tight. I look at the attractive woman but there is zero recognition. I'm confident I've never seen her before. "Beatrice, this is a friend of mine, Nicki. Nicki, this is my _wife_ , Beatrice"

"It's nice to meet a friend of Peter's," I say outstretching my hand to her. She takes it, and we shake hands cordially, although I feel like she's sizing me up.

"You too," she says with an odd grin on her face. "I'll be leaving now. See you later, Pete." They give each other a knowing look like they have a secret. He walks her to the door then locks it behind her.

"Sorry about that. She was supposed to be gone before we got back," he says. "Surprise!"

"Why haven't I met her before if you're such good friends?" I say. I'm surprised when the words come out actually sounding like I'm jealous because I'm not. I'm suspicious.

"She's more of an _acquaintance_ than a friend," he says trying to sound nonchalant but not quite managing it. "I met her my first day at work." I just stare at him. He finally says, "I'm sorry I never told you about her. I really didn't think it was a big deal." I decide to drop it and enjoy the surprise he planned for us. I'm sure that once the romantic evening starts everything will go back to normal and I'll stop feeling apprehensive about him.

"What is all this?" I ask going over to the dining room. In the middle of the table sits a vase full of red roses, baby's breath, and greenery surrounded by two lit red taper candles. He walks up behind me.

"I wanted to give you a perfect evening," he says putting his hands on my shoulder and his mouth up to my ear. This action usually gives me chills but tonight is actually makes me feel uncomfortable. I have to resist the urge to push him away. "This is just the beginning. Prime rib, baked potatoes with all the trimmings, steamed green beans, Caesar salad, and blueberry cheesecake." The mention of food reminds me that I haven't eaten since breakfast and my stomach growls.

"This is wonderful," I say turning to face him. He bends slightly and gives me a soft kiss. He pulls out a chair from the table for me, and I sit down. I look up over my shoulder and say, "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," he says leaning over and placing a sweet little peck on my cheek. He gets us each a champagne flute of sparkling cider then sits down. "How are you feeling?"

"To be honest I've felt better," I say. "I have a headache again, I'm a little nauseous, and I'm extremely tired."

"I'm so sorry," he says. "Do you think you're coming down with something?"

"Unfortunately," I say with a sigh. "I hate being sick."

"I know what you mean," he says. "Do you want something different to eat? This heavy meal can't be good for you."

"No, this is wonderful," I say putting another bite of potato in my mouth. "Maybe part of my problem is that I'm really hungry."

"I'm sorry," he says. "I should have made sure that we got some lunch. I guess my mind was focused on other things." Our eyes lock and he smiles at me. "Have I told you today how much I love you?" Emotion is very thick in his voice. I stare into his eyes and no one would doubt the words that he is saying now. The doubt I've been feeling today must have been cold feet. "I love you more than anything. You are everything to me. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. Shall we take this into the bedroom?" He pushes his plate away from him and gets up. He walks around the table and holds his hand out to me. I hesitate momentarily then put my fork down, take his outstretched hand, and he helps me to my feet.

He leads me to our bedroom and closes the door behind us. We stand nervously staring at each other like it's our first time. He takes two steps toward me and takes the combs, rubber band, and pins out of my hair then runs his fingers through it a few times, moving it to frame my face. He slides his hands down to my cheeks and inclines my mouth to his. He pulls me closer and kisses me aggressively. He forces his tongue into my mouth and mates it with mine vigorously. I do my best to keep up. He takes his hands off me but not his mouth and hurriedly tears his tuxedo jacket off and tosses it to the floor. He then rips his tie off. He moves his mouth to my neck and reaches around me and lowers my zipper. He runs his hands up my arms and slips my dress off my shoulders, and I watch it land at my feet in a pile. He takes a step back and looks at me. "My God! You're beautiful. I love you, Beatrice. Undress me."

I put my trembling hands on the top button of his crisp white shirt and move it from its buttonhole. I wish I knew why I was so nervous. This is ridiculous. I haven't been this nervous since the night of the Christmas party when we first made love. I finally get the rest of his buttons undone as quickly as I can, although it takes me longer than normal. I slide my hands up his chest, which is lightly sprinkled with course hair and push his shirt off his shoulders. He sweeps me up in his arms, and his lips land on mine in a ferocious kiss.

"Slow down, slow down. We have all night," I can barely get out.

"I'm sorry," he breathlessly says. "It's just that I've been waiting for this for so long."

"What?" I say. He's talking like we've never done this before. I remember going at it pretty hot just last Saturday night, which causes me to blush brightly.

"I only mean that I've been waiting so long to make love to my _wife_ ," he says moving us across the room. He gently lays me down in the middle of the bed then lies down beside me. He puts his soft lips on mine and kisses me energetically. His hand slides up my body until it lands on my aching breast. He kneads gently while his mouth moves with mine. I run my hand up and down his back while the kiss unbelievably becomes even more aggressive. He moves his hands beneath me and undoes my bra then slides it down my arms and tosses it to the side. When he looks at me, he gasps and his eyes glaze over with lust.

"You're looking at me like you've never seen me before," I say trying to catch my breath.

"Every time l see you it's like the first time," he says, kissing his way down my neck until he reaches my chest. He captures one breast with the palm of his hand and squeezes roughly while his hot, wet lips draw my other nipple into his mouth, his tongue lapping at it fiercely. I wince from the rough treatment. After a minute of aggressive attention to my chest he leans up and practically rips my panties off then quickly unbuttons his pants and pushes them down his hips. He maneuvers himself between my outstretched legs and enters me in one powerful drive, eliciting a scream from me and it's not from pleasure. I wasn't ready. He starts rocking above me aggressively, barely giving me time to catch my breath. I call out with each painful movement. He leverages himself up on his arms thrusting violently into me over and over. All I can do is lie here while he uses my body for his own pleasure. Tears wet my eyes. This is _so_ not like him. Within a minute, I feel him swell within me and after pounding a couple more times, he releases himself fully. After two more violent thrusts he collapse on top of me depleted, panting heavily in my ear. I push on his chest but he doesn't budge.

"Peter, you have to get off of me," I say. "You're hurting the baby." He groans and rolls off of me. I roll up on my side, the tears now falling from my eyes and unbearable emotion running through me. That was … _horrible_. How can reality be battling my memories so drastically. It's almost like I just had sex with a total stranger. The Peter I know is a generous, affectionate, sensual, gifted lover who always places _my_ needs over his own. The person I just had sex with … and that's what that was – sex not making love ... is selfish, cold, repulsive, and inexperienced. Another thing, he physically doesn't match my memory. My Peter is _very_ well-endowed, and this one must only be six inches at the most and not very big around. Something is terribly wrong with this situation. What have I gotten myself into? Peter rolls up behind me, molds himself to my body, and wraps his arms around me.

"That was awesome," he says in my ear. Who _is_ this man? No one in their right mind could think that was anywhere near good.

"Yeah," I say, not meaning it one bit. I'm surprised it doesn't come out in my voice. I'm a better actress than I thought.

"I want you again. _Now_." He moves his hands and aggressively cup my sore, aching breasts.

"I'm exhausted and don't feel well, Peter. Maybe we can we do it again in the morning. Today, was a really long day." He moves his hands and sighs dramatically.

"Fine," he says kissing the back of my neck. I close my eyes and try not to think that I made the biggest mistake of my life today. This person lying beside me is _not_ the man that I love. I finally fall asleep after reliving every moment of today ... every doubt, every misgiving, every misconception.

I dream that I'm being tossed around in a huge ocean, drifting aimlessly, and when I wake up I have to fight my way out from under Peter's arms. I run to the bathroom just in time to get violently ill. I'm practically lying on the cold, marble tile floor, my head hanging in the toilet bowl with sweat pouring off of me when Peter finally comes into the room to check on me.

"Tris, what the hell?" he says. _Tris?_ No one's called me that since I was a child. I don't remember telling him about Caleb's old nickname for me but maybe I did.

"I think I need to go to the hospital," I finally say after getting violently sick yet again. My stomach is churning, the room is rotating, and my head is pounding brutally.

"Why don't you just lie down?" he says. "I'm sure you'll feel better soon." I look up at him the best I can. The room is spinning rapidly. He doesn't look like he even cares. Who is he? How in the world could I have pledged my life and my love to this man? He's a stranger. A stranger I'm now tied to for life. Tears start flooding down my face and he groans. "Okay, _fine_. I'll take you to the hospital." I stay leaned over the toilet while Peter calls his parents and asks them to borrow their car. They promise to bring it straight away when they hear I'm sick while he helps me get ready to go. I manage to put on the white silky nightgown and robe set from behind the door in between nausea spells. He throws on some old pants, a white t-shirt, and a pair of loafers then he helps me down to the curb of our building. His parents usher me into the backseat of their sedan, and before I'm settled in, his father takes off like a racecar driver, pushing me back into the seat and producing a groan from me.

I practice taking long, slow, level breaths trying not to give into the ill feelings. Within minutes, Porter pulls up in front of the hospital. Ruth jumps out almost before the car stops and rushes into the emergency room. She comes running back out followed by a concerned-looking nurse with a wheelchair. Peter and his father help me out of the car and into the wheelchair, and the nurse pushes me straight into the examination room after telling everyone that they need to stay in the waiting area. I tell the rush of doctors and nurses how I've been feeling and actually get sick twice in front of them. Normally this would embarrass the hell out of me but right now I could care less. I feel like I'm dying. They put an IV in my arm while asking me all sorts of personal questions. Once the needle is in my arm, they hook up intravenous fluids to help with the suspected dehydration but it doesn't make me feel better. When they put the fetal monitor on my expanded abdomen and I hear Peanut's heartbeat, I calm down a little. I still feel like death warmed over but at least my baby is okay.

"I'm going to have you sent up to the obstetrics ward," the kind-eyed emergency room physician says after I've been here for a good four hours. They have fought hard to stabilize me, and I haven't vomited in the past hour. I wish I could say that I am feeling better but I don't. "They are better equipped for women in your condition. I'm confident there is nothing wrong with the baby but I would rather be safe than sorry. I have one final question for you Mrs. Hayes. Where are you having your prenatal care done? We can't find your records anywhere."

"At the clinic across the street," I say feeling extremely weak. "I thought I already told you that."

"You did but they have no record of treating a Beatrice Hayes," he says.

"Oh, that's my fault," I say. "I just got married earlier today." I look at the clock on the wall. "Actually it was yesterday now. My last name was Prior." He looks confused then nods his head at me.

"Okay," he says. "I'll call the clinic and have your records pulled. A couple nurses will be in in a couple of minutes to transfer you up to your room."

"Thank you doctor," I say. I'm dozing when two nurses come into the room and push me, bed and all the back way to the obstetrics floor. They take me into the prearranged room, hook me up to the monitors then leave me to rest. I'm sleeping when I hear the door open. I wake with a start fully expecting to see Peter but instead a pretty, short, red-haired, green-eyed nurse comes into the room and stops in her tracks.

"Tris?" she asks sounding relieved. How does _she_ know that name?

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" I ask. She stares back at me stunned.

"I-I must have the wrong room," she stutters then quickly turns and walks away. I shake my head. Amazing! The whole city has gone crazy today. Am I the only sane one left? Or am _I_ the crazy one? I try to fall back to sleep but I think I'm too keyed up so I try to relax but that doesn't do any use either. I'm sick, I married the wrong man, and people are calling me a name I haven't heard in years. I sigh loudly.

"What's wrong?" Peter says from the doorway. I decide to go with the truth.

"Everything seems... _off_ , Peter," I say avoiding his eyes. I remembered the dream I had earlier and the hateful expression on his face. I don't ever want to see it again. "I don't want to make you mad but you don't seem like the person I fell in love with. What's going on?"

"It's just been a long, rough day," he says coming to my bedside and picking up my hand. "I love you more than anything in this world." Once again, there is no hesitation in his voice so I glance his way. There is no doubt in his eyes that he means what he's saying and when I see _this_ Peter is when I feel the most confused.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I haven't been feeling right since I woke up yesterday morning. My head hurts like hell, and I'm so confused. We probably should have postponed the wedding, and I should have stayed in bed all day. Maybe then I wouldn't be in the hospital right now. Are your parent's in the waiting room?" I almost forgot about Porter and Ruth.

"I sent them home," he says as he runs his fingers through my hair. I have to make myself not shrink away from the simple touch. "You need rest not visitors. I think I'll go home, too."

"No," I say. "Please stay with me." I hear him sigh loudly making my heart hurt but he pulls the chair that is in the corner by the window up to the head of my bed then sits down, picks up my hand again, and holds it until I fall asleep.

I don't know how long I've been resting when a loud commotion in the hallway wakes me up. Peter jumps up out of the uncomfortable-looking chair with a genuinely frightened look on his face and starts pacing back in forth in front of my bed.

"What's going on?" I sleepily ask. "What are you scared of?" I don't think I've ever seen this look on his face ever. He's _terrified_. At that moment, the door to my room bursts open and five very scary, obviously Dauntless men come into my room. Two of the men, one with bright purple hair and the other with dark blonde and a life-like snake tattoo coiled around his neck, grab Peter and throw him up against the wall. The other three freeze when they see me lying in the bed looking like what can only be described as death warmed over.

"What are you doing?" I scream. "Get your hands off my husband."

" _Husband_?" the tall, good-looking, dark haired, somewhat familiar looking one says, shaking his head disbelievingly. "Tris, love, he isn't your husband. _I_ am your husband."


	58. Chapter 58

The room starts slowly spinning but I don't think it's from the nausea I'm still feeling, not this time. What is this familiar-looking stranger saying to me? He can't possibly be my husband. I just got married yesterday and for as much confusion and uncertainty as I have felt the past 24 hours or so that much I am 100% certain about. But how in the world does he know the name Tris? I decide to stand by what I'm sure of, my marriage to Peter … no matter how much of a mistake it is.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask. "I just got married yesterday ... to him." I point at Peter. "I don't _know_ you." I can't describe the look that crosses this handsome stranger's face. He looks furious, heartbroken, anxious, and stunned all at the same time. I swear I see Peter smile his way, and it's not a friendly one either. It could only be described as evil. I am _so_ confused right now. I close my eyes and rub my throbbing head then look back at the intruders. I know that I've never seen this man before yet he seems so familiar to me and seeing him in pain actually makes my heart constrict painfully. I would like nothing more than to go to him, wrap my arms around him, and comfort him but I shake the thought off. I don't _know_ him.

"May I show you something?" he softly asks.

"Beatrice, stay away from him," Peter spitefully spits, struggling futilely against the two massive men who are holding him tightly against the wall.

"You, _SHUT THE HELL UP_ ," he rages at Peter, making me jump. " _You_ will be dealt with later." The stranger turns back toward me and takes a tentative step toward me with his arm outstretched, a look of calm on his face. You wouldn't even know he had an outburst a second ago. There's something in his hand, and it looks like several photographs. When he gets close enough, I take them from him with a shaky hand and am astonished by what I see. There is a picture of me smiling like I'm the happiest woman in the world under a white arbor covered with vining greenery and red and white roses in a beautiful floor-length traditional-style wedding gown like I've always dreamed about wearing standing next to the increasingly familiar stranger. The next two pictures are of children who also look very familiar to me. The last is my ultrasound of Peanut. How in the world did _he_ get this? _What_ is going on?

"The first picture was taken April 6 ... 4-6," he says, a hopeful expression on his face. I have to admit that the date does sounds familiar, and I glance at the infinity symbol tattoo on the inside of my left wrist that has those numbers and see a duplicate one on the man's arm in the exact same place. "That is the day we got married at the Navy Pier in front of our family and friends."

"Ferris wheel," I say, barely above a whisper as an image flashes in my mind but he must have heard me because he smiles warmly, love radiating out of his eyes.

"Yeah! One of the first times I realized I was in love with you was when we climbed the Ferris wheel during capture the flag last summer," he says. Did I know him at Dauntless? Is _that_ why he looks so familiar? "I had it refurbished as a wedding gift for you. We took a ride the night of our wedding and a couple more since then." The look in his eyes makes me blush but I'm not entirely sure why.

"Who are these kids?" I tentatively ask. The snapshot of the smiling little boy tugs at my heart something fierce. The baby can only be described as gorgeous. I notice how much they look like him, except, unbelievably, the boy has my eyes. I shake that thought off. There is _no way_ they are mine.

"Those are our kids," he slowly says. I stare at the pictures silently for a long minute not believing what he is telling me. I don't remember ever having any children let alone _two_. I'm only 17.

"You're lying," I say never taking my eyes off the photographs. "I've never had any children, not yet. I'm too young to be their mother."

"Tyler and Tessa are adopted. My mom, Evelyn, is there biological mother. That's why they look like me. I can tell you noticed," he says forcing a smile. Tyler and Tessa … so familiar. "Tyler is really missing his mommy. He cries for you all the time and asks when you're coming home. I tried to shield him from the pain but he's a smart boy and he knows something isn't right. I sat up with him all night last night. It's breaking my heart, Tris. He wants his mommy so much. I know if you were to hear him calling out for you, it would break your heart, too. And Tessa cries all the time, which is so out of character for her. You know she has always been a very happy, content baby who rarely cries. She misses you like crazy just like I do. I've been looking _everywhere_ for you, love. That last picture is of Peanut." I gasp.

"How do you know about Peanut?" I ask just barely above a whisper, astonished. He gives me a strange look. One look at me and it's obvious that I'm expecting a baby but the thing is, I've never called my baby Peanut in front of _anyone_ ever before.

"When Isobel did the ultrasound, we both noticed that the baby looked like a peanut," he says with a very real, warm smile. I frown at him because I remember the exact same thing but I was with Peter at the time, although he never said anything about the baby. I'm not sure he's _happy_ that I'm pregnant. "We nicknamed him or her Peanut right then."

"I remember that visit but … I was with Peter," I say shaking my throbbing head. "I remember _him._ I don't know who you are or who these children are." I hand the pictures back to him. "I'm sorry. You must have me confused with someone else. I'm not your wife." Peter starts laughing, and I hear a deep growl come from this handsome stranger's chest.

"I'm not the one who is confused here, Beatrice Grace Eaton," he says with a sigh. _Beatrice Grace Eaton?_ "Maybe seeing the kids will jog your memory. They're with your mom and dad right now at our place." I let out a hateful laugh.

"Now I _know_ your lying," I say, calm and reason starting to return to me. "My parents and brother died in a car accident almost a year ago." Astonishment flashes on his face before anger sets in. He drags his eyes away from mine and glares at Peter. There is contempt and loathing in his eyes. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that look.

"No … they did not," he says exasperatedly. "This I can prove to you without a doubt. I'm going to call Andrew and Natalie right now and have them bring Tyler and Tessa here immediately. I'll also call Caleb and have him come over." He makes two quick phone calls then hangs up. He is staring at me with a very intense look on his face that is familiar and foreign all at the same time.

"I still don't believe you," I say. Peter's laugh turns malicious. The man in front of me sighs loudly and closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again there is such adoration radiating from them that it nearly takes my breath away.

"Beatrice Grace Eaton, you are the love of my life and the mother of my children," he says with tears in his eyes and anguish in his voice. "You can't leave me and stay with him. He _kidnapped_ you. He apparently gave you memory serum. It's the only thing that makes any sense right now." Memory serum? I've never heard of it. "You have to know deep down inside of you that being with him isn't right. It _has_ to feel wrong. I know you too well. I can see the doubt you have about him in your eyes." _I hope you enjoy my revenge, because I'm going to,_ floats through my memory.Who in the world said those words to me?The stranger slowly walks toward me and sits on the edge of the bed. I feel like I should be scared but I'm only nervous, and I start to tremble. "Who am I, Tris?" I look into his soulful dark blue eyes and can feel the impossible connection I share with this stranger but I'm still not sure who he is. I narrow my eyes at him. He leans his head toward me until his lips are mere inches from mine. I feel his labored breaths across my face as he stares into my eyes. "If I have to let you go, I want a kiss goodbye at the very least. It will have to do me for eternity because these lips will never touch another's after they touch yours." He slowly moves his mouth to mine, keeping his eyes on mine the entire time. My heart is racing like a runaway freight train with anticipation, and when his lips touch mine, something miraculous happens. It's like a switch flips. _No one kisses me like Tobias does. No one touches me with such love._ But who _is_ Tobias? Is _this_ Tobias? When he backs away from me, I feel even more confused than I did before. _That_ was a kiss between familiar lovers and not someone randomly playing some kind of sick joke. Is he who he claims to be? Is _this_ my husband?

"Tobias," I whisper. I hear Peter gasp. This name sounds _so_ right as it rolls off my tongue. His eyes light up, and he moves to put his arms around me but I stop him with a light touch to his hard chest. "Is your name Tobias?" The light shining in his eyes dims slightly, and he nods his head and gives me a warm smile. I move my eyes to meet Peter's. They are cold and calculating. "Peter, who is Tobias? Why does he know some of my memories?" I stare at the man who I think I love, who I just married, and who I had sex with last night. Tears spring to my eyes. " _Answer me!_ Who _is he_? Why is he saying he's my _husband_?" All fight leaves him, and he hangs his head. When he looks back at me it's like I'm seeing a totally different person, no ... a monster. He gives me a cruel grin. Even though I'm clear across the room from him, I recoil from the evil look.

"I don't know how this is possible. You shouldn't remember him. Of course, a lot didn't go as planned. You weren't the meek subordinate I was promised. You questioned me at every turn. I could see it in your eyes," he says spitefully then his expression changes. He looks extremely satisfied. "Yeah, he's your husband but that didn't stop you from taking _me_ to bed last night." I hear Tobias draw a sharp breath into his lungs. Tears moisten my eyes. Peter laughs again. I suddenly feel like ripping his lungs out.

"That isn't fair," I say, anguish in my voice. "We got _married_ yesterday. I did what anyone would expect me to do, I made love to my _husband_ last night. What have you done to me? You made me into a _bigamist … and_ a cheat?" I push Tobias away from me and get out of bed. I angrily rip the IV out of my hand, not registering the pain. Blood drips down my hand as I walk across the room and stand in front of Peter, my lungs heaving painfully in my chest. I don't even care about the revealing hospital gown I'm wearing. "Why? Why did you do this to me?" He doesn't say anything. I pull back and hit him square in the mouth with my closed fist, causing his lip to break open and my knuckles to throb sorely. "Coward!" Then I move as far away from him as I can, tears running down my face. I can feel myself starting to hyperventilate and my world tilts. When I bump into the wall, I slide down until I'm sitting on the cold tile floor. Someone rushes to my side and kneels down in front of me.

"Breathe, love," Tobias says sounding like he's in agony right now. "In through the nose and slowly out through the mouth, just like I showed you." This makes me wail even louder. I have that memory but it, too, is with Peter and not this familiar stranger – my husband. Peter somehow hijacked my memories. How did he do that?

"How can you be wanting to help me?" I ask between body racking sobs staring into his grief-stricken eyes. "I don't know you but I'm apparently married to you and l cheated on you last night. You must hate me."

"Not at all, Tris. I've said this to you before but I'll say it again ... I could _never_ hate you. That's an absolute impossibility," he says with strong emotion in his voice. "I love you more than anything or anyone in this world. He gave you a drug and made you think you are someone you're not. He took advantage of the situation, of you … he _raped_ you last night just like he tried to do months ago in the training room at Dauntless. He finally got what he wanted." Was that why it was so horrible?

"Dauntless? Am I really Dauntless? I'm so confused," I say, rubbing my pounding head. I look around the room at the faces all looking down at me with varying degrees of pity in their eyes. "Wait? He tried to _rape_ me? Why can't I remember that?" I put my face in my hands wishing I could wake up from this ghastly nightmare and start to hyperventilate again. This time, Tobias pulls me into the protective circle of his arms, and I instantly calm down. I feel like I'm home when I'm wrapped in his embrace. There is no other way to describe it. I close my eyes and concentrate but the only things that come to me are contradictions. Tobias is unknown and familiar at the same time as is Peter. My head continues throbbing painfully and I breathe through a particularly nasty wave of nausea. I look into his eyes through my tear-stained lashes and whisper to him, "Tell me about the first time we made love. Maybe that will help me remember." A smile crosses his face.

"We went to the Dauntless Christmas Party, and we left early. I honestly thought ...," he quietly says but I cut him off.

"... that we would make love when we got home … but I fell asleep before anything could happen," I quietly say making sure no one else can hear us. He nods his head at me. "I woke up hours later and found you were awake also. I reached out for you, and we made love for the first time. That's how it happened wasn't it?"

"Yes," he says a smile on his face, new tears streaming down his face. "You remember."

"Yes … and no," I say getting incredibly angry now. "I remember it like it happened yesterday but when I close my eyes ... it's Peter and not you. Somehow that sick bastard hijacked _our_ memories. He _replaced_ you. How did he _do_ that?" Tobias lets me go, gets up, and moves across the room toward Peter who cowers in fear.

"Four," cautions the man with the blonde ponytail. _Four?_

"Four and Six," I whisper to myself.

"How could you _do_ this to her?" he roars. "You claim to love her but you _hurt_ her at every turn. How did you take her memories of _us_ and replace me? How did you do _that_?"

"Ask your _father_ ," Peter snaps. He recoils from Peter and balls his hands into white knuckled fists. A memory plays at the edge of my mind. _I hope you enjoy my revenge because I'm going to._

"Marcus," I whisper, remembering my hateful father-in-law. Memories begin to play in my mind like a long forgotten movie. "He gave me memory serum. I remember."

"My _father_ gave you memory serum to _erase_ me?" he says. I watch all the color drain from his face.

"Not just erase you, Tobias, but _replace_ you. He also taunted me about forgetting Tyler and Tessa," I quietly say. "It was the revenge he told me he would seek one day. Somehow he and Peter set this up. I know who I am now. I know who you are but I'm still _so_ confused."

"Someone get on the phone and have that bastard arrested. If I go anywhere near him, I'll kill him," Tobias shouts. The younger, shorter of the two men who I know I should know gets on his phone. Tobias then walks over and stands in front of Peter. He gets in his face looking like a cobra poised to strike its prey and says, "It's probably a good thing that there are witnesses here right now, Peter Hayes, or I would kill you. No one would care that you are dead, and no one would ever convict me. You kidnapped my wife and raped her. You are a pathetic piece of shit. And know this, when the city executes you, and they will, _I'm_ going to be the one who happily administers the death seem. I will stand over you with a content smile on my face while I watch the life drain from your eyes. Once that happens, I'll never think of your sorry ass again."

"You promised never to hurt him," falls out of my mouth before I can stop it, and the others in the room look at me like I lost my mind. I'm sure it sounds like I'm being protective of Peter but I'm not. I need to keep Tobias safe.

"She made me promise not to kill him," he says, knowing me so well. "She's afraid of me being taken away from her. But she never said anything about this." He moves so fast that I don't think Peter sees it coming. Tobias gives him a hard jab to the nose followed by what should be a knockout upper cut to the right jaw. He punches him several times in the gut like he's working out on the bags in the training room then gives him a swift knee to the groin that should have Peter singing soprano for at least the next month.

"I want him taken out of here," I say unable to stomach the sight of him for one more minute. "I can't look at him anymore."

"Beatrice, wait," Peter wails.

" _NOW!_ " I yell unable to take anymore.

"Will, Harrison, please escort Simon, Tony, and the prisoner back to Dauntless. Make sure he doesn't escape from custody this time," he says. Will? I know him.

"Will, how's Christina?" I ask, memories continuing to trickle back to me. I'm not quite sure what unlocked my mind but something did. He smiles brightly at me.

"She's beside herself with worry, Tris," he says. "I'm not exactly sure how she didn't go into labor when we found out you had been kidnapped." That's right, she's pregnant. "She's going to be glad to hear we found you and that you are safe."

"Tell her I love her," I say.

"I will," he says. Peter is dragged out the door by Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo followed by Harrison and Will. Tobias keeps his back to me as I get into bed, totally drained from this nightmare. I see the edge of a tattoo sticking out of the collar of his formfitting t-shirt, and I remember the faction tattoo. I'm retracing every inch of it with my mind when he turns around.

"We need to talk," I softly say. "I feel so confused when I look at you. It's like I know you and don't all at the same time."

"You just need some time," he says coming to sit on the bed. "We'll get through this. You and me, always. Tell me what you remember from the past 48 hours." I hang my head.

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" I quietly ask. He scoots closer to me and picks up my hand that's covered with dried blood.

"We don't keep secrets from each other, remember?" he asks. Somewhere in the back of my mind a fight plays and then I hear a promise made. As much as I want to tell him what that bastard did to me, I can't make myself speak. "You're afraid. I can see it on your face. I hope you're not scared of me, Tris. I would never hurt you ... not intentionally."

"I'm just scared of your reaction. I know you would never hurt me, Tobias," I quietly say, still unable to meet his eyes. I proceed to give him the details of my ordeal with Peter including getting married and having sex while I lightly rub the abrasions on his knuckles. By the time I'm finished I can barely see through the tears that have accumulated in my eyes. "I am _so_ sorry, Tobias. I didn't know I was doing something wrong until he was finished. That is the moment I knew something truly wasn't right. I knew he wasn't the one in my memory. I felt so used. He took what he wanted from me. He ruined me." My bottom lip starts quivering, and the tears spill out and stream down my face. "He _hurt_ me." He drags a ragged breath in and pulls me to him, holding me tight. He cries with me, caressing my hair as I sob. "Oh, my _God_. I _let_ him. I was having doubts, and I still _let_ him."

"Tris, _please_ don't cry," he says, anguish in his voice. "You didn't do anything wrong. He raped you. This is _not_ your fault. I'll see to it that he pays." A knock on the door interrupts us. My Dad pokes his head in the room, and I really start sobbing. They're really alive. "Can you give us another minute?" He nods then backs out of the room, leaving us alone. Within a few minutes I pull myself together.

"I think your kiss made me remember," I say, running my fingertips down his face to cup his cheek, which he leans into. "You saved me."

"You once told me you would walk through fire for me. I feel like I've done that to get you to come back to me," he says placing his lips to my forehead. "Do you want me to get the kids?" Something comes back to me and I start raging.

"Your son of a bitch _father_ gave me something besides memory serum, Tobias," I say. "I can't feed Tessa anymore. They dried up my milk." He closes his eyes and inhales deeply. "I know I keep saying I'm sorry but it's the truth. I am _so_ sorry. This entire situation is all my fault. I antagonized your father, and he got his revenge like he always said he would. They both got what they wanted."

"I don't want to hear you speak this way ever again," he says surprising me with his anger. "You did _not_ do anything wrong."

"Then why are you yelling at me?" l ask, cowering in fear from the man I love for the first time since I met him.

"God! I'm sorry," he say grabbing a hold of me again. He holds me while we both cry again, trying to wash the agony away. I swear I shouldn't have any tears left. "This entire situation is very ... disconcerting for me. I can't imagine how you truly feel. I don't know how to process how I'm feeling. Acting like I don't _have_ any feelings make me feel better right now."

"I understand but promise me something, Tobias Eaton," I say.

"Anything," he says. I release myself from his grip and look into his eyes.

"We can't let this come between us," l say. "We have too much to lose."

"Never," he says. He slowly lowers his mouth to mine. His lips lightly touch mine in a soft, gentle kiss. He runs his tongue across my bottom lip after a moment, and I open my mouth for him. He slides his tongue in finding mine. We let them tangle unrestrictedly then I close my lips around it, sucking on it gently. I wrap my arms around his neck as I pull him closer to me. He groans deeply into my now open mouth. His arms tighten around me, and l melt into him. "God, l love you."

"I love you, too," I breathlessly say when he moves his mouth to my neck. I lean back and look at him. "I missed you.

"I missed you, too," he says. "I don't know how to describe how I felt the past couple of days."

"I want to see the kids," I say. "I've missed them, too."

"Of course you did," he says. "I'll go get them." He wipes the stray tears away from my eyes, gives me another quick, tender kiss then gets up from the bed and leaves the room. Within a minute the door opens and Tyler runs in. He stops when he sees me and tears gather in his wide eyes. They seem to be a mixture of happy, sad, and exhausted tears.

"Oh baby, don't cry. Mommy's fine. I swear," I say, tears in my own eyes. He runs to me and climbs up the side of my bed and into my arms. I hold on to him tightly and rock him back and forth, thankful that I get to hold my son again. When I open my eyes Mom, Dad, and Caleb are standing next to Tobias who is holding Tessa. I can't hold the tears back, and l start sobbing again. Everyone freezes in place for an instant then they surround my bed. "I thought you were dead. They made me think you had died in an accident. I could _feel_ that I had grieved for you. Part of me didn't believe it but I could _feel_ that you died."

"Maybe we shouldn't be here right now," my mom says sounding very worried for me. "Maybe it's too soon."

"I agree," Dad says. Caleb just stares at me open mouthed obviously not knowing what to say.

"I think that maybe you should leave. I'm sorry," Tobias says. "I guess l shouldn't have called you all down here."

"Please don't go," I say, pain rocketing from my broken heart outward at the thought of them leaving. I think a minute part of me thinks I'll wake up and find that they really are dead. "I don't want _any_ of you to go. I need my family around me right now. _Please_." Tobias nods at everyone signaling that it's okay that they stay. Mom, Dad, and Caleb pull up chairs around my bed and sit down. Tobias joins me on the bed. Tyler falls asleep lying across my lap after refusing to move while Tessa naps against my shoulder. I'm content in this moment with my family all around me. I'll think about the trauma I've endured tomorrow.


	59. Chapter 59

The past few days have been extremely difficult for me. I didn't know that readjusting to my life with Tobias, Tyler, and Tessa would be this hard. Sometimes it feels like I was gone for weeks, months, or even years instead of just hours. I know it's the memory serum that makes it seem that way. I still have flashes that I know should be of me and Tobias but are of Peter, which sets off either a long crying spell or a raging temper tantrum depending on my frame of mind at the time. I can't believe that Peter and Marcus did this to me ... to us.

After much begging and pleading on my part Wednesday, the hospital finally discharged me early with the stipulation that I had to immediately check myself into the Dauntless infirmary where Peanut and I could be monitored overnight. After explaining everything that had happened to me, Zander looked over the tests the hospital ran and performed some additional ones of his own. After analyzing the results he told me he feels my body physically reacted to the memory serum and expelled it, and that was the reason why I was so sick. It didn't have anything to do with the 48-hour flu that was going around the city like I thought but it might have something to do with my divergence. He had heard of this anomaly in a handful of people so he can't say for sure it happened because I'm Divergent. I'm just thankful it did. I can't imagine what else would have transpired if I had not remembered.

Zander helped me when I told him that Marcus gave me a shot of something that dried up my breast milk and that I could no longer feed Tessa, which I think is one of the worst things Marcus and Peter put me through. Those bastards took away my ability to nurse my five-and-a-half-week-old baby and her main source of nutrition. If either one of them were standing in front of me right now, I would kill them with my bare hands. Zander contacted Isobel who directly came to the infirmary and gave me everything I needed to reestablish my lactation just like I did when Tessa was first born. She gave me the two-week supply of medication and told me to massage my breasts and latch her onto my nipples at regular intervals. After only two short days of this routine, the milk started to flow again. I decided to take a sample to Zander before I let Tessa ingest any though. I would never have been comfortable giving it to her until I had it checked out. I didn't want to poison my little one. He tested it, and there was no trace of memory serum or other poison in it. He also did additional research into the memory serum, and he is confident that it had no damaging effects on Peanut.

When Isobel visited me in the infirmary, I kept thanking her for contacting Tobias when she found me in the hospital Wednesday morning and letting him know where I was. I also told her I was glad that she was the nurse on call that day. Even though I've been in that hospital before, I might have gotten nurses who didn't know me and I'd still be with Peter. I shudder at the thought. She brushed off the compliments and thank you's. She actually looked embarrassed. She then asked if I really didn't know her when she walked into my room, and I had to confess that although she did look slightly familiar to me, that I had no idea who she was when she called me Tris and that I was confused being called by that name.

Tobias has been quiet and distant since I got home. He says he doesn't blame me for what happened but his actions speak volumes. He won't touch me. He barely looks my way. I've tried to get him to open up about how he is feeling but he tells me that nothing's wrong. I've noticed that he spends a lot of time in the training room trying to work through whatever it is that's bothering him I imagine. He spent Wednesday night at my bedside in the infirmary holding my bruised hand from where I ripped the IV out but when the next morning came his demeanor had changed and I don't know the cause, and it unfortunately hasn't changed back either. He spends most of his time out of the house, and this hurts me more than being kidnapped did.

Peter is in Dauntless custody and has a guard posted outside his cell 24 hours a day to make sure that he doesn't escape again. Marcus was apprehended at his home the evening Will called Dauntless guards to arrest him and taken to Candor where he is being held in Abnegation's holding room. After talking about some of the minor details of my ordeal with Tobias, Porter and Ruth Hayes were also arrested as accessories and taken to the Merciless Mart to be held until their interrogations can be held. Knowing what I do now, they had to have knowledge that I wasn't Candor because Peter wasn't anymore. I'm looking forward to _their_ explanations the most. Peter won't say who his friend Nicki is or where she lives so she has not been detained but I gave Tori a detailed description, and she made a drawing of her, which has been distributed throughout Candor and Dauntless just to be safe. I have to go to Candor Monday afternoon where I'll be interrogated by Jack and Niles, although because of Peanut I can't be placed under truth serum, in preparation for everyone else's interrogations on Tuesday morning.

Tyler has been extremely clingy the past four days, which is totally understandable. He was just as traumatized as I was. He wants to be with me all the time and won't let me out of his sight without a huge fight. Just minutes ago I promised him that I wasn't going anywhere and that he needed to go to bed like a good little boy. Instead he threw a major fit unlike I've ever seen. I finally had to put Tessa down who was in the middle of nursing, pick him up, and carry him to his room and put I'm in bed. He screamed and cried for about 10 minutes straight before he quieted down. I stood outside his door with tears streaming down my face the entire time, my heart breaking all over again for what he was going through. I looked in on him and, thankfully, he was fast asleep. I tucked him in, kissed his head, and made sure that his train nightlight was turned on. I hate that I had to do that but with Tobias being out … again, I didn't know what else to do.

"Sorry about that interruption, little one," I say to Tessa as I try to get her to calm down. "Now you're mad at Mommy." I carry her around the living room while she wails at the top of her lungs. I remember the first time I heard her cry. It was a pitiful little sound. Not anymore. My little girl could wake the dead when she's pissed and that is exactly what she is right now. I give up on trying to calm her and sit us down, grab the nursing pillow from beside the chair, lower my tank top, and put her to my breast. She cries some more until she realizes that I'm trying to give her what it is she wants then she takes big gasping breaths and tries to latch on to my nipple. "Hey, slow down. You'll choke yourself if you keep up at this pace." I caress her little cheek as she finds a slower rhythm of suckling. I lean my head back and try to relax but I know I won't calm until my husband comes home. When she finishes, I fix my shirt and put her up to my shoulder to burp. I'm so thankful that this is back to normal at least. The little tantrum she threw just now is rare. She is still a content, happy, smiling baby. I hold her up in front of me, and she smiles and coos at me. "You are one of the best things in my life, Tessa Beatrice. Do you know how much Mommy loves you?" She smiles brightly at me and sticks her tongue out at me. "You really shouldn't want to be playing right now. You should want to sleep. Are you going to give me a hard time, too?" She coos some more at me, and I can't help but smile. I finally put her against my shoulder and softly rub her back. Within a couple minutes she lays her little head down. I leave her be for a while as I think about how to get Tobias to open up to me. I finally decide to take her upstairs so we can both go to bed when the door opens and Tobias comes stumbling through. Immediately I'm hurt and upset. He promised never to drink again. I carry Tessa upstairs fighting the agony that is pounding in my chest and rage that is coursing through my veins and put her in her bed then double check on Tyler who is still asleep. I slowly descend the stairs and find Tobias sitting in the middle of the couch rubbing his fingers through his hair.

"How could you?" I ask, trying to keep my volume down. I don't need to wake the kids. It took me forever to get them to sleep. He looks up at me like he almost doesn't know who I am or where he is.

"Tris?" he slurs. "I don't feel well."

"I bet you don't," I spit. I look into his face and realize a couple things. First, he doesn't smell like alcohol. Second, his eyes are perfectly normal. They're not puffy, bloodshot, or dilated like they were the last time he came home drunk. He just looks ... dazed. How could that be? Then a lightbulb goes off. He's been drugged. I leave him sitting on the couch and run across the hallway. I pound on Will and Christina's door hollering for them to wake up. Before they can open it, Harrison, Tori, and Frankie all step out into the hallway from their respective apartments.

"I think Four has been drugged by that woman," I say when they look at me like I've quite possibly lost my mind.

"Baby, go back to bed," Tori says before giving Frankie a kiss. "We might be a while." He gives her a sleepy smile and turns and goes back into their apartment. Tori and Harrison rush after me followed closely by Will and Christina who opened their door during my explanation. "I think we need to get him to the infirmary for some tests. Do any of you know where he's been tonight?"

"He was going into his office when I came home at 6 p.m.," Harrison says.

"I'm afraid I haven't seen him all day," Tori says. "He's pretty much been locked up in his office since you came home."

"I'll stay with the kids," Christina says sitting in her favorite chair and putting her swollen ankles up on the ottoman. "You guys go take care of business."

"I just put Tessa in bed. She finished eating maybe 45 minutes ago. Tyler's been asleep an hour. He's been … difficult tonight. I hope he sleeps through this," I say. "Thank you." Will and Harrison get Tobias up off the couch and help him out the door. Tori and I follow closely behind them. I check the time on my phone and decide to call Zeke anyway.

"Hello?" he asks sounding irritated at being called so late.

"It's Tris. I'm sorry for calling so late," I anxiously say. "I think Four has been targeted by that woman." We all know what that means so I don't have to elaborate. "Can you go to the control room and look through the tapes and see where he was."

"You don't know where he was tonight?" Zeke asks.

"He's been … distant since l came home," I quietly say. "Can you please do this for me?"

"I'll leave right now, Tris. Try not to worry," he says. "I'll call you when I know something."

"Thanks, Zeke," I say then hang up. I practically have to run to keep up with everyone else the rest of the way to the infirmary. I may be nearly an inch taller than I was this time last year but I still have short legs. We make it to the infirmary a lot sooner than I thought we would with Tobias stumbling all over the place.

"What can we do for you?" Erin says in her grating nasally voice.

"Is Dr. Parrish in?" l ask.

"He is. I assume you want me to page him," she says.

"That would be nice," Tori says. "There's no need for the tone." Good! I'm not the only one who sees what kind of hateful bitch she is. She picks up her phone and enters a series of numbers. About a minute later Zander comes into the waiting room.

"Wow! It's not every day that I get all five leaders in here at once. What can I do for you?" Zander asks. I look around and see we have an audience.

"Can we go somewhere private?" I ask. He nods at me then leads us to a private room. "I think Four has been drugged by that woman." That is all Zander needs to hear, and he moves immediately. He takes two vials of blood and rushes out of the room to start running tests.

"Where were you tonight, Four?" Will asks. "Can you try to concentrate? I know how hard it must be to focus." I sigh and go to Tobias. I sit on the gurney next to him and hold his hand. He slowly turns his head and looks at me. There now is a very glassy, faraway look in his eyes. All the anger I was feeling mere moments ago melts away and is replaced by worry. Why would this woman knowingly target the leader of Dauntless? Does she have a death wish or what?

"I've got one result. He has not been drinking. His blood alcohol is 0.00%. You can't get any soberer than that," Zander says, coming back into the room looking at some test results. I feel really bad for automatically assuming he broke his promise to me. "I'm going to do a physical exam to see if I can figure out how the drug was administered. If you would all step out into the waiting room, I'll come get you when I'm finished." I give him a look and he says, "You too, Tris." I kiss Tobias' forehead and walk out of the room followed by my fellow leaders. When l step into the waiting room I see Zeke asking Erin for me. I go directly to his side.

"What did you find out?" I ask. He takes me by the arm and leads me into the hallway.

"He was in the bar for hours staring down a shot of whiskey. I didn't see anyone approach him all night. It's strange," he quietly says. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not sure," l say. "You're his best friend. Can you tell me what is going on with him? Has he come to you with how he's feeling? He won't _talk_ to me. He's slipping away, and I feel like there's nothing I can do about it." He takes a deep breath.

"He's hating himself right now," he says. "That's all I'm comfortable with sharing."

"Tell me this then, how do l get him to open up to me?" I plead. "He won't even _look_ at me, Zeke."

"I'm so sorry for everything you went through," he says. "There is something you need to think about though. He went through everything you did just from a slightly different perspective. He's hurting right now and you know what he does. He turns inward to protect himself. Don't give up on him."

"I won't. I'll fight until my last breath. Thank you, Zeke," I say. "I was thinking of myself and myself only. Thank you for making me see that."

"You're welcome, Tris," he says. We walk back into the infirmary waiting room, and I sit on one of the uncomfortable chairs in between Zeke and Will, my legs bouncing nervously up and down. Zeke lightly touches one of my knees and says, "Everything is going to be okay."

"I hope you're right," I say.

"Tris, can I see you for a moment?" Zander asks when he comes into the room a few minutes later. I get up and move to Zander's side, and he leads me back to the room Tobias is waiting in. "According to his labs, he was given an unusually high dose of the GHB derivative approximately two hours ago, higher than all the other men who have come in, except Will. His was only slightly lower than Four's. He won't have any memory of this night tomorrow. You will see some scratches on his neck and arm. He doesn't remember how he got them. He also has an injection site right behind his left ear. I imagine that is how the drug was administered since he had not been drinking, which is her usual M.O. Have him drink plenty of water and take a couple acetaminophen tonight before he goes to bed and again in the morning. He can go now."

"Were you able to get any foreign DNA off of him?" I ask hopefully.

"I did get some touch DNA off of the collar, sleeve, and hem of his t-shirt," he says. "I'll have it fast-tracked through the system to see if it matches the other evidence we have collected but I wouldn't get my hopes up. Think of how many people you come into contact in a day. "

"I understand. Thank you, Zander," I say. "Come on, Four. You can lean on me."

"Wait," Tobias says. He is getting harder to understand by the minute. The drug is really taking its toll.

"Take your time," Zander says leaving us alone.

"What is it, Tobias?" I ask when the doctor leaves us alone.

"I'm sorry," he says, slurring his words and running his hands through his hair. He looks confused. "I didn't drink. I swear to you."

"I know you didn't," I say.

"I wanted to," he says. "I stared at it all night wanting to drown my misery."

"I understand you're hurting right now because I am too," I say. "Why don't I get you home, and we will talk about this when the drugs leave your system. You won't remember this conversation anyway."

"I love you," he says. "I'm sorry I've been terrible to you. I don't mean to be. I really don't."

"I know you don't," I say. "I promise, we'll get through this. I love you, too." He leans into me and gives me a sloppy kiss but I don't mind. I've missed his attention. I help him up off the examination table, and he props himself up against my side. We walk out into the waiting room, where Will and Harrison immediately take over for me. The trip home takes even longer since the drug is dragging Tobias down. He mumbles the entire way incoherently about all sorts of things: It sounds like he is apologizing to me, he tries to describe the woman who drugged him, a couple times he simply says Nicki, and he mentions a conspiracy to kill people. I think our problems, past and present, are overlapping in his impaired mind.

When I open the door, Christina is sitting on the couch holding Tyler who looks like a wreck. Upon seeing me, he gets down off the couch and runs to me. Today is probably not the best time for him to have woken up to find me gone after the trouble I had getting him to sleep earlier. I pick him up, and he holds on to me tightly. When I meet Christina's eyes, she gives me an apologetic look, I smile and nod at her, and I mouth the words it's okay.

"You gone when I waked up," he says.

"I know," I say giving him a big hug. "Daddy needed me." We watch as Will and Harrison help Tobias toward the stairs. "Guys, can you make sure he gets a glass of water and two acetaminophen. There's a glass in the bathroom and pain medication in the medicine cabinet. I appreciate it."

"He otay?" Tyler asks, extreme worry on his face. I walk to the couch and sit down next to Christina. I hold him close to me and he lays his head against my shoulder.

"He's going to be just fine," I say, caressing his head. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. That must have been very scary for you." He nods against me but I can tell that he's almost back to sleep already.

"I'm so sorry I let him stay up," Christina says once she sees he is totally asleep. "He refused to go back to bed until he saw you. He kind of threw a fit when I tried to take him upstairs so I gave in."

"It's okay, Christina. Really," I say. "He's been extremely clingy since I was taken. I don't blame him. I don't want to be out of his sight for one minute either. I had a heck of a time getting him to go to bed earlier. He thinks I'll go away again. It must have been horrible for him to wake up and have me gone." Harrison comes back downstairs followed by Will who is carrying Tessa.

"This gorgeous girl was awake," he says.

She smiles at him and Christina says, "Awe, she smiled."

"That's because she loves you guys," I say. "Like Four and I do." Harrison and Tori are in front of Will playing with the baby. I'm going to have a tough time getting her to sleep later but I don't stop them. It isn't very often they visit. I need to make sure that changes. They aren't just colleagues, they're friends.

"We put Four in bed," Harrison says. "He's out like a light. What did Dr. Parrish have to say?"

"He was given the largest dose of the GHB derivative of any of the men who came into the infirmary," I say. "He also found touch DNA on his shirt. Hopefully we'll find this woman and soon. Did any of Four's mumbling on the way home make any sense to any of you?"

"He kept saying he was sorry," Will says.

"I heard him say something about a Nicki," Tori says.

"What I found interesting was he said it's related," Harrison says. "I have no idea what that means though since we don't know who this woman is."

"What if he's telling us that the Nicki I met when I was at Candor is the woman drugging the men here in Dauntless," I say, "and that somehow Peter is mixed up in this mess?"

"Why would he want to drug men and steal money?"

"I don't know and I don't think we're going to figure it out tonight but might I suggest taking the sketch of Nicki to the bar and nightclub and seeing if anyone recognizes her," I say.

"I miss you at work, Tris," Tori says. "We'll get on that tomorrow. We'll go now."

"Will, Christina, could you stay for a minute?" I say. "I have some things I need to talk to you about." Harrison and Tori say their goodbyes and take off. "I'm glad you two stayed. I have to ask, have you seen Four around the past few days? He's avoiding me. Can you tell me where he's been hiding out? I need to make things right with him. He's hurting and I need to make this right."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Will softly says. "I was there when he found you, remember? I can't tell you what that did to _me_ seeing you that way. I can't imagine how he felt, how he _feels_. You didn't _know_ him, Tris. That had to do something to him."

"I guess l thought he was angry because of the sex," I say.

"Tris, Will told me a little about what he overheard," Christina says not quite meeting my eyes. "Peter gave you memory serum and made you think _he_ was Four. Is that right?" She's a tad bit off but I nod anyway. "Then he had you get married in a ceremony with his parents present, and then he took advantage of you. You know, it may not have been forced but it was still rape. Four won't hold that against you."

"It sure seems that way," l say with a sigh. "I don't think he means to but something is wrong and I can't get him to talk to me about it."

"I think _you_ are the one who is holding it against you," Will says. "I didn't get much out of him but he never mentioned that. He mainly blames himself for letting you go to your appointment alone. Sound familiar?"

"Yes, it does," I say. "He is always so overprotective."

"He loves you," Christina says.

"I know," I say.

"Well, I think your daughter is getting hungry," Will says. He brings her to me and gently places her in my arms after I lie Tyler down beside me.

"Thank you, both of you," I say. "I don't know what l would do without you."

"You will never have to find out," she says. They both give me a hug and a kiss, tell me goodnight, and go home to get a goodnight's sleep. Tessa is on the verge of crying when I start to feed her. I think back on Will and Christina's advice and what Zeke said to me. They are all right. He has closed himself off because he is protecting himself until he can work through his feeling, and I'm having a hard time letting go of the fact that I willingly had sex with another man. I guess I need counseling sessions with Isobel again. We probably both do. I wonder if Tobias would come with me. He never offered with my earlier appointments but I never asked him either.

Tessa finishes eating, and I put her in the bassinet. I then very carefully pick up Tyler without waking him, carry him upstairs, tuck him in again, and kiss him goodnight. I check on Tobias but he's lightly snoring on my side of the bed. I have to admit he looks quite peaceful in his drug-induced state. I kiss his cheek then head downstairs. I put all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher then wipe off the island and counters. I turn off the lights then retrieve my daughter, who is still wide awake and take her upstairs. We slowly rock in her bedroom until she finally falls asleep. I gently place her in her bed then kiss her goodnight. I yawn loudly as I go into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Within minutes I'm changed into a pair of silky pajamas and I'm sliding up against Tobias in bed. It takes me a while to fall asleep since I'm on the wrong side of him but soon the relaxing tempo of his steady breathing lulls me into sleep.


	60. Chapter 60

I can feel myself waking up but I fight it hard. I'm just not ready to leave this big, warm, comfortable bed and face what the day has in store for me. Although l only fed Tessa twice during the night, I'm really tired. I snuggle into Tobias' side, and he tightens his hold on me. I finally drag my tired eyes open and look at the clock next to the bed then sigh. It's past time to get up. I'm surprised Tyler isn't up at the very least or maybe he is and he just senses that his parents need some time alone.

"Good morning," Tobias roughly says. "Do you have any idea why my head is absolutely killing me?" He moans loudly as he moves.

"What do you remember about last night?" l ask hoping he can give me an explanation for his behavior. He is quiet for a time then groans. He gently extricates himself from my limbs and sits up on the side of the bed and rubs his head. I put my hand on his lower back, and he jerks away from my gentle touch. "You were in the bar last night and were drugged. Someone injected it behind your left ear. Zander said to give you water and acetaminophen. Would you like me to get them for you?"

"No, I'll do it," he says. As he slowly gets out of bed, my heart begins to ache uncomfortably, and l flop back onto the bed feeling defeated. No, I won't leave it like this. I roll onto my feet and head into the bathroom after him.

"You need to talk to me," I say. "You promised that this wouldn't come between us. Guess what? It is and I for one am not going to just stand by and let it happen." He turns around and leans against the sink, staring at me. "Fine. I'll start the conversation since apparently you have forgotten how." I take a deep breath trying to calm the rage that is building. "How could you have gone out with the intention of drinking last night as l sat at home with the kids worried about where you were? You know how l feel about drinking." He hangs his head and doesn't say a word. " _Damn you_ , Tobias Eaton talk to me."

" _What do you want me to say_?" he shouts. He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, taking a few deep breaths of his own. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you no matter how frustrated I am right now." He takes another deep breath then continues. "Yesterday I wanted nothing more than to make this ache in my chest go away for just a little while. All I could think to do was to drown the pain, to deaden it. So I went to the bar. Unfortunately, that is the last thing I remember."

"Why didn't you come to me instead of feeling the need to drown your sorrows?" I ask, the aching pain I feel evident in my voice. "I could have helped you. I still can help if you'll let me."

" _Damn it!_ Do you think I _like_ how I'm treating you? It kills me that I'm the one hurting you now after everything he put you through. My head knows you didn't do anything wrong. He kidnapped, drugged, and raped you. Up here," he says pointing at his head, "I know that. But here," he points at his heart, "it feels like you cheated on me." His words hit me like a hammer in my heart, and I gasp loudly. I knew he was keeping something from me. "I wish I could kill that son-of-a-bitch. He's taken something from us ... he's taken our trust."

"Your trust," I mutter. A river of tears run down my cheeks, and I turn my back on him. I fully expect him to put his hands on me at any moment to comfort me, to tell me that everything's going to be alright, but he doesn't. When the tears finally dry, I turn and find he's gone. He left me here heartbroken and distraught. This isn't good. How are we supposed to move past this if he can barely look at me and he finds it that hard to talk to me?

I hear Tessa's crying, and I know it's past time for her to be fed. I go to my tiny girl's room and look down on her. She looks so much like my husband that pain rips through my heart again and tears come to my eyes. I pick her up and sit in the rocker to feed her, tears streaming down my face the entire time. If only Peter and Marcus could see us now they would be laughing. It seems like they won. I stay hidden in her room until I can face my day. I finally carry her into Tyler's room and find him lying in the middle of his bed staring at the ceiling.

"Whatcha doing there, buddy?" l ask with a chuckle. He turns his head and looks at me then smiles brightly.

"I sleepin'," he says.

"You don't look like you're asleep. Do you want to get up now?" I ask. He scrambles out of his bed and gives me and Tessa a big hug.

"Mommy, is Daddy home?" he asks, a look of worry on his face. I try to hide my agony from him. He doesn't need to know his parents are having problems but I'm not the only one who is noticing Tobias' absences.

"I don't know," I say. "Why don't we go downstairs and see." We walk down the stairs but Tobias is nowhere to be found. "Looks like Daddy had somewhere to be. How about l make us some French toast and sausage. Does that sound good?" His eyes light up and he nods his head up and down. I drag Tessa's new eggshell-colored swing that matches her bassinet over by the kitchen and put her in it. I set the timer and it gently swings her back and forth. Tyler stands in front of her just out of the way of the seat, which quite honestly would send him flying if it hit him, talking to his sister. She smiles and coos at him making him giggle almost nonstop. "You know what? You are a very good big brother, Tyler. You love her, don't you?"

"Yep," he says. "Love hew. Love baby."

"I'm glad you love your sisters," I say. He looks at me slightly confused when l say sisters, which makes me remember that I totally forgot about my prenatal appointment on Monday and learning that Peanut is a girl. I haven't even told Tobias. I put the platters on the island then pick Tyler up and put him in his booster seat. "Mommy is having a baby girl. I forgot to tell you that. I'm sorry. I've been distracted."

"It otay," he says looking a little sad. "I wanted a boy."

"I know you did, buddy, but another sister will be fun," I say kissing the top of his head. "I promise." I fix him a plate of French toast and sausage. I cut them into bite sized pieces and get him a sippy cup full of milk. We eat the delicious breakfast then I let him pick out a movie for an impromptu movie day. It's Sunday so we should be together as a family but Tobias isn't here. It's funny, I was the one who was kidnapped but he's the one who's missing. Just before the credits roll, Tyler falls asleep. I take him upstairs to nap then go back downstairs. I pick Tessa up out of her swing so I can feed her again. I sit in the club chair and hold her close to me. "You look so much like your Daddy, little one." She raises her eyes to mine but she doesn't stop nursing. "I love you very much. You and your brother are keeping me from falling to pieces right now."

The door to our apartment opens as I am finishing up feeding Tessa. I get up and put her in the bassinet so she can take her nap. I cross my arms protectively over my chest and stare out the window at the sun sparkling off the tall metal and glass buildings of the city. He comes up close behind me, and I feel electricity zing back and forth between us. When he puts his hands on my shoulders I close my eyes and lean into him momentarily before I turn and look up into his eyes. They seem so dull and lifeless. I miss the spark l usually see when he looks at me.

"I'm ready to talk now. I'm sorry it took me so long," he says. "Can we sit down?" He takes my hand and leads me a few feet into the living room. I sit down on the end of the couch, and he sits on the love seat facing me. "First, I'm sorry that it took me so long to work through how I've been feeling. Second, it was unforgivable for me to say what l did to you then just storm off, especially when I gave you an ultimatum about the same thing."

"I wasn't happy when you left me alone when I was feeling so vulnerable. Please don't do that to me ever again," I say. He moves toward me like he wants to comfort me then backs off. "If you were telling me the truth when you said what you did earlier then it isn't unforgivable. I won't lie. It hurt … a lot but I will never hold the truth against you, Tobias." He holds my stare for a moment then looks toward the floor.

"When I found out that you were missing, I completely freaked out. I knew I shouldn't have let you go to your appointment by yourself. Everyone tried to calm me down and tell me that everything was going to be okay, including Tyler. You would think my own son could comfort me in a moment as horrible as that one but l was on a mission and, until I found you, no one was exempt from my rage. Those two nights without you – not knowing where you were, how you were being treated – were the longest in my entire life." He gets up off the love seat, running his hands through his hair and starts pacing in front of me. "I looked for you everywhere I knew to look. I suspected that it was Peter who took you but it never even crossed my mind that he would have went back to Candor. Maybe if I would have thought to look there, everything he was able to do wouldn't have happened. It kills me I wasn't there to protect you when you needed me most."

"It wasn't your fault he took me, Tobias," I say. "No more than it was my fault." He is quiet for a while before he continues.

"When Isobel called and said she had found you and that you were in the hospital, I could actually breathe again but when I walked into that room and you called him your husband it was like you cut my beating heart out of my chest with a rusty tin can lid. It was agonizing. But when you remembered my name after I kissed you, l felt joy unlike anything l have before. I knew you were coming back to me. Of course, my joy didn't last long. He saw to that." He stops pacing but keeps his back to me. "When he told me you had slept with him, he wrecked my world, Tris."

"I am so sorry, Tobias," I softly say. It really is all I can say. He turns back and looks at me, moisture in his eyes.

"I know you're sorry, and you don't have to be. You shouldn't have to be. He kidnapped you with help from my own father. Talk about a dysfunctional family. They tied you to a chair and gave you memory serum – memory serum that replaced me in your mind. Then he decided to play house with you. How can I hold that against you? I can't. You thought he was your husband. You didn't know who you truly were. You didn't know about me. You were violated. All of this was done to _you_ not me," he says. He kneels before me and takes my hands in his. "I need to apologize. I am angry with Marcus and Peter for what they did to you. I am angry with myself for how I have handled the situation and for how I've been treating you. I don't know why but I've been taking out how I feel on you. I know you didn't cheat on me, Tris. I really don't know why I said what I said this morning except maybe ... I wanted you to hurt like I've been hurting. The minute I said it, it reminded me of how Marcus treated Evelyn but instead of apologizing immediately, I stormed off. _That_ is what's unforgivable. God, I'm turning into my father. I wouldn't blame you for leaving me if that's what you want to do. I am so sorry, love." I throw myself at him and wrap my arms around his neck. We hold each other tightly.

"You think I want to leave you?" I ask when I pull back and look into his eyes. "That will _never_ happen."

"There is something else l need to talk to you about," he quietly says. I can tell he's conflicted about saying what he needs to say. "I know you're still confused. You've been talking in your sleep and sometimes … you call out his name." I gasp loudly and tears form in my eyes at this news. I had no idea. I open my mouth to say something, although I have no idea what that is, and he shakes his head. "I'm not saying these things to hurt you but l can see that l am. You just need to know why I pulled away." He sits on the couch and pulls me to him, wraps his strong arms tightly around me like I've longed to feel for days, and holds me close. I hold on to him like l have never done before.

"Are we going to be okay?" I ask.

"Yes we are," he confidently says.

"Maybe we should talk to Isobel," I say turning in his arms to look at him. "I don't think we should brush how we've been feelings under the rug. We've been angry at ourselves for different reasons and angry at each other. I don't want to hurt you anymore, and l don't want you hurting me either."

"Anything to help our marriage but I think it should be someone else. Isobel is more of a friend now," he says. "Remember the doctor at the hospital who offered to hook you up with some counseling after we lost Tyler? Dr. Wilson I think was his name. I think we should call him, get the name he mentioned, and make an appointment." I move myself to straddle his lap making sure to leave enough room between us for my growing belly. I want ... no I _need_ to be as close as I can to him right now. I clasp my hands behind his neck, and he rests his hands on my hips. I stare into his now sparkling eyes.

"You really love me, don't you?"

"You know I do," he says with a smile then his expression turns serious. "This doesn't bother you being so close to me." He moves his hips slightly upwards, not that I need a reminder that I'm sitting on his lap.

"Not at all," l say moving myself even closer. He draws in an unsteady breath. "I refuse to dwell on what Peter did. I'm not going to let him change me ... change us. Oh, and you were wrong earlier, Tobias. He did what he did to both of us. It hurt us both, right?"

"Yes, it hurt a hell of a lot," he says with a nod. "I'll be honest, it still does. It also made me jealous, especially when l heard you calling out for _him_."

"I wish you would have talked to me about what you heard immediately. I had no idea I talk in my sleep. I could have eased your fears. I could have told you that I'm not confused," I say. "I would have told you that I've been having dreams about him kidnapping me. I don't remember specifics but they're not happy dreams. I haven't been calling out for him in a romantic way or a..."

"Sexual way?" he asks looking bashfully at me.

"Oh, God! Not at all," I say horrified. "My time away from you ... wasn't good for me. I was so confused the entire time that I practically had myself convinced that either _I_ had gone crazy or the entire city."

"When I found you, you said that he had hurt you but I never asked you to elaborate," he quietly says. "Will you do that now?" I stare at him for a moment wondering if telling him will be beneficial or have the opposite effect. I lower my head so l don't have to look him in the eyes as I tell him what Peter did.

"I will tell you this only because we promised no secrets," I whisper. I swallow past the lump in my throat before I continue. "He was rough … extremely rough with me. He didn't … wait until I was ready. It hurt … really bad. All I could do was lie there and let him _use_ _me_ until he finished. He wasn't concerned with my pleasure, he only worried about his own. When he was done I rolled away from him and cried." Tears of rage and humiliation shake my body. I take a couple deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. "It was in that moment I knew I had made a terrible mistake. Then he nearly demanded that we do it again but I told him I was tired and didn't feel well to get out of doing it. My memories were so different from what was going on in reality. I couldn't figure it out. I know why now. My memories were of you." I finally move my eyes back to his, and they haven't changed. I think I was expecting a look of horror but he is still looking at me with love and adoration. "Do you know what confused me the most? Anytime he told me he loved me I could see it in his eyes. He would treat me horribly and yet love would shine in his eyes. I think that's how he was able to keep up the charade for so long. I never told you this but when he came into my hospital room I questioned him on why everything felt so off. I told him he didn't seem like the man I fell in love with but he shrugged it off as a long day and wedding jitters then told me he loved me and … I believed him."

"I'm sorry he put you through that," he says. "It isn't fair."

"Earlier you asked about me being close to you. You're remembering how l reacted to what happened in the training room. This would have set me off." I casually run my fingertips down his face and onto his chest. "But you've forgotten something. I've changed. I'm stronger now. And I love you more than anything. Please don't doubt that." He literally picks me up and I move my legs until I'm sitting across his lap with my belly out of the way. He leans me back until I'm lying on the couch, and he covers my upper body with his. He raises his hand and gently glides it down my face. "I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too, Tris. I'm so sorry that I've spent the past few days sulking instead of taking care of you." The hand that is resting on my thigh casually trails its way up my body until he cups my throbbing breast. "I could have been doing this." He kneads the aching flesh before his mouth lands on mine. We kiss softly for a moment then he glides his tongue against my lips until I open for him. He slips his tongue into my now open mouth until he finds mine, and we let them dance intimately. Suddenly something doesn't feel right.

I move my head to the right breaking our kiss and say, "No, no, get off me. I need to get up." He immediately leans back, helps me up, and I get off his lap. I walk around a little bit then feel it again. Tears roll down my face.

"My God, Tris," he says, springing to his feet when he sees my tears. "I'm sorry. We were moving too fast. I promise, we'll slow down." I start slowly shaking my head, unable to speak because of the emotions running through me. "What is it, love? What's wrong?"

"The baby," I blubber. He puts his hands on my abdomen and his face in mine.

"What about the baby?" he forcefully asks, a very intense look on his face. I put my hands on his cheeks and pull his mouth to mine and kiss him passionately. He breaks away from me, looking like he's going to explode. "Beatrice!"

"The baby moved," I say meeting his concerned eyes. "I wasn't sure at first but then she moved again."

"She?" he says unbelievably.

"Yes," I whisper. "I can't believe that I never told you. I'm so sorry. I'm carrying your daughter, Tobias. Peanut's a girl. Didn't you find the ultrasound pictures on Monday?" He stands unmoving, staring at me not saying a word. I just smile at him letting him get his bearing. I feel the bubble-like sensation in my tummy again, and I move my hands to my abdomen. "I wish you could feel this. It's amazing and _real_. She's a little person in here." Suddenly his strong arms are around me, holding me close to him, and his lips are moving hungrily with mine. I run the very tip of my tongue across his full bottom lip. He opens his mouth, and I feel his hot, moist breath rush into my mouth and, I literally breathe him in. I feel the little bubbles in my tummy again, and I break away from Tobias with an, "Oh!"

"Did she move again?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say. We hear Tyler coming down the stairs so we sit down on the couch. He still has sleep obvious on his little face but when he sees Tobias he lights up and runs to him.

"Daddy, Daddy," he says. "You home!" Tobias looks radiant and agonized all at the same time. He now knows that his actions the past few days have affected us all.

"I owe you an apology too, buddy," he says, looking into my eyes then back at his son. "I haven't been around much the past couple days, and that was unfair of me. Daddy is so sorry. When I didn't know where Mommy was it really made my heart hurt and then when I found her I got really, really mad ... at myself."

"You fault Mommy go?" he asks. My eyes meet Tobias', and I see a light go off.

"No, it wasn't my fault that Mommy was taken," he says. "There was a bad man who thought that he loved her but he didn't. He hurt her but I'll never let anything like that happen ever again." Tyler turns and looks at me.

"You huwt?" he asks with grave concern on his little face.

"No, honey I'm just fine. You know why? Because I have you and your sister and your daddy, and I'm here with all of you. _That's_ what's important," I say. "We're all going to be just fine." He throws his arms around Tobias' neck, startling him a bit.

"So glad you home," he says. "Miss you. Can we go to pawk?" I chuckle at his innocence. Tobias looks at me, and I smile and nod his way. I would love nothing more than to spend the afternoon with my family outside of this apartment without having to worry if someone is stalking my every move.

"Well, how about we go to the Navy Pier," Tobias says. "The carousel opened on Wednesday. We could all take a few rides and maybe even go on the Ferris wheel together. And no, I never saw the ultrasound, Tris." I wonder where it went.

"Ice cweam?" Tyler asks with expectation on his face. Tobias and I laugh together.

"I think that can be arranged," I say. "Tobias why don't you fix us some lunch. I hear someone who needs some attention. Then we'll eat and go. Does that sound like a plan?"

"Sounds like a great idea to me," Tobias says as he lifts Tyler up and takes him into the kitchen to make us some soup and sandwiches. I get to Tessa just as she starts crying.

"Oh, little one. Mommy is so sorry," I say. I quickly change her dirty diaper before I pick her up. She stops crying but tries to shove her tiny fists down her throat. She meets my eyes and smiles at me as she chews on her hands. "Okay, I won't make you wait anymore." I sit in my oversized club chair and nurse her. She seems very content when she's eating. I love this time I get with her. _Thank you, Evelyn, for being selfless enough to let her have two parents who love her more than anything_.

"Hey there, princess," Tobias says from my shoulder. "Daddy is really jealous right now." I gasp at my husband but smile over my shoulder at him. He lowers his lips to mine and gives me a quick kiss that oozes love. "Soup's on when you're done. How about we lock the door tonight ... if you're up for it, that is."

"I would love that, more than anything," I say, meaning it wholeheartedly. I cup the back of his head and pull him down for another kiss. We break apart when Tyler starts laughing embarrassedly. That child! "I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, Tris," he says.

"Love you, Mommy and Daddy," Tyler says wanting in on the game. We both start laughing heartily.

"I love you too, Tyler," Tobias says still chuckling. "You too, my little princess." He kisses her little head then the swell of my bare breast.

"Mommy loves you, Tyler," I say. "Mommy loves you, too, little one." We all chuckle when the I love you's are finished. I put Tessa in her swing when she finishes but I don't turn it on. I don't want her spitting up. I sit her next to the island right between me and Tobias. Just as we finish lunch, there's a knock on the door. Tobias finishes putting the plates he's holding in the dishwasher then goes to the door and opens it up. Tori, Harrison, and Will are on the other side with somber faces.

"Hey guys," he says. "I'm glad you caught us. We were just getting ready to leave. Come in." They all walk into the room but there are still no smiles.

"Do we have some business to take care of?" I ask. Tori nods at me. "Tyler, can you go up to your room. Mommy will come and get you when we're done." He tells me okay and goes upstairs. "What is this about, guys?" Will looks at the others and takes a step forward.

"It's about Peter," he says.

"What about that bastard?" Tobias asks. "He better not have escaped again."

"No," Will says. "Actually … he's dead."


	61. Chapter 61

Peter dead? This may make me the most horrible woman in the world but I've never been so happy in my entire life to hear about someone's demise. Hopefully one day soon I will hear the same wonderful news about my hateful father-in-law. I'm his family now and the child I'm carrying is his granddaughter, and he just gave us away without a second thought. Tobias was right when he said he has a dysfunctional family.

"What do you mean Peter is _dead_?" Tobias spits transforming into Four right before all our eyes, his voice raising angrily with each word. "How the _hell_ did that happen? Who was supposed to be watching him? Whoever it is, they're _factionless_ now."

"We don't know what happened. We haven't started the investigation yet," Tori says. "We knew we had to tell you before we did anything."

"How did he die?" I ask, feeling the need to know for some reason. "Where's his body?" They all stand around looking at each other hesitantly. "What's going on, guys? I know you aren't saying something. Just spit it out."

"Here's the deal, Four," Will says. "We don't think you should be involved in the case because of the circumstances behind his incarceration."

"Am I a suspect?" Tobias says disbelievingly. I can tell he is by the look on their faces. I walk to his side and take his hand in a show of support. I know that he would have loved to do the honors of removing that piece of garbage from this city but he would never hurt me in that way. That broken promise would lead to certain death for him and my heart.

"You are the most obvious person to have done this," Harrison says. "Someone will cry favoritism if the number one suspect leads the investigation."

"Number one," he says under his breath. "Do you have any _other_ suspects?"

"Yeah, Tris," Tori says turning to look at me. "He kidnapped you."

"And worse," I say with a sigh. Tobias squeezes my hand. "But I didn't kill him. Although, I'm not disappointed that he's dead."

"Well I am," Tobias says exasperatedly. "I told that bastard _I_ would administer the death serum after he was sentenced. Someone took that away from me. But I'm not sorry that bastard is dead. Not one bit but I am sorry he died before he could be convicted of his crimes. I wanted everyone in this city to know what kind of person he was. I wanted him to pay for the hell he has put Tris through. I wouldn't have killed him. It was too merciful."

"I know that neither one of you did this," Will says.

"Will!" Tori says. "We can't be biased."

" _I'm_ not," he says. "I just know my friends. They didn't do this."

"None of us think either of you did this," Harrison says, "but we have to stay impartial."

"I expect nothing less from my fellow leaders. Go start your investigation and follow it wherever it leads," Tobias says. "I didn't do anything; therefore, I have nothing to hide."

"I have a couple questions. Where's Peter's body?" I ask not really caring but still needing to know, "and how did he die?"

"We honestly don't know how he died," Tori says.

"Dr. Parrish is doing an autopsy as we speak," Harrison says. "Once he gives us his findings we'll have more to go on. We're headed to the control room to talk to Zeke now."

"Okay," Tobias says. "I'm taking Tris and the kids to the Navy Pier and then for some ice cream. I know that neither one of us can be involved in the investigation but if you would keep us in the loop, I would appreciate it."

"You got it," Will says. "Try not to worry about what's going on right now and have a good time at the Navy Pier with the kids."

"We will and there will be no worrying," I say. "Neither one of us did this. Four, I'm going to get Tyler so we can go." I turn and walk up the stairs. I'm expecting him to be in his room but I find him lying in the middle of my bed surrounded by book. He's propped up on my pillow with his legs crossed looking at a popup book. "Are you having fun?" He puts the book down and smiles at me.

"Weady to go?" he asks.

"We sure are," I say. "Let's clean up the bed then I'll let you help me pack the diaper bag." He gathers the books up, and I help him get down. He puts them back on the shelf in his room. We go into Tessa's room, and I pick up the bag, and Tyler hands me diapers, wipes, powder, ointment, a couple blankets, and the extra outfit I picked out for her just in case it's needed. Then we go back into Tyler's room, and I have him put a couple of his diapers and an extra outfit for him in it also. "Will you carry the diaper bag for Mommy?"

"Yeah," he happily says putting the strap over his shoulder. I chuckle when the bag still drags the floor as he walks down the stairs. "Weady to go, Daddy?" Tobias turns and looks at Tyler and smiles.

"I am. How about I help you with that," Tobias say. "It's almost as big as you are." Tyler hands the strap of the bag to his father, and he lifts it over his shoulder then he hoists our son up into his arms. Tessa is still awake in the swing, contentedly cooing at nothing. I go to her and pick her up. Her eyes light up even more when she sees it's me paying her attention. After we decide we have everything that we need, we walk to the garage. I notice the hushed conversations stop all together when we get within earshot. I can see that we are a source of hot gossip once again. Oh well. What's new? We finish our trip to the garage with Tyler chatting excitedly about what he wants to do this afternoon. When we step into the garage my throat tightens up. It's the first time I've been here since Peter and Marcus took me almost a week ago.

"Hey, are you alright?" Tobias asks, of course noticing my reaction. "Is there anything at all I can do to help you?"

"Just being with you helps," I say taking an instinctive step closer to him. I always feel safe when I'm near him. My eyes scan the surroundings automatically with each step looking for danger that no longer exists. I feel better when we reach the car. We put the kids in their seats and head toward the Navy Pier. "Do you know what one of the first things I'm going to do when I'm no longer pregnant?"

"I can think of something," he says with a lustful sparkle in his eyes that makes me blush.

"You really have a one track mind ... not that I'm complaining," I say with a sexy smile. "But no, I'm going to ride the train. I miss it … a lot. I think I just made a decision."

"What's that?" he asks getting whiplash from my thought process.

"No more babies for at least two years," I say.

"You really think you'll want more once Peanut is born?" he asks. "We'll have three kids. Maybe that will be enough."

"I'll let you know once I go into labor," I say. "I'm really nervous. I know women have been having babies since the beginning of time but it's new to me."

"I'll be with you the entire time holding your hand," he says.

"I know you will," I say, reaching across the seat and taking his hand and lacing our fingers together. "You are a wonderful husband, father, and so much more." We pull into the small gravel parking lot across from the Navy Pier and park next to the lone vehicle, which looks extremely familiar.

"Looks like the Stella and the kids are here," Tobias says noticing the familiar car also.

"Zane!" Tyler yells, waking Tessa from her nap who starts screaming also but not in a good way. I get out of the car and liberate her from her car seat, which she hates. I see Tobias talking to Tyler out of the corner of my eye, and he hangs his head and slowly walks to me.

"I sowwy I wake up Tess, Mommy," he says, his bottom lip sticking out.

"I know you are," I say kneeling down in front of him. "I need you to be more careful when she's sleeping. She's pretty grouchy when she doesn't get her nap, isn't she?" He nods his head at me, tears gathering in his eyes. "Don't cry. I'm not mad at you and neither is Daddy."

"Have to go home?" he asks.

"Of course not," Tobias says. "Shall we go to the carousel?" He nods eagerly up and down, gives Tessa a little peck on the head then takes Tobias' hand.

"She seems hungry. I'm going to feed her then I'll catch up with you," I say.

"I'm not sure about that," he says.

"The danger is over," I say. "He's gone. He can't hurt me anymore. We'll be fine."

"Okay. We'll see you soon," Tobias says giving me a quick kiss. I watch them walk hand-in-hand across the street then I get in the backseat with Tessa.

"Hey little one, how are you hungry again already?" I ask. I take the blanket out of the diaper bag, put her to my breast, and cover us up. She suckles greedily, getting her fill. I relax into the seat and concentrate on my daughter. "I love you very much. You have made me so happy. I can't imagine my life without you." I peek under the blanket to make sure she's okay. I catch her eye and she smiles at me then latches back on not missing a beat. I joked once about her being a pro but it's the absolute truth. I watch her until she's done then straight my clothes, put the blanket back in the bag, and get out of the car. I cross the empty road carrying Tessa in one arm and the diaper bag in the other and walk to the carousel. I find an empty bench and watch Tobias standing next to Tyler who is sitting on a freshly-painted zebra with a smile as bright as the sun. I catch Tobias' eyes and his face lights up just like Tyler's. I love it when my boys are so happy. When the ride ends, they wave me over, and I step up and sit on an ornately decorated bench next to Stella. I put Tessa on my right shoulder out of the sun so she can sleep. I end up putting the lightweight blanket over her head to block out some of the sound and she sleeps more soundly.

"I have so much fun," Tyler says giggling.

"Me too," Zane says who is sitting on a spotted pony next to Tyler.

"I'm glad you're having fun, boys," Tobias says. "We all need some fun." We ride round and round for a good hour, me talking to Stella as we watch all the kids laughing and having fun until I think I'm going throw up from motion sickness. After a little begging on my part, we get off the carousel and walk over to the Ferris wheel after saying goodbye to Stella and the kids who leave for home. Tobias gives his identification card to the attendant and pays for several rides in a row on the big wheel. We walk into the metal gondola and sit on the bench. Tyler sits between us, and Tobias takes Tessa from me to give my arms a rest. Once we get close to the top, I pick up Tyler so he can see the city. He ooh's and ah's all over the place taking in the sights before him.

"So pwetty," Tyler says still staring through the protective grating. He yawns and sits down. I wrap my arms around him as we continue our leisurely ride. Within minutes, he is sound asleep. I glance at Tobias, and he's looking out the car at the city with a content look on his face. Tessa is awake and holding her head up, looking all around.

"Hey, little one," I say. She turns toward the sound of my voice, and smiles at me. "She knows my voice. Yep, she just smiled at me again."

"Of course, she knows your voice," he says. "You talk to her all the time. You are such a wonderful mother."

"Thank you," I say leaning over and placing my lips on his. "Thank you for loving me through everything that happened this week. Peter and Marcus wanted us apart for their own selfish reasons but we survived."

"There is nothing that they or anyone else can do to keep us away from each other," he says. "I'm so sorry for the past couple days but especially this morning. I was almost the one who broke us up with my actions. I don't know how you could forgive me so easily." Tears gather in his eyes.

"Tobias, is there anything I could say or do to you that would make you stop loving me?" I ask. He looks at me like I've lost my mind and shakes his head. "So why would a couple bad days and one comment make me stop loving you. I came home and I could feel you pulling away from me when all I wanted was for you to wrap your arms around me and show me how much you still love me. Now all I want is to be you and me. I don't want to fight or pout or dwell on things that don't matter." He puts his lips back on mine and slowly, softly kisses me.

"I love you," he says when he moves his mouth away from mine. "I won't allow anyone including you or me to mess up what we have. I promise, we'll get counseling and this past week will only make us stronger." The Ferris wheel comes to a gentle stop, and we carry our children to the car.

"You know, Tyler will kill us if we don't stop for ice cream but I hate to wake him up," I say. "Let's stop and get some to take home."

"Sounds like a great idea, "he says. "Should I get one quart or two or three pints?"

"Why don't you get a variety, just make sure you get some vanilla for your son."

"I love that I get to call him my son," he says. "And I won't forget vanilla. He would make me go back to the ice cream parlor and get it."

"Yes, he would," I say with a chuckle. We continue on to the now familiar buildings carrying on a conversation in hushed tones. When we reach the ice cream parlor, he pulls up in front of the building, leaves the car running, and quickly goes and comes back with four pints of different flavored desserts but he won't tell me what kinds he got. It's a surprise.

By the time we get back to Dauntless both of the kids are asleep in the backseat. Tobias parks in front of the Pire instead of going to the garage to save me another panicked reaction to the familiar space. I'm going to have to take baby steps to get myself used to it like I did with the training room. I carry Tessa up to the apartment followed closely by Tobias carrying Tyler and the ice cream he bought us. He continues right up the stairs and puts him in his bed as I put Tessa in her bassinet. I look down at my sweet baby girl and realize she is going to be too big for the portable bed soon. I'm going to have to go to the store and find something new or start taking her upstairs for her naps. Something close to panic hits me just thinking of having her on another level while she naps. It's okay for Tyler but he's older. No, I need to make yet another trip to the home store. Wow, babies are expensive!

"I'm going to go move the car," Tobias says as he comes into the room. I'm sitting on the couch relaxing after our afternoon getaway. "Do you want me to pick up something for supper? I'm too tired to make anything fancy."

"Why don't you pick up a pizza we can throw in the oven? I'm really too tired to make supper too," I say. "I think we have the fixings for a salad we can serve alongside of it so we are getting some vegetables." I hear his chuckle from right behind me. I didn't realize he was so close. He leans over and kisses the top of my head.

"Always a mother," he says barely over a whisper. I smile. I must admit when it was just the two of us I didn't care if we got our fruits and vegetables every day or not but since the kids have come along, I'm vigilant.

"I'll make a fruit salad also," I say.

"I'll have to stop at the commissary then," he says. "Do you have a particular request for pizza toppings?"

"I'm okay with pepperoni but I'll leave it up to you if something else sounds good," I say.

"I'll be right back," he says as he heads out the door. I lie down on the couch to see if I can get some rest since there isn't anything for me to do when I hear Tyler coming down the stairs. I sit up just as he comes into the living room. Either he has had a bad dream or he realized that we didn't stop for ice cream because he has tears in his eyes.

"Come here," I say holding my arms out to him. He runs across the wooden floor to me, his feet barely making a sound, and I lift him up into my lap and wrap my arms around him. "What's wrong?"

"No ice cweam," he says. I do my best not to laugh but I silently shake for a moment before I can contain myself.

"You were asleep, and we didn't want to wake you up," I say. "Mommy and Daddy stopped at the ice cream parlor and brought some home for all of us to have after supper. Daddy got you a little surprise too but you have to be good the rest of the night."

"Otay," he says looking around. "Daddy gone?" He sounds a bit sad as he says this.

"He went to the store," I say. "He's going to make us pizza for supper, and I'm going to make a fruit salad and a lettuce salad."

"Can we watch movie?" he asks, his expression hopeful. The last thing I want to do is watch _Cars_ tonight but I tell him we can watch a movie. He gets down off my lap and goes to the shelf that holds the movies that we allow him to watch, and he studies them for a long time pulling each one off the shelf, looking at the front and back like he's actually reading about the plots. The door opens and Tobias walks in. He sees Tyler at the movies and his eyes widen. I can tell he's scared of the prospect of watching the same movie I am.

"Hi, buddy," he says. "I thought you might want to watch a movie tonight so I went to the electronics store and got two new ones." He reaches into the sack and pulls out two cardboard sleeves. Tyler runs to him and rips them open and smiles.

"Dwagons!" he says.

"Bring them to Mommy and we'll see what Daddy bought you," I say. He slides between the love seat and the end table and brings me the movies. " _How to Train a Dragon_ One and Two. Oh boy, Tyler, these sound really good. We'll watch the first one after supper. We'll have to wait until tomorrow to watch the next one. What do you say to Daddy?"

"Thanks, Daddy," he says.

"You're very welcome, buddy," he says. "Can you come here for a minute and help me?" Tyler runs to Tobias. I wonder how we are going to stop that. He really shouldn't be running in the house but we've let it go on for so long that it's going to be a hard habit to break. He runs back my way, with his eyes sparkling like diamonds, holding his hand out to me.

"What's this?" I ask.

"Daddy got you pwesent, too!" he excitedly says. I turn sideways on the couch and give Tobias a dirty look. "Open! Open!" Tyler is so excited whenever gifts are given. I take the small box from him and take the lid off to reveal a tiny red racecar painted to look exactly like Lightning McQueen from Tyler's favorite movie. When Tyler sees it he squeals loudly, "Queen!"

"That's right," Tobias says from right behind us. "That is for Mommy's charm bracelet. Every time she looks at it, she'll think of you." His eyes widen and he puts his hands on his little hips.

"Weally? Think of me?" I look up at Tobias and smile warmly.

"Will you get my bracelet for me?" I ask. He goes upstairs and comes back down immediately. He hands me my bracelet, and I put my new charm on it then fasten it to my arm. I pull Tyler up on my lap and hold my wrist out in front of him. "Do you see these two? This one with the Dauntless flames and this one with the Abnegation joined hands." He stares intently at my first two charms. "Daddy gave those to me when I became a member of Dauntless. This one reminds me of where I came from and this one tells me how far I've come."

"What this one fo?" he ask pointing at the handmade bear that Tobias added the diamond to.

"Every time I look at that one, I'm reminded of Tessa," I say. "Daddy gave me this ring when he asked me to marry him and this bell when we got married." I point out each charm and what they mean to me except for the one that reminds me of the first time I made love to Tobias. I tell him it was to remind me of the first time Daddy told me he loved me. He loves hearing about all the events that have been immortalized on my bracelet. He hangs on every word.

"I think our princess is getting hungry," Tobias says, picking her up and bringing her to me.

"Hey there, little one. You sure are hungry today," I say. "Are you wanting your Mommy?" She whines a little bit as she roots toward my breast. Yep, she's hungry. Tobias takes Tyler to the kitchen and lets him watch as he makes the salads while l feed Tessa. She finishes just as the timer goes off for the pizza. I put her in the bassinet, run upstairs, get her a pair of pajamas then run back down. I quickly change her diaper and put her in a pink and green gown. She yawns widely so I decide to leave her in the bassinet. I kiss her head and say, "I love you. Sleep tight."

"Supper's on the table, love," Tobias says.

"Okay," I say joining him and Tyler at the island. We eat our hearty supper then I clean up the kitchen while Tobias puts Tyler's new movie in the DVD player. About an hour into the cute cartoon, Tobias fixes us each a bowl of ice cream. I hold Tyler on my lap while he eats his vanilla ice cream in the child sized waffle bowl Tobias bought especially for him so he doesn't make a mess. Tobias feeds me a couple bites of his mint chocolate chip and chocolate chip cookie dough, and I give him bites of my pralines and cream and chocolate-covered peanut-butter-filled-pretzel in vanilla malt ice cream. I liked the ones he let me try but I wouldn't trade mine away for anything.

"Are you ready for bed, buddy?" Tobias asks when the movie ends. Tyler looks like he wants to argue but instead he yawns. "I'll take that as a yes. Come to Daddy." He puts his arms up and Tobias picks him up.

"Night, Mommy," Tyler says. "Night, Tess."

"Night, buddy," I say. "I love you to the moon and back. Sleep tight."

"Love you moon back," he says as he wraps his arms around Tobias' neck and lays his head on his shoulder, yawning again. They turn and go up the stairs just as I hear Tessa cooing in the bassinet. I bring her to the couch and when he gets done putting Tyler to bed, Tobias joins us.

"Do you want to see your Daddy?" I ask when he sits next to me. I take her smile as a yes and hand her to him.

"Hey princess," he says kissing her head. "Why aren't you asleep? Daddy was hoping to get a little."

"Tobias!" I say.

"Just being honest," he says, leaning over to kiss me. I nearly get caught up in his lips when Tessa squeals reminding us that she is in his lap. I cuddle into his side and we laugh, talk, and play with our baby. I love these random little ordinary moments with my family. "What's wrong, love?" I furrow my eyebrows at him, not knowing what his talking about. I'm incredibly happy right now.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"You have tears in your eyes," he says. "What were you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about Tyler and Tessa and you of course," I say. "I tell you what, why don't I take Tessa upstairs to nurse and put her to bed then I'm all yours, and we can lock the door ... if you're still up for it." He stares at me, and I can see the hunger in his eyes, which makes my stomach tighten. He still wants me. I feel tears gather in my eyes again, and I quickly wipe them away.

"You take care of our daughter then I will be happy to lock myself away with you, Mrs. Eaton," he says.

"I don't deserve you," I whisper.

"Don't talk that way, Tris," he says turning extremely serious on me. "I love you more than anyone or anything else. If you don't deserve me then I sure as hell don't deserve you."

"I love you, too, Tobias."


	62. Chapter 62

I take Tessa out of Tobias' arms after giving him a long, heartfelt kiss and carry her up to her room. I change her diaper then sit down in her rocking chair to feed her. I look around wondering how I'm going to fit two infants in this small room. When the girls are older we can always get them bunk beds but until then two baby beds are going to be an extremely tight fit. When she finishes eating, I rock her to sleep then put her in her crib, tuck her in, and kiss her little forehead.

"Sleep tight, my beautiful angel," I say. "Mommy loves you very much. Never forget that."

"She knows," Tobias softly says from the doorway, startling me and making my heart nearly stop beating. He grabs my hand and leads me out into the hallway. "I'm sorry I scared you, love. I thought you knew I was there. Forgive me."

"I'll let you know if I forgive you once my heart starts beating again," I say, my hand over my now hammering heart. Tobias gently pushes my hand out of the way and places his over my left breast. We stare into each other's eyes.

"I think it's getting even faster," he roughly says. "Do you have any idea why that is?" One minute his hand is on my chest evaluating my racing pulse and the next I'm in his arms and his mouth is moving vigorously with mine. He carries me down the hall and into our bedroom and gently deposits me on my feet beside the bed. He walks across the room and closes and locks our doors. There will be no interruptions tonight. I look toward the nightstand and see that Tessa's baby monitor is turned on.

"I hate to bring the mood down but I need to ask you something," I breathlessly say. He comes back to me and puts his hands on my hips and I rest mine on his chest. "Are you sure you are okay with this? I know what happened wasn't my fault ... but it did happen. God, I shouldn't be bringing this up right now." I hide my face in his chest, not wanting to see his reaction. I really shouldn't have said anything.

"I love you," he says, profound emotion ringing clear in his voice. "I could have cut my tongue out this morning when those hateful words came flying out of my mouth. They aren't how I feel, then or now. I'm not lying or trying to make light of a terrible situation. You were kidnapped, drugged, and taken advantage of. I'm surprised _you_ are even considering making love to me right now."

"Once I remembered who I was ... who you are ... who _we_ are, I've wanted you, Tobias," I say raising my eyes to meet his. "I need you to make me _your_ wife again. _Please_! Make love to me."

"You've always been and always will be _my_ wife. No one can change that," he says with strong conviction in his voice. "I know I just told you this but I'm going to tell you again because I never want you to forget it. I love you, Beatrice Grace Eaton. You're _mine_ and no one else's." He put his soft, warm lips on mine and kisses me tenderly. I glide my hands up his chest and rest them on his shoulders as I enjoy the feel of his lips moving with mine. He slides his mouth to my cheek and places sweet little kisses over every single inch as his hands roam freely over my body.

"That tickles," I say with a giggle and I feel his lips turn up into a smile on my skin. I travel my hands slowly down his body and slip them under the hem of his t-shirt. He shudders when I lightly touch the warm skin of his taut abs. He moves his mouth back to mine, and we let the kiss become deeper, more passionate. As he glides his hands up and down my arms, he runs his tongue across my bottom lip. I moan and open my mouth for him. He slips his tongue between my parted lips and makes love to my mouth. I feel his hands gently moving over my body, his touch as light as a feather. The side of his fingers graze my breasts and continue down to roam over my belly. He breaks our kiss, whips his shirt off over his head then he deftly unbuttons the lightweight sweater I'm wearing and pushes it off my shoulders never taking his eyes off mine. I raise my hands over my head, and he gently slides my tank top up my body and off. He tosses it to the ground with our growing pile of clothes.

He puts his mouth on the sensitive skin of my neck, which is tilted for better access, placing soft barely-there kisses sending shivers throughout my heated body. I draw a ragged breath into my aching lungs as he moves his mouth up to my left ear and glides the very tip of his hot, moist tongue over every single inch. When he takes the lobe between his teeth and nibbles slightly, I moan deeply. He then dips his tongue into the ear as I run my hands over his body with a nearly imperceptible touch, never letting them settle for an instant.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, his lips pressed right up to my ear. He puts his hands on the waistband of my stretchy yoga pants and kneels down in front of me. He slowly lowers them down my body placing kisses on the skin he exposes until I step out of them. He looks up at me like he is worshiping at an altar. "I'm not going too fast, am I? I don't want you feeling frightened or overwhelmed. I just want to show you how much I love you."

"You're not going to fast," I say. "Come here." I help him to his feet and pull him to me. I run my tongue up his right ear and chuckle when he groans deeply. "I've missed you, Tobias."

"I've missed you, too," he says, the harsh rush of his breath hitting me in the side of the face. I unbutton this jeans, put my hands inside, cup his backside, and roughly pull him to me while I tease his right ear. I feel his hard arousal against me, and I nip at his earlobe. I take my hands out of his pants and my mouth off his ear and work his jeans down his body until they are laying in the pile with the rest of our discarded clothes.

I stand back up trailing kisses here and there along his marvelous body and take his hand and lead him to the bed. I sit down and slide back, and he lies beside me until we are sideways on our big comfortable bed. He glides his free hand down my face and moves his lips back to mine for a slow yet intense kiss. When he pulls away, I capture his bottom lip with my teeth, teasingly biting him. I see his eyes dilate further, and I release his lip but immediately raise my mouth to his again. This time the kiss is more enthusiastic and powerful. I don't know what I'm liking most right now, his loving kisses or his affectionate caresses.

I feel his touch everywhere. He glides his hands down my body, circling my belly lovingly. Then he moves them up and tenderly kneads my aching breasts before moving up to tangle his fingers in my hair. I scratch my fingernails down his back while he makes my excitement grow with each caress. He reaches underneath me with one hand and expertly unhooks my lacy black bra. I slide it down my arms and toss it off the side of the bed and bring his mouth to mine again for a long, lingering, intoxicating kiss. When we break away breathless his eyes are glazed over with unadulterated lust. He moves his mouth to my neck and places arousing kisses in all the right places. His left hand softly glides from my swollen tummy to my round, firm breast and kneads gently. He then moves his mouth and captures the aching nipple between his teeth. He circles it with his tongue for a moment before he sucks it into his mouth. I arch my back, moving my chest closer to his extraordinary talents. He knows exactly what to do to maximize my pleasure and doing so increases his own desire. We are absolutely perfect for one another.

I slowly lower my left hand down his body, trailing my fingertips against his heated skin until I reach his boxer briefs. I rub my hand lightly over his rigid protrusion, feeling it swell further because of my attention before slipping inside and taking him in my hand. I glide my loose grip up and down his unbending shaft, and he raises his head and looks me in the eyes. I take my right hand and pull his mouth to mine. His kiss is aggressive and unyielding yet tender and full of love. He moves his hand down my body rubbing my belly lightly for a minute before slipping it further down. I automatically part my legs for him when he delicately rubs his fingers along my lacy boy shorts. He stimulates me through my panties for a while before he too slips his hand inside the lingerie. He moves his mouth away from mine so he can stare down into my eyes as he searches for my moist center. He gathers up some of the wetness with his middle finger then starts a gentle barely there circular motion on my throbbing nubbin. I gasp at his familiar, loving touch and feel his hot, moist breath coming quicker and quicker across my moist, trembling lips. He abruptly stops his ministrations and takes his fingers out of my panties. He puts his hands on the waistband of my boy shorts and gently lowers them down my legs and tosses them over my shoulder. I let go of his throbbing manhood as he gets out of bed. He lowers his tight boxer briefs down his body, never taking his eyes off of mine. When he gets back on the bed and kneels between my parted thighs, he looks at me like I'm a Greek Goddess.

"I'm so glad you came back to me, Tris," he roughly says. "I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you." I sit up so that we are face to face. I don't say anything. There is nothing to say. I know how unbearable that would be. I wrap my arms around his neck and draw his mouth to mine for a sensually-charged intimate kiss. He lowers me back onto the bed until every inch of his body is lying on top of mine. He keeps his weight off of my midsection though, making sure that we don't do anything to hurt our little Peanut.

"I need you inside me, Tobias," I whisper, moisture gathering in my eyes thinking about him loving me again. "But I need to look you in the eye. Maybe I should be on top." He gives me a long, passionate kiss.

"I have another idea," he says. "If at any time you want to stop, if you aren't comfortable or something hurts, let me know immediately, and we'll stop. Okay?" I run both my hands through his hair and give him a long, slow, intoxicating kiss. When he pulls back he rolls off of me. "We can look into each other's eyes like we did on our honeymoon when I was behind you but you turned the top of your body toward me." I remember our extended game of naughty Candor or Dauntless and all the lovemaking that it led to and smile and nod at him. I roll up on my side facing away from him and feel his body mold to every inch of mine. He kisses my exposed neck and shoulder while his hands roam over my body never stopping for too long. He moves his body away from mine, and I twist at the waist until my back is flat on the mattress. He then moves over me so he's looking me in the eyes. After he feels that I've relaxed totally, he guides my right leg over both of his, and I feel him position himself at my moist womanhood. He starts a gentle, steady pressure while he is looking deeply into my eyes, and he slides into my body about an inch. "Are you okay? You're not hurting, are you? How's your back?"

"Tobias," I breathlessly say, grasping his face between my hands, "I'm fine. Make love to me. I need you. If it becomes uncomfortable, I'll let you know. I promise. You're worrying about nothing. Right now it's fine, except I need more of you inside me. _Please_. I love you. I need you to show me how much you still love me." He reapplies the steady pressure until he slips fully within my depths, and I sigh contentedly. We don't move much for a full five minutes. We just stare in each other's eyes, making only tiny movements, enjoying the feel of being one … of being complete. "Thank you for taking your time. I'm ready now."

He places his forehead on mine, keeping his eyes glued to mine as he pulls his hips back, slowly withdrawing from my body, leaving only the head then pushing back into me just as slowly. I draw his mouth to mine and kiss him as we set a leisurely rhythm, enjoying each other's bodies. He takes advantage of this position and moves a hand to cup one of my aching breasts and caress and massage it gently. He moves his mouth from mine and kisses my neck and shoulder and quickens the pace marginally. I slowly move my leg from over his and let it rest with my other one. We both notice the change in how it feels inside me, and he growls deeply, and I absentmindedly clench down on his invading length.

"I don't know how it's possible," he pants in my ear, "but you are tighter than ever before in this position. I love it. God, you feel so good."

"It does feel great," I say in breathless anticipation, drawing his mouth to mine again. Once again we increase the in-and-out pace, and I feel myself climbing toward long overdue completion. I slowly move a hand down his muscular body until I grasp his backside as he's thrusting into me at a wonderfully fulfilling pace. I feel the muscles contract and relax over and over under my hand, and the new sensation gives me a mini spasm of pleasure, and I convulse around his length. He moves his mouth back to mine as he increases the speed of his long, deep strokes. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him close to me. I feel like I'm barreling straight toward some unknown peak, and I'm loving every minute of it. My breathing becomes spotty and labored, as does his. When I feel his stride change and his thrusts become quicker and shorter, I know that he is going to come soon. After a couple minutes I feel him start to swell within my depths, and it's like blood is boiling in my veins rushing toward one centralized position in my body where an eruption of pleasure so intense happens that powerful tears wet my eyes and I can't stop them from flowing down my cheeks. I feel him start to slow when he sees my emotional state.

"Don't stop," I blubber. It's actually all I can get out at the moment. He picks up his pace again and hits a spot deep inside at just the right angle and another orgasm blazes through me like an out of control firestorm. I spasm around his length as he pistons in and out, tears uncontrollably streaming down my face. When I feel him tense behind me in his own blistering culmination, I'm seized by yet another rush of sensation so intense that I nearly pass out from the pleasure.

He pulls out of me immediately and gathers me up in his arms to hold me while I cry. He embraces me tightly and runs his hands through my tangled locks waiting for some semblance of normalcy to return to me. When the tears finally stop I lean back and look into his eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asks, wiping a few stray tears away. I nod, unsure that if I speak again that the tears will come back. "Can you tell me why you were crying?" I look into his concerned, loving eyes and l can feel tears gather again. "You don't have to tell me. It's okay." He holds me tight against his chest while one hand plays with my hair and the other one glides up and down my arm, giving me chills.

"I'm sorry," I finally say. "I really don't know what came over me. It was like I was hit in the chest by an emotional bullet. It's just that I love you so much and I'm so glad that I'm here with you like this. I couldn't catch my breath and then the tears came. I could blame it on the baby but I'm past the emotional rollercoaster of the first trimester and the third is still weeks away." He tightens his grip on me and places loving kisses along my jawline then kisses the sensitive spot beneath my left ear tenderly. "You felt _so_ good inside me tonight, Tobias. I love you so much."

"I love you, too. It's always wonderful being with you ... being inside you," he kisses my lips passionately, "but I will admit that this was one of our best times," he says kissing my forehead. "How many times did you come, love?" I blush as I gaze into his mischievous-looking eyes. He caresses my cheek as he gives me a smile so hot that it could melt glaciers.

"Three." Three emotionally altering releases.

"I thought so," he says with that smug look I love so much on his face. I shake my head at him.

"We still have a lot to work through, don't we?" I say. I bury my head in his chest unsure I will be able to get this out if I have to look into his eyes. "He..." I let the thought trail off until I can figure out how to say what I need to say. "You were right this morning about one thing. He took something from us. You said it was trust but that's not it for me. I trust you implicitly. I understand if you don't quite trust me fully." He starts to speak but I stop him. "Please just listen to me, Tobias. I need to get this out. I will earn back your trust if it is the last thing l do. I promise. For me though, he took the fact that I had only been with you away from us." My voice starts quivering. "I know it was technically … rape … because of the circumstances but it doesn't erase my memories of what led to it. I would like nothing more than to forget it ever happened but I know I can't."

"I wish I could take all your pain away," he says, a decipherable ache in his voice. "I wonder if memory serum could do that for you."

"Um, Tobias, what the _hell_ are you talking about?" I ask tipping my head back and looking into his eyes again.

"If administered correctly, it could erase any memory of what he did to you but leave everything else intact," he says. " _That's_ what memory serum is intended for. I could ask your father about it."

"I don't think it would work on me," I say. "You're forgetting my reaction to it. It would just make me sick and then I would remember, and to tell you the truth, I don't _ever_ want to be that sick again."

"I forgot about that," he says. "I'm sorry. Forget I ever mentioned it."

"What would we do, give memory serum to every person who knew Peter to erase him," I say. "That actually isn't a bad idea but you know we can't hide from what he did. We have to face it ... together."

"I know and I wasn't suggesting it to avoid what happened. I just wish I could take your pain away," he says. "Can I ask you something?" I nod at him. "Why did you ask me to make you my wife again? Love, I'm your one and only husband, and you are _my_ wife. You were never _his_ wife." I rest my head on his arm and look up into his eyes. They are shining in the moonlight that is flooding in our lonely window. I groan at his question.

"I didn't realize how marrying him really made me feel," I whisper, tears coming to my eyes again. "I know it wasn't a legal marriage so it technically never happened but he had us _get_ married instead of just telling me we were husband and wife so I would have that memory forever. I know he did. He knew that he couldn't get away with his plan forever so he did everything in his power to hurt me ... to hurt us. _Marrying_ him is what I feel guiltiest about." He wraps me up in his arms and kisses the tears that are flowing out of my eyes away.

"It's too bad someone killed him before the city could execute him," he says. "Now he's forever going to be known as a murder victim instead of a kidnapper and rapist."

"Part of me is relieved," I say. I can tell he has questions but he lets me continue uninterrupted. "I really didn't want to hear his explanation under truth serum. I don't need to know what was going on in his sick, twisted mind. Plus, I really don't want the entire city to look at _me_ as a victim, Tobias. I hate that _I_ look at myself that way."

"You're not a victim, Beatrice Grace Eaton," he softly says. "You are a _survivor_. You're stronger than you've ever been. I know we still have a ways to go but you're not a victim. We'll call Dr. Wilson tomorrow and ask for the number for the therapist he suggested. The sooner we start counseling the sooner we can forget Peter."

"Will we ever forget him and what he did?" I ask. The resolved look on his face wavers momentarily, and he looks almost sick.

"We may never forget the details of those three days but we will learn to live with what happened. We will become even stronger and better together," he says moving his mouth to mine for an emotional kiss. "I have faith in us. It won't be easy and may hurt like hell at time, but we _will_ get through this. I promise. And we will do it together because you are absolutely right, we have too much to lose."


	63. Chapter 63

Tobias and I quietly lie in each other's arms enjoying our post-coital bliss, talking a little and kissing a lot. We also allow unrestricted access of our bodies to each other. I love the feeling of this shared intimacy. I've missed it. We are on the verge of making love again when l hear Tessa fussing in the baby monitor. I sigh and give Tobias a tender kiss full of love and tell him to get some sleep, tomorrow is going to be a long, stressful day because of my interview at Candor. I maneuver myself out of his embrace and slide out of bed. I go to the closet and slide into my black silk robe and head out of our bedroom to feed the baby but l take a quick detour to the bathroom first. I reach my hungry little one just as she starts wailing loudly. I hope she doesn't wake up Tyler.

"Ssh, my baby," I say as I pick her up from her crib. She gets louder as I change her diaper. "I'm so sorry. Mommy was putting her own needs over yours. That's not being a very good mommy, is it?" She calms some when she's dry but it's been over four hours since she last ate, the longest she has ever went, and the tiny tears in her eyes break my heart. I sit in the rocker and she tries to latch onto my nipple through the silky material. I quickly move the robe to the side and she starts nursing vigorously. I start gently rocking us back and forth as her pace slows down. I don't want her waking up too much or she more than likely will be up for hours. When she pulls away from my nipple and doesn't seem interested in latching back on, I put her against my shoulder and softly pat her back. After a big burp, I switch to a light circular motion, and she lays her head on my shoulder within a minute. After about 10 minutes, l recognize the slow, steady rhythm of sleep and put her back in her crib. I place a soft kiss to her forehead then check on Tyler who is thankfully still sleeping peacefully in his room. I give him a kiss, pull his blanket up around his shoulders, and go back into my bedroom. I walk to the bed and see that Tobias is lying on his back with a contented look on his peaceful face, which makes me smile. I slip out of my robe and into a pair of pajamas then slide into bed and cuddle up beside him.

The quiet of the night is shattered by Tyler and Tessa who both start screaming loudly at the exact same time. Tobias and I jump out of bed and are in each of the kids' room trying to elicit what is wrong and calm them down when we realize someone is downstairs knocking at our door. I carry Tessa into Tyler's room and Tobias goes down to see who it is.

"Why don't you lie down and go back to sleep, buddy," I say.

"Who hewe?" he asks me, fear in his eyes. I pull him into my free arm, keeping a firm grip on Tessa with the other.

"I don't know, honey," I say caressing his head. "Daddy went downstairs to find out." I hear footsteps on the stairs and relax. "Who was at the door, Tobias?"

"Uh, it's me, Tris," Will says from the top of the stairs.

"Will, what are you doing? It's the middle of the night," I say. Suddenly something close to panic hits me squarely in the center of my chest. "Is Christina okay? Did she go into labor? It's a little early still."

"Christina's fine," he says from the doorway. "We're here for Four." I stare at Will unsure of what I just heard.

"What?" I as, furrowing my brows at him.

"Four was arrested and taken to Candor," he quietly says. "I can't talk about the specifics but he's in trouble, Tris. I volunteered to get your statement. I thought the news would be easier to take coming from me." He takes two giant steps toward me and takes Tessa out of my arms just before I lose all feelings in my extremities. This can't be happening. We are just reconnecting after was Peter and Marcus did to us. Tyler bursts out in tears, and I wrap my arms around him and hold him close. I do my deep breathing exercises in an effort to calm me. What I wouldn't give if I could start crying and have someone hold me while I fall apart right now.

"Can you wait for me downstairs, Will?" I softly say. "You can put Tessa in the bassinet in the living room. She looks like she will go back to sleep relatively easy. I'm not so sure about this one. I'll be down when I get him back to sleep." He meets my eyes with an apologetic yet pitying look and nods then turns and walks out of the room. I pick Tyler up and move to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. I sit down and start rocking him trying to get him to go back to sleep or relax at the very least. "It's going to be okay. I'll make sure of that." I run my fingers through his curls, trying to be strong for him. Once he cries himself to sleep, I put him back in bed. I kiss him on the head and pray that he'll sleep the rest of the night. I go back into my bedroom to retrieve my robe then go downstairs where the smell of coffee slaps me in the face. I check on Tessa who's fast asleep then sit down on the couch.

"I made some coffee. I hope you don't mind," he says, bringing me a streaming cup.

"Thanks," I say taking the much-needed mug of liquid comfort from him. "Please tell me what's going on. I deserve an explanation, Will. You can't just _arrest_ my husband and not tell me why. He's not a criminal, he's the leader of Dauntless."

"Without giving you any details, Four has been arrested for Peter's murder," he says. Even though I knew what was coming it still shocks me. How can they think he did this? "We did everything in our power to have the evidence lead us away from you guys but the deeper we dug the more it led straight to Four. We couldn't ignore what we found. He even said we were doing the right thing." That's my husband's selflessness showing.

"Answer me honestly, Will. Do you think Four would kill someone and leave evidence that leads the authorities straight to him?" I ask.

"No," he says. "He's obviously being set up but the question is by who?"

"I have no idea," I say. "But I'm going to find out, and they will pay."

"I know you're frustrated but you shouldn't talk that way. It could make things worse for him," he says. "I need your timeline from this morning, Tris. I've got to get it to Tori and Harrison as soon as possible."

"I'm not sure of exact times because I really wasn't paying attention. I had other things on my mind but I'll do my best," I say thinking back over my morning. "We woke up late for us, about 7:00 a.m. We had a fight, and he left somewhere between 7:30 and 7:45. Do you need to know everything I did when he wasn't here?"

"Yes, just to be thorough," he says.

"Okay. I fed Tessa then made breakfast at 8ish," I say. "After that Tyler and I watched a movie about ninja robots. It was a little over two hours long. He fell asleep, and I put him down for his nap. I nursed Tessa again around 11:30. Just as she finished, somewhere between 11:45 and 12:00, Tobias came home. He was with me until you guys came and told us the news about Peter's death." He has been diligently writing down everything I said. "Is that everything you need from me?"

"Yes," he says.

"Why was he arrested in the middle of the night?" I ask. "Couldn't you have done it in the morning? What was your hurry?"

"Think about it, Tris," he says. "No one except for us knows of his arrest. If people had been up and about, it would have been around the compound in two minutes flat. We were trying to protect him." He does make sense but I still don't like it.

"When can I see him, Will?" I ask, my calm demeanor starting to fade. I need him to go soon so I can fall apart in private. I don't need an audience. He pulls out his phone and texts someone.

"Tori says you can go to Candor at 9:00 a.m. to visit with him. His interrogation will be Tuesday also. I don't know if it will do any good but you have a fairly decent relationship with Jack Kang so maybe he will put Four's interrogation first. It's a thought."

"Do you need anything else from me?" l ask. "I hate to be rude but I would like to be alone."

"One thing. Did you ask where he was this morning while he was out?"

"No, I didn't," I say. "I was just glad to have him home." I want to scream that I didn't know he would need an alibi or maybe I would have.

"I'm really sorry about all this, Tris," he says. "I'll go now. I'll let myself out." He gets up and quietly leaves me to my misery. I lie back on the couch, too numb to move. Tessa and Tyler are both sound asleep so I give in to my despair and let the tears that have been gathering behind my eyes since Will made his announcement fall. The tears don't last long once rage starts to build in me.

Let's see. What do I know? I know that Peter is dead and whoever framed Tobias did well enough of a job to convince his fellow leaders of his guilt. I also know without a doubt that he did not do this. He wouldn't break such a profound promise. This isn't promising to put the toilet seat down. This is promising not to take himself away from me forever. No, he would never do that.

I close my eyes and manage to doze off. I sleep for about an hour and a half when Tessa wakes me up wanting to be fed. When I sit up on the couch, I see that Tyler is now sleeping on the love seat. I hope he didn't try to wake me and I didn't hear him. I cover him with the fuzzy dark gray throw then pick up Tessa and feed her. I'm giving her a bath in the kitchen sink when I hear Tyler wake up. When he approaches me I see that he looks miserable.

"Daddy home?" he asks, hopeful that I tell him what he wants to hear. I hate to have to break his heart.

"No, buddy, he's not," I say. "I don't know when he will he home. I hope tomorrow night but I can't make any promises. I'm going to call Grandma to come stay with you today."

"No," he whines. "No want you to go. What if you no come back?" My heart spasms painfully at his words. I quickly put him on the counter next to where Tessa is sitting in her little tub.

"Tyler, I have to go see Daddy. I have to figure out what is happening. Can you be brave for Mommy just like the big Dauntless boy you are?" He hangs his head and doesn't speak for a while. I let him sulk. I set him on his feet right before I finish Tessa's bath and put a clean diaper and outfit on her. I carry her into the living room and lie her on the floor with her soft-sided mirror so she can look at herself in front of the couch on one of her blankets for tummy time. "Come here, buddy." He softly pads over to me beings careful of his sister. "The next few days aren't going to be easy not having Daddy home so I need you to be a big boy and help Mommy with Tessa. Can you do that for me? Mommy is _really_ worried about your Daddy so I don't have room to worry about you and Tessa, too." I know I'll still worry but if he isn't brooding maybe it would be better.

"I be big boy," he says.

"Thank you, Tyler," I say hugging him closely. The knock on the door startles us all but at least this time there is no crying. I get up off the couch fully expecting to open the door to Christina only to find Zeke standing on the other side.

"Hey," he nonchalantly says. "I really need to talk to Four. I found something on the security footage. I don't know how we missed it." I don't know what the look on my face betrays but it must speak volumes. "What's wrong, Tris?"

"Um," I say, not sure if I should speak candidly in front of Tyler. "Wait for me in the kitchen, please." He goes to the other side of the island and leans up against the counter. I walk over by the TV and say, "How about I put a movie in for you, Tyler. Do you want to watch the other movie Daddy got you last night?" He nods his head up and down but his usual spark is absent. I hope it returns soon. It hurts my heart to have him this way. I wonder if this is how he looked when I was missing. I put the movie in the DVD player and turn it on. I turn the volume up a little louder than I normally do hoping it will drown out my conversation with Zeke. "Can I make a phone call really quick? I need a sitter today." He nods and I call my mom and ask if she's available to watch the kids today. She jumps at the chance to spend time with them and tells me she will be over within the hour, not asking why she's needed.

"What's going on, Tris?" Zeke asks. "You're kind of freaking me out."

"Do you want some coffee?" I ask.

"No more stalling," he says, his voice raised slightly. "Where's Four? You two didn't break up did you?"

"No, nothing like that," I say turning my back on him to make a fresh pot of coffee. "I'm sure you heard about Peter's demise yesterday. Nothing stays a secret in this place for very long."

"Yeah, I heard about it," he says. "Tori, Harrison, and Will came and asked me questions about it and had me pull the security footage but they wouldn't let me look at it first."

"They arrested him, Zeke," I say. "In the middle of the night. They came and took him away to Candor."

" _WHAT_?" he angrily says. I whirl around but Tyler isn't paying us any attention.

"Zeke, please keep it down," I whisper. "Tyler is freaking out about his dad being taken away. I just got him calmed down right before you came over."

"Poor little guy," he says, giving me an apologetic look. "He's gone through so much in the past month or so ... you all have. I'm sorry."

"What did you find on the security footage?" I ask trying to get my mind off of Tobias. "I assume this has something to do with that woman."

"Yeah, it does," he says. I just now notice that he's carrying a small stack of photographs in his hand. When I look at them closely, I see they are photo grabs from the security camera in the bar. He walks up beside me and spreads them out across the island. I pour myself a cup of coffee and offer him one but he declines. I take a couple swigs before I let him continue. I need caffeine to wake my brain up right now. "Four knows a little bit more about this because we've been working closely together on it for months. Basically we got a list of all the men who were admitted into the infirmary with intoxication-like symptoms from Dr. Parrish. Four also gave me a list of the men who reported missing funds from their accounts." I practically forgot about that detail. I guess I need to watch our accounts carefully now that Tobias has been victimized. "I checked the specific dates against the security footage until I found each one of the victims who were targeted in the bar and have them on camera being drugged, except for Four but I'm still working on it. Unfortunately, the angle of the camera isn't in our favor, and she always sits just out of its range like she knows where it is so we can't see her face.

"I've been studying the videos and photos daily, and I realized something last night, I've been concentrating on the woman and ignoring the rest of the photo." He takes a pen out of his pocket and circles something on every photo. I look them over carefully and see what he is talking about. At the table in the upper left-hand corner are the same two men standing at a pub-style table. The taller muscular guy has short wavy dark hair and Dauntless flame tattoos sticking out of the collar of his dark shirt and an intricate sleeve tattoo covering his right arm. The shorter, slightly stocky one has dark skin and dark hair, which is cut close to his head and a tattoo on this left arm that is hard to make out. In every shot, they are standing in slightly different positions but it's impossible to see their faces. My hand starts trembling as I realize who these two remind me of. The resemblance is staggering. "What's wrong?"

"I think these are the two who assaulted my father," I say. "Don't they look quite a bit like you and Four?" He picks up the photo closest to him and studies it closely.

"Yeah," he says. "They really do look like us. I hadn't even noticed until you pointed it out. Do they look familiar to you at all?" I pick up each of the 15 or so photos and study them for anything that looks familiar.

"There is absolutely nothing remarkable about these two. They are your typical-looking Dauntless members," I say. "I see each of them has tattoos. Maybe Tori would recognize the artwork." I'm handing the gathered photos back to him when I notice something on the woman's hand. I hold the picture up and study it closely. "Have you and Four ever noticed this on her wrist? It looks like a tattoo." He snatches the picture away from me and frowns at it for a moment.

"I don't see it," he says. I stand at his shoulder and point at her right wrist, which is spiking the drink of the unsuspecting man who is sitting next to her. He holds it a little closer and groans. "I bet they miss you at work. Neither one of us have seen this before. Hell, if you had been in on this investigation the whole time, we probably would know who she is by now."

"Can you make out what it is?" I ask. He spreads the photos out over the island again, and we look at her wrist in each picture.

"I think it's a four leaf clover," he says. I furrow my eyebrow and try to remember where I've seen that design before.

"Holy shit," I say, automatically diverting my eyes to my son who's so absorbed in the movie that there's no way he heard the profanity fall from my lips. "This is Nicki."


	64. Chapter 64

There is a delicate knock at my door at the exact same moment my revelation about Peter's friend, Nicki, flies out of my mouth. I cross the room and open the door to my mother who made it from Abnegation to Dauntless in record time. I tell her that I have some important business left with Zeke and that I'll give her an explanation of what's going on when we're finished. She graciously goes to the living room and picks Tessa up, who is on the verge of falling asleep and sits down next to Tyler who is happy to see his grandma but more interested in the dragon movie on the television.

"I don't know what triggered the memory but I remember catching a fleeting glimpse of her arm when she shook hands with me. She has a dark green outline of a four-leaf clover on the inside of her right wrist. I thought Four was trying to tell us she was the culprit the night he was drugged but unfortunately he wasn't making a lot of sense so we kind of shrugged it off as crazy drug talk. It's nice to have the confirmation."

"Who is this Nicki? Why would she be involved in your kidnapping _and_ the drugging of all these men in Dauntless?" he asks, slightly confused and more than a bit hesitant to accept my theory of what's going on. "And if these two are the ones who assaulted your father, why would they do it. What's their motive?"

"Four was mumbling about things being related and something about a death conspiracy. He said Nicki more than once. What if these people are the ones who framed Four for Peter's death?" I ask, my voice a full two octaves higher when I finally finish. Zeke stares at me mouth agape not saying a word. I replay my words over again in my mind. What I'm saying doesn't really make a lot of sense and there's no evidence. "I sound crazy, don't I?"

"Not exactly," he says. "Maybe you should run your ideas past Four, Will, Tori, and Harrison. I've got to get going, Tris. I need to take my findings to Tori now. Thanks for all your help."

"Thanks for taking my mind off things even if it was only for a little while," I say.

"You're welcome," he says. "Try not to worry. It's not good for you or the baby." I give him a big hug and a peck on the cheek. "Tyler, buddy, are you going to give me a hug and a kiss or are you going to break my heart?" He jumps down off the couch and runs into his honorary uncle's arms.

"Bye, Uncle Zeke," he says giving him a big bear hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I love you. Gotta watch movie now." That's my boy! He would rather watch a movie than do almost anything, except for the park. Zeke sets him on the floor, and he immediately goes back to his seat next to my mother.

"Later, Tris," he says then turns and walks to my door and leaves. Mom gets up and gently lies Tessa in the bassinet by the window. It's a dreary, rainy day so she won't be disturbed by the sun.

"Can you tell me what's going on, Beatrice?" she asks when she reaches my side. I offer her a cup of coffee, which she politely declines but I pour myself another one. We sit down on side-by-side barstools at the island, and I tell her everything that has transpired. Her expression doesn't change much, and she doesn't react to what's going on. She is so strong.

"Can I have you do me a big favor?" I ask. She smiles and nods at me. "Can you make breakfast? Tyler should have eaten by now. I'm so far behind today. Things just keep piling up on me."

"Of course, dear," she says reaching out and caressing my cheek. I give her a big hug and a peck on the cheek then go upstairs and take a much-needed shower. I want to stay under the relaxing hot water spray but I have too much to do today so I'm in and out in a matter of minutes like normal. I throw on a pair of yoga pants and a black maternity t-shirt with a crimson-colored heart on the front, tie my hair up into a messy bun, and put on a minimal amount of makeup. I don't do it to look good, I do it to give me some much-needed color in my cheeks. I go back into my bedroom, change the sheets, and make the bed. Then I go downstairs just in time for one of Mom's simple Abnegation breakfasts. It's a welcome comfort, especially this morning and even Tyler seems to enjoy it. After breakfast, I take him upstairs and give him a quick bath then get him ready for his day with Grandma and Tessa.

"Mommy has to leave soon," I say as I'm sliding his socks onto his little feet. "Are you excited that Grandma is here with you? She loves you nearly as much as I do." He lunges at me wrapping his arms around my neck, knocking me off balance. I have to put a hand on the floor to keep from going over backwards. "What's wrong, buddy?" He lets go of me and gives me a hopeful look.

"Wanna go see Daddy with you," he says with a heartbreaking pout on his face. I sigh. He could come with me. I've seen children visiting prisoners at Candor but I can't stand the thought of my son seeing his father that way.

"I'll make you a deal," I say. He intently looks at me hoping to get his way. "If Daddy doesn't come home tomorrow I promise that I will take you to see him. Okay?"

He looks at the floor for a minute then quietly says, "Otay."

"That's Mommy's good big boy. Can I get hugs and kisses?" I say. He puts his arms around my neck for a big hug while I wrap him up in squeezing hugs and place kisses all over his face. By the time I let him go, he is giggling up a storm. I pick him up and carry him downstairs. "Are you going to be good for Grandma?" He smiles the smile that stole my heart, and I give him another kiss and hug for good measure.

"I be good, Mommy. I pwomise," he says. "I love you."

"I love you too, buddy," I say. "To the moon and back but you know that."

"Yeah!" he giggles kissing my cheek. I hear Tessa in the bassinet and look at the clock. I should be leaving to get to Candor when visiting hours begin but feeding her is more important. I give Tyler another kiss then set him on his feet. The sight of him running to my mom and sitting on her lap while I pick up Tessa brings a smile to my face. I excuse myself and take her up to her room to feed her in private.

"Hi, Tessa," I say as I lay her down on the changing table. "Do you need your diaper changed?" She smiles her wide toothless grin at me, and I fall in love all over again. "Mommy loves you so much, little one." She coos at me while I put a clean diaper on her. I pick her up and cradle her in my arms, and I notice her familiar feeding cues so I sit in the rocking chair. "Are you hungry?" As if on cue she tries to shove her fist down her throat and gags. "I'll take that as a yes." I put her to my breast and once again marvel at how I am able to feed her when I'm not the one who gave birth to her. "Mommy loves you so much, little one. I'm going to do everything in my power to bring Daddy home and soon." When she finishes, I give her plenty of kisses as I take her downstairs. "Do you want to see Grandma?" She smiles at me as I hand her over to my mom. "Tyler, you be good for Grandma. Mom, I'm not sure when I'll be home."

"It's okay, Beatrice," she says. "I'll be here for as long as you need me. Go take care of your husband."

"I will," I say. "I'm leaving his cell phone with you. I'll call you to check up on the kids when I can. If you need anything from me at all, don't hesitate to call. Upstairs in Tessa's closet is a stroller if you want to take them for a walk or to the park down the street."

"Oh, pawk," Tyler says, his eyes lighting up. I can't help but grin at him.

"He _loves_ parks," I say. "There is also ice cream in the freezer. You can have _one_ scoop after lunch, Tyler. I've got to go. Thank you so much for doing this, Mom. I love you." She pulls me into her free arm and gives me a lingering hug then finally lets me go. I squat in front of Tyler. "Come give Mommy another hug and kiss." He rushes into my arms and wraps his arms around my neck, nearly cutting off my air.

"Tell Daddy I love him," he says in my ear.

"I will, buddy," I say. I get up and give Tessa another soft kiss on the forehead then make my way to the garage. When I enter the parking structure, familiar panic threatens to close off my windpipe. I take deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth, trying to calm my pounding heart. I wish Tobias was here of course then I wouldn't be going to Candor now, would I? I reach into my pocket for my keys and fumble trying to get them out, almost dropping them as I swiftly walk to the car, scanning my surroundings for danger the whole way. Thankfully, nothing happens. Once I'm locked in my car, my anxiety level lowers but doesn't totally dissipate. I carefully drive to the Candor sector and pull up in front of the Merciless Mart within 30 minutes. I immediately walk to the reception desk and ask to see Tobias. Instead of being escorted to the Dauntless holding cell to see my husband, I'm asked to wait for Jack Kang. I sit down in one of the small groupings of white leather couches in the lobby to wait. About 10 minutes later he comes out of a nearly hidden side hallway and straight to me.

"Good morning, Tris," he says. "Will you please come with me?"

"Where are we going?" I ask as I follow him to the elevator.

"My private office," he says.

"I came to see Four," I say. "I _really_ need to see him, Jack."

"Have patience, Tris. You will see him soon," he says. I sigh loudly as we exit the elevator onto the familiar top floor. I imagine this is the only place in the entire building I could find without an escort. I still wonder how everyone doesn't get lost. Every hallway looks identical … bright white painted walls and shiny black marble tile floors. He opens his office door then steps to the side to let me enter. I sit in the black leather wingback chair opposite his glass and white metal desk and wait for our unscheduled meeting to begin. "I want to go over tomorrow's schedule with you. There will be five interrogations tomorrow starting at 9 a.m.: Judge Robert Hansen, Porter Hayes, Ruth Hayes, Marcus Eaton, and Tobias Eaton."

"When will Four's interview be?" I ask. "Is it possible for him to go first? He didn't do what he's accused of. Plus he will want to hear the other interrogations and to tell you the truth, I'm going to need him by my side so that I don't fall apart."

"You are confident he didn't do it," he states. It's not a question. "What if you learn he killed the man who kidnapped you? What then?"

"He did _not_ kill Peter Hayes. Do you want to know how I know that? He promised me that he would never kill him. Four and I both know what would happen. He would be executed and I would be left a widow with two children and one on the way. I know him better than I know myself, Jack. He wouldn't jeopardize his relationship with his children, getting to meet our daughter when she's born, and throw away everything that we've been working so hard to build both in our personal and professional lives."

"You have that much faith in him?" he asks.

"My faith in him is unbreakable," I say, sincerity ringing loud and clear in my voice. "Can I see him now? I _need_ to see him."

"Okay," he says like he's humoring a whiny child. "I won't keep you from your husband any longer. I've arranged for you to meet with him in an empty office. Lunch will be served at noon and your interview, which will done without truth serum as promised, will start at 1:30 p.m. here in my office with Niles in attendance. If you would like, Four can accompany us also."

"Yes, I would like that very much," I say.

"Do you have any questions for me?" he asks.

"First, will Four and my interactions and conversations be monitored?"

"No," he says. "You will only be secured in the room."

"Locked in?"

"Yes."

"Okay," I say. "Second, how long do you think my interview will last? This isn't an experience I like reliving."

"I understand your hesitancy but we need your detailed account of the kidnapping," he says. "We will make the interview as short and painless as possible. I promise."

"I do appreciate that, Jack," I say. "Now will you _please_ take me to my husband?"

"Of course. Follow me." I get up from my chair and follow Jack down the hallway. I was expecting to go to a different level but obviously they are bringing Tobias to me. He opens a random door and says, "There's a small washroom in the back of the office. Like I said lunch will be served at noon. There's also a console table with water, juice, and pastries for your convince."

"Why the special treatment?" I ask. He looks up and down the empty hallway then leans in close to me. I automatically shrink back, and he moves back and gives me an apologetic look.

"Sorry. I don't believe Four did it," he says. "The evidence is … _too_ perfect. Every single detail leads straight to him. I've been doing this a long time, Tris. No one has ever been this sloppy. If he would have killed the man who took _you_ , I doubt anyone would know it. I'll leave you now." I enter into the sizeable yet homey-feeling office. It thankfully reminds me of Jack's office and not the judge's chambers so I'm not uncomfortable. I sit on the couch nervously waiting for Tobias. When the door opens I jump to my feet and straight into Tobias' arms. He holds me close, one arm around my waist and the other on the back of my head. He moves his mouth to mine and gives me a need-filled kiss.

"Are you okay?" I breathlessly ask, letting him go and looking up into his face.

"I am now," he says, gliding the back of his hand gently down my cheek. I close my eyes and lean into his tender, loving touch. "Are you okay? How are Tyler and Tessa? I hated to just leave this morning without a word but it was the right thing to do plus I wasn't given much of a choice." I take his hand and pull him to the couch. He sits down, and I sit next to him then we wrap ourselves in each other's arms.

"Tessa's fine. Once she calmed down from being woken up, she went right back to sleep. She was her happy-go-lucky self again this morning," I say with what must be a wistful look on my face. "Tyler is a totally different story. He's not happy. I had to beg him to be Mommy's big boy. He is so hurt and confused because you aren't home, and he's afraid I won't come back. I think I'm getting a taste of what you went through when I was missing." I cup his cheek and caress his worried face with my thumb. "As for me, _I'm_ pissed." He chuckles, and I give him a dirty look. "There isn't anything funny about this situation, Tobias Eaton."

"I wasn't laughing at you," he says. "Actually, I'm surprised by your reaction. I wasn't expecting anger. I was expecting tears to tell you the truth."

"I won't lie, I was overcome for a moment but the more I thought about the situation the angrier I got," I say. "What do you know? Have they told you anything or questioned you yet?"

"As you know, Tori, Harrison, and Will came to the door," he says. "Tori told me that all the evidence they collected in Peter's death led straight to me. They told me that they needed to arrest me. They apologized but I told them they were doing the right thing. They placed me into custody and brought me here. That is everything I know. They are waiting until tomorrow to interrogate me under truth serum."

"I know just as much as you do, except no one seems to actually _believe_ that you did this," I say, relief in my voice. "Just minutes ago, Jack even told me that he thinks you are being set up."

"Will told me that he was going to question you," he says. "How did that go?"

"All he asked for was a timeline from yesterday morning," I say. "It was difficult to give. I really wasn't looking at the clock. He did ask if I knew where you were yesterday, and I realized that I never asked where you went."

"First, I went to the control room to talk to Zeke," he says. "I wanted to see the footage of me at the bar from the previous evening, which he showed me. I talked to him for about an hour about the woman and asked him to scan the video to see if he could figure out where and when I was drugged." He has a faraway look in his eyes as he gives me his account from yesterday morning. "I thought about going to the training room next, which now I wish I would have. There are security cameras there. I'd have been on camera with an airtight alibi. But I went to the chasm instead to work through how I was feeling. I was down there until I came home."

"I guess I should have asked when you got home but I was just happy that you had finally come home and you were ready to talk," I say. "It didn't matter where you'd been."

"So, who do you think is setting me up?" he asks, getting up off the couch. He crosses the room to the console table. He pours himself a tall glass of ice water and downs it in three swallows. He pours another glass and offers it to me. I take a couple sips and notice him eying the pastries.

"Have one if you want." He picks up a sticky-looking roll dripping caramel and loaded with nuts and brings it back to the couch to share with me. "I have an idea on who might be behind this," I say around a mouthful of the gooey delicacy. "Nicki." He looks deeply into my eyes but there is nothing but love and concern on his face.

"Why do you think that?" he asks.

"Zeke came over this morning," I say. "He noticed something last night on the security footage of the woman. In the upper left-hand corner of every one of the photos are the same two men. After looking at them closely, I figured out who they reminded me of, you and Zeke. Zeke agreed once I pointed it out. I think they are the two men who assaulted my dad."

"What does this have to do with Nicki?" he asks, uncertainty in his voice and a bit of a frown on his face.

"There's more," I say. "Just as we were gathering the photo grabs up so he could go, I noticed something. There's a tattoo of a four-leaf clover on the inside of her right wrist." This news stuns him just as much as it did Zeke. "Seeing it jogged a memory from the day I met Nicki. She had the exact same tattoo in the same place. Tobias, she gave me such a funny look when we were introduced. It was like she was _daring_ me to remember my life. Is it possible we know her?"

"I don't think so," he says. "I have studied the composite Tori drew. She looks like every other girl in Dauntless. There's absolutely nothing special about her at all. If I _have_ met her, she left no impression on me whatsoever, and I've forgotten already."

"Okay, let's lay all the facts out on the table," I say. "First, this Nicki person is drugging men in Dauntless and stealing their money. We know this as fact. We have photographic evidence of her crimes. Second, she knows Peter. She helped him with my kidnapping on some level. This is fact also because I saw her when I was in Candor with _him_. Next, two Dauntless members who closely resemble you and Zeke from the back at least are seen with Nicki at the bar each time she finds a victim. Once again, we have photographic evidence. Lastly, two men matching the exact _same_ description as the men in the photographs assaulted my father."

"There is one more thing, Will and I went back over all the incident reports for the past two years, and her first reported victim was the night the initiate rankings were released last year," he says. "The proof is in the incident reports."

"You know, if we take out the drugging of the men, I would think that Nicki has some sort of a vendetta against me," I say with a sigh. "What can all this mean? And why would she kill Peter if she has been helping him all this time?"

"If she's the one who did it, it was to set _me_ up," he says. He gets up off the couch and starts pacing.

"Setting you up hurts me," I say. "If whoever did this gets their way, you are taken away from me."

"Motivation," he mutters.

"What?" I ask not understanding what he means.

"What's her motivation?" he says.

"I wish I knew," I say.

"Let me think," he says as he continues to pace. "Peter kidnapped you. He made sure to tell me that he had sex with you. Somehow she knew how I would react. She knew I would _want_ to kill him but wouldn't dare so she did it and framed me. Maybe you're right. Maybe we _do_ know her."


	65. Chapter 65

We look into each other's eyes thinking about everything we learned today. Nicki is _definitely_ the one behind the drugging's and she obviously helped Peter for some reason but we are still at a loss as to why she did any of these things. I may sound self-absorbed but I can't help but think her actions have something to do with me. Was I right? Do we know who she is? Now I have Tobias thinking that way but now I'm having doubts.

"Maybe it isn't that _we_ know _her_ ," I say. "Maybe it's because she knows us or _thinks_ she does." He gives me a questioning look. "Everyone in Dauntless knows who we are. I know that I'm getting to know more and more members around the compound by name and sight but there are numerous others that I've met and talked to for one reason or another and they leave my mind as quickly as they enter it. Perhaps she is one that we've talked to and she thought it meant more than it did."

"A stalker?" he asks disbelievingly. "Don't stalkers usually do things to the object of their obsession and not others?"

"I think she tried to kill my father," I say. "She helped a deranged asshole kidnap me. Then she killed him and set up my husband for it. It sounds like she is holding _something_ against me."

"You may be right," he says. "I just wish I knew who she was so we could stop her. She seems like the missing link to a lot of mysteries."

"What if it doesn't matter that you didn't kill Peter?" I murmur. "They will put you under truth serum and confirm their suspicions that you didn't do this but what if the evidence is so overwhelming that they ignore your interrogation? What if they take you away from me?" My breath comes quicker and my heart starts to race as panic-laced adrenaline courses through my veins.

"Hey, hey, hey! Calm down," Tobias says as he kneels down in front of me, his hands hovering like they do when he doesn't exactly know how he can help me. "You're going to make yourself pass out if you keep this up. They can't punish me if I didn't do anything wrong, Tris. It would be unethical."

"What if they don't care?" I ask, the dread increasing noticeably. "People from this faction helped Peter deceive me. What if one of them wants us punished for his death. I can't live without you." I lunge at him, nearly knocking him backwards. My mouth lands on his, and I kiss him aggressively. "What if last night was the last time we got to make love? I couldn't stand it, Tobias."

"Tris, love," he says putting his hands on both sides of my face and staring deeply into my troubled eyes. "You need to calm down or I'm going to call Jack in here and have you taken to the hospital and sedated. Do you understand me?" I draw in an uneasy breath trying to calm my heart, which is racing like a wild horse violently galloping freely across an open plain.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I know I'm overreacting but I can't help it. I'm scared. I know I'm Dauntless and I'm supposed to be fearless but I can't stop thinking about losing you."

"You're _not_ going to lose me," he says pulling me into his arms. I clutch onto him with all my might. It seems like we've had to deal with one terrible thing or another since the beginning of our relationship, and I for one am sick of it. I let go of Tobias and get up. I stand in one place not knowing what I should do before realizing I have to go to the bathroom. Darn pregnancy side effect. I can't stay out of that room for very long. When I'm finished, I wash my hands then stare in the mirror, not quite seeing myself. I close my eyes, slowly inhale deeply through my nose, exhale through my parted lips then open my eyes. Tobias is standing directly behind me with an odd expression on his face. "Remember the last time we were in a bathroom at Candor?" I close my eyes again, letting the memories wash over me. When I feel his hands on my waist a smile turns up my lips.

"Of course, I remember," I say as I open my eyes. He turns me so that I'm facing him and lifts me up to sit on the cold black-veined white marble countertop between the deep porcelain sinks. He puts his hands on my knees and slowly glides them up to rest on my upper thighs. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to ease your fears," he says. "Last night won't be the last time we make love. I'll make love to you right now and again when we get home tomorrow night. What do you say?"

"Mr. Eaton," I roughly ask, "are you trying to distract me?"

"Maybe," he says, running his hands around my hips and drawing me closer to him. He puts his mouth right under my left ear, kissing gently and lightly licking the responsive skin. "Is it working?"

"We got away with it last time," I breathlessly say. "We might not be so lucky this time."

"No one will know," he says, still teasing my extremely sensitive ear. "It's unlawful to put surveillance in a bathroom. But we don't have to do anything. We can go into the other room, sit on the couch and talk, and forget this ever happened _or_ I can make love to you." He presses his lips directly against my left ear sending a shiver down my spine. "Don't you want me?" Oh, God!

"You're killing me, Tobias," I say finally giving in to the delightful feelings he's stirring in the pit of my stomach. I grab his head and pull his mouth to mine and kiss him ferociously. He puts his hands on my waistband and pulls my yoga pants and boy shorts off in one fluid motion. He gently picks me up, carries me across the room, and lies me down on the black crushed velvet fainting couch. He kneels over me and kisses his way down my body until he settles between my parted legs.

"We don't have a lot of time but you deserve some special treatment," he says as he kisses the inside of my thigh. "Just lie back and enjoy, love." He kisses each of my thighs then moves up and places a gentle kiss on my belly while he wraps his arms around my legs, holding me in place. He winks at me cockily and dips his head down. My heart starts beating erratically, my mouth goes dry, and my breath comes quicker just thinking of what's to come. When his tongue darts out of his mouth and moves up and over my throbbing nubbin, I moan loudly. He teases a little, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves relentlessly. My back arches of its own accord, and I tightly grip the edges of the chaise when he quits the sweet prolonged torture and draws my nubbin into his mouth and alternates between lightly licking, sucking, and nibbling it. After a spasm of pure pleasure, he starts making love to me with his hot, wet tongue.

"Oh my God!" I say as I grab his head and pull his mouth even closer to my moist heat. " _Tobias_ , please don't make me wait. I'm dying here."

"Whatever you want, love, it's yours," he says tightening his grip on my thighs.

"I want to come, Tobias," I moan. He nibbles on my nubbin eliciting a gasp from deep in my throat. He glides his tongue down the very edge of the sensitive flesh then concentrates on pushing me over the edge by lapping at my nubbin enthusiastically with the lightest of touches. I try to maintain my composure and not make a lot of noise but it's becoming increasingly difficult. Every muscle in my body tenses as I try to raise my hips closer to his incredible tongue.

"Oh … Oh … _OH_ … OH _SHIT_!" I scream as I barrel over the edge. Tobias quickens his pace as I ride a wave of pleasure so strong I collapse onto the fainting couch trying to catch my breath. Tobias stops the light dancing on my nubbin and kisses my womanhood before he leans up over me on one arm. He undoes his jeans and pushes them down. I grab his hard shaft and place him at my entrance.

"Are you sure this is okay?" he huskily asks.

"Yes," I breathlessly say gliding my glove-like fist up and down his hard manhood. "Just don't press on my tummy. Stay up on your arms." He moves his mouth to mine for a kiss and puts an uncomfortable pressure on my abdomen and I flinch.

"This isn't going to work," he says moving away from me and helping me to my feet. Sadness bubbles up in me thinking that our tryst is over when he comes up behind me. "Put your hands on the counter." I meet his lust-filled eyes in the mirror and feel his powerful need pressing against my fevered skin. I take a step forward, bending at the waist and put my hands on the counter, looking at him the entire time. He steps up behind me and puts his hands on my hips, caressing the bare flesh gently. I watch his movements in the mirror and feel desire spear straight through me. I kind of feel like a voyeur. He bends his knees to closer match my height, molds his body to mine, lines himself up with my opening, and enters me in one powerful thrust. My head rolls back and rests on his shoulder as I enjoy his long, deep, slow strokes. He places his lips on my neck, and I reach back with one hand and cup his head. He wraps his arms snugly around me, placing one hand on my aching breast, kneading softly and his other on my throbbing bundle of nerves, stroking in a slow circular motion. We increase the pace slightly, and he puts his lips against my ear. "I love you."

"God, I love you, too," I say catching his eye in the mirror. I lower my eyes and watch him sliding effortlessly in and out of me, and I feel my body temperature rise even further. I've watched him make love to me before but this is different. This seems … naughty, forbidden and, if I'm being completely honest, it's turning me on like crazy. I turn my head toward him, and he knows what I'm seeking. His lips crash into mine, and he kisses me fervently as our bodies collide into one another at a dizzying pace, sprinting toward shared bliss. We break our kiss and stare into each other's eyes in the mirror. "I'm so close." He moves his hands and places them over mine. We lace our fingers together, never taking our eyes off one another.

"I like watching us," he pants with his mouth pressed up against my ear. "I can tell you do, too." That's all it takes. Uncontrollable, shuddering contractions rapidly move through my body, and I involuntarily clench down on his pistoning length causing him to bury his head in my neck and release his life-giving seed into my tight, wet womanhood. After our labored breath and racing hearts slow, he backs away from me and pulls up his boxer briefs and fastens his jeans. He bends over and retrieves my yoga pants and boy shorts from where he tossed them and hands them to me. While I'm cleaning myself up, Tobias erases all evidence we might have left behind. He finishes just as I'm pulling my pants back on. We go back into the office without a word and sit down on the couch.

"Thank you," I say, cuddling into his side.

"You never have to thank me for making love to you," he says, kissing my temple. "It's part of my job description as your husband."

"Well, you're pretty good at it," I say with a chuckle. "Maybe you should ask for a raise." He joins me in laughter but there is a slightly naughty look in his eyes.

"Love, you already give me a raise every time I think about you," he says putting his mouth on my neck. His innuendo makes me blush. He moves his mouth to mine and kisses me, not too slowly but not too aggressively either. It's just right.

"So what is it with us and Candor bathrooms?" I ask, still blushing when he pulls his mouth away from mine. "By the way, we just crossed off another place on my list."

"Really?" he says looking at me with fascination lighting his face. "We already made love here."

"I know but all the factions are on my list so even if we have made love someplace before, we get to mark them off again," I say. "It's a bonus."

"Ah," he says with a smile. "As for Candor bathrooms, I think it has to do with the emotions of the situation that bring us together. If I remember correctly, the first time we were worried that we could have been taken away from each other. It's basically the same thing this time. The pain of losing you is unfathomable. I know, I lived through it." He moves his mouth back to mine and kisses me passionately.

"I have to ask you something. How could you tell I liked watching us?" I breathlessly ask when he pulls away, my cheeks going red. He smiles mischievously at me, the devil dancing in his eyes.

"Your eyes dilated further," he says. Hhm? I didn't even think about _my_ eyes dilating. I wonder what I look like through his eyes when we are making love. "An odd look crossed your face and then you got more … enthusiastic." I blush deeper and he shakes his head then lightly kisses my lips. "I love that you still blush when we talk about sex." This comment makes me blush even deeper still.

"I don't know why I still blush so easily, Tobias," I say, feeling my body temperature rise. "I think that I might always feel some embarrassment no matter how familiar we are with one another."

"That's alright," he says. "I think I would miss it if it ever stopped." He runs his hand down my blood-filled cheeks. "Your blush is very sexy." I turn to look up into his face.

"Everything about you is sexy to me," I say.

"Really?" he says with a stimulating grin that takes my breath away.

"Tobias, I need to ask you another question. What do I look like when we are making love?" I quietly ask. A low, guttural moan escapes from the back of his throat, and my tummy tightens at the sound.

"You are extremely beautiful when you give yourself to me," he gruffly says. "It's foreign yet familiar each time. You close your eyes and bite down on your bottom lip right before you come." My eyes widen at his answer. I had no idea I did either one of those things. "Your lips become more ... _pouty_ when you are really turned on. Your eyes start out a stormy bluish-gray, darker than your everyday normal color but are a full gray by the time you come. You usually have a look of a ... it's so hard to describe ... _blissful ache_ on your face. I don't know if that is the best way to describe it but it's the only thing I can come up with. That look is why I worry sometimes that I hurt you. It borders on pain. You have a hard time catching your breath, and your chest heaves with exertion. Your body moves in perfect time with mine. It's like we are extensions of one another. Being with you is so easy and being inside you is unlike any other feeling I have. You're silky smooth and tight as hell, almost like a second skin. You give me such pleasure that all I want to do is return it to you."

"Wow," I say darting my tongue out of my mouth to moisten my lips. I can tell by the expectant look on his face that he would like to know how he looks to me. I smile at him then lower my eyes. Yet another blush colors my cheeks, and I feel his silent laughter move both our bodies. "Your eyes darken until they are nearly black with desire when we make love. There's always a very single-minded look in them, like you are determined to make each time our best time. You close your eyes and your face twists in pain at the moment you come but the instant before that you look ... _euphoric?_ You're right, it's hard to describe. I've never tried to put what I see and feel into words. Your ragged breath usually comes in short, rapid pants between your moist, parted lips. When it rushes over my skin, it feels like a silky caress and it increases my pleasure even more. Your hands are slightly rough but always extremely gentle to the touch and, Tobias, you _know_ how to use them. I'm really enjoying the new positions we're having to try to accommodate my belly but I miss being able to take your weight. It's one of the best parts of you making love to me. You cover me with your body, and I feel safe and secure like there's nothing out there in the world that could ever possibly hurt me." We are quiet for a moment letting the new information sink in.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you, too," I say. "Do you ever miss the sexual tension we had before our first time?" He stares across the room for a minute before answering.

"Absolutely not," he says. "That was an … _uncomfortable_ time for me." He gives me a sheepish smile and blushes slightly, which brings a smile to my face. Embarrassment can still touch him, too. "I like being able to touch you, look at you, make love to you any time I want or I should say any time _we_ want." There's a knock on the door that startles us both, and a young red-haired, freckle-faced girl dressed in standard Candor black and white brings in a tray full of food and deposits it on the console without a word. Since this is a Monday, she must be older than she looks or she would be in school.

"Thank you," I say. She looks at me with wide, frightened green eyes and rushes out the door. "I wonder what that was all about."

"I'm sure she knows I'm a prisoner, and she was just scared," he says.

"Who could be scared of you?" I ask then amend myself. "Okay, there are a lot of people who are frightened of Four. Thankfully _you_ aren't Four." He chuckles.

"I know what you mean," he says kissing me softly before he gets up to retrieve our plates of cheeseburgers, potato salad, vegetable salad, and fresh strawberry shortcake with freshly whipped sweet cream. Tobias gives me the much-needed food then sits next to me on the couch. We eat quickly then set the plates back on the console table. "What time is your interview?"

"It's at 1:30 in Jack's office. He told me that Niles will be joining us," I say.

"That means we have an hour until someone will knock on that door," he says.

"An hour for what?" I say suddenly in a teasing mood. "Were you wanting to take a nap?"

"Well this couch _is_ a nice size," he says pushing me onto my back and lying beside me on his side. "When's the last time we had an uninterrupted hour to lie in each other's arms cuddling and making out."

"Ooh! That sounds nice," I say meaning it, "but I think we should check on the kids first."

"That's a good idea," he says. I take the phone out of my pocket and dial Tobias' number. My mom answers on the second ring and tells me the kids are both doing well and are asleep at the moment. Tobias and I are both a little sad that we missed Tyler. I tell mom that I will call again when I'm on my way home then I let her go.

We tangle our limbs together, and I draw his mouth to mine after I put the phone away. We start out with soft, tender, lingering kisses that build in intensity until we want to tear each other's clothes off then let the passion dissipate until it is just simmering beneath the surface. He runs one hand all over my body while the other one is around my neck gently cupping the back of my head. We are letting the passion build again to great heights when another knock on the door interrupts us. We try to sit up before the door opens but Jack walks in before we manage. My face automatically goes bright red, and I'm momentarily reminded of Tyler walking in on us during the act.

"Ah, newlyweds," he says with a tsk as he shakes his head. "Are you ready for your interview, Tris?"

"I am," I say, getting up off the couch. Tobias joins me and takes my hand. We go into the hallway then follow Jack to his office, stealing sideways glances at each other as we go. Within minutes Tobias and I are sitting side-by-side in the matching leather chairs, holding hands.

"Like I told you earlier, there will be no truth serum administered because of the potential harm to your baby," Jack says. "This is a very unusual situation for us. We rely so heavily on truth serum that we're not sure how this will all play out. I'm sure you will be honest and forthcoming with us."

"That is my intention," I say. "Please, can we just get this over with?"

"We'll try to make this quick," Jack says. "Please tell us what happened from May 23 through the 25th." The room is eerily silent as I work up the nerve to tell my story. I look toward Jack and Niles and see expectation on their faces. They are used to witnesses being compelled to answer immediately or be subject to the fiery serum running through their veins. I look at Tobias, and he squeezes my hand tenderly.

"Tell them what happened," he softly says, true love radiating from his shining eyes. "I'm here for you every step of the way and, remember, he can't hurt you anymore." I smile at him then turn my attention back to my interrogators. I slowly relay every detail from the time the hand went over my mouth after I got out of my car in the garage Monday afternoon until Tobias found me in the hospital Wednesday morning. They both take notes the entire time I talk so I am spared looking in their faces. When I'm done, I meet Tobias' eyes, and he wipes away a tear that escaped down my face. "I'm proud of you. You are _so_ strong." He's the tough one, constantly subjecting himself to that story. I know it isn't easy for him either.

"Thank you for being so candid about what Peter Hayes did to you. I know talking about it must be difficult," Niles says. "We have a couple things we need to go over with you." They go over my statement line by line making sure they didn't misunderstand the meaning behind any of my words but I also think it's to see if my story changes at all. Within an hour they seem satisfied and ready for the interrogations tomorrow.

"I'm afraid that Four is going to have to go back to Dauntless' holding room," Jack says.

"Can't he come home with me?" I plead. "He will be here in the morning. I promise."

"Tris, love, no," Tobias says. "Jack, Niles, can we have a couple minutes alone?" Jack nods and they get up and leave us alone in his office. Tobias kneels down in front of my chair. He cups my face between his large hands and I lean into his touch. "They can't just let me go. I was arrested. It wouldn't be fair to the other prisoners. Remember it's just for one night. This will all work out. I promise. Go home and be with the kids. They need you, too. I'll leave here with you tomorrow night." I wrap my arms around his neck and hold onto him tightly.

"I love you, Tobias," I say into his ear as the door opens. He helps me to my feet then he leans over and gives me a tender kiss not caring about our audience.

"I love you, too, Tris," he says, caressing the side of my face. "Kiss Tyler and Tessa for me. Tell them that Daddy loves them. I promise, I'll be home with you tomorrow night."


	66. Chapter 66

Immediately after Tobias is taken from Jack's office, I'm escorted to the lobby by the same young girl who brought us our lunch. She must have been scared of Tobias because she chats cordially with me on our travels through the Merciless Mart. I thank her when I reach the familiar entrance to Candor's headquarters. I call Mom and tell her I'm on my way as I walk to my car, which has been parked in the heat of the warm spring day since early this morning. I roll all the windows down and let the hot air blow through my hair, clearing my head. I don't like the fact I'm going home without Tobias but I'll get through this. Within a half-an-hour I pull into our parking spot in the garage then, being ever vigilant of my surroundings, make my way up to my apartment.

"Mommy!" Tyler says, running to me when I walk through the door. I pick him up, hug him close to me, and kiss his cheek time and again. "I miss you!"

"I missed you, too, buddy," I say. He looks behind me and frowns.

"Daddy home?" he asks.

"No, buddy. He had to stay at Candor," I say brushing the hair out of his eyes. I think it's time for a haircut. "He told me to tell you that he loves you very much and he will see you soon." I look toward the couch, and my mom is sitting there smiling at me. "Hi, Mom."

"Hello, Beatrice," she says. "How is Four?"

"He's good considering," I say. "He's confident he's coming home tomorrow."

"You don't sound too sure of that," she says. I sigh and sit Tyler on his feet and walk to Tessa's bassinet. She's sleeping peacefully, not a care in the world. I would love to pick her up so I could hold her but I don't want to disturb her. She'll be up before I know it. I sit down on the opposite end of the couch, and Tyler happily crawls up onto my lap. I wrap my arms around him, and he snuggles closely to me.

"I'm confident he didn't do anything wrong," I say. "I'm probably worrying about nothing but I'm scared the evidence will outweigh the truth." I don't finish the thought. I don't want to worry Tyler needlessly.

"Candor can't do anything to him if he's cleared under truth serum so stop worrying," she firmly says. I know she's right but my life isn't complete without Tobias and the thought of losing him does strange things to me.

"How were the kids today?" I ask needing to get my mind onto a happier subject. "They didn't give you any trouble, did they?" I kiss Tyler's head again.

"They were angels," my mom says. Tyler giggles knowing he's the subject of our conversation, and I tighten my grip on him. "I hate the circumstances but I love that I got to spend time with them today. Tessa is growing so fast. She smiled at me today. And Tyler here is such a good boy. Can you tell Mommy what we did today?" His eyes light up, and he smiles brightly.

"Went fo walk to pawk with Tess and Gwamma. Ate chicken and veggies fo lunch. Took nap. Wake up. See you," he says with a heartwarming smile. I chuckle at his story.

"Did you have fun with Grandma?" I ask. He nods his head up and down.

"Well, Beatrice, I need to be getting home," she says.

"You could stay here tonight," I say. "I'm going to need you again in the morning if you aren't busy."

"I will come back in the morning," she says. "What did I do to deserve two days in a row with my sweet grandkids?" I notice tears sparkling in her eyes. "But I want to go home to your father. We've only spent a handful of nights apart from each other over the past 20 years, mainly when he goes to Amity for business." I nod my head at her. It was the same for Tobias and me until last week. I shake off the negative feelings. "I made enough lunch so that you can just warm up leftovers for supper so you don't have to cook."

"Thank you so much for helping out today," I say. "I truly appreciate it. I have something for you." I whisper in Tyler's ear, and he smiles brightly at me. We get up off the couch and go to the rarely used cabinet in the kitchen where my wedding photos are stored. Tobias and I looked through them when I came home from the infirmary last week to jog my memory. The photos are remarkable. I framed a couple prints for my mom and dad in a simple collage frame. Hopefully she will like it. I hand the gift to Tyler and tell him to be very careful with it. He slowly walks from the kitchen to the living room and hands the frame to my mom.

"This fo you, Gwamma," he says. She turns the frame over in her hands, and I hear a barely audible gasp escape her lips. When she turns her head toward me she has a couple tears running down her face. I sit down beside her and she draws me into her arms, and Tyler crawls up on the couch on the other side of her and tries wrapping his arms around her.

"This is priceless," she says as she lets me go. She then leans over and kisses Tyler on the top of the head.

"I hope that you feel comfortable displaying it but if you don't, I totally understand," I say. The three of us look at the very simple dark-gray painted wooden frame with a large print of my parents, Caleb, and me taken at my wedding. I honestly didn't remember sitting for this portrait but there was so much going on that day. When I looked at the pictures, I didn't remember over half of them being taken. On the right side of the family portrait is a shot of Caleb and Cara, which was also taken at our wedding. They are sitting side by side with their heads touching, smiling brightly out of the photo. A picture of Tobias and me sits right below theirs and has us looking very much in love. I elected to use a shot of us smiling as we cut our wedding cake. Directly below the large family picture are single pictures of Tyler and Tessa. He's dressed in his tuxedo smiling up into the camera while he's eating a slice of wedding cake. There's actually some frosting in the corner of his mouth. The only picture that wasn't taken at the wedding was of Tessa who, of course, wasn't even born yet. One day late last week I dressed her in a simple red sleeveless dress covered in big black polka dots and a new headband with a bow made from a similar-looking red and black dotted fabric. I laid her on her tummy on a fluffy white blanket in the middle of the island and took a picture of her while she was holding her head up with a sunny smile on her face. It looks like she was at the wedding also because of the coloring.

"I will talk to your father but I would love nothing more than to display this in our home," she says. "This is such a lovely gift."

"Don't think of it as a gift," I say. "Think of it as a visual representation of a memory." She smiles brightly at me and nods her head slightly.

"I should really be going," she says grasping the frame tightly and getting up.

"Here take this," I say giving her the canvas bag the collage came in so she can carry it home. "If you don't want to keep the bag, you can bring it back tomorrow. I have to be at Candor early. Four's interrogation starts at 9 a.m. I can't miss it."

"I understand," she says giving me another hug. "I will see you in the morning. I love you, Beatrice."

"I love you, too, Mom," I say.

"Tyler, I will see you tomorrow," she says.

"Bye, Gwamma," he says holding his arms up to me. I pick him up, and he leans over and gives my mom a hug. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she says. We walk her to the door and watch her disappear down the stairs while we are waving and saying goodbye. The sound of a door opening startles me until I see Christina step out into the hallway.

"I thought I heard you," she says. "Can I come over?"

"Of course," I say.

"How's Four?" she asks as she follows me back in to my apartment and sits down in the oversized club chair. She's looking more and more uncomfortable these days, which doesn't surprise me. She's only 15 days away from her due date.

"Does everyone in the compound know about his arrest?" I ask, putting Tyler down then sitting on the couch. Tyler gets a couple puzzle books off the shelf by the door and sits at the foot of the stairs to play.

"No, they don't," Christina says. "It's been kept under wraps. Not even our friends know about it."

"That's good. He's actually doing very well by the way," I say. "Candor allowed us to spend the day together."

"Is he angry with Will?" Christina cautiously asks.

"No, not at all," I say. "He knows that Will, Tori, and Harrison were just doing their jobs. We're confident he'll be home tomorrow night."

"You don't exactly look like you mean that," she says. Damn, I was hoping I was a better actress than this.

"I'm just needlessly worrying," I say. "He'll be home tomorrow night."

"I have something to tell you," she says. "It's about Shauna."

"Is something wrong with Shauna?" I ask, confused.

"She was out checking patrols today near Erudite when a couple Dauntless guards found her unconscious," she says, uneasiness on her face. "She apparently had been hit in the back of the head. They immediately carried her to the infirmary, and when she woke up she had no memory at all of today. Dr. Parrish found that to be highly suspicious so he ordered a blood test. He was right to be apprehensive. It came back positive for the GHB derivative just like all those men."

"Is she okay?" I ask worried about my friend.

"Docs keeping her overnight in the infirmary because of the bump on the head," she says. "She would he home now if it weren't for that. Her parents, Lynn, Hector, and Zeke are with her right now. Lynn says she's feeling good but she's just frustrated because she can't remember anything." I can relate to that.

"Have they found any witnesses?" I ask, suddenly finding myself in leader mode for the first time in ages.

"I really don't know any other details than that," she says. "I probably should be going. I swear I'm only comfortable in bed with pillows propping everything up." She runs her hands over her swollen abdomen. "Something for you to look forward to." She struggles to get out of the deep chair so I get up and offer her a hand. She grasps it and I help her up. She gives me a hug, tells Tyler bye, and heads across the hallway.

I glance toward the bassinet and see Tessa moving around. I carefully pick her up and sit down in the club chair just abandoned by Christina and hold her close to me. She seems very content to just snuggle up against my chest at the moment. After a short while I can tell she's getting hungry so I put her to my breast and she impatiently nurses. When she finishes, I put her in the swing and go into the kitchen and put a thin-crust pepperoni pizza with extra cheese in the oven then throw a tossed salad together. I play with Tessa and Tyler while we're waiting for the timer to go off. After supper, while Tessa sleeps, Tyler and I watch his favorite movie then I get the kids ready for bed. I have a hard time getting Tyler to stay in his own bed so I finally give in and let him sleep with me. I also put Tessa in her bassinet so we're all in one room. I don't know if it helps them, but I feel better.

I wake up early and take advantage of the fact that the kids are still asleep and take a longer than normal shower. I quickly get dressed, style my hair, and put on light makeup then head back into my bedroom. Tyler is still asleep but Tessa is awake, cooing at nothing in particular. When I look down at her she gives me a bright smile. I carry her into her room so I can feed her then I get her ready for the day. I peek into my room and see that Tyler's still asleep. I leave him be and carry Tessa downstairs so I can make breakfast. I elect to put her in the swing instead of the bassinet because she's still wide awake and set the timer. She smiles as the seat starts to gently sway back and forth. The mouth-watering smell of sausage, pancakes, and warm maple syrup waft throughout the apartment, and before I know it Tyler comes into the living room sniffing the air.

"Good morning, buddy," I say. "Are you hungry?" He eagerly bobs his head up and down. I pick him up, give him a big hug and kiss, and put him in his booster chair at the island. I make him a plate then one for myself and sit down to eat the delicious breakfast. Tobias' cooking techniques must be rubbing off on me. This batch of pancakes is just as good as his. I'm putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher when Mom knocks on the door.

"Gwamma here, Gwamma here!" Tyler chants as I walk to the door.

"Hi, Mom," I say as I open the door.

"Whoa! I must be having an exceptionally bad hair day this morning if I look like your mom," Will say. I grin at him embarrassedly.

"Sorry," I say. "I'm expecting my mom any minute. Come in."

"You not Gwamma," Tyler says disappointedly.

"Tyler Aaron, you be nice," I sternly say and he pouts a little.

"Sowwy, Will," he says. "Just wanna see Gwamma."

"It's alright, kiddo," Will says, ruffling his hair. "I came to talk to your mom for a minute if that's okay." Tyler gives his consent then goes back to the living room to play.

"Sit down. Would you like a cup of coffee?" I ask.

"No. Thanks for the offer though," he says. "I don't want to take up much of your time. I know you're going to have a busy day. Christina told me she talked to you about Shauna. I just wanted to let you know she came home this morning. She's going to be okay. You'll want to see this." He hands me his phone with a video ready to play. I press play and watch the images dance across the screen. Shauna turns to go down a blind corner, stops in her tracks, and reaches for her sidearm. A tall dark figure runs up behind her, hits her in the head, and she falls to the ground in a heap. Then two other people join the first. What looks like a woman kneels over Shauna and does something to her head but because of the angle of the camera and the positioning of the people, I can't see exactly what. Two of the figures, one taller than the other, turn and disappear around the corner. The woman, however, walks back the way Shauna came. She glances up at the camera with a smirk on her face, and I'm taken aback.

"It's Nicki," I say. The muffled knock on the door makes us both jump. Tyler runs to the door before I can react and opens it to my mom. "Tyler, you should wait for Mommy to open the door. What if it hadn't been Grandma?" His bottom lip starts to quiver.

"You should listen to your mother," my mom says. "None of us want anything to happen to you." He bursts into tears, and I take a deep breath. It's been ages since he's acted like this.

"I want my _daddy_ ," he cries. Oh, my poor boy.

"Just a minute, Will," I say getting up from the island. I cross to the door and pick him up. He wraps his arms tightly around my neck, and I hold him close trying to comfort him.

"I know you miss your daddy," I quietly say in his ear. "I do, too. You'll see him tonight." He lifts his head up and looks at me through tear stained lashes. "I promise."

"Tris," Will says at the same time my mom says, "Beatrice," cautioning me. I look at them and shake my head.

"He will see his father one way or another tonight." I may regret it later but I _will_ keep my promise. Tyler will see Tobias if it's the last thing I do. He shouldn't be punished because someone is targeting his parents. "But you can't answer the door yet. You're too little, buddy. Do you understand?" He nods his head at me.

"Sowwy, Mommy," he says laying his head on my shoulder.

"I know you are," I say giving him a big hug. "I love you so much. Don't ever think I don't just because I scold you. I do it because you are very important to me." I kiss him on the cheek then sit him on his feet and go back to Will. "I'm sure you suspected it before you came here but I'm confident that woman in the video is Nicki. I wish the men's faces would have been caught on video also. At the end, does it seem like she looked at the camera on purpose?"

"Yeah, actually it does. We thought the same thing but it's nice to get your take on it," Will says. "Tori and Harrison wanted me to get your opinion of the video. Why do you think Shauna put her hand on her gun?"

"One of two things I would imagine," I say. "Either she saw a crime being committed or she recognized Nicki from the composite drawing."

"Now that we know exactly what she looks like we can stake out the bar and nightclub," Will says.

"Don't forget to have them look for her accomplices also," I say. "They're just as big of a part of this as she is. I know we aren't 100% certain about that, just call it my gut instinct."

"Thanks for your help, Tris," Will says. "Tell Four that Christina and I are thinking about him. Tori, Harrison, and I aren't coming to his interrogation at his request. He said he'd rather have us trying to figure out the truth and looking for Nicki."

"I know _I_ would appreciate that," I say. "And speaking of my husband, I've got to be leaving soon. His interrogation is at 9:00 a.m. Thanks for the suggestion by the way. Jack had no problem putting his first."

"You're welcome," he says as he puts his hand on the doorknob. "I'll see you later. Bye Tyler, Mrs. Prior."

"Bye, Will," Tyler says and my mom nods at him, a warm smile on her face.

"Tyler, can you come here?" I ask after Will closes the door behind him. He gets down off the couch and pads over to me. He holds his arms up, and I lift him straight into a tight embrace. "You be a good boy. Remember what I said, you will see Daddy before you go to bed tonight. I promise, so please don't worry about him. I love you, buddy."

"Love you, Mommy," he says hugging me tightly. "I be good." He gives me a kiss then I set him on his feet. I take Tessa out of her swing and snuggle her close to me for a moment.

"She ate about an hour and a half ago," I say handing her to my mom. "I have to get going. Thank you for doing this for me. I don't know how I will ever repay you."

"Go and bring your husband home," she says.

"I know you think I shouldn't have promised Tyler what I did and under other circumstances, I wouldn't have but even if I have to take him to Candor, I'm going to make sure he sees Four."

"He's your son. I shouldn't interfere," she says.

"Your advice is always welcome," I say. "But I might not always take it."

"That's fair," she says with a warm smile. I hug her tightly, tell the kids goodbye again, and head out the door. I get to Candor 15 minutes before Tobias' interrogation and go up to the top floor. I'm expecting a sizeable crowd of spectators but the cavernous room is empty. I walk to the middle of the room and trail a fingertip along the metal chairs. I've heard so much in this room, and I'm about to hear even more.

"Tris?" Jack says as he walks through the double doors.

"Where is everyone, Jack?" I ask, still amazed that the interrogation room is empty.

"The interrogation schedule didn't go out until late last night so I imagine the crowd will be light to nonexistent for the first interview," he says.

"Thank you," I say.

"I didn't do it on purpose," he says.

"You, sir, are a terrible liar," I say trying to hide a smile. He gives me a sideways glance and his lips turn up in to a barely there smile. The large double doors banging open make us both turn, and we watch as Tobias is escorted into the room by Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo.

"Hi," he says when he reaches my side.

"Hi," I say. "How was your night?"

"Lonely," he says. I see Purple-Hair smirk out of the corner of my eyes, and blood floods my face. I take a step closer to Tobias and angle my body away from our small audience.

"I was in bed all night long with a very handsome guy," I say teasing.

"Oh, really!" he says with a coy smile. "Is it anyone I know?"

"I think you've seen him around," I say with a playful grin. "He has dark wavy hair, beautiful light blue eyes, and is about, oh ... _two_ feet tall." We both laugh lightly with each other. It feels good to laugh. "Seriously though, we missed you last night. Even Tessa was cranky. Even though she's only a baby, she could feel your absence. Tyler cried for you this morning. I promised him that he would see you today. I intend on keeping that promise."

"I'm sorry, love," he says. "I would have much rather been at home last night. I didn't get much sleep here. The hard wooden bench in the holding room isn't conducive to a good night's sleep." Jack comes up to us and tells us that Tobias' interrogation needs to begin. I give him a quick kiss then turn and am shocked by one of the handful of people scattered throughout the bleacher-like seating across the room. There sitting in the front row is my dad.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him as I sit down next to him. He takes my hand in his, gripping it tightly in a show of support.

"Your mom thought you could use some company today," he says. "If she was wrong, I can go."

"No, don't go," I say. "I'm glad you're here, Dad." Niles comes into the room from the door that leads into a hallway full of offices. He walks to the center of the room and places a large black box on the metal table between the two interrogation chairs. Well, here we go. Within the next couple hours I'll learn if my soul mate will be taken away from me or not.


	67. Chapter 67

"I would like everyone's attention now," Jack says. "The interrogation of Tobias Eaton will begin now. He has been charged with the murder of Peter Hayes, a Dauntless member in custody at the time of his death." My heart constricts painfully when his name is announced to the room. He shouldn't have to be here answering questions for something he did not do, and he shouldn't have to reveal his true identity if he isn't ready. It both angers and saddens me. I look around and notice that there are only five other people in attendance besides my father and me, and they are all Candor members. Hopefully, they won't recognize him as Dauntless leader Four and then maybe his actual identity won't make it back to the compound. "My colleague, Niles Murphy, will be administering the truth serum and asking the interview questions. Niles, you may begin when you're ready."

Niles steps up to the interrogation chairs and opens the black box. He takes out an alcohol swab and hands it to Tobias who rips into the package and wipes off the left side of his neck then tosses it into the trash can being held in front of him by Jack. Niles takes a syringe out of the box and places it to Tobias' neck and injects the serum into his vein. Within seconds I see him slump in the chair, and every muscle in my body tenses almost painfully. I'll only relax when this is over with and he's safe and sound in my arms.

"Can I please have your full name?" Niles asks.

"Tobias Marcus Eaton," he says.

"What are your parent's names?"

"Marcus and Evelyn Johnson Eaton," Tobias says.

"What faction were you born into and what faction did you choose?" he asks.

"I was born in Abnegation, and I chose Dauntless." I have the urge to look around me to gauge everyone's reaction but I keep my composure and look straight ahead. Dad must be able to feel the anxiety radiating off of me because he slips his arm around my waist and holds me close to him.

"What is the name of your wife?" Niles asks.

"Beatrice Prior-Eaton," he says.

"Do you have any children, and what are their names?"

"Yes, I have two children, Tyler and Tessa," Tobias says with a tinge of sadness in his voice. I can tell that he misses them.

"Now we will get down to business," he says. "Can you tell me how you first met Peter Hayes?"

"He was a transfer last year during initiation, and I was his instructor."

"Is this how he met your wife?" Niles asks.

"Yes, it is," he says. Although I cannot see his facial expressions since his back is to me, I can tell he's very angry. Even under the influence of truth serum, his hatred for Peter is showing. Actually, maybe it's amplifying it.

"Can you tell me what happened on May 23 of this year?"

"Peter kidnapped my wife with the assistance of my father," Tobias spits hatefully. "I found her in the hospital two days later."

"What did Tris tell you he had done to her?" he asks.

"She was knocked over the head in the garage at Dauntless then taken somewhere damp and cave like. There, my father administered memory serum to replace me with Peter and erase our children. She was taken to Candor where she was made to think she was in love with Peter. They actually got married. He _raped_ her," he says, pain in his voice. I hear a barely audible, startled gasp come from my father's lips. I never thought about him not knowing that detail but it makes sense. I never told my parents. I look up into his eyes, and I can't tell if he wants to cry or kill someone. The arm that's wrapped around my waist tightens and his other hand reaches out and grips my hand almost painfully. "The memory serum made her sick, and she had to beg him to take her to the hospital. A friend of ours found her and called me."

"What happened at the hospital?" Niles asks.

"She was upset and confused ... _so_ confused. She didn't know who I was at first," he says. "I could see in her eyes that I was familiar but she was fighting the connection. I couldn't stand being in the same room with her and having her think that she was in love with that bastard. So I gave her a kiss goodbye." He pauses for a moment and when he continues there is profound emotion in his voice. "She said my name when I pulled away from her. Her memory slowly came back from there."

"Are you angry with her for what happened?" I hold my breath waiting for his response. I know he tells me that it's not my fault and he doesn't blame me but he can't fight truth serum like I can so what he says now will be the absolute truth.

"Absolutely not," Tobias says. "She was kidnapped, taken advantage of, and hurt by that piece of shit. How could I be angry with her?" I breathe a sigh of relief. He's been telling the absolute truth.

"Are you angry with Peter Hayes?" he asks.

" _Angry_? That is an _understatement_. He took something from us that we will never get back."

"Are you angry with your father?" Niles asks.

"Yes, I am. He's done so much to hurt me throughout my life. As a matter of fact, he's done everything in his power to make it a living hell but I can take it," he says. "But when he takes it upon himself to try and _erase_ me and my children from my wife's life that is going too damn far. I wish I knew what I did to make him hate me so much. So, you ask if I'm angry. Damn right I'm angry." I don't know which emotion is predominant in his voice, anger or pain. I've never heard him sound this way when he's talking about his father. He almost sounds like a child.

"Do you want your father dead for what he did to Tris?" Tobias doesn't say anything, and I can see him tense and start to shake. I want to run to the middle of the room and hold him in my arms. My father must be able to read my mind because his hold on me tightens, keeping me rooted in place.

"Yes," Tobias finally says. I can tell he really didn't want to say that. I imagine he doesn't want this room full of strangers to hear his innermost thoughts about his father.

"Before Peter Hayes was murdered, did you want him dead?" he asks.

"Yes and I'm not sorry he's dead. He got what he deserved."

"Did you kill Peter Hayes?" Niles asks.

"As much as I would have loved to wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze until the life was extinguished from his eyes, _NO_ , I did _not_ kill him," he says. I see Jack and Niles look at each other.

"First, can you give me the reason why you didn't kill him?" he asks. A maniacal laugh escapes Tobias' lips. I find the question odd also. Did they _want_ him to kill Peter?

"I can give you four reasons why I didn't kill that sonofabitch ... Tris, Tyler, Tessa, and our unborn baby. I wouldn't do _anything_ that could possibly take me away from my family. They are everything to me. As much as I hate him for everything he did, I love them more."

"Can you tell us how you know how Peter died?" Niles asks. "That information was not released." I sit a little straighter. Was Peter strangled? Is that how he died?

"I don't know how he died," he says, sounding extremely confused. "I was just telling you what I would have _liked_ to do to him not what I did."

"You just said and I quote, 'As much as I would have loved to wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze until the life was extinguished from his eyes.' You are trying to now tell me that you didn't know that Peter Hayes was strangled to death in his cell at Dauntless. That the security guard _you_ had posted outside his cell was removed by a text from _your_ phone. That the DNA evidence collected from under Peter's fingernails was a perfect match to you. You are telling me that you didn't know any of this," he says in a rant.

"I did _not_ kill Peter Hayes as much as I wanted to," Tobias says. "I did _not_ send a text message to the guard to remove him from his post. I have no idea how my DNA ended up under his fingernails. Someone set me up."

" _Who_?" he asks. "Who set you up?"

"We aren't 100% sure who it was but when Tris was in Candor with Peter, she met a girl named Nicki who is yet to be apprehended. She at the very least _knew_ that Tris had been kidnapped. She is a person of interest in an ongoing investigation in Dauntless. _She_ is who we suspect of setting me up ... although we have no evidence of that."

"Why would she kill Peter and set you up if she was helping him?" Niles asks.

"That's a great question," he says. "Tris and I have asked ourselves the exact same thing. I'm afraid I don't have an answer for you, Niles. The only thing we can figure out is she has some sort of a vendetta against Tris and me but that is only speculation at the time."

"Can you tell me where you were between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m. Sunday morning?"

"Let's see," Tobias says. "I got up at around 7:00. I was having a hard time dealing with what happened to my wife, and we got into an argument. I left the house somewhere around ... 7:45. I went to the control room. The night before, _I_ became the latest victim of Nicki, and I wanted to talk to Zeke Pedrad, the control room supervisor and my best friend, and see if he had any video of the drugging. We talked business for about an hour and then I left. I was going to go to the training room to work through my frustrations but instead I went to the bottom of the chasm to think about how I was feeling. Once I worked through everything I went home so I could talk things out with Tris. I think I got home somewhere between 11:30 and noon. I'm not sure of times because I honestly wasn't looking at my watch. I was just trying to hold onto my marriage."

"While you were in the control room, did you turn off the surveillance camera covering your holding cells?" he asks.

"No, I did not." He sounds tired and annoyed. Jack approaches Niles and whispers in his ear for a moment. I take a moment to look around me and the size of the crowd has doubled since we've been sitting here.

"You were drugged by Nicki the night before Peter was killed," Niles says. "Can you please tell us about that?"

"Like I said, I was having a hard time with what that bastard did to Tris," he says sounding upset. "Instead of being a man and just talking to her about it, I went to the bar. Unfortunately that is all I really remember. The next morning Tris told me I had been drugged. _That_ is why I went to see Zeke. I wanted to see the security footage. I did see me sitting and staring at what looks like a shot of whiskey for hours but the drugging was either not caught on camera or hasn't been found yet." Jack walks over to me.

"Can I talk to you for a moment, Tris?" he says.

"Of course," I say getting up and following him to the other side of the spacious room.

"He was drugged?" he asks.

"Yes," I say confirming Tobias' story. "Nicki drugs men with a GHB derivative and steals money from their accounts. She has been targeting men in our bar and nightclub since last August. Unfortunately the drug leaves the men with zero memory of the incident. When Four came home Saturday night I could tell he had been drugged. The other Dauntless leaders and I took him to the infirmary where tests were run. Dr. Parrish told me that his drug level was higher than any of her other victims. He also had some scratches on his neck and upper arm, which he told the doctor he had no memory of getting."

"This is strange, Tris," he says. "We pulled his medical file because we found the scratches. There is no mention in his chart of his being drugged or sustaining abrasions."

"There must be some mistake," I say. "We have witnesses to what happened to him, and Dr. Parrish is a close personal friend. He would never falsify medical records."

"I'm not doubting you," he says. "You've never given me a reason to. I appreciate your time." As I'm walking past Tobias he reaches out his hand and it brushes mine. The expression on his face looks very far away but his eyes are radiating love as he looks at me. I give him a warm, loving smile but I'm not sure he can actually see it. I'm surprised he could see that it was me walking by him. When I sit down on the bench next to Dad, Niles continues with the questions.

"Once again, did you kill Peter Hayes?" Niles asks.

" _NO_!" he says, aggravation ringing loud and clear in his voice.

"Okay, did you _hire_ someone to kill Peter Hayes?"

" _NO_!" Tobias says letting out a very loud sigh. I can't take anymore and jump to my feet.

"That's _enough_ ," I yell. "He's told you time and again that he didn't kill Peter. Why are you still questioning him?" Niles glares at me.

"Did _Tris_ kill Peter?" he asks.

" _NO_ ," Tobias says before Niles finishes his question, anger dripping from his voice. I can tell he's trying to maintain his composure but it's not working. "She was at home with the kids. I don't know _who_ killed Peter Hayes but if I'm being completely honest with you, I would like to shake their hand. They did a service to the city."

"Beatrice, you need to sit down," my dad says in my ear. I slowly return to my seat, shooting daggers at Niles the entire time wishing they were real knives. I would love to conduct a truth serum interrogation of him and watch him squirm. I've never really liked Niles Murphy but I'm liking him even less now. Jack says something to Niles, which doesn't seem to sit well with him.

"One last question," he spitefully says. "What is your biggest regret?"

"I treated my wife abhorrently once I got her back," he says. "I was unforgivably rude. I said some terrible things. I shied away from her touch. I hurt her tremendously yet, by some vast miracle, she still loves me and forgave me _so_ easily. I'm not sure I deserve it. My biggest regret is that I'm not sure I could have been as understanding with her as she was with me. If the roles had been reversed, I imagine our marriage would be over. Knowing this, kills me. She deserves so much better than me." It's odd how we both think we don't deserve the other. I shouldn't be his biggest regret. I should be his greatest joy.

The few Candor members in the room all say, "Thank you for your honesty."

"Even though the evidence in the death of Peter Hayes overwhelmingly points to you," Jack says addressing Tobias, "your denials under truth serum outweigh it. The antiserum will be administered, and you will be released. Our next interrogation will begin in 30 minutes." I get up and rush to Tobias. I kneel in front of him and hold his hands in mine. His eyes try to focus on me but until the antiserum is administered, it's no use. They just focus and refocus.

"It's okay, Tobias," I whisper. "Everything is going to be okay now. I love you."

"I love you so much that it hurts like hell sometimes," he says still under the effects of the truth serum. Niles comes up behind him and without warning jabs a syringe into his neck making him flinch away from the pain. I glare up at him and he smirks.

" _Bastard_ ," I mutter under my breath. Just as quickly as the truth serum took effect, it wears off. Tobias' shining eyes look my way, and he smiles brightly at me. He pulls me up to sit on his lap, and his soft lips land on mine. He tangles his fingers in my hair as his mouth moves expertly with mine. I pull away from him when I get the feeling that someone is close to us and I'm right. Not six feet away stands my dad. I get off of Tobias' lap and help him to his feet. "Do you feel okay?"

"I do," he says swaying into me a little. "Well, maybe it would be best if I sat back down." I lead him to the far side of the room where a few empty chairs are lined against the wall, and he sits down. "I told you that we had nothing to worry about, love. I'm going home with you tonight."

"Why didn't you tell us what happened to you, Beatrice," my father says. That conflicted look is back on his face.

"It isn't something I like thinking about, Dad," I quietly say, not bringing myself to meet his eyes. "Four and I are trying to move passed it."

"I'm sorry that this happened to both of you," he says. "If you don't want me to stay for the interrogations, I would understand."

"You've heard the worse," I say. "I would like you to stay."

"Okay," he says. "I'll leave you two alone." He nods our way eliciting a nod from each of us. We look at each other and smile. It's so easy to revert to our old Abnegation ways when we are around my parents. I wrap my arms around his neck and he sighs in my ear.

"I'm so thankful that is over," I say. "Although, I didn't think Niles was ever going to stop."  
"What did Jack ask you about?" Tobias asks.

"They saw the scratches on your neck and arm and pulled your medical records," I say. "Either the drugging hasn't been added to your record yet or someone altered them. There was no mention of the drugging but more importantly the scratches that were there a full 12 hours _before_ Peter was killed. Obviously that is where the DNA from under his fingernails came from. I have to admit, I didn't think Nicki was that smart. Doesn't that sound like something someone with medical knowledge would have to do?"

"You're right," he says.

"There's something else I have to tell you," I say. "Shauna was assaulted yesterday by Nicki and those two men." A scary look transforms his face into Four. "We aren't exactly sure what happened because they knocked her out and gave her the drug so she doesn't remember anything. We do have the incident on video though. Before the taller of the two men ran up behind her and hit her, she had her hand on her sidearm. I don't know if she saw them doing something illegal or if she just recognized Nicki from the composite but she's lucky. Because of the head injury she was kept in the infirmary all night but she's okay."

"Where did this happen?" he asks.

"On the outskirts of Dauntless nearing the Erudite sector," I say. "She was checking the patrols when she happened upon them. At least that's what it looks like in the video."

"I'm glad she's okay," he says. "I wonder how Zeke is." I dig my phone out of my pocket and hand it to him.

"Call him," I say.

"Tris, Four, can we have a word with you?" Jack asks as he approaches us with Niles by his side before Tobias has a chance to call his friend. "It's very important."

"What can we do for you?" Tobias asks as he hands me back my phone. I put it back in my pocket

"Will you please follow us?" Niles asks. My anxiety level starts to rise as we get up and follow Jack and Niles into what must be another leader's office. "You can have a seat." Tobias and I sit in the white leather barrel chairs, and Jack sits down behind the desk with Niles hovering over his right shoulder.

"What's this about?" Tobias asks.

"Something was just brought to our attention," Jack says. Oh, God! Somehow they found out about us having sex yesterday in that empty office. I am _so_ embarrassed. I wonder what the punishment is for making love in a bathroom of a different faction. I give Tobias a sideways glance and he's already looking my way, his Four mask firmly in place. I need to have him teach me how to do that. Jack looks at a couple sheets of papers then slides them across the nearly empty desk toward us. Please, don't let them have photos. Tobias picks them up and studies them. I see him knit his brows together.

"What the hell am I looking at?" Tobias asks. When he meets my eyes, I see genuine fear on his face. I try to look at the documents but all I see is page after page of typeface.

"What's going on?" I ask as my heart starts racing, Tobias' dread rubbing off on me.

"It's about your marriage," Jack says. "I'm afraid to tell you this but in the eyes of the city, you two are divorced."


	68. Chapter 68

My eyes automatically fly to Tobias'. He is sitting in the white leather barrel chair beside me frozen in place with a look on his face that is quite hard to describe. He's frightened, confused, angry, and worried all at the same time. I'm trying to figure out his dominant emotion but they all seem to be randomly flashing across his face at one second intervals. He looks like he's not handling what Jack just said very well. I wish _I_ hadn't heard what he just said. Why would the city think we aren't married?

"What ... what do you _mean_ the city thinks we're divorced?" I slowly ask, a lack of emotion in my voice.

"I'm afraid we don't know the specific details," Jack says. "This will have to be addressed during the interviews."

"In investigating Peter Hayes' crime, divorce papers were found filed on your behalf, Tris," Niles says. My eyes widen, and I rip the papers out of Tobias' hands and study each page.

"We didn't _sign_ any papers," Tobias roars at the top of his lungs. I knew it would be bad when he finally thawed.

"These aren't our signatures," I say. "So that means they're fraudulent, and we have nothing to worry about, right?"

"We know that they are fake now but at the time they were _filed_ , we didn't," Jack says. "I promise we will get this straightened out but it is going to take some time."

" _NO_ ," I firmly say jumping to my feet and pounding a fist on his desk making the pens rattle in their holder. " _I_ am the victim here, and I refuse to be victimized anymore. This needs straightened out _right now_. _He_ is my husband." I point at Tobias. "We never signed this paperwork," I say as I throw the fake documents at Jack and Niles, startling them. "Therefore, whatever was filed with the city unlawfully should be invalid. I want papers to take home _tonight_ saying Tobias and I are husband and wife and that we've been married since April 6. I'm not leaving here until you do this." Jack and Niles look at me open mouthed like they've never seen me before. "I have had _ENOUGH_! Peter kidnapped me ... drugged me ... made me forget everything important to me. Then he had me marry him, and he _raped_ me." Both men flinch. "I will not _stand_ here and have the city try to tell me that I'm not married to the man I love ... the man I _willingly_ married. Peter has taken so much away from me, so much from us, _please_ don't allow him to take my marriage too." My chest is heaving with anger.

"Tris, please calm down," Jack says. "I know how frustrating this must be for you."

" _No_ , you have _no idea_ how this makes me feel," I say, feeling like my world is spinning out of control once again. "I'm trying to move on with my life, and here I am being reminded of those three horrible days once again. You ... need ... to ... _FIX THIS_." Jack exhales loudly and pushes a button on the phone. A woman I've never heard before answers.

"Charlene, who do I need to talk to about cancelling divorce papers?" he says.

"Cancelling divorce papers?" she asks.

"Yes," he says. There is a pause, and I hear her typing on the other end of the call.

"The judge that signed them I guess," she says. "There doesn't seem to be any precedence."

"Thank you, Charlene," Jack says releasing the button. He gathers up the paperwork I threw in his face and finds the judge's signature and sighs. "Judge Robert Hansen, I should have known. We will get him on this matter as soon as his interrogation is over." He looks toward the clock on the wall and frowns. "Speaking of his examination, it should have been underway by now." Tobias stands and takes my hand. We follow closely behind Jack and Niles back to the interrogation room.

"We'll be in in a minute," Tobias says when Jack holds the door for us.

"Very well," he says. "We will be starting very soon. Please don't take too long." After the door closes behind Jack and Niles, Tobias takes me into his arms and holds me tight. I feel his lips in my hair, and I move myself as close as I can to him. I'm trying very hard not to fall apart right now. This can't be happening. We just _can't_ be divorced. That would make me legally married to Peter. I cringe.

"I wish I would have killed him," I say into his chest. "They never would have convicted me of anything under the circumstances then maybe, just maybe I would feel better right now." He leans back and looks me in the eyes. He looks partly terrified and partly irate.

"I'm sorry, love," he says. "This doesn't change anything. You are _my_ wife. Please remember that. If they can't work things out, we'll just get married again."

"We shouldn't even have to be having this conversation, Tobias," I say, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. "Why did he want to hurt me so much?" I feel the frustrated tears start to flow. He wraps me up in his strong embrace while I pull myself together. "I'm sorry. I told you once I would never cry over what he did to me ever again and here I am once again crying in your arms. I don't know how you stand it. I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize, love," he says, cupping my face and drying the wetness with his thumbs. "If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream. If you need to hit someone, please don't hit me." I start laughing. "It's nice to hear you laugh."

"Thank you," I say. I go up on my tiptoes and pull his mouth to mine. I kiss him with all the love I have. He pulls away too soon for me and I groan. He gives me an apologetic look then opens the nondescript door that leads back into the interrogation room for me. I enter the enormous room and am momentarily shocked to see that the gallery is now full of black-and-white-dressed spectators. Tobias and I take the empty seats Dad saved to wait for the next interrogation.

"Is everything alright, kids?" he asks us.

"No, not really," I say with a sigh. "Four and I are ... _divorced_ ... in the eyes of the city anyway. We're not exactly sure how this happened. Hopefully, we will get the answers we need during the interviews." A terrifying look comes over my father's face.

"I wish I could have killed that sonofabitch," he says. My eyes widen. That is _totally_ out of character for my Abnegation father. Violence is viewed as selfish. "I'm sorry but I'm _so_ angry for what he has put you through, Beatrice, and you too, Four. No one should ever have to go through what you did." He puts his arm around me and hugs me close.

"Thanks, Dad," I say. He releases his hold on me but keeps his arm in place. I reach out and take Tobias' hand in mine. The next four interrogations are going to be rough. I'm glad that the two most important men in my life are here to support me.

"May I have everyone's attention?" Jack yells. The room goes instantly quiet. No one wants to test his authority. "I'm sorry for the delay in beginning our next interrogation. I had some important business to discuss that directly relates to this matter. Guards, will you please bring in Judge Hansen." A big man with slicked back dark blonde hair nods at Jack and disappears through the tall double doors. He comes back a moment later escorting the judge to the center of the room. I tense up and Tobias squeezes my hand.

"Everything will be okay," he whispers in my ear. I let out the breath that I'm holding and nod. I hope he's right.

"Niles, please commence with the interview," Jack says once again turning the floor over to Niles.

"For those of you who do not know me, my name is Niles Murphy, and I will be conducting the interrogations today," he says. "Our first interviewee is Judge Robert Hansen. Judge, you know how this works." He hands the judge an alcohol swab, and he immediately rips into the small package and thoroughly wipes off the left side of his neck. Once he's done, he tosses the trash into the bin held up in front of him by Jack. Niles puts his hand on his head and tilts it to the right, exposing the left side of his neck. He picks up a syringe out of the black box and inserts the needle into the judge's neck then tosses it away. Just like every other person I've ever seen sitting in that seat, he slumps over when the truth serum activates. "Can you please state your name?"

"Robert Terrell Hansen, II," he says, typical confusion evident in his voice.

"What are your parent's names?"

"Robert and Elizabeth Hansen," the judge says.

"What faction were you born into and what faction did you choose?" he asks.

"I was born in Candor, and I chose to remain in Candor."

"What is your wife's name?" Niles asks.

"Agatha Hansen," he says, sounding bored.

"Do you have any children?"

"Yes, Robert Terrell Hansen, III," the judge says, sadness tinging the edge of his voice.

"Did you know Peter Hayes when he was a Candor dependent?" he asks.

"I can't say that I knew him personally. I've been friends with his father for years and knew who he was though."

"Did you marry Peter Hayes and Beatrice Prior on May 24?" Niles asks.

"Yes, I did," he says not an ounce of guilt or regret in his voice knowing what he knows now.

"How did it come to pass that _you_ married them considering you are a sitting appeals judge and don't normally perform wedding ceremonies?"

"Like I said, Porter Hayes is an old friend of mine," the judge says. "He called on May 23rd and said his son was wanting to elope with his fiancée. He asked if I would be willing to perform the ceremony on short notice. I told him I wasn't available that day but I could do it the next."

"Judge, did you know that Beatrice was already married at the time you performed the ceremony?" he asks. Judge Hansen straightens up in the interrogation chair and doesn't answer immediately. It's obvious this question caught him off guard.

"No, she wasn't married, or I would _not_ have performed the ceremony. I remember signing her divorce papers at least a full two weeks before Porter asked me to marry them. She was single at the time I performed her marriage to Peter Hayes." More than _two weeks_? Peter had his plan in the works for a long time.

"The divorce papers you signed and filed with the city were fraudulent," he says. "Is there a way you could have known this without the information you are being provided right now." The judge pauses like he's thinking. His body language doesn't betray that he's feeling any pain.

"No, there isn't. I've known Porter Hayes a long time. When he brought me the divorce papers and asked me to do him a favor, I didn't think twice about it. I have a hard time believing that he knew they were forged. I'm _assuming_ they were forged."

"They were. So let me get this straight. Porter Hayes gave you divorce papers to file on behalf of Beatrice Prior?" Niles asks.

"Yes," he says. "He told me he was helping his son and fiancée who couldn't make it to Candor to file the paperwork so that they could get married as soon as possible."

"Do you normally take divorce papers from a random lay person? Don't they have to be filed by attorneys?"

"It may not seem like it but third party involvement with divorces happens all the time," the judge says. "You don't have to be a lawyer to file the paperwork." I wonder how many couples throughout the city think they are married but have been divorced by this incompetent fool.

"I believe that might change from now on," Jack says.

"Was there anything that happened that made you think you shouldn't be performing Peter and Beatrice's marriage ceremony?" Niles asks after a long pause.

"No," he says after a pause of his own. "They both looked happy, eager to get married even." Niles looks at Jack who nods his head.

"I believe those are all the questions pertinent to the case. One last question for you, Judge Hansen. What is your biggest regret?"

"That I never gave Robby the time and attention that he deserved," the judge says. "He joined Amity last year, and if I had spent more time with him, maybe he wouldn't have defected to another faction."

"Thank you for your honesty," echoes loudly throughout the room when all the Candor speak at once. So the judge didn't really know anything. He just did a few favors for his old friend. I think he needs to find some better friends.

"Four, Tris, can you follow me?" Jack says. We get up from the uncomfortable wooden bench and follow him to the center of the room and stand before Judge Hansen as Niles administers the antiserum. I watch as his eyes go from glassy to clear.

"What is this about, Jack?" he says, eyeing me.

"We need you to do something for us," he says. "I need you to void her marriage to Peter Hayes, void her divorce paperwork, and reinstate her marriage to Four."

"I can't do that," he says. I've never seen anyone tell Jack no before so I glance up into his face. Yep, just as I thought. The look is absolutely terrifying. Dare I say, scarier than Tobias' angry Four face. "It's not that _simple_ , Jack."

"It better be simple or there's going to be hell to pay," I boom. I look directly into the judges eyes. "Four and I _did_ _not_ get divorced, Judge Hansen. _You_ and Candor were deceived by Peter and his father, which is not _my_ fault nor _my_ responsibility. He forged divorce papers for us and apparently had his father file them. We don't _want_ to be divorced. You signed them and _you_ need to make this right." The judge sighs loudly. I can tell that he doesn't like taking orders from someone who he views as beneath him.

"Robert," Jack harshly says. "You _will_ do this, and it needs to be done before the final interrogation is over and Four and Tris leave Candor."

"Yes, Jack," he says lowering his eyes like a subordinate. "If you need anything, I'll be in my office."

"I will need documentation of everything I asked you to do and copies to give to Four and Tris," Jack says. "I'll be here. There are only three remaining interrogations and I imagine one of them will be rather quick like yours was. I think you need to get busy."

"I understand," he says. He gets to his feet and leaves the interrogation room, never looking back.

"Are you satisfied that he didn't know he was marrying you under false pretenses?" Jack asks.

"Yes," I say.

"Ruth's interrogation is next. I imagine she won't know much either," he says. "I've had the pleasure of spending some time with her while she's been in custody. She does anything and everything that her husband tells her to do. It's ... disturbing."

"I got that impression of her in the short time that I knew her," I say.

"You can go back to your seats now," he says.

"Thanks, Jack," I say. Tobias puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me back to my seat. Just as I sit down next to Dad, Ruth is escorted into the room. She looks ashen and frail. Her eyes search the crowd until they land on mine, and she gives me an apologetic look. She must have been notified of Peter's deception. She is made to sit in the cold, metal chair facing away from us and Niles goes through his routine of getting her ready for the interrogation. When she slumps sideways in the chair, it signals to him that she's ready and he begins.

"Please state you name," Niles firmly says.

"Ruth Ann Hayes," she says, her voice loud but pitiful and weak. It's an odd mixture.

"What are your parent's names?"

"Arlo and Annie Buck," Ruth says with longing in her voice.

"What faction were you born into and what faction did you choose?" he asks.

"I was born in Abnegation, and I chose Candor." Wow, I can't imagine going from a selfless existence to that of always telling the truth. They seem so different.

"Are you married?" Niles asks.

"Yes, to Porter Hayes," she says.

"Do you have any children?"

"Yes, I was blessed with a son, Peter," Ruth proudly says. I've got news for her, she shouldn't be so proud of her good-for-nothing son.

"What faction did he choose?" he asks.

"Dauntless."

"Can you tell me how he came to be living in Candor when he defected to Dauntless during his Choosing Ceremony?" Niles asks.

"I can only tell you what Porter told me," she says.

"That would be fine, Ruth. What did Porter tell you?"

"He told me that Peter had fallen in love with a woman who was under the thumb of her controlling, abusive ex-boyfriend who refused to believe their relationship was over," Ruth says. I listen closely as she tells her story, Peter's story. I think Jack was right, she had nothing to do with my kidnapping. She's just a dupe. "She wanted out of the relationship because she had fallen in love with my son and was having his baby but was scared of the man so Peter was bringing her to live in Candor to rescue her from him. Porter set him up with a job and an apartment."

"Did you think that was right?" he asks.

"No, I didn't. I was glad that he was trying to help her get away from the monster she was with but I didn't think it was right for them to come to Candor. They should have stayed in Dauntless and tried to work things out."

"Did you voice your opinion to your husband and son?" Niles asks.

"No, I didn't," she quietly says. I'm waiting for the next question to be why but I'm surprised when he just moves on.

"When did you meet Beatrice?"

"The day she and Peter got married," Ruth says, happiness in her voice. "She is _such_ a lovely girl. I was so happy to have her as a daughter-in-law."

"Did you have any indication that she was there against her will or under duress in any way?" he asks.

"She was acting oddly when we first met. Her eyes were glazed over, and she had a pained look upon her face. I'm afraid Peter got upset with her, and she promptly apologized. I didn't like seeing that part of their relationship. He reminded me of his father at that moment. Once she took some pain medication, she was better. She chatted cordially with us, telling us about her life in Dauntless. We spoke about her parents and the baby."

"I asked if you had any indication that she was there against her will or under duress, Ruth," Niles interrupts, hatefully. Maybe he's this way with everyone.

"No, I can't say that I did," she softly says.

"Have you been told that Peter kidnapped Beatrice and that he gave her memory serum to erase her past?"

"Yes, I have," Ruth says.

"Do you believe Peter kidnapped Beatrice?" he asks. She pauses, sitting in the chair quietly. It doesn't look like she is experiencing the serum's fire in her veins.

"Yes, I do. He's becoming too much like his father." Her voice is pitifully low and full of pain. "She didn't deserve to be treated that way. I really liked her." If I'm telling the truth, I liked her too.

"Ruth, I need you to speak up," Niles says.

"Yes, sir," she says submissively.

"Did you have any involvement in getting Peter a job in Candor?" he asks.

"No."

"Did you have any involvement in setting the apartment up for Peter in Candor?" Niles asks.

"I did. I furnished the apartment for them at my husband's request," she says.

"Did you have any involvement in the acquisition and filing of divorce papers for Beatrice Prior?" he asks.

"No." She sounds very confused.

"Did you know about the acquisition and filing of divorce papers for Beatrice Prior by your husband?" Niles asks.

"Divorce papers? No," she says. "I didn't know she was married."

"Yes, she is, Ruth. She also has two children at home, and the baby she is carrying is her husband's, not Peter's." I hear a gasp escape her lips. She had no idea about my real life. Niles starts pacing in front of Ruth. He's looking at her like he's not getting the answers he wants. My protective motherly instinct wants me to jump up and shield her from his questions, and she's old enough to be my mother. Niles looks at Jack and he shrugs his shoulders at him. "Ruth, did you have any prior knowledge about Peter's kidnapping of Beatrice Prior?"

"No, I did not," Ruth says. "I honestly thought I was meeting the girl my son loved and wanted to marry, which sadly _is_ true. I had no idea she was already married with two children at home. I can't imagine what my son put her through. I'm so sorry Beatrice." I bow my head. She isn't the one who should be telling me she's sorry. She didn't do anything wrong.

"Did you ever hear Porter or Peter speak of a girl named Nicki?" he asks.

"No." He gets a piece of paper out of his pocket and holds the composite drawing of Nicki up in front of Ruth's face.

"This is Nicki," Niles says. "Have you ever seen her before?"

"Um," she says, studying the picture. "I saw her once at Peter's apartment but I don't recall him using the name Nicki; however, he didn't introduce us. They could have been talking about someone else."

"Did he call her by a different name?" A different name? Is Nicki not her name? I never thought about that.

"It seems like he did, but I just can't recall," Ruth says. "I'm sorry."

"That's alright. I have one last question for you," he says. "What is your biggest regret?"

"My biggest regret is that I'm not strong enough to stand up to my abusive husband. If I had been able to do that, maybe my son wouldn't have turned out the way he did. No man should ever lay a finger on his wife or child, and a man like that should never be allowed to teach his son to follow in his footsteps." I hear her gasp yet again when she's done speaking. I'm sure those thoughts have never crossed her mind before this moment.

Once again a chorus of, "Thank you for your honesty," echoes throughout the cavernous space. Niles tilts Ruth's head and administers the antiserum then Jack leans down and says something to her. An agonizing scream rips from her chest, and I jump to my feet and move toward her. I look over my shoulder expecting Tobias to be on my heels but he and my father are frozen in their seats. When I reach her side I give Jack a questioning look. He gently lays his hand on my shoulder and tells me he just broke the news about Peter to her. I had no idea that had been kept from her also. I squat down beside her chair, putting my hand on the cold metal to steady myself.

"Ruth?" I ask, putting my hand lightly on her arm. She slowly opens her tear-filled eyes and a warm smile brightens her face momentarily as she looks at me. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"You never loved him?" she asks, hopeful that she's wrong. I shake my head and her face falls.

"No, I didn't," I say. "I could tell you about our relationship but it _isn't_ a happy story. I'm not sure you want to remember him that way. He was your son and you loved him. That should be what matters to you." I can't believe that I have compassion for the woman who raised such a monster.

"I should have known that he couldn't have caught a girl as nice as you," she says, tears streaming down her face. "I'm sorry he hurt you, Beatrice, but I think I'm sorrier that I don't get to know you. I would have loved that." I feel Tobias at my shoulder, and I look up into his worried face.

"Ruth, _this_ is my husband, Four," I say. She smiles up at him but doesn't say anything. "Four, this is Peter's mother, Ruth. I'm not sure if you two met last year during visitation day." I look back toward Peter's heartbroken mother. "When we first met in Candor, I remembered seeing you and Porter visiting Peter in Dauntless. That's what made my head hurt so badly. My memories were clashing with the memory serum. I just brushed it off like I did everything else those two days. I should have been stronger then maybe none of us would be here right now." Tobias starts to say something but Ruth stops him.

"No, dear," she says. "You were deceived, and I am _so_ sorry that I was part of that deception. I will never forgive myself."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Ruth. You were just as deceived as I was," I say. "Please don't beat yourself up. I don't blame you, and I don't hate you. In another time and place, we might have been great friends. I wish we would have met under different circumstances."

"I agree with you, dear," she says.

"I'm sorry but we need to get ready for the next interrogation," Jack says sympathetically.

"Is she allowed to go home?" I ask. "She obviously had no part in this."

"Yes, she is free to go," he says. "No punishment is necessary."

"Do you need help getting home?" I ask.

"I can walk her home," Dad says from over my shoulder. She looks up at him with questioning eyes.

"Ruth, this is my dad, Andrew Prior," I say. Her eyes widen. "My parents and brother are still very much alive, thankfully. The memory serum was programmed to make me _think_ they had died in an accident. I'm so thankful that I remembered."

"Beatrice, I am _so_ sorry for what he did to you," she says, new tears forming in her eyes. "I think you're right, I don't want to know everything or I might end up hating my own son and then I would hate myself." I give her a warm smile and help her out of the chair then I give her a friendly hug.

"Show me the way, Ruth, and I will make sure you get home safely," Dad says.

"Thanks, Dad," I say. I watch as they walk away and I look up into Tobias' face. "You know, technically, right now in this moment, she's my mother-in-law. I feel bad for her. I liked her."

"Are you wishing she was your mother-in-law?" he asks.

"How can I wish that?" I say, knowing what he means. "Evelyn gave us such a gift in Tyler and Tessa. I feel bad complaining about her but Ruth welcomed me with open arms. She reminds me a little of my mother but with less of a backbone. Your mother despised me."

"I'm sorry I couldn't have given you in-laws who love you," he says. "You deserve that. If you want to, stay in contact with her."

"I'm not sure that I can do that, Four," I say. "She reminds me of him." He furrows his eyebrows at me in confusion. "She's _his_ mother. He may not look like her or even act like her but he was a part of her. Maybe in the future I won't feel that way and I'll want to see her again." We slowly walk back to the bleachers, take our seats, and quietly wait side-by-side for the next interrogation to get underway.


	69. Chapter 69

"How are you holding up?" Tobias softly asks in my ear after we've been sitting for nearly five minutes waiting for the next interrogation without saying a word, his hot breath caressing my skin causing a shiver to travel down my spine.

"Does it seem like Niles wants to find a way to make what happened to me _my_ fault?" I ask, watching him prepare Porter Hayes for his interrogation.

"Yes, and I swear it's taking everything in my power not to get up and pound him into the ground," he says. "But I _want_ to go home tonight. I have a promise to keep." I smile at him, remembering his vow to make love to me.

"I'm not sure I'll be up for it," I say placing my head on his shoulder and my hand on his thigh. "This is emotionally draining for me. I might just want to crash after spending some time with the kids."

"That's okay, too," he says as he kisses my temple. "I can always get a rain check." I lift my head, and he places his mouth on mine for a tender kiss. I get lost in his soft lips and silky tongue until the person sitting directly behind us clears their throat, and I break away from him with a slight blush. Tobias chuckles faintly, places his arm around my shoulder, pulls me close, and kisses my forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I say just above a whisper.

"Can I have your attention please," Jack says. "Porter Hayes' interrogation is about to begin. Niles." At the sound of his name, Niles injects the truth serum into Porter's neck, and he instantaneously slumps forward. Niles catches him right before he tumbles out of the chair onto the floor and pushes him back.

"Will you please state your name?" Niles asks.

"Porter William Hayes," he says, the characteristic confusion sounding loudly in his brash voice.

"What are your parents' names?"

"Philip and Agnes Hayes," Porter says.

"Which faction were you born into, and which faction did you choose?" he asks.

"I was born into and chose Candor."

"Are you married?" Niles asks, working his way down his mental list of mandatory questions.

"Yes," he says, giving no additional answer.

"What is her name?"

"Ruth Ann Hayes," Porter says.

"Do you have any children?" he asks.

"Yes, I have a son, Peter."

"Last year was his Choosing Ceremony. Is that correct?" Niles asks.

"Yes," he says.

"What faction did Peter chose?"

"Dauntless," Porter says hatefully. Oh, he's not a fan. Well the feeling is mutual.

"When is the first time you heard your son speak of Beatrice Prior?" he asks. Porter hesitates too long and visibly shakes with pain.

"Peter mentioned her when my wife and I went to see him last summer in Dauntless on visiting day." _That_ long ago? But he _hated_ me during initiation.

"Did he speak of her after that time and how often?" Niles asks.

"Yes, he talked about her every time we spoke," he said. "It was obvious that he was falling in love with her." Ugh! I need a shower.

"Was there a time when Peter came to you with a request concerning his relationship with Beatrice?"

"Yes," Porter says. Niles waits for him to continue but he just sits there.

"Will you elaborate?" he firmly asks. I think I see Niles roll his eyes but I can't be sure. He's too far away for me to see clearly.

"He came to me approximately ... _six_ weeks ago asking my advice. He told me that he and Beatrice started seeing each other behind the back of her abusive husband, and they were in trouble. She was pregnant and afraid for her safety and that of their unborn child. He wanted to get her away from him. I suggested coming home to Candor. I offered to find him a job and an apartment. He readily agreed but it took Beatrice longer to come around to his way of thinking."

"How is it _you_ filed divorce papers in Beatrice's name?" Niles asks.

"Peter gave them to me and asked me to give them to a friend of mine, Judge Hansen," he says.

"Did you know the signatures were fake?"

"I knew her husband's was fake. I told Peter to just sign his name," Porter says. "He was stressing over a way to come up with legal means to get it but I told him why bother, just sign the damn thing."

"Are you aware that your actions are highly illegal and will have consequences?" he asks. _And they're immoral_.

"I really don't care. I was helping my son, the woman he loves, and my grandchild. I would do it all over again." This man is _unbelievable_. He doesn't think he did anything wrong. I never thought I would say this but he's worse than Peter.

"When did you first meet Beatrice?" Niles asks, shaking his head disbelievingly after a pause.

"My wife and I were introduced to her the day she and Peter got married," he says.

"Did she look confused to you the day you met?" Porter straightens up in the chair. I see him physically flinch. It's obvious he doesn't want to answer this question.

"Yes, she did," Porter says.

"Didn't you think that was strange?" he asks.

"Not really. I thought she was just nervous about meeting us for the first time."

"Why didn't you meet her sooner?" Niles asks. "Didn't you think it was odd that it took so long?"

"Her husband wouldn't let her out of his sight," he says. "Peter wanted to bring her by earlier but it just didn't work out."

"Did you have any indication that Beatrice was with Peter against her will?"

"No," Porter says. "She looked happy to me."

"Let's switch directions," he says. "Did you ever see Peter with Marcus Eaton?"

" _Marcus Eaton_? No."

"Okay," Niles says. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the composite drawing of Nicki or whatever her name is. "Did you ever see Peter with this woman? We believe her name is Nicki although we are not 100% sure." Porter reaches out with an unsteady hand and takes the composite drawing from Niles and holds it incredibly close to his face, trying to focus on it I imagine.

"Yes, I have. This is Peter's friend. I don't remember her name but Nicki doesn't seem quite right," he says. "She came by several times when we were setting up the apartment." I sit a little straighter waiting to see if we learn anything pertinent about Nicki.

"Do you have any indication what his relationship was with this girl?"

"Like I _just_ said, they were friends," Porter says. I can just imagine him rolling his eyes at Niles who takes a deep calming breath. I would say that he isn't liking Porter Hayes at all.

"Do you recall seeing any of their interactions or hearing any conversations that you thought were odd?" he asks.

"Yes, I walked in on them talking about a fortress going down but when they saw me they immediately stopped."

"I need you to think carefully, Porter," Niles says. "When you heard them talking, are you sure they were talking about a fortress or _Four_ and _Tris_?" Porter pauses.

"I thought they were trying to work out a place that would be safe, impenetrable to stash Beatrice," he says. "But, yes, they could have said Four and Tris now that I've heard you say it." They were talking about us. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that.

"Did you hear exactly what they were saying about them?"

"I thought she said, 'the fortress is going down,'" Porter says. "She must have said, 'Four and Tris are going down.' I have no idea what that means."

"Do you know who Four and Tris are?" he says.

"No."

"It's Beatrice and her husband," Niles says, pausing dramatically to let it sink in. "Wait, did you say 'stash Beatrice?'"

"I did," he says. " _So_."

"That statement can be construed as an admission of guilt."

"Guilty of what?" Porter says. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"Peter kidnapped Beatrice," he says. "You just said he was looking for a place to stash her."

"You're twisting my words, and Peter did _not_ kidnap her. It's what her husband is making her say now." I scoff at his words. Arrogant sonofabitch. Niles looks my way with a stern look of disapproval. Tobias grips me tighter. I don't know if it's to comfort me or to keep me in place. I look up into his eyes, and his Four mask isn't betraying his real feelings. I take a deep breath, nearly getting lost in the expanse of his ocean-like eyes. I mouth the words I love you to him and he gives me light peck on my lips.

"I love you, too, Tris," he says and I turn my attention back to the tension-filled interrogation.

"Would you like to look at the three independent blood tests showing Beatrice was administered memory serum," Niles says. "Luckily she's part of the miniscule part of our society who doesn't tolerate that particular serum or your son would have stolen her past. So let's recap. Did you know Peter kidnapped Beatrice away from her husband and children?"

"Children?" he quietly says but loud enough for the room to hear. "He took her from Dauntless without notice so her husband wouldn't know where she went because he was _helping_ her. She knew it was going to happen just not when. He _didn't_ kidnap her." He obviously believes what he's saying or he wouldn't be able to say it. He evidently is in denial. He just admitted in a roundabout way that Peter kidnapped me.

"I'm afraid he did." Niles looks towards Jack and he nods. "One final question. What's your biggest regret?"

"I regret that my good boy fell in love with that … _woman_ ," Porter spits. Peter _was_ his father's son. I think every evil thing he ever did he learned from him. I hear a low, chilling growl resonate from Tobias' chest. "He deserved much better than a whore who cheats on her husband." I gasp, pain spearing through my chest at his words then I remember I'm the victim and rage starts boiling my blood. How dare he call me something so despicable? I have to remind myself that I did not cheat on my husband no matter how guilty I feel at the moment. Tobias is holding me firmly in place but I imagine it's to keep himself from racing to the center of the room and making a scene.

When the typical, "Thank you for honesty," echoes throughout the room l feel like screaming. How can they be thankful for _that_?

"Take him back to the holding room," Jack says to the guards who brought Porter in. "We're going to take a break for lunch. Everyone please be back here in 90 minutes."

"He obviously is going to be punished for his part in my kidnapping," I say as people start filing out of the room for lunch.

"How can you tell?" Tobias asks not sounding at all like himself. I've been selfish again. I only thought about today's interrogations touching me but they have obviously impacted him too.

"Easy, they didn't give him the antiserum," I say. "We've seen so many interrogations over the past few months, and I noticed something. If the person is going to be found innocent, they are given the antiserum immediately. If a guilty sentence is imminent, they are dragged off to a holding room with no relief from the truth serum."

"You're very observant," he says. "Another reason why I love you."

"We better get going," I say as I slowly rub a hand over my tummy.

"Are you alright?" he asks, eying my hand.

"I'm starving," I say.

"Is everything okay with Peanut?" he asks with concern in his voice, his eyes still on my hand, which is making slow circles on my tummy.

"No, there's nothing wrong with Peanut," I say. "It's kind of weird though. She's extremely active today. She's moving all around."

"I'm so jealous," he says putting a hand over mine. "I can't wait until I can feel her move around, too."

"That will happen soon enough. Time is moving so fast. Christina told me when her baby first started moving that it feels something like this," I say as I lightly dance my fingertips along his jawline. "It's very close." He captures my hand and kisses the palm.

"Let's go to the cafeteria," I say. "I need you to feed me." He starts laughing then frowns somberly.

"I hate what that smug bastard said about you in front of a roomful of strangers," he says. "Don't believe him."

"Tobias," I start to say but he gently puts his hands on either side of my face and silences me with a slow, affectionate kiss.

"You _did not_ cheat," he says after he pulls his lips away from me. "I really hope you start to believe that and soon."

"My head knows," I say, running my fingers lightly down his cheek. "It's my heart that sometimes forgets." He leans over and presses his lips softly to mine once again. He nearly makes me forget I'm hungry but my stomach growls and he abruptly pulls away from me with a sorrowful look on his face. I just laugh. He stands up and holds his hand out for me. I take it, and we walk to the cafeteria hand-in-hand.

"What sounds good?" Tobias asks while we're standing in the long cafeteria line. I swear everyone from the interrogations is eating here today. "I see pizza, hamburgers, barbeque chicken, and some sort of rice dish with what looks like chicken and broccoli."

"Barbeque chicken sounds great," I say as my stomach grumbles once again. "I think I could eat a whole one."

"Didn't you eat breakfast?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say remembering the mouth-watering meal. "I made Tyler and me pancakes and sausage. It was really good." My stomach sounds again.

"You apparently didn't eat enough. Why don't you get us a place to sit," he says. "I'll stay in line and get us some food." I draw him closer, give him a quick kiss, and tell him I'm going to make a pit stop first. I go to the bathroom to relieve myself. I know Peanut isn't very big but I swear she must be pressed right up against my bladder today. I've had to go since before Porter's interview began and her moving around didn't help. Once I exit the fancy bathroom, I find us a couple seats at the end of one of the large family-style tables, which is situated beneath a massive window bathing the entire area in a soft, subtle glow. Within a couple minutes Tobias comes to the table with two plates of barbeque chicken, mashed potatoes and chicken gravy, seasoned green beans, apple salad, and warm peach cobbler with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream. The aroma wafts up enveloping my head, making my mouth water. I eat the dessert first since I don't want the ice cream to melt. Each bite is better than the last. I find myself wondering if Hana knows how to make it when I put the last little bit into my mouth. I'll have to pay her a visit soon and see if she does. Actually, I should take Tyler and Tessa to see their honorary grandmother anyway. It's been a while since we visited. When I finish that I dig into the chicken that's dripping delicious barbeque sauce. About halfway through the chicken leg, Tobias starts laughing and hands me a napkin. I must have sauce all over my face. I take it from him and wipe off my mouth then continue with the delicious lunch.

"Are you anxious about what Marcus has to say?" I ask after I swallow a bite of green beans.

"No, not really," he says. "I think I'm actually looking forward to hearing why he did it. I don't understand him."

"Do you think Niles will ask him about your relationship?" I ask not wanting to mention the abuse but I can tell by the look on his face that's exactly where his mind goes to.

"I imagine so," he says, the shining light in his eyes dimming slightly. "It goes to the heart of why he and I have a bad relationship."

"I'm sorry that a room full of strangers is going to hear about some of the worse times in your life," I say.

"They've already heard about the worst time in my life," he says as he leans across the table, staring intently into my eyes. "The most agonizing time in my life was when Peter took you from me. What Marcus did to me as a child pales in comparison."

"That's not true, Tobias," I whisper. "I can't imagine either one of my parent's raising a hand against me in anger. No child should have to live through something like that. It pains me to no end that he hurt you. You didn't deserve it. I wish I could make all your pain go away."

"You help me so much and you don't even know it. You loving me, it helps with the ache in my heart when I think of my less than ideal childhood," he says. "I've known pain almost my entire life for one reason or another. But you're wrong, Tris. Nearly losing you ... not knowing where you were for nearly 48 long hours ... _that_ was the worse pain I ever felt in my entire life until I learned what he did to you. Then I knew what true _agony_ was."

"Hello, kids," my dad says as he walks up to us with a plate of his own food. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything. If I am, I can go sit somewhere else."

"You aren't interrupting a thing, Andrew," Tobias says, a real smile brightening his face. "We were just talking about Marcus."

"Oh," Dad says. "Wondering what his explanation will be?"

"Yeah," Tobias and I say at the exact same time. We both start laughing, the intensity of our previous conversation fading away.

"I want to know what was going through his mind when he helped Peter," I say. "I know that we don't like each other but I didn't think he hated me that much."

"He doesn't like anyone, not even himself," Tobias says. "I really can't wait for his explanation."

"What do you think their punishment will be?" I ask as I push my finally empty plate away from me.

"I think they should he given memory serum and have everything erased like they tried to do to you," he says. That's an intriguing idea.

"I doubt the city will do that," Dad says. "Memory wipe is used only in the rarest and most extreme of cases. I was surprised last winter when they gave that sentence to Alec Parrish."

"Why does Abnegation have memory serum lying around where anyone can access it?" I ask shaking my head remembering the satisfied yet evil look in Marcus' eye when he gave me the serum meant to erase Tobias, Tyler, and Tessa from my life. "Marcus isn't a part of the council anymore. He shouldn't have been able to get his hands on it."

"I'm afraid he still has some good friends in Abnegation," Dad says. "I'm sure some are loyal enough to do as he asks."

"It seems wrong," I mutter. Dad eats quickly as Marcus' interrogation is set to start within 15 minutes, and we still have to walk back up to the interrogation room on the top floor. We drop our trash into the receptacles by the door and put the dishes in the trays that sit atop the trash bins then exit the cafeteria.

"That was wonderful," I say feeling overly full as we make our way to the elevator. "I wish I could lie down and take a nap. Tessa got up an extra time during the night, and I'm exhausted."

"I'm sorry," Tobias says. "You told me she was cranky but you didn't tell me she had you up most of the night. She did that when you were gone. It's like she was a newborn again." I glance up into his face and smile.

"She missed us," I say. "Do you think she knows we're her mom and dad?" I see Dad smiling to himself as I ask my husband the question.

"I think she might," he says with a bright smile as we step off the elevator. "It's amazing, isn't it?" We enter the interrogation room and take our seats next to dad.

"Yes, being her mother is amazing," I say. "I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"I know what you mean," he says kissing the top of my head.

"Our next interview is with Marcus Eaton," Jack says from the center of the room, eliciting silence from the crowd. We got here just in time. I sit on the edge of my seat in anticipation of what he has to say for himself. Of all the interrogations I've witnessed, I think this is the one I've looked forward to seeing the most. "Bring the final prisoner in." After approximately two minutes, the large double doors bang open, and Marcus is escorted into the room flanked by two very large armed Candor guards. When he looks our way, he gives Tobias and me a genuine-looking warm smile, which peeves me to no end. He is a world-class actor. I wonder what he has up his sleeve.

Once Marcus is sitting in the familiar interrogation chair, Jack says, "Niles, you may begin." Niles goes through the same routine he always does preparing a suspect, and I find myself thinking that if Candor ever came to me and asked if I could do an interrogation that I would be able to do it. When the truth serum is administered, Marcus slumps sideways in the chair.

"Can you please state your full name for me?" Niles asks.

"Marcus Stuart Eaton," he says after a nearly imperceptible pause without a shred of confusion in his voice. That's strange.

"What are your parent's names?" Tobias leans forward a little. I glance up into his face and see intrigue written all over it.

"Gregory and Abigail Eaton," Marcus says. I wonder if he knew his grandparents' names before this moment.

"What faction were you born into and what faction did you choose?" he says.

"I was born in Candor, and I chose Abnegation."

"Are you married?" Niles asks.

"I'm a widower," he says. He is _now_.

"Who were you married to?"

"Evelyn Johnson," Marcus says.

"When did she pass away?" he asks.

"April 16th of this year."

"Wasn't it reported to the city approximately 10 years ago that she died during childbirth?" Niles asks.

"Yes," he says, elaborating no further.

"How did that come to transpire, Marcus?"

"I lied to the city. She had an affair and chose to leave me, my son, and Abnegation behind, give the child up for adoption, and become factionless," Marcus says. "I was embarrassed and angry so instead of telling the truth, like I said, I lied and told everyone including my son that she and the baby died. At the time it seemed like the best thing to do for Tobias and myself."

"Tobias is your son?" he asks.

"Yes."

"Do you have any other children?" Niles asks.

"No, I do not," he says.

"Your son chose a different faction at his Choosing Ceremony, is that correct?"

"Yes," Marcus says. "He chose Dauntless."

"How did that make you feel?" he asks. I can't imagine Marcus Eaton discussing his feelings.

"I was disappointed and slightly angry that he chose to leave. I honestly wasn't expecting it." How is that possible? "I imagined watching him meet a nice girl, get married, and raise my grandchildren in Abnegation. I'm not a fan of Dauntless. I didn't like that he was going to be turned into a brute." I look into Tobias face and his mouth is hanging open. I don't think that either one of us expected answers like this.

"Your son is married now with children, isn't that correct? Niles asks.

"Yes," he says after a brief pause, no emotion in his voice. "To another Abnegation defector named Beatrice Prior."

"How do you feel about your daughter-in-law? Do you not approve?" Here it comes.

"I don't like her," Marcus says matter-of-factly. "I thought she was a nice girl growing up in Abnegation but once she was influenced by the reckless Dauntless she changed. She has shown me nothing but contempt and loathing since we met again. She keeps my son and grandchildren away from me." I want to stand and scream out that it's not true. I'm not an evil, hateful, or vindictive person. He is.

"Under the influence of truth serum, Tobias has told us that she is not the one who keeps you at arm's length. He is," he says. "He can't lie under truth serum. You've been told this before. Why do you _still_ think that she is the one keeping you away?"

"She has a bewitching hold on my son." Great, _now_ I'm a witch. "He believes anything she tells him. I love Tobias, Tyler, Tessa, and their baby very much. I would love nothing more than to have a relationship with them. It's my greatest wish." Does he really feel this way or is something else going on?

"Why do you think Beatrice would try to keep you away from Tobias and the children?" Niles asks.

"We've had run-ins on more than one occasion," he says hanging his head slightly.

"Please give us an example."

"Okay. Last December I was in my office at Abnegation headquarters and a friend of mine told me that my son was in the building. It was only the second time since he joined Dauntless that he was in Abnegation," Marcus says. "I went in search of him and found him in Andrew Prior's office. He was discussing some Dauntless business with Andrew and Beatrice. Andrew and his wife left me with Tobias and Beatrice to retrieve a couple other council members. Some words were exchanged, and I said some things that were unforgivable, some things that I can never take back. They cost me my job, my good standing in Abnegation, and nearly my faction." I find myself shaking my head. Something just isn't right.

"So, why on May 23rd of this year did you give Beatrice memory serum to erase Tobias, Tyler, and Tessa and make her think that she was in love with someone else? Was it revenge?" he asks. There is a pause, and I see Marcus tense ever so slightly.

"I didn't."


	70. Chapter 70

No, there is _no way_ in hell that I just heard Marcus Eaton say what I think he said. Did he really just tell Niles that he didn't give me memory serum to erase my family and make me think I was in love with Peter? That can't be right. I must be dreaming. None of this is really happening. I slide my eyes to Tobias', and they're already looking at me, the same panic mirrored in them. I can't believe this. Marcus Eaton is like me. He's Divergent, and he can manipulate the truth serum. It's the only thing that makes sense. Now what am I going to do? I have to keep my cool. This can come back to bite _me_. Making false claims against someone is a serious crime and punishable by six months in jail. _I_ want to go home tonight, too.

"Let me get this right," Niles says. "You _didn't_ inject Beatrice with memory serum on May 23rd?"

"No, I did not," he says. I notice a slight pause before he answers. I remember having to fight with every ounce of energy I had to keep from blurting out the truth immediately so that _is_ why it's taking him longer to respond. He's Divergent. _Sonofabitch_! My only consolation is that I know he feels like he's tied in a fire right now.

"Do you know Peter Hayes?"

"I met him once," Marcus says. "He came to me asking if I could get him some memory serum. He figured because I'm not close to my son and daughter-in-law that I would help him but I told him there was nothing I could do. I no longer have access to memory serum not that I would have given it to him. I now know that I should have turned him in. Maybe her abduction would have been foiled but I thought there was no point. _That_ was my only fault in this matter. He obviously got what he wanted from someone else." I feel Niles and Jack's eyes on me. I give them an intentionally confused look, which isn't difficult to pull off. This revelation has turned my world … no _our_ world on its head. Tobias and I no longer have a legal defense against Marcus Eaton. He will _always_ be able to lie. Niles takes the picture of Nicki out of his pocket and hands it to Marcus.

"Do you know this woman?" he asks. Marcus takes the paper and looks at it for a moment.

"No, I don't know her."

"Have you ever _seen_ her?" Niles asks.

"Yes, she was with Peter when he inquired about the memory serum but he didn't introduce us," he says.

"Did Peter call her by name at any time during your conversation?" Once again Marcus pauses and tenses slightly.

"No, he did not," Marcus says. He just lied again. He obviously knows who Nicki is but we'll never know what is truth and lies with him.

"I have one final question for you, Marcus," he says. "What is your biggest regret?"

"I regret that my daughter-in-law hates me enough to not only turn my son against me but to level these accusations at me. I'm sorry for what she went through but I had no hand in it."

As the room says, "Thank you for your honesty," I see Niles administer the antiserum to Marcus and tears of frustration wet my eyes but I fight them off. There will be no punishment for him because he's Divergent. I've always thought that being Divergent is harmless but now I'm not so sure. He truly could wreck me and Tobias.

"That concludes today's interrogations. Porter Hayes' punishment will be announced in a press release," Jack says. He comes directly to me with what could only be described as a furious look. "I think we need to have a conversation in my office." He doesn't have his normally friendly tone.

"Of course," I say getting up from my seat. "Dad, why don't you go? I'll tell Mom what happens." I give him a hug and watch him walk toward the exit. I turn and take Tobias' trembling hand in mine. He's scared. Funny, a calm has encircled me now that I know Marcus is Divergent without a shadow of a doubt. We have more in common than I thought, and I can use it to my advantage. "Lead the way, Jack." We follow behind Jack with Niles and Marcus right behind us. Tobias and I sit down in the chairs across from Jack's desk and Niles and Marcus sit on the couch. My eyes meet my father-in-law's momentarily, and I see a look of victory in them.

"We have a serious problem, Tris," Jack says. "I've never known you to lie to me but with Marcus' denials under truth serum what am I to think."

"I remember every detail of what happened to me from the moment the hand went over my mouth in the garage until Four found me in the hospital," I say letting tears come into my eyes. "Every time I close my eyes those _horrible_ hours replay in my mind over and over. If it weren't for my baby, I would go under truth serum in a heartbeat, and I would repeat my story for you word for word."

"So you're telling me Marcus is somehow lying?" Jack skeptically asks. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, preparing myself for what needs to be done.

"No, not at all," I slowly say. I avoid Tobias' gaze, which is burning into the side of my face. I would love to look at him, to garner the strength I need but I'm afraid I'll breakdown for real and it's of the utmost importance that I play this correctly. "The memory serum confused me terribly. I don't know how to properly convey how I was feeling. Reality was clashing with my memories. It was horrible. Maybe it made me think Marcus is the one who gave me the serum when in fact it was someone else. It seems to be the only explanation." Jack leans back in his chair, studying my face.

"Why would your mind convince you that Marcus would do something that terrible to you … to Four, his own son?" he says. _Because he hates us and he's evil,_ I think.

"We don't like each other at all for various reasons but I don't think it is appropriate to get into them at the moment," I say. "Even though he views it as truth in his mind, I am _not_ the one who keeps Four from his father. That is Four's choice. Maybe this is a similar situation. My brain is telling me that Marcus helped with my kidnapping. I'm sorry, Marcus." I look over my shoulder at him and nearly burst out laughing at his startled expression but I pull myself together quickly. "We've said some awful things to each other in the past. Let's just call a truce. I don't know why my mind put you in the shoes of the _bastard_ who did this to me but I apologize." By the time I'm done with my speech, my heart is trying to nervously beat its way out of my chest. I hope I'm a better actress than I think I am.

"It's strange how people have differing views of the same situation even under truth serum," Jack says. I furrow my brows at him in confusion. I'm not under truth serum. "I'm talking about Marcus and Four. They both swear under truth serum to opposite sides of the same issue. I've never seen it before in all my years but it makes me believe that there are varying degrees of the truth based on what someone _believes_ to be true. I'm very sorry I doubted you, Tris. Do you have any idea who the second person was that administered the memory serum?"

"I would swear on a stack of bibles that it was Marcus, so I'm afraid my mind will always tell me that the correct person got away with it," I say. That's the only jab I can give my evil father-in-law.

"Marcus you are free to go," Jack says. I don't watch him leave. Worry causes a painful pressure in the center of my chest. I thought today would rid us of him forever but unfortunately we haven't heard the last of Marcus Eaton. I finally drag my eyes to Tobias' and see the dread I'm feeling. I imagine he's thinking the exact same thing I am. I lean toward him and place my lips on his. As much as I need a long, slow, passionate kiss from him, I know now is not the time or place. I pull away from him almost as soon as I begin the kiss, and Jack has an amused look on his face. "We need to discuss Porter Hayes' punishment. Do you think he deserves the same fate Peter ended up with?"

" _Death_?" I ask, stunned.

"Yes," Jack says. "We don't have a place to keep him long term. He helped with every step of your abduction. He filed your divorce papers after encouraging Peter to forge them. He knew you were kidnapped away from Dauntless. A death sentence is appropriate."

"Let me ask you something," I say. "If Marcus had been found guilty is that the sentence you would have recommended for him also?"

"Yes," he says matter-of-factly. I look at Tobias.

"Can we have a few minutes to discuss this?" I ask, my eyes still on the man I love.

"Of course," Jack says. "Niles and I will go check on Judge Hansen's progress." They both get up and leave us alone.

"I kind of suspected," Tobias says, shaking his head. "I should have known."

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about _that_ here," I say looking around the room, suddenly feeling paranoid that we might be on video. "Do you think Porter deserves to die for his role in all this?" I want to add especially since Marcus is getting away with it but I don't. There is no need to rub it in.

"This is how I see it," Tobias says. "He encouraged Peter at every step. He got him a job, an apartment, and a faction to hide out in. I personally hold him responsible for the fact that the city thinks we are divorced. He called Judge Hansen and arranged the time and date of your wedding to Peter. So, yes, I think he's done more than enough to warrant the death penalty."

"I agree with everything you just said," I say. "But is it justice or vengeance? I don't want revenge, Tobias. I want him punished."

"You are a much better person than I am," he slowly says sounding very tired. "Maybe I am looking for a little payback. I wasn't kidding when I told Peter I was going to administer his death serum. Someone took that away from me so maybe I'm looking for a substitute. What punishment do you think is justified?"

"I like your idea of administering memory serum but I need to run it by Jack," I say. I look into his eyes and see trouble brewing. "Whatever plan you are forming it needs to stop ... _now_. He won this round. Let it go." He gets up from his chair and starts pacing. My poor nervous husband. "Tobias." I stand and block his path. When he stops in front of me, I wrap my arms around him and press my ear against his racing heart. It takes him a moment to relax but then he wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on top of my head. "He'll get his one day."

"Awe the newlyweds," Jack says with a smirk as he comes back into the office. Tobias kisses the top of my head then we sit back down keeping our hands joined. "Have you made your decision?"

"I think the death penalty is … too harsh," I say. I see shock on Niles face.

"What do you have in mind?" Jack says.

"I think it only fair to do to him what he helped do to me," I say.

"You want him given memory serum?" Jack asks in disbelief.

"I want his past and his loved ones erased like he tried to do to me," I say. "He can live factionless the rest of his life. Before you do it, I want to talk to him though. He deserves to know what kind of person he raised."

"Memory serum?" Jack asks with a look of concern on his face. He's quiet for a while letting my suggestion sink in. "Okay. You can see Porter in the holding room today before you leave or before the memory serum is administered. I'll leave the choice up to you. I will hand down his sentence, and it will be carried out after he says goodbye to his wife." I forgot about Ruth. I feel bad for her but she will be better off without that hateful man who threats her like she's property. She's still young. Maybe she can meet a nice man. "Judge Hansen was finishing up his task when we talked to him and will be joining us shortly. You'll have all the necessary paperwork before leaving today."

"Jack, may I use your restroom?" I ask.

"Of course," he says. "It's through that door." I rush through the door as I hear Tobias say something about the baby. When I step back into the office, Judge Hansen is standing on the left side of Jack with a handful of paperwork.

"Beatrice, I have something to go over with you," the judge says. "Listen to what I have to say before you overreact." I narrow my eyes at him.

"Okay, I will do my best," I slowly say.

"Right here, right now for all intents and purposes you are the widow of Peter Hayes," he says. I visibly tense. I don't want to hear this, and I open my mouth to say so but Jack's look silences me. "Like I said, listen to _everything_ before you chime in. There is the matter of Peter's death benefit of 10,000 points since he died as the result of a violent crime. You are entitled to that money."

"I don't want anything from him," I say, not having to think about it. "Give it to Ruth."

"Only a spouse or child can benefit," he says.

"I'm _not_ his spouse," I say, not knowing if I want to cry or scream.

"Tris, you could take the money and give half of it to Ruth and the other half to help the factionless," Tobias says. "Think about what that kind of money could do to help."

"Your Abnegation is showing," I quietly say, managing a warm smile for him. He's always thinking of others. "How would it work, Judge Hansen?"

"You would sign a form, the money would be transferred into your account, and then I would proceed with the nullification of your divorce, which in turn would void your marriage to Peter. Your marriage to Tobias Eaton would be intact like none of this ever happened."

"Wouldn't it be tantamount to fraud if I took the money?" I ask. "I wouldn't want this to come back and bite me later."

"It actually was my idea," Jack says. "Think of it as victim restitution. The money doesn't fix what he did to you but maybe you could do some good with it."

"I don't know," I say. "It feels a bit … sleazy."

"Don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable," Tobias says. I lower my eyes and look at my legs, which are nervously jumping up and down. Taking the money wouldn't mean I'm Peter's wife. The judge promises it would be like we were never married. Like that day never happened.

"Is there a way to give half the money directly to Ruth," I ask.

"I'm afraid there isn't," Jack says. "You'll have to transfer it to her yourself."

"Okay, I'll do it," I say. 5000 points could feed and clothe the factionless for an entire year. "Where do I sign?"

"Right here," Judge Hansen says putting a document in front of me. It almost makes me physically ill signing Beatrice Hayes for the second time in my life but thankfully it's the last. The judge takes it from me and makes a few keystrokes on Jack's computer. "Will you please check your account?" I pull my phone out of my pocket and turn it on. It starts buzzing almost uncontrollably letting me know I have unread text messages and numerous voicemails. What is this about? The kids?

"I'm sorry," I say putting the phone to my ear. "I have to check on my kids."

"Hello, Beatrice," Mom says jovially through the receiver.

"Are the kids okay?" I ask nervously.

"They're fine. Tessa's napping and Tyler is coloring at the island. Is everything okay?" she asks.

"I'm not sure," I say. "There are several massage on my phone but as long as Tyler and Tessa are fine I'll wait until later to figure out what's up. Will you please give the kids kisses for me? Hopefully we won't be more than a couple more hours. Thanks, Mom. I gotta go. I love you."

"I love you, too. Bye, honey," she says. I hang up then access my account balance, and it now has 10,000 extra points in it. "The money is in the account."

"Okay," Judge Hansen says. "Onto the next step. This document erases the fraudulent divorce papers and states that any marriage license obtained during its duration are void. Beatrice, sign here." I sign my true name – Beatrice Grace Prior-Eaton where he indicates. "Tobias, please sign here." Tobias takes the pen I'm offering and signs on the signature line the judge points to. "Alright, here is a copy of the money transfer, the nullification of divorce papers, documentation that the marriage to Peter Hayes was obtained fraudulently and therefore is void, and documentation that your marriage to Tobias Eaton is in good standing with the city. Jack, am I needed for anything else?"

"No, Judge Hansen, that will be all," he says. "Thank you for your quick work. We all appreciate it." I get up and stretch out my hand to him. He takes it, and we shake hands.

"Thank you," I say. "You don't know how much this means to me. I'm sorry if I was rude earlier but the revelation that the city thought Four and I were divorced was nearly too much to bear. I'm glad it's been straightened out."

"I'm sorry for my part in all this," he regretfully says. "I really was just trying to help out an old friend. I'll think twice about doing so again in the future." He drops my hand and walks out of Jack's office.

"Would you like to talk to Porter now or come back before the memory serum is administered?" Jack asks.

"Now, please," I say. "No offense, but I've had enough of Candor to last a lifetime." I notice Niles giving me a dirty look but Jack's warm smile is still in place.

"I understand," he says. "It's too bad though. We really are a nice faction. You've seen only the worse side of us. Try to remember that we aren't all that bad."

"I know, Jack," I say. "Try not to hold my grudge against me."

"I would never do that," he says and I can see the honesty in his eyes. We all get up and go down to the third floor where Porter is being held in Candor's holding room. Jack unlocks the door and the four of us walk in. Porter is lying on his back on the end of the low wooden bench. When he hears us, he maneuvers himself into a sitting position. He looks like hell. He must have been told about Peter's demise recently.

"What do _you_ want?" he spits out.

"You will _not_ speak to us in that tone," Jack says. "Everything that has transpired is partly your fault. We are here to give you your sentence." Suddenly I'm not sure that memory serum is much of a punishment.

"Jack, I would like to amend his punishment," I say. "I would like to add a six month jail sentence." He looks at me, knowing what I just figured out. If Porter Hayes was given memory serum right now, it wipes out his grief and he should have to live with it.

"Very well, Tris," he says. He takes two steps toward Porter and says, "You will be sentenced to six months in jail and then you will have your memory wiped and you will live among the factionless." Porter gasps and a fearful look fills his face. "My recommended sentence was death but Tris is very forgiving. She came up with your sentence. One condition is that she gets to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to her," he says.

"That's okay," I say. "You don't have to talk. You just have to listen. I'm going to tell you the _real_ story behind my 'relationship' with your son."

"I don't need to know your view of things, I already have Peter's," he says his face twisted in grief. "You killed him, didn't you?"

"We don't know who killed Peter," I say. "But it wasn't me, and it wasn't my husband." Porter eyes Tobias. When Tobias gives him one of his fierce Four looks, Porter shrinks away from it. I put my hand on his Amity tattoo and shake my head at him. He turns and looks at the wall. "Is it possible to be left alone with Porter?"

"No, Tris," Tobias says. "I'm not leaving you with that bastard's father. I won't do it." I get right in his face and pull his mouth down to mine. I kiss him softly then pull away from him.

"Trust me, Tobias," I whisper. "He's no threat to me. Plus I know how to defend myself. You taught me. I need to do this alone. Please." He growls a little. I know he doesn't want to leave me alone with Peter's father but he has the tendency to give me whatever I want and this is no different.

"Okay, love," he says, straightening up after kissing the top of my head. "I'll be on the other side of that door. If you need me, for anything, just knock. I'll be by your side in seconds. I love you."

"I love you, too," I say, adoration evident in my voice. He gives a parting glare to Porter then walks out of the room followed by Jack and Niles.

"Are you here to gloat?" he says.

"Not at all," I say. "You need to know you were deceived by Peter and now _you_ are the only one paying for his sins." He gives me an evil scowl that reminds me so much of his son that I take an involuntary step back and suck in a calming breath. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. I feel like my body must be visibly shaking with anxiety. Maybe I shouldn't have sent Tobias out of the room. "I was _never_ in love with your son. I _never_ cheated on my husband with him. This baby," I run my hands over my swollen abdomen, "is Four's.

"When we were introduced, I told you that when Peter and I met we didn't like each other very much. I wasn't exaggerating, not one tiny bit. To be honest, I thought he hated me. That is how he treated me, with indifference and revulsion. He did everything in his power to make my life a living hell during initiation. He beat me, although I don't blame him for that. Eric had him do it but he loved every minute of it. He taunted me ... tortured me. Then he enlisted one of my best friends to help him try and kill me. You were in Dauntless on visitation day. You saw the chasm. Peter dangled me over it and let go. Fortunately, I didn't fall to my death. I managed to hold onto the railing until Four saved me.

"Then Dauntless traitors recruited him to watch my every move and report back on my movements to them. Then he shocked me by announcing that he was in love with me. I was flabbergasted. He never acted like he liked me let alone _loved_ me. I made it clear to him that I didn't have any feelings for him. I thought it was the end of it until he caught me in the training room." I take a deep breath and turn my back on Porter. "He was drunk ... _very_ drunk. He beat me badly. My husband's best friend just happened to walk in during the middle of the assault or he would have raped me right then and there on the floor of the training room." I turn and look at Porter, and he has a sick look on his face. Whether it's for me or Peter, I don't know.

"He disappeared from Dauntless after that. We didn't know where he was. We captured him in early April but he escaped. Then last week, I was coming home from an appointment and was grabbed by Peter and his accomplice. They gave me memory serum to erase my life with Four and our children. I have two you know, a boy and a girl. They love me very much, and your son tried to take me away from them – tried to make a 2-year-old and 6-week-old motherless. Is that what you taught him?

"The memory serum given to me is what made me think I loved Peter, and he took full advantage of me. He had you take the forged divorce papers to Judge Hansen so that we could get married. Your son raped me. Is that what kind of man you raised and let into society?" He's staring at the floor not wanting to look at me.

"I thought you should know that Peter and I didn't have a relationship. Everything that he told you was a lie. I have no reason to say these things to you if they aren't true." He raises his head and looks at me, tears running down his face.

"You never loved him?" he asks, his voice trembling. I slowly shake my head.

"I've only ever loved one man, and he's on the other side of that door," I say pointing toward Tobias.

"I don't believe you," he says shaking his head disbelievingly. "Peter told me how scared you are of him. You got caught with my son, somehow your _husband_ killed him, and you're covering it up because you're scared of him." I look toward the floor and let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

"I'm sorry you can't accept the truth," I say. "Four has never laid a hand on me. He's the most loving, wonderful man I've ever known. He is the exact opposite of your son. I did not love Peter. I didn't even _like_ him." I turn and walk to the door. I try the knob but am locked in. I knock and Tobias immediately opens the door for me, and I walk out and straight into his arms. "It's been a long day, Tobias. I really just want to go home now."

"Maybe you should check your phone," Tobias says as we pull away from the Merciless Mart. "It seemed like someone was trying to get ahold of us earlier." I forgot all about that. I reach into my pocket and pull my phone out. I turn it back on, and it once again buzzes almost nonstop. I look at the screen and am shocked.

"I'd _say_ someone's trying to get ahold of us," I say. "I have 27 text messages and 14 voice mails." I start going through the texts and listening to the messages, which are from Will, Tori, Harrison, and Zeke. They start out innocently enough stating for me to get back with them when I can but the urgency increases with each text and voice mail but they never do say what is wrong. I dial Will's phone but don't get an answer. I then try the others but they all go straight to voice mail too. I look at Tobias. "No one is answering. I hope everything's okay." He steps down on the accelerator petal, and we get to Dauntless faster than we ever have before. He parks in front of the Pire, and we run in. We check each office and find nothing.

"Let's go home, I need to see the kids," Tobias says. "I'll call Will later." We hurry up the stairs to our apartment. I unlock the door and walk in and am surprised to find Mom and Dad on the couch with Tessa and Tyler. I didn't know he was coming over. When Tyler sees Tobias standing behind me his eyes light up, and he hurriedly gets down off Dad's lap and runs directly into Tobias' arms.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" he says, tears streaming down his face. "You home!" Tears wet Tobias' eyes as he holds his son tightly. I smile at them lovingly.

"That's right, Tyler," he says. "Mommy told you that you would see me tonight. She always keeps her promises."

"Mom, has anyone called here today?" I ask.

"Just you," she says.

"I didn't know you were coming over, Dad," I say.

"I thought I would see your mother home," he says.

"I know that I just got home, buddy, but Daddy might have to go out again," Tobias says to Tyler. Tyler's bottom lip starts quivering, and he grasps Tobias around the neck, not wanting to let his father out of his sight. At the same moment, my phone starts ringing. I look at it and see that Zeke is calling.

"It's Zeke," I say, handing the phone to Tobias. I take Tyler out of his arms after some coaxing.

"I know you missed Daddy but he's been gone from Dauntless for two whole days, he has some work to catch up on," I say as I sit on the love seat with him. He buries his head in my chest crying. I hold onto him, rubbing his back, trying to get him to calm down some. When Tobias hangs up the phone he sits down next to us and Tyler crawls into his lap and promptly falls asleep.

"Poor kid," he says, stroking his head. "He's so stressed out. Will, Tori, Harrison, and Zeke are coming over after bit. They've made a breakthrough. They now know who Nicki is."


	71. Chapter 71

"Who is she?" I ask, wanting to know who's been targeting me and my family.

"He wouldn't tell me," Tobias says. "Zeke said there's a video I need to see from Shauna's assault first."

"Maybe we should go," Mom says. "You two seem like you have some business to attend to. We can talk about what happened during the interrogations later."

"Did Dad tell you about Marcus?" I ask.

"He did," she says with a sympathetic sigh. "I'm sorry, Beatrice, Four. That must have been a low blow."

"I always suspected," Tobias quietly says, making sure he doesn't wake up Tyler. "I should have known."

"I convinced Jack and Niles that the memory serum had something to do with me remembering Marcus giving it to me," I say. "They believed me. I was afraid that _I_ wasn't going to come home tonight."

"You don't have to go," Tobias says to my parents.

"We should be getting back to Abnegation," Dad says. "I, too, have some work to catch up on. Four, don't forget about the special council meeting Thursday in Abnegation. All faction leaders are expected to be there."

"I forgot about that. Thanks for the reminder," he says. "So all five of us are needed?"

"No, just your top three," Dad says.

"Maybe I can tag along and, Mom, you can see the kids again," I say. "I was given some money today, and I would like to help with the factionless. You can tell me what I need to do."

"That would be lovely," Mom says.

"Hey, before we leave, what did you find out about your marriage?" Dad says.

"You would have been proud of Tris, Andrew," Tobias says smiling my way. "She gave them he…" he lets the word trail off. "Sorry. She wouldn't back down. She made them void the fraudulent divorce papers, which in turn nullified her marriage to Peter and reinstated ours. She wasn't going to let him win. That's where the money came from. She got his death benefit, and she's going to give half to his mother and half to charity."

"I'm surprised the city allowed that," Dad says.

"It was Jack's idea," I say. "He said it was for pain and suffering. I figured if something good could come from the situation, I should do it."

"Well, we better get going," Dad says. They get up off the couch and Mom places Tessa in my arms and she smiles when she sees me.

"Hey, little one," I say placing a kiss on her soft head.

"She will want fed around 6:30," Mom says bending over and kissing Tessa and Tyler's heads. She softly pats Tobias' and my cheek and gives us each a bright smile then takes my dad's hand. I don't think I will ever get used to seeing them touch. "We hung up the collage you gave me yesterday in the living room."

"Thank you for that," Dad says. "It was very thoughtful. I love being able to look up and see my family, especially my smiling grandkids. Are you busy Sunday?" I look at Tobias and he shakes his head.

"We don't have any plans," I say.

"Please come to our house for lunch," he says. "We will invite Caleb and Cara also. We'll make a family event of it."

"We would love to," Tobias says. "We'll be there unless something important comes up."

"Wonderful," Mom says. "I look forward to seeing all of you on Sunday. I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom," I say. Tobias just grins at her. "Say bye-bye to Grandma, Tessa." She sticks her hand in her mouth and starts sucking on her fist. I look at the clock and see that it's 6:00. It looks like she's going to be getting supper early. I get up off the couch and escort my parents out. "Thank you so much for watching the kids. I don't know what I would have done without you yesterday and today. And thanks Dad for sitting with me during the interrogations and for walking Ruth home. Was she okay?"

"She was fine, Beatrice," he says. "Try not to worry about her."

"I know," I say. "Thanks again." I close the door behind my parents and sit in the club chair. "What time will they be here?"

"They're all taking a break right now in the cafeteria. They'll be here later," he says, gently moving Tyler off his lap, lying him on the love seat as I put Tessa to my breast. She latches onto my nipple and suckles greedily. He sits down beside us and runs his hand over her head. "I will never get tired of this." He rests his head against mine for a while as he watches me nurse our daughter. "I should make us something to eat. Does anything sound good for supper?"

"Check the fridge, there might be some leftovers that Mom made," I say. He gives me a soft kiss on the lips then goes into the kitchen. I hear him rummaging through the refrigerator.

"They must have eaten it today. I don't see any chicken and vegetables," he says. "How about some bacon and eggs? That would he quick."

"That actually sounds really good to me," I say. I turn so I'm sitting sideways on the couch and watch him gather the ingredients to make us some fluffy scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, and buttery wheat toast. I close my eyes trying to dissipate the desire localizing south of my navel. When Tessa finishes, I put her in the swing and go to my husband. I turn him around and meld my body to his. He looks surprised for a split second then his mouth lands on mine in a devastatingly provocative kiss. I move my lips expertly with his then shove my tongue into his mouth and claim it as my own. I feel his hands move up my body and cover my breasts as he slides his mouth to my neck. "I changed my mind about later, in case you're wondering."

"That's good to know," he roughly says. "What changed your mind?" I wrap my arms around him and rest my head against his chest, breathing in his husky scent.

"Watching you cook," I say. "I'm surprised your pants are still on." He chuckles, pulls back, and moves his mouth toward mine but I stop him. "We better not start anything we can't finish."

"Oh, you already started something," he says growling in my ear. He takes my hand and puts it on his growing manhood.

"Oh, baby, I'm _so_ sorry," I say removing my hand. He starts chuckling then laughs loudly. I stare at him feeling less and less concerned for his discomfort.

"Did you just call me _baby_?" he asks still laughing. "You've never called me that before."

"I won't ever call you that again either," I huffily say. I go up on my tippy toes and put my mouth on his ear. "You know, I was going to help you with that," I step back and lower my eyes to the bulge in his pants then look back in his face, "but you just blew it." I kiss his cheek and go to the love seat to wake up Tyler.

"You're mean, Mrs. Eaton," he says turning his attention back to our supper. Hopefully the bacon didn't burn. "I think I'll have to punish you later."

"You wish," I say, rubbing Tyler's back to wake him. "Hey, buddy, supper's almost ready. You want to eat?" He sits up, looks around confused, and nods. "You fell asleep. Come here." I pick him up, carry him into the kitchen, and put him in his booster seat.

"Hi, Daddy," he says. "Miss you _so_ much." Tobias comes around the island and places a plate in front of him and kisses the top of the head.

"I missed you, too, buddy. Mommy told me how brave you were. I'm very proud of you." Tyler lights up at the praise. We all sit down and eat the scrumptious meal Tobias prepared.

"This is so good," I say with a satiated moan. "I wish I could make eggs like you do, Tobias."

"Thanks, I'll teach you how I make them sometime."

"Yummy, Daddy," Tyler says around a bite of eggs with a smile. We can't help but smile back at him. A knock on our door interrupts our supper and Tyler looks at me expectantly while Tobias opens it to our many guests.

"Mommy and Daddy had our work come to us instead of Daddy leaving," I say. "We don't want you to be sad. We love you."

"I love you," he says. "Daddy, too." I kiss his head.

"Sorry guys, we're just finishing up supper," Tobias says. "Find a place to sit. Tris and I will be with you in a minute." I set Tyler on his feet after I wipe off his face, and he runs into the living room to say hi to everyone. Zeke scoops him up in his arms making him laugh hysterically.

"I'll clean up the kitchen. You take care of business," I say as I pull him in for a kiss. He shakes his head at me and puts his lips against my ear.

"I haven't quite recovered from that last scorcher you laid on me," he says and I can't help but blush. He smirks and kisses the top of my head. "Later."

"Later," I say with a smile.

"So tell me, what have I missed while I was locked up in Candor?" Tobias asks as he goes into the living room. Zeke puts Tyler down and he gets some toys to play with.

"We're really sorry we had to do that," Tori says. "Obviously you confirmed that you didn't do it under truth serum or you wouldn't be here."

"I was set up plain and simple," he says. "Tris and I think it was Nicki and her minions."

"Awe the infamous Nicki," Zeke says. "We're pretty sure we have an idea of who she is now."

"Who _is_ she?" I ask from the kitchen as I'm putting dishes in the dishwasher. "She's messing with my family. I would like to know why."

"When I looked at the security footage of Shauna's attack, I thought I recognized her," Zeke says. "Then when I was shown her composite, I was completely sure. Four, do you remember that double date I set up for us shortly after initiation ended a few years ago?"

"Date?" I ask raising my eyebrows.

"There's no time for jealousy, Tris," Zeke impatiently says. I don't think I'm jealous just curious. I never knew about him going out on a date before me.

"Um, Nicole right?" Tobias says. Nicole?

"You dated a girl named _Nicole_ and you didn't think it was pertinent?" I ask.

"First of all, I actually forgot all about her," he says sheepishly. I give him a condescending look. How do you forget someone you date? "Second, you can't call it a date, Tris. Basically, Zeke wanted to go out with some girl and she wouldn't go unless he could find a friend for hers. I honestly wasn't given a choice if I remember correctly." I look at Zeke with raised brows and a sheepish look crosses his face. "The date lasted less than five minutes. Apparently, I was insensitive. I met up with Shauna afterward."

"I didn't know that," Zeke says.

"There's a lot you didn't know from that time because you were being an _idiot_ ," Shauna says.

"So Nicki is this Nicole person, right?" I say.

"That's just it, she's not," Zeke says. I look at him confused. "Watch this, Four." He hands Tobias his phone with the video ready to play. I walk up next to him and watch it again. When it finishes, he hands the phone back to Zeke.

"I have no idea who that is," Tobias says.

"That is _my_ date, Maria," he says. I rub my head as it starts to throb painfully.

"Four, you're sure you don't know her?" I inquire. He shakes his head. "Then would someone please tell me why this perfect stranger seems to be targeting Four and me?" The room falls silent. "You sent us 27 texts and 14 voice messages and all you had for us was the first name Maria?"

"We've had a long day," Tobias starts to say.

" _Don't_ apologize for me, Four," I gruffly say. "There's a psycho woman drugging men in Dauntless, who also tried to kill my father. She helped Peter kidnap me and then she killed him and framed my husband, trying to take him away from me. I. Want. To. Know. _Why_." Tobias pulls me into his arms, and I instantly calm. I pull away from him with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, guys. I didn't mean to freak out on you." Every eye in the room looks at me like they're afraid I'm in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

"Here are the facts we know," Will says as I get Tessa out of the swing and sit down on the couch with her. "Maria Burke works as a computer programmer. She has the skills to hack the control room cameras. We confirmed that fact with Lauren Jones. We went to her job and to her apartment but no one has seen her in a day or two. We checked her file, which is clean. She's an only child who grew up in Dauntless. Her father died when she was 6 years old and her mother passed away shortly after she became a member nearly three years ago. We checked her initiation class roster, which includes Zeke, Shauna, Four, and Eric but there was no Nicole. Four, do you remember her last name?"

"I don't think I ever knew it," Tobias says. "We literally talked for less than five minutes before she stormed off. I was getting ready to go home when I ran into Shauna. Didn't we go to the training room?"

"We did," Shauna says. "Zeke had his tongue shoved down Maria's throat. I needed to work off some steam."

"How many times do I have to say that I'm sorry," Zeke says throwing his hands up in the air. "I had my head up my ass then. You know you're the only woman I've ever loved."

"I don't like being reminded of your past girlfriends and here she is terrorizing Dauntless, _and_ she drugged me," Shauna says. "It kind of makes me crazy."

"Can we get back to the matter at hand?" Tori exasperatedly asks.

"Did you put any surveillance on Maria's apartment?" Tobias asks in full leader mode.

"No we didn't," Will says. "We did ask her supervisor to contact one of us if she shows up to work."

"Zeke, I need you to look into whether or not there's a camera near her apartment so that we can watch her comings and goings," Tobias says. "Do you remember any of her other friends names?"

"No, I don't," he says. Tobias sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"Did you look through the initiate rosters a couple years either side of Marie's for a Nicole?" I ask.

"Just one year," Harrison says.

"Go back an additional two years and see if there's a Nicole and check middle names on all the rosters if you haven't done so yet," I say. "Is there anything else you guys can tell us?" I look around the room and see everyone shaking their heads.

"I hate to cut this short but I wasn't lying earlier when I said we've had a long day," Tobias says. "My father is not going to be held responsible for Tris' kidnapping so we are a little shook."

"What the hell happened?" Will asks. They don't know I can manipulate serums, and I'm not sure how they will react so I decide on my cover story.

"The memory serum must have confused me," I say. "It's all I can figure out."

"We'll get out of your hair," Tori says. "Take the morning off, Four. How about we meet in your office at 1 p.m., and we'll go over everything that's happened in your absence. I'm glad you're back."

"Thanks, Tori," he says. "Andrew reminded me of the special council meeting Thursday. Harrison, we'll need you to hold down the fort while the rest of us are in Abnegation. Tori, Will, and I will be at the meeting and Tris and the kids will be with her mom."

"Thanks for the reminder," Tori says. "I had forgotten all about that. See you tomorrow."

"Bye," Tyler says from the base of the stairs. He's such a good boy. He's been playing quietly with his dump truck and fire engine the entire time we've had company.

"I need a better goodbye than that," Zeke says. Tyler gets up and runs into his arms for hugs and kisses. "Bye, kiddo."

"Bye-bye," he says with a yawn. Everyone says their goodbyes to Tyler then leave us alone. Tobias sighs and sits down beside me.

"Daddy, I sleepy," Tyler says, rubbing his eyes.

"Come here, buddy," Tobias says. Tyler crawls up on his dad's lap and lays his head on his shoulder watching me.

"Why don't you close your eyes and go night-night?" I ask, kissing his cheek.

"Mommy and Daddy will both be here when you wake up," Tobias says.

"Otay," Tyler says, his eyes fluttering shut.

"Why don't you take him upstairs and put him to bed," I say. "Come back down and we'll talk until this one's needs fed then I believe you have a promise to keep." He smiles at me and gives me a quick kiss.

"Goodnight, buddy," I say then give him a kiss on the head.

"'Night, Mommy," he says but doesn't open his eyes. Tobias gets up and carries him upstairs to change him into his pajamas and tuck him in. I look into Tessa's peacefully sleeping face and smile. I put her in the bassinet then sit down in the middle of the couch. I lean back into the comfortable cushions and rest my tired eyes. I smile when I feel Tobias' lips on my neck. I sigh as I lift my hand to cup his head. "I thought we were supposed to be talking."

"I'm not sure I want to talk about my father," he says, his lips moving against my skin.

"I think we should," I say. He groans then leans back against the couch and pulls me close to his side. "I never would have thought he was Divergent, Tobias. He's like me."

"He's _nothing_ like you. You are loving, giving, selfless, strong, good-natured. No, you two are nothing alike," he says. "It crossed my mind once or twice that he might be Divergent. I know he suspected I was. He must have seen something in me that reminded him of himself."

"He could lie though like me," I say. "I almost fell out of my seat when he denied giving me the memory serum. Do you think he'll come after me again? There's nothing we can do unless he's caught red-handed and even then he could talk is way out of it."

"I don't know," he says. "You threw him when you apologized and said you were mistaken. Good thinking by the way."

"It was all I could think to do under the circumstances," I say. "I imagine he was hoping I would be arrested for making false accusations. It seems like he wants us apart." I turn my head and look up into his eyes. "Do you think anything he said under the serum was true?"

"It may be terrible for me to say but I could really care less," he says.

"What if he wasn't lying about wanting a relationship with you and the kids?" I ask. "Is it fair to deny the kids their grandfather? Do you think you could ever forgive him?"

"Do you actually want our children associating with that monster? He helped kidnap you then lied about it. He beat the hell out of me every chance he got until I ran away from him. No, my kids will _never_ know him, Tris," he says, very upset now.

"Calm down," I say, reaching up and gliding my fingertips down his face, trying to smooth out his troubled expression. "I don't want him to have anything to do with them either. I don't want there to ever be a possibility that he hurts them like he hurt you."

"Or you," he says. "Besides they have a grandma and grandpa who love them very much and they also have all the Dauntless members like Hana who love them unconditionally. They don't need Marcus."

"I didn't mean to upset you," I say. "I don't want them around your father either but I don't like the city thinking I keep you and the kids away from him."

"We know the truth," he says. "That's all that matters."

"You're right," I say. I decide to change the subject. "We're getting closer to knowing the truth about Nicki, I mean _Maria_."

"I have no idea why an ex of Zeke's would be targeting us," he says, confusion all over his face. "I barely remember either one of them. Does that make me terrible?"

"No," I say. "I've met people and don't remember them. I thought I would be jealous learning you dated someone before me but I wasn't."

"We didn't _date_ , Tris," he says. "I swear. We were making awkward small talk when I inadvertently insulted her, and she stormed off. I didn't want to be Zeke and Maria's third wheel so I was going to go home, which, by the way, is where I wanted to be in the first place. I wasn't much of a social butterfly. At the time, Shauna and I were closer than Zeke and I were."

"I think I remember you mentioning that to me before," I say. I hear noises and look toward the bassinet and can see Tessa squirming around.

"Let me get her," he says. I move away from him and he gets up and picks her up. "Hello, my beautiful little princess. Is it my imagination or are your eyes looking more and more like your mommy's?" He changes her diaper then brings her to me. I look into her perfect little face, and she looks like a feminine version of her brother complete with my eyes, although they are still darker than mine. "You know, no one would ever guess that Tyler and Tessa were adopted by their looks."

"I wonder how we got so lucky for them to look so much like you," I say. I study his face and he furrows his eyebrows at me. "Even though I don't see it, the three of you must look like Evelyn."  
"We have her coloring," he says, "except for our eyes."

"You have your father's eyes and Tyler and this one has Ethan's," I say. "You have beautiful eyes, Tobias. At least he gave you that." He leans over and gives me a kiss.

"Let's not talk about Marcus anymore unless we absolutely have to," he says.

"My parent's will want an explanation," I say.

"They know you weren't confused," he says. "I imagine they already figured out that he's Divergent. Our daughter looks hungry." I look down at her and she's sucking on my shirt.

"You hungry, Tessa," I say and she moves her eyes to mine. "She knows her name! I thought it was too early for that." She jumps when I raise my voice.

"I told you she's a genius," Tobias says.

"Did Mommy scare you?" I say. "I'm sorry."

"I'm going to leave you two and go upstairs and get ready for bed," he says putting his lips to mine. He gives me a soft, tender, love-filled kiss then disappears up the stairs.

"Are you ready to eat, little one?" I say. I watch her and it seems like it might be a little early yet so I take advantage of this time to cuddle with her. After about 10 minutes, she's ready to nurse, so I put her to my breast and lean my head back in the chair and close my eyes. She needs very little coaching anymore. I probably could do this in my sleep. Sometimes it feels like I am. I raise my head and look down at her, and she looks up at me with shining, smiling eyes. "Do you love your mommy 'cause she loves you so much? Yes, I do. My life wouldn't be complete without you. I'm glad I made the decision to adopt you and your brother." She eats until her little tummy is full than she promptly falls asleep. She's such a good baby. I carry her upstairs and into her room where I change her into a cute little pink sleeper with patchwork hearts all over it and put her in bed. I turn her monitor on, kiss her on a chubby little cheek, and head across the hall into Tyler's room. He's sound asleep in the middle of the bed, and I tuck him in again and softly kiss his forehead and make sure his nightlight is on then head into the bathroom. I strip down, putting my clothes in the hamper, pile my hair on top of my head and decide on a quick shower. I step into the small cave-like space and let the hot water beat down on my body erasing all the tension of the anxiety-invoking interviews. I step out of the shower and thoroughly dry myself off with one of my thick, fluffy towels then decide there's no need for pajamas when Tobias will just take them off so I walk into our bedroom without any clothes on. I lock the door behind me and walk to the bed.

"Tobias?" I ask and only hear the steady rhythm of his breathing. He fell asleep. I stand rooted in place for a moment wondering if I should wake him up then decide against it. He needs his rest. Two nights in a Candor holding room couldn't have been comfortable. I walk across the room and get out my one and only nightgown and slide it over my head and unlock our bedroom door. I slide into bed beside my husband, not realizing just how tired I am and immediately drift off to sleep.


	72. Chapter 72

"Mommy. _Mommy_. _MOMMY_!" Tyler impatiently says waking me from a dead sleep.

"What, _what_?" I ask as I try to focus my eyes on him but it's difficult. I was really sleeping hard.

"I need a dwink."

"Oh. Okay, buddy," I say, sliding out of bed. I yawn widely as I take him by the hand and lead him into the bathroom so I can get him a drink. I sit down on the toilet while he sips the paper cup full of water. "Are you okay? You didn't have a bad dream or anything did you?"

"No, just need a dwink," he tiredly says. I wonder what time it is. I don't remember feeding Tessa yet but I was out like a light. "Hewe." He hands me the cup and I put it on the edge of the sink in case he needs another drink later. I pick him up, and he lays his head on my shoulder and drapes his arms down my back. I carry him out of the bathroom and down the hallway to his bedroom. It sure is dark. When I enter his bedroom there is only the faintest of glows coming from his nightlight.

"Did you get scared because it's so dark?" I ask. He nods his head against my shoulder. I carefully put him back in his bed and pull the blanket up around him securely. I kiss his little forehead and brush the hair out of his eyes. "I will be right back with a new lightbulb." I go to the linen closet in the bathroom and fetch a new bulb for his nightlight so I can switch it out. Once the final twist tightens the bulb, I turn the little light back on, and it partially lights up the room. I look toward Tyler but he already has his eyes shut in a peaceful sleep. I give him another quick peck and go into Tessa's room to check on her. She's lying in the middle of her crib with her hand in her mouth, chewing like it's the best tasting thing in the world.

I pick her up and she coos softly at me. I place her on her changing table and bend over to retrieve a diaper, and when I stand back up she's lying on her side. Oh, she's trying to roll over! I have to watch her closely when I lie her on this table. I don't want her to fall off.

"Are you trying to roll over, little one?" I say to her as I roll her onto her back so I can change her diaper. She smiles at me but doesn't take her hand out of her mouth. "Poor girl, are you hungry. Does your arm taste good?" When I finish with the diaper I pick her up and toss it away. I then sit us down in her rocking chair and begin to feed her. Before switching breasts, I put her up to my shoulder, and after patting her back for a minute, she lets out a huge burp. "You must get _that_ from your father." I chuckle softly as she latches onto my other nipple. I start rocking us back and forth, trying to lull her into sleep. After her belly is full once again, I put her against my shoulder and rock her until I recognize the peaceful rhythm of sleep in her rising and falling chest. I gently place her in the crib on her side and kiss her head. "I love you, little one. Sleep tight."

I stop by the bathroom before going back to bed. Once I cross the threshold of my bedroom my stomach tightens with desire thinking about Tobias' promise. I didn't wake him earlier but I'm going to now. I softly close the door, trying not to make a sound. I turn the deadbolt, locking us inside. I walk to my side of the bed and pull my nightgown off over my head and let it fall at my feet. I slide between the soft sheets and press my body up against Tobias' and realize something. He doesn't have anything on either. I was so tired earlier, I didn't recognize the feel of his naked body. I must have been thoroughly exhausted not to notice something like that.

I place my lips against the sensitive spot beneath his right ear and kiss gently while I let my hand glide over his body with the softest of touches. After a few minutes of my special attention, the steady rise and fall of his chest becomes disrupted and his breathing becomes erratic and labored. I slowly trail my hand further down his hard body and feel his burgeoning erection, which brings a smile to my lips. I move the covers off of us, and I start kissing my way down his body. I stop and tease his erect nipples for a long moment, eliciting a groan from deep in his throat before continuing down.

"Tris?" he asks, confusion and sleep evident in his husky voice. "What ... what are you doing?" Now that I know he's awake, we can really have some fun. I take his hard manhood in my hand, moving it up and down and leisurely run my tongue from the base up to circle the head at an achingly slow pace, and he groans loudly. I continue bathing him with my saliva, feeling him grow harder and longer in my stroking fist as I run my free hand lightly up his leg and rest it on his heaving rock hard abs. He moves his hand down, covering mine, and laces our fingers together, squeezing my hand.

I finally take him fully into my mouth and start the perfect synchronized rhythm of my mouth, tongue, and hand that I know he loves. I start out slow, teasing, letting his arousal climb. Soon his hips are coming off the bed, sending his shaft further into my mouth. I tighten my grip on his hot swollen flesh and increase the tantalizing pace. He grasps my hand painfully tight as he twists the sheets with his other. I feel him swell impossibly larger in my mouth, and he lets out a long, low, guttural moan, which causes a ripple of pleasure to race through my body. I moan around his throbbing hardness, and he raises his hips higher and gives in to the pleasure, flooding my mouth with a white-hot eruption. I swallow his seed then move my mouth off of him.

I tease him with my tongue for a while more before I kiss my way back up his body, stopping at his rock-hard, pebble-like nipples. I dart my tongue out of my mouth and circle one bud teasingly until I draw it into my mouth, alternating between sucking, nibbling, and licking the sensitive flesh. He moans and puts his hands on either side of my head. He holds me to him while I switch between the right and left nipples.

Soon he's dragging me up his body until his velvety soft lips land on mine in a fevered, savage kiss. He rolls us so that he is lying above me but quickly moves himself off of me so that he isn't putting any pressure on my expanding abdomen. He lies to the left of me, and I feel him start grazing the very tip of his nose over the sensitive skin of my neck. I close my eyes and sigh while his lips place sweet kisses here and there and his hands casually roam up and down my naked body.

"Are you upset I woke you?" I breathlessly ask and I feel his lips turn up into a smile directly below my ear.

"Not at all, love," he roughly says. "That was one hell of a way to be woken up. I'll have to return the favor one day." His hands are moving everywhere at once, making me hotter than I've ever felt, like I'm going to spontaneously combust at any moment. I turn my head slightly and his lips land on mine in an urgent kiss. I open my mouth when his tongue glides along my bottom lip and he moans loudly. He slides his tongue between my parted lips and searches for mine. Once they meet we let them tangle together familiarly.

"Maybe we should just go back to sleep," he says as his hand finds the warmth between my legs. My breathing starts to come in urgent gasps as he gently caresses me.

"You actually … have the nerve … to say that … while your hand is … doing that." The words come out rough and breathy. I gasp loudly, and he chuckles in my ear. My knees fall open, giving him better access to my wonderland. He gently inserts his calloused middle finger into my already moist center and kisses the sensitive spot beneath my left ear.

"I told you I was going to punish you," he says as he slowly slides his finger back and forth within my tight depths. I put my hands on either sides of his face and pull his mouth back to mine for a soft, intense kiss. Our lips and tongues move together like we are two halves of the same whole. "You like this, don't you?"

"Mm-hmm," I moan, moving my hips in rhythm with his probing finger.

"I thought you did," he says as he adds a second finger and increases the pace.

"Oh, God, Tobias!" I say. He kisses his way down my body, never slowing his fingers one bit. He darts his tongue out of his hot, wet mouth and lands on my aching bundle of nerves and I call out. He draws it into his mouth and sucks gently causing me to arch my back and curl my toes. My breath gets caught in my throat as I slip over the edge. A scream of ecstasy escapes my lips and Tobias abruptly removes his searching digits but doesn't slow his tongue once iota. I flop back on the bed, spasms of pleasure moving through me at a rapid rate. I feel the sweat dripping of my body as he moves me closer to a second summit. He moves his tongue over my aching bundle of nerves with a ghost-like touch until I erupt with soul-shattering intensity. My stomach-muscles tighten painfully as my shoulders come off the bed. I hold Tobias' head in place until he finally stops his ministrations, and I collapse onto the bed for the second time in just as many minutes. My breath is coming fast and hard, and I finally manage to pull in a lungful of air to relieve the ache in my chest. He gets off the bed and grabs me by the ankles and pulls me to the edge.

"Tobias!" I scream, alarmed.

"Sorry, are you okay?" he huskily asks.

"Yeah," I say. "You just startled me."

"I didn't mean to," he says. I feel him place himself at my entrance and enter me an inch, maybe two then back out. He runs the tip of his throbbing manhood over my aching nubbin, and I gasp loudly. "Do you want me, Tris?" He continues with his teasing, and I start writhing on the bed in lust. "I want you." I'm not sure I can answer him because of the pain I'm feeling at the moment in my aching chest.

"God, yes, I want you," I manage to whisper.

"Good," he says as he plunges into my depths with one powerful thrust. I gasp at the feeling of having him fully inside me once again. He stills himself and takes my legs, which are hanging over the side of the bed and bends my knees, placing my feet at the edge of the mattress. This opens me further for him, allowing him easier access. He starts slowly gliding in and out of the stretching walls of my body with the assistance of my excitement. I give myself over to him, and he doesn't disappoint.

He delves deeper into me with each rhythmic push, and I raise my hips to meet each and every one of his powerful thrusts. I feel the familiar stirring of an eminent release right below my navel and he senses it too, increasing our pace marginally. He leans over me, not putting any pressure on my tummy and I wrap my arms around his neck and relish the feel of his lips on mine as he makes love to me. God, how I love this man. He's the only one for me. We increase our tempo, moving together simultaneously. What I want, he gives and vice versa. We complement each other perfectly.

"I love how you feel so deep inside me," I whisper into his ear. He moves his mouth to mine again and kisses me with reckless abandon, our bodies and spirits moving together like we are one being.

"I love you," he says when he pulls his mouth away from mine, his long strokes shortening, signaling to me that his release is approaching.

"You're all I ever want," I say, moving my hips up to meet his in a synchronized tango. He moves up onto his arms and pounds into me with a frenzied fervor. I arch my body toward his as our hips collide in perfect rhythm. "Oh, _shit_ , Tobias! I'm going to come!" When the rhythm increases yet again, I feel a burst of excitement, and I cry out in fulfillment. He rides my body like he owns it, which he does until he tosses his head back with a primal scream of his own and releases himself into me. He starts to collapse on top of me after he totally empties himself but stops at the last moment, pulling out of me and falling beside me on his back. I let my feet slip off the end of the bed and will my pounding heart to slow so I can breathe again.

"Damn, Tris," he roughly says, his chest still heaving with exertion, "that was amazing." I place my lips to his and kiss him passionately as I move my hand to his chest and roll his distended nipple between my nimble fingers, not done playing yet. "You're going to make me hard again if you keep touching me like that."

"Would that be a bad thing?" I ask, nibbling on his ear.

"You're killing me," he roughly says. "What's gotten into you tonight or should I say this morning?" I move my hand slowly down his body then wrap my fingers around his softening manhood.

"If I'm not mistaken, _you_ got into me," I say with a giggle, releasing him, and lightly raking my nails back up his body. I cup his cheek and I move his mouth to mine, kissing him with hope, hope of making love again. He rolls toward me and runs his hand up my body and tangles it in my hair.

"Vixen!" he says.

"Alright, I will tell you," I say still giggling. "Your pregnant wife was feeling … there's no other word for it … _horny_." He starts laughing loudly. " _Sshh_! You'll wake Tyler, and he was already up once."

"Sorry," he says, still chuckling. "Horny? Damn it, woman. You're making me want you again."

"I thought you always wanted me," I whine in his ear. I push him onto his back and straddle his hips. "If you want me … you can have me." A growl comes from deep within his chest as his hands rest on my waist. I grind my hips to his and feel his length hardening beneath me. "I still want you, Tobias. I haven't had enough." He sits up, and I wrap my arms around his neck. He moves his mouth toward mine then teasingly pulls away at the last second. I capture his head and tangle my fingers in his hair. I pull him toward me and touch my lips to his. I thrust my tongue through his parted lips and slowly mate it with his.

"I love you so much, Beatrice Grace Eaton," he says. "What would I do without you?"

"You'll never have to learn," I say. "I love you, too. Make love to me, Tobias."

"Anything you want," he says.

"No, baby. Only if it's what you truly want also," I say. He puts his mouth on my left ear, sucking lightly on the lobe and I moan loudly.

"Of course I want to," he says as he moves both his hands up my body and covers my aching breasts. "You were right earlier, I always ache for you. The simple act of thinking about you makes me hard. It can be quite embarrassing at times. Seeing your perfect body, your seductive smile, your sparkling eyes ... it makes me nuts. If I could live inside you, only then would I be completely satisfied." He gently kneads the aching flesh in his hands, and my breath catches in my throat. His words hit me between my thighs and I physically ache for him. He lies back bringing me down with him then quickly turns us so that he's lying above me. He slides his body to lie beside mine, never taking his mouth off my neck, and I feel his hands everywhere at once raising my body temperature rapidly. I let out a moan of pleasure and his mouth lands on mine once again.

I turn my head to the side and I say, "I can't wait, Tobias. Put it in me now. _Please_. I need to feel you inside me now."

"On your hands and knees?" he asks, questioning which position. Right now I don't care, I just want him. I get up on all fours in the middle of the bed at his request, and he kneels behind me. He enters me agonizingly slow, an inch at a time. When he is fully seated within me, he withdraws just as slowly then slides back home.

"Mmmmm," comes out of my mouth when he sets an unhurried, leisurely pace. He is taking his time, giving us more pleasure than we know what to do with. Soon my arms feel like jelly, and I know if I don't relieve the pressure they're going to give out on me. I lift the top half of my body until I am on my knees in front of him. The small change in our position changes how we both feel the other. He lets out a deep, gruff growl at the same time a husky moan escapes the back of my throat.

He increases our tempo as he wraps his arms around my body, softly gliding his fingers over every inch. I turn my head and search for his lips. They land on mine, and he gives me a kiss that nearly sets me ablaze. His tongue searches every inch of my mouth, making love to it at the same pace his pounding length is plunging in and out of my body. One hand slowly inches its way down my body and starts moving over my nubbin with a delicate touch. I break our kiss and lie my head back on his shoulder and he puts his lips on my neck, kissing, nipping, and teasing.

He pushes me forward until I'm once again I'm on all fours in front of him, and he quickens the pace even further but I begin to feel the familiar ache in my arms so I spread my legs further and lean over onto my folded arms like I saw in the pamphlet Isobel gave me. Tobias reaches up and grabs a pillow, never varying his pace. I lift my body, and he slides it underneath my arms. That's better. He rubs my back as he rocks into me with long, deep, steady strokes. At this angle, I swear he's reaching places within my body he's never touched before. He increases the pace, our need overwhelming us both. I gently push back every time he thrusts forward to intensify our pleasure. He wraps himself around me and kisses my neck.

"I love you," he roughly says in my ear. "You feel so good. You're so tight." I clench down on his hard shaft then release. "Ooooohhhhh."

"Love you, too," I breathlessly say. I want to pour my heart out to him in this moment but I don't have enough breath to do so. He places kisses all around my neck and then presses his lips into the Dauntless tattoo on my shoulder. He slips his hand around my thigh and up between my legs. He starts a gentle circular pressure on my throbbing nubbin, and wave after wave of sheer ecstasy crash over me. "OhmyGod, _OhmyGod_ , _OH. MY. GOD!_ " His thrusts shorten and become more frantic as his release approaches but his fingers never once miss their mark. I'm shaking and shivering as I spasm uncontrollably around his length. He leans back, places both hand on my hips, holding me still, and slams into me an impressive rate until he grunts loudly and releases himself into me. He collapses onto my body, and we fall together onto our sides still joined. I grasp one of his arms and wrap it securely around me as I let my heaving chest slow. "Maybe we should get some sleep. Should we get dressed?"

"No," he says. "I've missed the feeling of sleeping next to you with just the feel of our skin on one another." He wraps his arms around me, pulling me close. I love feeling his body wrapped around mine. I never feel safer with him then I do in moments like these. "This reminds me of our honeymoon."

"Speaking of our honeymoon, we need to hang up our painting," I say. "I miss the lighthouse. Don't get me wrong, I love our children just as much as I love you, and I wouldn't give up being their mother for anything but I miss being able to make love to you whenever and wherever the mood strikes." He holds me tight, gently caressing my forehead with the tips of his calloused fingers and we're quiet for a while.

"I fell asleep earlier, didn't I?" he quietly asks, his mouth pressed up in my ear. If he's not careful he's going to stoke the fires of desire again.

"Yeah," I say. "I thought about waking you when I came to bed but I knew you needed your rest."

"What made you change your mind?" he says, moving to glide his hand up my naked body.

"I already told you," I say as he withers and slides out of me. I roll in his arms so I can look at him.

"Horny?" he says with a chuckle. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, my husband," I say. He moves his mouth to mine when I hear Tessa start whining loudly in the baby monitor. I look at the clock and realize we've been at it for hours. "I need to feed our daughter and Tyler is going to be awake again soon.

"I could feed her," he says. "You could get some more sleep."

"Thanks for the offer," I say sliding out of bed and retrieving my nightgown after I give him a quick kiss. "But you're the one who has to work this afternoon. Try to go back to sleep." I get him a pair of sleep pants out of his dresser drawer and hand them to him as I give him another tender kiss. "I love you, Tobias. Get some sleep."

I unlock my bedroom door leaving Tobias to get dressed alone and head into the hallway just as Tessa starts crying loudly. I head into her bedroom and Tyler is standing crib side telling her that everything is going to be okay.

"Did she wake you up, buddy?" I ask. He whirls around when he hears the sound of my voice and his bottom lip starts quivering. "Did I scare you?" He nods his head. "I'm sorry. Mommy didn't mean to scare you. Why don't you go get in bed with Daddy? He needs some company. I've got to feed your sister." I pick up her and she instantly calms down. It seems like she's needing attention more than anything at the moment. Tyler turns and runs down the hallway. I hear Tobias talking to him as I change Tessa's wet diaper. I take her downstairs and start a pot of coffee then sit down in the club chair to nurse her. I look around my dimly lit living room while she eats trying to figure out where to hang our lighthouse painting but don't see an appropriate place. It looks like we'll have to hang it in the bedroom. That will be perfect.

"What are you doing down here?" Tobias asks from the staircase.

"Feeding Tessa," I say. "Why aren't you in bed?"

"I smelled the coffee," he says. "It sounded better than sleeping without you."

"You should be in bed," I say. "You have to work today."

"Not until this afternoon, and the others are used to me sleep walking through meetings," he says going into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. He comes back to the living room and sits down on the end of the couch and sips his steaming mug of coffee.

"Did Tyler go back to sleep?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says. "I put him back in his bed."

"Did he tell you why I sent him into our room?" I ask.

"No," he says.

"He was standing at Tessa's crib telling her everything was going to be okay," I say with a chuckle. "He's such a good boy. We're raising him right, aren't we?"

"Yes, we are," he says, yawning loudly.

"Why don't you go back to bed?" I ask.

"Not without you," he says.

"Lie down on the couch then," I say. "You need some sleep." He drains the mug and sets it on a coaster on the end table then stretches out on the couch and closes his eyes. I watch him as I finish feeding Tessa, and I marvel at the man I get to call husband. He's near perfection. I can't imagine my life without him. I put Tessa in the bassinet after she finishes since she looks like she could easily fall back to sleep then look at Tobias. "Do you want some company?" He opens his eyes and smiles at me. He rolls onto his side, and I lie down beside him. He wraps his arms around me, and we fall together into a peaceful sleep.


	73. Chapter 73

"I need you to be quiet," Tobias softly says after I hear Tyler laughing loudly. "Mommy needs to get some more sleep."

"I be quiet," Tyler says just above a whisper and I smile. I inhale deeply and smell something delicious, and I drag open my tired eyes and sit up. "Oh, _no_! Mommy waked up."

"It's okay," I say stretching as I get up off the couch. I fold the fuzzy gray throw Tobias must have put over me, put it in the storage closet, and walk into the kitchen. I kiss the top of Tyler's head and sit down next to him. "I think the food woke me up. I'm starving."

"I wonder why?" Tobias asks with a chuckle giving me a look that makes the blood boil in my veins, and I blush violently. He sets a plate full of waffles, bacon, and fluffy scrambled eggs in front of me and slowly lowers his lips to mine. "Good morning, love. Thank you so much for last night. I needed that." I smile as his lips land on mine. Our mouths move together slowly, sensually. I know we have to stop this before we can't so I pull my lips away from his. I glide the back of my fingers down his cheek and smile at him.

"It was my pleasure, Tobias," I say. "I love you." He clears his throat and shakes his head a little. He walks to the other side of the island and makes himself a plate then comes back to sit beside me. We eat in near silence enjoying the wonderful breakfast that he made for all of us.

"What would you guys like to do this morning?" Tobias asks once we have the kitchen cleaned up. "We could go to the training room. I would like to teach Tyler some moves." I tense up at the thought of going there. "I'm sorry. Am I being insensitive?"

"That's not it," I say. "What if there are people there shooting or throwing knives. I don't want Tyler or Tessa to get hurt, Tobias."

"We'll steer clear of that end of the room," he says. "We'll work out on the bags. Tessa can sit in the stroller. We'll be fine."

"Okay," I say. "But if I sense any danger at all, my kids are getting the hell out of there."

"I'm behind you 100%," he says pulling me into his arms. He lowers his voice and adds, "Are _you_ okay with going there for a couple hours. I don't want to stress you out."

"It's fine," I say. "If I want to train initiates, I've got to start going _into_ the room. It's a little hard to show someone how to hold a weapon properly from the other side of the door. I was doing great ... _before_. I haven't been there _since_. Why don't you take Tyler upstairs and get ready. You two can head down. I'm going to feed Tessa then we'll meet you."

"Um," he says growling a bit. "The last time I let you out of my sight, you got kidnapped. I'm not sure I like this idea."

"We can't be together 24/7, Tobias," I say. "Go. Tessa and I will be fine."

"Alright but I won't breathe easily until you're by my side again," he says. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. I get Tessa out of her swing and sit down on the couch to feed her. I stare out the window at the city while she eats. Just after I switch breasts, Tyler and Tobias come back downstairs dressed in matching black tank tops, sweatpants, and black running shoes. I look each one of them up and down.

"You have no idea how much you two look like each other," I say with a bright smile. "I love your outfits."

"Thanks, Mommy," Tyler brightly says. Tobias winks at me.

"Alright, buddy, let's go," he says. Tyler frowns.

"Mommy and Tess coming?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'll be down once Tessa finishes eating and we get ready," I say. "You have fun with Daddy." This explanation seems to makes him happy. I reach out and brush his hair out of his eyes. Tobias leans over and gives me a kiss and lovingly runs his hand over Tessa's head.

"Bye, Mommy," Tyler shouts as they head out the door.

"See you soon, Tris," Tobias says. When I hear the door shut and lock I pick up my phone and shoot a quick text message to Christina asking who she recommends to cut Tyler's hair now that she doesn't work in the salon. I must have insulted her because she tells me that only _she_ is allowed to cut my families hair so I make arrangements to meet with her in the salon after lunch not only to cut Tyler's hair but to take out the extensions that have been in my hair since the wedding and to cut it. Maybe it's time for yet another change. I don't know. I haven't made up my mind yet.

When Tessa finishes I take her upstairs, change her diaper, and dress her in the cutest little outfit. I wish I had something that matched Tobias and Tyler's but I don't. Instead I pick out a new black onsie trimmed in soft pink covered in white polka dots with a pink crown that says Lil' Princess, a soft pink ruffled tulle skirt, soft pink headband with a black and white polka dot bow, and matching black and white polka dot shoes with a soft pink rosette that I bought the last time I went shopping. It's still a bit too big but it's adorable. I lay her in her crib while I take a quick shower. When I finish, I wrap myself up in a big fluffy towel and go into her room and find her on her stomach. She rolled over, and I missed it. Tears gather in my eyes, and I stare at her, willing her to do it again while I'm watching but she doesn't move. I pick her up and hold her close.

"You're getting so big," I say. "I wish you could stay little forever." I place a kiss on her forehead then carry her into my bedroom. I carefully lie her in the bassinet while I dress in a pair of black yoga pants, black and gray striped racer-back tank top that easily stretches to accommodate my growing abdomen, and my black running shoes. I towel dry my hair and throw it up on top of my head in a messy bun then grab her black stroller and carry it downstairs and place it by the door. I pack the diaper bag, pick Tessa up, and head downstairs. I double check to make sure that I have everything, open the front door then heave the bag over my left shoulder, securely hold Tessa in my right arm, and pick up the stroller with my left hand. I set it down in the hallway and secure the door behind me. I manage to carry everything down the stairs at once then set up the stroller. Thank goodness it's designed to go into position with just one hand. I put Tessa into the cradle-like seat and store the diaper bag at the bottom. I push her down the familiar path to the Pit saying hello to numerous members keeping an eye out for Nicki, many of them stopping me to catch a glimpse of my girl. They "ooh" and "awe" all over the place, and I can't help but beam at them. I am a proud mother after all. The walk should take me about 5 maybe 10 minutes but ends up taking me a full half hour.

When I step through the door, the familiar smell of dirt, sweat, and metal hits me in the face and I nearly stop breathing. Panic rises within me, and I close my eyes. I breathe deeply trying to calm my racing heart and remind myself that Peter Hayes will never hurt me again. Once I feel the anxiety subside, I look around until I find Tobias and Tyler at the far end of the room. I look toward my right but don't see anyone taking target practice this morning, and this makes me feel better also.

"Mommy, watch this," Tyler says when he sees me approach. He squares himself off, holding his little arms up in front of him perfectly, and reaches out and punches the punching bag that has been lowered until it is a mere six inches off the floor. He looks just like his father.

"Good job, Tyler," I say giving him the praise he's craving. I park Tessa out of the way and notice that she's asleep. I take a blanket out of the diaper bag and cover her up since it's a bit drafty in here. I don't want her getting sick again. I walk up beside Tobias and take his hand. We watch Tyler sparring with the bag that's at least four times his size. He has such a huge smile on his face.

"Tessa rolled over," I say looking up at Tobias. He looks down at me with shock on his face that slowly turns into a conflicted smile. "Don't worry, I didn't see it either. She did it when I was in the shower. I put her on her back in her crib, and when I went back into her room five minutes later, she was on her tummy."

"We're going to really have to watch what's in her reach now, aren't we?" he asks.

"She's growing up so fast," I say. "I wish I could press a pause button for both of them." I absentmindedly rub my tummy. She's growing too fast also, and before I know it she'll be here. "He looks like he's having fun."

"That's the idea," he says. "This is something we can all do as a family. By the time his initiation rolls around, he'll be a pro."

"Do you think he'll want to stay?" I ask, hopeful.

"Let's not think about that today," he says. "We have years to worry about that. Shall we?" Tobias and I take our places at the punching bags on either side of Tyler's and start our workouts. He stops what he's doing for a minute and watches each of us open mouthed then a very determined look crosses his little face, and he starts punching the bag as hard as he can. It doesn't move a millimeter. "Take it easy, buddy. I don't want you to hurt your hands."

After nearly 60 minutes of punches, jabs, and kicks, sweat is pouring off of me. I sit down on the floor next to Tessa's stroller after checking on her and drink a bottle of water. She slept right through all the grunts and groans. I notice Tyler closely watching Tobias, which he's done most of the hour, and he tries kicking the bag like his father does and it knocks him onto the floor. Tobias stops what he's doing and stands the now crying toddler on his feet. He comes running over to me, and I recognize fatigue in his tear-glistening eyes.

"You're okay," I say holding him in my lap, running my hand up and down his back. "That bag is a lot bigger than you are, buddy. I don't think you're quite ready for kicks yet."

"It knocked me down," he pouts.

"Yeah, I saw that," I say.

"Shall we go home?" Tobias asks. "I could really use a shower." His tank top is adhered to every muscle of his body with sweat, and he looks deathly sexy.

"Yeah," I say, clearing my head of desire. Tyler scrambles to his feet, and Tobias offers me a hand and pulls me up. Tyler falls asleep with his head on Tobias' shoulder before we hit the stone path that leads up to our apartment. When we get home, Tobias carries Tyler up to his room so he can continue his nap and Tobias jumps in the shower. I put Tessa on her blanket on the floor, sit down on the end of the couch with my feet tucked underneath me, and watch her in hopes of seeing her roll over again. I feel eyes on me, and I look toward the stairs to find Tobias freshly showered, leaning against the railing staring at me.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"Watching to see if Tessa rolls over again. I don't want to miss it twice," I say. He smiles and sits down in the chair. We watch her for 30 minutes or so but she doesn't move. She mainly stares at herself in the little mirror and moves around a toy rattle with her fingers. I sigh and get up. "I'm going to take my shower. Why don't you make some toasted cheese sandwiches and tomato soup? It sounds really good to me. What about you?"

"Yeah, it does. I'll get right on that," he says. I go upstairs and directly into the bathroom. I step into the shower after putting my now dry workout clothes in the hamper, washing off the light layer of dried perspiration. I put on a clean outfit, run a wide tooth comb through my wet hair then go into Tyler's room. I sit on the edge of his bed and lightly run my hand up and down his back.

"Tyler," I say. "Do you want to get up and have some lunch?" He doesn't stir. "Tyler, baby, wakeup." He groans a little so I decide to pick him up and carry him downstairs. I go to lie him on the couch when I notice Tessa lying on her back with the phone rattle in her hand. "Did you roll her over, Tobias?" He looks my way with a frown.

"Did she roll over again?" he asks. "We stared at her for half an hour, and she didn't do anything."

"Damn, I missed it _again_ ," I say irritated. I lie Tyler down on the couch, and I notice that his eyes are now open. "Hi, buddy."

"Hi, Mommy," he says. "I hungwy but I still sleepy." I pick Tessa up off the floor and sit down beside him and he snuggles up into my side.

"You really worked hard on those punching bags. I think you wore yourself out," I say. "Let me see your hands." He holds them out to me, and his little knuckles are a light shade of red. I rub my fingers across them lightly. "Are they sore?" He shakes his head. "Next time take it easy." He takes my hand and notices my red and raw knuckles and compares it to his.

"They the same," he proudly says.

"Maybe Mommy and Daddy need to take it easy, too," I say, mainly to Tobias. He comes up behind me and picks up Tyler's hand.

"Are you sure it doesn't hurt?" he asks. "You can tell me the truth."

"They no huwt," he says. He holds his hands out in front of him and shakes them. "See?" I chuckle silently.

"Okay," Tobias says. "If they start hurting please tell Mommy or Daddy. We have some special salve to put on it if they start to hurt. Come here." He holds his arms out and Tyler jumps into them. He carries him across the room and sits him in his booster seat for lunch. I put Tessa in her swing and sit beside Tyler. After I eat the comfort food, I pick Tessa up, sit in the oversized club chair, and place her to my breast. I glance at the clock and know that Tobias has to go to work soon. Maybe he will learn more about Nicki ... Maria or _whoever_ the hell she is.

"Tyler, Tessa, and I will walk you down to your office when you're ready to go," I say, straightening my shirt and putting Tessa up to my shoulder to burp. "I have to meet Christina down in the Pit."

"Really?" he asks somewhat intrigued. "Why?"

"Maybe it's a surprise," I say with a seductive wink. Tessa burps, and I put her to my other breast so she can continue nursing.

"Surprise?" he says. "Okay. I usually like your surprises." He puts the leftover soup away and finishes cleaning up the kitchen then sits down on the couch. Tyler gets a book off the shelf and brings it to him then climbs up onto the couch and into his arms. Tobias reads the small book about all the ways a parent loves a child and Tyler hangs on every word.

"I love you, Daddy," he says when Tobias finishes the book.

"I love you to the moon and back, buddy," he says as he pulls him into his arms. "I'm so glad you came into our lives." I finish feeding Tessa and quickly change both kids' diapers.

"Okay, is everyone ready?" I ask.

"I think we are," Tobias says. He picks up the stroller and carries it down the stairs as I follow behind him with Tessa, Tyler, and the diaper bag. We get everyone situated and we keep Tobias company on the short walk to his office. We go in and chat with him until Tori, Harrison, and Will show up at noon.

"Have you heard any more about Nicki?" I ask before leaving.

"Unfortunately, no," Tori says. "We're going to go over the initiation files again this afternoon. Hopefully we find something then."

"I'll leave you guys so you can get down to business," I say.

"Bye, Daddy," Tyler says running over to him and giving him a big hug and kiss.

"Bye, buddy," he says. "Listen to Mommy and be good."

"I will," he says before running back to my side.

"Bye, guys," I say as I open Tobias' office door and walk out into the hallway. Tyler walks on the left-hand side of me, away from the edge of the path, with his hand on the stroller as we head down to the salon. Christina is waiting for us in one of the waiting room chairs when we finally arrive. "I'm sorry we're late."

"It's okay," she says. "I'm just resting my feet."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask.

"Of course," she says. "We need to gossip."

"Okay," I say. She leads me through the salon into a room I've never been in before. It is decorated to keep kids occupied while their hair is being cut.

"Queen!" Tyler says running over to the faded child's barber chair, which actually is a decent-sized Lightning McQueen racecar on top of a large hydraulic pump base. I'm never going to get him to leave this room ever again.

"Wow, look at that, Tyler," I say.

"Surprise!" Christina says. "You can pretend to drive around with Lightning McQueen while I cut your hair." His eyes widen as he looks at me.

"I get cut?" he asks, confusion and fear in his eyes.

"Christina is going to cut your _hair_ ," I say. "Come here." I sit down in a comfortable leather seat and pull him up onto my lap. I run my fingers through his hair. "See how hard it is to see past your bangs? Christina is going to make it easier for you to see. You can even pick what style you want." Christina pulls out some cards that remind me of flashcards we used in lower levels but instead of numbers, pictures, or words they have different hairstyles on them. He looks at each one carefully and when a card that looks exactly like Tobias' style flips over, he "oohs" loudly.

"I want it like Daddy's," he says.

"You want your hair like Daddy's?" I ask. "You'll have to hold really still for Christina. Can you do that? You can't move."

"I do it," he says with a brilliant smile.

"Okay," I say. I pick Tyler up and put him the car. I take a couple pictures of him sitting in the chair before his haircut. I have to document this. It's his first haircut that I know of. I study the car closely and realize that it looks _very_ old. "Where did this chair come from?"

"Someone found it while they were out exploring the city one day," she says as she drapes a small cape around his neck so the hair won't get on his clothes. "Apparently, there are a lot of areas of the city that look like people just walked away from them centuries ago. Some Dauntless explorers found an old barber shop that had this in it and brought it back here."

"I'm surprised there are still areas like that left in the city," I say. "You would think that leaders' ages ago would have had every inch scoured."

"Me, too," she says. "Okay, are you ready, Tyler?"

"Yeah," he says. "I weady, Chwissy." I smile at his nickname for her and so does she.

"Wait just a second," I say. I get Tessa out of the stroller so I can hold her while I watch. "Okay. I'm ready."

"I'm going to start cutting your hair, Tyler," she says. "Remember what Mommy said. Don't move." He sits like a statue while Christina cuts all his curls off. First Tessa rolls over twice without me seeing it and now Tyler is getting all his curls cut off. I don't know how I'm supposed to handle this day. I snap photo after photo of Christina cutting his hair. He's doing such a good job. He's sitting very still. He's going to deserve a treat. Maybe I'll take him to the store and let him pick something out or maybe I'll let him decide what to have for supper. She makes her final cut, combs through his hair, and takes the cape off of him, and I bust out in tears. Tyler and Christina both look at me like I've lost my mind.

"I'm sorry," I say, wiping the tears away. "Tyler, you look so grown up. You're not my baby anymore."

"Tess the baby," he says with a pout on his face and I can't help myself. I laugh out loud.

" _You_ will always be my baby, too," I say.

"Can I play now?" he asks hopefully.

"Of course," Christina says. "That's why I brought you back here." She puts her tools down and comes over to sit down beside me.

"So what gossip do you have?" I ask.

"None really," she says. "This is the first time I've been out of the house in a couple days."

"You probably already know everything that I do about Nicki," I say.

"I imagine," she says. "Will told me that they're going to start going through files looking for her like you did with Cameron if they can't find her in the initiation rosters."

"That's a good idea," I say. "Do you want to hear about the interrogations yesterday?" She nods eagerly, and I recount everything about the interviews I witnessed including the cover story hiding Marcus' divergence. It nearly turns my stomach that I'm keeping a secret for that bastard but revealing it could impact us all.

"You're really okay with erasing Peter's father?" she says.

"Yes," I say. "I'm confident that is where Peter learned everything he knew." Her mouth falls open when I tell her that the city considered my marriage to Peter to be legal until we had the situation straightened out.

"I would have broken down if someone tried to tell me that I was no longer married to Will," she says. I knit my brows together in confusion and stare at her.

"When we get married. You know what I mean," she says. "Are you ready to get started taking the extensions out?"

"I don't want to disturb Tyler," I say.

"We can do it here," she says pointing to the wall. I totally overlooked the other station.

"Okay." We make small talk while she expertly removes the extensions. As much as she wanted to have their wedding at the little farm in Amity they decided on the Crystal Gardens, and they're having the Italian restaurant cater. They're still undecided on a date mainly because of me. I tell her to pick a date that works for her and Will and not to worry about me. I'll be there one way or another. Tessa starts fussing from being ignored, which is a rarity and Christina picks her up and brings her to me. I sit her in my lap facing the mirror and she makes faces at herself.

"I love her outfit," Christina says.

"I know," I say. "Isn't it adorable? Can you cut my hair, too?"

"Sure," she says. "How do you want it?"

"Shorter," I say. "I'm going to have three kids in a matter of months. Showering is a luxury. I need something that looks good but doesn't take any time to do it." She looks at my head and starts running her fingers through my hair.

"I have an idea," she says. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course," I say feeling no fear or unease. She turns me away from the mirror and combs my hair into its current style and starts cutting. She takes it from just below the shoulder to barely covering my neck.

I tense up on her and she says, "You said you trust me, Tris, so calm down."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I've never had hair this short before. I think I was even born with long hair." She chuckles at me.

"Okay, let's change the subject," she says as she cuts away. "Where are your wedding rings?" I hold my hand out in front of me and look at my naked fingers.

"They're at home in the bathroom," I say. "I forgot to put them back on after we were in the training room this morning.

"Good. I was hoping you and Four aren't having any trouble. How did you get them back?" she asks. I know what she's talking about.

"First, Four and I are fine, perfectly happy actually," I say with a sappy smile on my face. "Second, Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo rescued my rings from Peter's apartment in Candor when they tossed the place looking for evidence. I'm surprised he only hid them and didn't destroy them. I'm obviously glad he didn't but I wonder why he would have held onto them. It's yet another thing that baffles me about him." She giggles and I give her a dirty look even though I can't see her. "Do you find my kidnapping funny?"

"That's not what I'm laughing about," she says with another chuckle. "You have a hickey on the back of your neck."

"What?" I say.

"A love bite," she says lightly touching the right side of the back of my neck. "I'd say you and Four had some fun last night." I shake my head and roll my eyes. She always has a way of steering our conversation toward sex. I'd probably blow her mind if I ever gave her the details of our encounters. "Don't move your head."

"Sorry," I gruffly say then I sigh. "Yes, we had _a lot_ of fun this morning." I can't believe I told her that.

"I'd ask for details but I know you'd never give them," she says. "God, I miss sex." My eyes go to Tyler but he's still pretending to drive Lighting McQueen, ignoring us dutifully.

"How long has it been?" I ask, after a moment.

"Tris Prior _asking_ about sex?" she says. "Okay, who are you and what have you done with my best friend."

"I'm asking for my own personal reasons," I say. "I don't know exactly why but sex is so much better right now." I know my face must be bright red.

"It is, isn't it?" she says. I can hear the sexy smile on her voice. "It's been about a month. We'd still be doing it but it started to hurt so Isobel told me to stop. We've found other things to keep us occupied but it isn't the same. You guys haven't had any problems have you?"

"No," I say. "Did you guys have trouble finding different positions when your belly got in the way?" She's quite for a moment.

"I can't believe you are asking me this?" she says.

"Why, am I embarrassing you?" I ask, confused.

" _No_ ," she says trying to suppress a laugh but not doing a very good job of it, "but I know you. You have to be hating this conversation."

"I won't lie, this is hard for me, and you know why," I say. "However, you have insight into what I'm going through right now that none of my other really close friends have."

"I'm proud of you. I'm also very happy that you feel that you can open up to me," she says.

"It's still difficult, Christina," I say. "But if I'm intrigued about something I know that I can ask you and you would ever judge me."

"Of course I wouldn't judge you," she says still diligently cutting and shaping my new style. "Let me tell you this. It took some experimenting until we found something we both liked that was comfortable for me. I'd tell you what worked for us but it might not for you. I think the best part of it all was trying to figure out which position was the best." I smile knowing exactly what she means.

"How are you feeling?" I ask. "You're getting so close to your due date."

"My back is absolutely killing me," she says. "I freak out at a moment's notice. I can't sleep because I can't get comfortable. Everything I eat gives me unbelievable heartburn. Isobel told me the baby dropped so he's lying directly on my bladder. I swear I pee a little when I laugh or cough or just _move_. I'm exhausted one minute but too achy to sleep and the next minute I feel like I could run a marathon. The emotional roller coaster is back. The same questions keep running through my mind: Am I going to be a good mother, why did I think this was a good idea, is Will going to be a good father? Something to look forward to."

"Are you scared?" I ask.

"Scared to death," she says. "What about you?"

"Terrified," I say.

"But you don't have to ask yourself if you're going to be a good mother," she says. "You're already a terrific mom. You make it look so easy."

"I can't take all the credit," I say. "It was easy learning with these two. They are the easiest going, laid back kids. They never give me any trouble. I have a feeling it's going to different with this one. Did I ever tell you I'm having a girl?"

"No!" she squeals with delight. "My boy is going to have _two_ girlfriends." We both laugh. She picks up a comb and runs it through my hair. Amazingly enough, my head feels lighter. She must have taken my remark about shorter to heart. Tessa's cooing contentedly in my lap, gripping my finger tightly and trying to put it in her mouth.

"You can't be hungry," I say.

"What?" Christina asks putting the comb down and picking up the scissors again.

"Tessa's trying to chew on my fingers," I say. "She usually only does that when she's hungry."

"Feed her," she says. "I don't mind if you don't."

"It's too early," I say. The car Tyler's playing with shifts and his eyes widen. "Be careful, buddy." He looks my way and stares at me blankly then his lips slowly turn up into a bright smile.

"Mommy, you pwetty," he says. Christina turns me toward the mirror, and I stare at my reflection. Wow, I look different. The inverted bob is chin level at the back and slightly longer in the front except for my side fringe, which is longer than the rest of my hair. It gives me a bit of a sexy look when it hangs over my eye. I tuck the right side behind my ear and turn my head this way and that, checking the style out.

"I love it," I say.

"I do, too," Tobias huskily says from the doorway, surprising me.

"Daddy, look," Tyler says. "I got cut." Tobias slides his eyes Tyler's way and his brows raise in surprise. He stands staring at him. "Mommy say I look like you." He moves closer to us and picks Tyler up.

"You look so grown up," Tobias says, emotion thick in his voice, giving him a big hug. "Well it looks like all of us have new looks." He comes to me and cups my cheek. "I, uh … _wow_. You look beautiful. I have to talk to you."

"Okay," I say.

"Not here," he says. "It's about Nicki, Maria, _whatever_. We found Nicole."


	74. Chapter 74

"When you're done here can you meet me in my office?" Tobias asks. "What we've learned is … _complicated_."

"Okay," I say. I can't believe I'm going to get some answers today. He puts Tyler on his feet and turns to leave. I clear my throat, and he stops, turns on his heels, and walks back to me. He smiles as he lowers his mouth to mine. We share a tender kiss then he bends down and kisses the top of Tessa's head.

"I'll see you soon," he says. "Nice seeing you, Christina. You did a great job on their hair."

"Thanks, Four," she says then she lets out a deep groan. Tobias, Tyler, and I all look at her. She's got an odd look on her face.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I don't know," she says putting her hands low on her abdomen.

"Are you ... in _labor_?" I slowly ask.

"Oh, I don't think so," she says. "He's just moving around and kicking ... a lot. I think I'll follow you up to Four's office and go home and lie down. I'm exhausted."

"I'll see you later," Tobias says as he ruffles Tyler's hair and leaves us alone.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I ask, worried for my friend.

"Yeah," she says, still rubbing her stomach tenderly. She takes the cape from around my neck, and I stand up.

"Why don't you sit down and hold Tessa while I clean up this mess," I say.

"You don't have to do that," she says, wincing a little.

"You would tell me if you thought you were in labor, right?" I ask as she sits down in the chair I just vacated. I hand her Tessa who coos and smiles at her. Christina melts and I smile. My daughter has that effect of people.

"Of course I would," she says sounding vexed. "I'm just tired and achy. I swear." I sweep the long wisps of hair up into a pile then over and into the vacuum device until it disappears. That's convenient. I hang the broom up on its holder and place the cape on its hook.

"Is there anything else that needs done?" I ask. She looks around the room and shakes her head. She already put the tools away when she finished. I take Tessa from her arms and change her diaper on a small table outside the bathroom. "Do you have to go potty, Tyler?" We've been trying potty training lately. It's our goal to have him out of diapers before Peanut is born. He shakes his head at me. "Are you sure?" He nods. "Okay. Don't forget to tell Mommy when you need to go."

"Otay, Mommy," he says with a smile. "I need a dwink." I riffle through the diaper bag until I find a small bottle of water. I twist off the cap and hand it to him. He drinks it right down then hands me the empty bottle. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Wow! You were thirsty. You should have said something sooner," I say. "Will you hold Christina's hand while we walk up the path to Daddy's office?" He once again nods his little head and walks over to my best friend. She manages to get out of the barber chair and takes Tyler's outstretched hand. We walk up the steep path out of the Pit to the Pire talking about miscellaneous wedding plans.

"Do you want me to watch the kids?" she asks right before we reach Tobias' office door.

"No, it isn't necessary," I say. "I'll keep them with me. Thanks for the offer though. I appreciate it." I eye her suspiciously and add, "If you keep hurting maybe you should call Isobel. You're only 12 days away from your due date. I'm sure he can come at any time."

"I will," she says giving me a big hug. "I'll see you later." I watch her turn and go through the small door that leads up to our apartments then turn and knock on Tobias' office door and walk right in. He's behind his desk with a weary look on his face. I was expecting the others to still be here but I was wrong. The office is deserted except for him.

"Hey, love," he says. His eyes brighten when he looks me over. "I love the new haircut." He gets up from his desk and comes over to me. He lowers his voice and says, "It's sexy as hell. It's giving me some ideas." I smile at him and give him a quick but passionate kiss. I take Tessa out of her stroller and place her in her father's arms then pull Tyler up into mine. I sit down on the couch, and he wraps his arms around me, snuggling against my chest. Tobias slides the black leather chair in front of the couch and sits down.

"So where is Nicole?" I ask. "How did you find her?"

"We found her through the initiates' roster," he says. "She was in the class ahead of mine. Her name is Audrey Nicole Pearson. Your suggestion to look for the middle name Nicole helped tremendously. That's how Will found her."

"Have you talked to her yet?" I ask, hopeful that we will get some answers and soon but when I really look at his face, I see that something is amiss. "You're not telling me something." I narrow my eyes at him.

"She died ... last year," he says, his eyes sliding to Tyler who is cuddled up against me in my lap. I look down at him and notice that his eyes are trying to shut but he's fighting it. Wow, two naps in one day. I tickle the back of his neck and within a minute he's out like a light.

"Okay, you can speak freely now," I say. "He's asleep. How did she die?"

"She killed herself … jumped right into the chasm," he says. There's something about his tone that tells me he's not quite done with the story. "She did it late the night last year's rankings were revealed."

"Why would someone kill themselves over initiate rankings when they aren't even an initiate?" I ask speaking mainly to myself. I can't think of a good reason for anyone to choose death over life ever. "It must have been a coincidence."

"It's possible that it was just chance but if it was, it wouldn't explain what's going on right now. If you think about it ... it's also the day that _we_ went public," he says. He's right. He was still trying to be discrete but I didn't want to hide anymore. I wanted everyone to see me on the arm of Tobias Eaton so I kissed him right in the middle of the crowded cafeteria causing jaws to drop and gossip to spread. I slowly start shaking my head.

"It has to be something else," I say. "It's absurd to think that _we_ had anything at all to do with her death. You barely knew her, and I never even met her."

"Are you sure about that?" he asks. "You met a lot of people that night." He reaches over to his desk and pulls a color photograph off of it and hands it to me. It must be from her file. Staring back at me out of the photo is a smiling, pretty young fair skinned woman with sparkling wide jade eyes and shiny auburn hair and a pang of jealousy moves through me. I study her features once, twice, then a third time. I slowly shake my head.

"If I met her, I don't remember it," I say. "She's really pretty. If your date had went the other way we might not be sitting here today."

"Impossible," he says extremely serious. "The minute I met you, I knew you were the one I was destined to be with. No other girl stood a chance not that they did before."

"What did you do to make her storm off, anyway?" I ask, trying to understand the full situation.

"We were making small talk, mainly about how we knew Zeke and Maria," he says. "I told her I didn't know if she was my type or not. She took it to mean that I thought she was ugly. I then told her looks weren't what are important to me but it only made things worse. She stormed out after telling me I was a bad date." I chuckle.

" _Smooth_ , Romeo," I say. He laughs and rolls his eyes at me.

"Aaawww," Tessa coos loudly, gnawing on Tobias' finger. I look toward the clock and realize she really is hungry now. I carefully move Tyler off my lap and lie him down on the end of the couch. Tobias stands up and brings me Tessa.

"Can you lock the door or bring me a blanket from the diaper bag?" I ask. "I don't want someone walking in on me when I'm feeding her." He crosses the floor and flips the lock on his door then comes back to the couch. He picks up Tyler and sits down next to me with him sleeping soundly on his shoulder. "Thanks." She roots around against my chest before I free my breast from my shirt and starts crying. When she finds my nipple, she calms down and latches on. She suckles eagerly, and I sink back into the plush couch cushions. "Do you know anything else about Nicole? Where did she work? Does she still have family in Dauntless we can talk to? And what about Maria? Has her initiate class been questioned about friends and acquaintances? That might be a way to find her."

"As for Maria, I wish I could tell you that she's been found but she hasn't, and no we haven't questioned anyone except for her immediate supervisor and Lauren who has no real relationship with her. She's only familiar with her work. Apparently Maria is a skilled hacker. She definitely has the skills to manipulate the security cameras from outside the control room," he says. "Talking to the other initiates from my class is a good idea though. Classes have the tendency to stay in contact even if they're not the best of friends. I'll get Harrison on that tomorrow while we're in Abnegation."

"And Nicole?" I ask as I continue to nurse Tessa.

"Nicole was a patrol officer. I asked Shauna her impression of her and she doesn't remember her," he says. "Her mother died during childbirth," my eyes widen with that news, "but her father still lives here. She has a sister named Stella." I really don't want to hear about women dying giving birth when my best friend could go into labor at any time and I'm halfway through my pregnancy. It only gives me something else to needlessly worry about. "Mr. Pearson is a fence worker and won't be available to speak with until Friday. He left this morning for a 24 hour shift. Stella works in the infirmary."

" _Stella_?" I ask. "Have we met a Stella before? It seems like we should know everyone who works there as many times as we've been for one reason or another."

"Not that I know of," he says. "I pulled her file but her picture is missing. I've made a note to get a new one when she's interviewed. Hopefully, we can talk to her and her father at the same time and they can give us an idea as to why Maria would assume Nicole's identity and come after us. Maybe they can give us an idea of where to look for her also." I carefully put Tessa up against my shoulder and softly pat her back until she burps then return her to her original position.

"If we can't find Stella we can ask Zander," I say. "He's always been a good source of information."

"That's a good idea," he says.

"This probably won't help but I think Maria has a key to Peter's apartment in Candor," I say. "What if she's hiding out there? I mean Peter ran to Amity and then Candor, why couldn't Maria run to Candor, too. She's already familiar with the faction and can blend in quite easily by adding a white shirt to her Dauntless clothing. Maybe you should have Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo check it out." He chuckles at the juvenile nicknames I gave his two most loyal guards.

"It baffles my mind why people consider _me_ to be the leader of Dauntless," he says with an intense look in his dark eyes. " _You_ are the glue that holds us together. We aren't as strong without you. We'll all be happy when you come back to work."

"What if ... I decided against that?" I slowly ask. I can feel his burning gaze on my face and a blush colors my cheeks but I can't bring myself to look into his eyes.

"What brought this on?" he asks, putting a calloused fingertip on my chin and turning my head so I have to look into his concerned eyes.

"Is three months going to be enough after Peanut is born?" I ask. "Part of me doesn't even want to train the initiates since I'll have to leave Tessa and Tyler. I'm content staying home and just being a wife and mother. You make more than enough for the five of us."

"Seriously, Tris, what brought this on?" he asks again.

"I don't want to leave them in daycare all day long or put them in the care of some stranger," I quietly say. "I want to be the one who raises them. _I_ want to be the one who witnesses their first steps, their first words, their first laughs. I don't want someone else taking that from me."

"Why haven't you told me this before?" he softly asks.

"Honestly, I only now admitted it to myself," I say with a sigh. "I know it's just a dream."

"If you want to be a stay-at-home mother to our children I'm not going to fight you on it," he says. "That would be selfish of me to ask you to do something you don't want to. But I want you to think about something and think about it long and hard before you make your decision. Will you be happy only being a wife and mother? I know you. I don't think you'll be happy." We're quiet for a time listening to the sound of Tessa's suckling. I don't know what to say. What just came out of my mouth stunned even me.

"Maybe there's a way I could do both? I mean be a mom and a leader," I tentatively say. "I could go to part time and only work in my office so members always knows there is someone available to them during a set block of time. At initiation we could add an intern or leader-in-training position that could pick up the slack, especially with me going on maternity leave again so soon after initiation is over. We would only have to put the kids in daycare for a limited amount of time each day or we could get a nanny. I know it would mean a pay cut but money isn't everything. You and the kids are what's the most important to me. It might be a compromise I could live with."

"I'll have to run it by the others but I for one like this idea," he says. "After a few months, you can make the final decision as to what you want. I will stand behind you no matter what." I grin at him.

"How did we get off onto this subject? MI thought we were supposed to be talking about Maria and Nicole." I have a hard time calling Nicki Maria.

"I don't know," he says. "It's okay though. Anytime you need to discuss something that involves our family, we'll do it. Dauntless has become home because of you and the children and, therefore, it's extremely important to me too but it will never take precedent over you or my kids."

"Thank you," I say. "I'll tell you what. I want to train the initiates with you. I may not want to leave the kids but I'll get used to it. We both know it's not a full-time job anyway."

"I'm glad you changed your mind," he says, relief plain in his voice. "I can't imagine doing it without you. You'll be a lot better partner than Eric was."

"What? Do you think I won't make you throw knives at the initiates?" I ask.

"There's not _going_ to be knife throwing," he says. "It's reckless and dangerous. It isn't necessary."

"You know how I feel about this subject," I say. "I couldn't disagree with you more. Target practice, whether it's with a gun or a knife makes me feel stronger, more powerful, like I can do anything. It gives me a surge of energy and of self-confidence. Why would you want to take that away from them?"

"Why bother teaching them to use something that doesn't even come standard issue to a Dauntless member?" he asks.

"Do you see every member walking around with a sidearm?" I ask. He rolls his eyes at me but shakes his head. "Why bother teaching them to use a gun?"

"That's not the same thing and you know it," he says, controlling the volume of his voice trying not to wake up Tyler and Tessa who is now napping in my arms. "Knife throwing has never been used in this compound unless someone was trying to impress someone else. It serves absolutely _no_ purpose, Tris." Sometimes I wish he would just yell. His intimidating Four calm is scary as hell.

"What if we gave the initiates the option of learning how to use one and if they do, then they can carry a knife in addition to their firearm?" I say.

"I don't like it," he says, shaking his head. "Do you know what I think about when I think of knife throwing? I think of that smug bastard Eric making me throw a lethal weapon at the head of the girl I liked."

"Liked?" I ask.

"It was a lot more than that but _like_ is all I would allow myself to admit to at the time," he says. "After I stormed out of the room, I heard you scream in frustration, and I thought I had blown any chance of us ever being together because you thought I was trying to impress that _Neanderthal_ , which I obviously wasn't. It was bad enough when he wanted me to throw the knives at Al but then you opened that beautiful mouth of your and all I could think about was trying to make sure Eric didn't see that I had taken a special interest in you. For a split second, I thought about throwing the knives at him but I knew that would get me kicked out of Dauntless and you would be left at his mercy. I was terrified that something would go wrong and you would get hurt."

"You could throw blindfolded and legally drunk and you wouldn't miss the target," I say not ready to let this go. "Do you know what _I_ think about when I think of throwing knives? I think of the power that flows through my body. I think of the adrenal rush and pride that hitting the target dead center gives me. I try _not_ to think of you throwing the knives at me. Yes, I was scared but it's not for the reasons why you think. I was afraid that Al would get hurt. Eric was bullying him and what I said just slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself. I didn't want to stand in front of the target any more than Al did but I knew it would prove me a coward if I backed down. I looked into your eyes and I could see that you wouldn't hurt me ... of that I was confident ... but I was still extremely nervous. Then you started badgering me."

"I wasn't badgering you," he says with a sigh.

"It felt like it to me," I say. "Irritated the hell out of me. I thought you were taunting me, laughing at me. When you cut my ear and Eric told me he should be watching me, I was scared that I gave my secret away." My whole body trembles at the memory of Eric's hand on my shoulder but I shake it off.

"Have you ever noticed what I do in the training room?" he asks. "I haven't gone near the knives since he made me throw them at you. I'm _not_ putting them in the training."

"Do you notice that the only thing we ever fight about is knife throwing?" I ask with a sigh.

"Or my mother," he says looking down at me from the corner of his eyes. I groan and lay my head on his shoulder. "I hate fighting."

"Me too," I say. "Let's never do it again."

"Remember the last time we really fought?" he asks. "We had some delicious makeup sex." I remember that. It's when I found out about his mother. When we made up, we were hours late for work.

"So did we fight long enough that we get make up?" I ask with a come hither look. He laughs loudly, and I silence him with a long, slow, intense kiss. Little giggles part us, and we both look at Tyler who obviously woke during our impromptu make out session.

"Did you have a nice nap?" Tobias asks.

"Yeah," he says with a bright smile on his face. "You was kissin'."

"We were?" I tease with a smile. "I'm not sure. Maybe I should kiss your Daddy to check."

"Nnnooo!" he squeals.

"Should I kiss you?" I ask, placing pecks all over his head. He laughs in delight, and Tessa starts crying. I get up, put her up to my shoulder, and bounce her lightly and rub her back. She quiets down almost immediately and within minutes is fast asleep. I carefully place her in the stroller, take her blanket out of the diaper bag, and wrap it around her snugly.

"We've got to be quiet," Tobias says. "How about we go home?"

"Did you tell me everything you know about Maria and Nicole?" I ask as we cross the hallway to the door that leads up to our apartment.

"I think that's everything we know so far. I'm sure we'll learn even more over the next few days. If we could just find Maria and her cronies, this would be all over," he says. He picks up the stroller after I take Tessa out of it and carries it upstairs. I take Tyler by the hand, and we slowly ascend the steep stairs.

"What do you want for supper, buddy? You were such a good boy having your hair cut today that I think you should get to choose." I put Tessa in her bassinet so she can nap in peace then pick up Tyler and sit down on the couch.

"Mac and cheese," he says.

"Macaroni and cheese? Anything else?"

"Cake." I chuckle. He loves his cake.

"That sounds really good," Tobias says. "Mommy and I will make that happen." A knock on the door interrupts us, and Tobias opens it since he's closer. Christina is on the other side. She looks slightly ashen, quite sweaty, and terrified.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"My water just broke, and I can't get ahold of Will."


	75. Chapter 75

I've been standing frozen in place in the open doorway, my mouth agape since Christina made her announcement but my mind is running a mile a minute. Where the hell is Will? Why can't she find him? Am I supposed to invite her in? Should I take her to the infirmary or the hospital? Is she in pain right now? Is she ready for this?

"Oh," she says grabbing her swollen abdomen. " _Damn that hurts!_ "

"What can I do?" I ask, finally unfreezing. I move out of her way and let her in. She leans against the island breathing deeply in-and-out through her open mouth.

"Four, do you know where Will is?" she asks. "He's not answering his phone, which is unusual. He knows I could go into labor at any time. He's never unreachable." The contraction must have ended because she stands straight up and no longer looks like she's suffering. "Can you help me find him?"

"Don't you need to get to the infirmary?" I ask.

"No, Isobel told me to meet her at the hospital," she says. "Can you drive me and stay with me until Four finds Will, Tris?"

"We can do that," Tobias says, taking charge of the situation. "Tris, why don't you call Avery to watch the kids. I'll go get the car and you can take Christina to the hospital. I'll stay with the kids until Avery gets here. I have a couple places I can look to see if I can find Will but I don't understand why he's not answering." He is trying to hide a look of concern. He grabs a set of keys and gives me a quick kiss before dashing out the door. I pick up my phone and call Avery. She has plans with Callen so I give her permission to have him come over since it's an emergency.

"Oh, God," Christina says rubbing her abdomen, her face twisting in pain. I freeze again. I wonder how I'm going to be able to help her.

"Would it be easier to sit down?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"Mommy?" Tyler asks pulling on my pants. I look down at him and see fear on his face.

"Oh, honey," I say picking him up. He wraps his arms around my neck, holding securely on to me. I rub my hand up and down his back. "Mommy is going to take Aunt Christina to the hospital. Her baby is coming. Avery is going to come over and watch you and Tessa while Daddy goes to look for Uncle Will. We'll have to make macaroni and cheese tomorrow night."

"Okay," he says. "Can I go to my woom?"

"Of course, you can. That's a good idea," I say putting him on his feet. He runs over to the stairs to go up to his room.

"I'm sorry," Christina says. "I scared the crap out of him. I didn't mean to." She looks me in the eye and grimaces. "I'm scaring you too. I'm sorry." I open my mouth to say something but she doubles over in pain. I run to her side.

"Here, take my hand," I say placing my hand in hers. She grips it tightly and squeezes until I swear I feel tiny bones break. When she loosens her grip I ask, "Did you learn any breathing techniques in the classes you and Will went to?" She raises her eyes to me, and I see genuine fear. "I know you're scared but Four is going to find Will for you. I promise." At that moment Tobias comes back into the apartment.

"The car's at the curb," he says looking around the room. "Where's Tyler?"

"He's upstairs in his room," I say. "He's scared."

"Poor guy," he says. "I promise I will get out there and look for Will as soon as Avery shows up. I already have patrols out there searching. Try not to worry, Christina. He's probably in some corner deep in the compound where his cell doesn't work." I know he doesn't believe a word he's saying. We had cell phone boosters installed shortly after we became leaders to avoid this kind of situation.

"Just to let you know, Callen will be with Avery," I say as I help Christina toward the door. "I told her this one time is okay since it's an emergency."

"Okay," he says. "I'll remind them of the rules before I go."

"Don't forget to thank them," I say.

" _Ooohhh_ ," Christina moans.

"Let's go, let's go," I say, putting my arm around her back. She heavily leans on me as I help her to the sedan, which Tobias left running on the curb. I help her into the passenger side then quickly yet cautiously drive her to the emergency entrance of the hospital. I park in the loading zone and say, "I'll be right back. I'm going to get you a wheelchair and a nurse." I hop out of the car and run into the lobby. I don't find a nurse but I do find a stash of wheelchairs parked in the corner under the staircase. I grab the wheelchair and head out of the emergency room and go straight to the car. I manage to help her into it in the middle of another contraction and push her back into the lobby. "Hey! Is anyone here? I have a woman in labor here." Two nurses come through the tall wooden door marked staff only and come to our side.

"We'll take her up to the delivery ward," one of the nurses says. "Why don't you move your car? When you're finished you can join your…"

"Friend," I say. "My husband is trying to locate her fiancé as we speak."

"Very well, we'll keep an eye out for the nervous father," she says wheeling Christina toward the elevator. After I park the car, I make my way to the delivery ward, which is adjacent to the obstetrics wing. I walk up to the counter and ask for Christina's room. The nurse gives me her room number and directions, and I make my way through the maze-like hallways to her side.

"You know, I really wish Will was here with me," she says, lying in the adjustable bed in the dimly lit room. There is a soft rock station being piped in through the overhead speakers.

"Of course you do," I say. "If I was in that bed, I would want Four by my side but if for some reason he was unavailable I would want you with me." I take her hand in both of mine.

"That's exactly how I feel, Tris," she says. "I'm glad you're here."

"Do you want me to call your mom or Cara and tell them the baby is on his way?" I ask.

"No," she says. "We'll call them once he's here. I don't want too much of an audience." I understand her feelings. I don't want tons of people waiting around when I'm ready to give birth.

"You're going to have to help me out here," I say. "Four and I haven't started our prenatal classes yet, so I'm at a loss as to how to help you."

"You can help by keeping me focused on something during my contractions," she says. "There's a photo in the bag of me and Will from when we first started dating. Can you get it for me?" I pick up the small bag filled with necessities and find a small heart shaped silver frame with a picture of Will and Christina at the Dauntless Welcome Party. He's looking at her like she's a goddess, and I blush at the intimacy that projects from it. I hand it to her, and she smiles warmly. "Where do you think he is?"

"I don't know but try not to worry," I say. She raises her brows at me. "I know it won't be easy but try. Tell me, have you picked out a name for him yet?" If I can keep her mind off of the fact that he's not here, hopefully the labor will go smoother.

"We came up with a name but we want to announce it after he's born," she says.

"What were some of the runner's up?" I ask still trying to distract her. She smiles widely then winces. Trying not to panic I say, "Focus on your picture and breathe through the pain." She stares at the silver frame in her hands breathing deeply, steadily until the contraction passes.

"Thanks. You're a natural," she says. "We both love the name Declan but we didn't want to saddle him with the name Declan Drake so we moved on from that one. We tossed around the names Jagger, Asher, and Xavier but we threw them out rather early. I'm still having a problem letting go of my favorite name, Lucian. It came down between it and the name we picked."

"I like that name," I say. "Lucian Drake. It sounds good. You should keep it for your next baby boy."

"Maybe you shouldn't talk about me having other kids right now, not when it feels like my insides are trying to come out," she says. I gasp. "Sorry, too blunt. You probably don't want to hear about the details while you're pregnant."

"I'll admit I'm not looking forward to this part," I say. "What I concentrate on is holding my daughter in my arms after the hard part is over. That's another thing you can focus on right now, holding your little miracle in your arms. Take it from me, cradling your newborn baby in your arms is unlike anything you will ever experience again. Focus on that."

"I can't wait," she says.

"You don't have that much longer to go," I say. "You're doing great. Has Isobel been in to check your progress yet?"

"The nurse who checked me in while you were parking the car told me Isobel was on her way in," she says then breathes through yet another contraction. Damn they're close.

"Can I get anything for you?" I ask.

"They'll only let me have ice chips," she says. "I could use some Dauntless cake." She's got a point, cake sounds awesome right about now. She came over shortly before Tobias was going to make supper so I'm starving.

"Should I ask the nurse for some?" I ask. "It might be nice to wet your mouth." I know I could use a drink.

"Sure," she says. "Will you call Four and get an update on the search for Will? I know I'm not supposed to be worrying but I am."

"Of course," I say. I get up off the side of the bed and head into the hallway. I walk through the maze back to the nurse's station and ask for a cup of ice chips for Christina. I also ask where I can make a phone call without going all the way down to the emergency lobby. The nurse tells me to go to the end of the hallway where there is a balcony where calls can be made from. I tell her I'll be back for the ice chips and hurry to get an update from Tobias.

"Hello?" he says.

"Have you found Will?" I ask immediately. "Christina is going nuts over here." Okay, that is a slight exaggeration but I'm entitled to it. Her stress is rubbing off on me. "She needs him."

"Um, I found him but it's going to be a while before I can bring him to the hospital," he says.

"Why, where is he?" I interrupt suddenly panicked. "Is he okay?"

"He's going to have a headache for a while," he says.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Maria and her goons _that's_ what happened," he sighs, "and he isn't the only one. He and Zeke are both in the infirmary."

"Are they going to be okay?" I ask, appalled. We've got to find these people and fast.

"Yeah," he says. "It's basically the same thing that happened to Shauna, hit in the back of the head and given GHB to erase their memories. I'm not sure how we are ever going to catch them if they keep drugging the people who get close to them. Zander wants to keep them both overnight because of their head injuries but I promise even if I have to kidnap Will from the infirmary, I will get him there and soon."

"I'm not sure I should tell her any of this," I say. "Yet I don't know if I'm strong enough to keep it from her.

"You are the strongest most intelligent woman I know," he says, sincerity ringing in his voice. "You'll do what's right. I've got to go. Zander's going to give me an update. I swear I will see you soon. I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. "Bye."

"Bye," he says before turning his phone off. I ruminate over what to tell Christina on the way back to her room. Just as I am getting ready to enter, the door opens and Isobel walks out.

"Hey," I say. "How is she?"

"Where's Will?" she asks. "The stress isn't good for her."

"Four is working on it," I say. "He promises that he'll be here soon."

"Well, I hope he's right," she says. "She's nearly half way to pushing. I'll be in to recheck her in about an hour. Hold her hand, keep her focused. Basically do what she asks." _That's the part I'm afraid of_.

"Thanks, Isobel."

"You've got this, Tris," she says. "You're a wonderful friend seeing her through this. I'll see you guys in a little bit." I enter the birthing suite as she turns and walks down the hall.

"Oh good you're back," Christina says from a cushioned recliner in the corner of the room. "Has Four found Will yet?" What will keep her the calmest? The truth: He's in the infirmary but will be here soon. Or the lie: Four's still looking.

"He'll be here soon," I say. I figure a half truth is better than no truth.

"Can you help me up?" she asks. "Isobel said walking can help plus this chair was comfortable for about a minute. Then you're going to tell me where my fiancé is." I groan. I should have known that I couldn't fool her. She knows me too well. I put the recliner down then hold my hands out to her. She grasps them tightly, and I help her to her feet. She very slowly waddles to the door and out into the hallway. We unhurriedly walk up and down the halls, stopping every once in a while to let her catch her breath. So far she seems to have forgotten about wanting to hear the truth about where Will is.

"You're doing great," I say on our second trip up and down the hall. She gives me a sideways glance. She's in between contractions, which are coming closer together so she doesn't have the agonized look on her face.

"I've taken about all I can, _Beatrice Prior-Eaton_ ," she spits, enunciating my name like an expletive. "I want to know where Will is, and I want to know _now_."

"Calm down, Christy," Will says from down the corridor. We both look toward the sound of his voice and are relieved to see him. Thank God!

"Oh, you're here," she says with relief, her voice quivering and tears in her eyes. He smiles at me then wraps his arms around her. She clings to him and cries into his shoulder, letting out all the pent up emotion she's been holding in. "I was afraid you were going to miss this."

"Do you think I would miss the birth of our son for anything?" he asks staring intensely into her eyes. "Nothing could have kept me away. I take it that you didn't tell her what happened, Tris?"

"I didn't want to stress her out any more than she already was but as you just saw, it wasn't quite working," I say. "I'm glad you're here. Did Four bring you?"

"I sure did," he says coming down the hallway. We meet each other halfway in an intimate embrace.

"I'm so glad you're here," I whisper in his ear. He kisses my cheek before he lets me go.

"What is this?" Isobel asks coming around the corner. "A party. Good to see you, Will. Glad you could make it. I need to recheck, Christina."

"We'll go now," I say.

" _No!_ " she shrieks. "I want you to stay, Tris. You've helped all this time. I need you, too." I've never heard her as whiny as she is right now.

"Okay," I say. "Isobel, can you swing by the waiting room and let me know when you're done."

"Sure, Tris," she says. "Now, you two follow me." She opens the door to the birthing suite, and Will and Christina disappear into the room. Tobias takes my hand and leads me down the hallway to the waiting room.

"If you want to go home I would understand," I say. "Her labor seems to be progressing quite nicely but it's hard to tell exactly when she'll deliver. It could still be hours."

"If it's all the same to you, I would like to stay," he says. "Mostly, I want to be with you but I'm also excited for them. I want to meet their little man."

"So do I. I'm so excited for them," I say. "Why don't you call Avery and tell her we'll be late. All you have to do is go down the hall to that balcony." He gives me a quick kiss and leaves me alone. I look around the cramped space and can't believe it isn't roomier. I guess most guests wait in the suites and don't need to wait out here.

"You can go back in whenever you're ready," Isobel says from over my shoulder, and I look up at her. "The walking helped her tremendously. More than likely the second phase of labor will start within the hour."

"Thanks, Isobel," I say. I decide to wait for Tobias, and he comes back within minutes. I get up, and we walk to Christina's room. I knock and we enter when she says to come in. "Isobel told me that it shouldn't be too much longer."

"She told us the same thing," Will says. Tobias sits down in the recliner in the corner, out of the way looking very uncomfortable. I go to her bedside and she takes my hand.

"Thanks for not freaking me out about Will," she says gripping my hand tightly again. She breathes through the latest contraction then rests her head on the pillow and closes her eyes. "If you would have told me he was hurt, Isobel would have had to sedate me."

"Try not to think about that now," I say. "Will is okay." I meet his eyes and furrow my brows at him. He mouths that he's okay, and I smile and nod at him.

I spend the next half hour standing next to Christina's bed across from Will, holding one hand while he holds the other. We help keep her focused and encourage her to breathe through the pain. Every once in a while I look toward Tobias, and he has a very uncomfortable expression on his face. I can't blame him for feeling awkward. I do, too.

"Tris, can you go get Isobel?" Christina says. "I really feel like I need to push."

"I'll do it," Tobias says, jumping up from the recliner and escaping the room faster than the speed of light. Even Christina laughs at his actions.

"I'm sorry he's freaked out," she whines, panting heavily through her strongest contraction yet. "I feel like I'm dying. _Ooooohhhhh_ _Gggggooooddddd!_ "

Will holds the small silver frame up in front of her face and says, "Focus on this, Christy." She growls a bit and smacks the photograph out of his hand. It flies past my face and lands with a crash somewhere over my left shoulder.

"Get that fuckin' thing out of my face you worthless piece of shit. _YOU_ did this to me," she shrieks. Will's eyes nearly bug out of his head at her words. I've heard that women giving birth can take it out on their partner but I never thought I would witness it firsthand. I wonder if I'll scream at Tobias when the time comes. "How would you like me to rip a basketball out of your ass and see how focused _you_ are." I take a dry soft towel and wipe the sweat beads off her forehead.

"You are doing such a good job," I say, giving her a spoonful of ice chips. "Just remember what this pain gets you, a beautiful baby boy to hold in your arms."

"Thank you," Will mouths when I meet his eyes and I nod at him.

"I'm so sorry, Will," she says when the contraction passes.

"I know you didn't mean it," he says kissing her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she says. "I love you too, Tris. Thanks for helping out."

"I'm glad you wanted me to stay," I say. "Just be prepared to help me out when the time comes." She chuckles.

"I'll take you up on the offer just so I can hear you cussing out Four for getting you pregnant," she says. Isobel comes through the door but Tobias is nowhere to be found. She sits on a little rolling stool between Christina's legs, and I look away as she checks her progress.

"You were right to have Four come get me," she says. "You are ready to push. Tris, it's probably best for you to wait in the waiting room with your husband."

"Good luck, guys," I say giving Christina a kiss on the forehead. I quickly exit the suite and walk to the waiting room realizing just how tired I am. "I could really use a cup of coffee, Four." I sit next to him and snuggle into his side, and he wraps his strong arm around me.

"I could get us some if you would like," he says.

"It's probably too late," I say. "What time is it anyway?" He pulls his phone out of his pocket and looks at its clock.

"A little before 1 a.m.," he says. "I told Avery she could spend the night on the couch but Callen had to go home at 12 a.m."

"Do they seem young to you, Callen and Avery?" I ask. "Sometimes it is hard to believe I'm only a year older than the two of them."

"They're good kids," he says. "When you were their age, you were much more mature. I think that drew me to you also."

"Tell me what happened with Zeke and Will," I say trying to keep myself awake.

"I found them unconscious in a dark hallway adjacent to the control room and had them taken to the infirmary to be examined. I went to the control room to check the video but unfortunately, there's no surveillance near that hallway so we don't exactly know what happened and, of course, neither one of them could remember what they had been doing, which is consistent with being drugged. The usual tests were run but no results were available yet. Zander conceded and let Zeke go home and Will come with me. He didn't like it though."

"Did you have them looking into something special?" I ask.

"No," he says. "They must have found something on their own that they were exploring but unfortunately neither one of them remembers anything from today. I remember that helpless feeling."

"Poor Will," I say. "He was given that drug twice. I hope it doesn't have any unknown side effects."

"I'm glad I found them rather quickly," he says. "As large as the compound is, I could still be looking for him and having no idea how much trouble he was in."

"I'm glad you found him, too," I say. "I'm not sure I could have helped her while she was actually _giving_ birth. I don't think I'm quite ready to witness that."

"I can't wait for Peanut to be born," he says, putting one hand on my tummy.

"After today, I can," I say taking hold of his hand. "I'm going to cherish every minute of this pregnancy until I start feeling like hell then I'll wish it was over."

"Hey guys," Will says from over our shoulders. We jump to our feet, expectation on both our faces. "He's here. Isobel said Christina did really well for a first time mother. Do you want to see him?"

"Are you sure we wouldn't be intruding?" Tobias asks.

"Not at all," he says with an exhausted yet brilliant smile on his face. "You two are our closest friends. We want to share this time with you."

"Okay," I say. "Lead the way, Daddy."

"First, I have to thank you both," he says. "Tris, you are such a great friend to sit with her for hours while she was in labor, and Four thank you for finding me so that I could be here for his birth. I will never be able to thank you both properly." He hugs each of us in turn, emotional tears swimming in his eyes. "Come on. I would like to introduce you to my son." I take Tobias' hand, and we follow closely behind Will as he leads us back to Christina's suite. He pushes the door open and allows us to enter the room then he comes in after us. Christina is holding a little blue bundle in her arms. I recognize the look on her face, it's one of pure awe. Will gently sits on the side of the bed and puts his arm around Christina and their son. Tobias and I stand back a little bit and look at the happy family.

"We would like to introduce you to William Alexander Drake, II," she says.

"He's obviously named after me but we're going to call him Liam," Will says, the same wondrous look on his face that Christina is wearing right now. "Would you like to hold him?" I step forward and carefully take the wide-eyed infant out of his mother's arms. He is a little beauty with nearly black eyes and a shock of curly black hair just like his mother. His skin is an absolutely beautiful light milk chocolate color, the perfect blending of his parent's.

"He's perfect," I say. "Welcome to the world, little Liam. You've made your mommy and daddy extremely happy. I can't wait for you to meet Tyler and Tessa. You're all going to be the best of friends. I just know it." Tobias puts both of his hands on my shoulders and gazes at the tiny infant.

"So how much did he weigh and stuff?" he asks.

"He was born at 1:22 a.m. today, June 2. He weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces and was 21 inches long," Will says. I look up over my shoulder at Tobias and he nods. I put Liam back in Christina's arms and kiss her cheek.

"We need to get home to the kids," I say, "and you guys need some privacy. Thank you both for letting us be a part of your special day but we'll be leaving now. If either of you need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask. We're here for you." Christina hands the baby to Will and grabs ahold of me.

"Thank you so much for staying with me when I couldn't find Will," she whispers in my ear. "You are the best friend a girl could have. I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. "Get some rest. "You're going to need it." We let each other go, and I head toward the door.

"Take as much time off as you need, Will, and definitely don't worry about tomorrow's meeting," Tobias says. "We'll take care of it."

"Congratulations," we both say at the same time. We exit the room then head for home.


	76. Chapter 76

**A/N: Reader discretion advised. Unusual violence in this chapter.**

* * *

Tobias and I got home really early this morning. Avery was sound asleep on the couch, and we didn't have the heart to wake her so we covered her up with the soft gray throw, transferred an adequate amount into her account to compensate for ruining her plans with Callen, and left her a note telling her that we took Tessa upstairs. I didn't want her waking and freaking out because the baby was no longer in the bassinet.

When I came downstairs a few minutes ago, I fully expected her to still be asleep on the couch but she's already left. I send a quick text to Stella and Zander making sure that she got home alright and am relieved when my phone buzzes telling me she got home in the middle of the night. I thank them for letting us borrow her last night and give them the news that Will and Christina's baby was born but don't give any other details than that.

"Good morning," Tobias says as he comes into the kitchen. His nearly silent footfalls catch me off guard, and he makes me jump.

"I'm going to have to put a bell on you," I say giving him a quick good morning kiss before I continue making our much-needed morning coffee. "Did you check on Tyler before you came down?"

"Yeah, he's still asleep," he says. "The training room must have really wore him out yesterday. Two naps and still asleep at 7 a.m."

"Maybe we should take him there every day," I giggle. He puts his hands on my waist and turns me around so that I'm facing him. I give him a questioning look, and he lifts me up and sits me on the island.

"We need a date, Mrs. Eaton," he says as he slowly moves his mouth to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and lean into his kiss. I sigh and he takes advantage of my open mouth and thrusts his tongue between my parted lips and finds mine. I run my fingers through his hair and mold my body to his. Our tongues glide and twirl together in a synchronized dance. When he moves his mouth to the hollow at the base of my neck I draw in an unsteady breath.

"You mentioned a date, Mr. Eaton," I breathlessly say. "I would love that more than you know. Just you and me for a night." He pulls away from me with a brilliant smile that makes my mouth go dry and tightens my tummy with delicious desire. I watch his eyes glaze over with lust as I run my hands up and down his chiseled bare chest. He captures one of my hands and seductively kisses the palm then lightly runs the tip of his tongue to the tattoo on my wrist causing a jolt of electricity to shoot through my midsection. "You better stop, Tobias." My voice is dripping with want, with need. He places his hands just above my knees and slowly runs his fingertips up my thighs, around my hips, and clasps them at the small of my back all the while staring into my eyes with a severe, hungry look in his darkening eyes.

"I know," he finally says, gently touching his forehead to mine. "Let's talk about a date before we end up naked on the floor." A nervous giggle rips from my lips, and he laughs that deep belly laugh I love and only hear when it's just the two of us. I wrap my arms around his neck, and we laugh together loudly. "How about one of us decides on a day and time for our date and gets the sitter, and the other one plans it."

"Sounds good," I say. I chew on my bottom lip for a moment trying to decide which I would like to do. "I will set the date and time and ask Avery to spend the night." He chuckles.

"All night, huh?" he asks. "Aren't you a dirty little minx?"

"What's that?" Tyler asks us from the base of the stairs. He always seems to catch us in one compromising position or another. Tobias kisses me as he helps me down from the island.

"Um?" I say, not knowing what we should tell him.

"It's nothing really," Tobias says. "Just a nickname Daddy calls Mommy every once in a while."

"Can I call Mommy that too?" he asks with innocent eyes. I pick him up and give him a big hug then shower him with sweet little kisses.

"I think you should stick to calling me Mommy," I say. "I love hearing that word come from your mouth."

"You _do_?" he asks.

"The first time you called me Mommy was one of the happiest days of my life," I say caressing his handsome little face. He looks so much like Tobias. "I love you very, very much, Tyler." He grabs me by the neck and hugs me tighter than he ever has.

"I love you, Mommy," he says. "I weally happy that you my mommy now. It make me smile."

"It makes me smile, too," I whisper in his ear. "Why don't we go upstairs so you can take a bath? We have to get ready to see Grandma today."

"Gwamma?" he says. "See Gwampa too?"

"I honestly don't know if we'll see him or not," I say. "Go upstairs and pick out an outfit. I'll be right behind you." I set him on his feet after a final kiss and he runs toward the steps. I hurry back over to Tobias and pull his mouth down to mine, pressing my body against every inch of his completely male body. I kiss him passionately, thoroughly, running my hands all over him. When I let him go, I glide one hand down over his hard glutes and squeeze playfully. "I love you. We'll talk more about our date later."

"I love you, too," he growls. "You better get upstairs before I can no longer control myself and we have another embarrassing moment when our son walks in on us. It would be all your fault you little tease."

"I'd say I was sorry," I begin.

"Yeah, yeah," he chuckles, interrupting me. "But you're not." I put my mouth on his again for a tender kiss.

"I am sorry," I say. "It wasn't my intention to … turn you on. I would never do anything to hurt you."

"I know," he says. "And you didn't hurt me. I'm only _slightly_ uncomfortable. It's nothing I can't handle. I swear you have me half hard most the time anyway." I can't help my blush. "You better get upstairs with our son."

"I'm in the mood," I say with a wink, teasing once again now that I know he's not holding it against me, "for pancakes." I laugh and turn to walk away from him and he swats my behind. "Hey!" I jump, turn, and stare at him. "You'll pay for that later."

Tyler is in his room digging through his dresser drawers like an archeologist looking for dinosaur bones when I come in. I watch him hold up shirt after shirt, shake his little head, then throw them over his shoulder. I don't know whether I want to laugh or scream at the mess he's making.

"Tyler Aaron Eaton," I very calmly say, "what do you think you are doing?" He looks over his shoulder at me and frowns.

"I lookin' fo outfit," he say, obviously confused by my question.

"Why did you feel the need to empty all your drawers?" I ask pointing to the big pile of clothes. His bottom lip starts quivering. Oh, no! "You're not in trouble if you can tell me why you did it."

"Didn't like nothing I saw," he says. Hhm. When did my two-year-old _boy_ turn into a diva? Maybe he's been hanging around Christina too much!

"I'm going to fold your clothes, and you are going to put them back in the drawer," I say. I see tears wet his eyes. "I'm not mad. You don't have to cry." Tears start streaming down his face and I sigh. "Come here." He crawls over the clothes into my arms and holds onto me tightly. I let him sulk for a couple minutes and when I pull him back and look into his tear-filled eyes, my heart contracts painfully. I hate seeing him sad but I need to be tough right now. "Are you going to help me clean up this mess so you can take your bath?"

"I sowwy, Mommy," he says. "I be big boy and help."

"Good job, buddy," I say. I fold the clothes and he, more carefully than I thought possible, puts them in the drawers. I pick out a pair of faded black jeans, a short-sleeved dark gray crewneck T-shirt, and black running shoes for him then I pick him up and we head into the bathroom so I can give a bath to him.

"Breakfast's ready," Tobias hollers from the base of the stairs just as Tyler climbs into the tub.

"We better hurry," I say. "Daddy made us pancakes." His eyes light up, and we quickly move through the routine. We're downstairs eating the fluffy, buttery goodness that Tobias made us both in no time at all.

"What took you guys so long upstairs?" he asks as we're cleaning up the kitchen. I look over my shoulder and see that Tyler's not paying any attention to us.

"Don't ask him to pick out his own outfit for a while yet. He's not ready," I say. "He emptied all his drawers onto the floor. We had to pick up." He turns and looks at Tyler, who is playing with a puzzle at the base of the stairs. "Hopefully one of these days he won't have a meltdown when I need to correct him. I try to reassure him that I still love him but he cries, and _that_ breaks my heart."

"It kills me too when he does that," he says. "I'll talk to him."

"It's not necessary," I say. "I talked to him. I don't want him to think we are ganging up on him."

"Okay, but if it continues," he says, "we need to talk to him together. Deal?"

"Deal," I say glancing at the bassinet. "Why don't you go and take a shower while I feed Tessa then I'll take mine?"

"Okay," he says. He kisses the top of my head then goes upstairs. Tessa nurses quickly this morning so when she's done I give her a bath in the sink. When Tobias comes down after getting ready for the meeting, we trade places, and he finishes with Tessa so I can get ready. I take my usual quick shower and am back downstairs and ready to go within 10 minutes. I absolutely love my new haircut. It made my morning a lot easier.

"Are we ready to go?" I ask when I have the diaper bag packed.

"Yeah!" Tyler says excitedly. After we buckle the kids into the car, which Tobias parked at the curb in front of the Pire so we didn't have to walk all the way to the garage with the stroller, baby carrier, and two children, we head to Abnegation.

We pull up in front of my parent's house with plenty of time for Tobias to make it to the big meeting at the ancient outdoor amphitheater in what used to be a sprawling park but is now a small part of Abnegation's housing. My mom must have been watching for us to arrive because she comes out to the curb to greet us. She offers to take the kids into the house while Tobias and I unpack the car. I watch as she walks up the sidewalk hand-in-hand with my son, carrying Tessa in her seat in the other and I smile. We carry the stroller and diaper bag into the house and sit down in the living room after declining my mom's offer for breakfast.

"I've got to get going so I'm not late," Tobias says just as his phone rings. He takes his phone out of his pocket and looks at the screen. "It's your dad." He has a brief conversation with Dad but I can't make out the gist based on his side only. After he shuts off his phone, he turns to my mom. "There has been a change of plans. Our friends Will and Christina had their baby last night so I gave him some time off. The meeting requires three leaders. Tris, I need you at the meeting." I turn and look at Mom.

"Can you watch them?" I ask.

"Of course I'll watch them," she happily says.

"I'm glad I packed a couple bottles," I say. "She ate a little over an hour ago. Tyler, you're going to spend the day with Grandma. Mommy and Daddy need to go to a meeting. We'll be back this evening."

"Otay," he jovially says, running over and giving us each big hugs. I pick Tessa up and give her a hug and kiss before handing her to my mother.

"I'm sorry that we have to change our plans and that I'm leaving the kids with you again," I say.

"You don't ever have to apologize for asking me to spend time with my grandkids, what I would give for you to have known your grandmother. She would have loved you so much, and you could have learned so much from her." I give her a brief, loving hug then walk out of the house with Tobias after kissing each of the kids again. He takes my hand, and we walk the relatively short distance up the gray gravel road to the meeting place. Numerous people modestly dressed in light gray nod as we walk by but I'm too preoccupied to give them any of my time.

"I almost didn't recognize you, Beatrice," Caleb says when we reach the small gray amphitheater.

"I got my hair cut yesterday," I say. "It's a lot easier to get ready in the morning with two small children at home."

"I like it," he says. "It looks nice."

"Thanks," I say. "Did Will call Cara with the good news?"

"Yeah, she's at the hospital with their mom meeting her new nephew," he says, an affectionate smile lifting his lips. He's really in love. "What are you grinning at?"

"You," I say, lightly punching him in the shoulder. "You get all goofy looking when you talk about her."

"I do not," he says rubbing his arm. Apparently I'm stronger than I thought and hit him too hard or he is a major league wuss. I grin and nod my head up and down.

"Yeah, you do," I say.

"Kids," Dad scolds in a chastising tone. "Sometimes when I look at the two of you I swear I see 2-year-olds."

"That's because she _acts_ like a 2-year-old," Caleb says with a smirk. I narrow my eyes at him.

"I do not," I say with a pout. Tobias starts laughing and Dad shakes his head and rolls his eyes. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of black, and I turn my head fully expecting to see Tori but instead I see a familiar-looking short, stocky dark-skinned young man walking swiftly toward us. Dad, Caleb, and Tobias all notice my gaze and turn to look at our approaching visitor. I see a glint of steel, and all hell breaks loose.

I'm not exactly sure what's going on but Tobias knocks me to the ground and covers me with his body. That's when I recognize the familiar sound of rapid gunfire echoing under the cover of the amphitheater's domed slate gray roof. He's off of me like a shot and tackling the gunman to the ground, totally disregarding the bullets flying from the end of the pistol. I hear panicked screams, hysterical voices, and frantic footfalls running away from me in every direction. I look toward Tobias and see him putting cuffs on the gunman, and I try to clear the ringing in my ears.

I push myself into a sitting position and quickly go down a mental checklist searching for injuries and find that I have none. I look behind me and see both my father and brother lying beside me, blood covering their shirts. A horror-filled scream bursts through my lips, and I scramble not six feet away to my family. I notice a crimson stain slowly spreading across Caleb's left shoulder, and I rip open his shirt to find two bullet wounds. I can't believe that not two minutes ago we were bantering back and forth like normal siblings do and now I might lose him. I rip my sweater off over my head and press it into the wounds causing a loud groan to escape his lips. I look around anxiously trying to assess the situation, adrenaline-spiked blood coursing through my veins.

" _Dad_ , _DAD_ ," I shout. "Can you hear me?" I know I have to keep pressure on this wound or Caleb could bleed to death but I haven't seen my dad move a muscle, and I'm worried that we've lost him forever.

" _Tris!_ " Tori shouts as she comes running up to me. She must have just made it here. "What happened?"

"A man shot my brother and father," I say, fear thick in my voice. "Can you check on my dad? He won't answer me." She kneels down beside my dad with her back to me. I hold my breath while she assesses his injuries.

"Huh!" she exclaims disbelievingly after I hear her rip his shirt open. "He's not shot, Tris. He has no bullet wounds. He must have hit his head." She moves her body over his and gasps. "Yeah, he's bleeding from the back of the head." I wonder why he would have blood covering the front of his shirt if he wasn't injured there. It must be Caleb's. I look into his unconscious face and can see the pain he's suffering written all over it.

"Caleb, can you hear me?" I implore. "You need to wake up." I hear the grind of tires on gravel skidding to a stop, and I look behind me and gasp. Lying on his back, eyes wide with no life in them anymore is Jonah Thompson, my father's close friend, trusted advisor, and the man who married Tobias and me. My heart aches for a moment for his family then my eyes search for my husband. I just know he's the source of that racket I heard just a moment ago. Sure enough he's running toward me after pulling the car as close as he could to the commotion.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his hands hovering over my body when he finally reaches my side, his eyes full of worry and confusion.

"I'm fine," I say. "We've got to get my dad and brother to the hospital. Dad is bleeding from a head wound and Caleb's been shot." I stop and drag a ragged breath into my screaming lungs. "Jonah's dead." He looks at me for a split second before sweeping my brother up into his arms and carrying him to the car. I hesitantly move to Jonah's side to double check my unskilled diagnosis and put my trembling fingers on the pulse point in his neck. I wait but find nothing and gently close his eyelids. I look around at the carnage and see people tending to their friends, strangers, and faction mates. I also see the shooter sitting on a wide concrete step handcuffed to an iron railing, unable to escape. I've hated few people in my short life but I definitely count him among them. I start his way when long fingers easily wrap around my forearm and keep me frozen in place.

"He will be dealt with later," Tobias gruffly says. "I've got to get you, your brother, and father to the hospital."

"I don't have to go," I say.

"I knocked you down hard, Tris," he says forcefully. "I'm not going to argue with you about this. You're going to have Peanut checked out." I know he's right but I hate having to leave.

"Okay," I say.

"Jack!" he hollers. "Will you help me get my father-in-law to the car?" Jack, who looks like he's in a daze jogs over to our side and helps get my dad up off the ground. He is still unconscious and looks extremely pale. I hope two head injuries in a matter of months don't do any excessive damage. "I'm going to take Andrew, Caleb, and Tris to the hospital, pick up Natalie and the kids and take them to the hospital also, and then I will come back to help with this mess."

"Very well," Jack says. "Please be careful." They put Dad in the back seat while I'm moving the base for Tessa's car seat out of the way so I can sit down. Once the four of us are inside the car and buckled up, Tobias takes off like a shot and gets us to the hospital in record time. He slams the car to a stop in front of the emergency department and practically jumps out before he has it in park. Within seconds staff with two gurneys and one wheelchair come rushing through the automatic doors. They first get Caleb, who is the most severely injured, out of the car and into the hospital. Then they carefully get my dad out of the backseat and rush him into the building. A nurse has me sit in the wheelchair and heads toward the doors when Tobias calls out for me.

"What is it?" I ask, my voice still shaky.

"I'll be back soon with your mom and the kids," he says. "If there was someone I trusted in Abnegation, I would leave them there."

"No," I say. "I need to see that they are safe." He kisses the top of my head then the nurse continues us on our journey. I look over my shoulder when I hear the squeals of the tires on the pavement and see Tobias pull a U-turn and head back toward Abnegation.


	77. Chapter 77

The nurse wheels me through the big glass sliding automated double doors into the emergency room waiting room and toward the bank of elevators on the right. I look up at her with questioning eyes, and she tells me that she's taking me directly to the obstetrics ward to be looked at since the ER already had multiple patients when my dad and brother were brought in. Thinking about their injuries makes my heart hurt, and I flinch away from the pain, which makes the nurse ask if I'm okay. I tell her I'm fine. When we reach the now familiar fifth floor she takes me to a predetermined room where Isobel is patiently waiting for me.

"Hi, Tris," she says, trying to hide the concern in her voice. "We really should stop meeting like this."

"I agree," I say with a sigh. "Hey do you know if Will is with Christina?" She gives me an odd look.

"Yeah, he is," she says.

"Isobel, can you go get him for me," I say. "It's really important." She narrows her eyes disapprovingly but nods her head and leaves the room and within minutes comes back with Will following right behind her.

"Okay, Four was frantic when he called me and told me you had fallen," she says. "Can you tell me exactly what happened?" Will's eyes are anxious.

"There was a shooting at the council meeting in Abnegation," I say, watching her uneasy green eyes widen. I slide my eyes to Will's, and they too are shocked. "Being his overprotective self, Four tackled me to the ground. I feel fine but I understand the necessity of making sure she's okay." I rub my hand over my belly. "He would never forgive himself if something happened to the baby because of this. Will, the reason I called you in here is because Caleb was shot. He's in the emergency room. Cara needs to know but I thought the news would be better coming from you."

"Oh, my God!" he says running his hands through his shaggy hair. He looks so tired. I'm sure he didn't get much sleep if any last night. "Why? How? _Who_? I've got to go." He steps toward the door.

" _Will!_ I didn't tell you any of this to stress you out," I say. "You don't have to go anywhere. As a matter of fact, it's best if you stay with Christina and Liam."

"Are you sure?" he asks. I know how he feels. He feels like he's shirking his responsibility not being there, and that just isn't true.

"Four is bringing my mom and the kids over, and then he's heading back to help out," I say. "The shooter has been apprehended."

"Who is he?" he asks.

"I'm not sure but I think it's the shorter of the two men who are always with Maria," I say. Hatred fills his eyes. "Go, tell Cara and kiss Christina and Liam for me."

"I will," he says. "Let me know if you need anything." He heads out the door and Isobel looks at me expectantly.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I thought my brother's girlfriend should know about his condition."

"It was your brother who was shot?" she asks aghast.

"Yeah," I say. "And my dad is unconscious and bleeding from his head."

"Why are you so calm?" she asks. "I would be a blithering idiot."

"Training ... _shock_ ," I say. "I really don't know."

"We should get this examination started, make sure you and the fetus are okay," she says helping me out of the wheelchair and handing me a gown. "Have you felt movement yet?"

"Yes, I have," I say. I hold up the despicable robe and ask, "What's this for?"

"I'm going to do a full examination just to be on the safe side," she sternly says. This is not my favorite thing to do but I will submit to anything for Peanut's sake. _Please let her be okay_. "Are you feeling movement right now?"

"No," I say, worry starting to creep up on me.

"Were you feeling movement in the moment's right before your fall?" she asks. I think about her question, absentmindedly running one hand over my swollen abdomen.

"I don't think so but my mind was on other things," I say slowly shaking my head. "I really can't be sure."

"That's okay," she says. "I'll leave you for a few minutes to change." My mind wanders to the ER as I change out of my comfortable clothes into the loathsome gown, and I wonder how my dad and brother are at this moment. I also wonder if anyone else was hurt beside Jonah. _Hurt! What are you thinking, Tris?_ _He was killed_. A tear comes to my eye, which is quickly dried by rage. Who was that man, and why did he do what he did? He was coming right at me and my family with deadly intent in his eyes and drew his gun and opened fire. I am 100% sure that he hails from the same faction that I do. We taught him that … _Dauntless_.

Isobel comes back into the room just as I sit down on the examination table in the ridiculous, revealing garment. She does a thorough physical examination and an emergency ultrasound. When the thundering gallop of Peanut's heartbeat echoes throughout the room, I let out a sigh of relief but only calm marginally. Tobias will be happy to hear that he didn't hurt me or the baby. I know he must be extremely worried about us at the moment. Of course, he always worries.

"Looks like no damage was done from your fall," she says. "I didn't expect there to be any complications. The fetus is very well protected in there. If you have any spotting or cramping, get to a doctor immediately whether it's here in the hospital or Dauntless' infirmary. Go ahead and get dressed. I'll fill out the necessary paperwork for you, and then you're free to go."

"Thank you so much, Isobel," I say, acute stress still in my voice.

"I need you to do something for me," she says. My brows raise with intrigue. She's never asked me to do anything for her before. "I need you to calm down. Stress isn't good for you or the baby."

"I know," I say. "I'll try."

"The deep breathing exercises that Four taught you are a form of relaxation," she says. "You can do a few repetitions of three or four deep breaths, and it can be calming for you. Give it a try." She turns and walks out of the room to let me get dressed, and I take advantage of the solitude and close my eyes. I breathe deeply in through my nose and blow it out slowly through my parted lips. I do this four more times then open my eyes to find Tobias standing in front of me with a concerned look on his handsome face. I move directly into his arms, and he holds me against his chest.

"Everything's fine with Peanut," I whisper. I hear him breathe a sigh of relief. "Isobel said I can get dressed and then I can go down to the emergency room. Do you know how Dad and Caleb are?"

"I just dropped your mom and the kids off in the waiting room," he says. "There's been no word yet according to Cara."

"Is she downstairs?" I ask taking the silly gown off and starting to get redressed.

"Yeah," he says, eyeing my naked body appreciatively while he has the chance. He stands in front of the door so no one can get in until I'm fully dressed once again. A wide smile turns up my lips when I feel the little bubble-like sensation in my abdomen.

"She's moving around," I say, breathing a sigh of relief. "I hope you weren't _too_ worried."

"It was excruciating knowing that I could have harmed her or _you_ but when I saw his gun," he shakes his head trying to clear the horror, "all I could think about was protecting you."

"You did your job, and we're both fine," I say tipping my head back and pulling his mouth to mine. I would love to thoroughly explore his mouth with my tongue and give into the simmering current that is running between us all of a sudden, the same current that always flows unrestricted when we're stressed or in danger but I know we have important things to attend to so I only give him a short, loving peck. "I love you, Tobias Eaton."

"I love you, too," he huskily says, his darkening eyes mirroring my feelings. "We better go before I rip your clothes back off and we make use of that uncomfortable examination table." A low husky growl sounds at the back of my throat, and I shake my head trying to clear the heady desire. I take him by the hand and pull him out of the private room and down the hallway to the nurse's station where Isobel is getting my release paperwork. The moment we walk into the common area my head clears, and I can see sanity return to his eyes. I look up at him through my lashes and smile bashfully. He tilts the hand that's holding mine back and slowly circles his thumb over my palm and kisses my temple. I sign everywhere Isobel tells me to, she reminds me to do the relaxation exercises, and then she releases me. Tobias leads me through the familiar hallways to the bank of elevators that will take us directly down to the emergency department.

When the doors shut, we automatically take a step closer to each other, the strange electricity back. I peek up at him, and he's looking down at me with a deep-seated need radiating out from his nearly black eyes. One minute we're staring longingly into each other's eyes, our pulses racing, our breathing accelerated and the next we're in each other's arms, our lips, tongues, hands, and hearts moving as one. I tilt my head back to catch my breath, and he moves his lips to my left ear and nibbles gently, and I feel a delicious tingling between my thighs. I drag his mouth back to mine and meld my body to every inch of his. I lightly run the tip of my tongue along his quivering bottom lip, and he opens his sweet mouth to me. I thrust my tongue into his mouth and drink him in. A shrill bell sounds indicating we've reached our destination, and we jump away from each other, color flooding both our cheeks. I look at him, and we start laughing. He moves his arm to jam the closing doors, and we step out into the cool waiting area of the emergency room, which brings us back to our senses once again. Tyler sees us and comes running. I scoop him up in my arms and hug him tight. It's so good to see him, hold him. Tobias rubs his back lovingly.

"Listen, love, I promised Jack that I would go back and help with the aftermath," Tobias says, his hands on either side of my face, his gaze threatening to set me on fire. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes," I say and am startled when I realize I mean it. "We'll be here waiting for you. _Please_ be safe." My voice pleads with him. He gives me a hard parting kiss, and I see uncertainty and dread return to his eyes as he turns and walks away from us. I watch his back until I can no longer see him then go over to my mother with Tyler clinging to me, and we sit down. I study her face, and her features are set with determination. She is so strong. I think back to the hours we spent sitting in these very chairs waiting to hear news from the doctors about Dad's condition three months ago. So much has happened since then yet everything feels the same. Now we're waiting to hear the fate of _two_ loved ones. I hug Tyler tighter to me, and he reciprocates the affection. I don't know if I'm gaining strength from him or him from me but it seems to make us both feel better.

"Thank you for having Will tell me about Caleb," Cara says, her face ashen, dried tracks of countless tears streaking her distressed face. My heart goes out to her. He's my brother and I love him dearly but he is her love and that makes the feelings different. I know how I would feel if it were Tobias lying in there with two bullet wounds.

"Of course, Cara," I say. "Have the doctors given you any kind of update on him?" I know they haven't but it doesn't hurt hoping.

"No," she says. "It's _very_ frustrating."

"Yes it is," my mom softly says, reaching out and lovingly patting her knee. Cara grasps her hand tightly. It's nice to see them getting along, especially when she was so unforgivably rude the first time they met.

We wait for hours for word from the doctors. I leave Tyler and Tessa with Mom and Cara and make a quick trip to the cafeteria for sandwiches, chips, sliced apples, and bottles of water. No one eats very well, not even Tessa who is remarkably in tune with the stress everyone's feeling. This indicates to me that my poor baby is going to have a rough night. She's fitfully sleeping in my arms, dreaming of what I'm unsure, and she's suckling intently at nothing. I put a knuckle in her mouth and she suckles deeply. I take my finger out of her mouth, and she opens her eyes and starts crying noisily. I'm pulling her blanket up over her head so she can eat even though she only finished nursing an hour ago when a familiar face comes through the heavy wooden door. Every head in the room turns to look expectantly at the doctor.

"Prior family?" he calls after pausing to read the chart in his hand, deciphering who it is he needs to speak with among the numerous people milling about the room. My mother stands, and he approaches us.

"I'm Dr. Wilson," he says. "Are you the family of Andrew Prior?"

"Yes, I'm his wife," Mom says. "How is he, doctor?"

"We've been running tests to identify the extent of his injuries," he says. "I'm afraid that he has suffered a hard blow to the back of his head. Does anyone know how this happened? Is there any information you can give me?"

"I'm sorry," she says, worry audible in her steady voice. This has to be so hard for her. "I was at home this morning with my grandchildren. Beatrice, is there any information you can give the doctor?" She looks at me expectantly as does Cara.

"There was a gunman, and my husband knocked me to the ground," I say. "I'm sorry but I didn't see what happened to him. I do have a theory though."

"I'll take anything at this time," he says.

"I think Caleb, my brother, saw what was coming, and he knocked Dad out of the way," I say. "When I first saw them, they both had blood on the fronts of their shirts. I thought they both had been shot. I found Caleb's wounds but my fellow Dauntless leader didn't find any wounds other than my dad's head wound." Dr. Wilson is shuffling through some paperwork and a look of revelation crosses his face.

"I'm sorry I should have realized that Andrew and Caleb Prior were related," he says. "Caleb is in surgery as we speak. He has two through-and-through gunshot wounds on his left shoulder. The surgeon is repairing the damage. He should make a full recovery, although there is a possibility of nerve damage in that shoulder. He did regain consciousness before he was taken into the operating room but he was quite confused. I'm afraid that nothing he said was coherent.

"As for Andrew, we are waiting the MRI results and for him to regain consciousness so we can determine the extent of his injury," he says. "I see in his chart he suffered a beating in February, which resulted in a moderate-to-severe head injury. Mrs. Prior, preceding today's indecent did you notice any residual effects from that injury?" She slowly starts shaking her head.

"No, it's my opinion he made a full recovery," she says. "I didn't notice a change in his personality, which the doctor's warned me could happen. He was himself. What can we do for him?"

"We're going to transfer him up to the intensive care unit on the third floor," he says. "We'll be taking care of him there, monitoring for swelling and such, until he wakes and we can determine the extent of his injury. It's going to take us a while to get him transferred upstairs. I'm afraid that the hospital is busier than normal today. You may all stay here until we take Andrew and Caleb to their rooms. Thank you." Mom sinks into the soft leather couch and lets out an exasperated breath.

"They'll both be okay," Cara says before I get the chance to. "Since there is nothing I can do here for the moment, I'm going to go visit with my brother and my new nephew."

"Tell Christina and Will hello for me," I say.

"Of course, Tris. Thanks again for letting me know about Caleb," she says then walks to the elevators. A shiver runs down my spine, and mom looks at me.

"I've meant to ask you why you are only wearing that tank top," she says.

"My shirt had blood on it," I hesitantly say. Her eyebrows raise, and she gives me an anxious look. "I took it off to try and stop Caleb's bleeding."

"Of course you did," she says. She wraps her arm around me, rubbing her hand up and down my exposed arm trying to warm it.

"Are you cold?" Tobias asks. I'm shocked to hear the sound of his voice. I wasn't expecting him for a while. I turn and nod at him. "I'll be right back." He disappears down a dimly lit hallway, and I wonder what he's up to. Moments later he comes back with a black fleece jacket that zips up the front. He must have bought it in the gift shop. He goes to take Tessa out of my arms, and I have to stop him.

"She's eating," I say.

"Oh!" he says. "Sorry." He sits down beside me and wraps the jacket around my shoulders. I immediately feel the ice in my veins begin to thaw.

"Thank you," I say. I add in hushed tones, "How bad is it?"

"Not good," he says. "Six dead, several injured. You were lucky you weren't hurt, Tris. I don't know what I would have done if he had hurt you."

"Well, he didn't," I say. "Try not to think about that."

"He was aiming the gun at _you_ ," he says. Sadness wells up inside me. Six dead including Jonah because of me. That damn harpy, guilt, rears her ugly head, and I try to push her away. I didn't do anything to cause this. _I_ shouldn't be guilty but the bastard was aiming at me and then my family and others got hurt and worse.

"Has he talked yet?" I ask. "Who _is_ he?"

"He won't say a word," he says. "Jack took him to Candor to lock him up. He has to put him under truth serum to get his _name_ out of him."

"That's a first," I say. I put my head on his shoulder, and he wraps his arm around me.

"He's going to call when he gets his name so we can investigate who he is and why he'd put so many people in danger," Tobias says. "Once we have a reason to interrogate under truth serum, we will do so."

"I think he's one of Maria's minions," I quietly say.

"I think you're right," he says. "Do you have any news on your dad and Caleb?"

"Caleb's in surgery having his shoulder repaired. He has two through-and-through wounds," I say. "Dr. Wilson just updated us not that long ago. He expects him to make a full recovery, although he could have some nerve damage. It's Dad I'm worried about. He's not waking up. They're going to take him up to the intensive care unit when they get a chance. They obviously are overwhelmed today. What if two head injuries proves too much?"

"Don't think that way," he says. "Your dad is one of the strongest men I've ever met. I think that's where your strength comes from. He's going to be fine." He suddenly looks around me, and I turn and notice Tyler rubbing his eyes.

"Come here, buddy," he says, releasing me from his embrace. Tyler gets down from the chair next to Mom and runs to his dad. Tobias picks him up, and Tyler lies his head down on his shoulder and immediately closes his eyes. I kiss his forehead but he doesn't move. I notice that Tessa is sound asleep again, so I straighten my clothes and wrap the blanket around her and let her sleep on my shoulder. Tobias slides his hand over and rests it on my right knee, and I cover it with my free hand. We lace our fingers together, and I feel his life pulsing into me making me feel like everything is going to be okay. Only he and the kids have the power to give me such a positive outlook on life.


	78. Chapter 78

Tobias and I sit side-by-side on a comfortable 2-seater leather couch in the waiting room of the emergency room holding our children while we wait for further word on Dad and Caleb. Seconds turn into minutes, which turn into hours. Both kids wake after a while, restless, cranky, stressed ... possibly scared, and it's hard to contain their energy.

"I should take them home," I say.

"No," Tobias says. "This is your family." _Your family too_ , I think. "You stay. I'll take the kids home."

"Tobias," I say then my eyes widen. This is the first time that I've screwed up and called him by his given name in public. I lower my voice and say, "I am _so_ sorry." He rests his forehead on him and gazes lovingly into my eyes.

"It's okay, love," he says. "I prefer it when you call me by my name. Sometimes I hate it when you call me Four." I furrow my brows at him.

"I'd call you baby but you laugh at me," I say. He laughs once again from deep in his belly and I smirk, no longer affronted. "God, I love you."

"Not as much as I love you," he says.

"You wanna bet?" I ask. A feral growl resonates from the back of his throat, and I nearly come from the sound. My lips part, and my mouth instantly goes dry as the Sahara Dessert. I want him so much in this moment. I lower my eyes, looking at anything else trying to clear the desire fog that's swirling around my brain but it doesn't work.

He places his lips up against my ear and says, "I want to take you home ... or to a bathroom." A giggle rips from my throat. I want that, too, but I also want to make sure my family is okay. I sit up straight, and he sways a bit from my sudden movement. When our eyes meet we know that this insatiable hunger we're both feeling isn't going to be satisfied anytime soon. "I understand. Will you help me get them to the car?"

"Of course," I say. "Mom, I'm going to help take the kids to the car. He's going to take them home." I'm going to do my best not to call him Four anymore unless absolutely necessary. He deserves that much from me.

"Why don't you go with them?" she says. "All we can do here is sit and wait."

"I want to wait with you," I softly say. "I need to know that they'll both be okay." A look of understanding flashes on her face and she nods. I buckle Tessa into her carrier and Tobias picks it up. I hold my arms out to Tyler, and he runs into them, excited at the prospect of going home. Maybe the hospital reminds him of the forced visits with Evelyn and Ethan, I don't know. I gather him up in my arms, and we head to the underground parking garage. After getting the kids situated, Tobias looks down into my eyes. He runs the back of his fingers up my neck and into my hair and bends down and puts his mouth on mine. I sigh against his parted lips as he thrusts his tongue directly into my mouth, making love to it. He presses himself against me, and I feel his burgeoning erection, which is driving me crazy. The sound of his cell phone ringing makes him groan into my mouth, and he pulls away from me. He straightens up and answers.

"What?" he grumpily says. I suppress a little giggle. He's not in a very good mood at the moment. "Sorry, Jack. It's been a long day." My ears perk up when he says Jack. "Wesley Harkin? Thanks for the information. I'll call Harrison and have him get right on it. Thanks again, Jack." He's silent for a moment longer, listening intently then sighs. "I really wish we could postpone his interrogation for a little while, just until we can figure out what his motives were." More silence. "Yeah, I know. I understand but it's just ... he was aiming that gun at my wife. He _shot_ my brother-in-law." _He killed Jonah_. "Thank you for holding off. I promise, Monday. Bye."

"What was that all about?" I ask the inexplicable yearning I was feeling just seconds ago gone, my brain clear of the love fog, and my mind back at the amphitheater.

"The shooter's name is Wesley Harkin," he says. "Sound familiar?" _Wesley Harkin?_

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I've never heard it before in my life."

"He neither. Candor wanted to do the interrogation immediately," he says. "I talked Jack into postponing it until Monday. Hopefully by then we can find Maria and whoever else is working with her, and they can all be interrogated at the same time and this can come to an end."

"Be safe," I say leaning up on my tiptoes to place my lips to his. "I love you."

"I'll be waiting for you when you get home. We'll lock the door," he says, his voice rich like dark chocolate. He's making the delicious feeling he causes right below my navel to intensify, nearly turning my legs to jelly. "I love you, too." He thankfully only kisses my forehead then gets in the car. I don't think I could take much more of this tormenting tango we've been doing since the shooting. I stand back and wave as he drives off, taking my heart with him momentarily. I close my eyes and inhale deeply. It amazes me how much my love for him grows each day. I turn and come face to face with my father-in-law and stop in my tracks, fear and aggravation replacing the wanton desire.

"Hello, Beatrice," he says emotionlessly. I swallow nervously as he looks me up and down. What's he doing here? "You look ... radiant. Must be the pregnancy." What's his game?

"Marcus," I reply trying to sound nonchalant. I'm not sure if I quite manage it. "May I ask what you are doing here?"

"Quite a few friends of mine were hurt today ... _killed_ even," he says. "I've been paying my respects to their families." Funny, I didn't see him in the waiting room though I wasn't paying that much attention.

"Is there something I can do for you?" I ask trying to stay calm. He stares at me with those soulless eyes making my skin crawl. Squalling tires catch both our attention, and I step out of the way of our speeding car as Tobias comes flying up. He throws it into park, and he jumps out.

"Get away from her," he firmly says pointing at his father who takes a step back. How did he know?

"I was just talking to her, Tobias," he innocently says.

"Tris, over here ... _now_ ," he says. The intensity in his voice frightens me but the moment I step up beside him, I feel safe once again. His eyes fly to mine, worry evident, and then he hesitantly moves them back to his father. "What are you doing here, Marcus?"

"Just like I was telling Beatrice here, I have been paying my respect to the families of some very dear friends," he says innocently. "I'm not here to make trouble for you."

"Why didn't you show yourself until after I left then?" he asks. "I saw you step out of the shadows just after I pulled away."

"I just wanted to talk to my daughter-in-law, see if the truce she spoke of in Jack's office was real or if it was a ploy," he says.

"We have nothing to say to you," he angrily says. "I know what you're doing. You're toying with us, and I won't have it. I've said it before but I'll say it again, my life is better off without you in it, and I want you to leave me and my family alone.

"Mommy!" I hear Tyler's frightened but muffled voice from the back seat of the car. I open the door. "What wong?" He looks so anxious. I kneel down and run my fingers through his hair.

"Absolutely nothing is wrong," I say trying to comfort him. I pull a book and a sippy cup of milk out of his diaper bag and hand them to him. "Why don't you look at this while Mommy and Daddy talk to this man?"

" _This man!_ " Marcus says with venom in his voice. "I'm his _grandfather_!"

"No," Tobias says smoothly, firmly. "You. Are. _Nothing_. Get in the car, Tris." I don't argue with him. He's very much on edge right now. I close Tyler's door and walk around the car and get in. Tobias takes two steps closer to his father. _Please don't hit him again, Tobias_. Jack might not intervene again. I keep my eyes on Marcus' face, watching his reaction. Something shifts in his demeanor. "You will leave us alone from this day forward. Do. You. Understand. Me?"

"It really is you who doesn't want anything to do with me," he says dumfounded, all color draining from his face. My mouth drops open.

"You finally get it," Tobias says, closing his eyes for a moment. When they open, the intense anger is gone, and it's replace by something I can't quite pinpoint. "It's not Tris. If it were up to her, you would have been at our wedding. You would be a part of our children's lives. I honestly believe that if it were up to her, I would forgive you for my hellish childhood so _I_ could move on." He once again sounds like that helpless child but then his voice turns hard as steel. "But this is _my_ decision. You will never be welcome in my life or in the lives of my children. _You_ did this. _You_ made this decision necessary. Do you think I want the man who constantly took a belt to me or raised his fists to me in anger to be around my precious children? Do you think I would entrust their care, safety, or wellbeing to the monster who would lock me in a closet. Do you think I could forgive you for _giving_ my wife to her rapist?" They stand staring at each other. Marcus looks browbeaten. He actually flinched at Tobias' words. "Please, I'm _begging_ , if you have any love for me at all, _leave_ ... _me_ ... _alone_." He turns and gets in the car and pulls away.

I want to ask where he's taking me since I'm supposed to be inside the hospital with my mother right now waiting on word of Dad and Caleb's conditions but I don't want to break the uncomfortable silence. He drives aimlessly at first then I realize we're heading toward home. I gaze up at him, studying his face. He looks angry, hurt, shocked, agonized. I reach out and set my hand on his upper thigh. He takes a hand off the steering wheel without looking my way and covers my hand with his. He squeezes it then laces our fingers together, brings them to his mouth kissing the back of my hand, then lays them back down.

"I saw him in the rearview mirror," he roughly says. "I couldn't get back to you fast enough. I'm going to get Avery to watch the kids again then we'll go back to the hospital. I can't have you being alone right now. There's no telling what he will do." As much as I would like to, I don't argue with him. I can tell that he's extremely fragile at the moment. I keep staring at his face worrying that he's going to break down at any moment. "Tris, stop staring at me." He slides his eyes to mine, and I see light there. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, and I stop worrying. I look over my shoulder to check on the kids, and they're both sound asleep. "What did he want?"

"Nothing that I know of," I say. "To intimidate me? I don't know. He might have been telling the truth about being there to visit people." He glides his eyes to me and the look in them frighten me.

"Why is it that you must always stand up for him?" he spits, pushing my hand away from him. My eyes widen and all the air in my lungs expel at once, and I stare up openmouthed at him. He's never spoken to me like this.

"Please don't push me away like that ever again," I say, my voice weak. I don't recognize it. It sounds foreign. I take a couple deep breaths, trying to restore my strength. "I'm not standing up for him, Tobias. I hate that man probably more than you do."

"I highly doubt that," he says, emotionlessly. He does have some of his father in him after all. I always wondered how he could mask his emotions so well, he gets it from him.

"I love you more than anything in this world," I say, my voice thankfully steady, strong. "What he did to you as a child makes me _sick_. I have a deep hatred for anyone ... or anything for that matter ... who hurts you. Why can't you see that?" We're quite for the rest of the drive. I stare out the window thinking about what transpired today. I close my eyes and take five deep breaths slowly in through my nose and let them out just as slowly through my mouth. I calm some but I'm still restless, on edge.

We still haven't spoken or looked at each other when we pull up in front of the Pire. He stops the car, and we carefully get the kids out as not to wake them then take them up to their bedrooms to nap. I walk into our room to change into a warmer shirt. The waiting room at the emergency room has me chilled to the bone. I feel him standing behind me before I see him or hear him. I close my eyes. I don't want to fight anymore, especially about his good-for-nothing father.

He puts his hands on my shoulders and slowly turns me around. We stare deeply into each other's eyes for a moment then we're on each other like a shot. I need him. He needs me. His mouth moves aggressively against mine prompting me to open for him. He thrusts his tongue into my mouth claiming it once again as his own. His hands are everywhere on me, my breasts, my hair, my back, my behind, my belly while mine are grasping the back of his head firmly making sure he can't move away from me.

"Tobias, the door," I breathlessly say when he finally moves his mouth to my neck, not wanting a repeat of Tyler walking in on us.

"I already locked it," he roughly says.

"You're a bit presumptuous, aren't you?" I unevenly whisper, desire thick in my voice. I feel his lips turn up into a smile against my skin. Suddenly he falls to his knees in front of me and pulls my yoga pants and sheer lacy boy shorts down with one sweeping motion, and I step out of them, kicking them to the side. He puts my left leg on his shoulder and buries his head between my legs, and I feel his hot, wet tongue dart out and glide so provocatively over my throbbing nubbin as he insert two fingers into me, moving them tantalizingly slowly back and forth. "Aahh. _Ooohhh_." I throw my head back and absorb the sensation. He abruptly stops the wonderful attention leaving me feeling empty, and I nearly fall over.

He stands back up and turns me away from him and bends me over the end of the bed. I gasp at the aggressive and unexpected movements. He places himself against my moist entrance and fills me completely in one swift motion causing me to cry out. He stills himself deep inside of me, and I sink down onto my forearms at the base of my bed, resting my cheek on my folded hands as I pant beneath him while he covers my body with his. I feel his hands caressing my hips and his heavy breath on the side of my neck, and I clench down on him causing him to groan deeply in my ear.

"I can't wait any longer," he says, all needy and breathy. "I want you so much." He raises up and grabs my hips and pulls nearly out of me before slamming fully home causing me to cry out in overwhelming pleasure. He pulls back and repeats the motion then sets a hedonistic rhythm of slamming thrusts. After I regain my senses, I push back to meet every one of his demanding drives. He once again wraps himself around me, never slowing the frenzied pace, and he starts a gentle circular motion with his fingers on my throbbing nubbin. I feel the rapid approach of an overwhelming release looming heavily. I raise up on my arms and move with him vigorously, the overpowering need starting to suck me into the abyss. I explode around his hammering shaft into a million points of light. I feel like I'm floating above my body momentarily before slamming back into it. Tobias buries himself so deep, and I cry out once again then he lets out a growl as he releases himself into me. I stand, arms and legs threatening to buckle, spasming around his length once again. My legs do give out, and we tumble to the floor. He drags me into his arms, and I can feel wetness rolling down his cheeks. I pull back and look into his shattered eyes.

"What's wrong?" I whisper, alarmed. He's too overcome with emotion to speak so I wrap my arms around him and rock him like he's a child in my loving embrace. He grasps at me with both his hands as he pulls himself together. _Oh, my love, what's wrong with you?_ Usually _I'm_ the one who is overcome when we make love and sob into his arms. This is another first for us. "Baby, tell me what's wrong." He laughs and I smile. I said it intentionally. I hear the word baby on his breath.

"I'm so sorry, Tris," he hoarsely says, somber once more. "The way I just treated you was unforgivable." Okay, I'm confused. What the hell is he talking about?

"Um, _Tobias_?" I ask trying to gather my scattered thoughts. "I ... don't ... understand."

"I just fucked my own wife, and that's not how I want it to be between us," he says and I gasp ... _loudly_. He's never spoken this way in front of me, and I don't know what to make of what he's saying. I open my mouth to form the word once, twice, a third time but nothing comes out. I must be in shock.

"Tobias Eaton ... what ... I ... you. Oh." My mouth is moving but it no longer works. I see the Four mask settle over his face taking away from me my only way of knowing how he truly feels right now. I lower my head trying to absorb what he said. _Fucking_? No, we make love. It may be slow, sweet, sensual one time and heavy, rough, and aggressive the next but it's _always_ making love. I need to tell him this but my mouth is still not forming complete sentences. He gets up off the floor and turns his back on me. He's still fully clothed. I grab my panties and yoga pants and slide them back on. _There_ , _now we're back on equal ground._

I drag myself to my feet, glad my legs no longer feel like jelly, and touch his arm. He tenses but thankfully doesn't pull away. He's angry at himself but I'm not entirely sure why. I stand behind him and wrap my arms around him. I splay my hands out on his taut abs, and I feel them tighten below my fingers then I feel his entire body relax. He manages to turn in my arms and wraps me in his cocoon-like embrace. After a minute, I pull back and gaze into his troubled eyes.

"What I was so ineloquently trying to say earlier is that we don't fuck, Tobias," I whisper, turning cherry red at the word. It feels wrong on my tongue. "We make love. I think I've told you this before. You taught me that there are different ways to make love. It doesn't always have to be slow and sensual. If you really think about it, it very rarely is between us. We are two passionate people. We want fire and lust, passion and aggression when we're showing each other how we truly feel. I'm insulted that you would classify our love in that way."

"I hurt you," he says. I try not to but I stiffen in his arms. Yes, I'm sore right now but it isn't intolerable. As a matter of fact, I like it.

"You didn't hurt me," I say. He glares at me.

"You're lying," he says, emotionless once again. Okay, maybe he needs the absolute truth here. I don't want to send him over the edge because I'm afraid I wouldn't get him back.

"I'm not lying," I say. "You didn't hurt me."

He interrupts me once again and says, "I could hear it in your voice, Tris. You screamed out over and over, and I just kept going. I wasn't concerned for how you were feeling. I just wanted to come." Once again he catches me off guard, and I gasp. He's left me tongue tied by what he just said but then something pops into my mind, and I shake my head.

"Now _you're_ lying, Tobias," I say. His Four mask dissolves, and he looks down at me incredulously. I back out of his arms. If I'm going to say this I need a little distance. I pick up his right hand and hold it between us. I look at his fingers that have the talent to bring me to my knees. "You made sure I came too. You were concerned for my pleasure." He shakes his head. Does he not realize what he did? "While you were pounding in and out of me deliciously," his jaw drops and his eyes nearly pop out of his head, "you were touching, no caressing me ... my ... " _Please don't make me say it, Tobias._ I implore him with my eyes but he's staring down at me mesmerized. I drop my eyes to the floor, blushing a new color of red. "Clitoris." The word is barely audible. He puts his fingers on my chin and forces me to look up but I manage to avoid his eyes.

"Please look at me, Beatrice Grace," he says, his voice silky, smooth, and velvety, his tongue caressing my full name. I slide my nervous eyes to his and find my Tobias once again standing in front of me with a soft smile on his lips and I relax. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I was so consumed in my own feelings that I felt like I was using you. You're sure you're okay?"

"Absolutely delightful," I say a little too quickly and we laugh lightly together. "We've been together a lot now but I would definitely count this among our best." I blush scarlet again. "You must know, you didn't hurt me but I am a little sore but I don't mind one bit. I have a wonderful reminder that you were inside me this evening. I like when you're inside me, Tobias, when we're one." It's his turn to gasp.

"I never want to hurt you," he says, his eyes very serious. He reaches up and cups my cheek, and I lean into it automatically. How do I reassure him? I furrow my brows at him and take both his hands in mine.

"If you ever did anything to truly hurt me, I would stop you immediately, Tobias. Pain is not a turn on for me. But I don't think you would ever hurt me, not intentionally," I huskily say. "Will you kiss me? _Please_. I don't like fighting with you." He smiles his sweet Tobias smile and steps forward. He puts his mouth on mine and moves his lips deliberately, passionately, lovingly with mine. Our tongues are choreographing their own salsa when I hear Tessa on the baby monitor fussing. He pulls back and stares down into my eyes. He kisses my forehead, and I fully expect him to let me go but he proceeds to leisurely kiss each eyelid, the tip of my nose, and my left ear before he puts his lips on mine once again and gives me a long, slow, drugging kiss. When he backs away from me, he gives me a smile as warm and gooey as our homemade chocolate chip cookies, and I nearly melt.

I make my way into Tessa's room in a daze. I will always be amazed by what that man has the power to do to me. I pick her up and change her wet diaper then sit down to feed her again. I hear Tobias in Tyler's room talking softly to him. Tyler follows Tobias into the room and sits at my feet with a book.

"I called Avery," Tobias says. "She'll be over in about half-an-hour. I also called Harrison and told him about Wesley Harkin. He's doing research into him right now. The city has heard about what happened in Abnegation today. The atmosphere is tense. People want to know that they're safe." I want to know that I'm safe and more importantly that he and the kids are safe.

"I'm sorry, Tyler," I say. He abandons his book momentarily and looks up at me with wide eyes. "Mommy and Daddy have to go back to the hospital to check on Grandpa and Uncle Caleb. I'm afraid we're going to have to postpone macaroni and cheese again."

"Actually, Avery is swinging by the cafeteria and bringing him some mac and cheese," Tobias says. "I didn't want to break a promise two nights in a row." I smile at him brightly, this wonderful man who I love more than anything, who would rather cut out his own heart than hurt me and our children. "But I told him the next family night we have, I will make my special macaroni and cheese just for him." I look at Tyler, and he's smiling up at me.

"I love you, Tyler," pops out of my mouth and he grins even more.

"Love you, Mommy," he says. I want to hug him close but I can't. Tessa might not like being all squished between the two of us!

Loud knocking sounds through the apartment and Tobias sweeps Tyler up into his arms causing him to giggle and kisses me on the head before heading downstairs. I finish nursing Tessa then change her into a solid pink sleeper and carry her to the living room. I sit her in her swing but don't turn it on. Tyler and Avery are sitting side-by-side at the island eating the cafeteria's cheese-covered corkscrew-shaped pasta he loves so much. I swear he could live on macaroni and cheese.

"We better get going," Tobias says taking my hand after making me eat some of the pasta also. "Tyler, you be good for Avery. Avery, no company tonight please. I appreciate what you and Callen did for us last night but I have to be honest, I was uncomfortable leaving you both here with my kids."

"I understand, Four," she says blushing slightly. "He's with some of his friends tonight anyway. I know you don't like him coming over." Tobias' mask slips away, and he gives her a genuine smile. I can't be sure but I think I see her swoon. _Oh_ , _poor girl._ That's never happened before. She must have gotten the full effect of my husband's megawatt smile. I grin to myself. He's coming out of his shell more and more each day. He tells me it's because of me. I swoon too.

"Tyler, buddy, you be a good boy," I say pulling him up into my arms. He gives me a big bear hug then a sloppy wet kiss right on the lips. "Your kisses are nearly as good as Daddy's." He giggles.

"I love you, Mommy," he says. "I be good." He rests his head on my shoulder for a moment while I hold him close, unwilling to let him go quite yet.

"Tris," Tobias says. "Your mother is going to be worried." Oh my mom. How could I have forgotten about her? I kiss Tyler's head and put him on his feet then Tobias takes my hand, and we head back to the hospital.


	79. Chapter 79

Tobias and I are flying down the road on our way back to the hospital to check on my dad and Caleb. Right after I got into the car, I checked my phone and found three missed calls from my mom. She didn't leave a message but I know she must be worried sick, and I mentally kick myself for adding to her stress. I'm relaxed in the leather seat, staring out the rolled down window, the crisp early evening air blowing through my hair ... it feels so refreshing ... when I feel Tobias' eyes on me, and I glance over at him. He has a very intense look on his face.

"I'm sorry, Tris," he says. I furrow my brows at him. What's he talking about now? He's been all over the map today.

"What for?" I ask.

"Everything. Speaking to you the way I did after we made love," he says running a hand through his hair, frustrated. "Pushing you away in the car. Picking a fight at the most inopportune time. I don't know what came over me."

"First of all, we both need to do a better job of not letting Marcus Eaton push our buttons for so many reasons," I say. "Don't ever push me away like that again, Tobias. It hurt and I didn't deserve it."

"I don't know what I was thinking. I am _so_ sorry," he says putting his hand on my thigh. "Thinking about him makes me angry. Seeing and talking to him makes me furious."

"It also makes you a little crazy," I say, slowly bringing my eyes to meet his intense gaze. Did I make him mad again? I sigh. "Don't be angry. I say this because I care about you and what happens to you. I love you and you were right, if it were up to me you would forgive your father, forgive yourself, and you would let the ghosts of your past rest. All this angst isn't good for you. But you misinterpret what I say as me giving the benefit of the doubt to your father when in fact I'm just trying to help you heal."

"I've never thought about it that way," he roughly says. "I've always thought you were concerned more for Marcus' feelings than my own." I gape at him. He's rendered me speechless.

"How could you think that, Tobias?" I ask. " _You_ are ... everything to me. I thought you knew that. He is _nothing_. The only reason I asked if you wanted to invite him to the wedding was for _your_ benefit. The only reason I've ever asked if you think you can reconcile with him is for _your_ benefit. I could care less about _him_ ... it's you."

"I guess I owe you yet another apology for thinking that I don't deserve you," he says keeping his eyes fixed on the road. We both have the same self-deprecating thought process. Neither thinks we're good enough for the other. I sigh and he drags his eyes to mine.

"I love you. That's not going to change. Well actually it does. I love you more and more each day. You know, more today than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow. That's never a lie or an exaggeration. If you don't deserve me, then I sure as hell don't deserve you, and I'm just beginning to accept that I _do_ deserve you."

"More today than yesterday," he whispers.

"And as for the mini breakdown after we made love, I don't like that word, Tobias," I say making myself keep my eyes on his. I want more than anything to drop them in embarrassment and I flush. "Others may see it differently but ... fucking," the word is barely audible, "is something strangers do, no love ... just lust. What we have is special, rare, beautiful, and _so_ much more. We have love _AND_ lust. There's a difference." A beautiful smiles lights up his face just as a memory crashes into me head-on, and I gasp.

"What is it?" he asks, worry changing his face once again. A shiver runs down my spine making me quiver. "Talk to me, Tris."

"I'm sorry. It's just that ... that's what Peter did to me." He stiffens in his seat.

"No, that was rape," he softly says.

"For me it was but for him it was..." I let the sentence trail off. I just can't bring myself to say it again. Then the truth dawns on me. I'm so dense. "He lied. He only wanted to hurt me. He never loved me." I don't know why this makes a difference but it does. I could never equate someone telling me that they loved me then treating me the way he did. I know I didn't reciprocate his feelings, but did that give him the right to want to punish me?

"Did you believe him?" he asks. The lack of emotion in his voice worries me but when I look up into his eyes, the love and concern he's feeling for me is almost overwhelming.

"I thought I did but now I'm not so sure," I say. "It doesn't matter but I don't know why I never _really_ saw it. He didn't love me." I'm quiet for a while before I glance up at him. He's staring out the windshield. "Thank you for letting me talk about it with you. I know this hurts you."

"I'll be honest, it isn't the easiest subject for me but if you need to talk about it, I'm here for you," he says. "You know that. I love you, my beautiful, strong, loving wife but please try not to dwell on what he did and said. He's gone. He can't hurt you anymore."

"I love you too, baby," I say peeking up at him through lowered lashes. I expect him to laugh but instead his eyes dilate, and my mouth falls open, and I drag in a ragged breath. What is up with us today? We can't get enough of each other. If he keeps looking at me like that, I'm going to take him right here in the car in the underground garage at the hospital. That's not a bad idea. I might need to add that to my list.

"Do you like calling me baby?" he roughly says, pulling me from my reverie, desire thick in his voice once more. I think about his question as we pull into the garage. He turns off the car, releases first his and then my seat belt, and turns the full force of his smoldering eyes on mine. I melt into the seat and blurt out the truth.

"Yeah, I do," I say breathlessly. "I like it when you laugh. You don't laugh enough." He moves closer to me, running both hands through my hair, his pink lips hovering inches from mine, staring hungrily into my eyes. I involuntarily dart my tongue out to moisten my dry lips, and we sigh into each other's already open mouths.

"I would be honored to have you call me baby then, my love," he says right before his lips are once again on mine. We're all passion, tongues, hands, lust, lips, and heavy breathing.

"Oh my," my mother says. Tobias and I break apart, and I go red from head to toe. His hand was just up my shirt massaging my aching breast and mine was on his jeans caressing his swollen manhood. That is something I never wanted my mom to see me doing. I jump out of the car and stand before her, head bowed, not really knowing what to say. I peek up at her, and she's blushing just as violently as I am.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," I whisper, nervously straightening my already smooth shirt.

"Do I need to remind you two that you are in public?" my mom curtly says. "This is not the time or place for that kind of behavior, Beatrice." Uh-oh!

"Mrs. Prior, we're very sorry," Tobias says sounding more like Four, coming to stand next to me after he rolls the windows up and secures the car. Wow! He hasn't called my mom _Mrs_. Prior for months. I glance at the bulge in his jeans but he's no longer aroused. Getting caught by your mother-in-law apparently can do that. "You're absolutely right. We were behaving very inappropriately. Will you please forgive us?"

"I know you two are young and very much in love but some behavior is not to be displayed in public," she says matter-of-factly. "Beatrice Grace Prior ... uh ... Eaton, I taught you better than this. I know that you are Dauntless now but that shouldn't take away your good manners." She sighs dramatically then her eyes soften. "Oh, and, Four, you know you can call me Natalie or if you would like, dear, Mom." This is an interesting turn of events. First she's scolding us for public displays of affection ... Oh, who am I kidding? We were on our way to having sex ... then she's asking my husband to call her Mom. I look at Tobias, and he's been rendered speechless.

"I think you broke my husband," I say and finally the tension breaks, and we all laugh.

"I'll take your offer into consideration, Natalie," Tobias finally says. "And Tris and I will do a better job of curbing our ... appetite when we're in public. Thank you for the reminder. We never want to make anyone uncomfortable, especially you."

"Very well said," I say smiling up at him. I have to tear my eyes away from him before the familiar desire starts flowing back and forth between us.

"Apology accepted," she says. "I was worried. Where have you been?" There's something in her eyes that tells me she knows we went home and made love, and I blush an even deeper shade of red. Will my complexion ever return to normal?

"Marcus was here," I finally say, clearing my throat and trying to get past the embarrassment. Her eyes narrow. She has no love lost for Tobias' father either. She witnessed my humiliation in Dad's office. "Four didn't want to leave me alone so I went home with him. I'm sorry, Mom. I really wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to add to your worry. It's unforgivable."

"I think I can forgive you," she says. "How are my grandkids doing? They seemed pretty restless in the waiting room."

"We called our regular babysitter, and she's watching them," I say. "They're much calmer now that they're home. Although, I hope I don't have a long night with Tessa. She was pretty nervous today, eating every hour or so."

"I saw your car drive by so I thought I would come meet you."

"I'm sorry about what you saw, Natalie," he slowly says, his cheeks a pale rose. He's just as embarrassed as I am.

"No need to apologize anymore," she says. "What's done is done."

"How's Andrew?" he asks thankfully getting the subject off us.

"He's still unconscious I'm afraid, Four. He has been taken to a private room in the ICU," she says no longer looking uncomfortable. "Caleb has been moved to a private room and is awake. I'm sure he would like to see the two of you." Mom turns and walks toward the hospital entrance. Tobias takes my hand, kisses the top of my head, and pulls me after her.

"That was embarrassing," he whispers in my ear as we wait for the elevator. I look up at him, nodding in silent agreement. The three of us ride to the seventh floor where Caleb's room is in relative silence, the electricity once again zinging between Tobias and me. I hope my mom can't feel the unbridled sexual tension but I'm afraid she does, causing me that much more embarrassment. We exit the elevator and I take a much-needed deep calming breath. Tobias and I once again follow Mom toward Caleb's room.

"We'll have to visit Will, Christina, and Liam while we're here," I say as we exit the elevator.

"That sounds like a nice diversion," Tobias says. "I'd like to hold him this time."

"He's such a beauty," I say. "Who did you think he looked like?"

"I think he looks like Will but with Christina's coloring," he says. "He's a gorgeous baby."

"We should start thinking about baby names," I say smiling up at him. The memory of picking out Tessa's name while we were on our honeymoon replays in my mind. "Maybe we should go back to Amity and the pond for some inspiration."

"Oh, Beatrice Grace Eaton," he roughly says. "I haven't forgotten that I still owe you a couple nights at the lighthouse. A side trip to the pond would be wonderful." His voice is tickling me in places it's never touched before.

Mom opens the door to Caleb's private room, and we all enter. He's reclined in an uncomfortable-looking single hospital bed. His appearance is very unsettling. The wide bandage over his left shoulder is stained with blood. His complexion is ashen. His normally lively pale green eyes are glassy, dazed, and faraway. Cara is sitting on a small gray leather chair next to his bed and standing beside her is a woman I've never seen before.

"Oh, Caleb." I fight the tears trying to gather in my eyes. I walk to the other side of his bed, and he turns his head to look at me.

"Hey, sis," he says slurring slightly from the pain medication. "I hear that you saved me." I stand a little straighter. Did I save him? Surely it was the surgeons who did that.

"I just did what you would have done," I say brushing his hair out of his eyes. "I'm so sorry. I have a nagging feeling that this is all my fault." Everyone seems to answer at once.

"No, no, no," Mom says putting her arms around me.

"This is _not_ your fault," Tobias says sternly.

"Beatrice, it's not your fault I was shot," Caleb says. "I pushed Dad out of the way. _That_ is how I got shot. That madman took a shot at you but Four knocked you down then he turned the gun and fired directly at Dad. It's no wonder I got hit. How is your baby? Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine," I say rubbing my belly, "and so is our daughter."

"Daughter?" Mom and Caleb say at the same time. I furrow my brows. Have I not told them Peanut's a girl? I'm terrible.

"Yes, Tyler and Tessa are going to have a little sister," I say. "I was examined while you were in the emergency room. Isobel told me everything was fine. Apparently she's well-padded in here."

"That's true," the tall blonde woman with Will's eyes says. She obviously is his mother but I've never met her before.

"I'm sorry," Cara says. She looks up over her shoulder apologetically at her mother. "This is my mother, Dara Drake. Mom this is Caleb's mother, Natalie, his sister, Tris, and his brother-in-law, Four."

"Four," she scoffs. I want to say something but I don't want to make my mother any more uncomfortable than I have today so I decide to let it go.

"Four's a nickname, Mom," Cara says in an admonishing tone. I'm liking her more and more these days.

"Congratulations on your grandson, Mrs. Drake," I politely say. Funny, I have the same strong desire to punch her in the smug-looking face like I always did with Cara. I try to shake it off. "Will and Christina are two of my very best friends. Little Liam sure is a beauty, isn't he?" Her expression softens at the mention of her newborn grandson, and she smiles warmly at us.

"It's nice to meet all of you," she says. "And thank you, Tris. William speaks of you often." William? I've only heard him called that once when Christina was upset with him.

"Has anyone heard any more about Dad?" Caleb says.

"I was just getting ready to check on him but I wanted to see you first," Mom says taking his hand in hers and patting it lovingly. "I was so worried about you, Caleb. I'm glad that you're going to be okay."

"Thanks, Mom," he shyly says. "I love you."

"I love you very much," she says bending over and sweetly placing a kiss on his forehead.

"You need rest," Tobias says. "Tris and I will go with your mother but we'll make sure you're sent word on how your father is doing. Cara it was nice seeing you again. Mrs. Drake it was nice meeting you. We'll be in later to see Will, Christina, and Liam so we might run into you again."

"Mom's getting ready to head home, and I'm staying with Caleb," Cara says. I look at her and finally see that she's an absolute mess. She's pale, her eyes are rimmed in red, her makeup is smudged, and she looks like she's in more pain that Caleb. She probably is. I walk around the bed and give her a big hug. She clings to me, not saying a word. When I release her she has tears in her eyes once again.

"Thank you for taking care of him for me," she whispers. "I couldn't have stood to lose him. He's everything to me." She feels for him the way I do for Tobias. I hug her tightly again taking her by surprise.

"I'm glad he's going to be okay, too," I say when I let her go. "If you need anything, and I mean anything, please don't hesitate to let me know." I lean over Caleb and kiss his cheek. "I'm glad you're okay. I was so scared." Tears threaten to spill but I hold them back. I run my hand down his face. "My silly, annoying, impossibly aggravating big brother."

"I love you, too, Beatrice," he says with a chuckle and then he winces from the pain.

"I truly do love you, Caleb," I say.

"Get well soon, Caleb," Tobias says lightly placing his hand on Caleb's right shoulder. "Cara." He hugs her too.

"Just so everyone knows, we'll postpone lunch on Sunday until everyone is feeling better," Mom says. "I'm going to check on your father. I'll be back later if that's okay."

"Of course, Mom," Caleb says at the same time Cara says, "Of course, you can come back, Mrs. Prior." I hear a nearly silent sigh from my mom.

"Cara dear, please call me Natalie," she says. Cara flushes. I'm sure she's heard this more than once like Tobias has. I look up at him, and he's staring at me with love in his eyes. I give him a bright smile, and he mouths I love you making me smile even brighter.

"Oh, Four, do we know anything about the shooter?" Cara asks.

"I'm afraid all we know so far is his name," he says. "One of our leaders is looking into his background and associates. I haven't had a chance to do much investigating since I've been with Tris today. We'll keep you all posted."

"Thanks," she says. We say goodbye again then head out into the hallway. Tobias takes my hand in his and mom eyes our joined hands.

"We can hold hands, Mom," I say. "We'll be respectful." Sheesh! She blushes slightly.

"If you will follow me, I'll take you to your father's room," Mom says. Tobias and I walk behind her trying not to make her uncomfortable but when we get to the elevator I sigh. This is going to be so hard. When the doors open Mom steps into the confined space, and we join her. I release his hand, and we stand on either side of her. The strange current that runs between us is still evident but it's easier to resist when we aren't in each other's arms. When the doors slide open, we exit out onto the third floor. Tobias and I both audibly release a breath, and I see mom shake her head.

"Four, can I speak to Beatrice for a moment," she says. My heart falls.

"Of course, Natalie," he says. "I'll go to the ICU waiting room and leave you two alone." He leans over and kisses my temple with an apologetic look in his eyes.

"Am I in trouble again?" I ask after he's gone like I'm 7 instead of 17.

"No, my sweet girl," she says taking me by surprise. "Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" I slowly ask.

"I've been in your company many times and you two have never acted this way," she shyly says. "The elevator. I could feel the sexual tension. Are you sure you two are okay?"

"Oh, this is embarrassing," I sigh.

"You can talk to me, Beatrice," she says. "I would like it if you talk to me."

"It's the shooting, Mom," I say, not quite able to make myself meet her probing eyes. "I don't know how to explain it. Dr. Parrish once told me that Four and I turn to each other in times of great stress. I just want to be in his arms. I want him to let me know that everything is going to be okay." Tears well up in my eyes. "I need him, Mom." She drags me into her arms holding me tight.

"I'm sorry I've made this time more difficult for you," she says.

"Don't apologize," I say. "We didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. What I feel for him is so hard to hide sometimes."

"Do you feel like this most the time?" she asks, taking me by surprise once again. I open my mouth then shut it again.

" _All_ the time," I finally say. Her eyes widen then she runs her hand down my cheek.

"Maybe you two should go home," she softly says. "After what I saw in the car, it seems like you need some alone time."

"I'm mortified you saw that," I whisper.

"I have a secret ... I am, too," she says with a chuckle, which makes me laugh. "If you ever want the kids to stay overnight with me and your father so you and Four can go out, just let me know. We'd be more than happy to have them."

"Wow," I say. "That is so kind of you. Thank you. I might take you up on that offer once Dad is home and he's better."

"We better go find your husband," she says, her warm smile back in place. We walk down the hallway to the ICU waiting room, which is full. Tobias is pacing nervously against one wall. Anyone looking at him would think that he's anxious about a patient but that's not the case. He's worried about what Mom wanted to talk to me about. When he sees us he stops pacing and comes directly to me. He furrows his brows at me but I smile. He calms considerably.

"Let's check on Dad, see Liam, then go home," I say.

"Okay. Are you sure everything's okay?" he asks.

"We'll talk about it on the way home," I say. We follow Mom down a bright white hallway. It's so intense that I squint my eyes. We enter Dad's large private room. I realize that it's the same room he occupied in February, and my heart leaps into my throat. He's lying in bed so still. He's still unconscious. "Have the doctors said what's wrong with him? Why won't he wake up?"

"He has a hairline skull fracture in the back of his head. It's almost in the exact same spot his previous fracture was. He has no swelling or bleeding in the brain, which is promising. Dr. Wilson seems stumped as to why he's not waking up though."

I slowly walk across the spacious room and pick up my Dad's hand, holding it tightly between my trembling fingers. He honestly looks like he's just asleep. Thankfully his color is good. Maybe he's just not ready to wake up and face what happened today at the meeting. He lost some good friends today. I lean down, and tenderly kiss his cheek then go to Tobias. He wraps me in his loving embrace, holding me securely to him. He whispers words of love in my ear, telling me that Dad's going to be okay. I manage not to breakdown but it's hard. He lets me go and places his lips to my forehead.

"I love you," he says, just above a whisper. "Let's go see the baby. Maybe that will help you. Then we can go home." He looks at his watch. "I thought we'd get home before the kids were asleep but I don't think we will."

"We're going to go see Will and Christina," I say to Mom. She drags me into her embrace and I cling to her.

"He's going to be okay," she says. "I'm confident of that. He's strong. Just like you are. Now, go. See your friends then go home."

"Let me know if there are any changes. Thanks, Mom," I say. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Natalie," Tobias says. He takes my hand, and we head out the door, take a right, and head for the elevators. While we wait for the car, I lean my head against his shoulder, not letting his hand go. "What did your mom say? Is she angry with us?"

"She asked if we were okay," I say. "I told her we are more than okay it's just the ... stress." The elevator doors open and we move out of the way to let two older couples with red-rimmed eyes off. We enter the car, and he presses the button for the fifth floor. Once again the electricity is there. "Oh, Tobias." I look up at him, and his lips land on mine at once in an aggressive, need-filled kiss. I keep my hands locked around his neck. If I don't, I'll be tempted to unbutton his jeans. I'm so needy right now. I can't wait to get home. The car comes to a stop and the doors open, and he lets me go. A young man is standing on the other side and his eyes widen drastically then he smirks. We don't say anything, we just exit the elevator hand-in-hand and make our way to Christina's suite. I knock and peek my head in. Christina's eyes light up when she sees it's me.

"Are you alright?" she asks. "I've been worried sick since Will told me what happened today in Abnegation. How is Caleb and your dad?"

"I'm fine. The baby is fine," I say. "Tobias knocked me out of the way or I wouldn't be okay. Caleb was shot knocking Dad out of the way. He's going to make a full recovery. Dad's still unconscious. The doctors aren't sure why. He injured his head the exact same place he did in February. I'm worried about him."

"I'm sorry," she says.

"Where's Liam?" I ask.

"They're bringing him to me to feed," she says. "Will's with the nurse. He's a nervous dad. He doesn't want to leave the little fellow for two minutes."

"We won't stay long," Tobias says when she said that she has to feed him.

"You two can stay as long as you want," she says.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

"Sore, happy, dazed, grateful, tired," she says. "I'm experiencing so much at once that it's quite overwhelming. I keep crying and that worries Will."

"I think we're going to go," I say.

"I don't want you to go," she says, a little whiny which is _very_ out of character for my best friend.

"It's been a long, terrible day," I say. "I just want to go home and wrap my arms around my kids. Do you know when you'll get out of here?"

"Tomorrow," she says. "Although I don't know what time. They've mentioned both lunch and supper time so it's hard to tell."

"I'll be back tomorrow to check on Dad and Caleb," I say. "I'll see if you're still here, and we can visit then."

"You look tired," she says.

"Just a bit overwhelmed myself," I say. I hug her and give her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm glad you're doing well. I can't wait to just sit and talk to you."

"Me neither," she says. "See you later, Four."

"Bye, Christina," he says.

We leave before seeing the baby but that's okay. They live across the hall from us. We'll see them all the time. We head for home hoping to see the kids before they are both in bed but I don't think we're going to make it unless Avery has had trouble putting Tyler down. Tessa is another story though. I wouldn't be surprised to find her wide awake. Tobias drops me off in front of the Pire noticing how tired I look, and I can't help but thank him. I'm exhausted all of a sudden. I head into the building just as Harrison comes out of his office.

"Tris," he says. "Where's Four?"

"Parking the car," I say. "Why? Is everything okay? What have you learned about what's his name ... Wesley?"

"Wesley Harkin," he says nodding. "I'd like to wait on Four so I don't have to go over it twice."

"I understand. Why don't you come up to our apartment," I say.

"Sure," he says. He follows me upstairs. I let myself into my apartment and Avery is sitting on the couch with Tyler in her lap. This really doesn't surprise me until I see his face. He jumps down and runs to me.

"Hey," I say holding on to him tightly, rocking him back and forth. "What's wrong?" He's crying nearly inconsolably. I look at Avery. She has an anxious look on her face and she shrugs.

"I really don't know what's wrong," she says. "He's been whiny and clingy all evening. The later it's gotten the worse he's been. He wouldn't go to bed."

"It's okay," I say. "Today's been rough on us all. Tyler, baby, it's okay. Mommy's here. Harrison, you can sit down. Is there anything I can get for you?"

"You know, I think I'll go over this with Four in the morning but I'll leave the file with you," he says looking slightly uncomfortable because of the toddler in my arms having a meltdown.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"It's nothing that can't wait until morning," he says.

"Okay," I say. "I'll tell Four that you need to see him first thing and have him text you."

"Thanks, Tris," he says before quickly leaving the apartment.

"When did Tessa eat?" I ask still holding onto Tyler trying to calm him.

"An hour ago," she says. "If you don't mind I'm going to take off."

"It's okay, Avery," I say. "I'll put some points in your account. Thanks for watching them. Sorry it's been a rough night."

"Bye, Tyler. I hope you get to feeling better," she says then she too makes a beeline to the door. Poor Tyler, he sure knows how to clear a room.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" I ask him. He shakes his head no. I sit us down on the couch and hold him closely. He's still in the clothes I dressed him in this morning. I tickle lightly up and down his back, and he finally stops crying. "Do you want to lie down with Mommy?" He looks up with tear-stained lashes and shakes his head. "You just want to cuddle?" He nods. "Okay." I kiss his head and rock us slowly side to side. I gaze down into his tired eyes and lightly run my fingers down his face trying to get his eyelids to shut. I shush Tobias as he comes in the door hoping that I can get our son to sleep. He comes and sits down next to us and Tyler turns his head and looks at him.

"Hi, Daddy," he says.

"Hi, buddy," Tobias says.

"Harrison wants a meeting first thing," I quietly tell him. He drags his phone out of his pocket and texts him a time. "You don't have to go to the hospital with me. I can drop them off at daycare for a couple hours. Plus don't you have a meeting with Nicole's father tomorrow?"

"Yeah," he quietly says. I look down and Tyler's finally closed his eyes. "He wouldn't go to bed?"

"No, he wouldn't," I say. "I imagine he was scared we wouldn't come back. We probably shouldn't have went back to the hospital."

"Why don't we take them upstairs and go to bed," he says. His expression is guarded. I don't know if he wants to sleep or if he wants something more. I'm not sure what I want at the moment either. The stress of hearing Tyler crying uncontrollably hurt my heart and put me out of the mood.

"Okay," I say. I manage to get us up off the couch then take Tyler upstairs to his room. I change him out of his clothes and put him in his green dinosaur PJs and tuck him in then head across the hall to Tessa's room. Tobias is putting her in a pink ballerina sleeper. I come up behind them and put my hand on his back and look at our daughter.

"Here's your Mommy," he says. "Are you wanting to eat?" He picks her up and hands her to me. I hold her close and she starts rooting. It's going to be a long night. "Yep, you want to eat. I'll meet you in bed. Don't be long." Oh. Maybe he does want to make love again.

"As soon as she's done, I'm all yours," I say. His lights up with a brilliant smile and I swoon. He gives me a tender, loving kiss then turns and leaves me with our daughter. She nurses for about 10 minutes before she falls asleep. I kiss her chubby little cheek then put her in her crib. She looks so peaceful right now. Hopefully she's not up in another hour. I slide my hand over her dark hair, which is starting to curl a little at the ends then go to the bathroom. I brush my teeth and comb my hair then notice the t-shirt Tobias was wearing earlier lying across the hamper. I shrug out of my clothes and slide into it. It smells like him. I haven't worn a shirt of his for a while. It feels safe. I pad into our bedroom and slide into bed. I cuddle up against him, putting my left leg over his. He wraps his arms around me and starts gently running his right hand through my hair.

"I have to get up early in the morning," he says. "I want nothing more than to make love to you right now but I think I'll settle for just holding you if that's alright."

"Of course, it is," I say. "All I need is to lie in your arms. I love you, Tobias. Thank you for saving me today. Thank you for getting Dad and Caleb to the hospital. I appreciate it so much. You're the best man I know." Tears wet my eyes and slide unrestrictedly down and onto his chest.

"Don't cry, love," he says tightening his hold on me. "I know it's been a rough day. Go to sleep. I'll be here in the morning." I feel his lips in my hair. "I'm glad I was there today to protect you. I love you so much. It would have killed me if anything had happened to you or Peanut." I snuggle as close as I can to him, my belly in the way, and feel myself start to drift peacefully into sleep.


	80. Chapter 80

The sound of crying pulls me out of my restless slumber, and I automatically get up. I feel like I'm sleepwalking. I don't know why but I first go to Tyler's room but he's sleeping peacefully right where I tucked him in. He must have passed out from sheer exhaustion, my poor boy. I lightly kiss his head before I trudge across the hall to Tessa's room, where I find her lying in the middle of the crib crying loudly.

"Hey, little one," I say picking her up. "Are you hungry again?" I absentmindedly wonder what time it is. "Did Mommy not hear you? I'm so sorry." I put her to my breast, and she latches onto my nipple and suckles greedily. I rock slowly thinking about what happened yesterday. I can't believe someone would do something so evil. I can't stop my mind from thinking this has something to do with me and Tobias. The gunman was aiming at me and then my dad. But what does this have to do with Dad? If I'm not mistaken we finally have one of the men who nearly killed him in custody. How does he fit into all this? Is this payback for something he did or some perceived indiscretion on my part? We have to find Maria. That's all there is to it. She is the key to this entire mess, I just know it but I don't have a clue as to why. When Tessa finally finishes, I swear she just ate the most she ever has, I put her back in her crib and kiss her little head. I hear something downstairs, and my heart leaps into my throat. I slowly descend the dark stairway and find Tobias sitting on the couch, bathed only in the light of the full moon shining through the wall of windows.

"What are you doing?" I ask. I hadn't even noticed he wasn't in bed when I went into Tyler's room.

"I couldn't sleep," he says. "I just got done looking over the information Harrison compiled about the shooter." I sit down on the couch next to him. "Go back to bed, Tris. You need your rest."

"So do you, Tobias," I say leaning up against him. He sighs and wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. "Tell me about the shooter."

"Wesley Harkin, 24 years old. Dauntless born and bred. Number one in his initiate class, although his file doesn't suggest that he's Divergent. His parents and two younger sisters still live here also. He works in the control room, which is a connection to Maria. He's friends with Dr. Tracy Young, who was in his initiate class. The infirmary is a connection to Nicole's sister, Stella, although for the life of me I can't figure out who she is. I should just text Zander and ask who she is but we've been so busy that I just haven't thought about it." He lets out a long drawn out sigh. "I almost lost you today. As much as I wanted to kill Cameron and Peter for what they put you through, this bastard pulled a gun out and aimed it at you and fired. I've never wanted to hurt someone as much as I wanted to hurt him in that moment. It took everything I had to only put handcuffs on him." The inexplicable need from earlier resurfaces, and I look up into his face.

"Make love to me, Tobias," I say, almost groveling. "I need you. _Please_. I need you to make me feel whole." He helps me to my feet and sweeps me up in his strong arms. He kisses me all the way up the stairway and into our bedroom. He lays me down in the middle of our big bed and proceeds to kiss me over every inch of my quivering body before making sweet, slow love to me.

I'm lying on my back, cater-corner in bed, with his body draped familiarly around mine, basking in the afterglow of our lovemaking. His head is resting just beneath my bare breasts, and he's murmuring softly to my tummy.

"This is your father, Peanut," he says. "I love you so much. Daddy didn't mean to knock Mommy down today. That must have been quite jarring for you but Isobel tells us you're well protected in there." He puts his hand on my belly and caresses it softly. "You will be well protected after you come into this world also. Your mother and I love you so much. I can't wait to meet you my precious girl." He places both hands on my swollen abdomen and leans up to kiss it softly bringing a tear to my eye. He gets up and lies down beside me, pulling me into his warm embrace so that I'm cuddled up against him, still naked.

"We forgot to lock the door," I mumble, nearing sleep. "And we need to get dressed." He moves once again and pulls our soft, warm quilt around us then returns to his previous position.

"No. I want to feel your body against mine right now, love. I need that. We'll deal with Tyler if he comes in, okay?"

"M-kay," I say, totally sated, drifting off into sleep wrapped up in his strong, loving arms.

When I drag my heavy eyelids open, the bedroom is fully lit, and I'm lying naked beneath the heavy quilt, alone. I groan and raise my foggy head and look around the room but it's empty. I glance at the clock, and it's nearly 8 a.m. Holy shit! I jump out of bed and hurriedly put on a pair of sleep pants and a camisole. How in the world have I only fed Tessa once in the night? I rush to her room but she isn't there. I go across the hallway but Tyler's room is deserted too. I head down the stairs to the quiet living room but find nothing. Panic starts to creep through my veins, and I grab my phone just as the door opens. When Tobias sees me, a sheepish look transforms his face.

"I thought I'd be back before you woke up. I'm sorry. I hope I didn't worry you," he says. "Breakfast is served." He holds up a small tray of muffins and fruit salad coated with yogurt.

"You could have left a note," I say.

"I know," he says. "I'm sorry. I honestly thought you'd still be in bed."

"Where are the kids?" I ask, my voice like ice.

"Don't be mad, Tris," he says. "I took them to Zander and Stella's. They volunteered to watch them today. Tyler was so happy when he saw Zane. I didn't mean to worry you." He sets the tray down and pulls me into his arms.

"Please don't do that to me again," I say. "With everything that's been going on lately, I was freaked out when you all weren't here when I woke up. You know I only fed Tessa once in the night. What did you do, give her bottles?"

"Bottle," he says holding one finger up to me.

"She only ate one other time?" I ask amazed. "She did eat a lot before I found you in the living room." The memories of his hands and lips worshiping me last night come back, and a silly grin nearly splits my face in two.

"What's that look for?" he says with a chuckle.

"I was thinking of you, baby," I say and he really laughs. "I love that sound. Now are you going to feed me? I really worked up an appetite in the middle of the night."

"Your wish is my command," he says with a dramatic bow, which makes me giggle.

"I love you, Mr. Eaton," I say going up on my tiptoes and kissing his cheek.

"I love you, Mrs. Eaton," he says. "Sit. I'll make us some coffee." I sit on the barstool, and he walks around the island and starts a fresh pot of coffee. He obviously has been up for hours. I have to thank him for letting me sleep. I feel refreshed. "I don't want you going to the hospital alone. I'll go with you. I would like to check on everyone who was hurt. There's been no word from your mom. I hope you don't mind but I checked your phone. Christina texted though, and she's being released right after breakfast this morning so we won't be able to see her and the baby until later. She says to come over whenever we want. Before we go to the hospital we have a meeting with Mr. Pearson in my office to discuss Nicole and see if he has any insight into why Maria is doing what she's doing." He pours me a steaming cup of coffee and slides it across the island to me. "Do you want your muffin warmed up with some butter on it?"

"Ooh! That sounds wonderful," I say taking a refreshing sip of the scalding liquid.

"I used to do this all the time when I first came to Dauntless," he says popping two muffins in the microwave. "It was like a treat. Of course, you know that. All the food here is like an indulgence."

"That it is," I say with a wink. "You know I only left Abnegation because of the food." I can't help myself, and I start giggling almost uncontrollably. He laughs with me.

"You seem so at ease this morning, Tris," he says. "I love hearing your laugh. It makes me happy." He hands me a warmed plate with a hot butter-soaked blueberry muffin and sits down beside me.

"I wasn't this at ease when I didn't know where everyone was," I say looking pointedly at him. He actually blushes.

"Are we going to fight about this?" he says with a sigh. "I said I was sorry. It won't happen again."

"Okay, I'll forgive you this one time," I say leaning over and kissing him softly. "I love you."

"Thanks," he says looking relieved. "I love you, too." After I finish the tasty breakfast Tobias so kindly got for me, I shower and get dressed.

"How was Tyler this morning?" I ask when we're sitting in his office patiently waiting for Mr. Pearson. "He was so heartbreakingly sad last night."

"He seemed fine," he says. "He was bright eyed. He asked where you were, which doesn't surprise me. You have him wrapped around your little finger." I blush.

"I think it's the other way around," I say. "I would do anything for him and his sister ... for you." Once again I think of our lovemaking in the middle of the night. I get up and ease myself down onto his lap, surprising him.

"Um, we're going to have a meeting any minute," he says automatically wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"I know," I say, caressing his cheek. I pull his mouth to mine and give him a tender kiss. I back away sooner than I really want though, not wanting to fan the flames of desire. "Thank you for making love to me in the middle of the night. You always know what I need. And the way you were talking to Peanut when we finished, you made tears come to my eyes. You're a wonderful father."

"And you are a wonderful mother," he says. A knock on the door makes me leap from his lap. I quickly cross the room and open it.

"Mr. Pearson, please come in," I say.

"Please, Tris, call me Roger," he says startling me. I have to remind myself that every member of Dauntless knows my name. He looks tired from his 24-hour shift at the fence.

"Roger, please have a seat," I say. He follows me across Tobias' office and sits down in the chair I offer him. I glance at the picture of Nicole that's sitting on the corner of Tobias' desk and see the noticeable resemblance when I gaze back at Roger. They have the same red hair and wide green eyes set in an oval face. There's no mistaking the fact that they are related. "Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"That would be nice," he says, just managing to stifle a yawn. I go to the small pot that sits on a credenza along the wall and pour him a coffee.

"Cream or sugar?" I ask.

"Black." I hand him the coffee then sit down in the chair beside him. "What can I do for you?"

"Roger, we asked you here today to talk about Maria Burke," Tobias says. There is obvious shock on Roger's face. It seems to perk him up.

"I haven't thought about Maria for a while," he sadly says. "What's this about?"

"Have you heard about the men who have been drugged in the compound and money stolen from their account?" Tobias asks.

"No," he says looking genuinely shocked. "I'm afraid I haven't."

"Well since the end of initiation last year, Maria has been targeting men in the bar and the nightclub. She distracts the men, gives them a drug that erases their memories, clones their phone, and steals money from their account," he says. "Myself and Will are two of her numerous victims." Roger's mouth drops open. I'm surprised this hasn't gotten more attention in the compound. Maybe the men are too embarrassed to talk about it with others.

"We're looking for her," I say. "We know that she was best friends with your daughter, Nicole. Do you have any idea how we can find her?" Tears well up in his eyes at the mention of his deceased daughter.

"Maria and Nicki were inseparable growing up. They loved to explore and did it often," he softly says. Nicki? Maria did take her dead friend's name. "They always talked about the places they found but they never mentioned one place in particular. If she's hiding out, it could literally be anywhere in the city."

"Are you aware that I was kidnapped earlier this summer?" I ask.

"Yes," he says hesitantly.

"My kidnapper was working with Maria. To what extent we're not sure," I say. "I was introduced to her but not as Maria. She was introduced to me as Nicki." His eyes widen drastically and he pales. "Do you have any idea why she would take Nicole's name?"

"I have no idea," he says, slowly shaking his head.

"What about Stella?" Tobias says. "Does she know Maria?"

"Erin?" he asks looking overwhelmed. "Yes, of course, she knows Maria."

"Erin?" Tobias and I say at the same time.

"Yes," he says. "Both my girls use their middle names. They never liked Audrey and Stella." He shrugs his shoulders, noncommittally. Another piece of the puzzle slips into place. Stella _Erin_ Pearson. Erin, the nasally-voiced infirmary intake nurse who obviously does not like me or Tobias. She has to be in on this.

"I hate to ask you this question. I don't want to add to your grief but do you know why Nicole killed herself?" I softly say. His mouth falls open as I ask the question. Maybe it isn't fair of me but I imagine her death also has something to do with Maria's actions.

"No," he says. "One day she was happy, talkative ... her normal self, and the next … she jumped into the chasm. I have absolutely no idea why. I wish I did." His voice cracks breaking my heart. No parent should have to lose a child, especially to suicide.

"And Erin?" Tobias says.

"No, she has no idea either," he says. "If she did, she'd tell me." I idly wonder if this is true.

"Do you know Wesley Harkin?" I ask. He furrows his brows.

"That name sounds familiar," he says. I'm about to say that he probably heard he was yesterday's Abnegation shooter when he adds, "I think he's a friend of Erin's fiancé."

"Who is Erin's fiancé?" I ask.

"Dr. Tracy Young," he says. My eyes move to Tobias', and I can see that he's thinking exactly what I am. All our puzzle pieces are now in place, and we know who the players are after all these months. But the bigger question is what in the hell do Maria, Erin, Dr. Young, and Wesley Harkin have to do with _us_ and my father?

"You have helped us tremendously, Roger. That's all the questions we have for you today. If something else arises, we'll contact you again," Tobias say. "We are truly sorry for your loss. It wasn't our intention to reopen old wounds." He gets up from behind his desk and shakes Roger's hand then escorts him to the door then he goes to the filing cabinets and pulls Dr. Young's file and puts it with Maria, Nicole, Erin, and Wesley's.

"Did you not notice that Nicole's sister's middle name was Erin?" I ask.

"Will was the one who went through the files," he says. "Who would have thought that they _both_ went by their middle names?"

"Do we actually know anything more than we did before?" I ask. "Maria has been drugging men in the bar and nightclub and stealing money for months. Why? What's the money for? She helped Peter with his plan to kidnap me but was introduced to me using her dead best friend's nickname. The best friend who you had one failed date with what _two_ years ago?"

"Closer to three than two," he says.

" _Three_ years ago," I say and sigh. "Two men nearly beat my father to death and were within earshot of Maria in the bar surveillance at the very least. Wesley is a perfect match to the shorter of the two. Do you think that Dr. Young could be the taller one? Why would he do that? Risk his career?" I put my head in my hands trying to erase the now present dull headache. "Wesley tried to kill me then turned the gun toward my father. This all has something to do with me, and I ... didn't ... _do_ ... anything."

"Come here," he says. I look up at him, and he beckons me to him with a finger. I get up and go to him, and he pulls me into his lap. I snuggle close to him, and we sit in each other's arms for a moment. When I'm this close to him my troubles seem to fade away. "We'll figure this out. I promise. I don't know what their game is, but we'll find out, and we'll put an end to it. I have a nagging feeling deep in my gut that this has more to do with me than you. Don't ask me why or to elaborate. It's just how I feel. Call it a hunch."

"Have you talked to Harrison about the shooter?" I ask after we've been quite again for a while.

"He came over early this morning, and we went over every detail in the Harkin file," he says. "There's absolutely nothing in there that gives his motive away. Perhaps Jack was right, and he should be put under truth serum sooner rather than later to get the answers we're seeking. What do you think? I could call him."

"I think we need to call Zander and ask if Erin and Dr. Young are working today," I say. "Can we take them into custody for questioning because of their close proximity to Maria and Harkin? We technically don't have any evidence just coincidence." He takes a deep breath and stares into my eyes.

"If we have no cause they can't be detained," he says. _Shit! I figured that._ I can see that he's trying to mask the worry in his eyes but he's not quite managing it. "We could talk to them but it might tip our hand. They would know that we suspect them."

"Maybe we could play dumb," I say.

"What?" he asks.

"We could go to the infirmary and ask Erin, as Nicole's sister, if she has any idea where Maria is hiding," I say. "Just that simple question. We could gauge her reaction. We also need to question Dr. Young as Wesley Harkin's best friend. See if he has any idea why Harkin did what he did. I think they would be more suspicious if we _didn't_ question them that if we did. We can tell them that Harkin will be questioned under truth serum on Monday, put surveillance on them, and watch their actions. Maybe they'll lead us to Maria."

"Not a bad plan," he says. "I should bring Harrison, Tori, Zeke, Simon, and Tony in on this." He looks at the clock on the wall and sighs.

"It's hard to be in two places at once," he says.

"I could go to the hospital alone," I say. "That was the plan to begin with."

"No," he firmly says. "Marcus could be waiting for you. I won't take that chance." A shiver runs down my spine at the mention of my father-in-law. We have no defense against him anymore, not since we found out about his divergence. Tobias is right. We're definitely safer together.

"You're right," I say. His eyes light up. "What?"

"You mean you're not going to argue about this with me?" he says, a hint of humor in his voice.

"I think you have that backwards, Mr. Eaton," I say indignantly with a smirk. "I think it is _you_ who always fight with me about things. I would never do anything that cruel."

"Cruel?" he asks, his eyebrows raised.

"Maybe cruel is too harsh of a word," I say. I move my mouth to his for a quick peck but the moment our lips meet, my blood begins to boil and we both want more. I wrap my arms forcefully around his neck and cling to him as the kiss deepens to the point of pain. He's kissing me passionately, his hands knotted in my hair keeping his mouth on mine, when a knock on the door interrupts us, and Tori and Harrison walk in. I jump out of his arms blushing deep scarlet at getting caught once again. At least we weren't feeling each other up like we were when Mom caught us yesterday. I shudder at the thought.

"Sorry," Tori says, hovering in the doorway obviously embarrassed. "We could come back later."

"No, of course not," Tobias says after he clears his throat. I move around the desk not looking at anyone and sit down on the end of the firm couch. "Sit down. We'll tell you about our meeting with Nicole's father." They sit down opposite Tobias' desk and listen intently to every word he has to say. Soon the embarrassed atmosphere turns into one of determination. We all agree that priority number one this weekend is to catch Maria, and there will be no time off until that's done. Even I am taking a temporary furlough from my maternity leave after having to beg them all.

We decide to send Tori and Harrison to interview Dr. Young and Erin in the attempt of making them think they're not actual suspects. We ask Tori to surreptitiously snap a picture of the back of Dr. Young to compare it to the security footage stills. Tobias calls Zeke, Purple-Hair, and Snake-Tattoo and have them begin covert surveillance on our suspects in hopes of them leading us to Maria. We also discuss recruiting Lauren to help but decide to wait. If it's noticed that we're looking into the computers in the server room, it might tip off Maria and drive her further underground.

"Tris and I are going to the hospital to check on Caleb and Andrew," he says. "I'm also going to check on the other victims of yesterday's shooting. We'll try to make it quick. Christina and Liam are to be released from the hospital this morning. I don't want to bother Will with this right now but if you need any assistance while we're gone, give him a call. He'll understand." Tori and Harrison leave us alone and when our eyes meet we bust out laughing.

"We're going to have to stop touching each other unless we're in the privacy of our own bedroom," I say. "Although that wasn't as mortifying as Mom catching us in the garage yesterday." He cringes.

"That was awful," he say. "Only one thing could have made it worse, for me at least, if she had been with your dad. He probably would have killed me." At the mention of my dad my face falls. I wonder if he's awake yet. I pull my phone out of my pocket and check for messages but don't find any. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be teasing about your dad right now. Let's go." We walk hand-in-hand to the garage to retrieve our car and head back toward the hospital. I for one am getting tired of this trip.


	81. Chapter 81

Tobias and I talk about everything except our troubles on the way back to the hospital to check on how my dad and Caleb are doing this morning. Honestly, I think he's distracting me from troublesome thoughts, which I'm thankful for. I tell him about Mom's offer to take the kids overnight once Dad is better to give us some alone time.

"That's very nice of her," he says as we pull into the familiar underground parking ramp at the hospital. He turns in his seat and looks at me. "With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot about the date we were talking about."

"Once we have Maria in custody, we'll talk about it again," I say, sadness bubbling up inside me. I would love nothing more than to drop everything we're doing and go on a romantic date with the man I love but we have work to do.

"That sounds like a plan," he say. "I would love to kiss you right now but maybe we should step out of the car. I'd rather not have a repeat of what happened yesterday." A giggle escapes my lips, and I blush softly then grin from ear to ear. "What's that look for?"

"This garage is on my list not to mention an elevator," I shyly say, looking up at him through my lashes. His eyes dilate, and he takes my hands in his.

"Do you think our lists are a good idea after your mom's scolding yesterday?" he asks, his cheeks a rosy pink color.

"Yes," I simply say. "We'll just have to be more careful of our surroundings but I'm not giving up our little game. It's too ... satisfying." I move to pull his mouth to mine, and he backs away making me frown.

"Nope, not happening," he says and I begin to pout. He lets out a groan, laces our fingers together on both hands, and slowly leans forward to give me an unhurried, tender kiss. When his lips touch mine, I swear I feel my blood begin to boil in my veins. I sigh into his open mouth, and he backs away. I try to get my hands free of his to pull his mouth back to mine but he has a firm grip on them, holding them in place. "We need to go, Tris." He has so much more restraint than I do.

"Okay," I murmur with a groan. He reluctantly lets my hands go, probably afraid that I'll launch myself at him but I'm determined to be good. I get out of the car and meet him near the hood. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says, tucking my hair behind my ear. He takes my hand, and we make our way into the hospital and go directly to my dad's room in the ICU. We pass the waiting room, which is disturbingly deserted compared to what it was like last night. I hope that's a good sign and not one that more people have died from their injuries. I shake off the gloomy thought, and Tobias, reading my growing tension, squeezes my hand. Just as I'm getting ready to knock on the door of Dad's room, it opens, and Mom steps out into the hallway nearly running into us.

"Oh, Beatrice, you scared me," she says as she jumps, her hand flying to cover her left breast.

"I'm sorry," I bashfully say. Her tone brings back the admonishment from yesterday. "I was just getting ready to knock. How's dad." She takes a deep breath.

"Let's go to Caleb's room," she says. "We can discuss it there."

"Did he..." I can't bring myself to finish the question. Tears well up in my eyes, and Tobias puts his arm around me, pulling me close to him. "Please tell me he's alright."

"He's very much alive," she says. "We just need to discuss some things. He's awake but combative. He's not your father at the moment. Please, let's talk about it with Caleb." I can tell that she doesn't want to have to explain his condition twice. I pull her into a hug, and she grips me tightly.

"You look tired," I say as we walk to the elevator. "Did you manage to get any rest last night?"

"I'm not sure I slept at all," she says.

"You should go home for a couple hours at the very least," I say. "Four could drive you. I could stay here with Dad and Caleb."

"Thank you for the offer but I'm not going anywhere," she says.

"Okay," I say. As worried as I am about her and Dad in this moment, I imagine her worry is tenfold. When we step onto the elevator the strange current that always runs between me and Tobias is there but thankfully is not nearly as palpable as it was yesterday. We go up to the seventh floor then Mom determinedly leads our way to Caleb's room. She knocks then we all walk in. He's sitting up in bed today thumbing through a thick book. Always the Erudite, thirsting for knowledge.

"Hey, guys," he brightly says then narrows his eyes as he takes in Mom's disheveled appearance. "What's wrong?" At least he didn't automatically jump to conclusions like I did.

"Your dad woke up in the middle of the night," she says. "He didn't know where he was. He was confused, combative. They had to sedate him. He woke up again about an hour ago, and unfortunately he's no better. I left him with the professionals. Seeing him this way is ... _overwhelming_. Dr. Wilson said that he may have to be sedated again and another MRI run. He compared the films from yesterday to his last MRI in February and doesn't see anything that is causing this behavior so he's stumped."

"This is all my fault," Caleb says running his free hand through his tousled hair.

"No, it isn't," Tobias forcefully says. "You saved his life. You mustn't think that way, Caleb. Wesley Harkin did this." Both Mom and Caleb furrow their brows at Tobias. Wow, they really look alike. Why haven't I noticed this before? I shake off the arbitrary thought and sink down into the small, uncomfortable, lumpy chair next to Caleb's bed. I reach out for his hand at the same moment he reaches for mine, both worried about our father.

"Sit down, Natalie, before you fall down," Tobias firmly says, pulling the other chair up behind my mother. She looks up over her shoulder and gives him a small smile then sits down also. He places his hand on her shoulder and squeezes lightly in a show of support. "Harkin is the name of the shooter. He obviously hails from Dauntless. He has ties to the woman Tris met when she was taken to Candor. We're hoping to catch Maria and her minions this weekend so they can be interrogated at Candor on Monday with Harkin."

"Why are they waiting to do the interview?" Caleb asks.

"Because I asked them to," Tobias says. "It's a very delicate situation, and we need some time to find Maria. She's the one who truly is behind this mess. I'm afraid that interviewing Harkin will drive her further underground along with the people who have been helping her."

"Do you know what she's after?" Mom asks.

"No," I say. "But it seems to have something to do with me and Four. We just don't know what yet. We have a plan. Just cross your fingers that it works."

"I need to check on the others who were injured yesterday," Tobias says. "Tris, do you want to come with me?"

"I think I'll stay with Mom and Caleb if you don't mind," I say. He comes to me and kisses the top of my head.

"Of course, I don't mind. I'll be back soon. Do you have your phone?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say.

"Will you please text me if you go somewhere else?" he asks.

"Of course," I say. "Be careful yourself." He smiles down at me.

"Love you," he says then briskly walks out of the room.

"I've heard some grumbling but nothing concrete," Caleb says. "So tell me, sis, how many died?"

"Six," I say. "Four didn't give me any names but I know one." I swallow the lump in my throat trying to keep the tears at bay. "Jonah." Mom gasps.

"Oh, God," Caleb says. "Dad's going to be devastated when he gets better."

"I know," I quietly say. We're quiet for a while letting the grief we're all feeling envelope us. Mom suddenly puts her face in her small hands and starts weeping. I drop Caleb's hand and jump up going to her. I put my arms around her and let her cry freely. I've never seen my mom this way, and it distresses me terribly. I move my eyes to Caleb's, and he looks worried and in pain. "Do you need some pain medication?"

"No," he says. "I'm fine."

"Zander has told me more than once that you heal faster if you're not in pain," I quietly say. Mom releases me and looks at Caleb then presses the button on his bed, calling the on duty nurse. Within five minutes a tall, dark-skinned man enters the room.

"Mr. Prior, what can I do for you?" he asks.

"My son needs some pain medication," Mom says brusquely.

"Very well, ma'am," he says turning on his heels and leaving us. He comes back almost immediately with two little paper cups, and I know one holds some water and the other contains medication. Caleb doesn't argue with Mom and takes the pills immediately.

"Thank you," Mom says. "I'm going to go check on your father. Caleb you need to get some sleep. Beatrice would you like to accompany me?"

"Yes," I say. "Caleb, I'm glad you're going to be okay. Get some rest. I love you."

"Love you, too, sis," he says. "Don't forget to text your husband with your whereabouts." He chuckles and I roll my eyes at him but I pull my phone out of my pocket and send a message to Tobias telling him Mom and I are going back to Dad's room.

"Sleep, Caleb," Mom says bending down and gently placing her lips on his forehead. "You need to get better really soon so I only have one man to worry about."

"Yes, Mom. Don't worry about me. I'm fine." His body droops a little as he yawns. I remember what the strong pain pills can do to your mind. I'm sure he's already in a fog. "Bye," he says as he sinks down into his bed and pulls the blanket up around his chin. Mom and I slowly walk to the elevator and go back to the fifth floor. I'm begrudgingly starting to feel like this place is my home away from home. Dr. Wilson is standing at the nurse's station as we walk by, and he stops us.

"I sedated Mr. Prior again, and he's being taken for a STAT MRI," he says. "You can wait in his room for his return."

"Thank you, doctor," I say. "Come on, Mom." I put my arm around her back, practically holding her up and lead her to Dad's door. I sit her down on the chair then go back out to the nurse's station. "Is there a way to get a rollaway in Dad's room so my mom can take a nap? I've tried to get her to go home but she's stubborn."

"Of course," a nurse I've never seen before says.

"Back again?" Isobel says from behind me.

"I can't stay away," I say turning to look at her. She narrows her eyes at me then sighs.

"You need to go home and rest," she says. "Are you getting plenty of water? You look dehydrated." She reaches out and touches my arm.

"I'm fine, Isobel," I say. "I'm just really worried about my dad. _And_ my mom. The doctors still don't know what's wrong with him, and they're taking him for yet another MRI. My mom won't go home so she can get some rest."

"You're stressed," she says, looking at me very disapprovingly. "Have you been going to the infirmary and having your blood pressure checked?" _Blood pressure?_ My eyes widen as the last time I was in the clinic comes back to me. Possible preeclampsia like Evelyn. "You've ignored my instructions?" She sounds disbelieving.

"I'm sorry, Isobel, but the truth is ... I forgot," I say. "I was kidnapped right after that appointment. I forgot about that. _Shit!_ "

"Sit," she sternly says. "Take a few deep breaths. Stress can elevate your blood pressure, which you know is a contributing factor to preeclampsia." She puts the blood pressure cuff around my left arm and presses a button on the machine she wheeled over in front of me. The cuff gets tighter and tighter until I think my arms going to disconnect from my shoulder and shoot across the hallway. Finally the pressure is released slowly until two numbers blink rapidly on the small boxlike machine. "It's within normal limits, barely." She walks to the computer behind the desk, logs into something, and sighs. "There was no protein in your urinalysis yesterday. This is good. There's no sign of preeclampsia but you have to do a better job of taking care of yourself."

"This is an unusual situation," I say then I think back over the past year and realize that I've been in one stressful situation after another. Maybe this is just what my life is like now.

"My suggestion is that you go home, put your feet up, and _relax_ ," she says. "Drink lots of water then take a nap."

"I'm sorry Isobel but I can't," I say as I shake my head. "We have a maniac on the loose, and we can't sleep until she's been caught." She puts her hands on her hips and sighs loudly.

"You're putting your daughter at risk," she says.

"What?" Tobias' deep voice booms from right behind me. I close my eyes and groan.

"I was just telling Tris that all this stress is not good for your baby," she says. "She also has been neglecting to go to the infirmary on Monday's to have her blood pressure checked."

"Blood pressure?" he asks confused. I sigh. I don't like being talked about like I'm not here.

"She's supposed to go to the infirmary on Monday mornings and get her blood pressure checked. Because your mother had preeclampsia, Tris is at greater risk for it also. She's not been complying with my orders." He looks down at me incredulously.

"Why in the world would you ignore the health of our baby?" he roars. Whoa. He's mad.

"I forgot," I say.

"You _forgot_?" he thunders cynically. Isobel looks my way bashfully. _Thank you, Isobel_. _Now_ you're _embarrassed by my husband's outburst. Well it_ is _all your fault_.

"Peter took me right after my last OB/GYN appointment," I say, just above a whisper. "I forgot what Isobel and I discussed there. It took me days to recollect that we're having a girl, remember? The rest of it never came back. I just forgot. I didn't do it on purpose."

"Forgot," he mutters. "I nearly go out of my mind yesterday because I knocked you down, and all this time you've _forgotten_ that you could get preeclampsia. _Unbelievable_."

"Why are you so angry?" I ask. "I don't understand, and _stop_ yelling at me. You're not helping my stress level at the moment."

"Here, follow me," Isobel says. We trudge down the hallway to a white door that blends into the wall. If you're not looking for it, you could easily miss it. "Come in here. You can talk here. It's the nurse's lounge. No one is due for a break for at least an hour." She gives me a sheepish look before turning and exiting the room.

"What has she asked you to do, Tris?" he gruffly asks, trying to rein in his anger. "Besides the blood pressure checks?"

"She wants me to go home, put my feet up, relax, drink plenty of water, and maybe take a nap," I say.

"Then that's what you're going to do," he snaps.

"No," I say. "We have to catch Maria. I can't help if I'm at home twiddling my thumbs." He takes a step toward me, and I can feel anger radiating out of his body.

"Do you want something to happen to Peanut?" he icily asks. "Tell me, what would you do if you ignored Isobel, helped catch Maria, and then you lost our daughter. How would you feel? Would you be able to live with yourself? I'm not sure _I'd_ be able to live with you." I gasp and feel tears wet my eyes.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing," I say, my voice pitifully low. I turn my back on him. I want to move past him and run far away. I haven't felt like this since the night I was introduced to his mother, when I walked out on him. He told me then that we would be finished if I ever did it again. That's the only thing keeping me in the room right now. I slowly start shaking my head back and forth. "I'll do anything for this baby. If you want me at home, barefoot and pregnant, then that's what I'll do." I hear a growl come from deep in his throat and I tense.

"Is that what I'm asking you to do?" he bellows. "This is our child. _Ours_. Does she not mean as much to you as she means to me? You're killing me right now, Tris." I spin and stare up into his face.

"You know what she means to me," I say, my voice flat, steady, deadly. "I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. If you think that low of me then maybe we have some other things to discuss." The threat is implied but I can't bring myself to say it. I can barely bring myself to think it. I couldn't leave him. I love him. He's my world. "I love you, Tobias. Missing the blood pressure checks was an _accident_. I honestly did not remember Isobel giving me the orders. That visit is all very fuzzy to me. It happened right before Marcus gave me the memory serum. I didn't just flippantly ignore her. I wouldn't do that. This baby means everything to me just like her father does.

"As for the stress, how am I supposed to relax when that _bitch_ is out there in the city and she wants to see harm come to me and my family? There is nothing that can make me relax right now except for catching her, getting her off the streets. I'm not trying to be difficult but just this morning, we, along with Tori and Harrison, decided that none of us get time off right now, not until she's found. Now you're trying to _order_ me to stay at home. Make up your mind _and_ mine, Tobias." He closes his eyes and takes several deep breaths. When he opens them, he looks like he's calmed marginally.

"If Isobel wants you to go home and rest, then you should go home and rest ... _for our daughter_ ," he says. "Not for me, not for you, not for Isobel but for _Peanut_. I know you well enough to know that if something were to happen to our baby because you were ignoring Isobel's orders that you would hate yourself for the rest of your life. Yes, catching Maria is a priority but your number one priority should be that life you're carrying." He points at my tummy. "Is that too much to ask?" I think about what he's saying, and I realize that what he's asking is the right thing to do.

"No, I guess it's not," I say. He takes two steps and stands in front of me.

"I know what you were trying to say earlier. Don't ever threaten to leave me again, Tris," he says, his voice thick with emotions that run the gamut. "You know how that affects me. I've always known that you are the one and only person who has any ability to hurt me, and you've done it twice now since I met you. Don't do it a third time. I'm not sure I'd be able to recover." I stare up into his pale face and regret washes over me but I'm still angry. I can't just forgive right now. He moves to put his hands on me, and I take two steps backward nearly tumbling down onto the small mattress that's situated behind me. If he touches me, we'll end up making love and I'm pissed.

"No," I say. "Don't touch me. You can't say horrible things to me then just expect me to throw myself into your arms. I'll go home and rest after I find out what Dad's MRI test results are. Is that okay?" My voice is still borderline hateful, and I see him cringe.

"Of course, it's okay," he says. "I'm still upset with you also. Don't think I'm not." I move past him, careful not to touch ... I know his touch would be my undoing ... and I go to talk to Isobel.

"Isobel," I say. She turns and looks at us. "I'll go home and rest once I hear Dad's test results. I thought you should know."

"Thank you, Tris," she says. I nod at her and turn and walk toward Dad's room. I open the door and peek in. Someone has brought in a rollaway and Mom is curled up asleep on it. Dad is in the hospital bed sleeping. I've been gone for a while so more than likely he's already had the MRI. I sink down into the chair next to the foot of Dad's bed and realize just how tired I am. It's no wonder that Isobel wants me to rest. I sigh. I half expect Tobias to say something but he's keeping his distance right now.

I keep my eyes on my dad, willing him to wake up and be okay. I study his form from the top of his head to his wrists when something startles me. He has grey padded cuffs around each wrist, securing him to the bed.

"Why would they do this to you?" I whisper taking his hand in mine.

"I don't think I would do that if I were you," Dr. Wilson says coming into the room.

"I wasn't going to take them off," I say.

"I meant holding his hand," he says. "He's been very violent today. I don't want him to hurt you." I drop Dad's hand and pain rips through my heart. The doctor walks over to Mom's bed and gently shakes her awake. "Mrs. Prior, can you please wake up?" She groans then stretches and sits up on the side of the rollaway's thin mattress.

"What is it, Dr. Wilson?" she asks.

"I have your husband's results right here," he says holding up a folder. "Do you want your daughter and son-in-law to leave?"

I'm about to bellow at him that I'm not going anywhere when my mother softly says, "No, they can stay. I _want_ them to stay." He pulls what looks like an x-ray film out of the envelope and slides it into the light box next to Dad's bed. This is all so familiar. He studies the illuminated series of films and makes a barely audible sigh. Oh my. What does that mean? What is he going to tell us?

"Mrs. Prior, I'm afraid your husband has a serious problem," the doctor says, turning to look at us each in turn with wide, worried eyes.


	82. Chapter 82

I gasp at the doctor's words and Tobias puts his hands on my shoulders. I automatically put my hands up to cover his, seeking comfort from the man I love. What's the doctor going to tell us? Is my father never going to be the same? Has two head injuries permanently altered him? I realize I'm holding my breath so I blow it out and drag an unsteady lungful of air into my aching chest. Tobias squeezes my hands, and I lace my fingers with his, our earlier fight forgotten. I need his strength, love, and support right now. _That's_ what's important.

"Upon reviewing his most recent scan, which was done with contrast, we've found a brain aneurysm, which is slowly leaking," he says. Brain aneurysm? Fear rips through my body unlike it ever has before. "You have two options for treatment. The first is a minimally invasive nonsurgical option called endovascular embolization. In this method a balloon is introduced into the aneurysm via the artery, cutting off all circulation causing blood clot formation, which destroys the aneurysm.

"The second option is an invasive surgical procedure known as surgical clipping. Basically an opening is made in the skull and a small clip is placed at the base of the aneurysm, detaching it from normal blood circulation. This decreases the pressure on the aneurysm, stops the leakage, and prevents it from rupturing." When he finishes, the silence in the room begins to envelope me threatening to take me somewhere I've never been before and I shiver. Tobias grips my hands tighter, almost painfully.

"How did this happen?" Mom asks, finally finding her voice. She looks very much the wreck.

"I really don't know," he says. "I've consulted with two other physicians, and we have come up with two hypotheses but we may never know exactly why this is happening."

"What are your theories?" Tobias asks.

"The first is that the aneurysm was a preexisting condition exacerbated by two recent nearly identical head injuries. The second is that it is a direct result of the head injuries. Since the aneurysm wasn't found in his previous images, I lean toward the second theory; however, we didn't do any of his other scans with contrast so, like I said, the aneurysm could have been present and the MRIs, CT scan, and x-rays previously given to Mr. Prior didn't pick it up."

"Is this why he's been acting the way he's been acting?" Mom says.

"His behavior is consistent with someone with a severe head injury and not necessarily a leaking aneurysm," Dr. Wilson says. "There is no sign of bleeding except at the aneurysm site. There is, however, a contusion in his frontal lobe, which does explain his erratic behavior. More than likely when he fell to the ground, his brain bounced off the front of his skull causing the contusion. He also has slight swelling at the contusion sight, which is being monitored carefully. It's possible that he'll have to have surgery to relieve the pressure."

"How was the swelling and contusion not found yesterday?" I ask.

"The injury presented itself today," he says matter-of-factly. "I compared this morning's images with yesterdays, and there was no indication of anything wrong on yesterday's tests. Sometimes this happens. I'm sorry that we didn't find it earlier. Here are pamphlets on each procedure. Look them over. I'm going to leave you to discuss your options. I'll be back in shortly for your decision." He turns and briskly walks through the door and disappears down the hallway. I look at Mom and tears automatically come to my eyes. She gets up off the rollaway and comes to me. I lunge myself into her arms, and we cry together for a few minutes. She finally pulls away and wipes my still flowing tears away from my cheeks with her thumbs.

"There's no more time for tears," she says, strong as ever. I nod at her and dig the backs of my fingers into my eye sockets trying to ebb their flow.

"What are you going to do?" I ask.

"I'm leaning toward the surgical procedure," she says. "If they have to cut into his skull to relieve the pressure then they might as well do both procedures that way but I don't know. The risks for each procedure are quite similar and although they are alarming, doing nothing could lead to his death, and I'm not ready to lose my husband yet." Her voice nearly breaks as she hands the pamphlets to Tobias. "I would like your opinion, Four. You're not quite as emotionally invested as we are."

"I love him, too, Natalie," he quietly says, emotion thick in his voice. I turn and wrap myself around him. He loves my dad, too. I knew he would admit that one day, I'm just sorry it's under these circumstances. He wraps one arm around my waist and the other one knots itself in my hair, holding me close. He finally lets me go and sits down in the chair I just abandoned and pulls me down onto his lap. "Let's look at these." He opens up the endovascular embolization pamphlet, and we start reading. The technical terminology numbs my brain, making my head start to throb painfully, and I gently rub my temples. I skim down to the risks, which include bleeding at the site of the needle puncture, bleeding in the brain, stroke, infection, damage to the artery, and failure to completely treat the aneurysm. It also says that symptoms can reoccur. That's not promising. "Are you done with this one?"

"Yes," I say. He opens up the one on the surgical procedure, and it's even more technical. I realize that I'm stressed big time right now and momentarily wonder what Isobel would do. I find the section marked risks and look them over. No surgery is without risk. Blah, blah, blah. General complications related to brain surgery include infection, allergic reactions to anesthesia, stroke, seizure, and swelling of the brain. _God, his brain is already swollen. Would this make it worse?_ Complications specifically related to aneurysm clipping include stroke, seizure, bleeding, and an imperfectly placed clip, which may not completely block off the aneurysm or blocks a normal artery unintentionally. Hhm. A lot of the same ones for the other procedure just like Mom said. "This isn't very helpful, is it?" I look at Mom who has sat down on the edge of the rollaway again. She looks so tired. I wonder if we could get her to go home for a little bit. Probably not. I try to put myself in her shoes. I wouldn't leave Tobias. No one could drag me away from him. She'll want to stay. I don't blame her. Dr. Wilson walks back through the door and picks up Dad's chart and makes a notation.

"Do you have any questions for me?" he asks.

"I know this is my decision but do you have a preference?" Mom asks not taking her eyes off my father. The fear and love radiating out of them is intense. I feel like I'm intruding on an intimate moment. Dr. Wilson sighs and looks at Dad over the chart.

"I would start with the noninvasive procedure," he says.

"What are the chances of the aneurysm recurring?" I ask.

"I see you've read the pamphlets. Good," he says. "I really don't like to deal with percentages and odds but I think this procedure is safer for your father right now than the brain surgery. There's a chance that the swelling near the contusion will reduce without surgical intervention so in my medical opinion adding a surgical procedure with the possible side effect of brain swelling is not in his best interest at the moment."

"Oh," Mom says. "When would this procedure be performed?"

"First thing tomorrow morning," he says. "There's only one doctor in the city who can perform this procedure, and he had a very long night with patients from the shooting. I believe you would want him well rested."

"Do I need to sign anything?" Mom asks.

"You want to go the noninvasive route then?" the doctor asks.

"Yes," she says. "And just to let you know, I will be staying here in Andrew's room with him." She doesn't give anyone any room to argue with her.

"That's perfectly fine, Mrs. Prior," he says. "There's nothing that needs your signature. We are going to keep him sedated until after his procedure then we'll slowly wake him. This is similar to the coma we induced in February but not as strong. I'll check up on him periodically throughout the day and the night. If you have any questions at all, don't hesitate to ask." He pulls some business cards out of his lab coat pocket and hands one to Mom and one to Tobias. "This is my direct line. Don't hesitate to let me know if you need something."

"Thank you," Mom says at the same time Tobias says, "Thanks." He puts the card in his back pocket.

"I'll be back to check on him later," the doctor says, turning and exiting the room again. Tobias turns and looks at me.

"I need to get you home," he says. When he sees that I'm about ready to argue he softly yet firmly adds, "There isn't anything more that you can do here. Isobel said you need to go home and rest. _You promised_."

"Okay," I say, not wanting to fight anymore. Hell, I didn't want to fight in the first place. I need to remember to question him about his reaction at some point. "Mom, please let us know if there are any changes in his condition or if you need anything."

"Are you okay, Beatrice?" she asks furrowing her brows at me. I'm afraid that if she has one more person to worry about that she'll crack.

"Yes," I say. "I'm just tired, and Isobel thought it would be a good idea for me to go home and take it easy. Don't worry about me. Why don't you lie down and take a nap. _You_ are the one who really needs some sleep." She smiles warmly at me.

"Listen to your doctor, Beatrice," she says. "You want a healthy baby don't you?" Her too? Why is everyone ganging up on me today? It's not fair.

"She's a nurse but I'm going to do what she asked," I begrudgingly say trying to keep the frustration out of my voice. I give her a hug then take Tobias' proffered hand. I'm surprised when she follows us out.

"You don't have to walk us out," Tobias says.

"I'm not, Four," she says stifling a yawn. "I'm going to go break the news to Caleb."

"We could do that for you," he says.

"No, get my daughter home," she says. She gives us each a hug then we go our separate ways. I'm in a daze, going over everything that we've learned about Dad's condition in my head, as we walk to the underground parking ramp. I don't even realize that tears are streaming down my face until Tobias unexpectedly pulls me in his arms.

"He's strong, Tris," he says, holding me while I cry. "He'll make it through this."

"You don't know that," I say, sniffling. He wipes the tears off my cheeks and kisses my forehead.

"Please don't cry, love," he says, sounding like his heart is breaking also.

"I'm not sure if I can stop right now," I say. He puts his arm around my shoulders and guides me the rest of the way to the garage. He unlocks the car and opens my door for me. I slide into the leather seat and buckle up as Tobias walks around the car, his worried eyes on me the entire time, and slips in behind the steering wheel. He carefully pulls out of the narrow space and starts home. I stare out the window, my mind thankfully blank for the moment. I watch as one tall building fades into the next trying to keep my mind off of yesterday's shooting, Maria still roaming the city, whether or not Dr. Young and Erin have given Harrison and Tori any valuable information, and most importantly, my dad. I let out a sigh and turn my head to gaze at Tobias. He's staring fixedly out the windshield, both hands firmly gripping the steering wheel, his chin set in determination. "Are you okay?"

"You're asking if _I'm_ okay?" he says sliding his eyes to mine. "I'm concerned about you and your father. Are _you_ okay?"

"I'll be fine," I say. "I'm sorry that we fought this morning. I'm sorry that I forgot something as important as getting my blood pressure regularly checked when the baby could be affected. I'm sorry I threatened you. I hate fighting with you."

"I really don't know why I got so angry," he quietly says. "You know that the thought of losing you makes me crazy and so does the thought of losing any of my kids. Preeclampsia is a very serious condition, Tris, and I had no idea you were at risk for it. It could kill you and Peanut. _Please_ take this seriously."

"I will, I am," I say.

"I know," he says. "I said some horrible things to you and for that I'm truly sorry. I know you would do anything for our baby. I also know you well enough that if the unspeakable were to happen that you would blame yourself. I wouldn't be able to stomach that. Isobel has told you to avoid as much stress as possible, and there I was yelling at you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

"Tobias, it's been one thing after another since I found out I was pregnant," I say staring out the window again. "I mean finding out I was pregnant was very stressful. Then Dad was assaulted. Peter's attack. The wedding. Your mom dying then watching you grieve. Bringing a newborn home. The custody battle. Those hours when we thought we'd lost Tyler forever. The kidnapping with your father's help. Not knowing who you were. Yesterday's shooting. Caleb being shot. Dad being hurt … again. And now to top it all off, there's all the shit with Maria and her minions. It's been one thing after another in rapid-fire succession. Sometimes I find it hard to breathe. I'm doing the best I can here. I need your support not your anger." He reaches out and gently lays his hand on my leg. I automatically take it in mine. I feel calmer, more at ease when I have physical contact with him. "Sometimes I just want to run away." I hear his sharp intake of air, and I look up at him. His Four mask is firmly in place, eliminating what he's feeling. "I didn't mean run away from you. I'd take you and the kids with me. Can you picture it? Us on the little farm with the beautiful blue pond. I would love that."

"Do you want to defect to Amity?" he asks. He sounds serious. "They would probably take us if we asked." I furrow my brows at him.

"Not really," I say. "I'm not really the happy-happy joy-joy type."

"Oh, I've seen you pretty happy, and I've see you full of joy," he says bringing my hand up to his mouth. He kisses the backs of my fingers as the car glides to a stop in front of the Pire. "Why don't you go on up. I'll be up after I park the car."

"I want to walk with you," I say.

"No," he firmly says and I start to pout. "Tris, please don't start." _Me_ start? I want to scream at him right now but I just sigh loudly as tears gather behind my eyes, get out of the car, and slam the door as hard as I can behind me making the entire car protest. I sulk off in the direction of our apartment without looking back. I step into the living room, lock the door behind me, and look around. I miss Tyler and Tessa desperately. I'd like to have them home with me but I imagine Mr. Control Freak isn't going to let them anywhere near me until I've at least had a nap so I drag the fuzzy gray throw out of the cupboard and lie down on the couch. I bring it up to my chin and close my eyes. I try to sleep but my stomach growls, distracting me. I'm hungry. I groan and throw the lightweight blanket off me and wander into the kitchen. I'm looking in the cupboards when I hear the door open and close.

"Are you hungry?" I ask trying to ignore the ache in my chest.

"Yeah," he says sounding remorseful. He walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and puts his lips on the side of my neck, kissing me tenderly. I tense at his touch. I know I should push him away because I'm still very angry with him but I don't have the strength to fight with him right now. I sigh loudly, closing my eyes.

"I'm not sure I can forgive you just yet, Tobias," I whisper. His mouth stills on my neck. "I'm really mad at you for how you spoke to me earlier. You made me feel … worthless, especially as a mother. I know that if I give into you right now we'll end up having sex and that won't solve anything." He turns me in his arms, and he surprises me by lifting me onto the island. I expect him to wrap his arms around me but he doesn't. He stands between my parted legs with each hand flat on the countertop.

"What can I say that will make you forgive me?" he quietly asks, his voice full of passion and resolve. "I was an idiot for reacting…"

"Overreacting," I interrupt. He takes a deep calming breath as he stares in my eyes. I can see the desperation to make this right.

"Yes, _overreacting_ ," he says seriously. "I heard Isobel talking about you putting Peanut in danger and I saw red, Tris. I don't fully understand my reaction." He closes his eyes and when he opens them, they are filled with regret. "This is what I know. I can't lose you. It would kill me. I know this for a fact. I've lived it more than once." I furrow my brows at him in confusion. "I've never told you this because it's my burden but my fear landscape has changed." Fear landscape? I honestly didn't know he still went through his landscape. I haven't been through mine since it helped me determine exactly what I was afraid of when thinking of adopting Tessa. The memory of that fear comes back unhindered, and I shrink away from it.

"What changed?" I ask, my voice soft, unsure.

"I'm still afraid of heights and enclosed spaces. That hasn't changed," he says hanging his head. "Then there's the fear of becoming my father, which honestly is nearly as bad as my next fear … _you dying_. It's different each time. Sometimes I watch you die in an accident. Other times you're murdered, usually by Peter's hands, and it's excruciatingly slow each time, Peter torturing us both. Other times … _I_ kill you because I get angry and abusive with you. What I haven't told you is I have a new fear." I gasp at his admission. He's not Four anymore. "My greatest fear is that you leave me and take the kids with you. You've done it several times in my fear landscape now and each time my reaction's the same. I jump into the chasm." This comes out barely above a whisper. I gasp. The idea of him hurting himself over me pricks my heart and fills my eyes with tears.

"I know it's irrational, Tris, but when Isobel told me you weren't taking care of yourself and Peanut, I flashed to my greatest fear. I thought you wanted to take yourself and Peanut away from me. Then you made that subtle threat. I could see it in your eyes. You walked out on me once and you had the _exact_ same look in your eyes then.

"I know I'm not perfect and I've made mistakes in the past on how I've handled things in our relationship, but," he stares blankly into my eyes like he's teetering on the edge of a great precipice, "please don't leave me. You and the kids are my world." I close my eyes and take a deep cleansing breath.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, pulling him into my embrace. He slowly lifts his arms and encircles my waist. "We said no secrets. God, I've made you into Five. How long has this been going on?"

"Since I found you in the hospital and you didn't know me," he says. "I thought I was going to have to tell you goodbye then. I braced myself. It nearly killed me. The new fear was there the next time I entered my landscape. Boy did it catch me off guard. I thought it was temporary but it's still there."

"I wish you would have told me about this," I say in his ear. I release him from my embrace and put my hands on either side of his face. "I'll never leave you. Not intentionally. I promise. I will never do that to you. Come here." My hungry mouth finds his, and my tongue coaxes his lips apart. I find his tongue, and they tangle violently together. Undeniable passion surges through my body, and I meld myself to him, forgetting about the anger, forgetting about the pain, forgetting about the uncertainty today has brought. We'll deal with all that later. I put my hands on his shirt and tug on it until it slides up his body and off. His eyes dilate right before mine, and his mouth crashes into mine with a need so strong it's nearly crippling. A loud knock sounds at the door, and we groan into each other's mouth.

"Son of a _bitch_ ," he mutters hatefully, breathing heavily. "Not again."

"Don't answer it," I pant, gripping him tightly with my legs, which are now wrapped around his waist, while I run my hands up and down his naked back. Whoever it is, knocks again, and he peels himself out of my embrace.

"Hold that thought," he says, giving me a quick peck on the forehead as he helps me off the island. He sweeps his shirt up off the floor where I dropped it and puts it back on as he walks to the door. He opens it in a huff. " _What?_ Oh, sorry. Come in." _Great_ , now we won't be able to make love. A pitiful sounding sigh escapes my lips. It's probably for the best. I turn my back before I can see who it is and continue searching for something that sounds good to eat. I'm feeling nostalgic because of my father's condition so I pull some chicken and vegetables out of the refrigerator and start chopping them for a comforting Abnegation meal. Maybe this is my subconscious' way of not asking our guests to stay for lunch. Only Abnegation members, current or not, appreciate the plain, simple fare.

"Did we interrupt something?" Tori asks. I'd like to scream yes, but I keep my mouth shut. "We could come back later." I hear the apprehension in her voice. This is twice in two days that she and Harrison have interrupted us. They are getting just as bad as Christina.

"No," Tobias gruffly says once again sounding like Four. I absentmindedly wonder about his name. I can't believe I've given him another fear … that I hold so much power over him. We need to talk about this. I need to make him see that even when it gets tough that I'm not going anywhere. Damn Evelyn. She helped contribute to the man he became because of abandoning him. Now he thinks that anyone who loves him will leave him. Yes, we need to talk before we make love again. Now I'm kind of relieved that we were interrupted.

"We went to the infirmary and talked to Erin and Dr. Young," Will says. _Will!_ I spin around and can't believe my eyes.

"Why aren't you with Christina and Liam?" I ask. I know there must be a look of disapproval on my face so I try to smooth it out.

"They're both sleeping," he says trying to pacify me. "I felt like I could be of more use trying to track down Maria." I nod my head at him and turn back to my task.

"Sit down guys," Tobias says. "What did you find out? Did you spook them?"

"Definitely," Harrison says. "First, here's the picture of the good doctor." Oh, I want to see this. I put the knife down and wash my hands then go sit on the loveseat next to Tobias. He hands me the phone and I gasp. This could be a picture of him. Even in a long black lab coat, I see flame tattoos shooting up into the doctor's neck, which I honestly don't remember seeing before. But if I'm being totally honest with myself, I only really remember meeting him once or twice, and he didn't impress me. He was bossy, arrogant, and rude and had zero bedside manner.

"Looks like you," I mutter, meeting Tobias' gaze. "Harkin looks like Zeke. These are definitely the two guys."

"We think so too, Tris," Tori says, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Why don't you go upstairs and rest," Tobias says. "We'll take care of this."

"Actually, I'm hungry," I say, knowing he won't argue with the fact that I want to eat. The baby needs me to eat just as much as she needs me to rest. "I'll finish making lunch." I give him a quick peck on the cheek and go back into the kitchen. I can tell all eyes are on me.

"Tris' father isn't in very good shape," Tobias quietly says. "He has to have a delicate procedure tomorrow. We're all very worried about him. Isobel wants her here resting today."

"We could take this to your office," Will says.

"No," Tobias says. "You're already here. Just give me a summary of what you found out from Dr. Young and Erin."

"Dr. Young wasn't surprised when we came to talk to him," Will says. "It's like he was expecting us."

"Just as Tris suspected," Tobias proudly says. I can't help but smirk to myself while I'm chopping the carrots.

"He said he's been friends with the shooter, Wesley Harkin, since they were children. Their mothers were best friends," Will says. "He couldn't give any reasoning as to why he thought his friend would do something as despicable as the shooting yesterday. He was very much at ease. Too much if you ask me. If my best friend just killed six people and injured numerous others, I'm going to be a basket case."

"I agree with Will's assessment," Tori says. I glance over my shoulder and see Harrison nodding in agreement. "He didn't give us any new information, and per your instructions we didn't ask him anything about Maria, Erin, or Nicole."

"Erin on the other hand was a bundle of nerves," Will says. "I've never seen anything quite like it before in my life. When we approached her and asked to speak with her about Maria Burke, all the blood drained out of her face. I thought she was going to pass out right behind the intake desk. She told us that she hasn't had any contact with Maria for months and that she has no idea where to look for her but her eyes kept glancing at the telephone so I took it upon myself to text Zeke well before our interview was concluded and asked him to put a tap and trace not only on the infirmary's line but on Erin and Dr. Young's cell phones as well. They're all up and running."

"Has there been an update from Zeke?" Tobias asks.

"Not yet," Will says.

"Erin confirmed Maria's connection with her sister," Will continues. "We asked about Nicole's suicide but she wasn't very forthcoming in her answers, which didn't surprise any of us. So unfortunately, we didn't get any _concrete_ information on their involvement but Erin's suspicious behavior gives us hope that they'll lead us to Maria and then all of them can be arrested at the same time."

"We gave Simon and Tony your orders, Four, and they are beginning around the clock surveillance on both Dr. Young and Erin," Harrison says. "The three of us are confident this is going to work."

"My wife has great ideas," Tobias says and I look over my shoulder and smile at him then turn my attention back to the stew I'm making.

"Well, that's the update you asked for," Will says. "I'm going to go home and spend the afternoon with Christina and Liam. Don't hesitate to call if you guys need me. Tris, Christina would like to see you this afternoon if you're up to it."

"Sure, have her text me a time that's good for her," I say.

"Will do," he says. Soon our company parts and leaves me alone with my husband. He walks up behind me, encircling me with his embrace.

"Something sure smells good," he says kissing my neck. A smile turns up my lips as I yawn wide. "You're exhausted, love."

"I'm so hungry," I say with a pout.

"Go lie down and I'll finish this," he says. "I'll wake you when it's done."

"Okay," I say. "I'm not sure why I'm so tired. You let me sleep in this morning. Did I say thank you for that?"

"You were pissed at me if I remember correctly," he says with a smirk. Oh yeah! No note.

"I think I'm still upset with you on that," I say. I go up on my tiptoes and drag his mouth to mine. "But I think I'm willing to forgive you." I kiss him soundly, and he starts chuckling against my lips. "What is so funny?"

"You're tired, my little sex maniac," he says still chuckling. "I'll make love to you tonight, okay." Oh! That sounds nice but I still want to talk first. I guess there'll be plenty of time for both.

"I'm going to hold you to that," I say. He kisses the top of my head, and I turn and go to the couch. I think I'm out like a light before my head hits the cushion. When I wake up the fuzzy gray throw is tucked neatly around me and I smile. He takes such good care of me. My stomach growls loudly, and I realize that he didn't wake me up so I could eat and I frown. God, I'm hungry. I swing my legs around and sit up. I stretch my arms up over my head trying to shake the sleep off, and freeze where I sit. There not three feet away sitting on the love seat in _my_ living room looking like she doesn't have a care in the world is Maria.


	83. Chapter 83

Oh my, God! What time is it? Where is Tobias? Where are the kids? Has she done something to them? I look her up and down trying to stay as calm as I can and don't see a weapon but that doesn't mean she doesn't have one. I've learned not to assume anything in my year here at Dauntless. What is she doing here? What could she possibly want? She must not want me dead or she could have easily killed me while I slept. I wonder how long she's been staring at me. The look on her face is unnerving.

"Maria," I slowly say. I don't recognize my own voice. It's controlled, calculated, and ice cold, not an ounce of the fear I'm feeling showing through. _Maybe Tobias_ has _rubbed off on me after all_.

"Mrs. _Hayes_ ," she cheerfully says with a chuckle. It takes everything I have not to lunge myself across my living room at her, ripping out her throat. "I heard that you knew who I truly was so I thought I would come and pay you a visit. Does Four know everything about you and _Pete_? If he doesn't I'd be _happy_ to let him in on the secret for you."

"There is absolutely nothing to tell," I say, my voice still steady and strong.

"Oh, I beg to differ," she breezes. "You were all over Petey when you were in Candor, and you looked so happy. Maybe Four would like to hear all the _dirty_ details." What the _hell_? I was _not_ all over him. This bitch is crazy.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," I say, appalled. "You have to know that he gave me memory serum to make me think I was in love with him. Erased my family." I narrow my eyes at her. "Why am I explaining this to _you_?"

"Because deep down you know I'm right," she says in a sing-song voice. "You enjoyed your time with my good pal, Pete. He told me all about it you know, and I was there most of the time." The look on her face turns my stomach. What in the hell is she alluding to?

"You were there when he raped me?" I whisper, unable to hide my horror.

"Oh, Tris, Tris, _Tris_ , that wasn't rape," she jovially says, a huge smile on her face. "That was you spreading your slut legs for someone other than Four. Looked and sounded like you had a pretty good time to me." _Oh_. _My_. _God!_ I feel like I'm going to be sick. I look away from her and squeeze my eyes shut trying to keep the forming tears at bay. I must _NOT_ let her see me cry.

"Did you just come here to taunt me or do you need something?" I hiss.

"I just came to tell you that before this is over and done with, you'll get yours," she says with a smirk.

"Do you mind telling me what you think it is I did to you," I say. Her humorous look evaporates, and she's suddenly seething. I can't hide my surprise.

"All will be revealed in time," she growls. "I'll be going now."

"If you think I'm just going to sit here and let you just walk out the door, you've got another thing coming," I spit.

"If you don't, I'll find one of your little rug rats, and I'll take them with me," she says, an evil glint in her eyes. "Which one should it be, Tris? Tyler or Tessa? They're both quite cute. Which one do you think you could live without?" My eyes widen with fear, and I recoil from the excruciating pain that spasms through my heart. I can't let that happen. She's won ... this round. I can't believe that I'm going to let her walk out the door and slip through my fingers.

"Fine, leave," I say. "But I promise you this, _bitch_ , we _will_ find you."

"Oh, I'm counting on you trying," she says, her good mood restored. She gracefully gets up from the love seat and turns her back on me. I momentarily think about tackling her to the ground and bashing her face into the wooden floor until I see the shiny handle of a semi-automatic pistol sticking out of the waistband of her jeans. Shit, she _is_ armed. She sashays to the door, picks up my phone from its charger, slides it into her pocket, and gives me a friendly little wave like we're long lost friends. "Don't come after me. I'll know if you do." She opens the door and disappears into the hallway.

As I jump up off the couch, a strong wave of nausea crashes over me, and I run to the small powder room tucked under the stairs just in time to get violently sick. Oh, God! This is _not_ happening. Where are Tobias and the kids? I realize I still haven't looked to see what time it is. Tears start flowing unrestrictedly down my face now that she's gone. I wash my mouth out then fly upstairs to check all the bedrooms but no one is there. I rush back downstairs and find a note on the island calming my hammering heart but only a degree.

VI

I couldn't bear to wake you up, you were sleeping so peacefully. The stew is in the oven on warm. I know you'll be famished when you wake up. I hope you had a good nap. Your mom called. Andrew is the same. Kids are still with Zander and Stella. They went to the park. I had to get back to work. I'm truly sorry about the fight and pissed about the interruption. Tonight we'll lock the door. Promise. I love you so much, my beautiful wife. I'm sorry I made you doubt yourself.

IV (Or should I say V)

Oh thank God! He went to work. She didn't hurt him. Hell, how am I supposed to call him and let him know about my visitor when she took my phone? Going to my office flashes through my mind but I'd be so exposed behind the glass walls. Why did I end up with that one? _Not mow!_ Another solution comes to me, and I hurry across the hallway and lightly knock on Will and Christina's door. I don't want to disturb them but I need them now. Will's smile fades when he sees my face.

"What the hell? What's wrong?" he asks, keeping his voice low. I apprehensively look over his shoulder and see Christina asleep in his chair.

"Can I borrow your phone?" I ask, not realizing that I'm still crying. I try to wipe the tears away as my breath hitches in my throat but it does not good. They keep flowing down my cheeks at an alarming rate. He narrows his eyes at me.

"Of course," he says fishing it out of his back pocket and handing it to me. "Do you want to come in?"

"Who is it?" I hear Christina ask. _Damn!_

"I didn't mean to wake her up," I quietly say.

"Tris, is that you?" she asks sounding pleased but exhausted. I step around Will into their living room, and Christina's happy look dissolves into one of utter shock when she sees me.

"What's wrong?" she anxiously says. "Sit and tell me what's wrong."

"When I woke up, Maria was in the apartment," I say. They both gasp. "I've got to call Tobias. She took my phone. I don't want her luring him somewhere." I go through Will's contacts and hit the call button beside "Four." He picks up on the second ring.

"Hey, Will," he says thankfully sounding like himself. "I thought I told you we could handle things today. You need to spend time with Christina and Liam."

"It's me," I choke out. Silence greets me through the receiver momentarily.

"What's wrong?" he nervously asks.

"She was in the apartment," I say not having to explain who _she_ is. "She threatened to take one of the kids so that we'd never see them again. We need to get them back from the park. She had a gun, Tobias."

"Oh, my God!" Will and Christina says at the same time, horror obvious in their voices.

"Are you with Will and Christina?" he asks.

"Yeah, she took my phone," I say.

"I'm coming to pick you up," he says. "We'll go to the park and get Tyler and Tessa. Try not to worry."

"Tobias," I say interrupting him. "I'm not going to calm down until I have my kids in my arms. Please don't ask me to. I'm trying not to totally lose it."

"I'm on my way," he says. "I've got to make a couple calls. I'll be with you soon. I love you."

"I love you, too," I say then shut off the phone and hand it back to Will.

"You look horrible, Tris," Christina says. I laugh once. Leave it to Christina to tell the absolute truth. "Can we get you anything?"

"No, no," I say. "I didn't want to bother you two with this, especially now but I didn't know where else to go." The thought of Maria targeting Will, Christina, and Liam because they're giving me shelter in my time of need unwelcomingly enters my mind. I do my best to push the ugly thoughts away. There's no time for additional worry.

"You're not bothering us," Will says. "Please sit down. I just made a pot of coffee. Would you like a cup?"

"Yes, thank you," I say. "How are you, Christina?"

"We don't have to talk about me," she says. "You are a total wreck. How could anyone threaten your kids? This time last week, I'm not sure I would have understood what that meant but I do now. That's unforgivable." I sit down on the couch next to her.

"Being a mother changes you, huh?" I ask, a ghost of a smile on my lips. "How is Liam?"

"He's amazing," she says. "Do you want to hold him?" I nod at her. She eases her way out of the chair, walks across the room, and picks him up out of the bassinet and brings him to me. He's so small. Remembering Tessa when she was this tiny brings a new batch of tears to my eyes. I've got to get to her and Tyler. His eyes flutter open, and he looks around like he's confused. His eyes are so bright and so dark.

"He is so beautiful," I say. Staring into the wide, innocent eyes of this brand new life gives me a much-needed calm that's escaped me since I woke and found Maria staring at me. He starts rooting toward my breast, and I'm suddenly reminded that I haven't fed Tessa since late last night. I look toward Christina. "Is it time for him to eat?"

"Why?" she asks.

"He's rooting around," I say. "I'm not sure I should be holding him." She frowns a little bit. "It's been a while since I fed Tessa. It's kind of uncomfortable."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she says. "Will I ever catch onto this?"

"Yes," I say. "It just takes time." I get up and carefully place him in her arms then sit on the opposite end of the couch to give her a little privacy. Will hands me a cup of coffee, and I thank him. He then helps Christina put a nursing pillow across her lap. She positions Liam in front of her, pulls a blanket over him to cover herself, and then puts him to her breast. "I wish I could stay and talk to you."

"I totally understand," she says. "Once all this Maria shit is over, we'll have a nice long talk."

"I would like that," I say surprised by the need I hear in my voice. It's true though. I _need_ to talk to my best friend. So much has happened lately with her and with me.

"So would I," she says with a happy sigh. The knock on the door makes me jump, and I realize just how Maria's visit has affected me. Will opens it up and Tobias charges into the living room. I'm up and in his arms in a matter of seconds. He holds me tight, one arm circling my waist and the other hand griping my head tightly.

"Are you okay?" he whispers in my ear.

"I am now," I say holding him close. I feel his hammering heart slowing.

"What did she do?" he asks pulling away from me. His eyes roam over me. He puts his hands on both sides of my face and stares intensely into my eyes. Desire bubbles up but I push it down. Now is not the time.

"I don't know what her game is. She taunted me about Peter," I say. My eyes flash to Christina and Will. Will was with Tobias when he found me. He knows what happened but I've never spoken to Christina in depth about my time with Peter. "She was horrible. She obviously blames me for something but she wouldn't tell me what it was, and when I asked her about it her demeanor changed. She threatened to take one of the kids." I can't help myself and the tears start freely flowing down my face again. He pulls me back into his loving, protective embrace. I can feel love for me and hatred for that woman mixing in his body.

"Come on," he says. "Let's go to the park and get Tyler and Tessa. I'll feel better when we have them."

"Me, too," I say. He releases me from his hold, and I realize that I'm still holding the coffee cup. "Thanks for the coffee and the company." I hand the mug back to Will, and he gives me a quick hug. "You guys are wonderful friends."

"Go get your kids, Tris," Christina says. "Remember what I said, you and I will go shopping or get pedicures when all this is said and done. We deserve a little pampering." I cross the room and throw my arms around her neck, being careful of the little bundle of joy nursing under the lightweight blue blanket. I hug her tightly.

"It's a date," I say after I release her. "Thanks again." Tobias and I hurry to the curb where he's already parked the black sedan. I nervously fidget in my seat, crossing and uncrossing my legs, tapping both feet anxiously, shifting fretfully back and forth. Tobias reaches over and stills my bouncing knee with a steady hand.

"Love, you need to calm down. You're driving me crazy," he softly says. "And if you don't stop chewing your cheek, you're going to draw blood." I furrow my brows at him then register the pain in my mouth. I didn't even know I was doing that.

"I'm scared, Tobias," I say. "What if…"

"Don't go there," he says interrupting me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I shouldn't jump to worst case scenario but I'm freaking out over here." He reaches out and finds my hand and grips it tightly.

"Does it help for me to tell you that I'm dying inside right now also?" he quietly says. We lace our fingers together, and I cup our joined hands with my free hand. "We'll be there soon. They'll be fine. You'll see."

"Please don't make promises you can't keep," I say, a choking sob escaping my throat.

"Oh, love," he says. I can hear fear and heartbreak in his unsteady voice. "Please don't cry." I breathe through the crippling pain that's suddenly localized behind my left breast where my heart used to be while silent tears flow down my cheeks. Tobias pushes the gas pedal to the floor, and we race through the battered streets of the city toward the park. About 10 soundless minutes later we pull into the entrance. From a distance, I see the Parrish car parked next to the play area. I anxiously scan the people looking for familiar faces but I don't see any.

"Where _are_ they?" We park next to their van and I jump out. Movement catches my eye and I see Zander, Nash, Zane, and Tyler coming out of the restroom. "Tyler!" He looks up confused then beams when he sees me. I run toward him and he comes to me.

"Mommy! What you doing at pawk?" he asks looking so innocent. I scoop him up in my arms and hold him to me. "You otay? Why you cwyin'?"

"I'm crying because I'm so happy to see you," I say bathing him in kisses. He starts giggling uncontrollably then squirms in my arms letting me know he wants down. He's not done playing with Zane.

"Hi, Tris," Zane says. "Can we play?" He looks up at me with a hopeful look on his face. I glance at Tobias, and he nods. We don't want to scare them.

"Please stay where I can see you guys, okay?" I ask. They both smile brightly and run toward the playground equipment.

"Hey, Tris, Four," Stella says. I turn and she has Tessa in her arms.

"Oh, my baby!" I say taking her from Stella and holding her tightly.

"What's wrong, Tris?" Zander asks, worry evident on his face.

"Zander, maybe the kids should go play," Tobias says. I turn and notice Nash, Nya, and Sadine staring up at me. Only Avery and Gavin are missing.

"Guys, go play with Zane and Tyler," Zander says. They turn and run to the boys.

"Are you hungry, little one?" I ask Tessa when she nuzzles against my breast. She smiles at me when she hears my voice. "When did she last eat?"

"Around 10:30 a.m.," Stella says.

"Poor baby, you _are_ hungry," I say. "Well, Mommy will take care of that right now." I get a lightweight blanket out of diaper bag and sit down on the shaded park bench. I put her to my breast and cover us up. She suckles vigorously as I listen to Tobias' hushed conversation with Stella and Zander. I try to block out the earlier pain and relish the feeling that my family is here in front of me and safe. I watch Tyler happily playing with his best friend while I feed my daughter. Once again tears wet my eyes but this time they're tears of great joy. My eyes involuntarily scan the lush, green area making sure that we didn't lead her straight to my babies. Tyler's squeals pull me out of my reverie, and I look his way.

"Mommy, watch," he yells. He goes to the top of the jungle gym and fearlessly lies down on his tummy and flies head first down the slide. My heart nearly stops at his action but he's laughing like a little fool. I knew the moment I met him that he was fearless, _Dauntless_. "Did you see? Did you see?"

"Yes, I saw," I holler with a smile, my heart beating painfully in my chest from worry. "You be careful."

"I will," he shouts back at me. Tobias comes to sit down on the bench next to me, and I can feel Stella and Zander hovering behind us. There's an anxious tension on the air that wasn't here when we arrived. He puts his arm around me and pulls my close to him. I lay my head on his shoulder and sigh.

"Are you feeling better now?" he asks.

"I want so badly to take them home but I don't want to ruin his fun," I say. "Have you heard anything about her?"

"No," he says. "Just so you know, I've pulled Simon and Tony off of surveillance. They will be on protection detail until Maria is caught. If I'm not with you, they will be."

"Okay," I say.

"Wow," he says with disbelief obvious in his voice. "No argument?"

"No," I say. "Maybe I haven't been clear on how scared I was when I woke up and she was sitting there staring at me. It was very unsettling. I thought she had done something to you and the kids. I don't ever want to feel that powerless ever again. So if you want Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo watching me and the kids, I'm fine with it."

"That's very mature and level headed, Mrs. Eaton, except for maybe the crazy nicknames you've given my two best men," he says with a relaxed chuckle and a roll of the eyes. "Also, I've had them assign men they trust unequivocally to guard Andrew, Natalie, Caleb, and Cara. I called your Mom and told her about the protection detail. I didn't do it to stress her out but I thought she might wonder why there were Dauntless men following her around all of a sudden. She said she would pass the information on to Caleb and Cara. She's worried about you."

"She has so much to deal with right now," I say with a sigh, my mind going momentarily to my dad. "I really didn't want to add to the burden."

"She loves you," he says. "I doubt she thinks of it as a burden."

"Do we know how Maria got into the apartment?" I ask.

"I had Zeke look into that, and it appeared that she had a key. How she got that I have no idea," he says. "By the way, our locks are being changed as we speak."

"That makes me feel a little bit better," I say. "I wonder if she didn't somehow make a copy of your house key the night she drugged you. God that means she could have been in our home before." A cold chill runs through my body at the violating thought. I put Tessa against my shoulder until she burps then continue to feed her.

"You seem calmer," he says.

"It helps having her here in my arms, at my breast," I say gazing into his concerned yet loving eyes. "I wish there was a way to hold on tight to both of them."

"You do that here," he says, putting his hand over my suddenly racing heart. "You hold them tightly in your huge heart, guiding them, teaching them, loving them, caring for them. You're a wonderful mother. I'm sorry I implied otherwise earlier. Our children are very lucky to have you."

"I love you," I say.

"And I you," he says. He moves his hand and we sit back watching Tyler and his friends play until I'm worn out. After a while, I gaze down into Tessa's peacefully sleeping face and revel in how she makes me feel. I wouldn't be complete if I'd never known her. I can't tolerate the idea of something happening to my sweet baby girl. Tyler's scream then subsequent crying pulls me from my thoughts, and Tobias and I sprint to his side.

" _Mommy_ , I huwt myself," he cries, tears streaming down his face. I notice a gash on his left leg just below his knee with blood trickling down his shin and tears prickle my eyes knowing he's in pain. Tobias runs to the car to get our first aid kit while I hold Tessa in one arm and Tyler in the other. Didn't I just wish not that long ago that they were both safe in my arms? This isn't exactly what I meant. Tyler's painful cries wake his sister up causing her to cry, which in turns makes me start to cry.

"Would you like me to take her?" Stella softly asks knowing my tears are tears of frustration because I'm overwhelmed right now.

"Please," I say. She carefully takes Tessa out of my arms and gently swishes and sways until she stops crying and falls back to sleep.

"Why you cwyin', Mommy?" Tyler asks, crocodile tears in his big blue eyes.

"Because I'm sorry that you got hurt," I say kissing his forehead. Tobias comes back from the car and kneels down in front of us.

"Mommy cwyin'," Tyler says to him, which makes my heart sing. My boy really loves me.

"I can see that, buddy," he says reaching up and gently wiping away a few runaway tears. "Mommy's had a rough day. She's a bit overwhelmed. We should probably get her home." He's cleans, disinfects, and bandages Tyler's wound while he calmly talks to our son. Tyler stays still in my arms listening intently to his father then his face falls. Uh-oh! I wonder what this is about.

"But I go fo ice cweam with Zane," he says, his bottom lip protruding poutily. Tobias slides his eyes to mine and I nod.

"We'll stop for some ice cream, too," he says. "How does that sound?"

"Otay," he happily says.

"Zander, Stella, thank you so much for watching the kids today," Tobias says. "We're going to get going now. I need to get Tris home. She needs to rest before she falls over." For once I don't even want to argue with him. It's amazing how an unexpected visit from a deranged madwoman can put things into perspective. I gaze up at Tobias and all my earlier ire is gone, and I realize I want him more than anything right now. It's going to be a long evening until I'm in his arms, naked, moving my body with his. I draw a sharp breath into my lungs and Tobias looks my way. His warm gaze darkens as he stares at me. It's obvious that he knows what I'm thinking. I hear Zander chuckle under his breath as he looks at us, and I blush cherry red.

"Are you sure you don't want us to keep the kids?" he asks.

"Zander Avery Parrish. You behave!" Stella admonishes and I blush even deeper. I smile shyly up at my husband and realize his cheeks are the same color as mine.

"Alright sorry," he petulantly says. I giggle.

"I love that sound," Tobias says.

"So do I," Tyler says turning in my arms and assaulting me with a bear hug. I close my eyes and relish the fact that he loves me just as much as I love him. I kiss his cheek then lift him up and kiss the bandage below his knee. He smiles brightly at me.

"We better get going if we're going to have ice cream," Tobias says. His eyes light up, and I wonder what he's thinking about. "I have an idea that I think you'll both love. Let's make an evening out of it." I furrow my brows at him but he just smiles his brilliant Tobias smile at me and I melt.

"Whatever you have in mind in great with me," I say. "Surprise me."


	84. Chapter 84

It's quiet in the car, an air of anticipation running amongst us, as we make our way through the narrow winding pathways of the park toward the exit. I know we're going for ice cream but Tobias has something else in mind that I'm trying to guess. Nothing is coming to mind though. We said goodbye to the Parrish's at the park so I know whatever this surprise entails it only involves the four of us.

"Dying to know aren't you," Tobias says pulling me from my thoughts.

"You know me so well," I say gazing up at him. He takes our joined hands and kisses them sweetly. "I'm sorry for the ugly things we said to each other earlier."

"They're forgotten," he says with a genuine smile. I sigh. "What?"

"I don't want to fight. That's not what this is but I don't think we should just forget about them. I think we should learn from our mistakes, Tobias. Grow as a couple. I love you so much that sometimes it's a bit overwhelming for me. I never want to give you cause to doubt me. It was wrong to think about … walking away because honestly, there is _nothing_ you could do that would make me leave. Hearing that I gave you another fear nearly tore my heart out. I would hurt myself before I would ever hurt you. I think you know that."

"Fear's tricky," he says. "I know I have abandonment issues because of Evelyn but thinking of you walking out chokes me. I literally can't breathe. The first time it happened was after our first fight when you told me you couldn't do this anymore."

"An overreaction on my part," I say. "I know that now. I've apologized for my childish behavior." He smiles warmly at me.

"The second time I felt that crushing pain was when you kept thinking I didn't want you anymore before our wedding ... after Peter's initial assault. Then the worse it's ever been was when you didn't know who I was. Did you know I was prepared to walk away from you and leave you with Peter?" My eyes widen at him in disbelief.

"You wouldn't have fought for me?" I ask.

"Of course, I would have fought for you, for our family," he says with great intensity. "I'm glad it didn't come down to that but something changed that day. It instilled a fear in me that I can't shake. I feel like I'm going to lose you." I draw in a shaky breath.

"What can I do, Tobias?" I ask. "I don't want you feeling this way. I don't want to be the person who hurts you. I'm sorry the thought crossed my mind today. It's unforgivable."

"I should apologize for all _my_ childish behavior since I've met you," he says, keeping his voice low. I meet his glance before he tears his eyes away from mine and puts them back on the road. I don't know where he's going with this. "I'll give you a list. Getting drunk instead of talking to you. That was stupid. I knew it then. Going to the bar instead of talking to you the night Maria drugged me. She never would have gotten my keys if I just would have talked to you. Walking out on you after Peter raped you because I couldn't deal with it. I will never forgive myself for that. I don't know how you have forgiven me."

"No more," I say. He looks at me confused. "We've both made mistakes, Tobias. We're learning. We can't change the past but we can make a better future for us and our kids. We just need to remember to talk to one another."

"No yelling," he says.

"No yelling," I say. He brushes his knuckles down the side of my face and smiles his breathtaking smile.

"I love you so much, Mrs. Eaton," he says huskily.

"I love you too, Mr. Eaton," I roughly say. He pulls the car around the corner and into a public parking lot. We get out of the car and I get Tyler as Tobias gets Tessa. I think we're going to the ice cream parlor but he leads me past it to the little Italian place we had our last date at, and we get a quiet table toward the back. The delicious aroma reminds me that I still haven't eaten, and my stomach growls loudly. We order appetizers and two entrées to share and a mini cheese pizza for Tyler. We have a nice relaxing dinner as a family, laughing, talking, relaxing, and I couldn't be happier. When we finish our leisurely supper we head down the block into the old-fashioned ice cream parlor and each get a small sundae with our favorite flavor ice cream. Tyler looks like he's in seventh heaven as he devours the sweet treat. Tobias and I slowly enjoy the extraordinary indulgence. It's no wonder why Tyler likes to come here. Before we leave, Tyler, with my help, talks Daddy into getting some flavors to go and we end up with a freezer full of ice cream when we get home.

"Did I get too much?" Tobias asks, handing me yet another pint.

"Probably," I say with a chuckle. "But it won't go to waste. Tyler will make sure of that."

"I told you the other day that you have him wrapped around you finger," he says.

"And I told you it was the other way around," I remind him.

"Well, that boy has me wrapped around his finger too," he says handing me the last pint. I think this one is mint-chocolate chip, my favorite.

"He's a good boy," I say. "I wouldn't worry about it too much. Shall we watch a movie?"

"Yes!" Tyler says from the couch.

"How did he hear me?" I ask Tobias who gives me a quick kiss then we head into the living room. I get Tessa from her swing and Tobias puts in _Cars_... again. I roll my eyes at him, and he just grins at me. One thing we know for sure is that Tyler will be absorbed by the movie. Maybe after I feed Tessa, Mommy and Daddy can make out a little on the couch. I giggle and Tobias furrows his brows at me. "You put this movie in on purpose didn't you?"

"Who, me?" he asks with a wink.

We sit side by side on the couch and Tyler sits on the floor. I hold Tessa close and after about half-an-hour, she's ready to eat. When she finishes I put her in the bassinet, and I cuddle close to Tobias. He wraps his arm around me, and the next thing I know he's carrying me upstairs. _No!_ This isn't what I wanted my night to be like. I try to keep my eyes open but it doesn't work and sleep consumes me.

Tessa's fussing through the baby monitor pulls me from a disturbing dream about Maria. I don't know what it is about this woman but she's shook me to the core. My heart is thundering in my chest, my body is covered in a light sheen of sweat. I stop by the bathroom to clean myself up a bit then go into Tessa's room. I get to her just before she starts wailing. I pick her up, and she calms instantly. Sometimes I think she just misses the attention in the middle of the night and it isn't the diaper changes and feedings that calm her down. I quickly put a dry diaper on her then sit down in the rocker. She doesn't appear overly hungry yet so I slowly rock back and forth with her. My mind wanders over the past couple days, and I sigh with a heavy heart. I cuddle Tessa close to me and talk to her. I tell her that Grandpa has to have brain surgery. I tell her about my anxiety after Maria's visit. Soon she's showing obvious signs that she's hungry so I lower the top of my camisole and place her to my breast. I suddenly realize that I'm in pajamas. How? Tobias must have helped me change before I went to bed. Wow, I don't remember that at all.

I continue talking to my precious little princess as she feeds first from one breast and then the other one. I tell her how much I love her and Tyler. I also tell her how much I love her daddy. Her eyes are trying hard not to close and she releases me. I put her against my shoulder until she burps then I straighten my shirt. I rub her back until she is deep asleep then I place her in her crib. I head across the hallway to Tyler's room next and make sure he's safe. He's fast asleep in the middle of his toddler bed. I lightly run my hand across his head and kiss his forehead but he doesn't stir.

I walk back into the bedroom and notice that Tobias is tossing and turning rather violently, although he's not making a sound. I freeze for a moment then realize that he must be having a nightmare even though he hasn't had a nightmare in ages. I run to his side and put my hands on his shoulder.

"Tobias, Tobias," I anxiously say. "Wake up, baby. You're dreaming. Tobias, please wake up." His eyes fly open and there are unshed tears in them. He looks around the room, confused. "I think you were having a nightmare." He lunges at me, and suddenly I'm in his arms.

"Thank, God! You're here," he says crushing me with his embrace.

"Of course, I'm here," I say. "I'm not going anywhere."

"She killed you," he slowly says. What? Oh! His nightmare. "She killed you and the kids and made me watch. I thought she was going to kill me too but she left me with my misery." Tears spill from his eyes and down his cheek. "She took you guys away from me. I couldn't breathe."

"I'm fine," I say. "Tyler's curled up in a ball in the middle of his bed. I just checked on him. Tessa just ate and is asleep. They're both fine." His soft lips land on mine, startling me momentarily but then I melt into his need-filled kiss. This is what I wanted earlier but my body betrayed me, and I fell asleep. He pulls away from me and gets out of bed. My mind is cloudy with heady desire. _What's he doing?_ He quickly walks to our open door, closes it, and turns the lock. It's amazing how that little clicking noise makes me feel. It sends a shiver of anticipation down my spine. He wants me too. He grabs the quilt and sheet from the end of the bed and pulls them down and onto the floor then crawls up the bed and lies down beside me.

"I'm going to make love to you now," he says, not touching me yet.

"Oh!" I exclaim.

"But I want to see you," he says, leaning up and switching the bedside lamp on. I close my eyes against the assault then blink a few times getting used to the subtle light. "Hi."

"Hello," I say, staring into his nearly black eyes.

"I'm going to go slow, savor us," he says, unhurriedly running just the callused tips of his fingers up my thigh, over my belly, between my breasts, up my chest to my chin until they land on my parted lips. "I could have lost you today, Mrs. Eaton. You know what that does to me. So I'm making a new vow to you right here and right now to live each and every day to the fullest, to never go to bed angry, and to show you how much I love you each and every day." He slowly lowers his mouth and puts his lips on mine never taking his shining eyes off of mine. His kiss is sweet, full of love and adoration. I wrap my arms around his neck and arch myself against his body as the kiss subtly changes. It becomes deeper, more carnal. I feel one of his hands gradually moving up my body until it lands on my aching breast, and I gasp into his open mouth.

"I love you," I whisper when he moves his mouth to my throat. He grazes his wet lips from the hollow at the base of my throat up to my jawline and up to my sensitive ear. I swear I feel each movement between my thighs. I run my hands up and down his back, tracing his expansive tattoo from memory. "I need you."

"You've got me," he murmurs against my ear then sticks the tip of his tongue into the canal, and I let out a guttural moan. I feel his lips turn up into a smile on my skin. I run my hands down to the hem of his skintight black tank top and drag it up his back and over his head and throw it on the floor. "Are you in a hurry, love? I want to take this slow. I want to give you all of me. I want you to give me all of you."

"Don't make me wait too long, Tobias," I whine. "I'm aching for you already." He gasps at my bold words. When did I become so brazen? Oh, it's him. He wields this magical power over me but as much as I want him inside me right now, I want to make him happy and if going slow makes him happy then that's what we'll do.

"We're going to try something a bit different tonight," he says, his lips on mine once again.

"What?" I breathlessly ask.

"It's a surprise," he says. "But I need a number between 1 and 10." I can't help myself, and I pull away from his passionate kiss with a bewildered look on my face.

"What?" I ask with a chuckle. "A number? What do you need a number for?"

"You'll see," he says. _What's he up to?_ I furrow my brows and stare deeply into his loving eyes, and I nearly combust from his fiery gaze.

"Five," I mouth, unable to make a sound come out of my mouth.

"That's a great number," he says. He sits beside me and pulls me up into a sitting position. He puts his mouth on my left ear and kisses me gently then kisses and nips his way down to my left shoulder where he kisses my exposed collarbone and each of my ravens before putting his hot, wet mouth on my breast through the silk material of my camisole. He sucks and bites my nipple until it's pebble hard and aching for skin on skin contact. He abruptly moves his mouth to mine and thrusts his tongue between my parted lips where he finds my tongue, and we let them do battle. Just when I think I'm going to claim victory, he brusquely removes his tongue from my mouth and kisses his way to my right ear. I groan in frustration, and I hear a nearly inaudible laugh come from him. He's playing a game with me. His hands leisurely make their way down to my hips and slowly raises my cami up my body, grazing his fingertips along the way, leaving a burning desire in their wake, then tosses it to the side with his shirt.

"Have I ever told you how perfect you are?" he asks as he lowers me back onto the mattress. I gaze up at him, and I see the depth of his feelings radiating out of his eyes. I reach up and glide my fingers down his face then bring his mouth to mine again and give him a mindlessly provocative kiss. His hand glides down my body and slips into my sleep shorts surprising me. I take a quick breath as he comes up for air and gasp when he gently touches me. I put both hands on either side of his face, and we stare into each other's eyes, our breath increasing, our chests heaving together as he incessantly circles my nubbin with his fingers. I start squirming beside him, and he slowly sinks a finger into my tight depths and I close my eyes and whimper. I throw my head back and involuntarily raise my hips to meet his probing digit.

"Oh, Tobias," I moan. He adds a second finger and picks up the pace. I raise my lips to his and kiss him passionately while we let our tongues tangle intimately. I feel my insides start to clench as he continues to rhythmically push into me, and I come around his fingers, wildly, explosively. I break our kiss and scream out his name in fulfillment.

"You're so damn sexy when you come," he says as he removes his fingers from my body and my panties, and I go bright red from embarrassment. "Don't be embarrassed. It's the truth. I love everything about you." He puts his lips on mine for a tender kiss then sighs. "Your lips are soft, supple, yielding. They mold to mine perfectly." He leverages himself above my body on one forearm and runs his free hand down my body. "You have such lovely skin. It's soft, luminescent." He skims his fingertips over my naked breasts. "I'm in awe of your flawless breasts. They provide our darling baby girl with sustenance to grow yet they also provide me with such pleasure." His eyes dilate further with his admission, and he suddenly leans back and pulls my shorts down and off my body. "I love having you naked in my bed. You are _so_ beautiful, my wife. How did I ever get to be so lucky?" He kisses every inch of my swollen abdomen then looks up at me and says, "I love your belly. It turns me on. _I_ did this. This is _my_ child in here." All the muscles below my navel contract and release deliciously at his words. He's never been as forthcoming as he's being right now. He inches himself down further, spreading my legs wider as he goes. I find myself holding my breath with anticipation of what he's about to do. "Would it surprise you if I were to tell you this is one of my favorite parts of your body?" He places a kiss directly over my moist womanhood, and I start panting. "Do you want this?" He darts his tongue out and barely touches the very edge of my nubbin. My hips buck up toward his talented tongue.

"Oh, God, yes," I moan. He kisses and gently bites the inside of my left thigh and chuckles at my exuberance then skims his tongue up and across my pubic bone and down my right thigh, kissing and licking. " _Please_." My hips sway trying to find his mouth, and he finally takes pity on me. He captures my nubbin between his teeth and swirls his tongue all around it then laps at it lightly. When he bites down on it, my back arches off the bed leaving only my head and my hips on the mattress. Short, sharp gasps part my lips as he pushes me over the edge. I grasp his head and hold him to me as he continues the sweet torture. " _Oh! My! God! Tobias!_ Stop, stop, _stop_! Please stop!" He releases my throbbing nubbin and kisses his way up my body until his mouth lands on mine. He gives me a long, thorough, engulfing kiss.

"I want your mouth on me," he breathlessly says when he releases me. I gasp. He's never asked me to do that before but, of course, I'm more than willing.

"Do you want me to make you come, baby?" I ask and _he_ gasps … loudly. His already black eyes glaze over with lust at my words. _Two can play this game, Tobias_.

"Yes," he huskily says. I smile seductively up at him, and he quickly flips us over so I'm on top of him. I kiss the sensitive spot beneath his right ear and he moans.

"I love that I can turn you on, baby," I whisper in his ear between kisses. "It empowers me. It excites me. It pushes me further. I love you, my husband."

"I love you, my wife," he roughly says. I continue kissing my way down his chiseled chest, stopping at his erect nipples. I capture one between my lips, sucking gently and roll the other between my thumb and fingers. "God, Tris." He runs his hands up my body into my hair. I feel his heart beating rapidly beneath my mouth, and it resonates in the pit of my stomach. I continue further down his taut abs, looking him in the eyes the entire time. I slowly run the tip of my tongue across my top lip then put my hands on his sleep pants and rapidly pull them down and off.

"I see you're looking forward to this," I say eying his fully erect manhood, my voice breathy and wanting. I don't know which one of us wants this more. "Tell me, Tobias. Do you want this? Do you want _me_?"

"You know I do, love," he says reaching down and caressing my face. I can't help myself, and I lean into his touch.

"I'm glad you asked. It means you trust me. So lie back, baby, and let me love you." I smile a minx's smile at him then lean over and devour him. His sharp intake of breath hits me between my thighs. It amazes me how this turns _me_ on. The power to bring him to completion, it's heady, exhilarating, and oh so stimulating. I slowly run the very tip of my tongue up and down his hard shaft then swirl my tongue around the head before taking him fully in my mouth, never taking my eyes off his. I repeat the sequence time and again, meticulously increasing the suction and the pace each pass. He moans, closes his eyes, throws his head back, and raises his hips to meet each of my downward strokes pushing him deeper and deeper into my mouth until he releases himself with a jarring, pulsating climax.

I release him from my mouth then kiss each of his hip bones. I slowly graze my lips up his amazingly still hard length, dropping a kiss on the head then randomly place kisses all the way up his Adonis-rivaling body until my lips capture his in a mind-blowingly intimate kiss. We break away from each other panting heavily.

"Oh, Tobias," I huskily say. "I want you so much."

"What do you want?" he asks rolling us so he's on top but not putting any pressure on my belly. God, I miss his body covering mine.

"You," I breathe. "Inside me, loving me. _Now!_ "

"Okay," he says. "I told you I want something new. Are you ready?"

"Yes," I say, the anticipation of the unknown driving me crazy.

"Hands and knees, love," he says. That's not new but I move into position immediately. He goes up on his knees in the middle of the bed, and I kneel before him. I look over my shoulder at him and rub my backside against his hard length. His eyes glaze over with lust, and he shakes his head no at me. His quick movement startles me and I suddenly find myself on my knees too in front of him. He sits on his heels and pulls me down onto his lap. "If it's uncomfortable or if it hurts, let me know and we'll stop and do something familiar." My breath quickens at his words with what, fear, anticipation? I don't know. What in the world is he planning? He lifts me up a little, and I feel him place himself at my moist heat then he eases into me, filling me, stretching me, touching me in places I swear have never been touched before. It's so deep this way, and he's hitting just the right spot as he slowly thrusts into me over and over. I throw my head back onto his shoulder, and he takes advantage, kissing my exposed throat.

"Oh, shit" I say moving in synchronized rhythm with my very own bona fide sex god. We keep the pace steady, slow yet my body responds like it always does, climbing higher and higher with each stroke. "I love you."

"I love you," he says in my ear, his voice low, raspy. I try to absorb the countless sensations moving through my body thinking they quite possibly will make me lose my mind: one callused hand gently kneading an aching, full, tender breast; the other hand caressing my throbbing, sensitive bundle of nerves persistently; his massive manhood touching me so deep inside, unhurriedly pushing me toward what I know will be a mind-blowing orgasm; the astonishing spiritual feeling of our bodies moving as one. A deep moan rattles in the back of my parched throat as spectacular passion peaks in my quaking body producing overwhelming spasms around his invading length causing him to cry out as he floods my depths with his pulsating life.

We collapse together still joined onto the bed, my back against his front trying desperately to suck in lungful's of air. He gently eases himself back out of me and sits up so I'm sitting between his parted legs leaning against his chest. I turn in his arms, and his lips find mine with a groan.

"You know, when you asked me if I wanted you to make me come … I … almost … came … right … then. That's the power you wield over me, love," he says tucking my fringe behind my ear. "So beautiful, so bewitching." He puts his lips on mine, kissing me passionately. "You're becoming so brave, bold, unashamed. It turns me on and makes me so damn hard."

"It's you, Tobias," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his hair. "You make me brazen, fearless … insatiable. I can't get enough of you. The subject of sex is still somewhat uncomfortable for me but … all I want to do is please you." He furrows his brows at me. " _What_? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"All I want is to please _you_ ," he says. "I'm the one who can't get enough of you." He laughs his deep belly laugh that makes me melt. "We're quite the pair." He puts his mouth on mine, and I feel his manhood stir against my leg.

"Again?" I say against his mouth. "I think _you're_ the insatiable one, Mr. Eaton. What am I going to do with you?"

"I can think of a million things," he says.

"You're so bad," I say.

"Mrs. Eaton, I've told you what you do to me." He drags my hand to his hardening, growing, pulsating length, and I stroke him gently. "I love your touch, Beatrice Grace. And yes, I want to be inside you again." He gives me a long, slow, sensual kiss, his tongue demonstrating what it is he wants to do to me. "Right now. Let me love you."

"Yes," I say. "I want to feel you on me." His eyes darken and he slowly starts shaking his head.

"The baby," he says.

"I won't let you do anything that hurts me or the baby," I say. How do I properly express how much this means? "I just want to feel your body on mine, Tobias. I miss it … so much." He growls in my ear. He gently lies me back on the bed and lies down beside me. His mouth lands on mine with a fervent kiss our hands all over each other. When we break away from each other I think he'll take me immediately but he doesn't. He instead starts kissing his way down my chest to my breasts, which I now realize have been sorely neglected for the majority of this morning. He sighs as he captures my distended nipple with his moist lips. He sucks gently then swirls his tongue lightly around it, teasing. His free hand caresses my other breast then rolls the nipple between his nimble fingers, tugging and squeezing making me feel it in my slick womanhood. He suddenly switches breasts and puts his hot, wet mouth on the hard bud his fingers was just manipulating and his talented digits manipulate my other aching nipple.

"Oh!" he says pulling back a bit then putting his mouth back on my nipple. "Mm." I narrow my eyes at him. "I just got a taste of milk for the first time. I think I like it." My eyes early pop out of my head.

"Tobias!" I say stunned and more than a little bit embarrassed.

"Tris," he says. He lightly trails a fingertip from my breast down to the vee between my legs and very gently inserts it into my body.

"Oh, God! You don't play fair." He grins at me then puts his mouth back on my nipple.

"I think I'll just have another little taste," he says sucking gently. I close my eyes trying to forget that he's drinking my milk and concentrate on the sensual feeling he's creating with his probing finger and pulling lips. I start raising my hips in time with his gentle thrusts and right before I find my release he removes his finger and thrusts into me fully, triggering an explosive orgasm. I scream out for him, and he starts rocking above me with slamming thrusts. My body continues to spasm around his length as I relish the feeling of his body on mine in what has to be my favorite position. I wrap my legs around his thighs, moving my hips up to his. I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him fiercely surprised that there's no uncomfortable sensation where he's pressing continually into my tummy.

"God, I've missed this," I pant. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says, increasing our pace further. I feel the familiar stirrings of yet another climax starting deep down inside me as I writhe beneath him. Tobias stares into my eye as he glides effortlessly back and forth within me. My breathing quickens further, and he starts to move impossibly faster.

"Oh, God!" I breathe. "So good." My hips surge upward repeatedly as he presses down into me. "Tobias, oh God! I'm gonna come, baby. Shit!" I arch off the bed, my toes curl, and my body stiffens as I convulse around him as he groans long and low in my ear as he releases himself into me. He collapses on top of me but only for a moment then he turns us on our sides. The moment was wonderful though.

"Five," I think I hear him whisper in my ear. _Five_? Oh God, the number he asked for. I start giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Five _orgasms_?" I finally mutter, gasping for breath once again. "What would have happened if I said 9 or 10?"

"I'd still have a hell of a lot of work to do," he says with a grin on his face. I start giggling again. "God, I love that sound." He runs his hands down my face and pulls out of me then gathers me in his arms. I trace and retrace my name over his heart listening to the sound of our slowing breathing.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton," I say. "Maybe we should get some rest now."

"I was thinking the same thing, love," he says. He disentangles our limbs and rolls out of bed. He looks back at me and sighs then walks to the end of our bed where he tossed the sheet and quilt. He pulls our covers up and over me. "I'm not ready to get dressed yet."

"Okay," I say. "You know, I could get used to this." I love being skin-on-skin with him. He goes to my closet and gets my robe and lays it on my bedside table then turns off our light and crosses the room to unlock and open our door. He comes back to bed, and I lay my head on his chest.

"Good night, Tris," he sleepily says. "I love you."

"Love you, too, Tobias."


	85. Chapter 85

Tobias and I lie tangled together for what seems like hours. I have my head on his hard, chiseled, naked chest listening to his steady, rhythmic breathing trying to fall asleep but yesterday's troubles creep into my head robbing me of peaceful sleep. I try to push the negative thoughts away but the harder I try the more my subconscious screams at me that I wanted to talk first.

"Tris?" Tobias asks, his voice low and silky, startling me. "Are you okay?"

"No, not really," I say. "There's something you need to know."

"What is it?" he asks, his curiosity piqued.

"It was my intention that we talked before we made love tonight," I say grasping his hand and lacing our fingers together over his heart.

"Do you want to talk now?" he asks, his voice unsure.

"Yeah," I say realizing that if we don't talk, I may never sleep again. He flips his light back on, and I bury my head in his chest. "What do you want to talk about?"

"You," I say. "Why didn't you tell me about the new fear?"

"I know we promised no secrets but I figured that it would go away in time," he says. "Unfortunately it hasn't."

"You said you've watched me die and walk away numerous times," I whisper. "How often do you go through your landscape, and how have I never noticed before?" The room goes silent again as he considers his answer. I feel my anxiety raising, and I practice my deep breathing trying to calm my now racing heart.

"Most weeks I sneak off every day while I'm at work and go through it," he says. I wrestle my way out of his arms and, gripping the quilt close to my naked body, I sit up.

"Tobias Eaton!" I scold. "You do realize what you're doing right?" He looks at me questioningly. "You're driving yourself crazy. I don't know how you've been able to hide this from me for so long. Am I so selfish that I didn't see what you've been struggling with? It has to be excruciating to keep reliving your worst fears day in and day out. It's no wonder you started screaming at me the minute you heard that Peanut could be in danger. You need to _stop_. I know firsthand how helpful the fear landscape can be to try and work through your problems but going through it nearly every day has to be a form of self-torture." He sits up in bed also, his face a mask.

"I don't think I'm torturing myself," he slowly says.

"Can you tell me why you keep going through it then?" I ask wanting to know why he does this to himself. "It's a bit obsessive don't you think?" I search my husband's eyes for a sign of how he's feeling right now but instead Four stares back at me. I hate it when he closes himself off from me.

"I don't know how to explain," he says. He closes his eyes and sighs. He doesn't open them when he continues. "I'm not sure that I know why I keep going back in. I just do."

"Can I tell you what I think going through your fear landscape every day is doing to you?" I say. He slowly opens his eyes and gives me a guarded look. "You're reliving your worst fear, me leaving and taking the kids with me, day in and day out. It's making it real for you. I think it's convinced you that I'm going to walk out on you one day." I sigh and shake my head. "That can't be further from the truth. Tobias, the biggest mistake I ever made was walking out on you the night you introduced me to Evelyn. Yes, it was devastating for me to find out that you were keeping secrets but I overreacted, I panicked, and I walked out. Maybe you don't know, but walking out that door, walking away from _you_ … it shattered my heart into a million pieces. I'm surprised that it pieced back together so seamlessly but it did. Do you think I would ever put myself through that kind of pain ever again? Please, baby, I need you to believe me. I hate that I've ever made you doubt my love for you, my love for us." He blinks his eyes at me a couple times before I see his true emotions: guilt, love, fear, confusion. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he holds tightly to me. I lean back and look into his eyes. "I make this promise to you right here, right now, Tobias Marcus Eaton. I will _never_ walk away from our marriage. We may get angry with each other but I love you too much to do that to us. So please put this fear to rest because you're worrying yourself over nothing." He very slowly moves his mouth to mine and gives me a long, deep, hungry kiss. He very gently lays me back on the mattress and follows me down so he is lying beside me, one hand teasing my aching breast. Will there ever be a day I won't want this, want him in this irrational way? Oh, God! I hope not.

"I'll stop," he whispers against my skin.

" _No_ ," I plead. "Don't stop." He starts laughing and raises his head to look into my eyes.

"I meant going through my fear landscape, love. I'll stop going through my landscape," he says his eyes shining with love, lust, trust, and desire.

"Oh," I say suddenly feeling extremely shy. How could I have made that mistake? A slow blush spreads over my entire body.

"My beautiful wife," he murmurs against my tummy, slowly kissing every inch and continually moving lower when I hear crying through the baby monitor.

"Oh, Tessa," I sigh throwing my arm over my eyes. "Daddy was just getting ready to do something wonderful with his tongue." He kisses the inside of my thigh and chuckles. "Are you sure you want to have more kids?" He laughs heartily.

"You know, you're going to regret you said that when the desire clears from your head, love," he says still chuckling. "I can get her if you'd like."

"No," I say reaching down between my legs and running my fingers through his hair. "I'll feed her in her room."

"Okay," he says, moving up and over me to kiss me tenderly. When he releases me, I roll out of bed and slide my robe on and tighten the belt.

"Oh, one other thing," I say over my shoulder as I go to check on our daughter. "I know you will never raise a hand toward me or the kids, Tobias. You are _not_ your father. Please try to believe that too." He flinches at my words but gives me a small smile. Will he ever stop beating himself up?

I walk into Tessa's room and gently lift her into my arms. Tobias was right, I feel guilty for my earlier comment, and I hold her to me tightly thanking God that I have her, her brother, and our little Peanut. My life just wouldn't be the same. She somehow gets her hand stuck in my robe and starts sucking her fist through the fabric. "My poor baby girl, are you hungry? Mommy's sorry. But you did really well tonight. It's been almost five hours since you last ate. You're becoming such a big girl." I sit down in the rocker and put her to my breast and memories of earlier come back to me and I flush. Tobias drank from my breast. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that. It does make me wonder though, am I going to be able to feed Tessa and the baby at the same time? Will there be enough milk for both of them? I still have so much to learn about being a mom.

I stare down into Tessa's peaceful face as she nurses from my breast, and I wonder what Peanut will be like. Tyler and Tessa are both so mellow and laid back. Will she be mellow too, or will she take after me and Tobias and be a bit high strung? I guess we'll find out in a few months.

When I finish nursing Tessa, I change her diaper and put her back in her crib in hopes that she'll sleep even though she looks wide awake. I go back into our bedroom hoping Tobias and I can pick up where we left off but he's not in bed. Hhm. Where is he? I check the bathroom but it's empty also. When I start down the stairs I hear him talking softly. When I reach the landing, I see that he's on the phone and worry courses through my body. Is this about Maria? When he sees me, he smiles warmly, and the anxiety erases. I decide that our night is over and since it was an eventful one that coffee is very much needed so I go into the kitchen and start a big pot. After it brews, I carry two mugs into the living room, sit one on the side table, and sink down onto the couch and wait for Tobias to finish his call. I really can't make heads or tails of what's going on based on just his side of the conversation. I drink my coffee while my mind wanders to my dad and his serious condition. I wonder what time his procedure is today. That thought makes me freeze where I sit.

"Shit!" I say. Tobias stops midsentence and looks at me inquisitively. My fearful eyes meet his, and I see his body physically tense.

"I'll call you back," he says into the phone and shuts it off. "What is it?"

"Maria has my phone," I say. He looks at me like I've lost it.

"Um. Yeah, I know," he slowly says.

"What if Mom texted with details about Dad's procedure," I say. "She'll know exactly where we're supposed to be today. Or worse, what if she lures my mom somewhere. "

"Tris, I told your mom that your phone has been compromised and that if she gets any communications from it to forward them to me immediately," he says. "As a matter of fact, I've let everyone know that you no longer have your phone." I physically calm down and sink further into the couch cushions.

"Thanks. I'm sorry I freaked out," I say. "Who were you talking to?" He picks up his coffee and sits down on the couch next to me, putting the mug to his lips and takes a long draw of the still hot coffee.

"Tori," he says. "Zeke went through the tapes and found that Erin called Maria with a warning that she was questioned about her and that Young had been questioned about Harkin. We have someone monitoring the calls live from now on."

"Have they been arrested?" I ask.

"Not yet," he says. "We still want to see if they'll lead us to Maria. We have eyes on them. They're not going to give us the slip."

"I hope you're right about that," I say. He narrows his eyes at me. "I'm not doubting you, Tobias. I'm just worried about Maria. She's smart, sneaky and, in my opinion, unstable. It's a dangerous combination. And like I said, she had a gun."

"I've never wanted to hurt a woman until yesterday," he says. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me to him, kissing my head.

"I know you were scared when I called you," I say. "Why don't you call Tori back, and I'll go upstairs and take a shower."

"Wish I could join you," he murmurs in my ear.

"You can," I say.

"No," he says. "I've got work to do."

"Okay," I say unable to hide my disappointment. I go to get up, and he pulls me back into his arms, and his lips land on mine with a scorching kiss. Just before he lets me go, he kisses me softly, sweetly, slowly, lovingly. I sigh as we part. "Keep kissing me like that and I'm going to take you right here on the couch." He grins at me salaciously, and I have a hard time catching my breath. "Take a shower with me, Tobias." He sits there staring at me. " _Please_." He finally gets up off the couch, takes my hand, and leads me up the stairs into the bathroom. Within minutes we're in the shower under the hot water spray and he's inside me, moving me closer to a quick, wondrous release.

"Oh, God, Tris!" he groans into my neck as my body convulses around his in a blistering release causing him to drive fully into me, still, and then spill his seed deep inside. We let our breathing return to normal, he pulls out of me, and I turn around and face my handsome husband.

"We should start out every morning this way," I say with a smile, grabbing my bottle of body wash as he grabs my shampoo. As I wash my body, he's lathering the coconut-scented shampoo into my hair, and I momentarily still as he massages my scalp. It feels absolutely fantastic. When he finishes, I stand under the showerhead, and all the suds on my body wash down the drain. He grabs my bottle of conditioner as I grab his masculine-scented body wash. He puts the conditioner in my hair while I run my soaped-up fingers all over his shoulders, chest, and abdomen. He grabs his shampoo and starts washing his hair while I wash his back then the lower half of his body. I do a thorough job cleaning him, and he responds to my touch, which reignites my passion. After he rinses his body, I sink to my knees and grin at him before taking him in my mouth where I treat him to his second release when he groans loudly and let's go in my hungry mouth. I kiss my way up his body until his mouth lands on mine in a passionate need-filled kiss. He turns us until I'm once again under the water, and he runs his hands through my hair rinsing all the conditioner from it.

"That was one hell of a shower," he says standing in front of the sink with a towel wrapped low around his hips as he shaves the bottom half of his face. I sit naked on the stool applying my coconut oil lotion, watching his every move.

"Yes it was," I say with a smile. "It was quite stimulating."

"Angry that I didn't reciprocate?" he asks, peering down at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Let's see, Mr. Eaton," I tease as I pull my robe up to cover my naked body. "If I'm not mistaken you have given me six amazing orgasms over the past few hours and you only had three. I believe I'm still winning."

"So this is a game to you, Mrs. Eaton?" he asks with a naughty gleam in his eyes.

"Why, I'm certain that this is _your_ game, Mr. Eaton," I say with a smirk. "And just so you know, I'm going for a _high_ number next time just to see what you're really made of." I slowly glide my finger up his hard body and tweak the tip of his nose. He startles me by grabbing me up in his arms and spinning me around. I giggle loudly, and we stop when we hear laughter from the now open doorway. Tobias stops the spinning and sits me on my feet, and we look at Tyler. He's got a huge grin on his handsome little face as he dances around.

"Do you need to go potty?" Tobias asks. Tyler eagerly nods his head up and down.

"I'll leave you two alone," I say giving first Tobias and then Tyler a quick kiss. I go into my bedroom and get dressed rather quickly in a pair of comfortable lightweight dark gray linen drawstring maternity pants with an underbelly waistband that showcases my growing belly, a long black fitted tank top with narrow straps and built-in bra, and a pair of black 2-inch ankle boots. When I think I'm presentable I go down the hallway to check on Tessa. I'm really surprised to find her still awake. "Hey, little one. You look happy to see me." I love her bright smile. It always puts one on my face. I dress her in a feminine-looking black onesie with ruffles across the butt and put a little ponytail on top of her head with a little black Velcro bow. "You are the most adorable baby I've ever seen." I take her downstairs and lie her on a blanket on her tummy on the floor. Just as I'm turning to go to the kitchen to start breakfast, I see her roll over onto her back. "Ooohhh!" I clap my hands together excitedly and go back to pick her up. "I finally saw you rollover, my sweet baby girl." I hug her tightly ignoring the tears that are rolling down my face.

"What's wrong?" Tobias asks anxiously.

"I finally saw her rollover," I say.

"Now, I'm the only one who hasn't seen her rollover," he says with a frown on his face.

"Do you want to see your daddy, little one? I think he's a little grumpy. But it's hard to stay that way looking at you." I say and she smiles her heartbreakingly sweet toothless grin at me. I put her in his arms and kiss his cheek. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Bacon and eggs," he says while he makes goofy faces at our daughter. I laugh.

"Mommy, I hungwy," Tyler says as he comes down the stairs.

"Why don't you come here," I say. He runs to me, and I scoop him up and kiss his cheek. "I'm going to sit you right here, and I'll get you some milk. Breakfast shouldn't take me too long." I put him in his seat and get a sippy cup out of the refrigerator for him then I get busy making breakfast.

"Something smells wonderful," Tobias says from right behind me as I plate up our crispy bacon, fluffy scrambled eggs, buttery wheat toast, and juicy slices of orange.

"Thank you," I say. "I hope everything tastes as good as it smells."

"I'm sure it will," he says putting Tyler's plate in front of him.

"Hey, have you heard from my mom this morning?" I ask.

"She hasn't called but I haven't checked for messages yet," he says. He drags his phone out of his pocket and frowns. "No, she hasn't left any messages either."

"Hhm," I say, my forkful of eggs hovering in front of my mouth, worry picking at my mind. "Will you call her for me and let me know what time Dad's procedure is?"

"Sure," he says.

"Eggs good, Mommy," Tyler says with his mouth full.

"Tyler, honey, it isn't polite to talk with your mouth full," I say. He stares at me and frowns a bit. I find myself holding my breath waiting to see if he will burst into tears or not but instead he smiles brightly up at me.

"Okay, Mommy," he says. _Ah, progress_.

"Thank you, buddy," I say.

"Who the hell is this?" Tobias bellows into the phone making Tyler, Tessa, and me all jump at the same time. I watch in horror as all the blood drains from his face, and I drop my fork with a clatter onto my nearly full plate. Tears fill Tyler's frightened eyes, and Tessa starts a dreadful wail. I spring to my feet and take her out of her swing, holding her to me tightly and return to my seat and wrap an arm around Tyler trying to comfort him. Tobias, who is still on the phone, turns to look at me with grave eyes, and I know something is terribly wrong but what could it be? Is it Dad? Did he not make it through the night? Or is something wrong with Caleb? Did he have an unforeseeable complication and now he's gone forever? I have to make myself stop with the errant thoughts. They aren't doing me or the baby any good. "No, that is _not_ going to happen." He gasps. "Fine, where do you want to meet?" He's silent for a moment, and I'm suddenly smacked in the face with the realization that this has something to do with Maria but I still don't understand. He hangs up his phone and puts it down on the island. He looks around momentarily like he's lost and doesn't know how to find himself. He runs his hands nervously through his hair then crosses the floor to me.

"What's happening, Tobias?" I ask, voice weak, my throat dry and scratchy. I see him swallow like he's feeling the same way I am.

"Tris," he slowly says. So much is going through my mind right now that I think I'm going to explode from the anticipation. Oh God, what is he going to say? Surely it can't be as bad as I think it is.

" _Tell me,_ " I implore.

"Maria has your mom," he says, the words rushing from his lips. I close my eyes trying to escape the implications of what he just said. I was wrong, it's _worse_ than I thought.


	86. Chapter 86

_No! No! No!_ There's _no_ way I just heard what I think he said, _right_? My mom is safe and sound at the hospital, sitting by Dad's hospital bed waiting for his delicate procedure to begin, holding the hand of the man she loves. She isn't somewhere in the city, lost, scared, alone, and at the mercy of some madwoman who has an imaginary vendetta against me and my family. Tobias seems to thaw from where he had frozen into place and wraps his protective arms around the three of us, holding us suffocatingly close.

"How … how do you know?" I ask, finally regaining my ability to speak. He releases us and sits down on the barstool right in front of us, our knees touching comfortingly.

"I called your mom's phone to check on your dad's procedure time," he says. He keeps nervously glancing down at Tyler who looks like he's on the verge of a meltdown. I wrap my arm a little tighter around him. Tobias adds nearly inaudibly, "Maria answered." I gasp. This can't be happening. How? How did this happen?

"Tyler, baby, why don't you get a toy and play on the landing?" I say. He shakes his head, a vehement no. How am I supposed to keep my kids safe and go help my mom? I hold him a little closer still and kiss the top of his head. "What did she say?"

"She wants us to meet her at the big old apartment building across from the Navy Pier," he says being careful with his words. I know he's trying not to further panic our son but I think he's trying not to upset me anymore than I already am. "She said for us to come alone." I narrow my eyes at him. It feels like he's not telling me everything.

"We need to call Tori, Will, and Harrison," I say. "They need to know about this."

"We can't, love," he says. I'm right, he's not telling me everything. "She's given us two hours to get there."

"Tyler, buddy, I need you to go to Tessa's room and grab the diaper bag for Mommy, okay? You and Tessa are going to daycare today. You can play with Zane," I say trying to be upbeat and positive for him. He turns his fearful eyes to mine, and I think he's going to argue but he doesn't. I help him out of his seat and sit him on his feet, and he runs toward the stairs. I turn toward Tobias and ask in a whisper, "What aren't you telling me?"

"She threatened your mom if we don't make it on time, if we tell anyone, and if we don't come alone," he quickly says. "She said she would know. _How_? I have no idea. Maybe there's another player we don't know about."

"Threaten?" The word nearly chokes me. "You mean _kill her_ , right? That bitch threatened my mother's life?" I stand, clutching Tessa tightly to my chest and start pacing. I understand what Tobias meant by seeing red yesterday morning. I'm seething with fury. If Maria Burke was standing in front of me right now, I would happily kill her with my bare hands and not think twice about it. I know that it's the Dauntless in me talking but I'm pissed. First, she threatened my kids and now my mother. Oh, she's going down. "Tobias, she's sneaky. How do we know without a doubt that she even has my mom?"

"She lets your mom talk to me," he says. "Natalie said she was okay but then Maria took the phone back. She didn't sound like she'd been hurt. She just sounded scared. I'm sorry, Tris."

"I thought someone was supposed to be watching her?" I wail. "How do we know Dad and Caleb are safe or Cara or any of our friends for that matter?" Tobias runs his hand across his face exasperatedly.

"I don't know how she got her," he says. "Heads will roll for this, Tris. I promise."

"What are we going to do?" I ask.

"She said that she'll know if we stray from her plan," he says, "and that she'll kill Natalie. I don't think we should take any unnecessary chances. I tried to tell her that I would come alone but she wouldn't hear of it. She insisted that you come with me. If you want your Mom back we need to pacify her, see what it is she truly wants."

"We need guns," I say. A horrified look crosses his face but he quickly controls it.

"She said no weapons," he says. I groan. No, she can't write all the rules. This is _my_ life she's playing with. I thrust Tessa into Tobias' arms, and he gives me a quizzing look. I give him a quick, hard, passionate kiss on the mouth.

"I need you to trust me," I say. "I'll be right back." I turn and run out the door and down the hallway trying to ignore the shouts and cries from Tobias, Tyler, and Tessa. I walk as fast as I can without drawing unnecessary attention to myself all the way to the training room. I'm surprised to find it deserted at this time of day but it helps me relax. It means no witnesses. I search through the weapons locker for what I'm looking for and tuck it discretely in the inside of my left boot. No one will ever know it's there … unless she frisks me then we're _all_ in trouble. I lock the locker and head back to the apartment. When I turn the corner onto the path, I run right into Purple-Hair.

"God, Simon, you scared me," I say holding my hand over my chest. He furrows his purple brows at me and looks around. Shit! He's going to know something's up since I'm alone.

"Where's Four, Tris?" he asks.

"He's at home with the kids," I say. "I was just in the training room. We were in there earlier, and I thought we forgot to lock the weapons back up. Thankfully, I was wrong. We had locked it."

"Oh," he says. I can't tell if he's going to buy my story or not. "Shall I walk you home? Four doesn't want you walking around the compound by yourself right now with Maria on the loose. I'm surprised he didn't call Tony or me to have you escorted."

"We didn't want to bother you with such a short impromptu trip," I say.

"I'll still walk you home," he says. "Better safe than sorry, Tris." I nod my head at him, and we briskly walk back to the apartment. When I walk through the door, Tobias looks like he's going to yell until he sees Purple-Hair, and then his expression becomes bewildered.

"Simon, will you please come in?" I ask and he steps into the living room. "Four and I have some business to attend to today. We won't need you looking after us but we do need you and Tony to watch the kids." His eyes nearly bug out of his head, and he slowly starts shaking his head back and forth. I can't help myself, the look on his face makes me laugh. "I'm not asking you to babysit them, just watch _over_ them. They'll be in the daycare center until 6 p.m. If we don't pick them up they'll go home with Stella and Avery Parrish. I want you standing guard, making sure that no one gets their hands on my children."

"Of course, Tris," he says. "I'll call Tony and have him meet me in the Pit. What time?"

"As soon as you can," Tobias says. He puts Tessa back in my arms and quietly says, "We'll talk about what you did later. Right now your daughter is hungry."

"Okay," I say. I take Tyler's hand and lead him upstairs. I tell him to get a book or a toy and come into Tessa's room so I can feed his sister. He brings his favorite fire engine and dump truck and moves them noiselessly at my feet. I put Tessa to my breast and realize it's far too soon to be feeding her but she latches on easily and suckles strongly. It's like a light bulb goes off over my head. My poor darling little girl is a stress eater. How is that possible? She's only seven weeks old … today. "Happy seven week birthday, little one. Mommy loves you." I caress her head and she moves her eyes to mine and smiles at me around my nipple before suckling again.

"It Tess biwthday?" Tyler asks looking confused.

"Kind of," I say, smiling at my boy. "She was born seven weeks ago _today_. Can you believe it? You've had a baby sister for seven whole weeks." It's hard to believe myself. So much has changed in such a short amount of time and today it could all come to an end. _No!_ I must not allow myself to think that way. Today's the day we put this mess to rest, and I'll be home tonight to breastfeed my daughter, tuck in my son, and make love to my husband. I'll make sure of it.

"Is everything okay in here?" Tobias asks from the doorway. I meet his eyes, and I can tell he's still upset with me. I sigh. He probably has a right to be.

"It Tess biwthday," Tyler says, running to Tobias who scoops him up in his arms.

"Birthday?" he asks.

"She's seven weeks old today," I say. I straighten my camisole and put Tessa up to my shoulder to burp.

"Well happy birthday, Pebbles," he says.

"Pebbles?" I say.

"Pebbles Flintstone from Tyler's cartoons." I quickly run through all the cartoons I've watched with him and an image of a red-haired baby with a ponytail on top of her head comes to mind. I turn my head and look at Tessa, a huge smile on my face.

"Yeah, I can see it," I say.

"Are you ready to go?" he asks. I get up and meet him at the door, his eyes following me the entire way. When I'm by his side, he softly asks, "Where did you go?"

"Do you really want to know?" I ask. "If you do, I'll tell you." His hands move around my waist, and I gasp at his sudden touch.

"No weapon, good," he says.

"I wouldn't do anything to put any of us in jeopardy, Tobias," I say. "I promise." He stares down at me silently for a full minute. My heart starts to thump wildly in my chest, and I find myself holding my breath. I hate lying to him but we need a weapon. I just hope that Maria doesn't find it.

"Okay," he says. "Let's go." We quickly make our way to the daycare center followed closely by Purple-Hair.

"You be a good boy and look after your sister," I tell Tyler then give him a big hug. "Mommy and Daddy will try to pick you up later. If we can't make it, Stella and Avery will pick you up and take you to their apartment. Okay?"

"Otay," he says.

"Tyler!" Zane yells and comes running over.

"Zane!" Tyler hugs his best friend, and they toddle off to play.

"There should be enough bottles in here to feed Tessa whenever she's hungry," I say to the dark-haired woman holding her as I give her the diaper bag. "She's stressed today, which makes her nurse more often." I kiss Tessa's head and wave at Tyler.

"You be good, Pebbles," Tobias says kissing Tessa's head. "Buddy!" Tyler comes running over, and Tobias scoops him up and hugs him tightly. He wriggles out of Tobias' arms after a moment and reaches for me. I take him, and he gives me one of his signature bear hugs and a big wet kiss then promptly wants down.

"I love you, Tyler Aaron Eaton. You be a good boy." I set him on his feet and watch him run back to his friend, the entire time fighting an overwhelming urge to curl up in a ball in the corner and sob. I've got to remain strong for my mom, for my kids, for my husband, for Dauntless, and for myself. Tobias takes me by the hand, and we hurry across the floor of the Pit to the path and up to the garage.

"How are we doing on time?" I ask as we speed to our destination.

"We'll get there on time," he says. "As long as there's a working elevator, that is. We have to meet her on the 70th floor in what used to be a swanky restaurant back in the day."

"How does she know about this place?" I ask.

"Didn't someone say that Maria and Nicole liked to explore?" he murmurs. "Not a lot of people have the guts to go exploring around the city. It can be dangerous. I think the faction leaders frown upon it. Well Marcus always did." I never thought about exploring so I have no idea what Mom and Dad's views on the subject are.

"Do you think I could call and check on Dad?" I ask.

"I'd love to tell you yes," he says. "I'd like to know how he's doing but what's your explanation going to be for not being there and where your mom is at."

"You're right, Tobias," I say. "What's our plan when we get there?"

"I don't have a plan, Tris," he says. "Everything that you wanted to do – call the others, get weapons, check the hospital – I considered myself. We're a lot alike. You have to admit that." He looks at me with a ghost of a smile on his lips. It doesn't quite meet his eyes. I nod at him. He reaches over and stills my bouncing knee.

"I'm scared," I whisper taking his hand.

"I know," he says. "So am I."

"I've been scared before but never like this," I say. "I can't lose my mom." We pull into the gravel parking lot across from the Navy Pier and get out of the car. We've arrived in good time. We still have half-an-hour to reach the 70th floor of the rundown skyscraper in front of us. Hopefully there's a working elevator or we're screwed. He takes my hand and drags me across the dead grass, through the crumbled and disintegrated concrete of the rotunda, and leads me up to the front door. I'm surprised someone hasn't taken the time to refurbish this building. It's all glass and steel like the new construction in the city but with a fluid and flowing triangular shape to it. It must have been grand when it was new. We rush into the lobby, which has a crumbling expanse of black marble floor and faded, cracked pale natural stone walls. We look around the relatively empty space and find several banks of elevators. Tobias' phones sounds, and he drags it out of his pocket.

"It's her," he says.

"Does she know we're here?" I ask as I look around for any indication of surveillance cameras but don't see anything that stands out. He hits the speakerphone, and I listen with bated breath.

"You'll find one working elevator," she cheerfully says. "Take it to 68. Cross the hallway and take it to 70. See you soon." The phone goes silent, and I meet Tobias' eyes.

"Is it just me or does she sound _way_ too happy?" I ask.

"Tris, love, _please_ be careful," he says. His eyes are full of concern, dread, and love. He gently places his hands on either side of my face, stares deeply into my eyes for what seems like a lifetime but in reality must only be a few seconds, and slowly lowers his parted lips to mine. His kiss is fierce, searching, voracious, overwhelming. We meld our bodies to each other, trying to become one. I finally realize he's kissing me like he thinks he's never going to kiss me ever again. When he releases me from our intimate embrace he wipes the tear that escaped from the corner of my eye. "I love you." His voice is thick, gravelly.

"I love you," I say, my voice breathy yet rough. "Everything will work out today. Don't think otherwise, Tobias." He squeezes my hand, then we hit all the up buttons on the elevators. One finally opens, and we step inside the dark, enclosed space. Tobias and I nervously glance at each other as he hits the faded 68 button. The doors slowly close, and the elevator lurches, and quickly caries us up. This must be torture for him. I run my thumb lightly across the side of his hand trying to make him forget his fear. Sooner than I think possible, the car comes to a sudden stop, and Tobias automatically steps in front of me. The doors squeak open, and I find myself holding my breath but no one is waiting to ambush us. .

We cautiously exit the elevator – my eyes hastily scanning our surroundings, looking for danger – cross the dark, dank, foul-smelling hallway, and hit the up button on the second elevator. The doors slide open with a groan, and we step into the desolate car. He hits the up button, and it expresses us up two floors then comes to a screeching halt. I watch the doors slide open like it's happening in slow motion, my heart pounding painfully in my chest. Tobias pulls me out into the cavernous shell of a room that has curved, glass walls made of large window panes, his body in front of mine in a protective stance. What obviously were once polished concrete floors are now stained, blemished, cracked, and fragmented. Parts of them don't look safe to stand on. I look left then right but only see demolished remnants of walls that once stood tall and proud partitioning this space into obvious rooms. There's no sign of Maria or my mother.

"It's about time you two showed up," Maria say, startling me. I turn a full circle looking for where her voice is coming from but it's bouncing around the sprawling area, seeming to come from all sides at once. I drop Tobias' hand, and we slowly but determinedly walk to our right, and then I see her, well the top half of her anyway. "Natalie was getting worried that she didn't mean that much to you, Tris. What took you so long?"

"The elevators are slow, Maria but I'm sure you know that," I say, my voice a little higher than I would like, betraying my stress. I take a couple calming breaths before I continue. "Where's my mom? We're leaving if you can't show her to me." My heart pounds in my ears hoping she hasn't done anything to harm my beloved mother.

"She's over here right by me." She looks down. "She's been keeping me company," she says. I slowly move around the broken-down half-wall and see my mom sitting on the floor, her hands tied behind her back, her feet tied in front of her, and a gag in her mouth. My eyes slide up her body looking for injuries, and I gasp when I see that Maria has a gun to her left temple. "Nice to see you again, Tris. You look well rested, better than you did yesterday. So ... how are the kids?"

"Don't you _dare_ talk to me about my kids," I say through clenched teeth. Tobias glances my way with a stern warning look. _Don't antagonize her, Tris,_ I can hear him say. "Mom, are you okay?" She nods once but I can see terror in her eyes. "What do you want, Maria? This has to end ... _today_."

"Oh, it will," she says tossing her reddish-colored chestnut hair over her shoulder. "All you have to do is admit you killed my best friend and accept your punishment. Nicki deserved _so_ much better." I stare at her thoughts jumbled in my mind.

"Um ... what in the _hell_ are you talking about?" I say unable to stop the chuckle from ripping from my mouth. This woman is bat shit crazy. She swings the gun up and points it at me. I freeze.

"Are you _laughing_ at me?" she hisses. Oh, I think I've finally figured it out, she's bipolar. Happy as a clam one minute, a raving lunatic the next. Tobias puts his hands out in front of him, like he's telling her to calm down and moves a couple steps toward her then away from me closer to the windows. When he moves, she unknowingly trains the gun on him.

"Why don't you put the gun down, Maria, and we can talk about this," he says, his Four mask firmly in place. She moves as he does. "Nicole's father confirmed that she committed suicide. Tris didn't have anything to do with it. She didn't even know Nicole."

"Tris _killed_ Nicole," Maria spits. "I should know, I was there when she did it." I gasp. What the hell is she talking about? I did no such a thing.

"Tell me about it then," Tobias says, taking another small step away from me. She turns her body mirroring his movements and suddenly lowers her hands. "Tell me what happened, Maria. If Tris did something wrong, I'll make sure she's punished for it." I can't help my sharp intake of breath. His eyes flicker to mine with yet another warning. I understand what he's trying to do but his words are painful.

"She loved you, you know," Maria softly says, choking up a little but she clears her throat trying not to show any weakness. _Typical Dauntless_. "You broke her heart, Four." I can see the confusion on his face as his mask slips for a split second. Unless he lied to me about the extent of his relationship with Nicole, he has no idea what Maria is talking about.

"She loved me?" he quietly asks, perplexed. "That … that can't be right. We had one disastrous date."

"Don't you think I know my best friend?" she yells. "She was so happy until _her_." She waves the gun in my direction again.

"How did Tris kill her?" he asks putting the focus back on himself. I look toward Mom, and I see her inching away from Maria while she's got her attention focused on Tobias. "Why don't you tell me? Then I'll arrest her, and we can all take her to Candor. She'll be punished for what she did. I promise." I can't help myself and my chin nearly hits the floor at his words.

"She kissed you the night the rankings were announced right in the middle of the cafeteria for everyone to see," she says in that frightening sing-song voice I heard yesterday. "She might as well have put a bullet through Nicki's heart." Is that what I did, _kiss my boyfriend_? Oh, that can't be what this is about ... can it?

"I didn't know that Nicole had feeling for me," Tobias says. "She never told me. If I had known I never would have been with Tris." I know what he's doing but _damn_ that hurt. He's basically giving voice to my inner doubts, that if someone else, _anyone else_ would have wanted him then I wouldn't have stood a chance. I know it's not true, he's told me time and time again that I'm the only one he's ever loved but hearing him speak the words out loud make them real for me. "Nicole was a beautiful, sensual woman. Tris was just a child ... a distraction. Had I known how Nicole felt, I would have been with her. She was special." Please, God, make him stop. He's ripping my still beating heart out of my chest and stomping on it.

"You saw it too?" she asks in a little girls' voice. Oh, this woman has problems. We'll be lucky to get out of this situation alive. I try to look around the vast space to formulate a plan but there's no real place to hide. There's too much open space.

"Of course I saw it," he tenderly says, taking another tentative step toward her. I see her arm twitch in his direction but she keeps it hanging at her side, the pistol gripped firmly in her hand. "I made a mistake the night I met Nicole. I was trying to act nonchalant but the truth is I'd never been on a date and her beauty both inside and out intimidated me. She misunderstood what I said and she ran off. Had I know how she felt, I would have run after her." Maria's face softens then changes.

"You're lying," she says. Tobias stiffens, stands taller. The movement is small but I notice it. I know his body so well. "You never loved her. But I'll admit you really had me going there for a moment. You couldn't wait to get away from Nicki that night so you could run off with that bitch Shauna. She's _next_ on my list." _What_?

"Shauna is just my friend," he says. "She's only ever been my friend."

"What about her?" she says pointing my way with the gun again.

"What about her?" he asks. I can hear his heartache in his voice. I hope she can't.

"Tell me you don't love her. Tell me you never loved her, that you only used her. Promise to never see her again, and I'll let her and her mother go," she says. "Don't and I'm going to kill them both right her, right now." I swallow past the lump in my throat. _Beatrice Grace Eaton, don't you_ dare _cry_. You have to be strong for him. He squares his shoulders and looks my way. His eyes are so cold. I know he's trying to save my life and that of my mother's but I'd rather he not say what I know he's about ready to tell me

"I never loved you. It was only ever about sex for me and lucky for me you gave it up easily. I liked that. As a matter of fact you were the easiest of all the girls I've bedded. Then of course I accidently knocked you up. I thought it was best to marry you but it's never been about love," he scoffs or should I say _Four_ scoffs. I can't help it. Unbidden tears flow freely down my face and a sob escapes my chest. I know he doesn't mean a word he's saying but how is it that he keeps touching on my deepest insecurities? When he sees my tears, pain flashes across his face for just an instant.

"I've had enough of your lies," Maria says her voice soft, low, deadly, and she raises the gun at Tobias and fires.


	87. Chapter 87

With lightning fast reflexes I didn't know I possess, I drop to my knee, gracefully grab the throwing blade that's hidden in the inside of my left boot, and hurl it at Maria. It hits her square in the hand holding the gun, making it move from its aim. The bullet whizzes by Tobias' head, only missing him by millimeters, and shatters the fragile glass of the ancient window directly behind him. A look of panic crosses his face as he sprints away from it, and I can feel it, the pull of the air rushing through the shattered glass.

Maria holds her injured hand against her chest while she stares at me open mouthed, obviously in shock. She apparently didn't think I had it in me to protect myself and those I love and fight back. I notice the sun spark off the steel gun lying not six feet in front of me at the exact same time she does. We both dive for the weapon while Tobias gazes on, a look of horror on his shocked, frozen face, trying to gain control of the situation but instead of either of us getting our hands on it, the gun glances off my fingertips and slides away from both of us across the cracked, broken floor toward the damaged window and its sucking vortex. We both stare at the pistol, neither willing to risk our life to go get it. Tobias slowly pulls me to my feet and into the protective circle of his arms.

"Are you okay?" I quietly ask. He nods, his eyes scorching into mine. I take a cleansing breath then scan the floor behind where Maria was standing when she fired a shot at the man I love looking for the knife but don't see it anywhere. Where could it have gone?

"Well aren't you a sneaky one, Tris," she finally says, disapproval thick in her voice. I hear something else, something I can't quite pinpoint there also but it's faint. She drags herself to her feet holding her injured arm against her chest once again, blood slowly dripping to the floor. "I told Four _no weapons_." I have to keep myself from laughing at her scowl.

"Did you really think we would come here empty handed, lamb to slaughter?" I ask, disbelief plain in my hard voice. Tobias stiffens behind me. I wonder momentarily if he's upset with me that I broke her insane request. I quickly shake it off because he'd be dead right now if I hadn't. "I'm not going to let you hurt me and my family any more than you already have, Maria. I still don't understand why you're doing this. You're acting crazy. I had _nothing_ to do with Nicole's death. I. Didn't. _Know._ Her."

"She loved _him_ , and you stole him away from her," she spits, her eyes darting to the gun again and again. Part of me wants her to go for it. The suction might carry her right out the shattered window, and this would be over in a split second. I can't find my usual Abnegation empathy for her. She's a monster. She may have been made this way by her best friend's death but she's a monster nonetheless.

"I want you to listen to me, and I want you to listen good," Tobias says finally finding his voice. He releases me from his embrace and maneuvers himself in front of me again, wagging his finger at her like she's a two year old. I can feel how tense he is. "I barely knew your friend. I'm sorry she hurt herself but it isn't my fault, and it certainly isn't Tris' fault. Zeke set us up on one blind date that ended in less than five minutes. I said something that offended her then something else that made it even worse, and _she_ _stormed_ _off_. _That_ is the extent of our relationship. I didn't know her. I have a hard time believing she developed any feelings for me whatsoever other than distaste let alone that she fell in love with me and then committed suicide because I found someone I love more than life itself and who I can share my life and be happy with. Nicole wasn't that person or I'm sure our date would have went better."

"Well, she _was_ deeply in love with you, Four. All she did was talk about you. You can ask anyone who knew her well. She was just scared to tell you how she felt. You have always been so closed off. I encouraged her to talk to you, tell you how she felt but she wouldn't listen," Maria says with a wistful look on her face but then her expression turns ice cold. "Then she saw you approach _Tris_ ," my name sounds like an expletive on her lips, "tap her on the shoulder, and Tris turn around and kiss you in the middle of the cafeteria like she had the right to." How could the beginning of such a wonderful time in my life be the beginning of a downward spiral for so many others? "Oh and Tris _did_ meet Nicki. Nicki talked to her that very night. She wanted to meet the person who stole her dreams away. She killed herself not two hours later." I take an involuntary step backward. I _met_ her? I've seen her picture. She doesn't look familiar to me at all. Even being told I talked to her does nothing to jog my memory. "You see, Tris took Nicole's biggest dream so I've made it my mission in life to make sure that Tris' life is one long nightmare."

"It doesn't matter anymore," Tobias yells. "It's over. I'm taking you into custody this instant." He takes a couple slow, calculated steps toward Maria, worried that she might have another weapon she's not yet brandished.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Four," Erin says from behind us. I turn to see her stepping out from behind the protection of the elevator wall holding a gun in front of her with a slightly trembling hand. I know my face must fall. I thought this was over. "Are you okay, Maria?"

"What the _hell_ took you so long?" she spits. Movement catches my eye again, and Dr. Young walks up behind us so that we're now surrounded. He's got a handgun also. This isn't good. I hang my head for a moment trying to gather my scattered thoughts.

"Please let my mom go," I plead, looking at each of them in turn. "She has absolutely nothing to do with this. My dad is sick. He needs her."

" _No_ ," Maria nearly screams. "You have to pay for what you did, Tris. You have to hurt like we do."

"You think I'm not hurting?" I ask exasperatedly. "I _am_ hurting. You nearly killed my father … _twice_ ; you wanted to kill _me_ ; you killed a very good family friend; you landed my brother in the hospital with two bullets in his shoulder; you drugged Four; you assaulted and drugged Will, Zeke, and Shauna; you've made the bar and nightclub unsafe for all men; and you helped Peter and my father-in-law with my kidnapping and rape. Don't you think I've suffered enough?" The argument sounds weak even to my ears but I had to try.

"Your pain hasn't begun yet, bitch," Maria spits. I take a tentative step toward the gun, feeling the pull from the open window. _Be brave._ I hear Tobias' words echoing loudly in my head. Our only shot at making it out of this alive is for me to get my hands on that gun and not go out the window in the process. I catch Tobias' eyes and look toward the gun quickly then back to him pleading silently for him to understand. He narrows his eyes at me, obviously not liking my plan. I raise my brows and see him acquiesce, and he nods almost imperceptibly. He takes a step toward Maria.

"Maria," Tobias boldly says. Everyone looks his way, and I take another tentative step toward the gun. "Why are you doing this? I still don't understand." Maria sighs loudly.

"You left my sister," Erin says in that grating nasally voice that hurts my ears. I stop in my tracks and stare open mouthed at her. What the hell is she saying? Left her?

"Shut up, Erin," Maria spits.

"I never left your sister," Tobias says bewildered once again. "If anything, she left me." Erin and Dr. Young gape at him.

"I've told you two all you need to know," Maria says, her mood shifting to breezy again. I can't hide the bemused look on my face as I scratch my head in confusion.

"Dr. Young, Erin, what _exactly_ has Maria told you?" I ask.

" _Shut up!_ " Maria commands. I see Erin and her fiancé exchange a puzzled look. Right now confusion seems to be the dominate emotion in this massive room. She walks straight to Erin, anger evident in her frame. "Don't listen to Tris. She'll mess with your mind. You know what happened to Nicole. You know what Tris did."

"I. Didn't. Do. _Anything_ ," I yell absolutely infuriated. I close my eyes and take one calming breath, thinking of Peanut. When I open my eyes I notice Dr. Young stand a little straighter while he stares at me, and he lowers his weapon.

"Four, did you date Nicole?" he asks.

"I had _one_ date with Nicole," Tobias says. "One very bad date." Dr. Young throws his head back in obvious frustration and stares at the ceiling.

" _No! No! No! NO! NO! NO!_ " Erin mutters. "Oh, this can't be happening. _What in the hell have you_ done, _Maria_?"

"Someone please tell me what's going on," I say.

"Nicole talked about you all the time, Four, very fondly," Erin says, her voice weak, ignoring me completely. "She told me that you two were taking things slowly and waiting for the right time to go public with your relationship because underneath your rough, hard exterior you are a very sensitive man." How could Nicole possibly have known that? "Then the night the rankings were revealed, Nicole, Maria, and I watched as Tris kissed you in the cafeteria. It knocked Nicole's world off its axis. She was _devastated_. I've never seen her like that before. She wouldn't talk to me. I didn't understand what was going on. She killed herself that night. Maria told us you left Nicole for Tris. That's why I've been so angry."

"Erin, with the exception of a five minute conversation that didn't go well, I didn't know your sister," Tobias says sounding like himself for the first time since we were summoned to this bizarre meeting. "I've only ever loved one woman in my life and right now you're holding a gun on her. I'd appreciate it if you would lower your weapon." Erin slowly lowers her arm but doesn't move her finger from the trigger of the pistol. She looks over at Dr. Young with such pain and yearning on her face.

"Tracy, what have we done?" she says to him.

"It'll be alright, Erin," he says.

"You know that isn't true," she says, agony in her voice. "We helped kill people."

" _Shut up_ , damn it," Maria spits. Tobias steps to my side again, and we move closer to my mother. We both can see where this is going. Mom quietly clears her throat, and I see that she's no longer tied up. I furrow my brows questioningly at her, and she shifts her body slightly revealing the knife tucked under her leg. She's had it all this time. I give her a slight nod but no one notices our exchange. Maria and her accomplices are too busy staring each other down. I grip Tobias' hand tightly and feel myself calm marginally. When he looks into my eyes, I glimpse down at my mom. He glances at her also and sees she's no longer bound and that she has control of the knife. He looks back at me and nods.

"Let me get this straight," Dr. Young says, his steely eyed, hard gaze trained on Maria. "Four never dated Nicole? She lied to us for a year? _You_ lied to us? You had us hurt people, _kill_ people? What the hell were you _thinking_ , Maria? What the hell was _I_ thinking? I can't believe you manipulated us this way. Oh my God, I thought I was smarter than this. This is over ... _right now_."

"You will _not_ tell me what to do. This is only over when _I_ say it is," Maria screams at him then turns her attention to us. "Nicole loved Four. She had her whole future planned out. She was just waiting, biding her time. Then _you_ joined Dauntless and everything went to hell." She narrows her eyes at me and gives me a menacing look. "The look on her face when you kissed him." She shakes her head at the memory. "It shattered her. I could see what was coming. I tried to stop her. I tried to tell her everything would be okay but ... she ... wouldn't ... _listen_." I see tears gather in her green eyes, and I can't help myself. For all the pain and suffering she's caused, I finally feel an ounce of sympathy for her. She truly is in pain. "She squirmed out of my arms and jumped right into the chasm. _That_ is how much you hurt her, Tris, so I made it my mission in life to hurt you.

"First, I started drugging all the married morons in the bar who came on to me and took their money as compensation for pain and suffering. You would be surprised how many there have been this past year. I'd say the count is near 100." Her eyes flick to Tobias. "Can't you damn men keep it in your pants. I wasn't going to let another one of you treat a woman the way that Nicki was treated.

"Second, I sent Erudite all those anonymous reports about your dad's wrongdoings, Tris, but they obviously didn't care. They didn't do a damn thing about the allegations so I was only left with one choice. I had to act. I sent Tracy and Wesley to rough your dad up. It worked out better than I thought it would when _two_ others got blamed for our actions. Too bad that this _damn_ city always feels the need to put everyone under truth serum. I wouldn't have had to tip my hand so soon if they didn't. You wouldn't even know about me yet.

"But my favorite part of this was helping that idiot, Hayes. He had it bad for you, did you know that? He would sit a couple tables away in the cafeteria and moon over you. It was disgusting. I decided to strike up a conversation. I introduced myself as Nicki, an old friend of Four's. It didn't take him very long to open up to me. Oh, how he hated you, Four. You had the one thing that he really wanted ... _why_ , I have no idea. Well I decided to help him get what he wanted and get it, he did." Her cold, evil laugh sends a shiver of trepidation down my spine. "So tell me, Tris, who's better in bed, Four or Peter?" I hear my mom gasp behind her gag. My eyes fly toward her but she's not looking my way. She is shooting daggers at Maria.

"You are one fucked up bitch," Four says, his voice low, ice cold, and sounding dangerous. "Nothing about what happened between Tris and Peter was consensual. He hurt her, physically and emotionally. I thought he was the lowest piece of shit there was in this city but now I know I was wrong. _You_ are. Thanks for killing him by the way. You saved me the trouble of doing it myself."

"Oh, that was my pleasure or should I say Tracy and Wesley's pleasure," she says.

" _Maria_!" Dr. Young gasps. " _Shut_ _up_!"

"Don't worry, Tracy," she says happily. "They aren't going to make it out of here alive so it doesn't hurt to tell them the whole story." She looks back at us with a malicious smirk and I want to cower in fear but I hold my head high. _Please, please, please let me see my babies tonight_. "I gave the orders to kill that sniveling Peter, and they were happy to comply."

"Tell me how you got it done" Tobias says. "And why frame me?"

"I got the idea the night you were in the bar looking so _pathetic_ ... almost crying into your whiskey. It really was a pitiful sight. I mean you're supposed to be the big, bad, strong _Four_ and there you were sniveling like a child." She cocks her head to one side and tsks at him with disapproval. "I was going to distract you after you had a couple shots but you never ... took ... a ... drink. You never _talked_ to anyone else. You just sat there, stoic, _lifeless_ , and stared at that damn glass for hours. You finally pushed it away and walked out the door. I caught up to you in a dark hallway and injected the drug behind your ear. You tried to fight me but it's a fast-acting cocktail. You didn't stand a chance. I scratched you during our little tussle, and Tracy took that DNA and put it under Peter's fingernails for Dr. Parrish to find.

"The next morning I was monitoring the control room when you came in. You didn't look very happy. I knew that was my time to strike. I cloned your phone the night before so I sent a text from your number to the guard watching Peter. He had no idea it wasn't you reassigning him. I watched from the safety of my office while Tracy held Peter while Wesley strangled the life out of him then I erased the footage so no one would know who really had been there. I followed your movements on the surveillance cameras but lost you when you were in the Pit. I still have no idea where you went. Right about the time I saw Peter's body being discovered I saw you on the path heading up to your office. It was perfect timing. I couldn't have planned it better myself." I stare at her. I was wrong earlier about her being bipolar, she's fucking insane.

"Maria, this has gone on long enough," Dr. Young says, his voice calming, soothing. He's trying to pacify her, probably because he's come to the same conclusion I have, she's crazy. Maria slowly turns her head at him, eyes narrowed, her steady, hard gaze looking like that of a coiled rattlesnake waiting to strike its prey. Suddenly and without warning she moves her attention to Erin. She punches her once in the throat causing Erin to stumble back, her hands automatically grasping her neck after releasing her hold on the gun, which clatters ominously to the cracked concrete at Maria's feet. In the same smooth, deadly movement, Maria picks up the pistol, aims it at Erin, and fires at her best friend's sister. Dr. Young raises his weapon, sets his sights on Maria, and fires hitting her in the neck.

I freeze as the carnage around me unfolds. My ears are ringing, my vision seems fuzzy around the edges, and my body starts to shake uncontrollably. I can't help but wonder why I'm reacting this way. I was so brave at the council meeting shooting last week but now I'm frozen with fear watching everything unfold like it's happening in one of Tobias' favorite action movies and not right in front of me.

While no one is paying any attention to us, Mom quickly tosses the knife to Tobias, and he hurriedly puts it in his back pocket and pulls his long skintight t-shirt down to cover it. Then I watch in bewildered horror as Mom scrambles to her feet and, Abnegation as ever, takes her outer shirt off over her head and presses it to Maria's neck, putting pressure on the gushing wound while Dr. Young drops to his knees to tend to Erin's head wound. I see Mom reach up with trembling hands and put two fingers on Maria's pulse point then sit back on her heels. She turns her gaze to us and shakes her head. Shit, Maria's dead. She wipes her bloody hands on her long skirt and gets to her feet. Dr. Young looks our way, picks up the gun that killed Maria, and gets to his feet. I see Erin's eyes flutter closed. Oh, no. Did she die too? I search Dr. Young's face for the answer to that question but he's not betraying how he's feeling right now.

"I'm sorry but I can't let you leave," he says, grief evident in his voice. "Not now." His words unfreeze me and I know that I have to do something to stop this once and for all. I take a step so that most of my body is concealed behind Tobias' like I'm hiding, scared but I very carefully lift my hand and place it on the knife in Tobias' back pocket and ease it out, gripping it tightly in my left hand. "You've seen too much, heard too much. She shouldn't have been so cocky and told you everything."

"You don't have to do this," Tobias says putting his hands out in front of him, trying to get the doctor to think about what he's doing. "We have the whole story now. Yes, you are in trouble but maybe the city will go easy on you." We all know that will never happen. At the very least, he will be sentenced to death for his part in Peter's death even though, in my opinion, he deserved what he got.

"Yes, yes I do," he says. "I'm sorry." He pauses for a moment before lifting the gun and pointing it at my mother. "Is Maria dead?"

"Yes, I'm afraid that she is," Mom says, her voice steady, strong. I ease out from behind Tobias and balance the knife in my hand, readying myself to throw when movement distracts Dr. Young. As he turns to look at whatever is making the noise, he moves the gun away from my mom, and accidentally pulls the trigger. A loud echoing crack once again sounds throughout the massive space, and a deep burning pain shoots through my right upper arm. _Sonofabitch_ , that hurts. I release the knife, which clatters to the ground, and I automatically grip my injured arm, blood dripping ominously down onto my dark gray pants. I look up to see Will, Tori, Harrison, and Zeke rush around the elevator wall with guns drawn and Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo tackle Dr. Young to the ground, wrestle the gun away from him, and handcuff him.

"Tris!" Tobias yells, agony in his voice as he spins around to look at me. His hands hover over me like they always do when he fears I'm hurt and this time, I am.

"I'm fine," I spit through clenched teeth. I move my trembling hand away, and we look at it together and see that it's only a graze but it's bleeding quite profusely. It could have been so much worse. "Mom!" I grab ahold of her and cling to her tightly. "Are you okay?"

"Beatrice, honey, don't worry about me. I'm perfectly fine," she says releasing me. She moves my hand away from my bullet wound and looks at it. "Four, you need to make a tourniquet. We need to get you to the hospital." Tobias rips the bottom off his shirt and ties it over the wound to stop its bleeding.

"She's right, Tris," Tobias says. "We also need to check on your dad and Caleb. People have to be worried."

"Are you guys alright?" Will asks, walking up to us, slowly taking in his surroundings.

"How did you know we were here?" I say.

"We really didn't. We just followed Dr. Young and Erin," he says. "I'm sorry we didn't get here a little sooner then maybe you would have been shot, Tris."

"I'm glad you came when you did," I say giving him a quick, unexpected hug. I watch in stunned silence as Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo drag Dr. Young into a sitting position and alarm bells go off inside me. "Who's watching my kids?"

"Don't worry, Tris," Purple-Hair says. "I have four guards outside the daycare center and no one is allowed in or out without authorization. I think we're annoying some of the staff and parents." I calm instantly and give him a warm smile.

"Thanks, Simon, Tony. Let's go, Tris," Tobias says. "I'm going to leave you guys to figure this out on your own. I've got to get Tris and Natalie to the hospital." We walk to the elevator to choruses of well wishes, and when the doors open, I step into Tobias' arms.

"I'm okay," I whisper into his chest, knowing he's worried about me. The short jaunt down two stories takes only seconds and then we enter the second elevator. Mom hits the button marked with an L and quietly stands in the corner, giving us our space.

"You win, Mrs. Eaton," Tobias says in my ear while he holds me close to him, relishing the fact that our nightmare is officially over. "Knife throwing will be in the initiates' curriculum from now on. You saved my life." His voice is reverent, full of wonder. I smile into his chest as we ride the rest of the way to the ground floor in silence.


	88. Chapter 88

I love being in Tobias' arms. The feeling is nearly indescribable but I feel loved, cherished, safe, especially now that our harrowing ordeal with Maria, Erin, Wesley Harkin, Dr. Young, and even the ghost of Nicole Pearson is behind us. I'm trying to ignore the throbbing pain in my arm as we walk from the 70-story high rise behind us to our car, which is parked a short distance away directly across from the Navy Pier. Mom is quiet, walking just behind us. I lean into Tobias, suddenly exhausted, and I feel his body stiffen. I pull away from him and look up into his face.

"You know I didn't mean anything I said to Maria or to you, right?" he asks, regret and anguish twisting his handsome face. "I was just trying to throw her off balance, get us all out of there alive."

"I know you were lying, Tobias, but..." I let the thought trail off, my eyes touching the ground. I wonder when I stopped walking.

"Tris," he firmly says. "Please look at me." I tentatively raise my eyes to meet his. The grief in them pulls me into his arms again, and I hold onto him tightly with my uninjured arm. "Talk to me."

"I've always wondered why you love me. I never thought I was good enough for you," I utter into his chest and his arms tighten their hold on me. "Every word you said has run through my mind at one time or another since I met you. You seemed to pick the words that would hurt me the worst right out of my brain. I'm sorry I cried. I could see that it hurt you, and I'm sure she could see it too. I tried not to but it just hurt so damn bad. It was like you could read my biggest insecurities and were using them against me."

"Oh, God! I'm _so_ sorry," he says kissing my head. "It amazes me that you don't know how special you are." He leans back and gazes down into my eyes then raises his hand and gently cups my face, softly caressing my cheek with his thumb. "I love you so much. It's always been you. There's never been anyone else. There will never be anyone else. It's only you. One day you'll believe me because I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know how I feel. I love you, Beatrice Grace Eaton. You are the best part of me. Please don't doubt that. You're my wife, my lover, the mother of my children, my _life_. I'm sorry I had to hurt you. It's all I knew to do in that moment to keep you safe. Please forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive," I whisper. "I thank God every day that you love me. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you so much." He slowly lowers his lips to mine, and I sigh into his open mouth. I get lost in his tender yet passionate kiss for a moment before the pain in my arm pulls me back to reality. I break away from him breathless and wince.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Let's get you to the hospital." At the mention of the hospital, I remember that we're with my mom. I look around but she went ahead and is patiently waiting beside our car. I glance up at Tobias and see he's looking down at me. His cheeks are pink from embarrassment. Hopefully, we won't be reprimanded by my mother again for public displays of affection. He puts his arm around my shoulders, and we quickly walk to the car.

"I'm sorry, Mom," I say, color flooding my cheeks.

"No need to apologize," she says, "but I do want to get to the hospital as soon as we can."

"Mom, how did she get you?" I ask, turning in my seat to look at her while we race through the nearly empty city streets toward the hospital.

"It's all still so unclear to me," she says, her brows furrowed, shaking her head disbelievingly. "I forgot that Four called and warned me that your phone had been stolen until it was too late. I had been sleeping when we talked, and I think I thought it was all a bad dream. At lease I was hoping it was. Early this morning I got a text message from you ... eh, your phone asking me to meet in the parking garage. The message said you were upset and needed to talk. Of course, I went immediately but it wasn't you. Maria was waiting for me. She told me she had you. I went with her willingly. I would do anything to protect you."

"Oh, Mom," I say, tears swimming in my eyes. "Do you know what happened to the Dauntless guard who was supposed to be watching you?"

"It's not his fault Beatrice. He wanted to come with me but I told him it wasn't necessary," she says looking bashful. That probably just saved his job. "I told him I was going to meet you and that he should stay and watch over Andrew." Her face changes when she mentions my father. "Oh, _Andrew_. I've got to get to him."

"We'll be there soon, Natalie," Tobias says, pushing his foot to the floor. "I promise." We're all thrown back in our seats as the car surges forward and within minutes are walking through the double sliding glass doors into the hospital's emergency waiting room.

"I'm going to go check on your father and brother," Mom says pulling me into her arms, being cautious of my wound. She kisses my forehead then walks away from me. I watch her cross the room and get on the elevator. My eyes meet hers, and she gives me a small smile before the doors slide closed, taking her up to see my father.

"Can I help you?" a woman's gravelly voice says. I turn and look at her and suddenly realize that Tobias is no longer by my side. I look around but he's nowhere to be found.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't seem to find my husband," I say still looking around dazed.

"Is he a patient here?" she asks empathetically.

"No," I say shaking my head and turning my body to show her my arm. "I've been shot." I point at the makeshift bandage on my arm. "It looks like it's just a graze."

"Follow me," she says. Anxiety creeps up on me. Where is Tobias? Where could he have gone? I follow the nurse who is clad in bright orange scrubs that clash with her equally bright red hair. I momentarily wonder if she's Dauntless with such an unnatural hair color but I shake it off. My arm is really beginning to throb painfully. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"It's really a very long and complicated story. The man who shot me is now in custody," I say with a sigh. She carefully unwraps the strip of cloth that Tobias wrapped around my arm while I stare at the door we just entered. It suddenly opens and Tobias peeks inside.

"There you are," I say, relief washing over me. "Where did you go?"

"I'm sorry sir, but you need to wait outside," the nurse says forcefully. He gives her his scariest Four look, and she gasps and takes an involuntary step backward.

"Please let him stay with me," I say, my voice whiny and pathetic but I don't care, I need him now.

"Oh ... Okay," she stammers looking at him with fear in her eyes. Hhm, maybe she's _not_ Dauntless after all. He comes in and stands next to me, holding my good hand. She disinfects the wound, and I flinch away from the stinging pain. "Dr. Wilson will be in to look at this in a moment."

"Thank you," I say.

"Have they checked on Peanut?" he asks, his voice low, worried.

"I don't think it's necessary," I say. "She's moving around right now." I rub my swollen abdomen with my left hand lovingly.

"Good," he says, kissing my temple.

"Where did you go?" I ask again realizing he never answered me.

"I parked the car and made a call," he says. "I'm sorry I worried you." How did he know? Am I that obvious?

"How did you know I was worried?" I ask, looking up at him shyly through my lashes.

"The look on your face said it for you," he say. He lightly runs the back of his fingertips across my face, and I flush from the sudden hungry look in his eyes. "I should have told you where I was going."

"It's okay," I whisper. I lean into him and rest my head against his hard chest.

"Tris, Four," Dr. Wilson says. "A bullet wound?" He shakes his head.

"Um, I'm sure she's fine but I did dive for a gun earlier and landed pretty hard on my tummy," I say, both my hands cradling my abdomen. "She's moving around now though so, like I said, I think she's fine. I forgot that detail when the nurse asked about what happened."

"Any pain or cramping?" he asks.

"Pain," I say assessing how I actually feel, "but only in my arm."

"Let me look at this first then," he says motioning to my arm. He puts on a pair of latex gloves and pokes as gently as he can around the wound. I bite my lip and stay as still as I can throughout the examination. Just before I think he's done, I look at the red, raw gash and see that it's still oozing blood, and I suddenly feel faint. I sway into Tobias, and he grips me harder.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Are you feeling faint, Tris?" Dr. Wilson asks.

"I don't feel very well," I say, my voice breathy and slight.

"Here, lie back," Dr. Wilson says. I slowly swing my legs up, and Tobias helps me to carefully lie back on the steel examination table. The thin padding only makes it marginally comfortable. Suddenly I wish I was at home in my bed taking a nap. "This is going to take some stiches to close. I'm also going to run some tests, check your blood pressure, and do a quick ultrasound to check on the baby. I'll be right back." After he leaves the room, the nurse wheels a shiny tray draped with a sterile cloth in front of the examination table.

"Please don't touch anything on this tray," she says then fearfully glances up at Tobias and walks away.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," I mutter, my eyes closed, a small smile lifting my lips.

"Why?" Tobias asks. I can hear the confusion in his voice.

"You terrified her," I say. He chuckles and I feel his lips in my hair.

"Tris," Isobel says with some alarm. My eyes open, and she's looking down at me. "Are you okay?"

"No, I was shot," I say. She looks at my arm and grimaces.

"Yeah, I can see that," she says. "Dr. Wilson contacted me when he was told you'd been brought in. How's the baby?"

"She seems fine," I say. "She's very active right now." She smiles a relieved smile then listens patiently as I tell her in detail what happened today. I don't mind giving her the details since she's my friend.

"Oh, Tris," she says. "I'm half tempted to admit you to the hospital until your baby is born so you can be kept out of harm's way." I narrow my eyes at her trying to figure out if she's kidding or not. "After Dr. Wilson stitches up your arm and runs his tests, I'll give you _another_ ultrasound."

"Thanks, Isobel," I say. I close my eyes again. I feel Tobias' lips next to my ear and I smile.

"I'm going to go to the waiting room and let you rest," he says. I frown.

"I really don't want you to go," I say looking up at him. I see his eyes darken as we stare at each other, and he slowly starts shaking his head back and forth.

"I'll be in the waiting room," he roughly but firmly says. He runs his fingers through my hair and says, "I love you," then turns and exits the room. I start sulking but I can't help it. There's nothing I want more right now than to be tangled up with him. I groan.

"Is it that bad?" Dr. Wilson says.

"It's been a rough few weeks," I say not opening my eyes but then something pops into my head and I look over at him. "By the way, do you happen to know how my dad is?"

"I'm afraid I haven't checked on him since his procedure," he says. "I was heading that way when I was paged but I'm confident the surgeon is taking good care of him."

"That's okay and thank you," I say. "As soon as we're done here I'm going to go check on him."

"Me, too!" he says with a chuckle and I can't help myself, I laugh with him. He picks up a syringe off the sterile tray and injects the needle into the bullet wound in several different places. I think this hurts worse than actually getting shot but within a minute, the anesthetic takes affect and the top half of my arm feels pleasingly numb. He picks up what looks like a needle and thread and starts closing the wound. I try to look anywhere but at my arm while he sews it up but the constant pushing and pulling sensation makes me look once in a while. It seems like it takes at least 10 stitches to close. When he cuts the suture, he applies a balm over the stitches and then covers the area with a large, waterproof bandage. "I'd like you to keep this on for a couple days then only cover the area when you need to shower. You can get these at any pharmacy. Take acetaminophen for the pain. I'll write you a script for 10 pain pills but I really don't want you taking them unless you absolutely need to. Right now, I'm actually going to turn you over to Isobel. She will do the ultrasound and draw your blood for the tests. I'll call you with the results."

"You'll have to call Four," I say. "My phone was stolen, and I haven't gotten a new one yet."

"Okay, I'll make a note of that," he says writing in the chart. "You can go to the infirmary at Dauntless in one week to have the stitches removed. Take care of yourself, Tris. I'd rather not see you back here." I give him a smile then roll my eyes as he walks away. I close my eyes while I wait for Isobel and think about everything that happened today. If I hadn't went and got the knife, he wouldn't ... No! I can't think like that. He's alive. I'm alive. No one is after us anymore. My kids are safe. Oh, my babies. I can't wait to get this over with and see how Dad's procedure went so I can get home to kiss Tyler and Tessa.

"Are you asleep?" Isobel softly asks. I turn my head toward the sound of her voice as I drag my eyes open.

"No," I say. "Just resting."

"I wanted to apologize for the other day," she says. "I shouldn't have antagonized the situation. I didn't know that Four was going to get so upset. I shouldn't have interfered to the point that I did. I think it's because I care about you, Tris. You're not just a patient, you're a friend."

"It's okay, Isobel," I say. "He had some other things bothering him and unfortunately he chose that time to explode. He doesn't do that often but when he does, it's spectacular. I know that had to be embarrassing for you."

" _Me_? I was concerned about _you_ ," she says, wheeling over the ultrasound machine.

"We just had an argument. Believe it or not, we've had worse. It was nothing," I say. I'm not sure if I'm convincing or not but she lets the subject drop. I hate fighting with Tobias but I _love_ when we make up. Sometimes the makeup sex is worth the fight. It was that night _and_ morning.

"Let's get these tests underway," Isobel says. First she draws several vials of blood for Dr. Wilson's labs and makes me pee in a cup. Then she checks my blood pressure, which is normal even after all the stress I've been under the past couple days or should I say weeks. "Lie back and I'll do the ultrasound." I lie back on the examination table, which she raises into a reclining position and lift my shirt and lower my blood stained pants. She puts the cold gel on my tummy and I shiver. "Sorry. You would think that Erudite would figure out a way to make a gel that's not cold but no such luck." When I hear Peanut's heartbeat I smile and relax. Funny, I didn't even know I was tense. She runs the wand all over my tummy looking at this and that then concentrates on the baby.

"Perfect," I whisper when she turns the monitor toward me and I see the little life Tobias and I created growing inside me. I actually see her moving around and feel it at the same time. It's an amazing moment that I wish I was sharing with my husband.

"You're both in perfect health. Well except for the bullet wound in your arm," she says apologetically. "Remember, blood pressure checks every Monday morning. And maybe try to take it easy for the next four months."

"Wouldn't that be a novel idea," I say with a laugh. She wipes the gel off my tummy and helps me off the examination table where I straighten my clothes. I turn around and wrap my arms around her and give her a big hug, startling her. "Thank you for always taking care of me and my little peanut, Isobel. I really appreciate it."

"Maybe we can get together for lunch sometime soon," she says.

"I know a great Italian place in the center of the city that is absolutely to die for," I say. Thinking about it makes my stomach growl.

"That sounds like a great idea," she says frowning at my choice of words. "It would be nice to see you outside the clinic, hospital, or infirmary." She walks with me out into the waiting room. Tobias jumps to his feel when he see us.

"Is everything okay?" he anxiously asks. I take his hand and nod.

"She's good," Isobel says with a smile. "They both are. Dr. Wilson will call you with the test results. I'll look forward to hearing from you on a good time for lunch. Don't forget the blood pressure checks."

"I won't," I say rolling my eyes at her. "Thanks for reminding me ... _again_."

"Just doing my job," she says glancing at the clock on the wall. "I better get back to the clinic."

"Thanks again," I say.

"Bye," she says with a little wave then she heads out the doors and across the street.

"I think we should go to supper with her and her husband sometime," I say.

"That would be nice," he says. We chat about what I learned from Dr. Wilson and Isobel about my condition while we ride to the fifth floor and walk to the ICU. When we enter Dad's room, Mom and Caleb are sitting side-by-side on the rollaway, which I'm surprised is still here. Dad is lying in his bed with a bandage wrapped around his head, still unconscious. Caleb jumps up and comes running to me. He gives me a big bear hug and I moan softly.

"Are you okay?" he whispers in my ear, emotion thick in his voice. Tears spring into my eyes hearing his concern, love, and fear.

"I'm okay," I say. "I had to get some stitches but other than that I'm fine. How are you?"

"Don't worry about me," he says pulling me over to the thin mattress to sit down beside him. He wraps one arm around Mom and the other around me. I put my head on his shoulder like I used to do sometimes when I was a small child.

"It's good to see you, Caleb," I say.

"I was so worried when no one knew where Mom was and I couldn't get a hold of you or Four," he says shaking his head. "All kinds of things went through my mind but I'll admit they weren't quite as bad as what _actually_ happened. I'm so glad you're both back."

"How _is_ Dad doing?" I ask unable to take my eyes off of him.

"The balloon procedure destroyed the aneurysm and stopped the leaking. It was confirmed by another CT scan," Mom says. "The swelling at the contusion sight is gone now. The doctor is weaning the sedation, and hopefully when he wakes up he'll be himself again."

"I sure hope so," I say speaking for all of us. "Do you think we'll know anything before morning?"

"I really don't think so," she says.

"Do you mind if Four and I go home?" I ask unable to hide my anxiety. "I really want to see Tyler and Tessa. It's been a long, stressful day ... for all of us."

"Of course, Beatrice," Mom says. "I'll call Four if there are any changes and you're needed back here." I give Caleb a quick, hard hug and a kiss on the cheek then get up and do the same with Mom.

"I love you both," I say. "I'm glad you're both okay. Dad's got a lot to catch up on when he wakes up."

"That he does," Mom says. "I don't want to add to your stress but I thought you should know, Jonah's funeral is at 10 a.m. tomorrow if you're wanting to pay your respects."

"Thanks, Mom," I say. "Four and I will talk about it." I walk to Tobias' side and take him by the hand.

"Let's go get our kids," I say. "I can't wait to wrap my arms around them. For a few terrifying moments today I didn't think we were going to see them again."

"I know what you mean," he says. "I thought the same thing. Let's go." We say goodbye to Mom and Caleb again and swiftly make our way through the hospital, down to our car in the garage, and quickly drive back to Dauntless. We park in our regular spot since it's closer to the daycare center than if we would have parked outside the Pire.

"Thanks for keeping an eye out guys," Tobias says to the four very large Dauntless guards standing either side of the door to the daycare center. "Have people given you too much trouble?"

"Not really," the appointed spokesman says for the group. "We heard some grumbling but when they were told it was on Four and Tris' instructions to protect every child in there they calmed down."

"Good thinking," Tobias says. "Thanks again." He opens the door and allows me to pass. I look around for Tyler but don't see him. Panic starts to rise in me until he comes around a corner with a huge grin on his face.

"Mommy!" he says.

"Come here," I say meeting him halfway. I go down onto my knees and take him into my arms and tears I've been holding back all day start flowing down my cheek. When he notices the bandage on my arm and the blood on my pants his eyes widen.

"You otay?" He looks so serious.

"Yeah," I say. "Mommy got an ouchie." He leans over and very gently places a kiss on the bandage covering my bullet wound. I glance up at Tobias and see that he has Tessa in his arms. She sucking on her fingers and I smile. My poor nervous baby, always hungry.

"Shall we go home and have some ice cream?" I ask my family. Tyler nods his head up and down eagerly, Tessa coos, and Tobias smiles his heart melting sexy smile.

"That sounds like a great idea," he says. After he apologizes to the staff for the added security and disruptions that we inadvertently caused today, we walk home ... the only place I want to be right now.


	89. Chapter 89

I stand in front of our wall of windows staring out at the ominous dark grey thunder clouds quickly enveloping the city. I can hear the high-pitched wail of the whipping wind through the thick glass in front of me. Jagged flashes of lightning flash across the gloomy sky off in the distance, moving ever closer to the city. A deafening clap of thunder sounds, shaking the entire apartment, and I can't help but wrap my arms around myself protectively.

So much has happened the past two weeks: The kidnapping and assault, Tobias' arrest and interrogation, the marriage debacle, the shooting at Abnegation, Caleb getting hurt, Dad getting hurt, Mom getting kidnapped, the showdown with Maria and her minions, getting shot, Jonah's funeral. It's all been very stressful not only for me and Tobias but the kids, too. It's possible that this much drama could pull a couple apart but all I feel right now is a peaceful serenity that will take a lot to shake. I feel Tobias slip his arms around me, and I smile and melt into his embrace. We silently stand wrapped up in each other's arms, and it seem perfectly natural, perfectly normal.

"Have I ever told you that I absolutely love thunderstorms?" I ask.

"No," he says in my ear with genuine interest. "But it's probably not a good idea to be standing here in front of these windows." Another crashing explosion of thunder rumbles throughout the city, and I realize he's right. Where there's thunder, there's lightning. He takes my hand and drags me over to the couch where we snuggle close to one another listening to the musical sound of the heavy rain pelting the glass.

"I feel so relaxed," I say to him. "I haven't felt this at ease since ... since our honeymoon." I look up into his smiling face.

"I can feel it, too," he says, gently kissing my temple and squeezing me a little tighter. "I'm glad all that shit is over."

"I am, too. The past two weeks have been _hell_ ," I say tensing up thinking about everything I've endured, everything we've endured.

"Hey, it's in the past," he says pulling me from my reverie. "Let it stay in the past." He's right. I lean back into his hard muscled chest, and he wraps his arms around me once again, and I feel all the tension leave my body.

"How's Tyler?" I ask, worried about my unhappy son. We were supposed to go the park for family time after Jonah's touching funeral – all of Abnegation was there I swear – but the impending rain cancelled our plans.

"It took him forever to stop crying," he roughly says. It's hard for both of us to deal with his tears. It's different than Tessa's crying. She's just a baby who has had nothing but love in her life. Tyler has been put through so much in his young life. I don't want him to cry ... ever. "It was bad enough that he was devastated when we had to cancel our plans but he was fighting sleep something fierce. It made him whinier than normal. I finally rocked him to sleep."

"My poor boy," I say, lifting his hand that's resting on my tummy and kissing the palm. "How about we go to the cafeteria and have supper with all our friends tonight. I know it's Sunday and we're supposed to make a home cooked meal but I don't think we've seen enough of everyone lately. Then we can take the kids somewhere fun. Maybe the arcade, bowling lanes, or pool."

"That sounds like a great idea," he says. We lounge on the couch listening to the soft rock station, enjoying each other's company while both kids are napping when the phone rings. I move away from Tobias, and he gets up and takes his phone off the charger. "Hello?" He furrows his brows and turns to face me. "Hi, Dr. Wilson. Yeah. She's right here."

He hands me his cell phone and I say, "Hello."

"Hey, Tris. Dr. Wilson here. I was just calling you with your test results. Everything was normal except you have a slightly elevated urine protein. I called Isobel and she set up an appointment with you in the clinic for Tuesday at 10:30. She's not too worried since your blood pressure readings have all been normal but we would both rather be safe than sorry. There's a possibility of kidney infection, which also results in elevated protein or it also could be a false high reading. Try not to worry over the next couple days."

"Okay, thank you for calling," I say.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" he asks. An earlier conversation comes back and I know I need to act.

"Yes, actually there is," I say. "After I passed out when we lost Tyler you offered to set me up with a psychologist. Could you please give me his name and number? Four and I have been through a lot the past couple weeks. Talking to someone would be helpful."

"I'm glad you feel that way, Tris," he says. "I will make a couple calls on your behalf and I'll text Four with the information. Is that okay?"

"Yes, thank you so much," I say.

"It's my pleasure," he says. "Take care of yourself. Remember, I don't want to see you here in the hospital again." I can't help the giggle that escapes my lips. Every health care practitioner I know has said the exact same words to me at one time or another.

"Thanks, Dr. Wilson," I say hanging up.

"What did he say?" he asks nervously. I explain the gist of our conversation, and I see him physically tense.

"He told me not to stress, Tobias," I say pulling him back onto the couch. "It might not be anything at all or something as mild as a kidney infection. I'm sure Isobel will run more tests on Tuesday. We don't know it's preeclampsia so let's do as he asks and not worry, okay?"

"I'll try but I can't make any promises," he says. I pull him to me and kiss him softly.

"Has Mom called?" I ask trying to change the subject. She called earlier and told us that Dad still hadn't woken up even though he was no longer on any sedation. I could tell that she was on the verge of tears when we spoke. I told her I would be right over to keep her company but she wouldn't hear of it. She told me to stay with my family. I told her that she and Dad are my family too but she cut me off.

"No, she hasn't," he says.

"I'm worried about her," I say. "Hell, I'm worried about _him_. At least Caleb was able to go home this morning. I don't have to worry about him anymore."

"I think we should go see him tomorrow morning," he says. "While we're wading through all this heavy shit, I want to talk to you about something." His tone has me curious. I wriggle my way out of his embrace and turn on the couch to look at him. His eyes are wary. "I don't want to attend the interrogations, and I don't think you should either. We can get a detailed accounting from Jack when they are said and done with. We know what happened and why it happened. Why do we need to relive all the gory details?"

"What if we don't know everything or what if she was lying?" I ask.

"Stop with the 'what if's' please, love," he says shaking his head. He reaches up and clasps our hands together on the back of the couch. "I'm confident that Maria told us the entire truth because in her ... _altered mental state_ ," I laugh. I know what he's getting at, she was _CRAZY_ , "she honestly thought she was going to kill us and that she was going to get away with everything. I don't doubt her account one bit." I frown at him, and he leans over and places a gentle kiss on my lips. "I won't make a unilateral decision but I think it isn't necessary and will only cause us both unnecessary stress. Think about Peanut." I sigh.

"Bringing up the baby really isn't fair, Tobias," I sigh. "Can I think about it and let you know my decision?"

"Of course," he says.

"I could go by myself," I say.

"No, if you go, I go," he says. I shake my head at him but he just grins at me, which causes desire to bubble up. I lean over and kiss him then put my lips against his ear.

"You wanna get naked?" I pointedly ask. I want him, badly. _Now_. His sharp intake of breath hits me right between my thighs, and I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

" _Tris_ ," he groans. I can see want in his darkening eyes but I can already _hear_ the lecture coming. It's the same speech I got last night when I wanted to make love to him. "We're not making love until your arm is better. You were _shot_ yesterday. You know I can't enjoy myself if you're in pain."

"Who said I'm in pain?" I ask trying to keep the whine out of my voice but I'm not entirely convincing. My arm does hurt but it's not excruciating, and I haven't had to take any pain pills for it.

"I know you," he quietly says matter-of-factly. "I want to. Oh, _God_ , I want to. _So much._ But I want you well first." When he speaks this way, who am I to disagree.

"Okay," I say pouting. "I'm not going to argue with you like I did last night." And boy did I argue and pout and entice but _nothing_ worked. I felt utterly devastated and quite frankly completely rejected. I don't ever want to feel that way again so I'm going to let it go. I can tell there's no changing his mind.

"I should go check on the kids," I say glancing at the clock. "Tessa should be getting hungry again soon."

"Are you mad at me?" he asks not wanting to let my hand go. Am I mad at him? Part of me is ... a very _needy_ part that's aching for him to fill it.

"No, Tobias, I'm not mad. Frustrated but not mad," I say. "We'll wait but I'm doing so under protest because I'm fine and it's only my arm." He sighs, shakes his head, and releases my hand. I go upstairs and find Tyler still asleep in his bed so I go across the hall to find Tessa lying on her stomach. She's moving around so much more. "Hey, beautiful." She raises her head and smiles at me. I pick her up and hold her close. "How are you, Tessa? Did you have a good nap? You're all smiles now." I quickly change her diaper and head downstairs. "Do you want to see your Daddy?"

"Hey, Pebbles," he says holding his arms out. I smoothly hand her to him and sit down next to them with my good arm stretched across the back of the couch. We play with her until she starts whining and I know she wants fed.

"Why don't you go check on Tyler?" I ask. "He's been asleep a long time."

"Okay," he says handing me Tessa and kissing the top of both our heads. I move to the end of the couch and support my arm on the armrest and place her to my breast. She eagerly nurses, and I smile at my girl. Thank God she's back to normal today. Last night she ate about every hour until her midnight feeding then she slept until 6 a.m., which I can't complain about. Then I got an uninterrupted night's sleep.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says as he comes into the living room.

"Hi, Buddy," I say. Tobias' phone sounds again and he picks it up.

"Hi, Natalie," he says. "She's feeding Tessa right now. Can I put you on speakerphone?" She must have said yes because he pushes a button on his phone and sits it on the arm of the couch then sits in the club chair and pulls Tyler onto his lap.

"Hi, Mom," I say. "How's Dad?" I find myself holding my breath waiting for her answer.

"Well, he woke up," she says, relief plain in her voice but there's something ... off.

"Is he okay?" I ask.

"He's a little confused but Dr. Wilson said that's to be expected since he's been unconscious for nearly four days," she says. "But thankfully he's not agitated or combative like he was right after the accident."

"That's good," I say, although something is still nagging at me. "Are you okay, Mom? You sound ... funny." She sighs.

"I'm exhausted, Beatrice," she says sounding more like herself. "This rollaway you got for me isn't very comfortable. I'm looking forward to going home."

"Do you know when that will be?" Tobias asks.

"Not until at least Wednesday," she sighs. I want to tell her to go home and get a good night's rest but I know her well enough by now that she's not leaving my father's side until he goes home also so I hold my tongue.

"Is it okay if Four and I come for a visit in the morning?" I ask.

"I think that would be best, honey," she says. "Even though he's awake, he needs his rest and so do you. How's your arm?"

"It's fine, Mom," I say. "It really doesn't hurt much. I haven't had to take anything for it."

"That's good," she says stifling a yawn.

"You better take a nap," I say.

"I wanna say hi," Tyler says.

"Go ahead," Tobias says.

He leans over the phone, almost touching his lips to it and says, "Hi, Gwamma."

"Hello, Tyler, honey," she says. I can hear the smile in her voice. "Are you being a good boy?"

"Yeah, I good boy," he says. "I no go to pawk cause it wained." I shake my head.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that," she says. "You'll just have to go another day."

"Okay, bye," he says getting down off of Tobias' lap and getting a book. We all laugh at his sudden change in mood.

"We should have had you talk to him earlier," Tobias quietly says into the phone. "He cried for about an hour when we couldn't go to the park."

"Well, I know firsthand how much he _loves_ the park," she says with a laugh. "I better go. I still have to call Caleb. I'll see you in the morning. Please kiss my grandkids for me. I love you both."

"We all love you too, Mom," I say. "Give Dad a kiss for me and tell him I'm glad he's awake."

"Well that's good news," Tobias says after he puts his phone away.

"Did she sound funny to you?" I ask. "Maybe like she's not quite telling us everything."

"She sounded exhausted to me, Tris," he says. "But I don't know your mom as well as you do."

"I'm sure it's nothing," I say putting Tessa up to my shoulder to burp her. I notice that she's holding her head up straight and still. It's not bobbing at all. She's getting so strong. I place a kiss to her temple and she smiles at me.

"Guess what, Tyler?" Tobias says. He looks up at him from his usual place at the foot of the stairs with expectation. "We're going to the cafeteria for supper after Mommy finishes with Tessa and then we're going to do something fun just the four of us. How does that sound?" His eyes light up, and he nods his head excitedly. After Tessa finishes she promptly falls asleep.

"Little piglet," I whisper. I get up and place her in the stroller, which Tobias fetched from the upstairs closet while she was still eating. "Ready to go?" I know I am. My stomach is growling.

"Wide?" Tyler asks holding his arms up to Tobias when we're standing in front of his office. Tobias leans over and hoists him up onto his shoulders eliciting a face-splitting grin from our son then we leisurely wind our way down the path to the Pit and into the cafeteria. We are greeted by a chorus of surprised hellos from everyone, and I mean _everyone_. Will and Christina decided to bring Liam down to see everyone also. This couldn't be more perfect. Tobias sets Tyler down and sits down on the end of the bench. I park Tessa's stroller next to him and sit down next to Christina and give her a big hug.

"I'm so glad to see you," I say. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," she says finally releasing me. "We didn't think we'd see you guys tonight."

"I thought it would be a nice change of pace plus it feels like it's been forever since we've seen everyone. But I really am surprised to see you out and about so soon. I didn't want to take Tessa anywhere," I say watching Tyler out of the corner of my eye. He sneakily gets down and goes around the table to Uriah who is offering chocolate cake. I narrow my eyes at him. "Uriah. He needs to eat first." They both give me a big pout. I'm not sure which one of them is the toddler! "Tyler, you need to eat supper and then you can eat as much cake as you want." His eyes widen.

"Weally?" he asks with delighted surprise. Telling him he can eat as much cake as he likes is really not a sentence I thought I would ever speak.

"Yes," I say.

"I'll make him a plate, Tris," Uriah says. "Come on, kiddo. You can tell me what you like to eat." I watch as Tyler toddles after Uriah, practically running to keep up.

"Oh, this should be interesting," I say. I hear Tobias chuckle.

"Actually Will had to drag me out but I'm glad he did," Christina says continuing our previous conversation. "I was feeling a bit claustrophobic."

"I understand," I say. "So how are you doing?" I ask.

"I'll be honest, I could use a full night's sleep but other than that I've never been happier," she says gazing at Liam who is sound asleep in Shauna's arms who is surrounded by Marlene, Lynn, Ciara, Ella, and Kirsten oohing and awing.

"You look so happy," I say.

"Look Mommy," Tyler says sitting down next to Uriah with a plate full of chicken fingers, macaroni and cheese, and French fries. I should have known, not a fruit or vegetable in sight. I shake my head, and at least Uriah has the decency to look remorseful and somewhat bashful.

"That's a great plate, Tyler," I say. "Would you eat some veggies if I got them for you?" He frowns at me and I shake my head at him.

"I'm going to get you some green beans," Tobias says. "You have to eat them before you get any cake." Tyler pouts but nods his head. "I'll get you a plate, Tris. Barbeque chicken sound good?"

"Actually anything sounds good right about now," I say looking up at him. "I'm starving." He leans over and places a sweet kiss on my lips.

"I'll be right back," he says.

"So how's your arm, Tris?" Shauna asks as she hands Liam to James.

"It's okay," I say.

"Only you would say you were okay after getting shot," Ciara says rolling her eyes.

"Are you ready for one of these, Ciara?" James asks staring down at Liam in awe.

"Um," she says, shock on her face.

"I'll take that as a no," he says with a slight pout.

"Maybe in a year or so," she says, recovering her voice.

"Can you believe that in less than a month a whole new crop of initiates will be here?" Zeke asks as Tobias puts a plate full of saucy barbeque chicken, a loaded baked potato, green beans, and apple salad in front of me. He also slides a small bowl of veggies across the table to Tyler then sits down beside me and digs into his plate that twins mine.

"I can't wait," Uriah says as he starts on his second giant slice of chocolate cake. "I want to make all the pansycakes into real Dauntless members." A chorus of laughter sounds around the table.

"I have a great idea," Zeke says, a Cheshire cat grin transforming his face. "We have to throw a massive Candor or Dauntless party before Choosing Day. I think it's what we all need after the mess with Maria and her cohorts. I'm sure there's a big empty space close to the Pit we can have it at. Tell me this doesn't sound like a great idea. We can throw it the Saturday before the choosing ceremony. What does everyone say?"

"I'm in but you all know that," Uriah says, his mouthful of cake. I narrow my eyes at him.

"Seriously, Uriah, how am I supposed to teach my son anything when _you_ talk with your mouth full," I say.

"Um. Sorry, Tris," he says looking stunned. I hear people trying to stifle their laughter. It's really not like me to scold my friends.

"Sowwy, Mommy," Tyler says taking another bite of green beans. The whole table busts out laughing, and I blush a deep red.

"Sorry, Uri," I mutter.

"It's okay, Tris," he says.

"Well, I think a party's a fine idea," Kirsten says getting us away from my inappropriate outburst. "We all need to let off a little steam."

"I agree," Ella says. "It's been too long since we played and last time was a hoot."

"You're getting me all excited right now," Ciara says looking at Ella. James leans over and whispers in her ear and her lips part and a blush colors her cheeks. She turns and playfully slaps him in the chest. I have to look away from their interaction because even though it's playful it's extremely intimate. I glance up at Tobias and he's lookin at me, his look sensual, sexual and I have to drag my eyes away from him. It's not fair for him to look at me that way when he refuses to touch me.

"Well I think a party is a great idea," I say. "We could make a whole night of it. Dinner and then a few rounds of Candor or Dauntless. Great idea, Zeke."

"My man has a lot of great ideas," Shauna says with a huge grin on her face.

"Enough about your sex life," Lynn says.

"Lynn!" Shauna admonishes. Once again the table erupts in laughter. We made the right decision coming here tonight. I put my arm around Tobias and lean my head against his shoulder. He kisses my temple and slides his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

"Can I have cake?" Tyler asks. There's still food on his plate but his green beans are gone.

"Of course, you can, buddy," Tobias says.

"Well it's a good thing I have an extra slice right here," Zeke says, sliding a plate with a small piece of cake on it to Tyler.

"You eat that and then we'll go have some fun okay?" I say to Tyler.

"Okay," he says with a radiant smile on his face.

"Is Tessa awake?" I ask Tobias hearing something. He looks her way then untangles himself from me and picks her up. "Hey, my girl." She smiles when she sees me.

"Wow she looks more and more like you every day, Four," Ciara says. "Can I hold her?"

"Sure," I say. I watch as she gets up from her seat and takes Tessa in her arms thinking about what she just said. "She does look like her father just like I knew she would."

"Awe but she has my wife's beautiful eyes," Tobias says, a look of devotion on his face.

"It's amazing that your kids look just like you," James says. "That's pretty rare in adoptions."

"We're lucky in more ways than one," Tobias says.

"I done," Tyler says. Wow he inhaled that cake.

"Are you ready to go?" I ask.

"I want moe cake," he said.

"Are you sure?" I say. "You don't want a tummy ache. You've eaten quite a bit already." I hold my breath hoping he'll see my point of view and not stuff himself 'til the point he makes himself sick.

"You said," he says, his bottom lip sticking out.

"I know what I said," I say. "Come here and you can eat the rest of my cake but then that's it."

"Bye, Wiah!" he says to Uriah. He gets up and runs into my arms. I pull him up onto my lap and he eats the rest of my cake.

"How are you feeling?" I ask him.

"I full," he says rubbing his eyes.

"Are you tired?" Tobias asks him. Tyler's eyes widen.

"No." His answer tells me he's tired but not wanting to go to sleep.

"I have an idea," I say. "What if we go home and have a _Cars_ marathon. I'll even make some popcorn after the first one. Does that sound like something you would be interested in?"

He thinks about it with furrowed brows until a smile lifts his lips and he says, "Okay, Mommy? Let's go."

"Give Mommy and Daddy a minute and we'll go, alright?" I ask.

"Otay," he says. He starts circling the table giving out hugs, kisses, and goodbyes. I get up from the table and go to retrieve Tessa from Kirsten who now has her. She's cooing at her and when she sees me, she lights up. I take her and give her little pecks.

"Can you say bye to our friends, Tessa?" I say waving her hand bye-bye at everyone. I put her back in the stroller, Tobias lifts Tyler onto his shoulders, and we say goodnight to our friends. It doesn't take us long to walk back up to the apartment. The minute we do, Tyler gets the movie off the shelf and waits less than patiently for me to put it in. I sit down on the couch after putting Tessa in her swing and setting the timer. Tobias sits down next to me and Tyler surprises us both by wanting to sit with us so we scoot apart and let us sit between us. Before the second movie is half way over, he's out like a light but we don't move him.

"Have you made a decision about the interrogations?" Tobias asks out of the blue.

"I don't know. Part of me really wants to hear their explanation but the bigger part of me thinks you're right that reading the notes will give us the same information. Plus I really want to see how Dad is doing."

"I think you've made your decision," he softly says.

"I think you're right," I say. "No interrogations. Seeing how Dad is doing is more important plus I'm so done with all that crap. If there is more to the story, we'll deal with it then."

"Very level headed, Mrs. Eaton," he says leaning over to place his lips to mine but I stop him by putting my finger over his lips.

"Tobias," I say, the overwhelming need I'm suddenly feeling more than evident in my voice. "Please don't kiss me, not if I can't make love to you."

"Tris, love," he sighs. "I'm sorry. Let's go to bed. It's been a long day."

"Okay," I say. He picks up Tyler and I pick up Tessa and we head upstairs. I feed Tessa while Tobias tucks in Tyler then I take a quick shower using a relaxing lavender-scented body wash. I put on a pair of short PJs then head into my bedroom. Tobias is sitting up against the headboard and looks up when I come into the room.

"Can we talk?" he asks.

"Sure," I say sliding in between the cool sheets.

"I need to apologize to you," he says. "I'm not meaning to reject you. I love you. I want to make love just as much as you do but you're hurt. I mean, you were _shot_ yesterday, and I don't want you to be in pain." I start to tell him I'm not in pain but he stops me. "You may not be in a lot of pain but I know you. I can see the pain in your eyes. What if I move the wrong way and hit your wound or we did something and it ripped your stitches open. Please let's wait. We _need_ to wait." I sigh.

"Okay, you're right," I say sliding down between the sheets. "My arm does hurt. But you telling me no hurts worse."

"Oh, God," he says with an agonizing groan.

"I'm not saying this to hurt you," I say rolling onto my side. He slides down so that we're both lying on our sides face to face. "I love you. I don't ever want to hurt you. I was just trying to tell you the truth."

"We can always be honest with each other," he says.

"Without fear or embarrassment," I say. "I remember." I reach out and tentatively run my hand down his cheek. "I don't exactly know how to deal with how I'm feeling right now, Tobias. This need is … _overwhelming_. It's not as bad when the kids are with us or I'm distracted but when it's just you and me, it's…"

"Hell," he says and I nod. "Remember, I'm feeling it too."

"I love you," I say moving my lips to his for a tender kiss. Neither one of us let it deepen. It would be too hard to stop. He lies back on the bed, and I cuddle into his side mindful of my bandaged arm.

"Goodnight," he says after we've been quiet for a time, kissing the top of my head. "I love you."

"Goodnight," I mumble already nearing sleep. "I love you, too."


	90. Chapter 90

I stand back and admire my handiwork. I know Tobias should be home at any minute, and I can't wait. Our bedroom looks absolutely perfect. I put new dimmable lightbulbs in both the bedside lamps and have them on the lowest setting for mood lighting. I pulled the quilt off the bed, folded it neatly, and tucked it away on the top shelf in the closet. We won't be needing it tonight. I bought brand new bright white 1800 count high quality cotton sheets and replaced our normal everyday bedsheets with them. They feel so luxurious. They should for the price I paid for them but I want tonight to be absolutely perfect.

I left a trail of red and white rose petals for him to follow straight to me from just inside the front door, through the living room, up the stairs, down the hallway, and into our bedroom. I even scattered them up and across the bed like he did for me on Valentine's Day. I have lit red and white cherry-and-vanilla-scented votives and pillars on every available surface in the room, and the way the light is swaying and dancing off the walls, it gives the room a mysterious yet romantic ambiance.

It took me a while to figure out how I should dress for what I have in mind tonight. I thought about just lying across the bed au natural but I wanted something sexy, flirty, and fun and something he had to take off of me. After getting Christina's much-needed advice, I decided to do a little shopping after spending a couple hours in the salon getting massaged, waxed, and primped, not necessarily in that order, for this evening while Tyler and Tessa where with Zeke, Shauna, Uriah, and Marlene. They took them to the playroom just off the arcade. I opted for a new delicate black lace push up bra, matching lace hipster boy shorts, sheer black lace thigh high stockings, and a new pair of 4 inch black lace-covered stiletto pumps. I'm going to pair them with Tobias' crisp white tuxedo shirt that he once told me he'd like me to wear for him sometime. When I look in the mirror, I know I made the right choice. It's one hell of a sexy ensemble. I barely recognize myself. He's going to love it when he sees me.

This past week has been hard on us both. We desperately need tonight. We've spent a lot of quality family time together but Tobias and I haven't allowed ourselves to be very close. At first I thought he was just honoring my request for him not to kiss me or touch me but when I really sat back and looked at the situation, I know it's been hard for him too. We would give each other quick pecks hello or goodbye, and we still slept in each other's arms but that's as far as either one of us would allow it to go. Sometimes I caught him looking at me with such longing in his eyes. A small part of me wanted to be angry and tell him that he's the one who is making us both suffer so but the larger more rational part of me knew that he was right to make us wait until my arm healed. I sigh thinking about tonight. I swear the first thing I'm going to do when I see him is shove my tongue down his throat. It's been too long since I just got to _kiss_ him.

Thankfully, I've had a lot to keep me occupied this past week or I think I would have combusted from pent-up sexual frustration by now. On Monday, Tobias and I took Tyler and Tessa to the hospital to spend the day with my dad and mom after I went to the infirmary and had my blood pressure checked. It was normal. Thankfully, Dad seemed like his old self. He was so happy to see us, especially the kids. We knew they weren't supposed to be there but we took them in anyway. The worst the hospital could have done was kick us out but they didn't bat an eyelash at us. Mom told him everything that had happened while he was unconscious, and he tried really hard to hold it together. He was especially upset that he'd missed Jonah's funeral. I told him that Four and I took the kids and paid our respects for our entire family and that Melissa and Dalton, Jonah's wife and son, were very understanding about his absence and sent well wishes for a speedy recovery. He fought the tears long and hard before finally surrendering to them. I felt so bad.

On Tuesday, I had my doctor's appointment with Isobel. Even though I wasn't expecting it, she performed a full prenatal examination. Everything was satisfactory except for my urine protein. It was still a bit elevated so she performed a kidney infection dip test at the same time and told me that I had a mild kidney infection, which was the cause for the elevated number. She gave me a course of pregnancy-safe antibiotics and told me to drink more water. We also talked about getting together for a double date, which she thought was a great idea. She was going to talk to Carter when she got home, synchronize their schedules, and get back with me. She sounded really excited about introducing us to her family and, to be honest, I'm excited about meeting them.

When I got home from picking the kids up from daycare after my appointment, I was surprised to find Tobias sitting in the middle of the living room on the couch going through a file. I was expecting him to still be at work but he came home early for lunch looking tired and stressed. Jack Kang had hand delivered transcripts of Dr. Young, Erin, and Wesley Harkin's interrogations and sentences, and he wanted to talk about what he had learned, which wasn't really anything new. Maria had played upon Erin's grief to seek revenge for the death of Nicole. She in turn enlisted the help of her fiancé and his best friend. They had been duped by Maria at every step. They honestly believed that Tobias left Nicole for me and it had them all raging mad at me. Their first plan of attack was against my father. They wanted to hurt me by hurting those I loved the most. They sent all the false anonymous reports to Erudite and got extremely frustrated when Erudite didn't respond. It was Harkin and Young who Robert overheard in the city park bathroom discussing their failed plot. They gave a detailed account of my father's beating, which left me equally livid and emotionally wrung out. I kind of tuned out while Tobias read the rest of the file thinking of all the ways these maniacs _had_ affected us and _could have_ affected us. But when he mentioned their punishments, my ears perked up. Of course, Wesley Harkin was caught red-handed in Abnegation killing people so his death sentence was no surprise. What was a surprise was the fact that the city showed leniency with Erin and Dr. Young and took pity on their stupidity and trusting nature. Maybe they thought the grazing head wound Erin got from Maria before her death was a form of punishment. Who knows? They will both spend the next six months in jail and then be factionless for the rest of their lives. I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about that. My selfless side says to forgive them that they won't harm anyone else but my pissed off Dauntless side says to annihilate them. I wonder if I will always have this epic internal struggle.

On Wednesday, Dad was finally released from the hospital with a clean bill of health. I took the kids to Abnegation before he got home to open the house to air it out and make lunch and supper for him and Mom. They were both happy to see us, and Mom was grateful that she wouldn't have to cook for the next couple days. I didn't want to wear Dad out so we said goodbye right after lunch. I didn't even realize I was driving to Candor until I pulled up outside the Hayes' apartment building. With some trepidation, I got the kids out of the car and took them up to see Ruth. She was extremely surprised when she opened the door to find me on her doorstep but she welcomed me with open arms and immediately fell in love with my kids and them with her. She avoided talking about _him_ for which I was thankful, and I didn't talk about Tobias. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, especially in her own home. I tried to give her half the 10,000 points I got from the city after Peter's death but she wouldn't hear of it. She told me to use it for something worthwhile. She agreed wholeheartedly with my plan to give it to feed the factionless. I have a feeling she was originally from Abnegation but I didn't have the guts to ask her. The one thing I do know is that I was right. I really like her, and I can see us becoming good friends.

On Thursday, Lauren finally unlocked Maria's financial records. All the points she stole from the unsuspecting men were in her account. She didn't even try to hide them. For being a total psychopath, she kept immaculate records, and she was right, she targeted _109_ men total, over half of whom did not report the incident because they were married at the time of their assaults. All the money was put back in the rightful accounts without much whoopla. This officially closed the door on one of the roughest times in Dauntless history.

The kids and I spent the afternoon with Christina and Liam. We had such a good time. It had been so long since we just sat around talking and laughing. She asked a lot of questions about being a mom. I answered her to the best of my ability then gave her the advice Isobel gave me right after Tessa was born, "You can read pamphlets and books and talk to others, but nothing replaces firsthand experience." She found that just as helpful as I did. When the kids were all asleep, our conversation drifted to sex, which shouldn't have surprised me. Christina has an insatiable need to talk about sex. I found myself opening up further, and she was obviously grateful. I even complained about Tobias cutting me off so to speak this week and she commiserated with me.

On Friday, I found Tobias in Tessa's room holding her close, tears freely running down his face, and I immediately thought the worse – something was wrong with our darling baby girl but she was just asleep. He actually was having an emotional moment over his mother's death. So much has happened in the past eight weeks that he really hasn't taken the time to properly grieve. I put Tessa in her crib and led him downstairs to the couch where I held him while he cried. After his tears ran dry, we talked about how he was feeling and decided that it was time to scatter her ashes. He's going to contact Jeffrey and Laurel with a date, time, and place. He's also going to send a message to Edward through a factionless man who knew his mother, someone he exchanged messages with her through before. He seemed more at peace after his emotional outburst and our talk, and I learned more about his life with his mother. I wonder if that blue glass sculpture is still on his desk in Marcus' house. I shake the thought off. There's no way for me to get it for him no matter how much I would like to plus I doubt it would still be there after all this time anyway.

This morning I went to the infirmary, and Zander took the stitches out of my arm but first he did a complete examination, poking and prodding like it made him the happiest person in the world. I think our dear friend may be a sadist. I wonder why I never noticed before. It was still a little tender, especially after all the unnecessary palpating but it was nothing that a couple acetaminophen tablets couldn't take care of. It doesn't hurt at all right now. I _am_ going to have a nasty looking scar though but Zander told me it just made me look even more Dauntless than I already do, and I had to laugh at that.

When I finished, I spent the morning with Tyler and Tessa at the park just down the street since they're spending the night with my mom and dad and I didn't know when I would exactly see them again tomorrow. Tyler was incandescently happy. I swear he could have lit up the city twice over. I packed a small picnic lunch consisting of chicken salad sandwiches, sweet potato chips, carrot sticks, apple slices, and bottled water, which we ate under a shade tree after he wore out the slide. Zeke, Shauna, Uriah, and Marlene picked the kids up in the Pire after lunch, and I spent the afternoon getting ready for tonight. Tobias picked them up after he got off work and immediately took them to Abnegation.

The sound of the front door closing pulls me from my reverie, and the desire that's built up over the past week explodes low in my belly. I lie on my side across the bed, my head propped up in my hand, one leg resting on the other slightly bent facing the door trying to look as sultry and sensual as possible. I hear his footfalls on the stairs, and my heart stutters, stops beating, and picks up triple time as the anticipation builds to immense heights. When he reaches the doorway, he stops in his tracks. His sharp intake of breath and dilating eyes hits me between my thighs, and I clamp my legs together trying to control this deep ache.

"Mr. Eaton," I say, although I don't recognize the breathy, needy, husky articulation coming from my mouth. It doesn't sound like me at all. I hear an intense groan reverberate deep in his chest. He seems frozen in place so I decide to go to him. I sit up as I gracefully swing my legs in front of me and stand up then take the necessary steps to close the distance between us. Without taking my eyes off his, I lightly run both hands down his chest.

"Mrs. Eaton," he finally says, his eyes gliding over my body appreciatively. He opens his mouth and shuts it a couple times like he's unable to communicate a thought. I reach up and slowly pull his mouth to mine as his hands land on my waist and pulls my body to his. Our kiss is tentative at first then the passion explodes and it's all fire, lust, and pent up frustration. His tongue finds mine as he tries to devour me whole with his lips. My nimble fingers move to the small buttons of his gray and black striped shirt and make quick work of them. I slide my steady hands up his sculpted naked chest and push his shirt off his shoulders, and it sails to the ground pooling at our feet. I trace my name, which overlies his heart with the tips of my fingers, and I feel his heartbeat increase rapidly.

"I don't think I can do this," he says and my eyes fly to his. I can't imagine the emotions they're betraying. I'm _so_ confused and more than a little angry. I can see that he wants me … badly. "I mean we can't go slowly, Tris. I need to be inside you this instant."

"Oh!" I stand frozen as he unceremoniously unbuttons his pants, lowers the zipper, and in one quick movement removes his faded black jeans and tight little dark gray boxer briefs and tosses them to the floor. He picks me up and gently lies me at the end of the bed, my legs hanging over the side. He looks down at me with an intense gaze that actually makes me blush bright red. I wonder what he's thinking. He puts his hands on the waistband of my panties and quickly lowers them down my legs and drops them on the floor. He glides his hand up my thigh and slowly inserts a finger onto my tight, moist womanhood, closes his eyes in what looks like silent prayer, and groans.

"Good, you're ready for me," he roughly says removing his hand. While still standing, he leans over my body resting on his outstretched arms and settles between my parts my thighs. He places himself at my moist entrance and slowly sinks fully into me. We both moan at the intimate contact. "Do you have any idea how much I missed this?" He slowly lowers his mouth to mine, and I throw my arms around his neck not wanting to give up the feel of his body on mine and kiss him with wild abandon.

"Please," I beg when we breakaway breathless, our hearts beating a wild rhythm in our chests. He leans up on his arms again forcing me to release him from my embrace.

"This is going to be quick, love. I want you so much," he whispers roughly and he starts to move. I twist my fingers into the bedsheets and move my hips to his, matching the enthusiastic pace he set. He slides his hand between us and gently circles my throbbing bundle of nerves with the callused pad of his thumb carrying me closer to my release. He increases our pace further, and I feel myself climbing toward an unobtainable height. He increases the friction of his thumb on my nubbin, and I finally reach the summit. I seem to hover at the peak for a moment, weightless, before slipping over the edge into a crashing, explosive, all-consuming release. I scream his name as I arch beneath him, my head thrown back, my toes curled, my eyes rolled back in my skull. My reaction to his expertise pushes him over the edge, and I feel him explode deep inside, flooding my tight depths with his life giving seed. I feel my body go weak as he pulls out of me and flops down on the end of the bed beside me. I slowly turn my head and meet his gaze.

"Hi," I say with a satisfied smile curling my lips.

"Hi," he says rolling up on his side. "This is one hell of an outfit." He leisurely glides his eyes from the top of my head to the tips of my stilettos.

"It must be, based on your reaction," I say with a giggle.

"As much as I appreciate it, and I truly do, I would love to get you naked," he says, his voice gravelly, rough. "Thank you for all this." He looks around the room at the romantic ambiance that I created. "I love the trial of rose petals you left me that led me to this, to you … the most beautiful woman in the world." He slowly glides his fingertips from just above my knee up my body until he is cupping my cheek. "But I really don't need all this. I only need you."

"That's an amazingly sweet thing to say, my husband," I say reaching up and caressing his handsome face. "But I wanted to do something special for you to let you know just how much I love you."

"Thank you again," he says placing his lips to mine for a tender kiss. "I love you, too." He suddenly gets up off the end of the bed and pulls me to my feet. "I love the shoes. I think we'll keep those on. And I've never seen stockings like this. They're deathly sexy, love." I smirk at him. Him and his shoe fetish! He places his hands on my waist and slowly moves them up my body until he reaches my breasts. He cups each full mound and kneads gently, never once taking his eyes off mine. I watch as they dilate and I gasp. It's a heady feeling knowing that I have the power to do this to him, to turn him on sexually. He releases my breasts and slowly glides his hands up my chest to my collarbones and slides the tuxedo shirt over my shoulders until it falls at my feet. I boldly reach up behind me, unhook the clasp on my bra, and let it slide down my arms and off my body until it joins our clothes scattered across the floor. "Stockings and sexy shoes. Why Mrs. Eaton, you look good enough to eat." The predatory look on his face makes my mouth go dry and my insides clench. He takes a step toward me, and I automatically take a step back, running into my bed. He closes the distance between us, takes me in his arms, and places his lips on mine. This kiss starts out slow, tender, sensual but soon is hungry, passionate, carnal. He lowers me onto the bed, and we slide back until we are both in the center.

"Oh, Tobias," I breathlessly say when he moves his mouth to the hollow in my neck. I run my hands over the rippling muscles of back and luxuriate in their feel.

"I love your body," he says, seductively running the pink tip of his tongue over his parted lips to moisten them. When I finally figure out I'm holding my breath, I expel it in a huff then pull a ragged, uneven breath into my burning lungs. He places his lips below my ear and gently glides them down my neck, pressing tender kisses along the way. He takes his time sliding them from one side of my neck to the other, teasing me along the way. I physically shudder at his touch, and I hear _and_ feel his chuckle against my skin. I moan when he darts his tongue out of his mouth and slowly traces the outline of my raven's one at a time. I scratch my nails down his back, and he growls but he doesn't stop his ministrations. When he finally reaches my aching, tender breasts I let out a sigh. He leisurely kisses every inch of each swollen, sensitized mound leaving me squirming beneath him before he draws an erect nipple into his hot, wet, hungry mouth. He gently nibbles on it then circles it with his tongue over and over before sucking it into his mouth. He sucks for a moment then I feel him swallow and I tense. He pulls away from my breast with questioning eyes.

"I'm not sure how I feel about you doing that, Tobias," I slowly say, my voice as weak as my will. If he wants to drink from my breast, I know I'll let him but I'm still torn. He smiles his breathtaking Tobias smile at me and puts his mouth back on my breast. He sucks a few times, releases me, and moves up over my body before putting his mouth on mine. He shoves his tongue through my resistant lips until it meets mine, and I taste my milk on his tongue. It surprises me. It's warm of course and not from just being in his mouth but it's sweet, creamy, and if I'm not mistaken has a hint of coconut flavoring to it, possibly from my body lotion I applied earlier. I really don't know. He pulls back and stares down into my eyes, no trace of humor to be seen.

"Well?" he asks. "It's good, isn't it? But I will honor whatever it is that you want me to do."

"Do you like it?" I whisper, not believing I'm considering his request. I can hear the wonder in my voice. He moves a hand up to knead one breast gently as he lowers his mouth and captures the other nipple between his lips. First he laps at the hard bud with his tongue, then teases it with little nips before slowly sucking my nipple into his mouth. I feel every pull between my thighs, causing me to moan. He knows what he's doing. This feels _so_ good. I watch as he closes his eyes and a blissfully content look comes over his face. There's my answer. He likes it. "Not too much, Tobias." I run my hand through his hair, and he looks up at me.

"Thank you," he says. He goes back to licking, nibbling, tugging, and pulling on my nipple, causing that delicious feeling between my parted thighs to rapidly increase then switches breasts and continues his welcome assault.

"Oh, my God," I moan as his mouth is working over one nipple while his hand massages the other full, aching breast, rolling the nipple repeatedly between his thumb and fingers. "You're gonna … _holy shit_ … I'm gonna … _Tobias_ , holy shit I'm gonna _come_. Oh, my _God_." My entire body starts to tremble and my muscles clench. I arch off the bed as my orgasm takes hold but he continues his ministrations like my writhing isn't bothering him in the least. He releases my aching breasts and kisses his way to my belly as I try to regain use of my lungs. He kneels over my tummy and puts both hands on it, staring at it reverently. He loves my pregnant belly. He is such a mystery to me.

"I love you," he says, peppering kisses all over my belly. Although I first think he is talking to me, it's blatantly obvious he's talking to Peanut. Soon he moves further down my body until he's lying between my outstretched legs. He slowly runs his hand up my calf, and I hear a growl come from the back of his throat. He puts his lips on the top of my foot and kisses his way up my stocking-clad thigh then starts all over with the other leg. I catch his eye, and his ravenous look almost makes me come again right now, and his mouth isn't on me yet. "Are you ready for this, love?" He kisses the inside of my thigh.

"Are you teasing me, Mr. Eaton?" I whisper playfully.

"Would I do that?" he asks, the devil in his eyes and I know the answer to that question.

"Yes, I know you would do that," I grin. "Now if you don't mind," I curl my hand around the back of his head, "I want your mouth on me." He lets me pull his head down and kisses my womanhood before using his talented tongue to help me climb toward yet another peak. He slowly inserts a finger into my moist center then quickly adds another as his tongue dizzyingly dances over my nubbin. I start to pant loudly and moan his name again and again as he increases the pace he set with his fingers. I start moving my hips in synchronization with his tongue and fingers, and I'm hit by a shuddering, clenching release. He holds me tightly in place so that I can't escape his fingers or tongue and doesn't stop until I explode around his fingers a second time. "Stop, God, _please stop,_ baby. I need you to stop." He takes his mouth off me and slowly kisses his way back up my body until he's lying beside me. He puts his mouth on mine and kisses me deeply, sensually, lovingly. I swear right now my lips are the only part of my body which are under my control. When he pulls away, he smiles his cocky grin, and I roll my eyes.

"Well you did ask me to put my mouth on you," he says. I giggle.

"I hope you're not expecting me to reciprocate because you just exhausted me," I say still panting. He sticks his bottom lip out pouting and I'm struck by how much he looks like Tyler right now. "It's your fault, baby. Four orgasms in such a short amount of time." He glides his fingers down my cheek and pulls my mouth to his again. When I can no longer breathe I realize my strength has returned, and I'm not done with my man yet. I glide my hand down his body and tightly grip his throbbing manhood with my fingers. I slide my fist back and forth as I stare Tobias in the eyes. He gasps then moans softly. I kiss his shoulder then the tattoo over his heart while I keep up the steady pace on his rock hard length. I tease his erect nipples before running the tip of my tongue down to his navel and French kissing it like I do his mouth. I feel Tobias moan so deep it feels like it began beneath my lips.

"Love," he breathlessly says. "You're going to make me come." I smile sweetly at him and give him a look that says, "Hey, that's the idea," then take him fully into my mouth. I suck him hard surprising him, surprising myself. I didn't know I could be this aggressive but I'm loving it and, more importantly, he's loving it. I take him further and further into my mouth, sucking him harder and harder while he lifts his hips to push himself deeper into my mouth until he tenses beneath me. After a few more up and down passes, he releases himself into my mouth with a loud grunt, holding onto my head with both hands. I release him from my mouth and kiss my way back up his body until I capture his lips with mine. He rolls us quickly so that he's hovering above me.

"I love you," I say. "Make love to me." He takes my hand and pulls it to his shaft.

"I may need some help," he says. I grin at him as I once again wrap my fingers around his sizeable manhood. I glide my glove-like fist up and down his shaft feeling him harden and lengthen while he kisses the sensitive spot beneath my left ear. "God, your hand feels good." I look up into his eyes, realizing I was staring at my hand or rather what's in my hand. His look is intense, and I pull his mouth to mine for a scorching kiss. He positions himself between my outstretched legs, and I place him at my moist center. After removing my hand, he fills me in one driving thrust.

"Oh, God, Tobias," I gasp. "You feel so good inside me. Love me. _Please_." I expect him to start moving but he doesn't. He just gazes lovingly down into my eyes, caressing my face with his fingertips.

"This is my favorite place to be," he says. "Buried deep in the woman I love. I'm so lucky. So make love to _me_ , my Beatrice Grace." He rolls us until I'm on top of him. I sit up and stare down at him while he looks up at me in awe. I put my hands on his abdomen to steady myself and grind my hips into his, feeling him deeper inside. I push myself off him with my knees then let gravity pull me back down. I keep the pace slow for a while until I feel the need deep in my belly grow, and I rock against him harder, faster. He lifts his hands and starts kneading my aching breasts while I ride him. I lean forward and put my hands on his shoulders, making sure my belly isn't in the way and increase our rhythm again. He moves his hands to my hips and helps move me up and down on his impressive length. I push myself back on every one of his upward thrusts, and I once again feel myself climbing higher … reaching upward … seeking ... searching, and finally I shatter into a million pieces around his hammering length. My orgasm triggers his, and he calls out my name as he buries himself fully and lets go. I collapse on top of him totally spent, and he rolls us onto our side so we can catch our breath. He pulls out of me then we lie in each other's arms, staring into each other's eyes.

"Thank you," I quietly say. "What a wonderful night."

"You planned everything," he says. "I should be thanking you. How is your arm anyway?"

"There's going to be a nasty scar," I say rolling to show him where the stitches were removed this morning. He softly touches the red jagged line on my right arm then leans down and kisses it.

"That damn bastard," he mutters.

"Let's not think about him tonight," I say. "This is our time." He sighs.

"Your right," he says, kissing my temple. "I'm sorry that I made us wait all week. Just in case you don't know this, it was rough on me also."

"I know," I say. "I could tell. I'm just glad it's over now." I freely run my hands up and down his naked chest then around to his back. "I guess I'm selfish. I don't like having to wait."

"Neither do I," he says, gently running his knuckles down the side of my face. "I like to be able to take you wherever I want, whenever I want but sometimes it isn't that easy. I will never put my needs over your safety and wellbeing. I love you too much to do that." Amazingly enough I once again feel the flames of desire stoked deep in my belly, and I draw in a ragged breath.

"I love you, too, Tobias," I whisper, pulling him to me once again, wanting to feel him on me, in me. "More today than yesterday."


End file.
